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Chapter Text

Sonic couldn’t sleep.

He hadn’t been able to for almost a week.

Every night was the same.

He would fall asleep and wake up in a reality where he saw Tails dying right in front of his eyes. Then he would wake up in a sweaty, heaving mess.

But it wasn’t always Tails he saw dying. Sometimes it was Amy, or Knuckles, or Rouge, or Big.

The nightmares were never real, Sonic knew that. But since him and his alternate dimension friends had saved the world from his own careless mistakes, they had felt so, so real.

Usually when Sonic had one of these nightmares, he had found it helpful to go and find the friend that had died in his dreams, just to comfort himself with the fact that they weren’t really dead. But this time he couldn’t do that.

This time, the dead body in his dream could actually have been dead at that very moment, and Sonic wouldn’t even know. He hadn’t seen that hedgehog since he had run in to save Sonic and his friends lives by Chaos Controlling the Paradox Prism away.

And now that Sonic sat in his bed, his entire body shaking, he replayed the image of Shadow’s dead corpse laying before him. What if he was dead right now? What if it wasn’t just a nightmare?

Logically, Sonic knew that Shadow couldn’t die, but Sonic had also believed that simply touching a colourful prism could shatter reality as he knew it.

His mind raced as he tried and failed to control his breathing. He needed to get out, needed to leave. The walls of his room had started to close in on him, the claustrophobic thoughts only making him feel more panicked.

Sonic reached towards his window, trying his best to silently unlock it as to not wake his fox brother who was most definitely asleep at this point. He slowly climbed out onto the edge, the cold night breeze rippling through his cobalt quills. He took a deep breath in, the crisp air filling his chest as he sprinted off into the distance.

He wasn’t quite sure where his legs were carrying him as he zipped around his home like he had never even left. The darkness was broken by the millions of stars that dotted the clear night sky, a sight Sonic only barely registered as he practically flew around the loop de loop.

Somehow, his night run had landed him back at the top of the mountain that once housed the Paradox Prism. Sonic didn’t mean to travel back to there, he was sure of it. He had been avoiding that place like the plague for a whole week. Why had he come back to it now?

Sonic didn’t walk inside the cave, not sure that it would help his already panicked state very much. He simply stood outside under the night sky, trying to ignore the image of Shadow’s dead body that was still burnt into his mind.

He didn’t really know why this nightmare in particular was the one that had stuck with him the most. Was it because he couldn’t go check up on Shadow like he could his other friends? Was it because he was already on edge after all of his other dreams this week? Or maybe it was something more, something that Sonic had put off confronting for longer than he would like to admit?

Because it was hard to deny that it was incredibly hard to focus whenever Shadow was around, his annoyingly pretty quills seemingly always in Sonic’s line of sight. Or the way that Shadow’s snarky comments would sometimes cause Sonic’s stomach to do somersaults. Or even the way that Shadow had so easily carried Sonic, and how easy it was to nuzzle into his fluffy, white chest fur.

Sonic shook his head, trying to get the image out of his mind or Shadow’s concerned gaze as he had glanced down at the hedgehog that had laid in his arms as the two had traversed across the Shatterverse.

Sonic wasn’t in love with Shadow. And even if he was, it was a futile idea to pursue. For starters, Sonic didn’t even know if Shadow liked guys, or anyone at all for that matter. He’d never really seen Shadow display any sort of romantic interest to anyone.

But that doesn’t even matter because there is no way that Sonic the Hedgehog has a crush on Shadow.

Sonic chuckled out loud at the whole crazy idea of it, simultaneously ignoring the images of Shadow that circulated through his mind.

“At least he’s not dead in those memories,” Sonic thought to himself, his head tilted back to admire the thousands of stars that shone in the sky. He had missed that night sky.

Crack!

Sonic whipped his head around to where the sudden noise had come from. His ears twitched as he turned to face the opening of the cave. Of course the noise had come from in there.

Sonic took a tentative step towards the entrance, trying to rationalise his mind that had already began to spiral.

“It’s probably just a falling rock, or maybe a tree branch,” Sonic whispered to himself, “Wait no, why would there be a tree branch snapping inside a cave. That’s a stupid idea Sonic!”

The argument the blue blur was having with himself was cut short by another noise, something that sounded like a few small pebbles hitting more rock.

“It’s just pebbles,” Sonic said out loud, breathing a small sigh of relief. “No one is there.”

He turned away from the cave entrance, relief washing over him that he would have no reason to get any closer to the cave. His heart rate had already started to increase at the very thought of it.

But his relief was short lived as his ears picked up a quiet grunt that came from inside the cave. Sonic’s breath hitched. Slowly, he turned back toward the cave, his own heart beating so fast, whoever, or whatever, was in the cave could probably hear it.

He stood completely still, frozen in fear. Sonic really hadn’t realised how much this place still scared him until this moment, because he could never stay completely still. He was terrified.

A small flash of red light appeared in the cave almost as quickly as it disappeared. Sonic watched in horror as a figure appeared at the entrance to the cave, still hidden by the darkness.

“Wh-who are you?” Sonic demanded, trying to stop his voice from shaking. “What do you want?”

The figure didn’t respond immediately, seemingly rendered speechless by the hedgehog that stood before them.

“Sonic?” The figure responded as they stepped fully out of the darkness of the cave, the stars illuminating them.

“Shadow!” Sonic cried, his eyes transfixed on the hedgehog that had just emerged from the cage as he rushed towards him.

Sonic pulled Shadow into a hug, his arms wrapping around Shadow’s torso as he buried his face into the side of his neck.

For a fleeting second, Sonic almost felt Shadow’s own hands brush up against his back, before quickly pulling away.

“What is all of this hedgehog?” Shadow asked, his voice alarmed by the sudden contact.

Sonic quickly pulled away as well, trying furiously to hide the blush that had spread across his cheeks.

“You’re here!” Sonic exclaimed, a small, exasperated laugh escaping him, “You’re actually here!”

“Of course I’m here, hedgehog. Where else would I be?” Shadow responded sarcastically, still seemingly trying to desperately work out what had gotten into Sonic since their return from the Shatter Space.

“Sh- Shadow,” Sonic started, looking incredulously at the hedgehog that stood in front of him for having such an unconcerned demeanour about the whole ordeal. “You’ve been missing for a whole week. I had no idea where you were. I thought you were dead!”

Shadow simply blinked at him; an unreadable expression crossed his face.

“It’s been a week,” he said in a small voice that sounded out of place for the ebony hedgehog.

“Yes!” Sonic exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air, “I’ve been waiting an entire week to see if you were even still alive and you come back like nothing even happened!”

“I- I had no idea,” Shadow whispered, looking anywhere but at Sonic.

Shadow pushed pass Sonic, making his way towards the edge of the mountain, his gaze taking in the scenery that both hedgehogs had assumed they may never lay eyes upon again. Sonic’s stare followed Shadow’s movement, taking in the sight of the hedgehog he thought he may never see again.

Sonic made his way to where Shadow stood, finally tearing his eyes away from him as he moved up towards Shadow’s side.

“What do you mean you had no idea?” Sonic asked as he started out over the Green Hill that was cloaked in the darkness of night.

He could hear Shadow let out a sigh. Except it didn’t sound like the usual sighs the hedgehog let out when in the presence of Sonic. This sigh almost sounded like a mixture of relief and sadness before Shadow answered Sonic’s question.

“What I mean is that while I was travelling around to find a place to keep the Paradox Prism safe, I didn’t really get the chance to keep track of the days I was gone. I thought it had only been a couple of days…”

Shadow seemed to become lost in thought toward the end of his explanation, trailing off as he turned his head towards the sky. Sonic followed suit, maintaining the silence that settled over the two, a task that was by no means easy for him.

Shadow seemed completely transfixed by the stars, his red eyes reflecting the dazzling pin pricks of light that dotted the sky.

“Gorgeous,” Sonic thought before quickly shaking the idea from his head.

