Work Text:
Your phone’s ringing! Your phone’s ringing! Hey come on—
That incessant ringtone! Damn Dazai, what the hell does that suicidal maniac need now? He was supposed to be here an hour ago, even if he’s usually late, this is unacceptable. Kunikida reluctantly answered the call with a sigh—it’s throwing him off his schedule—but before he can even say “Hello,” or “What?” or “Why aren’t you here right now, you bandaged bastard?” Dazai’s voice rang out from the other end, an unexpected question leaving his lips.
“Do you think Chuuya will like roses?”
Dazai’s voice was calm and level, nothing about it giving anything about the random question away or why he asked it. Kunikida could barely process what he said before Dazai spoke again, talking as if Kunikida wasn’t even there. “Nevermind, that’s too basic for the Chibi . . . Oh, how about peonies? Actually, I could do better.”
Dazai stopped speaking for a moment, as if he was thinking or letting Kunikida talk for once. But he found himself with nothing to say, his brain just processing what the hell Dazai is saying. Flowers? For Nakahara, Chuuya Nakahara? Did Kunikida hear that correctly? Firstly, Dazai wasn’t one to get flowers, and secondly, for Chuuya Nakahara? Kunikida thought Dazai hated him. With the way Dazai talks about his former partner, it surely sounds that way.
Apparently, Dazai took Kunikida’s silence as a response, for he piped up some time after Kunikida said nothing, his voice more excited than before. “I got it! I’ll get him camellias, thanks Kunikida!”
That sounded like it was the end of the conversation—if you could even call it that since Kunikida contributed nothing to it—so he spoke up a “Hey!” before Dazai could hang up, a bit louder than he intended. (Ranpo snickered at him from across the room.) It was effective however, as he heard Dazai let out a curious and confused hum, as if he had any right to be confused right now. “Dazai, what the hell are you talking about?” He asked, and while he was at it, he added on: “Aren’t you supposed to be at work right now?”
“Oh yeah . . .” Dazai said, as if he just remembered about the nine to five job he’s supposed to be at right now. “Yeah, I’m not going to be there today.” He sounded dejected, like he was disappointed the conversation turned to his job. Kunikida couldn’t care less however, he just wanted answers for the vague response.
“As if I couldn’t guess that,” he responded, before getting to the meat of the conversation. “So what’s with the flowers, Dazai? What are you planning?”
Dazai’s voice perked back up, and Kunikida still wonders how he’s able to switch emotions so quickly, even after knowing him for so long. “Why, I’m not planning anything! You think so low of me, Kunikida,” Dazai stated, and Kunikida can practically hear the pout on his face. Luckily he didn’t have to drag the answer out of him, because Dazai actually answered his question—for once—right afterwards. “It’s for my anniversary, obviously!”
He stated that as if it were clear that was the reason, like Kunikida’s a fool for thinking otherwise. Well instead, that answer just brought up more questions. “Your anniversary?” Kunikida repeated into his phone, a clear doubtful tone in his voice.
“Yeah!” Dazai happily replied, ignoring Kunikida’s skepticism entirely. “The Chibi and I’s. It's been six years since we’ve started dating, can you believe that? Speaking of, I gotta get my Chuuya some flowers, thanks for the help Kunikida!” Dazai said again, and before Kunikida could protest about the huge lore drop, Dazai hung up, leaving him with his mouth agape in the middle of the Detective Agency.
Ranpo burst out laughing at him.
~☆~
In the apartment of a Port Mafia executive, a bouquet of red camellias sat in a pristine vase on the kitchen table, its petals bright and gleaming with being freshly picked. Dazai gave them to Chuuya a couple hours ago, way before he even called Kunikida to “ask” for his opinion. In fact, Dazai had his mind set on the perfect flowers for Chuuya long before their anniversary, he didn’t need any help whatsoever.
Right after he hung up, Dazai waltzed over to Chuuya in the kitchen, draping himself over the Chibi’s back like a koala as Chuuya was cooking at the stove. Dazai knew that Chuuya didn’t mind his clingyness, and actually, he leaned into Dazai's hold instead, not fazed one bit.
“You called just to mess with him, didn’t you?” Chuuya accused, not taking his eyes off the food at the stove as Dazai buried his face into Chuuya’s hair. It was soft and smelled faintly like vanilla, just one thing out of many that Dazai loved about his Chuuya. When Dazai didn’t answer his question however, Chuuya sighed contently and turned so he was able to see Dazai’s face. Dazai slightly pouted at the movement, that is until he saw Chuuya’s face and looked at him with a faint smile that simultaneously showed how much he loved the Chibi as well as answering his question, which is yes, that’s exactly the reason Dazai called. “He didn’t know about us?” Chuuya guessed, and Dazai nodded happily, giving Chuuya a dorky smile that clearly showed the fact he had fun messing with his coworker.
“Kunikida had no idea,” Dazai confirmed again, gazing contently at Chuuya, who rolled his eyes in response. Dazai just chuckled, leaning in to give Chuuya a kiss, which he easily reciprocated, even turning a bit to be more comfortable in Dazai’s hold. Dazai always loved kissing the Chibi, his lips were always soft and warm and he always smiles into it, which makes Chuuya huff in amusement, and the air from his nostrils tickle Dazai’s face in the best ways. The point is: kisses from Chuuya were intoxicating.
Which is why Dazai was disappointed that Chuuya pulled away earlier than expected. He frowned again, making a display to show how downcast he was at the action. Yet before he could protest, Chuuya spoke up again, wriggling around so he was back to facing the stove. He still allowed Dazai to hang off his shoulders however, which Dazai was grateful for. He always loved clinging onto the Chibi.
“Did you really think roses were too basic for me?” Chuuya questioned, putting his focus back to cooking. Dazai rested his chin on the top of Chuuya’s head, his tone jokingly offended that Chuuya would even ask that.
“Of course,” Dazai stated plainly, scrunching his nose up at the thought. “My Chuuya deserves better than plain roses.”
“I’d appreciate anything you get me, you know?” Chuuya countered, a teasing tone to his voice.
“I know that! But it’s for our anniversary, Chuuya deserves something special!” Dazai whined, causing Chuuya to give him a pointed look—although he knew it was one that meant that Chuuya secretly appreciated Dazai’s sentiment in making their anniversary special, especially considering the fact that Dazai doesn’t often try at things that may seem silly to some, even if anniversaries are nowhere near silly. But for a guy like Dazai, one would expect that he doesn’t take lovey-dovey things like this seriously, but Chuuya can testify that he’s instead the complete opposite. Dazai gifts him chocolates, flowers, plushies, everything a stereotypical lovesick teenager would give to his girlfriend. And Dazai could just tell that Chuuya appreciates it every time, even if it’s usually veiled under a poorly portrayed “I hate you Dazai,” mask.
“Well, you did make this special,” Chuuya stated, and Dazai couldn’t help but mentally jump with joy at the praise—he knew Chuuya loved it all anyways, but actually hearing the accolades come out of Chuuya’s mouth were always an accomplishment that had Dazai’s heart fluttering every time. Chuuya turned to look at him once more, the corners of his eyes crinkling with a smile. “I love the flowers Dazai, thank you,” he said.
Dazai smiled himself, a soft look coming to his face. “Happy anniversary, Chuuya,” he said, his usual teasing and mocking gone for an uncharacteristic tone of endearment.
Chuuya smiled even wider, and Dazai found—like always—that he could melt at the sight. “Happy anniversary, Osamu,” he repeated back, sealing it off with a lasting kiss.