Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You're growing tired of me

You love me so hard yet i still can't sleep

You're growing tried of me

And all the things i don't talk about

***

That morning when Lloyd woke up he turned on his side and checked the time, 19:22 the clock read. He had to get ready in eight minutes but he was just so..tired. He laid in bed just waiting, and then his phone started ringing, he turned it on to check , it was his father..HIS FATHER WAS CALLING.

He scrambled up to pick the call , “hello”? Lloyd called out hesitantly, the camera turned on and he saw his father in his pajamajas eating cereal. 

“Hello? What do you want” he sounded a bit annoyed.

 “ uh..you called me” “ Hang on a second. Let me- Hm. Must've butt-dialled you. Who is this?” Lloyd sighed, 

“It's Lloyd dad. Lloyd Garmadon, your son?”

Garmadon squinted and said  

“No. My son is totally bald and has no teeth.” Lloyd rolled his eyes,his father hadn’t seen him in years and this was their first conversation. 

“Yeah, well, surprise. I'm not a baby anymore.”  

“Duly noted. How old are you? You're seven, right, you're seven?” the age of when they last talked…

”Sixteen.” “huh” “Just add nine to that…” Lloyd muttered under his breath.

Garmadon cleared his throat “Well, good talk son.” 

as he moved to hang up Lloyd hurriedly headed to stop him “Wait, are you sure there, there isn't a special reason why you might've called me today, on this day, specifically, today?” he said hopefully.

“ Look, I didn't call you, my butt called you.” 

Oh of course, what was he expecting? Of course his father wouldn’t remember his birthday. “Well, no time to chat. Sorry, Dad has gotta go to work. I've got to get that Green Ninja.” Lloyd gulped “yeah..bye dad” “Glad the teeth finally came in. Buh-bye!” the moment it left his lips he hung up. 

Lloyd turned back onto his back, he didn’t want to get up.

          And like bad luck

 His alarm started ringing

He felt itchy

___________________________

As he walked into the school everyone glared at him, well glared more at him. It was probably because of the attack from his father over the weekend.

He got his locker and just as he was about to unlock it Nya, his locker mate, turned to him “hey, this is yours” and she handed him a piece of paper. Without opening it Lloyd already knew what was in it. It was the usual threats and how he should die along with his father. “They put it in the wrong locker again” “thanks” he mumbled, it's not like he wanted them to write them. When he looked back up she was already gone. He sighed and started walking to his first class. The itch was back

“Mr. Garmadon, you're late” his teacher gave him a scrutinizing look “I-Look I was-” he was cut of by the sound of paper ripping, his teacher held out a detention slip that she had wrote, and honestly what had Lloyd been expecting, he took the slip then went to go sit down. As usual the seats around him were conveniently empty.

The bells rang and Lloyd’s head went up at a record pace, he had fallen asleep he mused. Instead of going to the cafeteria for lunch he instead walked around the areas of school that were empty most of the time. But his luck wasn't great, so of course he ran into Kai. Kai is Nya’s brother, and he most definitely hates Lloyd. Kai sneered at him “What you doing here, it's almost deserted or oh wait, are you trying to make some evil plan with your daddy” his tone of voice sounded mocking

 “no , I just wanted to walk around.” he mumbled. Did he sound suspicious ? That wasn’t suspicious was it? He couldn’t tell.

“Oh sure and I'm the green ninja” Lloyd almost laughed out loud, funny. Kai must’ve sensed it or something because he slammed Lloyd against the wall hard. “ What's funny huh.” “no,nothing” Kai scoffed and let go of him onto the ground. “ Just stay out of my way, Garmadon freak.” As he walked away he mumbled” the apple doesn't rot far from the tree” Lloyd flinched.

Lloyd’s next class wasn't much better, they were going to do a worksheet when the alarm went off, his father was attacking…again “thanks Lloyd” everyone groaned at the same time Lloyd asked “can I go to the washroom” his teacher rolled her eyes and let him go

___________________________

“Hey guys what'd I miss” he said into his comm, he was finally in his area, “ just Garmadon thinking he can take over the city again “ he could just imagine red rolling his eyes, then white spoke up “ it is his son's birthday today, maybe it's something about that” wow, someone had actually remembered,well..it was for his father's evilness but hey, a free win is a free win. 