He didn’t think Shadow was gorgeous, or pretty, or handsome in the slightest. He was clearly very tired and probably needed to go back to bed. But the idea of leaving Shadow made his chest ache for some reason. So, Sonic opted to tear his eyes away from the ebony hedgehog, trying to wipe the image of him from his mind.

“So, the Paradox Prism? It’s safe?” Sonic questioned, unable to keep himself from talking any longer.

“Yes,” was Shadow’s only reply, his eyes still gazing toward the sky.

“Where’d you hide it?” Sonic asked again, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

Shadow let out a huff in response, shaking his head as he turned to face Sonic in a way that made the blue hedgehog’s brain go into overdrive.

“As if I’d tell you, hedgehog.”

Sonic gave a nervous chuckle, self consciously rubbing his forearm as he turned away from Shadow.

“Yeah, guess that makes sense,” Sonic replied, a hint of sadness and guilt seeping into his words.

Why would Shadow tell him where the Paradox Prism was anyway? It was Sonic who had gotten them both into this mess in the first place, who’s to say he wouldn’t do it again. Sonic stood with his back to Shadow, waiting for the same thought’s he was thinking to come out of the other hedgehog’s mouth. But his predictions were wrong, because instead, Sonic felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder, causing a shiver to run down his spine.

Sonic whipped his head around to where a wide-eyed Shadow stared perplexedly at the hand that rested on Sonic’s shoulder, as if it had moved there on its own accord. Sonic didn’t say a word, worried that if he did, he would scare Shadow and he would take his hand away, or worse, simply run off. So, Sonic waited, a task that never did come easy to him.

Sonic watched and waited as a thousand tiny micro expressions crossed Shadow’s face, many of them Sonic was unable to read. Both hedgehogs now stood facing each other, Shadow’s hand till firmly placed on Sonic’s shoulder. He watched Shadow take a deep breath in before he spoke again.

“Don’t blame yourself for what happened, Sonic,” Shadow said in a hushed tone, as if he didn’t want even the emptiness of the night to hear any of his vulnerabilities. “You had no idea that would happen if you touched the prism and either way, you fixed it all. You saved everyone.”

This time, Sonic stayed silent not on his own accord, now rendered speechless by Shadow’s words and replaying the sound of Shadow’s voice saying his name. He was still keenly away of the fact Shadow’s hand still rested on his shoulder.

“You made a mistake hedgehog, a catastrophic mistake to be fair,” Shadow continued, his gaze every so often drifting towards Sonic’s before darting away again. “But you continued to fight, despite everything. You saved both your world and so many others. Don’t blame yourself for that, Sonic.”

Sonic felt like he was treading on eggshells, worried that saying anything would cause Shadow to curl back up into his shell and run away. He didn’t want that. He wanted Shadow to keep talking and keep the weight of his hand on Sonic’s shoulder.

“So, you don’t hate me?” Sonic’s voice was barely above a whisper. He knew he was playing dangerously now.

“Of course not,” Shadow replied, giving Sonic’s shoulder a squeeze that sent shivers down his spine.

“You should,” Sonic continued, his voice still a whisper, “after everything I’ve done, you should hate me. I thought you did.”

Shadow’s hand fell from Sonic’s shoulder, much to the cobalt hedgehog’s dismay. However, that dismay very quickly turned into pure panic when he felt his gloved fingers become intertwined with another’s.

Shadow’s gaze bore into Sonic’s, his red eyes steely, but softer than usual. Sonic couldn’t focus, he’s feet feeling as if they weren’t even touching the ground anymore. What in Chaos was happing?

“I never hated you Sonic,” Shadow breathed, his voice shaky as he spoke.

Sonic looked down to where the two hedgehog’s hands were holding each other. Maybe he was still dreaming? That would make a lot more sense than whatever was happening right now.

“You know,” Shadow started, his gaze falling to the fall to avoid Sonic’s, “I didn’t think you would make it.”

“What do you mean?” Sonic asked, trying to ignore how fast his heart was beating. He was very sure Shadow could hear it now.

“I mean when we were bringing you back to Green Hill,” Shadow continued, “At the end, I could barely even feel you anymore. It was like you weren’t even there.”

Shadow’s voice was smaller than Sonic had ever heard it. It was almost as if he cared about Sonic’s wellbeing. And a little voice in the back of Sonic’s mind could only hope that maybe he actually did.

“Well, I made it!” Sonic exclaimed, giving Shadow’s hand a gentle squeeze, “Thanks to you, I might add.”

Shadow let out a noise that could have almost been mistaken for a laugh if Sonic didn’t know him better. Despite the fact that the almost-laugh was probably done at Sonic’s expense, he couldn’t help but feel a small smile cross his face.

There was no denying it any longer, Sonic had to admit that Shadow looked very beautiful under the night sky. That meant nothing though, there was nothing wrong with simply observing and stating facts. And all those other feelings that Sonic was currently experiencing could be easily explained, he just hadn’t figured out a logical explanation just yet.

“I didn’t want to lose you, Sonic” Shadow said, making it increasingly more difficult for Sonic to come up with an explanation for his feelings that were becoming increasingly harder to regulate.

“Don’t worry, Shads. You aren’t getting rid of me anytime soon.”

Sonic felt his hand that wasn’t clasped in Shadow’s, cup the ebony hedgehog’s cheek. It was a risky move, but Sonic couldn’t even think straight. He took it as a good sign when Shadow didn’t pull away, simply giving Sonic a wide-eyed stare as the he angled Shadow’s head upwards to meet his gaze.

Nothing felt real, this all had to be a dream. If it wasn’t, Shadow would have pulled away. If it wasn’t a dream, Sonic would have stopped himself. But he didn’t because he didn’t even think he could.

Sonic’s thumb caressed Shadow’s cheek, pulling the hedgehog towards him, his lips colliding with Shadows. It was electric, the way Sonic’s lips fit with Shadow’s as he kissed the hedgehog like he had never kissed anyone else before.

Sonic felt Shadow’s hand grab his waist, pulling him in closer to the kiss, his nails digging into his fur through his thick, white gloves. Shadow’s sharp teeth nicked Sonic’s bottom lip, causing Sonic to let out a small sigh despite the taste of blood in his mouth.

Sonic never wanted it to end, the feeling of Shadow’s lips on his. He never really knew how much he wanted this, but it seemed so obvious now. His hand moved down from Shadow’s cheek, running down his neck and ending up tangled in the hedgehog’s white chest fur. How had he never realised this is what he wanted all along?

Shadow continued to try and pull Sonic closer, despite the fact their bodies were almost completely touching. He seemed ravenous, his tongue flicking against Sonic’s bottom lip, letting out a small noise as Sonic tightened his grip on Shadow’s white fur. If this was a dream, Sonic decided he never wanted to wake up.

All of a sudden, Shadow pulled away. His eyes were wild and unfocused with his face flushed and lips swollen from kissing the hedgehog he had so abruptly withdrew from. He looked at Sonic with an expression that Sonic had never seen on the others face before; fear.

“Shadow?” Sonic asked, squeezing the other hedgehog’s hand that was still firmly in his hand.

Shadow quickly pulled away, dropping Sonic’s hand like it was made of hot coals. He looked back up at Sonic, panic filling his eyes.

“Shadow-” Sonic began, taking a step towards the ebony hedgehog.

At this, Shadow turned a ran, gliding away on his skates.

“Shadow, wait!” Sonic cried but it was too late.

Sonic could only see a red blur zip across the island and disappear out of sight. He was all alone now, just like before.

“Come back,” he whispered, holding back the tears that had started to cloud up his emerald eyes.

But it was too late. He stood alone on the edge of the mountain underneath a perfect sky, his lip still bleeding where Shadow had been only seconds earlier. Sonic bought his fingers up towards his lips, touching where Shadow’s lips had left them. What he would give to go back, to feel the other hedgehog’s mouth on his for only a little while longer.

But it was no use.

Shadow was gone.

Chapter Text

Sonic didn’t think he’d ever run so much.

He ran more laps around the island than any battle with Eggman had ever entailed.

He couldn’t stop, because he worried if he did, he may never be able to move again. Running had always helped him process his emotions, but it had also helped to supress them. Right now, he needed to supress everything.

