Chapter Text
It had been 5 years since Kit had seen Olly.
5 years since that fateful night.
5 years since secret hungry kisses and hushed sweet nothings turned into harsh glares and fake rumours had been spread out of that sort of sinking heartache, the type that consisted of choked back tears and stomachs lurching.
୨ ୧
December 31st.
Leftover Christmas decorations were distastefully mixed in with the golden balloons and plastic confetti in the shapes of the year to come, cheap alcohol and the sweaty, stuffy atmosphere of excitement.
Girls giggling and rushing around with their friends to find a New Year’s kiss for each of them, guys lingering round, trying to act as if they didn't care, secretly glancing in the direction of the one they longed to taste the lips of.
…And Kit. Awkward, slightly out of place, dragged along by his friends, hanging out in a side room, sitting on a sofa, trying - and failing - to look as if he didn't desperately want to have stayed at home. It was loud. He held a red paper cup in his hands, staring at the brown-gold liquid inside.
He hadn't drunk much, in truth he didn't even like the taste of alcohol, it burnt his throat and led to too many bad decisions. He saw it happen with his friends over and over. One night stands that always, without fail, left someone in a wreck.
His friends had left to go talk to some girls who had been sweet talking them for at least an hour before. God, he wished he had stayed home.
He pulled his eyes up from the drink.
A man stood on the other side, he had scruffy mousey hair and even worse posture than Kit did.
He had a naturally sheepish look about him, like he was trying to make himself smaller.
“Some men just have that look about them. Like a stick’s been shoved too far up their ass. And they probably were the one to go and stick it up there.”
No, he didn't seem like that, as much as he usually agreed with Will’s philosophies, this statement only half applied to him.
He had a different feel about him...
Something pulled Kit to him that night, whether that had been his slightly puppy-like eyes, the way he tried to make himself disappear into the background, or the way he felt so familiar to him in a weird, deja-vu sort of way.
Something had made him approach him.
He put down his cup, the decided against it, and took it up in his hand again, standing up and trying his best to sort out his hair subtly and swiftly.
The lights flashed and span, purples and blues, dizzying him slightly in the heat of the party. It wasn't too late in the night, so the centre of the main room was crowded, so he wormed his way through the flush of people, and stood next to the awkward standing guy.
“Hey.”
His heart beat in his ears, when did it become this hot?
“Oh- hi.”
His voice was a little on the higher side, a little shaky.
“I’m uh, Kit.”
“Olly. I like your shirt.”
He motioned down to the taller boy’s shirt, which was closely fitted to his chest.
“Thanks… ha. It's actually my band.”
“Cool.”
An awkward tension hung in the air, a weird silence in a busy room, faint music in the background.
Was it Arctic Monkeys? Probably. It was agreeable. Most people liked it.
“Who'd you come here with?”
Ah. of course. He had to know the host in some way, he tried to recall who he came with, his mind conveniently going blank for a second.
“Uh - the weird ginger one with glasses over there. dressed like a divorced dad.”
This garnered a chuckle from Olly.
“Will? I've known him since secondary.”
“Yeah. Wait, same. You went to Beaufort?”
“Yeah dude. I was pretty short though back then, sort of friends with the weird kids.”
“Ah I see.”
Their eyes met for a second. Both sea blue. Both for slightly too long. Both felt just as hesitant to break eye contact.
Kit took a sip of the beer in his hand. Fuck it. It'll help me with this. I need to loosen up. The alcohol burnt the back of his throat a little, the cheap taste barely touching his tongue. His face scrunched involuntarily - the corners of his eyes pricking with tears.
“Not a drinker huh?”
Olly’s eyes skimmed over Kit’s face, flashing a slightly lopsided smirk as he followed suit, albeit much more slowly.
“Nah. Can’t stand the way it burns most days.”
Kit exhaled sharply, a shadow of a laugh.
A pause.
“You aren't a lightweight are you?”
Kit laughed, a little more genuine and heartily this time,
“God no, I’m fine with alcohol, well- as in- I’ve tried in the past to get drunk, it takes more than a couple shots of cheap beer to get it done though.”
Olly’s gaze flicked down the taller boy’s face.
His smile was…. nice.
“Want to get another drink with me? You chugged yours pretty quickly, and say what you want, the beer doesn’t taste too ass.”
