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Dio peeped at Jonathan sitting alone at a bench outside the Mathematical Studies building.
Is he waiting for me? Dio glanced at his watch. Nine p.m.
“Were you planning on surprising me?” He said as he got closer to Jonathan, smirking when Jonathan jumped at his voice.
“Dio! Ah… I didn’t know you were still in school,” Jonathan glanced around the empty campus. “What were you doing so late?”
Dio frowned. Jonathan’s surprised look was too genuine. So he wasn’t waiting for me? What the hell, he thought.
“I was marking the abysmal papers from the exam,” Dio replied. “You didn’t do too badly. Got a seventy-eight.”
“Dio! You’re not supposed to reveal the raw scores!” Jonathan gasped.
Dio cocked a brow up in challenge, as if saying “do I look like I care?”
Jonathan sighed and slumped down on his self.
What, that’s it? No more nagging about how I should follow university rules? Just going to stare at your shoes?
Jonathan was being too… sad. Usually, he would be all over asking Dio how his day went, then talking about how his day went—and there would usually be an incident involving Jonathan helping an old lady with her bags, or saving a kitten, or directing any lost people, typical Jonathan behaviour—with that goofy smile of his.
“Oi, Jojo,” Dio snapped. “What are you doing here if not for I, Dio? Are you going home?”
Jonathan’s face cringed at Dio’s mention of ‘home’.
“I just met some friends in the university for dinner, then I just… found myself here,” he replied, looking up at Dio. “I… I don’t feel like going home yet.”
Dio huffed and made a sound of annoyance before sitting beside Jonathan on the bench.
“Out with it. What’s wrong?” Dio barked. As Jonathan opened his mouth—surely to protest that nothing was wrong—Dio cut him off. “Don’t say nothing’s wrong. Anyone who isn’t blind can see that you look like a puppy that’s been kicked in the stomach then thrown out in the rain to die.”
Jonathan looked away guiltily. An adorable puppy, Dio added to himself.
Jonathan seemed to struggle with what to say, before finally opening his mouth and softly saying: “I came out to my dad last night.”
A heavy silence hung over them. Dio didn’t make any movement. He sat still and quiet, waiting for Jonathan to continue.
“He… He didn’t react well.”
Terror seized Dio’s body. What? What is this? Is he breaking up with me? Dio was aware of how he must have looked at that moment. Eyes narrowed, brow furrowed, mouth pressed into a thin line, glaring at Jonathan.
When Jonathan glanced at Dio, the look of hurt and confusion on Jonathan’s face was unexpected.
Fuck.
Fuck, no, this isn’t a break up. He’s not going to break up with me.
“Fuck,” Dio cursed out loud. “You know, when I agreed to date you, I didn’t know that meant gay counseling too.”
“… I’m sorry,” Jonathan apologized, his voice a mere whisper.
Fucking hell, why did I say that, Dio berated himself.
“Did you… have to come out to your dad too?”
Dio was silent for a while before he scoffed. “No. I never hid my sexuality from anyone. And if your father is anything like mine was, you’re better off ignoring him for the rest of your life.” Or just killing him yourself, Dio thought bitterly.
Jonathan seemed to understand that he was stepping into a very particular landmine with Dio, as he kept his mouth shut and didn’t ask anymore.
Dio was aware of Jonathan slipping back into his moping. He was even starting to sniff, for god’s sake! How dare his father. How dare anyone bring Jonathan to tears.
The only one who can do that is I, Dio. Jojo shouldn’t have to cry over anyone but me. What the fuck. Where is his fucking idiotic smile? Why is he not talking to me? He shouldn’t have to care about what anyone thinks except for me.
“You should go back first. You must be tired,” Jonathan spoke up. His smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“Stand up,” Dio said sharply.
“Huh—wait—” Jonathan struggled with Dio grabbing and pulling Jonathan up on his feet. “I—I don’t want to go home yet, my dad’s at home and—”
“You’re coming to my place.”
“D-Dio!” Jonathan tugged his arm free from Dio’s grip. He blurted out: “I can’t give you what you want!”
“For fuck’s sake, Jojo! I’m not leaving you alone!” Dio hissed. Then, with a softer voice: “I won’t force you to do anything.”
Dio stared into Jonathan’s eyes, hoping that it was clear that if he had to, he would knock Jonathan out and drag him back to his house.
At that, Jonathan allowed himself to be led by Dio to his car.
The ride to Dio’s house was unbearably silent and tense. Dio’s hands clenched tightly against the wheel. His eyes were still narrowed, as if trying to shoot lasers onto the road.
Fuck, I thought he was going to break up with me.
~~~
It wasn’t the first time being in Dio’s house, but Jonathan shuffled awkwardly near the entrance, unsure of what to do, still feeling a bit put off by Dio’s rage earlier.
“Just go to the sofa, Jojo,” Dio commanded.
The sofa creaked with Jonathan’s weight on it. Jonathan sat silently, twiddling with his thumbs. Soon after, Dio joined him on the sofa, shoving a cup of… hot chocolate under his nose.
“Hot chocolate? I thought you didn’t like sweet stuff,” Jonathan asked.
“I bought it for you,” Dio replied, leaving the answer as it was. Jonathan couldn’t help the small bubble of warmth rising in his chest.
“It’s nice,” Jonathan commented, sipping on the hot chocolate. Dio said nothing back, but moved close to Jonathan so that their thighs were touching. The soothing aroma of hot chocolate lulled Jonathan to a relaxed state, and he slanted his body closer to Dio, eventually leaning fully onto his chest.
It was a calming three minutes before Dio took away Jonathan’s cup to place it on the coffee table. Jonathan regarded Dio with a questioning look.
