Work Text:
How could Harlequin explain this feeling to someone who isn't going through the same thing as them ? That would be complicated, and people may even call them "crazy" for it. But that was just the truth, and they were tired of hiding it.
They thought everything was finally alright, that they could finally feel "true happiness" like peolle said. That they wouldn't need to feel like what they're feeling is fake, like it's geniually coming from the bottom of their heart.
But...when they woke up this morning... everything was just gone.
All their "happy feelings" all the motivation they had to go outside for a walk ot just get out of bed, all of it was just gone now...
They stared blankly at their wall, confuse, frustrated, mad, and many more feelings they couldn't quite grasp yet.
Weren't they feeling better yesterday ? Why was it all..gone now ? Like it has never happen ? Like all of their happy feelings were just a dream...like they will need to keep faking their happiness..like the "geniune happiness" felt so far away now...they couldn't reach it...not anymore...
"Why does it always happens...?" Harlequin mumbled as they hid under the cover, not wanting to get out of there. They were fine staying here the rest of the day- well not really fine but they had absolutely no while to get out of bed anyway -
They sighed once more, why were they still surprised about it ? Of course that would happen, it ALWAYS happened, why would it be any different this time ? Why were they still hoping it'll be different ? That made no sense right ?
Harlequin just stared at their arm, old white lines were there, scars from their teenage times they wished never happened but couldn't stop even if they went back in time.
They were screaming at them, begging them to open them up again, to watch the blood drip down their arm once more, that feeling they used to love, they used to not be able to live without...
Painful as it was, it did gave them an odd sense of comfort, they felt...happen with it.
But Ranpo would scold them if they do it again, he quickly noticed their bad habit of harming themselves that it was by biting their skin or just neglecting their health. He had warn them that if they keot doing so they might as well just keep them close to him like a lost puppy.
The thought made them laugh slightly, Ranpo ? The Ranpo ? Taking care of them ?
He'd probably be annoyed the moment he start.
Harlequin finally get out of the cover but not to get out of bed- absolutely no- they just stared at the ceiling and thought.
Lots of thoughts.
Some good, some bad, he just accepted them, too tired to fight them back. They just wanted to go to sleep, they were too tired to just kept staying awake at this rate; sleeping was the only thing they had motivation for right now.
***
"I'm home !" Ranpo cheered as they opened the door of the appartement, all of that just to be met with a deadly silent.
Ranpo took off his coat, shoes and directly went to the kitchen, thinking his lover may be waiting for him there. Wrong, the kitchen was empty. As if it hadn't been touched all day. As much as he hated to admit it he was getting a little worried.
They went over to Harlequin's bedroom, gently knocking on the door to be met with an annoyed groan. Ranpo sighed as they opened the door of the room.
There was laying an half asleep Harlequin, holding his favorite plusy, chastifol, close to their chest like a kid woulf hold their favorite toy.
Ranmo knew what was happening; it wasn't the first time after all.
"You didn't eat all day did you ?" Ranpo asked, all he was met with was a groan coming from Harlequin. He sighed, quickly going to the kitchen to try and find something easy to eat for his dear lover.
When they were back, Harlequin's back was facing them, soft snoring could be heard from his body as they cling into their plush toy as if their life depended on it. The cover was barely on them now because of how much they've moved in their sleep.
Ranpo approached the bed as he sat down next to Harlequin, studying them for a moment before shaking their body gently. Not wanting to startle them by waking them up brutally.
"Please Harl, I'd like for you to eat." He paused for a moment before adding "and please try to keep it down this time."
They were both silent for a miment before Harlequin mumbled something, Ranlo couldn't hear them but knowing lover it was probably something like 'I'm not hungry' or 'maybe later but not right now.'
He sighed once more, he knew that forcing them to eat wasn't going to help in any way, but they were getting frustrated that they were refusing to eat even though their stomach was growling: just begging to be feed anything.
"Harlequin, please ?" Ranpo asked one last time, but when he got no responde he didn't bother anymore, he didn't wanted his lover to be maf at him for trying to force him to eat.
He put the food aside and laid down bext to Harlequin, his arms wrapped around Harlequin's slender waist as he nuzzled into their neck, kissing the soft flesh before pulling away with a small smile.
"If you ever want me to leave tell me, okay ?" Ranpo mumbled, Harlequin nodded lazily before turning around to nuzzle into Ranpo's chest, enjoying the warmness they were providing them. Their plsu toy was laying in between them, compltely crushed by both bodies. But never of them minded the extra item there.
That didn't stop them from enjoying each other presence after all.