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Gunshots rang endlessly all around her, their constant, reverberating cracks warping into a gut-wrenching melody that Gabi Braun was forced to endure, to adapt to, for even if she covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut tight enough to hurt, it'd always, always reach her, one way or another. Thoughts of her family back in Marley crossed her mind - no matter how much they'd pushed and insisted in matters concerning the Armoured Titan, she loved them, and she always would.
But here, in Paradis, Reiner was fighting for his life, for the lives of all the people he loved, and Gabi felt useless.
Colt dragged Falco before the Beast Titan, staring up at it with fear rather than his usual awe. The Beast Titan was supposed to be on their side, they shouldn't have been afraid of it.
"PLEASE DON'T SCREAM, ZEKE!"
Gabi was powerless. For once in her short life, sheer determination and hard work did nothing for her. She'd always strived to do everything in her power to succeed - whether that was racing Falco, Udo, and Zofia, or during war - yet now she was frozen, recalling how easily Falco had taken that wine bottle to the head for her and drank the wine meant for Paradis' soldiers protecting her. That wasn’t even the only time; Falco had been protecting Gabi from the moment they arrived in Paradis, so why couldn’t she do the same for him?
“Let us get out of range first! After that, slaughter away! Kill as many Marleyans and Eldians as you want! Just don’t drag my little brother into this!”
No, but that was wrong, wasn’t it? Of course, Gabi wanted Zeke to stop to save Falco, who would’ve done anything to stop him if the roles were reversed. But she didn’t want him to kill anyone else, either... regardless of whether they were Marleyan or Eldian... wasn’t he just killing people? Did it truly matter where they were from? Kaya was Eldian, and she was a good person – she was the same kind of Eldian as Falco and Colt and Reiner, everyone was the same.
Zeke screamed. Despite the fact he knew Falco would die, Zeke screamed.
Time seemed to slow down all of a sudden, yet Gabi barely got away as an explosion blasted beside her, knocking her off the horse she’d been riding. Looking up from where she'd landed, Gabi was met by a sight so horrifying it’d be branded in her memories for the rest of her life.
Colt – or rather, the parts that were left of him – was discarded on the ground beside a pair of unmistakably giant legs which could’ve only belonged to a titan. To Falco’s titan. His neck had expanded to an abnormal length, even for a titan, turning him into some kind of humanoid serpent hidden in a cloud of dust and smoke. His head scoured the area, just a shadow from Gabi’s perspective on the ground, but still a harrowing sight nonetheless. The only sound that pierced through Gabi’s racing heart and ringing ears was a chorus of eerie groans and growls, all sounding nothing like the Falco she knew. The Falco she loved. The Falco who had just confessed his feelings for her, who she felt so determined to save that she never even considered an outcome nearly as horrific as this.
The Falco whose twisted neck penetrated the cloud separating the two of them, his mouth agape as if starved.
Gabi jolted awake, a startled shriek escaping her lips before she had the chance to prevent it. A moment too late, she covered her mouth with both hands, sinking further underneath her blanket. It was warm, but not comforting. Nothing seemed to be, not after that agonising nightmare, that torment which felt real... because it had been.
This happened more often than not – Gabi knew how to calm herself down – but for some reason this particular nightmare seemed to have a more powerful effect on her, because nothing was working. No matter how many times she took deep breaths, just like Levi had taught her the first time, or reminded herself that Falco was safe – no matter what Gabi did, she was forever haunted by the events from her time in Paradis, and her involvement in the war.
As far as Gabi knew, the pain wouldn’t cease for a very long time, if it ever did. Three years had passed already, and it’d come to a point where she was expecting these nightmares, even fearing sleep because of them. Hands clamped over her mouth, she sobbed silently, suffocated by panic and the urge to keep that pain to herself, to keep that weakness a secret. Breathing became an unnatural phenomenon, as if she suddenly forgot how, and her chest felt far too tight.