Sonic didn’t know how much time had passed, the only indicator of how long it had been being the sun that was now well above the horizon line. Shadow had just run off. He had just left, as if nothing had even happened. But something had happened. Too much had happened.

Sonic didn’t want to believe it was real, any of it. He wished he could just wake up in his bed, making this entire night just a dream. But it wasn’t a dream, to early morning breeze that rippled through his fur and quills was enough to tell him that much.

He practically collapsed onto the ground as he reached some rarely explored corner of Green Hill. Why had he kissed Shadow? How stupid was he? As if Shadow would have any other reaction other than running away, Sonic had pushed it too far.

But the question that mainly played on Sonic’s mind was why had Shadow kissed him back? For a while, Sonic believed he had made that entire part up but there was no mistaking the ghost of Shadow’s fingers digging into his waist and the frankly adorable noises that had escaped the other hedgehog’s lips as they were pressed against Sonic’s. It was absolute torture reliving it all, but at the same time, it was all Sonic wanted to do.

Sonic sat and watched as the sun made its way through the sky, solidifying the fact it was finally day. The memories of last night were long forgotten and Sonic needed to move on. Whether Shadow would ever even look at him again couldn’t be his main focus now, Sonic needed to get back to his home. Tails was definitely awake by now and may start to worry if Sonic wasn’t there.

Sonic zipped back across the island, feeling as though he left a part of himself behind as he reached the front door of his home. With a deep breath, he turned the doorknob and walked inside.

“Sonic!”

He felt arms wrap around his torso and bright blue eyes stare up into his. Tails rarely hugged Sonic, but when he did, it was always bone-crushing.

“Hey buddy,” Sonic greeted, returning the young foxes hug, “What’s gotten into you?”

Tails quickly extracted himself from the hug, seemingly self-conscious about his sudden display of affection.

“I- I was worried about you,” Tails started, looking towards the ground to avoid Sonic’s gaze, “I mean, after everything that you told me about, you know, with the Paradox Prism and everything, well I thought that something happened to you…”

Tails trailed off, sniffling slightly. Sonic rarely saw his brother get so worked up over Sonic’s occasional disappearances. Apparently, his retellings of all of the traumatic events both him and Shadow went through seemed to impact that fox more than he had thought.

 “Awww kid,” Sonic soothed, crouching down slightly to Tails’ height, “Sorry for scaring you. I just went on a little run.”

“Just a little run?” another voice spoke up from behind Tails.

Sonic stood up to see who stood there and stopped both Amy and Knuckles. Great, more people he would have to confront after the night he had just had.

“Oh, hey guys!” Sonic exclaimed, plastering a fake smile onto his face, “didn’t see you there!”

Knuckles only huffed in response as Amy approached Sonic with a look on her face that almost made him cower. Amy was very scary when she wanted to be.

“So, Sonic,” Amy started, a dangerous edge to her voice, “care to explain to all of us, especially Tails, why you went for an early morning run without leaving any sort of note or indicator of your safety after the events that you told us about?”

Oh, Sonic was in so much trouble.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Sonic started, raising his hands up in surrender, “I should have left a note. I didn’t realise it would worry you all so much.”

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Amy practically screamed, causing Sonic to wince.

He didn’t know what time it was, but he was sure he was about to find out.

“It is 11:15 in the morning!” Amy cried throwing her hands into the air, “That’s not an early morning run! That’s almost 5 hours!”

11:15? Had he really been gone for that long.

“Tails called both of us about an hour ago, worried sick about where you were,” Knuckles chimed in, “what were you thinking, hedgehog?”

Could this day really get any worse?

“Guys, I am really really sorry,” Sonic pleaded, directing his words towards Tails in particular, “I really had no idea what time it was. I just needed to clear my head.”

He wasn’t completely lying, he did really need to clear his head, but Sonic could tell that Amy saw right through him.

“You really expect any of us to believe that Sonic?” she questioned, not really expecting an answer, “you do know Tails installed cameras around your house, right?”

Oh right, the cameras. How was he supposed to get out of this one?

“I checked the cameras when I woke up and realised you weren’t there,” Tails said, fidgeting with his namesakes, “you left the house at 1am and didn’t come back until right now.”

Sonic felt as if he was floating again, but not in the same magical way as when Shadow had kissed him. His heart began to race, a pounding drum that rang in his ears. He felt incredibly faint all of a sudden, all of last nights emotions flooding back far too quickly. He could only just make out the words that his friends spoke and the feeling of Knuckles leading him towards the couch.

He collapsed onto the couch, his vision spinning despite being completely stationary. They would find out. They would all find out what happened if they knew he left the house in the early hours of the morning. Sonic would really have to confront the truth.

“Sonic!”

Amy’s voice brought his out of his downward spiral. He turned to face her, blinking wearily as the room still spun but at a much slower pace.

“Are you alright, Sonic?” Tails asked, sitting next to Sonic on the couch with concern written all over his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sonic lied, his voice raspy and barely audible

“You look like you’re about to pass out,” Amy continued, hovering over Sonic with Knuckles by her side.

“I’m alight,” Sonic repeated, the lie tasting bitter in his mouth.

He wasn’t ok. He didn’t know if he ever could be ok again. The very though of Shadow made him want to burst into tears.

“What happened, hedgehog?” Knuckles asked, his voice still stern but definitely softer than before.

Sonic rarely saw Knuckles become concerned about him, the echidna was very good at hiding it, so the fact Knuckles looked worried was not a good sign on Sonic’s behalf.

“Nothing happened, I promise I’m fine,” Sonic answered, trying to sound way more confident than he really felt.

“You don’t seem fine,” Tails countered, the little fox scanning Sonic’s face like he was one of his robots who had malfunctioned.

“Tails is right,” Amy added, “you look very pale and you’re also shaking.”

Sonic hadn’t even realised but Amy was right. He wrung his hands together, trying to stop them from shaking so much but it was no use. Every single thought led back to Shadow’s lips on his. It was so cruel, but Sonic would give anything to go back to that moment.

“Sonic, what happened?” Amy asked this time, a steely look of concern in her eyes.

Sonic had never been good at lying, let alone lying about something like this. It was no use. They would find out eventually. It was better to come from him, rather than rumours from someone else, or worse, Shadow himself.

“Last night, Shadow came back,” Sonic started, already feeling his voice start to break, “I hadn’t meant to run into him, it just sort of happened.”

He looked up at his friends faces before taking a deep breath to continue.

“I had a bad dream and needed some fresh air, so I went for a run…”

Sonic didn’t know if he could continue, unable to even think straight as he felt Shadow’s lips caress his once more.

“Then what happened?” Amy prompted, noticing that Sonic was starting to slip away again.

“Well, we talked for a bit,” Sonic continued reluctantly, “and then, well, um, then…”

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do this. Sonic felt tears form in the corners of his eyes as he tried to blink them away. Shadow’s mouth was on his, hungry for his taste, hungry for him. He felt a singular tear fall from his eye. He knew all of his friends were watching but he didn’t care anymore.

“I messed up,” Sonic choked out, “I messed up real bad.”

“What do you mean?” Tails asked, shifting closer to Sonic as if to protect him from his own thoughts.

Sonic felt nauseous, completely sick to his stomach. Had he really done that? Why did he do that? He really had messed up everything.

“Sonic?” Amy repeated, once again pulling him from his mind prison, “What happened.”

She sounded so concerned. So did Tails and Knuckles. Was he really going to tell them? Well, he didn’t really have another choice.

“Just breathe,” Sonic told himself, steadying his breathing as he held his gaze to the floor.

“I kissed him,”

The room went silent. Sonic’s voice was barely above a whisper, maybe they just hadn’t heard him? Oh, but they had. They most definitely had. The shocked looks on all of their faces told him so.

“I kissed him,” Sonic repeated, his voice louder now as tears continued to trace lines across his cheeks, “I actually kissed him.”

The silence stretched on, all of Sonic’s friends completely unsure how to respond. It was Amy who broke the silence first.

