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Mauvier, throughout his life, rarely thought about his wants or needs. He was groomed to be a follower of the Fell Dragon. He was trained with the sole purpose of protecting and serving the Fell Dragon’s daughter, who slept in the very temple he resided in. He never thought about friendship or bonds, let alone matters of the heart. The former Hound knew that his fate was to fight and die for Lady Veyle, atoning for all the crimes he had committed.
He was content with that and was prepared to live his remaining days atoning. That was until he experienced something strange. A feeling all too foreign to the Knight. It was like a terminal illness, but it was willing him emotionally rather than physically or mentally. He found himself unable to dedicate his thoughts to simply following Lady Veyle and the Divine Dragon.
He was cursed with the illness of having his first love. It was downright pitiful, he thought to himself. He was supposed to be a simple knight, someone to fight and die for his liege and nothing more. He cursed himself for being a failure to his code, Lady Veyle, and the Divine Dragon.
It was for that reason that he couldn’t go to his liege and the Divine Dragon about this illness. He didn’t have the right to burden Veyle or her brother with this knowledge. He couldn’t approach borderline dieties with his troubles.
It was an issue he could only approach his fellow man about. There was only one person he could go to. The only one who could seek a remedy for this troubled knight.
“Princess Ivy, I come with another secret. Would you be willing to listen?”
He didn’t waste time. He didn’t start with a greeting or a question about the princess’s well-being. After the previous battle, he asked her to meet him in a remote area of the Somniel.
“Well, then…” Ivy muttered. “I see that you’re becoming quite comfortable with revealing personal information.”
“You’re the only one I feel comfortable sharing this with.” Mauvier turned his gaze to the edge of the floating island, watching the sun descending into the horizon.
“I’m honored to receive such trust,” she chuckled. “I can lend an ear if that is what you desire.”
“I have an issue, your highness,” Mauvier turned to face her. “I’m in love with someone, but I know my feelings will never be realized.”
“...Pardon?”
Ivy blinked a few times.
“...Did I hear that correctly? You’re in love? You of all people?”
“I understand this may come as a shock,” he bowed his head. “This is my first time experiencing such feelings. It’s been difficult.”
Ivy’s lips formed a thin line as she stared at Mauvier. He couldn’t tell what was going through the Princess’s mind as they stood here. Just as he started to fear him crossing boundaries, Ivy broke the silence with a soft sigh.
“I must admit… I do not believe I’m the best individual for this sort of talk. I’m also a novice when it comes to matters of the heart.”
“I apologize. You’re welcome to forget if it makes you uncomfort𑁋.”
“Now, let’s not be hasty, my friend. You need someone to vent to, I imagine,” Ivy shook her head, kneeling on the soft grass. “Come, sit. I would prefer you vent about this to me over the Divine Dragon and Lady Veyle.”
“As you wish,” Mauvier hesitated before sitting a comfortable distance from the future queen.
“You might as well come closer. If you’re worried about Zelkov and Kagestu, they’re preoccupied.”
“Forgive me,” he nodded sheepishly before scooting closer to her.
“Now,” Ivy clapped her hands softly. “Tell me about this first love of yours. Why do you believe these feelings cannot be reciprocated?”
“I’m not a social person,” Mauvier shook his head. “I don’t go out of my way to make friends, especially with this army. I don’t believe these feelings are appropriate. I do not deserve to have my feelings reciprocated."
“We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, Mauvier,” Ivy lowered her gaze to the soft grass. “I suppose I understand your troubles, but that cannot be the only reason.”
“You’d be correct. Even if I were confident enough to express my feelings, she would never feel the same. She couldn’t.”
“Why wouldn’t she?”
Mauvier didn’t respond immediately; his eyebrows furrowed as he struggled to respond to the Princess’s words without revealing much.
“Our stations, positions, and reputations are far too different,” his lips curled downward. “I would cause only problems for her, that is, if she feels the same way.”
“A valid concern, but I believe you’re too hard on yourself,” Ivy frowned. “I’m one to talk, but we’re both individuals who have a long road of redemption ahead of us. We shouldn’t worry about dragging others down with us.”
“Even so… It’s unbecoming of me. A knight shouldn’t be in love with royalty,” Mauvier shook his head. “No, I must bury these feelings within me.”
“You know… You’re narrowing down the potential suspects the more you speak,” Ivy raised an eyebrow. “It couldn’t be Lady Veyle. You’re far more like a protective older brother.”
“...I don’t think that comparison fits, seeing as I’m the younger one, but you’re not wrong. I only wish to protect Lady Veyle. Nothing more. Nothing less. It’s different from this love I feel for this woman.”
“...So, tell me more about this woman,” Ivy folded her hands on her lap. “She must be important to you if it has you like this.”
“She accepts me as an ally and friend. It’s because of her that I’ve found a place where I belong,” Mauvier curled his right hand into a fist. “I appreciate the friendship we have. It’s why I must bury these feelings.”
“...What if she doesn’t want that? What if she feels the same way?” Ivy said with an edge to her voice. “Why should you decide whether or not it could never be?”
“But our positions… It’s…”
“We shouldn’t let old traditions get in the way of your true feelings. If you don’t tell her how you feel, you’re going to regret it in time,” Ivy reached for Mauvier’s hand, holding it tightly. “You owe it to yourself and her to be honest… Please, Mauvier.”
“I… I haven’t thought about it like that. I’ve been content with forgetting this feeling, seeing it as a curse rather than a blessing,” He glanced down at their hands.
“I’m one to talk, but I believe you shouldn’t be too hasty in your actions, Mauvier… I imagine she’d be ecstatic to hear how much you care about her.” Ivy slowly stood up, letting go of the knight’s hand. “Although she’d prefer if you said these feelings from the heart…”
“I… I see,” Mauvier chuckled. “I have a long way to go in understanding the matters of the heart.”
“Don’t we all? I’m sure you’d understand it in time, like all things,” Ivy dusted herself off. “This has been a productive conversation.”
“I imagine so…”
“Also, Mauvier?”
“Yes?”
Princess Ivy’s cheeks slowly turned red as she averted her gaze.
“Next time, I would prefer that you say it clearly instead of doing it roundabout. I’m not a fool.”
“Ah… M-My apologies, I𑁋”
“When the war ends… I want to hear you say it. If it helps… My answer would be a bit favorable if you’re honest.”
Mauvier felt the heat rise to his cheeks, a rarity for the stoic knight.
“Of course, Princess Ivy…”
“Just call me Ivy. When it’s the two of us,” she smiled softly. “Goodnight, Mauvier…”
He watched the princess bow politely and walk back to the town, leaving the knight to sit there in his own thoughts. So much went through his mind, but somehow he felt a weight had been lifted from his soul.
“Goodnight, Ivy… My first and only love,” he whispered during his solitude.