The fight against his father was..tolerable, he accidentally almost revealed his identity but all had went well.

They were now at sensei wu’s place “Ugh I hate that guy” Red mumbled “almost makes me feel bad for his son” Red snorts at the idea, “he goes to the same school as me but i’ve never actually talked to him” Blue says and everyone turned to him. “Blue you just told us what school you go to, we could find out your identity” White said Blue looked at them then said “well..I trust you guys and i don’t mind you knowing”.

Silence rippled through the room before “yeah, Blue’s right, i trust you guys” Cyan spoke , the others started speaking up too “you guys are cool” “I don’t mind” “it should be fine, i mean, as long as you guys aren’t secretly lord garmadon or something” Red joked and Lloyd flinched.

 “I have a problem with it” he said, he didn’t acknowledge he spoke until the others turned to him “what?” Black spoke “I-i don’t want to share my identity” “what don’t you trust us?” Red asked jokingly, but this wasn’t a joking conversion “YES, I don’t trust you guys” he yelled out, everyone looked hurt and he realised his mistake, he hadn’t meant to yell it but… “I’m sorry guys, I'm just not comfortable with you guys knowing my identity” The room was now coated in awkward and hurt silence. 

“I’m sorry guys i’ve gotta go”

( After Green left the mood fell. “ I hate saying this but would you guys mind sharing your identities without Green” cyan says hesitantly “i also hate to say this but i want to know you guys better, plus it would be easier ..right?” blue adds on.

“Fuck it , if Green doesn’t trust us thats fine with me, i’m fine with my identity being known” Red spoke up. “I’m not sure, i trust you guys but i don’t wanna do it without green” black said “I also agree with that” White agreed with Black. 

They did a vote, it ended up being 3:2 

“Well if were doing this i guess i’ll go first” Blue raised his hand as he spoke “i was the one to suggest it” he removed his mask

“Jay?!” Cyan said incredulously as she removed her mask “Nya!?” both Red and Blu-no Jay said with the same tone “wait you know Nya” Jay said “I'm her brother” Red said monochromly removing his mask as Kai “Holy shit why do all of you guys go to my school” Black had said, he and white has been surprisingly quiet , probably the shock. 

Black took off his mask and revealed himself as Cole, a quiet kid who normally stuck to himself. White was the last one to reveal hi

mself as Zane “Holy shit I knew you were a nindroid “ Jay exclaimed happily. )

Chapter Text

Lloyd stared up at the ceiling as he laid on the bed , was he too harsh on them? All they wanted to do was say they’re identities, they trusted each other. But…Lloyd didn’t, sure he’d trusted them with his life, he has many times ,but he couldn’t trust them with his identity. Way To ruin a perfectly good relationship, you always have to mess things up Lloyd.

He sat up and reached under his bed pulling out a razor. It was the only one he owned.

When his mom had found out about his…Extracurricular activities , she'd scavenged his room looking for razors or anything remotely sharp. But she'd neglected to look under his mattress.

He held the razor in his hand, did he want to do this, of course he wanted to, he deserved this. But did he want to do it.

He still remembers

“LLYOD WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING “ she screamed

" why are you going through my stuff "

“ANSWER THE QUESTION LLOYD YOU ARE CUTTING YOURSELF . YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF LLOYD "

“ YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO NOT ONLY HAVE YOUR FATHER NOT IN YOJR LIFE BUT TO BE BULLIED , HATED , HURT BECAUSE OF HIM TOO"

" Show me your wrists”

" What?”

" Lloyd i said show me your wrists”

" No”

" Lloyd i don't want to argue woth you”

" Then get out"

“LLOYD" she reached for his wrists and almost winced back when she rolled up his sleeves and saw his bandages " Lloyd”

"... Get out”

“Lloyd"

“GET OUT" Lloyd screamed as he pushed her out. Once she was outside he locked his door and fell face flat on his bed

Koko banged on his door “Lloyd, Lloyd you can't do this to me. I'm your mother…Lloyd please.” he could hear her slide against his door “tell me..where did i go wrong"

He can't do that to her. Not again at least.