“Did it really go that badly?” she asked, he voice full of caution.

“No! That’s the thing!” Sonic exclaimed, pushing himself up from the couch, “It was amazing and magical, and he kissed me back and it was perfect!”

Sonic paced the length of the living room, avoiding his friends stares of shock and confusion.

“It was so perfect,” Sonic repeated, his voice constricted with emotion, “and then he just ran away.”

Sonic slumped against the wall of his house, trying to stop completely breaking down in front of everyone.

“Oh, Sonic,” Amy spoke, her voice filled with as much emotion as Sonic’s was.

She swiftly moved towards the hedgehog, wrapping him up in her arms. Sonic clung to her, burying his face in her shoulder as he let out sobs that shook his whole body.

“I don’t know why I did it Amy,” Sonic sobbed into her shoulder, “I don’t know why I did it.”

“It’s ok Sonic,” Amy soothed, holding Sonic tightly in her arms, “It’s ok, we’re here.”

The two stayed like that for a little while, before another pair of arms wrapped around Sonic as well. Tails buried his face into Sonic’s side, his small arms grounding Sonic. Even Knuckles moved towards the group, pulling all of them into a hug that would have been way too tight for Sonic in any other situation.

After what could have been seconds, minutes, or even hours, the group pulled apart, and Sonic proceeded to dry the last of his tears.

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” Sonic said, a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice, “Why would I do something like that?”

“You did it because you clearly have feeling for him, Sonic,” Amy reasoned with logic that only made Sonic feel more sick.

“You said he kissed you back,” Tails commented, “he wouldn’t do that unless he enjoyed it at least a little.”

Sonic just grumbled in response. He had been trying to work out the exact same thing since Shadow had run off into the distance.

“I’d be happy to punch him for you, if you want?” Knuckles offered.

Sonic might have honestly taken him up on that offer if Amy hadn’t interjected.

“Do not go beating up Shadow just yet,” Amy commanded, “I think it would be best if Sonic goes to talk to him first.”

Sonic simply groaned, burning his face in his hands. That was the last thing he wanted to go do.

“It’s not a bad idea,” Tails encouraged, “at least then you two can get on the same page.”

“Tails I’m gonna be honest with you but I don’t think me and Shadow are even in the same library,” Sonic replied, pressing his fingers into his temples, feeling a pounding headache starting to develop.

“Would it hurt to try?” Amy asked.

Sonic could tell she was treading cautiously, not wanted to send Sonic into another panicked state.

“I wouldn’t even know where to find him!” Sonic exclaimed, “the guy is very hard to find if he doesn’t want to be found.”

“I know,” Amy agreed, tentatively reaching a hand up to place on Sonic’s shoulder. A horrible part of his brain remembered Shadow doing the same thing. “But it’s worth a try, isn’t it.”

Sonic didn’t answer. He knew Amy was right. But he also knew that Shadow was the most difficult hedgehog to communicate with. Not only that, but Sonic was also scared of having his heart broken once again. He didn’t really know how much more he could take.

“Fine,” Sonic reluctantly conceded, “but if he breaks my heart again, then Knuckles is allowed to beat him up.”

“Yes!” Knuckled exclaimed, punching a fist into the air.

“Of course,” Amy continued, a cold look crossing her face, “but it won’t be only Knuckles who get a hit in on him.”

Sonic gave a weak laugh in response, his head still spinning. He couldn’t actually confront Shadow about any of this, could he? It would only end up worse for him than it already had.

“Thanks guys,” Sonic spoke, his voice still shakier than he would have liked, “I really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Amy assured, giving Sonic a small smile, “we’re always here for you, Sonic.”

Sonic just nodded in response, failing to meet his friend’s kind gaze.

“Just don’t go running off without leaving a note again,” Knuckles added, quickly giving Tails a concerned glance.

“I won’t,” Sonic promised, ruffling Tails’ hair gently in a way that usually caused the young fox to lurch away.

Sonic was frantically grasping at any opportunity to downplay the situation, trying desperately to bring back a sense of normality to his shattered world.

Amy and Knuckles left soon after that and Tails left to go finish up some projects in his workshop, leaving Sonic alone. He wasn’t mad at this, he needed space.

Sonic stood in the bathroom, bracing himself with the sink as he started into the mirror before him. He gently brushed his gloved finger against his bottom lip, wincing as it passed over the small cut that Shadow’s teeth had left. A little reminder, a farewell gift, before his rapid departure.

“I’m sorry, Shadow,” Sonic whispered, his eyes brimming with tears once more, “I didn’t mean to mess things up. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”

The irony was not lost on Sonic. He had shattered his reality due to his impulsive decisions and Shadow had helped him piece it back together. Now it was Shadow’s turn to shatter his reality, but of course it was still due to Sonic’s impulsivity.

He would speak to Shadow. He didn’t know when, but he would. He had to make this right.

Not for him, but for Shadow.

All of this was for Shadow.

Chapter Text

Shadow lay in the bed of his empty apartment in complete darkness.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It didn’t matter though. It wasn’t as if he needed to eat, or drink, or even sleep.

He was the ultimate lifeform after all.

“Some ultimate lifeform you’ve become,” whispered a small voice in the back of Shadow’s mind.

Shadow simply groaned in response, burying his face into his pillow to try and drown out everything.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. It wasn’t supposed to come to this. He had been doing so well, hiding everything so perfectly. And then that stupid blue hedgehog had to come along and ruin everything that Shadow had worked so hard to maintain.

Shadow let out a scream of rage, tossing his pillow across the room with enough force to make a surprising loud thump as it hit the wall.

That insolent hedgehog! Did he have any idea what he was doing? Did he have any idea what he was getting himself into?

Surely, he couldn’t know, not after all of the precautions Shadow had taken. Shadow was supposed to be good at hiding his feelings. He wasn’t even supposed to feel. He didn’t feel!

When those scientists had created him, surely they wouldn’t have made him feel like this. An ultimate lifeform shouldn’t be able to feel such debilitating emotions.

Shadow didn’t have emotions, he didn’t feel anything! And he certainly didn’t feel anything towards that stupid hedgehog!

He let out another anguished cry as an image of blue quills flashed through his mind. Shadow fell back onto his bed, his gaze fixated on the ceiling.

“I’m the ultimate lifeform,” Shadow whispered to himself, “I don’t feel love.”

It was a lie, and he knew it. He had felt love before but look where that had led him.

And it wasn’t as if Shadow loved Sonic. Sonic was annoying and impulsive and seemed to never stop talking. Even if Shadow could ever love someone again, why would it be Sonic?

Why Sonic, of all people?

Shadow slowly closed his eyes, letting his mind transport him back to that moment on the mountain. He could feel Sonic’s lips pressed against his and he could feel himself fall into the other hedgehog. He hated how easily he unraveled, how easily Sonic had drawn soft sighs out of the ebony hedgehog. It disgusted him, and yet it was all he could think about.

Shadow hated himself for making it end, for turning and running away. But what else was he supposed to do? Sonic didn’t know what he was doing, he had no idea what he was getting himself into. This was just another one of his impulsive decisions that Shadow had become so accustomed to.

It was stupid for Shadow to believe that Sonic wanted to kiss him, wanted to hold him like that. Sonic didn’t love Shadow because Shadow wasn’t a thing to be loved. He didn’t deserve it, not after everything he had done.

“He deserves better,” Shadow whispered again, rationalising with his own thoughts once again.

“What if I don’t want him to have better?” an annoying voice in his head replied.

No, Sonic deserved better. Shadow didn’t deserve him. That was the end of that. It didn’t matter what Shadow wanted, there was no going back on his decision.

He furiously opened his eyes, desperate to get rid of the images of Sonic that danced behind his eyes. Shadow didn’t deserve Sonic; there was no other way to put it. Shadow did the right thing in the long run. Hopefully, Sonic would never speak to him again and go find someone else, someone who was much better for him.

Someone who wasn’t Shadow.

A sharp knock on his front door snapped Shadow’s attention back to reality. He sat up quickly from his bed staying completely silent, hoping whoever had knocked would think no one was home and just leave.

