Chapter Text
Pop!
With the snap of Caine's fingers, all six humans found themselves teleported to the stage, much to their varying degrees of annoyance.
“Brightest of mornings, my bouncy bronies!” The teeth chattered, failing or not caring to read the vibes of the room.
A voice groaned. “Of all the things to call us, could you please never pick that one again?”
“Ah, keen and observant eye, Zooble!” Caine emphasized “eye” as if he made some sort of pun worthy of pride. He didn't.
“My word choice happens to be particularly intentional today! For today, you all shall be partaking in a very equine-rific adventure!!”
Eleven disinterested eyes and one disinterested button stared up at the over-enthusiastic ringmaster. He remained unphased.
“That's right! For the first time ever, coming straight from the suggestion box, get ready for a Pony Pal-A-Round!”
Ragatha gasped excitedly. “Are we going to the horse ranch again?” That must have been before Pomni’s time, the jester thought.
“I could get behind that!” The ragdoll beamed. Jax rolled his eyes.
“Even better, Red Hair And Pronouns!” This was a new nickname. “The horses are coming to YOU!” Ragtha's smile widened.
“And not just any horses, but the pleasant protagonists of the hit 2011 phenomena, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!!” Caine paused for dramatic effect.
Nine eyes widened. Kinger had wandered onto the stage and danced to no music, unbothered. Ragatha's button did not change.
“You've got to be [f*ck]ing kidding me,” Zooble muttered.
“How does this not break some sort of copyright infringement?” Pomni stared at the floor.
They both were ignored.
Bubble appeared. “Hooo, boy!! I can't wait to read my fan-fic to all of the pretty ponies!” squealed the freak.
“Bubble, we talked about this. You are not invited. Not after the last time horses were involved.” Caine sputtered.
Pomni turned to look at her peers, who had all tensed up with disturbed expressions. Ragatha put her hands over her mouth. Kinger had stopped dancing and now lay silently on the stage floor, staring at the ceiling.
Pomni made a note to never inquire about this apparent incident.
Bubble stuck out their tongue and popped themself without another word, and Caine shook himself back into reality.
“A-anyway! Does anypony have any questions before I pop open this portal so we can welcome our galloping guests?” Caine had the decency to inquire.
A yellow gloved hand shot up, the face on its body with narrowed eyes and an unimpressed glare. “Uh, yeah. What absolute-” Jax cut himself off and met eyes with Pomni. He sighed, remembering he was trying to be nicer.
“...person suggested THIS?” He finished, channeling his aggression into a loud foot stomp that caused Gangle to flinch. He shot her a look, clearly accusing the artistic weeb of subjecting them to this session of filly fraternization.
“Now, now, Jax! Don't worry about it! The happy human who gave us this idea is IN THE CELLAR where they belong! Is this answer to your satisfaction?”
Caine's excited demeanor restored itself as quickly as it had faltered. Everyone made the silent unanimous decision to move past this incident as well.
“No more questions?? Kapeesh!?” Caine abruptly bugged for a moment, eye twitching. Pomni could have sworn she saw him don a T-shirt of the pink pony for a split second mid-glitch.
Noticing his hapless accidental prisoners’ expressions of dismay, Caine paused. His programming somehow granted him a brief and rare wave of human-like emotional intelligence.
“Look everyone… I spent a long time programming these AIs to be deeply immersive! They're practically carbon copies of the originals!! I binged all nine seasons and the film! I have hot takes about this piece of media now!” Well, that explained the shirt.
“Could you all please be gracious hosts to our special guests today? PWEASE?” Caine made an upsettingly adorable face.
Facing the others once again, Pomni realized from their stubborn silences that she would have to be the representative for the group. She sighed.
“We'll give it a shot, Caine. Please, just don't subject any of us- or them- to any existential horrors this time, okay?”
“Seems as fair a deal as any!” The guy had snapped back into his usual demeanor. “Great! Here! We! Go!!”
And with that, a six-colored portal opened. What magic or mayhem would be brought to the circus with the arrival of the mane six?