***

The weekend had gone way too fast and it was now Monday. Why was his only question.

School had been…ok. And then the usual happened. A Garmadon attack.

When he logged onto his comm he stumbled onto…his team.

“Oh my goodness do you remember at school when Jay tripped and ate concrete” Red was laughing " oh shut up Kai. At least I didn't stumble over my words while talking to Skylor” and his heart dropped at Kai. He had a Jay and Kai and Skylor at his school.

Heck Skylor sits next to him in chem, he's pretty sure its one of the reasons Kai hates him…and Kai, his friend, the red ninja, has a crush on a girl named Skylor. He's so fucked.

“Did you giys fucking reveal your identities without me.” And the comms went silent. " Green wait,” white started, " save it.”.

After the fight was done Lloyd stomped into their hideout, the others following him silent and guilty. " You guys seriously fucking reveal your secret identities ,and i repeat secret, without me after i said i wasn't ready”

" Green” he turned to face who was talking he didn't even know who. All he did know was he was mad. “No shut up. Let me guess who you are since we're all revealing our secret identity huh.”

He pointed at red and said " Kai” he pointed at blue " Jay” he turned to cyan. He knew she and red we're siblings so she had to be " Nya” and so by association white was " Zane” and black was " Cole, and let me guess i got it right”

His ‘teammates’ removed their masks
“How could you guys” " “No, why are we acting like we're the problem, why can't you just trust us” Kai spoke up " This just proved exactly why I can't trust you”

“No it just proves that we can't trust you” Lloyd flinched. " I told you guys I'm not ready”." Oh great excuse there huh” Lloyd was starting to get upset, it was one thing to leave him out of this but to then disrespect his boundaries…

“why can't you just show us you. The real you" oh and that was funny " because you guys would hate the real me, you already do. I'm not popular or liked or just a person you'd wanna be friends with” Jay stepped up " hey , we love you because you're you. We'll accept you green, promise "" …guys I “ maybe, maybe he could trust them he removed his mask. They promised

“I-i'm Lloyd, Lloyd Garmadon"

And their faces morphed into disbelief, confusion, hate.Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate.

They hated him. And just spelled out his demise.

He couldn't see what their expressions were , no he wouldn't see. He had to run, run now and fast. He pulled his mask back down and bolted.

Chapter Text

Lloyd ran across the city in a daze. Why would he do that? He had told himself over and over that they would hate him and that he shouldn't do it and then he does. He didn't even register that he was home, in his room until his mom walked in. “Lloyd, are you ok…” 

His mom looked at him in shock and worry and an expression he couldn't figure out. But why would she look at him like that, did she finally realize what monster Lloyd was and how she should abandon him. How he should be dead and how she could live out her life. No. It was much much worse. And it dawned on Lloyd that he was still in his gi, his ninja gi, his green ninja gi of the secret Ninjago force. Shit.

“M-mom , mom, wait I can explain “ but could he really? Could he really explain to her that he was going behind her back like this. “Lloyd" she sounded surprisingly calm “answer me this. Are you the green ninja" he couldn't lie to her that would hurt her, not again, never again “yes” his voice sounded way smaller than he'd normally talk.

" No you're not.” What? He'd literally just confessed " if you're the green ninja that means you've been sneaking behind my back, getting hurt, lying to me…annd I didn't notice “ no wait she sounded hurt, Lloyd panicked , him telling the truth was supposed to make her not hurt but that just seemed to backfire “Lloyd…I want you, no I need you to quit” 

And Lloyd's heart, already shattered into pieces from when he was young, shattered into sand. “What mom I can't do that" her expression hardened " yes Lloyd, you can and you will. This is dangerous Lloyd, you are out every night fighting your father. I will not have that for you. You need to have a normal life”

 And Lloyd just snapped “My chances at a normal life disappeared the moment you decided you wanted to fuck that man " his mom gasped 

" Have you considered that I'll never have a normal life, that I like being a ninja instead of just ‘Lord Garmadon’s son’ ? Have you thought about that? No, you haven't, well why aren't i surprised “ 

 " Lloyd , your father was different back then plus you know very well I'm trying here okay, especially with your…condition.” 

