Chapter Text
Koichi never wanted to fall for what felt like hours in a small dark box ever again. But the wonderful or terrifying thing about falling, depending on a person’s outlook in life, is that it doesn’t go on forever. And soon enough he landed. His impact should have shattered every bone in his body, if he still had bones.
With the room he found himself in not spinning anymore, he could tell which way was up and down again. The container had landed at a weird angle, about thirty degrees steeper than he’d like. Koichi tested the firmness of his surroundings with his fingers and
poked a hole through the material. Paper, thinner than the walls of his apartment back in Tokyo. Shredding his way out wouldn’t be a problem.
Koichi busted out of his box, his feet crunching the ground underneath him as he stepped out. After the brief second of his eyes readjusting, he could mostly see mostly everything in front of him. What he couldn’t see was blocked by a dark ring around his field
of view, a bit like parka with the hood up. White dunes surrounded him, boxes and packages sticking halfway out of the ground, with strange perfectly triangular mountains beyond them. Desolate didn’t cut it. Save for the festive wrapping paper, the whole scene
screamed apocalyptic. Beyond them were a couple of mountains out of a children’s book, pure triangles with uniform white caps. Stars twinkled above his head and while the light pollution in Tokyo kept him from seeing the night sky for most of his life, he could still tell the ones he saw now shimmered more like aluminum than hydrogen. The wind blew around him and sent a shiver that ran across his whole body. However, this wasn’t his body.
Not his real one at least.
He'd been taller before, a lot taller, a good hundred and seventy-five centimeters in height. He kept himself in shape, walked to work when he could, ate out less, and visited his doctor at least twice a year like usual. Without counting his smoking habit and after work drinks with the rest of the administration department, Koichi lived a clean life with a body that nine out of ten ex-girlfriends preferred. His current form couldn’t be more different. All his flesh and hair had been replaced with hard plastic that for some ungodly reason could feel the cold all around him. His arms and legs were stubbed with short claws at the ends of them, so short that he couldn’t put his hands together across his wide chest. The tail unnerved him the most, he didn’t think he’d get used to having to drag one for the rest of his life.
That homeless man, the one with the basket on his back. He did this to him. He wasn’t even an old man, more like a demon wearing the face of one. Indignity burned in the pit of Koichi’s stomach with the memory of that monster pushing him down the alley,
knocking him to his ass, and... well, after that, his memory got a little fuzzy.
Stepping out into the frozen wasteland, he tripped over a hidden pebble and fell face first into the white. On a closer look, he could see the snow was fake, a combination of glitter and some sort of crystal-looking material he’d never seen before. Completely artificial. And as he clutched a handful of the stuff, he tried not to think about how his whole body was just as fake too.
Koichi slumped over, wondering what the use would be. This was surely hell. He’d go with family and friends to the local Buddhist temples during the holidays, collect a fortune, pray for good luck, donate a few yen for a good cause. Secular life came naturally to him as an adult. Magical thinking never crossed his mind if he could help it, save the ghost chasing and spirit photographs for someone else. And now.
Magic was real and bit him on the ass.
And now he was in an artificial hell.
The wind died down long enough for Koichi to hear something new. Muffled voices, two of them if he guessed right. At least he wasn’t alone here. Oh god, he wasn’t alone. Koichi rose back up, putting out his hands for stability as he rocked back and forth. With enough leverage, he launched himself off the ground, his tail pushing against the ground to keep him from falling backwards. Once he stabilized, he waddled like a penguin in the direction of the voices. If he was lucky, he’d find some help. Unlucky, someone would put him out of his misery. He would accept either of those options at this point.
The trail led him to another wrapped box with a large box on top, just like all the others save for the fact that it happened to be the only one rocking back and forth in the fake snow, the voices coming from inside. He couldn’t tell what whoever trapped inside was trying to say but he could tell there were at least two people. One yelling like a mad man, the other much calmer. Koichi didn’t fault either of them if their situation was anything like his.
Knocking against the box, he introduced himself. “Are you alright?” he asked.
The reply came hard, fast, and loud. “Hagiwara! Get me out of here this instant!”
That was his manager, Ryuji Nishimoto. He’d heard that anger so much it leaked into his nightmares. This must be hell then, there was no way that old bastard would make it too heaven.
“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. At once, sir.” Koichi fell back into his salaryman mode in an instant. Years of working under that man taught him that if his boss didn’t get his way, he’d take it out on him and the rest of the department.
“Thank you very much, Koichi, that would be greatly appreciated.”