Olly motioned to Kit’s empty paper cup with his own, turning his eyes away from the other boy’s sheepishly.
What hurt could getting a little tipsy with him do?
Kit smiled back.
“Fuck it. I might regret it later, but who cares for tonight?”
Both of them laughed, and the space between them grew smaller, the ice hadn’t broken, but rather melted away, the warmth sinking deep into their skin before settling in their bones.
Shot after shot, they laughed harder and harder, becoming friendlier as the night went on; jokes were shared through the hurried, shallow gasps of air between sentences punctuated by giggles and accidentally, slightly too long eye contact that they felt reluctant to break.
Before they could remember how they even got to the topic, they were sat down on the side room sofa talking about girls.
“Yeah no, I’ve dated a little, none of it really ended all that well.”
Kit sighed, sinking a little deeper into the sofa. The air was sticky now, the atmosphere a little buzzed now that most had tasted the cheap liquor and let it settle a bit.
Olly sat across from him, legs spread, an arm flung across the top of the sofa carelessly.
“Same. I dated like, once, before most girls seemed to start to avoid me.”
His speech was slurred slightly and his movements were clumsy as he waved his hand around a little to illustrate his point.
Kit tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling. He swore he saw a condom attached to it, dangling by the base above, he snorted and let his mind wander with aid of the alcohol, sinking himself ever deeper into the relaxed atmosphere of the room.
He glanced around at some cheap leftover Christmas lights, blues and reds and greens… all glowing and framing the small, but cozy room. Upon the ratty brown carpet rested a coffee table, albeit a little scuffed, but still in reasonably good condition. He let his gaze wander back to the ceiling.
“Do you want a girlfriend though- be honest.”
Olly laughed.
“The fuck you mean? Of course. I’d be lonely otherwise. Plus a guy’s gotta get some… relief. If you know what I mean.”
He nudged the neater, tall boy that sat next to him playfully.
“Seriously though, why’d you ask?”
Kit let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes and sinking himself deeper into the worn sofa.
“Just… sometimes I wonder if I’d be able to go without one. You know, forever. Sure a relationship is nice.. but once a month goes by, I just never end up feeling what… I don’t know, proper, romantic love.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose.
The other boy looked at him expectantly.
“Go on.”
The taller boy continued, opening his eyes once more to look around at the Christmas lights.
“I just feel that loneliness is sort of fixed by friends in between relationships. I guess it could be that I’ve never been much of a romantic,”
A sigh, deep and heavy.
“But I don’t know. I don’t think I could do long term. Stuck with someone for that long.”
He looked at the other boy, studying his face through the haze of beer and sweat that clouded his mind, looking for approval, disagreement, something.
“Fair enough. I’ve never been able to do long term either.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Kit smiled to himself.
Maybe coming to this party wasn’t too bad.
Olly was nice to talk to.
His mind was dizzy, paired with the slight sting the alcohol left in the back of his throat from earlier.
Then the countdown started, the power shut down.
The lights went dark.
Giggles and quiet laughter bounced around the room.
“God it would be embarrassing for someone not to have had a kiss, so many people here that I bet someone would kiss Kyle to hold their dignity.”
Will’s words rang in Kit’s head for a second.
5…
Both boys started to scrambled for someone to kiss quickly as they realised they probably should kiss someone…
4…
…anyone, even, just to join in the game everyone was playing.
3…
Hell, it didn't even matter if it was that slightly off putting girl from earlier, it would all be forgotten alongside a hangover tomorrow
2…
Kit had found his hands against someone’s face, soft skinned and with soft lips, and gently pulled them towards him…
1…
…and kissed them. They tasted of alcohol and bad decisions, but all that came to mind were thoughts of how this person, while also clearly drunk, tasted good, and while also fumbling slightly in the darkness, was… a surprisingly good kisser.
They opened their mouth slightly and slipped their tongue inside, and as soon as Kit touched their’s back, tasting the alcohol on their lips, he pulled away, smiling a little as he looked into the darkness of the person’s face, waiting for the light to turn on to see who he had just kissed…
Shouts of “Happy New Year!” could be heard, smiles everywhere, some people’s lips still pressed together passionately even as confetti rained down on the heads of many, fireworks were being set off, and now Kit could see who he had kissed in the faint light of the bursting stars.
Blue eyes met his own.
Blue eyes that belonged to Olly.