 “You're trying, You're fucking trying, you know who else is trying, ME, and you don't get to fucking bring up my mental health in this conversation" 

“ Lloyd i am your fucking mother i will bring it up, plus can you fault me, what else do you want me to say, depression, self-hatred . Well I wouldn't know because you never wanted to get checked out.”

  " Uh, don't fucking turn this around on me, I never went to get checked out because no one would want to check me . I like being a ninja and I also like you not bringing up my issues. Plus you don't get to fucking talk after abandoning me at Durkleys Until i was 11”

" And I've told you I'm sorry for that, okay, how many times do you want me to say it, I'm sorry for leaving you, I'm sorry for falling in love with your father, I'm sorry for failing you and being a bad mother but that does NOT mean you get to undermine me like this and I'm sorry that maybe maybe your issues need to be addressed. For lord's sake you were cutting yourself Lloyd, you were cutting yourself and..and you had all these hateful thoughts, when I had to go through as a mother , as your mother ,knowing that part of your problems are my fault. It fucking hurts Lloyd. And yeah i said it maybe it won't hurt as much as your wounds but I have a right to feel hurt” .

As they were arguing they had gotten in each other's faces with Koko eventually pointing a finger at Lloyd after her last confession. She sighed before heading for Lloyd's door " You're my baby Lloyd and I know you won't always be, but let me take care of my baby for once Lloyd”

And she left. She left. Just like that night.

“Momma where are we going” a young , 3 almost 4 year old Lloyd asked 

“A place for you baby, you'll need to stay there for a while" Lloyd looked down. He couldn't really see much as it was dark

 " how long momma” he could here Koko smile as she spoke 

" not long baby, momma just needs to…check up on some stuff and I can't leave you alone" she booped his nose and Lloyd giggled and fell content in his mother's arms, drifting to sleep 

“love you momma" “...love you too baby" 

But Lloyd couldn't really feel mad at her. Never her. He would leave himself too. He was just that horrible. First you go and ruin your friendship with your friends. Next you go and ruin it with your mother. Great going Lloyd.

Lloyd removed his gi. He was too tired to deal with this anymore, too tired to cut or write or do anything except curl up in his blankets and just lie down. But heck even that hurt too. 

Lloyd Garmadon, Green Ninja, Son of Lord Garmadon, destroyer of relationships .

***

The next morning when Lloyd woke up he just felt. Tired. Oh so very tired. A tired that went deep into his bones, that made him feel too weak to get up, much less grip to his blanket. A tired that made him wish none of last night had happened.

Lloyd sighed and got up, only then noticing he was still in his gi. This damn gi, it had changed his life, now here it was changing it again once Lloyd had gotten comfortable. He quickly got ready putting on his signature outfit , but instead of a green sweater he decided to go with a red one. It was old and the back logo faded with love and use. It was from one of his favorite shows, Mystreet. But he couldn't reminisce about the past, not when the present, the future was staring down at him and laughing in his face. Today was gonna suck and he knew it.

His mom…wasn't home that morning, and Lloyd couldn't blame her. He would try his hardest to leave before he got up too. If only he didn't have to get up. 

The rest of his day went fairly normal. People avoiding him on the bus, sending glares and whispers at him

He only hoped he could avoid the other ninja…that hope soon vanished because as soon as he entered the school he could see them all waiting by his locker. Shit. Well he was gonna get the shit beaten out of him. He walked, slowly and without purpose to his locker. He knew they hated him, why delay the inevitable.

“Lloyd we need to talk" Nya was the first one to speak when he got close enough. But Lloyd didn't have enough energy to deal with this. He just wanted to lay down in bed until the darkness swallowed him whole. Until he was back in his father's caring arms that no longer seemed to exist.