Koichi hesitated. Not once had his manager said 'thank you' to anyone, not sincerely and not those who worked underneath him. The only times he heard his boss talk in that tone were mixers and parties where someone higher of the corporate food chain happened to be within earshot. Stranger still, he seemed to be talking from the other side of the box without moving. What would happen if he opened the box? What would come out? No doubt his boss had changed like he had, but the question remained. How much of his boss was inside? What if there were two of him, that would be a calamity.
“Hagiwara!”
Enough to bark orders at him, that much for sure. Koichi scrambled to the ribbon, pulling on one of the ends until the knot fell apart. He held the dark red fabric in his deformed hands. Its glossy shine reflected the twinkle of the artificial stars overhead.
Angling back to him, he caught his reflection for the first time that night. It was no wonder he couldn’t see anything around his field of view, his whole head sunk into his body like a turtle into its shell. Worse, he recognized the body all too well. He missed seeing the shape emerge from the box in this moment of self-reflection until its shadow hovered over him.
Koichi looked up and understood why it seemed like there were two people in the box. Two different heads would usually belong to two different people. Twin dragon heads with curled ram horns stood on top two long necks connected to a large dragon body painted with red and black stripes. Instead of arms, the creature sported two massive bat-like wings with talons at the ends of each finger between solid plastic membranes. The whole body supported itself with two lion-like legs and a thick reptilian tail. Worse, he recognized the body all too well.
“Is that you, Hagiwara?” the left head asked.
“What the hell took you so long?” the right one asked.
“Sir! I just, I mean.” Koichi tried to explain himself but only floundered the more he spoke. Maintaining eye contact with two pairs of eyes took more energy than he had prepared himself for and felt like he would fall again.
“What are you, anyway, some sort of lizard?” Left Side Nishimoto asked.
“More of a turtle gorilla hybrid,” he blurted out. Koichi swallowed his words back inside. "I mean, I can only assume based on the arms and shell, sir.”
Both of Nishimoto’s heads eyed Koichi up and down, their slitted eyes narrowing as they craned their necks down to his level, neither looking particularly happy with his explanation, but not interested enough to press him.
“That bastard must have gotten to you too, the one with the horns and tongue."
“Yes, sir.”
“Do you happen to know where we are, exactly?”
“No, sir.”
“Tch," the right head sneers, "you’re whole generation can't do anything on their own. Did you even try looked around?”
"I, uh, no sir. I just got out of my own present when I heard you.”
Left Nishimoto looked back at the container that held him prisoner moments ago.
“Huh, it’s a little early for Christmas.” He laughed without any joy, his face a solid mask of disapproval in vinyl. “And what the hell am I supposed to be?” the Right Nishimoto asked.
"I wouldn't know," Koichi lied.
“A lot of help you are, and stop crying, it’s getting on my nerves.”
Crying? There wasn’t a tear on Koichi’s face despite the stress on him and he hadn’t made a peep.
“I said stop it!” the right head shouted before raising up over the boxes. “Wait,” he said, and Koichi never heard the word said as sinister as when his boss just said it. The two-headed dragon kaiju strode forward, his massive wings pushing empty boxes aside in his path, his tail leaving a snaking curve in the fake snow. Maybe it would be best to let his boss go on by himself, he looked stronger than him, contrast to how the two of them looked yesterday or maybe this morning, time was still lost to Koichi. He didn’t entertain the thought long as Nishimoto, both of them, yelled at him to follow. A little more certain on his center of gravity, the smaller monster waddled right behind his boss.
The two stopped at another unopened present at the edge of wherever they were, mostly fake snow for kilometers in front of them. At this distance, Koichi could hear the crying too. He'd never heard that voice cry before. The only other person with an obvious connection to the two of them. He could only dread what kind of monster that goat man had turned him into.
“Open the box, please,” Left Nishimoto said.
“Sir, I think it’s Yoshi Suda. Maybe we should get some help first, look around for someone who knows where we are fir-”
“I said open it,” Right Nishimoto said with unveiled anger.
Koichi’s hands were already tugging at the knot. With a quick pull, the ribbon unfurled, and the box opened to the world. Both monsters leaned their heads inside to see a small shape tucked into the corner of the container. Suda wasn’t a monster, far from it. Koichi still recognized his new form. Instead of scales or fur, the hunched over figure wore a motorcycle helmet modified to resemble the head of a butterfly with large, segmented eyes and plastic feelers coming out of the top. Whatever magic changed them dressed the younger man in a bodysuit that covered his whole body, white with golden edging around the hem, with matching mini skirt and thigh high heeled boots. The body fitted the whole outfit perfectly, with all the curves that the original KinCho Hime.