Another knock, a lot more aggressive this time.

Shadow stifled a groan as he fell back in his bed. He was not opening that door for anyone.

The knocking stopped soon after that, much to Shadow’s relief. He closed his eyes once more, tired of existing and tired of thinking. That was until, he heard his bedroom door being swung open with much more force than needed.

“Wh- what?” Shadow gasped, his eyes flying open as he abruptly sat up before being blinded by the overhead lights being flipped on.

He hissed in response as the intruder opened, they mouth and let loose a flurry of hostile curse words.

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? YOU PIECE OF SHIT! HOW COULD YOU?”

Shadow blinked in surprise, still dazed by his now well-lit room. As his eyes adjusted, he took in the intruder and his heart dropped.

“Rouge?”

The bat was furious, angrier than Shadow had ever seen her as she stormed into his bedroom, waving her arms around as she hurled more and more insults at him.

“HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT SHADOW?” Rouge yelled, her usually turquoise eyes now turning a dark, dangerous blue.

“How did you get into my house?” was Shadow’s only response, still incredibly disorientated.

“I BROKE IN OF COURSE!” Rouge screamed, moving dangerously close to Shadow, “YOU’VE BEEN GONE FOR OVER A WEEK NOW AND HAVE NOT COME TO SEE ME ONCE AND THE ONLY THING I’VE HEARD ABOUT YOU THIS ENTIRE TIME, OTHER THAN YOUR LITTLE TRIP TO ALTERNATE REALITIES, WAS YOU’RE LITTLE NIGHTTIME RENDEZVOUS!”

Oh, so she knew.

“Rouge please, just calm down for a second,” Shadow pleaded.

He let out a small yelp as Rouge grabbed his white chest fur, yanking his up from his bed.

“You have a lot of explaining to do Mister,” Rouge growled, tightening her grip to make Shadow cry out in pain, “Why did I go to see my good friend Sonic today just to have him tell me that he’s not feeling well because you broke his heart?!”

“Rouge, please just let go!” Shadow begged.

Realistically, he could have easily fought her off, but Shadow was far to scared to see what reaction that sort of violence Rouge would have.

Rouge practically dropped him onto the floor, her face contorted with rage as she continued her rampage.

“I can’t believe you! He kissed you and you just ran away!” Rouge cried.

“Rouge I can explain!” Shadow interjected from the floor, pushing himself up and brushing himself off.

“Oh, you better start!” Rouge roared, “you better tell me why you broke Sonic’s heart after all of these years of practically fawning after him!”

She had known that as well? Was it really that obvious?

Rouge seemed to be able to read his thoughts because she just laughed in response, “Don’t give me that look, Shadow. Of course I knew! It was so obvious! And you just threw it all away!”

“He didn’t know what he was doing,” Shadow mumbled, avoiding Rouge’s furious glare.

Shadow was right, Sonic didn’t know what he was doing. But Rouge didn’t like that reply at all.

“Is that all you have to say?” Rouge cried, “Sonic has barely left the house since you two kissed. He could barely even tell me what happened without crying. He’s heartbroken!”

Shadow could feel tears burning behind his own eyes. He wasn’t going to cry, he never cried.

“And by the looks of things,” Rouge continued, pacing back and forth around Shadow’s bedroom, “you are as well.”

Shadow didn’t reply. He knew whatever he said, Rouge would be able to tell if he was lying. It was easier just to stay silent.

“Why would you do that, Shadow,” Rouge repeated, her voice more desperate than angry now, “You loved him, why would you just run away.”

“I don’t love him,” Shadow snapped back.

The lie tasted bitter in his mouth. He wasn’t supposed to love, that wasn’t what he was designed to do. So how had it all come to this? How had Shadow the hedgehog fallen in love?

“You know that’s not true,” Rouge responded.

She was right, she usually was.

“Fine!” Shadow shouted, his blood boiling in his veins, “You want to know why I did it? I did it because he deserves better, Rouge! This is Sonic we are talking about, the Hero of Mobius! I’m a weapon, a mistake! What makes you think that I deserve to be loved by anyone like him? I ran away to protect him!”

He collapsed onto his bed, sitting up straight and gripping onto the edge. He needed to calm down, he couldn’t cry. Shadow the Hedgehog does not cry.

He felt the mattress dip slightly as Rouge sat down next to him. She had seemingly calmed down quite a bit since her outburst.

“Did you run away to protect him, or to protect yourself?” Rouge asked, her voice a lot softer than it had been before.

Shadow wanted to lie, he really did. But what was the point, Rouge would just see straight through it. So, for the first time in a long time, he didn’t.

“I don’t know,” Shadow replied honestly, “I don’t know Rouge.”

Shadow could feel his vision becoming blurry through a haze of tears. He wasn’t going to cry.

“Try to explain,” Rouge prompted.

Somehow, her words seemed to break down all of Shadow’s walls.

“I’m scared, Rouge,” Shadow started, his voice smaller than usual, “I’m scared to love someone again. I’m bad news. Every person I love only ends up getting hurt. I don’t want Sonic to get hurt. I can’t let him love me, I just can’t.”

Shadow could see Rouges gaze on him out of the corner of his eye. She didn’t say anything, just waited for him to speak more.

“I don’t want to lose him,” Shadow continued, his voice thick with emotion, “I watched him almost die in my arms, Rouge. I was terrified. Sonic doesn’t understand how scary that is. It’s just easier to push him away, rather than get close to him again.”

Shadow was blinking rapidly now, desperately trying to stop the tears from falling. He knew Rouge could tell he was about to cry but he wouldn’t let his emotions control him like that. He was the ultimate lifeform! He wasn’t supposed to show any emotions.

But it was getting more and more difficult as time went on.

“I can’t lose him,” Shadow choked out, “I can’t watch him die like that again.”

There was an unspoken meaning behind Shadow’s words that both him and Rouge understood. He didn’t want Sonic to meet the same cruel fate of Maria, the first and only person he had ever allowed himself to love.

He felt Rouges arms pull him into a hug, her silk gloves brushing gently against his fur. Shadow fell into the hug easier than an ultimate lifeform should have. Silent tears fell from his eyes and onto Rouge’s shoulder as she held him there, letting him weep into her arms.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” Shadow whispered, “I was so scared and all I could think to do was run.”

Rouge continued to hold him as he cried. She wasn’t put off at all, despite this being one of the only times she had ever seen him cry. When Shadow finally pulled away, he caught Rouge hastily drying her own eyes.

“Sonic really cares about you, hun,” Rouge began, taking Shadow’s hands in her own. “Don’t you think it’s only fair to give him a chance, to give yourself a chance?”

Shadow thought about Rouge’s words. It made sense in theory, but she couldn’t possibly understand just how terrified Shadow was of losing another person he loved. To be honest, he didn’t really know if he would be able to go through all of the pain all over again.

“Sonic is strong, you know that,” Rouge reassured, “Besides, I can tell you would both do just about anything for the other.”

“He’s just so nice. Everyone loves him, Rouge,” Shadow whispered, “He deserves to be with someone who is just as kind, someone who is just as loved.”

Rouge gave Shadow’s hands a gentle squeeze. She was the only person that Shadow would allow to touch him like this, the only person, besides maybe Sonic. He kicked himself internally for thinking such a thing.

“Shadow,” Rouge whispered back, “I don’t think he cares.”

“He should care,” Shadow snapped back, “He’s a hero, he has a reputation to uphold.”

Rouge let out a small sigh, before pulling Shadow up from the bed and leading him by the hand, practically dragged him out of his room.

“Where are you taking me?” Shadow demanded, although he allowed himself to be pulled along.

“You need to eat,” Rouge said simply, continuing to pull him towards the small kitchen in his apartment.

Shadow scoffed at her reasoning. He was the Ultimate Lifeform, he didn’t need to eat. Rouge seemed to register his response before Shadow even said anything because she interrupted his train of thought before he could snap at her.

“I know technically you don’t have to eat,” Rouge explained, rolling her eyes at the disgruntled look on the ebony hedgehog’s face, “but it can’t hurt to at least eat a little something.”