He was pulled into an empty room by the others and just waited. “Lloyd we're sorry” Zane said " Zane” Jay hissed " what, we are sorry” Cole spoke up taking Zane’s side. " Ugh, what we're trying to say is, we're sorry. We should have never tried to force you when you clearly weren't ready. And we can sorta see why” Lloyd didn't get it. Why were they apologizing? They weren't in the wrong, he was.

He was Lloyd Garmadon , he was always in the wrong. He was always the one apologizing . Why. Why would they do that? Kai shuffled up to the front of the group, looking awkward and down “and I'm uh..sorry for forcing you i-i shouldn't have done that and um. I can see why, I mean I bullied you, I'm sorry for that too by the way , but yeah…I'm sorry.”

Lloyd shifted awkwardly before realizing he should probably respond. “Oh uh thanks guys.. I appreciate your apologies ..uh yeah “ he shuffled his feet and waited for their response. Fortunately they were saved by the bell ringing. They went their separate ways before realizing they all had the same homeroom. 

 ***

“Oh look" Chen said, placing a box of open milk on Lloyd's head. Lloyd had just been minding his business, keeping his head down and eating his lunch. That was the first bad thing, Lloyd wasn't supposed to be in the cafeteria but for some reason he thought he'd be fine today . The students around him at the other tables laughed and pulled out phones to record him. The teachers did nothing to stop it.

Lloyd's shook. He was just so tired , “aw, are you gonna cry, look guys I made Lloyd Garmadon cry , oh what are you gonna cry to dadd-" he was cut off. Lloyd lifted his head, the milk fell off him and onto the floor thankfully but that wasn't what he was focused on, what he was focused on was Kai beating the shit out of Chen. Lloyd's jaw dropped as he watched the others try to get Kai to one, stop beating Chen, and two, get put out of there. He noticed that Cole and Zane were missing but knew they were probably busy with something else.

Eventually they got him off and headed out of the cafeteria. Lloyd waited for a little while before getting up to go look for them. It wasn't that hard as they were at one of entrances, exists? Depends.

“Guys, what was that" he practically yelled, he wasn't expecting to be so loud. " What do you mean, I was defending you” " i mean yeah what Kai did was a little harsh it was still to help you.” Jay said hesitantly. " But I didn't need help” why couldn't the others see. " Uh, yes you fucking did . Chen was bullying you and no one was stepping in. Lloyd rolled his eyes " oh like you haven't done the same” he said before noticing how Kai flinched at the mention of how he used to bully Lloyd.

Lloyd sighed and ran a hand through his hair " look guys, I'm glad that you wanna stick up for me but don't. Weren't friends here, people will think its suspicious.” “But we are friends" Nya argued back " no you guys aren't “ and his voice was low and harsh " you guys are friends with the Green ninja , not Lloyd Garmadon, the Green ninja.” he ended harshly. He sighed for the second time in 5 minutes, damn the day was getting to him, “look guys ,i appreciate it and everything but just don't. You guys have never cared what happened to me, don't start now" before he could hear an argument he left the group.

Lloyd was just so tired. His right eye twitched remembering he has chemistry…with Skylor…and Kai. 

Fuck no

Fuck this.

Lloyd was skipping.

***

Lloyd walked the streets, hands in his pockets, head down. He didn't want attention right, more like the opposite of it.

He was minding his business when his phone started to ring. He looked at it and saw, his father calling?

Great, it was probably another butt dial. He hung up. But the phone rang again, that couldn't possibly be a butt dial right? So he picked up 

“Hello" 

" Hello Luh-loyd , how are you doing at the moment.” That was weird.

" Uh okay…enough" 

“Thats great, do you maybe wanna talk about anything" 

“What would we have to talk about" and that came out a little too harsh, but he couldn't help it. His father had left him for years and suddenly wants to know how he's feeling 

“Dad, just skip it. What do you want? “ He was so tired. Maybe he could get this over with quick 

" Well your mother called me…and I heard you had a very interesting conversation…. Do you hate me, Luh-loyd?” And he never expected he'd be having this conversation with his father. He spotted a nearby alleyway and lent on one of the walls “I uh..kinda… Dad, I won't lie and say that you've been there because you haven't. But I also won't lie and say that I love you even though I hate you and that I love you. You're my dad, it doesn't mean you're a good one. And honestly, I sometimes wish you weren't my dad” and wow. That was seriously honest of him. Why was he so relaxed and talkative with his dad.

