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Kallian lay on her bedroll, listening to the rain pattering on tent walls. The canvas was old in places and the water had begun to leak through, but she paid it little mind. Rather, what she cared about was about a foot to her left, his eyes shut tight, and breathing heavily through his nose.
She had no idea when she’d begun to feel so strongly for the other elf, but just that morning she’d found herself staring lovingly at him from across her breakfast bowl. What made it worse was that he probably knew. While there were plenty of elven men in the alienage, none had caught her eye. Even Nelaros hadn’t interested her beyond potential friendship.
Kallian shook her head. There was no time to dwell on the past, especially when her future was pretty much right beside her. Or what she hoped was her future. She was nothing like Zevran; she wasn’t charming, every time she tried to be, half-garbled sentences fell from her lips like leaves off an autumn tree.
Only the gods knew what he saw in her, and they sure weren’t telling.
“Why must I love you, Zevran?”
She’d never been more thankful for someone to be asleep in her entire life. She hadn’t meant to say it; whisper it into the dark like a dirty secret. But she had, and she had to admit that none of it was a lie. She did love him. A lot. And she didn’t know how or if she was going to tell him. Their ‘relationship’, for lack of a better word, was perfectly fine as it was. They were friends first, and if either of them wanted it, something more some nights. But wasn’t that meant to be it?
That’s what she’d meant it to be initially. And now something had changed; she loved a man who, from past experience, couldn’t find it within himself to love another.
Kallian huffed and snuggled further under her blankets. By her estimation, there was only a couple more hours until the sun rose over the Frostback Mountains, and then they would pack up their tents and head ever closer to Orzammar. She didn’t have the time or energy required to think about her changing relationship with Zevran any longer. She needed a few hours of rest.
~~
However, once her breathing slowed and she fell into another restless sleep, Zevran opened his eyes. Years of training had heightened his senses to wake him at the slightest movement, and Kallian had been moving a lot. At first he’d thought she was having another one of her nightmares, the ones where she literally rolled around the tent in a cold sweat, but then she’d spoken aloud. His heart had almost stopped dead in his chest.
He scarcely believed his own ears. Kallian loved him? Whatever he expected to come out of her mouth at three in the morning, it certainly hadn’t been that.