She did have a point, although Shadow would never admit it. Even though he didn’t need to eat, he always did get irritable when he went for extended periods of time without food or water.

Rouge had now dropped his hand to rummage around in his fridge that had often remained largely unused. Most of the food in there wasn’t the best quality anymore, due to the fact that no one had eaten out of it for over a week. The only reason it had food inside it in the first place was because Rouge would stock it up herself so she could raid it whenever she came to visit.

It was at that point, when Shadow was watching Rouge throw an old bag of grapes that she had probably stolen from Knuckles into the bin, that he realised how much he had missed her. Of course, he had only been gone a week for her, but Shadow had spent much longer without her.

He couldn’t deny the way his heart had ached when he had seen all of the alternate Rouges together. Even when he had gotten back to his dimension, he had still put his own selfish needs before hers and simply hidden away from the world. Rouge had even seen Sonic before she had been able to see Shadow.

“You don’t have to do that,” Shadow spoke up, suddenly very guilty for how selfish he had been acting.

“Oh no, I’m cleaning out your fridge cause I want to put more stuff in there for me,” Rouge chuckled, before gesturing to one of the upper cabinets in the kitchen, “There should be some coffee beans in there if I remember correctly.”

Shadow reached up towards the cabinet to find that Rouge was indeed correct. He continued to watch Rouge finish up cleaning out his now practically empty fridge as he started to eat his coffee beans. Rouge was right, just because he didn’t need to eat, didn’t mean he shouldn’t.

“So,” Rouge started, slamming the fridge door shut, “what are you going to do about your feelings for Sonic.”

Shadow simply continued to eat his coffee beans, truly unsure on how to answer Rouge’s question. He really had no idea. He knew that it was wrong to want Sonic, but Shadow also couldn’t deny his feelings towards the other hedgehog.

“I don’t know,” was Shadow’s response.

Rouge gave him a sad smile, before walking towards the connecting living room to tidy up a mess that Shadow could vaguely recall making the night of that dreaded kiss. Warmth bloomed in his chest with gratitude towards the bat as she began to help clean up again, so much so that Shadow put down his coffee beans to help her, much to Rouge’s surprise.

“Look hon,” Rouge started, sweeping up shards of broken glass that littered the floor, “The decision is yours to make, there is only so much convincing I can do. But nothing good has ever come to you from pushing people away.”

Shadow knew exactly what she meant, and once again she was right. He couldn’t keep pushing people away. No matter how hard it was to open up, it had always been harder for him to be completely alone.

“Thank you, Rouge,” Shadow acknowledged, “I mean it. Thank you for everything.”

Rouge locked eyes with the hedgehog in surprise, before her face melted into a warm smile. She walked towards him, wrapping him in another hug. Shadow returned it once again.

“It’s no problem at all,” Rouge replied, “You’re my friend, it’s my job to knock some sense into you when you need it.”

Shadow gave a small sigh as he pulled away from Rouge, still maintaining eye contact.

“I missed you, Shadow,” Rouge said, her eyes bright once again.

Shadow had noted that her eyes had not turned back into their usual turquoise. The realisation made the corners of his mouth twitch.

“I missed you too, Rouge,” he replied.

Shadow really had missed Rouge. He desperately needed someone to keep him in check. And he desperately needed a friend. Maybe he would go find Sonic, apologies and explain himself. Maybe he would be ok, because if all else failed, he would have Rouge. That thought alone brought him great comfort.

He would need to confront Sonic eventually. Even if the hedgehog didn’t understand what he was getting himself into by kissing Shadow, he also couldn’t let Sonic mope around in what Rouge had called “heartbreak”.

He would talk to Sonic, not for his benefit, but for Sonic’s.

Sonic deserved to be happy, either with or without Shadow.

Chapter Text

The wind rushed past Sonic as the sun shone down onto his face in the first time in days.

This was the first time since that night with Shadow that Sonic had even left his house. Usually, five days inside would drive Sonic absolutely crazy, but really, he had dreaded nothing more than leaving the safety of his house.

Now, as he ran through Green Hill once more, an ever-growing dread seemed to seep into his brain, his heart rate much faster than it usually was when he ran.

Five days.

It had given the hedgehog enough time to think about how he would approach Shadow. He had to do it. If he waited any longer, Sonic knew he would just continue to rot away in his heartbreak. Sonic would fix things with Shadow. He knew that it was highly likely Shadow would never want to even see him again, but he at least had to try.

Or at least that’s what Amy had told him he needed to do. And she was usually right.

Sonic sped across Green Hill, not quite sure where his legs were taking him. He had no idea where Shadow could be but when you could run as fast as the speed of sound, it was usually pretty easy to find people in relatively short periods of time.

That was not the case for finding Shadow. Sonic had been looking for the ebony hedgehog for almost three hours. Each minute that past by just made him want to give up and disappear from Shadow’s life once more. But he couldn’t. He had to keep looking.

Sonic was now running through an area that he had rarely ventured into. It was a pretty clearing behind the mountain that once housed the Paradox Prism, surrounded my hills and trees. The sight almost took Sonic’s breath away as he began to climb the mountain once more to survey the area.

He made it to a part of the mountain that jutted out slightly. It was a strange spot, almost unnatural, with grass covering the floor and a small tree growing towards the edge. It seemed almost impossible, but eh view it granted was truly incredible. What had looked like a simple clearing from the ground became a sight full of towering trees and many multicoloured flowers. Sonic couldn’t help but stop and watch the view just for a bit.

That was until he was knocked to the ground.

A powerful kick caught him in the back of the head, causing Sonic to fall right on his face.

“What the-” Sonic cried as a pair of strong hands grabbed his ankle, hoisting him up aggressively.

He was then slammed down into the earth once more, spluttering out an incoherent sentence, still rattled by the surprise attack.

Sonic was starting to gain his bearings more as he barely dodged the next attack. He was still facing away from whoever had attacked him, but he had managed to see a fist out of the corner of his eye and quickly swerved out of the way. Sonic them grabbed the aggressor by the wrist, swiftly pulling them over his shoulder and throwing them to the floor.

And just like that, Sonic’s mind stopped working.

The attacker, who was now pushing himself up from the ground, wore a terrifying sneer, his black and red quills slightly out of place from just being thrown to the floor. Sonic couldn’t breathe as Shadow’s fist collided with his chest with such force that Sonic nearly fell off the small mountain platform.

“Shadow!” Sonic exclaimed as the other hedgehog’s fist met Sonic’s cheek.

Sonic didn’t even think before retaliating. With Shadow looming over him as Sonic lay on the floor, the cobalt hedgehog planted his feet in Shadow’s stomach, kicking the ebony hedgehog off him with much more force than usual.

Shadow snarled in response as he was flung off Sonic, before continuing his attack. The two hedgehogs fought like they always did. At this point, it almost seemed choreographed just because it had become such a regular occurrence. Sonic even found himself almost cracking a smile or making some snarky comment at times like he usually would.

But he didn’t. Because it wasn’t the same.

Things couldn’t be more different.

Sonic dodged another one of Shadow’s kicks, barely saving himself from falling off the edge of the secluded mountain cliff. The two kept fighting, both throwing punches and dodging attacks. It was so normal, it felt so right. But it wasn’t.

Now it all felt wrong. There was none of Sonic’s joking and none of Shadow’s name calling. It was silent, except for the occasional grunts that came when one hedgehog landed a particularly painful hit.

It was also wrong because Sonic felt mad. He could feel the anger boiling under his skin. All of the pain Shadow had caused him had now made it to the surface, accumulating in the punched and kicks that were directed solely at the ebony hedgehog.

Shadow let out a pained cry as Sonic landed a kick to his chest. The Ultimate Lifeform landed on his back, leaving a dirt scar on the previously untouched grass. Sonic pounced on top of his rival, pinning Shadow’s wrists to his sides.

Sonic didn’t even think about the fact he was practically straddling Shadow, something that would usually cause him to blush furiously. He didn’t care now. He wanted to tear Shadow apart, make him feel the pain that he had caused Sonic.