Levi and Falco must’ve been fast asleep – it was the middle of the night – and though Gabi hated them seeing her this way, a part of her longed for their grounding presence. Even just seeing a glimpse of them, especially of Falco, would ease her fear.
But Gabi had to be strong – she was next in line to inherit the Armoured Titan, after--
Wait. No, she wasn’t. Not anymore.
Still, she felt a sense of responsibility. To always appear put-together and tough, no matter the situation. Levi had assured her on numerous occasions that she would never need to prove anything like that to him or Falco or anyone, yet here she was, trying to prove it anyway. At least she didn’t lose her signature stubborn streak.
Unfortunately for Gabi, despite how stubborn she was, her suffering was something Falco would never dare ignore. He’d become a lighter sleeper once he realised how often Gabi’s nightmares tortured her, disappointed that he hadn’t been by her side to calm her down, so naturally a shriek in the dead of night alarmed the poor boy. He slipped out of bed, still half-asleep, sprinting and stumbling to Gabi’s room down the hall. It felt too far away – Falco wanted to be by her side, because she didn’t deserve to suffer so much.
He also felt at fault for her suffering. Though she didn’t share much, Falco knew the nightmares often surrounded the incident where he’d been turned into a titan. If Gabi wasn’t subjected to that, perhaps the nightmares would’ve turned out less cruel.
Less cruel, but still there. No child comes out of war unscathed, no matter how much or how little they witness.
Standing in the doorway, holding a candle he forgot he’d grabbed, Falco was met with a sight worse than expected. Normally, he’d find Gabi sat up, hugging one of her pillows. She’d notice him, and immediately chuck it at him, her cheeks dusted pink, grumbling something about being fine but also quickly accepting a hug from him. But this time, Gabi was nowhere to be seen, and in her usual place, was a suspiciously Gabi-sized trembling lump under her blanket.
“Gabi...? Are you okay?” Of course she wasn’t - Falco mentally scolded himself for the stupid question. “I’m coming in, okay? Tell me if you don’t want me to.”
Silence.
Slowly, moving as carefully as he could, Falco set the candle down and lowered himself onto the edge of Gabi’s bed, feeling her tense up beside him. He tensed up, too, afraid that even the slightest wrong move would worsen her condition. Gently, the boy rested a hand on what he assumed to be Gabi’s back, patting her soothingly.
“I’m here, Gabi. I’m okay. We’re okay. You can have a look – if you want.”
Silence.
Falco knew to wait, though. He knew Gabi almost as well as he knew himself. Shuffling over to give her some room, he leaned back against the wall and hugged his knees.
“Remember when I said I wanted us to get married?” Falco averted his gaze from the Gabi-lump, fighting the blush beginning to creep up his neck, trying to still his frenzied heart. “I... I meant it.”
A shuffle. Falco smiled.
“I know we’re only fifteen, before you say anything, but even so – I really care about you. And... also... I’m sorry.”
The Gabi-lump became, well, just Gabi. She shot up, the blanket pooling around her waist, and she was... angry? Though her cheeks were flushed and stained with tears, her eyes reflected the same determined expression Falco had always admired.
“Stop talking like that!”
Expecting her reaction, Falco laughed. “I knew that’d get you out! You’re so predictable!” He decided not to tell her the truth that apology held. Even if it was used as a Gabi extraction tactic.
“Hey! Sh-Shut up! You’re one to talk!” Gabi huffed, turning away from Falco, though she could barely contain her relieved grin. Falco was safe. He was okay, and that was all she needed.
Falco moved closer, wrapping his arms around Gabi, who sighed, much calmer than she’d been moments ago. Her head resting on his shoulder, she closed her eyes once more, allowing herself to slowly slip into a more peaceful slumber.
Turning his head, whilst tenderly rubbing Gabi’s back, Falco caught sight of Levi at the door, sat in his wheelchair, wearing a forlorn expression.