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"DHAFAJFASJTATJAFJAFJAJFSJ dang that last death lowkey sucked starving for 3 weeks fucking sucked but the bear coming out of nowhere just made the whole thing fucking stupid" diavolo yip yapped outloud to himself
"Where tf am I this looks like a hospital" he said to no-one
Then he starts vomiting blood and tweaking the fuck out so he gets transferred to the whatever room
–
"House we got a really bizarre case today that we should totally check out" Foreman says
"Bizarre you say" house says while preforming a vicodin trick shot😜
"Yeah like this guy just appears literally no-one saw him enter he is wearing like a fuck ass fishnet top or something idfk and watermelon lookin hair he is talking about how he just died and shit then he vomits blood then starts tweaking tf out before the nurses drag his ass into a room" Foreman explains
"Cool story bro one issue I don't care" house says while liking vicodin
"I will give you 42 dollars"
"DEAL🤑🤑"
–
Diavolo is laying on the bed as this bitch Cameron is asking him about his job like girl I ain't telling you shit then he assumed she gave up because she left then this fuckass blonde guy in a wheelchair comes by and enters the room
"Are you dr house I've hear he has issues with walking" diavolo saying to this guy
"HELLO WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME😭💀 DAWG IM NOT HOUSE DO I LOOK LIKE MY NAME IS A NOUN💀💀 ALSO ID NEVER BE A DOCTOR I FUCKING HATE THEM" this blonde guy replies
"Bro did you just say that you hate doctors while I'm in earshot that hurts bro what the hell" some Italian guy says
Oh thank God I'm not the only Italian maybe he can explain what the fuck is happening here
But then this fuvkass Italian guy pops into view 'BRO WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT MAJOR L MOMENT' diavolo thinks
"Johnny are you tormenting the patients again" he asks
"Lmfao nooooooo I would never" this guy with the thickest southern accent says who diavolo presumes is named Johnny
"IS OBE OF YOU PEOPLE HOUSE WHAT THE FUVK IS HAPPENING"
"Oh shit I forgot about the guy here whoops" the Italian guy says
"Well that's reassuring" diavolo responds in the most deadpan voice ever
Johnny surprisingly laughs a bit at this
"Man you should have seen him when we first met he was workin at a cafe an I wanned a blueberry muffin an a coffee but I ask this guy and for like 5 minutes he wa jus tellin me about the history of pizza like dawg I still haven't gotten my fuckin muffin bro😭🙏"
"WELL MY BAD FOR TELLING YOU SOME COOL FACTS AND TEACHING YO7 ABOUT MY GREAT ITALIAN HISTORY"
"Gyro honey baby darlin banana split my lil pizza mozzarella you cannot seriously expect me to believe that Italian history is just a pizza like I may be a stupid American but like bro I have totally picked up on some Italian words"
"NO WAY THATS CRAZY REALLY⁉️⁉️⁉️"
"yeah totally like I said I maybe a dumbass bitch but I ain't fuckin stupid"
"Sooooo you are a doctor" diavolo interrupts
"HELP ME BRO I FORGOT ABOUT THE PATIENT AGAIN" doctor guy yells
"💀🙏"
"Okay so hello I'm doctor zeppeli I'm really awesome and a very good doctor so don't worry" he says in literally the most professional tone ever
"Oh don't worry I'm not worried EXCEPT FOR THE FACT YOU FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT ME TWICE" diavolo has a based crashout but no-one cares
"Mmmmm not my fault Johnny was distracting me" zeppeli replied
"GYRO THE FUCK YOU MEAN IT WAS MY FAULT😭😭" Johnny said
"OKAY ENOUGH OF THIS JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME" diavolo screamed
Then before anyone else could say anything this guy with a cane walked in and just kinda looked a the scene
"Okay so we have a prostitute whose sick the doctor whose supposed to be taking care of him is just yapping with his boyfriend who literally isn't even allowed to be here and that doctor who probably should be fired but hey he gets results lmao just like me frfr" the noun man says
"Bruh why are you complainin abou me bein here you hangout with you boyfriend all the time at work as well and that's totally fine" Johnny sarcastically remarks
"You mean Wilson first of all we're not gay"
"Suuuuurrrrrreeeeee whatever you say buddio" Johnny said with a slight smirk
House sweats nervously
"Wilson is also literally another doctor unlike your pathetic ass who is only willing to be here if gyro is" house snaps back at him
"Dang bro first of all hospitals fucking suck and you know damn well that I am technically a patient here and the only way I can fucking tolerate this place is if I'm with gyro all day so i have to always be with him and he even agrees with me" Johnny said pointedly
House just rolled his eyes
Diavolo couldn't take this anymore more and pulled the plug on himself gyro was just lookin at him like "dang well like I understand but like yk we could heal you" then house made a joke to Johnny about how at least he could stand proud (YOOOO IS THAT A MOTHER FUCKIN JOJO REFERENCE) unlike some people in this room and Johnny responded by crushing his foot
Diavolo wakes up in a new world and golden experience requiem manifest
"Okay like you fucking sucked but you didn't deserve that" the stand says
"Yeah agreed" diavolo nods
"Okay so cool"
Diavolo looks around and now notices hes at a concert statum with FUCKING JOHNNY AND GYRO ON STAGE AS FUCKING GYRO IS SINGING A FUCK ASS SONG ABOUT PIZZA MEANWHILE JOHNNY PLAYS THE MOST ATROCIOUS BEAT IN HISTORY
I SWEAR TO GOD IF I EVER GET OUT OF HERE ILL FUCKING KILL GIORNO AND DANCE ON SOME RANDOM ASS PEOPLE'S GRAVES WHOSE NAMES ARE JOHNNY AND GYRO
THE END