“I…understand son… I-.. let me tell you a story, when me and your mother met it was like love at first fight, we were happy and fine with our life. Then you came along. The ugliest cutest thing ever and the first thing that came to my head was why is he so blond. Then the second thing I thought was I'd love you no matter how blond you were, that a single piece of hair wouldn't get hurt. But..your mother didn't want a life of evil and all these dangers, not for you Luh-loyd, never for you. So she left…. A-and i could've left too , i could've changed and been there, been a better father, husband, person. But I didn't. And honestly I don't regret my choice Luh-loyd. I'm happy, the only thing I regret was losing you and your mother with my choice. I know you probably hate me as much as you love me, but I love you so much… and I'm sorry I let you forget that

And don't you ever think, being the Green ninja changes that.” 

By the end of his story Lloyd was crying, full-body quiet sobs shaking. God. He wished everything were fine again, that he could go back to when life was peaceful with his whole family like his father had described. But it wouldn't. The world didn't like Lloyd. Never Lloyd. “ Good bye Luh-loyd, I love you" and he hung up Lloyd sniffed “I love you too Dad" into empty air. Gosh he was sure he looked like a mess.

***

Lloyd decided to head home, he needed sleep. When he entered the apartment he found his mother sleeping on the couch. He tried to slowly walk to his room, he was almost there when she called out his name “ Lloyd..baby, you there" “yes mom, I'm here" “let me feel your face Lloyd.

Lloyd walked towards his mom kneeling beside her on the couch and letting her take his face in her hands " Lloyd you're my baby, my wonderful, strong, brave, kind baby and I love you so much. Don't ever doubt that. I love you so much and I am so sorry about the argument last night. “ Lloyd couldn't believe, 3 apologies to him on the same day, all his past luck that had never been there must've been waiting for this day. “I-iys ok mom, I'm sorry too… I wanna get help mom, i really do momma” his voice cracked. Why did he have to love his parents so “but I don't…people” it was hard to explain in words. People would judge him but would ultimately see him as Lord Garmadon's son or sum it up to his father.

“I know Lloyd, I know baby. We can start slow" she pulled Lloyd up and into her arms and Lloyd allowed her. He needed this, no he deserved this. The day had been hard, he had cried enough for yesterday and today. He deserved this.

“If you want…you can, continue being the Green Ninja. I talked with your father he- he’s willing to be a bit more in your life if you want that” 

" Yeah…I do. I love you mom " "love you too Lloyd." 

*Few days later*

Lloyd's life has been going okay for the past few days, he's had apologies, learned the other Ninja's identities and people had been avoiding him at school because of what Kai did to Chen but it probably wasn't gonna last soon. People had already started shoulder checking him and insulting him but he planned to milk it for as long as he can.

He was on his way back home when Lord Garmadon attacked the city. Lloyd had gotten into his gi fast and headed toward the action. When he got there he couldn't believe what he was seeing. His friends were just standing there while Garmadon walked through the city on his mech. “Guys, why are you standing there" “ Lord Garmadon’s mech has a bomb strapped to it, he has threatened to blow up all of Ninjago city if we fight him. My analyzers say there is a 57.2 % chance that he will push the button and we can't take that risk” White said ever so helpful.

“Shit.. I'll see if I can distract him so one of you guys can get the controller." " You got it” they responded “be careful" Kai also threw at him. 

Lloyd snuck around the rubble and buildings in an effort to get closer to Lord Garmadon. " Hey Garmadon, what are you up to today, threatening Ninjago city for like what, the hundredth time.” Lloyd called out “,ah L-..green ninja, i see you've arrived” ",oh yeah I've done more than arrive” Lloyd watched as Nya managed to sneak onto the bomb now headed for the controller sitting on Garmadon's handle. He looked around and saw the others lifting people out of buildings and rubble and fighting some of Garmadon's minions.

