Work Text:
#promnightiscoming
"Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."
-George R. R. Martin
[Westeros Valley High School]
SANSA (Voiceover): If OLD Sansa knew what current Sansa knew now, maybe she wouldn't have stolen Arya's prom dress money.
SANSA: IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'LL EVEN USE IT, SHE TAKES SHOP CLASS. SHOP CLASS. FINE. WHATEVS. GODS DAD, DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD ABOUT IT!
ROBB: You shouldn't talk to our father like that.
SANSA: Fine.
JON: Yeah, Sansa you should pay him a little respect.
SANSA: UGH, YOU DON'T EVEN GO HERE JON. [PUSHES HIM OUT THE WAY, DANY GOES TO HELP] I don't know why we bother with Jon he's not a Stark. Mom is so totes right about him. He-
ROBB: -Knows nothing but he is our brother. And as Theon says...
[CUT TO SWIM TEAM]
THEON (half naked): Bros before hos Ginger Stark. Bros before hos. Heeey, how you doin-OH GODS IT'S MY SISTER. NO YOU CAN'T BE ON THE BOYS SWIM TEAM. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A BOY!
[CUT BACK TO CORRIDOR
JON: But... I go here. I'm in Robb's econ class and gym. I've been going here since before you!
DANY: It's okay, I know you go here.
JON: Oh... hey Dany. Nice wig.
DANY: IT'S MY NATURAL HAIR.
SANSA: Suuuure and if you believe that, you'll believe Renly is totally dating Loras's sister.
ROBB: Sansa! That's rude and remarkably accurate. Ever since you've starting hanging out with that Lannister kid you've been acting so-
SANSA: -so what? So like finally someone in this school finally sees me for the awesome amazing person I am. Someone who has a flawless skin regime, an ironic love of Justin Bieber and totally kickass abs? What's wrong with that Robb? What's wrong with that?
ROBB: Everything. We are Stark. Our way is the vintage-
SANSA: -way. Well, maybe I want to buy from Target.
SANSA: UNIRONICALLY.
ROBB: ... How could you say that?
JON: Low blow, low blow.
SANSA & ROBB: SHUT UP JON.
JON: ....
DANY: It's okay Jon, I appreciate you. Hey, you want to see my dragon collection?
JON: Sure.
DANY: It's started you know?
JON: What has?
DANY: Prom night. It will rain down on us like blood. Blood and fire everywhere. Fire and ice...
JON: You don't get out much, do you?
[CUT TO SCHOOL COUNCIL]
STANNIS: I propose that we theme the prom around our Lord of Light and saviour-
RENLY: LAME. LAAAME. Although red is my colour. Red Wedding theme?
RENLY: [Checks with everyone] Red Wedding? Red Wedding?
RENLY: Red wedding passes. Awesome.
STANNIS: But- but I
RENLY: Awww Stanny don't get your panties in a bunch, he's so adorbs when he's mad.
STANNIS: I AM NOT ADORABLE
COUNCIL: Awwwwwww
[Cut to Corridor, where a poster is being hung up.]
[POSTER READS: PROM NIGHT THEME: RED WEDDING]
#promnightiscoming