“Kissing is okay, right?” Dio whispered, gently tilting Jonathan’s chin with his fingers. With a gulp, Jonathan nodded shyly.
Their lips touched softly as they kissed. It was a closed-mouth kiss. To Jonathan’s surprise, Dio did not push further, did not even attempt to lick or suck on his lips. The soft caressing of Dio’s left hand on his chin migrated to his neck, and his right hand massaged his thigh… Dio’s hands felt so warm, so good, so right—
“What do you mean you’re gay, son?”
Before he could help it, Jonathan was crying, tears streaming down his face, staining both their cheeks.
“Fuck—Shit—Jojo,” Dio pulled away to rub his left thumb across Jonathan’s cheek. “Jojo, Jojo.”
“Is this wrong…? Is what I’m feeling… What we’re doing… Is it… Wrong?” Jonathan sobbed in-between pauses.
The image of his father’s disappointed face resurfaced in his mind. His father looking shocked, then shaking his head, insisting it was a joke, then insisting it was just a phase. And then blaming himself, saying that it was because he didn’t raise Jonathan properly, that if his mother was here, this—whatever this was—it wouldn’t have happened. Each word felt like a grip choking Jonathan’s heart.
Suddenly, Dio grabbed the sides of Jonathan’s head with both his hands.
“Fuck what your father thinks.”
“B-But… Dio… He’s... He’s my dad—”
“Fuck your dad,” Dio snarled.
“Dio—!”
“Fuck what anyone thinks! They can go against us all they want. I don’t care if this is right or wrong. This is real. What we have is real,” Dio pressed his forehead into Jonathan’s, looking deep into his eyes, sending the point home. “It’s not going away whether your father approves it or not, whether anyone approves it or not.”
Hearing those aggressive words shocked Jonathan.
But inside, he could feel a warmth beginning in his heart. The tears had stopped. Jonathan’s eyes were wide open. He felt a strange sense of comfort washing over him. He felt validated. He felt like Dio’s words just gave him an anchor in his life.
He… He liked it. He liked Dio.
He liked Dio very much.
“You done crying?” Dio wiped off some of the remaining tears on Jonathan’s cheeks. “I didn’t date you for your moping face…”
I love him, Jonathan thought. I love this man. I love Dio.
Jonathan leaned forward; full intending to kiss Dio, but Dio grabbed his chin again and pushed him away. “Goddammit, clean your disgusting snot and mucus first, you fool,” Dio chided, using his other hand to reach for the tissues on the coffee table and handing it to Jonathan.
Jonathan laughed. He giggled and wiped his nose, then dived in for Dio’s mouth, sliding his tongue over Dio’s lips, sighing happily when Dio’s own tongue slipped into his mouth. A light haze of happiness came over Jonathan’s mind. He felt light, he felt happy, and he felt reassured. Dio was by his side, and Dio would stay with him.
They sat there, on Dio’s sofa, kissing till their kisses morphed into lazy licks of each other’s lips, their cheeks pressed together, and Jonathan, with his eyes closed, sighed and murmured: “I love you.”
Dio didn’t reciprocate the words, but Jonathan didn’t mind. Just like how Jonathan needed time for physical intimacy, he knew that Dio needed time to say those words back to him. Jonathan settled with nuzzling into Dio’s neck, loving Dio’s special scent of expensive cologne, coffee, and something musky, something unexplainably Dio.
“Stay the night,” Dio said.
Could I?
Could I stay? What would Dad say, though? Not coming home after last night…
Jonathan opened his eyes, looked at Dio, took a deep breath, then nodded and replied: “Okay.”
Dio raised his brows, as if he was expecting some resistance.
“Where will I sleep, though? Your bed’s a single. It’s too small for the both of us…”
“You’ll sleep on the couch.”
“What—Dio!”
“I’ll move blankets and pillows out for you,” Dio stretched and got up from the sofa. “Besides, if we slept together now…” Dio’s red eyes trailed over Jonathan’s body, “I don’t think I’ll be able to restrain myself.”
Dio’s words brought a rosy shade of red to Jonathan’s cheeks.
“How romantic,” Jonathan laughed bashfully and got up to help Dio, choosing not to say anything about how the edges of Dio’s mouth curved up ever so slightly, and how his eyes relaxed to gaze at Jonathan in fondness.
Later, when the both of them had showered, Jonathan in one of Dio’s spare shirts, and the sofa prepped with the blanket and extra pillow, Jonathan asked: “You said before that you’re not dating me for ‘my moping face’. Does that mean you’re dating me for my smiling face?”
Jonathan flashed a smile at Dio, a toothy one that reached to his eyes. He remembered Dio describing his smile as ‘ridiculously cute’ under his breath once.
“Yes. Your smile is so bright and annoying, I want to snuff it out,” came Dio’s reply. Jonathan cocked his head to the side, frowning. That wasn’t very romantic.
“I want to hide that smile, lock it up in my room where no one but I, Dio, can appreciate it,” Dio continued. “No one but I, Dio, is worthy enough to witness that smile.”
Oh, how romantic.
Jonathan, once again, felt strangely flustered at Dio’s weird compliment. Dio’s strange personality was really rubbing off on him.
As Dio headed into his bedroom with a yawn and a “goodnight, Jojo”, Jonathan called out quickly: “Thanks for not leaving me.”
Dio halted by the entrance of his room, his back to Jonathan. After a beat, he shook his head and scoffed.
“You looked pathetic on that bench.”
Jonathan merely laughed at Dio’s retreating back.
As he laid on the couch, he figured that he wouldn’t mind Dio rubbing off on him at all. He fell asleep into dreams of soft kisses and hugs, with Dio’s scent enveloping him.