Amy’s idea of having a calm and civil conversation with Shadow slowly slipped away as Sonic tightened his grip on Shadow’s wrists as the other hedgehog writhed under him, trying to break free.

“How could you!” Sonic spat, the words burning like fire in his throat, “How could you just run away!”

Shadow thrashed more wildly under Sonic’s grip, his eyes looking anywhere but into Sonic’s.

“You left me!” Sonic yelled, his face pressed close to Shadow’s, “Why would you leave me!”

“Let me go, Faker,” Shadow growled but Sonic persisted.

Sonic shifted slightly, digging his knee into Shadow’s chest to hold him down even more. Sonic could barely think straight, his vision clouded by anger. Anger towards to hedgehog who was now pinned underneath him.

“I get it if you didn’t want to kiss me, Shadow,” Sonic continued his voice dangerous, “But you didn’t have to run away!”

Shadow didn’t respond. He just continued his futile attempts to push the blue hedgehog off him. Sonic’s grip on Shadow continued to tighten, his pain and anger growing as he continued to scream at the hedgehog beneath him.

“But that’s the thing I don’t get!” Sonic cried, a maniacal laugh creeping into his voice, “You kissed me back! You kissed me back, Shadow, and you still ran away!”

Shadow froze under Sonic’s grip. Sonic’s face was now so close to his, it was hard to avoid his gaze. Sonic could feel Shadow’s shaky breath on his own face, his red eyes fixated on an unknown point just behind Sonic.

“Why, Shadow?” Sonic screamed, “Why did you run away?”

Sonic could feel hot tears now streaming down his cheeks. He hadn’t meant to cry, he had been so caught up in his anger to even realise at first. Sonic couldn’t even wipe them away, with his hands currently pinning Shadow beneath him. He just had to let them fall, tracing painful scars from his eyes.

Shadow didn’t respond once again. If he had noticed the fact Sonic was crying, he didn’t seem to care.

“Answer me!” Sonic cried again.

Shadow let out a roar in response, forcefully kicking Sonic off of him, freeing himself from Sonic’s grasp.

“Stop it, hedgehog!” Shadow bellowed, his red eyes glowing dangerously, “you don’t know what you are getting yourself into.”

Sonic pushed himself up to his feet, hastily wiping away the remaining tears. Shadow stood menacingly a few feet in front of him, his fists clenched and ready to fight. Sonic should have backed down, but he was never any good at that.

“Tell me then, Shadow,” Sonic replied, his voice now a growl that would have suited Shadow more than him, “Tell me what I’m getting myself into.”

Shadow didn’t respond once again, simply choosing to turn away. He turned away, but he didn’t run. This time he stayed. Sonic didn’t really know what to make of it. So, he simply continued.

“Fine,” Sonic said, his voice still dangerous as he pushed his luck more than he probably should have dared, “then answer me this, Shadow. Did you, or did you not kiss me back that night?”

Shadow stayed silent for so long, Sonic was worried he wouldn’t answer the question that had plagued Sonic’s mind since that fateful night.

However, after what seemed like an eternity, Shadow finally spoke.

“I did,” Shadow replied, his voice barely audible, but clear enough to cause Sonic to stumble back a few steps in surprise.

So Sonic hadn’t made it all up. Shadow had really kissed him back. Not only that, but Shadow had also admitted to kissing him back.

Sonic took a risky step towards Shadow, attempting to close the gap that the other hedgehog had forced between them.

“Then why did you run?” Sonic asked, his voice just a whisper.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Shadow snarled in response.

Sonic took another step towards Shadow, the gap between then now small enough that Sonic could touch Shadow if he wanted.

“Try me,” Sonic countered.

A cry escaped Shadow as he whipped his head around to stare straight into Sonic’s eyes.

“You don’t get it! You can’t even try to understand!” Shadow cried.

Sonic should have been scared. The look Shadow gave him should have been enough to cause him to turn and run back to the safety of his house. But he wasn’t going to run. And he wasn’t scared. Because Sonic could hear the way that Shadow’s voice cracked slightly and the way his expression flashed with pain.

Sonic had never really scared of Shadow. He had spent far too much time fighting the hedgehog, he could practically predict his next moves. Besides, this was the same hedgehog who had followed him through the Shatterverse to ensure his safety and fought with him in the Shatter spaces. This was the same hedgehog who had carried him back to Green Hill while Sonic almost died in his arms. This was also the same hedgehog who had kissed him back on top of the very same mountain they now stood on. Sonic knew Shadow, more than he knew just about anyone.

And Sonic could read Shadow better than just about anyone. He could sense the fear the hedgehog emitted as the two stood together. He wasn’t going to let Shadow run away this time and he certainly wouldn’t run away either.

“You’re scared,”

Sonic’s words seemed to hit Shadow harder than any punch Sonic had ever thrown at him. Shadow took a step away from Sonic as he tried and failed to hide the pain in his eyes. Sonic could see the way Shadow’s hands shook as he clenched them tighter into fists, the way his bottom lip quivered before he hastily dropped his gaze from Sonic.

It was very clear to Sonic just how scared Shadow was, although he had no idea why.

“You don’t understand,” Shadow answered, his voice shaking.

“Why are you so scared, Shadow?” Sonic asked, taking another step towards Shadow, once again closing the gap between the two.

Shadow tore his eyes away from Sonic, blinking rapidly as if to stop himself from crying. Sonic stood almost in shock as he watched all of Shadow’s intricately built walls start to crumble.

“You wouldn’t get it. You wouldn’t understand,” Shadow repeated, his voice much less menacing now.

“Try me,” Sonic said once again.

Shadow’s eyes tentatively met Sonic’s before dropping once more. He seemed to be locked in an internal conflict that was much more arduous than any fight Sonic and Shadow had ever had.

Shadow let out a cry of anguish as he pressed the palms of his hand into his eyes.

“I’m scared to lose you!” Shadow yelled, his voice full of emotion that Sonic had never heard from him, “You don’t understand, Sonic! Everyone I ever care about just ends up dying! I already lost Maria; I can’t lose you too!”

Sonic couldn’t even respond if he tried to. For one of the first times in his life, Shadow had left him completely speechless.

“Besides,” Shadow continued, turning away once again, “you deserve better. You deserve someone who is as good as you. Someone who isn’t me.”

Shadow’s words almost seemed rehearsed, as if he had been practicing them for days. But more surprising then that in Sonic’s opinion, was that they seemed completely and utterly true.

The two hedgehogs stood like that for a while; Sonic’s eyes fixated on the back of Shadow’s head and Shadow’s gaze trained on the ground.

That was why Shadow had run away. He was scared.

“Shadow,” Sonic started, his voice gently as he reached out to take Shadow’s hand in his own.

Shadow quickly pulled his hand away, turning back to face Sonic again. He wasn’t crying, but he looked like he might burst into tears at any second. It was a strange sight, in Sonic’s opinion, but certainly not one he despised in any way. He didn’t think it was possible for him to despise any version of Shadow.

“Did you not just hear what I said?” Shadow questioned, his voice full of desperation, “Leave me be, go find someone else. You don’t know what you are getting yourself into with me. I’m a weapon, an experiment. I’m not supposed to feel! You should be scared of me!”

Sonic once again slipped his own hand into Shadow’s. This time Shadow didn’t pull away, but it seemed as if that decision was against his better judgement.

“I’m not scared of you, Shads,” Sonic replied, a small smile spreading across his face.

All the anger that had filled his mind had seemed to dissipate. It was hard for him to stay angry when Shadow stood in front of him, looking beautiful as ever.

“Sonic, I can’t be what you need,” Shadow whispered, almost pleading with Sonic, “I’ll only put you in more danger.”

“I can take care of myself, Shadow,” Sonic answered, his voice carrying a casualness that only seemed to anger the other hedgehog more.

Shadow seemed to be trying to stop himself from crying again, his head turned away from Sonic so the cobalt hedgehog couldn’t see. Sonic gave Shadow’s hand a small squeeze.

