Work Text:
-Cookie felt like giving himself a little treat today. He drove all the way to McDonald’s after work. He parked his car before entering the fast food restaurant. He was surprised to see quite a few familiar faces.
-He saw Schmitty sitting across from Dot, the Drawful Host. The two seemed to be arguing over something while eating big macs.
-Mr. Fly, the Lie Swatter Host, was eating from the garbage. Well, that was someone he didn’t think he’d see again.
-He noticed M. Bubz too, sitting with some object people who he can only assume were workers. They looked like they were having a meeting? Why here?
-He noticed StormyxSkies, the FixyText host there too with some other lady. Were they having a date?
-Cookie approached the counter and began to order. As Cookie was saying his order, Dot and Schmitty looked over, their expressions growing more horrified as Cookie listed his long order.
(McDonald’s Worker): “Um...is that all?”
(Cookie): “Yes, that is all.”
-The McDonald’s Worker slowly nodded as he then brought the order to the back.
(Schmitty): “Cookie? Wha-what are you doing here?”
-Schmitty said, carefully approaching.
-Cookie turned to Schmitty, crossing his arms.
(Cookie): “What else am I doing here? I’m treating myself well!”
-Dot then chimed in.
(Dot): “Heh, cool…”
-Suddenly, Stormy called out from her seat.
(StormyxSkies): “Hey, chunky, didn’t you kill an intern on set toda-”
(Cookie): “YOU HEARD NOTHING!!!”
-Stormy suddenly approached, only halfway walking did she glance up from her phone.
(StormyxSkies): “Oh, really? Well, lemme tell you something, Mr. Ego, my ears don’t lie! I know what I heard!”
(Cookie): “Yeesh, surprising. I thought you had the attention span of a fruit fly.”
-Before Stormy could say anything, Dot broke in.
(Dot): “Alright, let’s chill. We don’t need to fight.”
(StormyxSkies): “Yeah, whatever, I just recognized him, that’s all.”
-Dot, Schmitty and Cookie looked at each other before one of them spoke up.
(Dot): “If you heard what you heard...did you call the cops?”
(StormyxSkies): “Ugh, that’s so much work! No!”
(Cookie): “So then why did you bring it up?”
(StormyxSkies): “Because I recognized you?”
(Cookie): “I was the dude who read out the Pack 10 room codes, you could’ve just said ‘hey, you’re the room code reader’ or something.”
(StormyxSkies): “Lame.”
-Stormy then began back to her seat, suddenly uninterested.
(Dot): “What’s her deal?”
(Schmitty): “Zoomer…”
-Cookie simply shrugged as he waited for his food to be served.
-Suddenly, the doors swung open. Schmitty immediately let out a girly scream and jumped towards Cookie, making Cookie catch him in his arms. Upon looking, Cookie saw who entered.
-It was some dude wearing a black paperboy hat and a black track-suit jacket. He had a white mask on that made his yellow eyes stand out and his hair was severely disheveled and needed a serious trimming and brushing.
-Dot glanced past Cookie and Schmitty to see who it was.
-Mr. Fly immediately shrunk into a small fly size and hid inside the trash can.
-M. Bubz looked up at the person and then went back to talking with their workers.
-Stormy and her girlfriend looked at the man.
(Girlfriend of Stormy): “We should probably leave…”
-She whispered to Stormy.
(StormyxSkies): “Why?”
-Stormy whispered back
-Before anyone could make a move, the man spoke.
(Redacted): “Hiiii, Schmittyyyyy”
-Schmitty shrieked again.
(Redacted): “Relax, I just came to order a Happy Meal.”
-Schmitty was shaking in Cookie’s grasp as he stared at Redacted, pale as a sheet.
(Cookie): “Um...Mister? Why are you ordering a Happy Meal?”
(Redacted): “I want to get my Fluttershy toy!”
(Cookie): “What are you? Six years old?”
(Redacted): “Actually, I’m forty-eight.”
(Dot): “Cookie, you’re one to speak, weren’t you a-”
(Cookie): “DOT, SHUT UP!!!”
(Redacted): “Wait...Cookie? THE Cookie Masterson?”
(Cookie): “Huh?”
(Redacted): “Wow, the way you totally killed that intern made me wanna be there in the studio with you! I bet that was fantastic to sit there and watch, haha!”
-Everyone fell silent for a moment and looked at Redacted…
(Dot): “I’m sorry?”
(StormyxSkies): “What the fuck?”
(M. Bubz): “Oh, hey, it’s the trivia guy killer man.”
(Mr. Fly): “I’m going to throw up...”
(Schmitty): …!
(Cookie): “Sir...what the actual fu-”
(Redacted): “Oh come on, I’m sure we can be the bestiest of pals!”
(Cookie): “Bestiest?”
-Suddenly, the McDonald’s Worker came back with Cookie’s huge order.
(McDonald’s Worker): “Order up for number 12. Oh, you’re right here.”
-Cookie dropped Schmitty to the floor and (not so happily) paid before taking his tray and walking to an empty table.
-Redacted stared in shock. His jaw had to have been wide open even though his mouth was not seen due to the mask.
(Redacted): “I’m...I’m gonna order my Happy Meal now…”
-Everything seemingly calmed down after that, aside from Redacted silently sobbing that he got Rainbow Dash instead of Fluttershy.
-Then...soon...Cookie was the only one left in the McDonald’s. He left, having eaten everything. He stepped outside to see Redacted about to light his Rainbow Dash McDonald’s toy on fire in the parking lot.
-Cookie tried to move away but Redacted turned to him and saw him.
(Redacted): “Oh, hey, Cookie! You should come back to my camp! I’ve been setting up for a very special occasion!”
(Cookie): “Um...no thanks?”
(Redacted): “PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!???”
-Redacted said with puppy dog eyes.
(Cookie): “...uh…”
(Redacted): “I’ll give you my leftovers.”
(Cookie): “Leftovers? I mean, no!”
-Cookie quickly rushed back to his car, Redacted following him as he quickly drove away, running over Rainbow Dash in the process…
(Redacted): “Awwww…”
-Redacted frowned and then set Rainbow Dash ablaze.