“I know you can take care of yourself,” Shadow whispered, “But you still deserve better.”

Shadow’s voice broke slightly, his gaze still not meeting Sonic’s.

“I don’t deserve you Sonic.”

Shadow let out a choked sob as Sonic dropped his hand before pulling Shadow towards him in a hug. The slightly shorter hedgehog buried his face in the crook of Sonic’s neck as Sonic reached up a hand to comb his quills through Shadow’s quills.

“I don’t deserve you,” Shadow breathed into Sonic’s neck, “I don’t deserve you.”

Sonic didn’t reply, simply choosing to keep holding onto Shadow as the ebony hedgehog broke down in his arms. It was the first time Sonic had ever seen Shadow properly cry. He had seen him shed a tear once or twice when talking about Maria, but nothing like this.

Shadow pulled away first, hurriedly drying his eyes, almost as if he was embarrassed by his outburst.

“Sorry,” Shadow mumbled, “Still not very good at the whole expressing emotions thing.”

Sonic was so caught off guard by the fact Shadow had apologised in the first place he barely registered the rest of his sentence.

Before Sonic could respond, Shadow continued, much to Sonic’s surprise.

“I’m sorry, Sonic,” Shadow started, still wiping his tears away.

Another apology to throw Sonic off again.

“I’m sorry I ran away. I don’t deserve your forgiveness because what I did was cruel. I am sorry.”

Sonic grabbed Shadow’s hand again, the ebony hedgehog now showing no hesitation toward the gesture.

“I forgive you, Shads,” Sonic replied, a smile spread across his face as kind eyes gazed into Shadow’s.

Shadow looked away again, but this time, Sonic noticed that is was because of the light blush that spread across his face, rather than to hide his tears.

“And about all those lies that you have been telling yourself about me deserving better or you not deserving me,” Sonic continued, more confidence entering his voice now, “You can’t seriously believe all of that, can you Shads?”

Shadow didn’t respond, his gaze still trained on the floor.

Sonic gently placed his hand that wasn’t still holding Shadow’s onto Shadow’s cheek, guiding his face to look at his. Shadow didn’t seem to know how to react, simply staring wide eyed at Sonic as Sonic’s hand lingered on Shadow’s cheek longer than needed.

“I don’t care whether you think I deserve better or that you don’t deserve me,” Sonic said, his voice as soft as his gaze, “I want to be with you.”

“You don’t,” Shadow replied but it lacked any of his usual bite.

Sonic smiled at Shadow once more, relishing at the fact he saw Shadow’s cheeks regain a soft blush. This time, Shadow didn’t look away to hide it.

“I love you Shadow,” Sonic declared, “and I have a feeling that you might love me back.”

Shadow seemed at a loss for words. He simply stared into Sonic’s eyes, his face showing the internal war he was currently fighting. He let out a long sigh, glancing down at Sonic’s hand that was still holding his.

“I can’t,” Shadow whispered, is voice pained as he spoke.

“Do you at least want to try?” Sonic asked, giving Shadow’s hand another gentle squeeze.

Shadow’s eyes flitted back to Sonic’s face, his mouth parted lightly as if he wanted to respond. He closed it quickly though and to Sonic’s surprise, Shadow gave a small nod.

Sonic must have been imaging the rest, because he could feel Shadow’s hand come to rest on his cheek, his thumb gently moving across his fur. Sonic almost yelped in surprise when he felt Shadow pull him closer, his lips fitting easily on his.

Their kiss felt sweeter this time, their lips moving against each other like the two hedgehogs could read each other’s mind. Sonic dropped Shadow’s hand, choosing instead to wrap his arm around Shadow’s waist, pulling him closer. Shadow let out a soft sigh in response as he wrapped his own arms around Sonic’s neck.

Shadow’s lips fit perfectly with Sonic’s, his teeth nipping Sonic’s bottom lip in a way that caused the blue hedgehog to let out a groan that only seemed to make Shadow kiss him harder.

Sonic’s other hand found Shadow’s quills once more, his fingers running through them easily like they were made to fit there. Sonic continued to kiss Shadow, although it felt very different than the first time. This time, it was less urgent. It was kinder, more gently, but still just as hungry.

Sure, Sonic was still terrified that if he pushed something too far, Shadow would run off once again, but it was hard to focus of any thought when said hedgehog’s mouth was currently pressed greedily against his.

Not long after, and much to Sonic’s disappointment, Shadow pulled away from Sonic’s lips. Sonic was partly worried that Shadow would take off once again. But Shadow still kept his arms around Sonic’s neck, and he allowed Sonic’s hands to remain where they were.

“I still don’t think you are making the right decision,” Shadow said, slightly breathlessly, “but you were right about one thing.”

“What?” Sonic asked, his voice shaky and ragged, his lips begging to be pressed against Shadow’s again.

“I do love you,” Shadow replied simply, a tiny smile playing on the corners of his mouth.

Before Sonic could even respond, Shadow had pulled him back into a kiss. His hands trailed from Sonic’s neck down his body, coming to rest on his waist, digging his fingers into his blue fur in that familiar way.

Sonic’s hand that was placed on Shadow’s waist moved upwards, his fingers grabbing at Shadow’s white chest fur as his mouth worked against Shadow’s. Shadow had said that he loved Sonic. Had that really happened? Almost as if he could read Sonic’s mind, Shadow moved his lips away from Sonic’s mouth, now leaving a trail of kisses along Sonic’s cheek and jaw.

“Shads!” Sonic exclaimed, his voice breathy as he tried to speak.

Shadow met Sonic’s gaze, a steely determination in his eyes. His swollen lips turned into a flirtatious grin as he cocked his head to one side.

He was teasing Sonic.

“Kiss me,” Sonic whispered, pulling Shadow closer to him by his white fur.

Sonic’s lips met Shadow’s first this time and Shadow seemed to buckle under Sonic in an all too familiar way. His new, teasing demeanor was quickly shattered by Sonic’s lips as he ran his fingers through Shadow’s quills in a way that sent shivers down Shadow’s spine.

It was electric, more so than anything Sonic could have ever asked for. And he was kissing Shadow, something he never thought he would be able to do again.

When the two finally pulled apart, Shadow turned to gaze at the scenery that surrounded them. It was absolutely stunning, and Sonic truly felt as if he was the luckiest hedgehog in the world.

Shadow stayed quiet for a little while, simply watching the world go by with Sonic by his side. His hands were no longer on Sonic’s waist, instead opting to intertwine his fingers with Sonic’s.

The two hedgehog’s stood hand in hand as they looked out over Green Hill as the sun slowly began to dip in the sky.

“I still don’t understand why you are willing to potentially put yourself in danger just for me,” Shadow said quietly, his voice breaking the silence that had fallen over the two.

His eyes were still trained on the horizon line, but Sonic found comfort in their joined hands.

“I’m always in danger,” Sonic replied, “Besides, getting to love you is worth all the danger in the world.”

Shadow shook his head in disbelief, turning to face Sonic once more.

“You are an idiot, hedgehog,” Shadow replied, letting out a loud sigh.

Sonic laughed in response, before giving Shadow an endearing look.

“I know you’re scared, Shadow. It’s normal to be scared,” Sonic began, taking Shadow’s other hand in his own as well, “But we are in this together, I promise. I’m here for you.”

Shadow gazed into Sonic’s eyes with wonder, almost as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.

“I don’t deserve you,” he repeated.

“But you’re stuck with me now!” Sonic exclaimed, giggling at the sigh that escaped Shadow’s lips again.

Shadow leaned in to give Sonic a little peck on the corner of his mouth, the small gesture making Sonic’s stomach perform a backflip.

“Thank you,” Shadow whispered, “for giving me a chance.”

Sonic gave Shadow a warm smile as he let go of one of Shadow’s hands to push some stray quills out of Shadow’s face.

“It’s not hard for me to give you a chance,” Sonic chuckled, marveling at how gorgeous Shadow looked as the afternoon light, “I love you, Shads.”

Shadow placed his free hand back on Sonic’s cheek, a small smile spread across his face.

“I love you too, Sonic.”