“Oh yes I presume, and tell me, what's your plan to stop me” he mused , a normal person would've thought he was mocking Lloyd but for some reason Lloyd knew that tone was…encouragment, did he want Lloyd to stop him. “He doesn't need a plan, we've already beaten you" Nya exclaimed when she had the controller safely in her hand. Yes! And there wasn't much damage, Lloyd felt himself relax a bit before noticing a stray piece of rubble falling towards Nya, Nua seemed to not sense it, more focused on keeping the controller out of Garmadon's reach.

Lloyd was frozen and when he called out, it was too late “CYAN WATCH OUT " the piece fell on her dropping the controller face first , activating the bomb. 

The bomb exploded metal and Kevlar, flying everywhere, a piece of something had gotten stuck right on his forehead, lots of little pieces were also stuck to his face and body, not to mention how he got thrown back. As he fell he hit his back on a stray, sharp, slice of rubble on the ground.

Pain flooded his body, everything hurt ,it hurt so bad he just wanted to lay there until someone came to help him, he felt his vision go blurry before remembering that he wasn't the only one close to the bomb. Nya…Garmadon…His dad.

His eye's shot back open, gosh it even hurt to keep them open and slowly, but surely, he pulled himself up, absentmindedly he noticed that his right arm was limp and probably dislocated. He needed that arm, so he tore a piece of his gi off and bit down on it hard. He yelled when he popped his shoulder back in, it hurt. Tears pricked his eyes, but he couldn't cry now, he slowly started walking across the rubble of the explosion searching and looking until he spotted a bit of cyan in his vision. His vision was still blurry so he wasn't sure, but he needed to check anyway.

Thankfully it was Cyan, he picked her up, ignoring the way his body cried in pain, he almost doubled over. He slung her over his shoulder and started walking, slower , to where he could see his father's arm sticking out. Once he reached he had to use all his strength to lift the rubble off his father and also pick him up. And then he turned back and started limping back to where he was sure paramedics were judging from the bright lights. He was tired and his muscles were starting to fail him, he almost fell twice and he could barely see. But then he remembered that Cyan and Garmadon had worse injuries, that they were in much more pain than he was. That they needed medical emergency stat. 

Soon the dust cleared and the other ninja spotted him and rushed forward to help. Once they were close enough Lloyd let himself relax , Nya was safe, His dad was safe. He collapsed soon after.

***

It was bright .

Really bright.

Where was he

Was he still on the ground?

Were the others safe.

Of course they were safe.

Was he safe?

He was Lloyd Garmadon.

He would never be safe.

Everything hurts.

He wanted the pain to stop. To leave him alone.

He could hear people in the background.

His eyes slowly started to drift closed. 

He was too tired for this.

***

“Lloyd, hey, can you hear my voice" that was his…mom, yeah, his mom, why would she be there though, was she caught in the explosion. Did he need to save her? His eyes shot open 

He looked around and saw that.. they were in a hospital, huh. “Yeah, hey Lloyd, how're you feeling? They have you on a lot of medication right now so just to warn you anything you say will be taken with a grain of salt”. " Others''.He managed to choke out. Thankfully his mom knew what he meant “your dad is okay, he had broken a lot of bones in his body and was unconscious for a few days, he woke up yesterday. Your friend Cyan or Nya , well…She suffered the most of it. Not only did the rubble fall injure her back but the explosion also left her back severely burned among other things. A lot of her bones were broken and her leg is a bit disfigured. She'll still be able to use it but…” his mom paused pursing her lips " she got out of surgery a few days ago and woke up before ystill a lot. Firstly your forehead cut and blood dripped into your eyes, it was hard to clean, um and bits of the bomb had located themselves to you. You also had to go through surgery to get all the pieces out, 113 found in you. The doctors say there might be more they hadn't found so if you notice anything tell them. Oh and your arm, had to be splinted as you can see” he looked to his side and saw his right arm was splinted. “You must've also noticed it hurts to talk um, during the…explosion, the doctors said that you screamed a lot and that your vocal cords were damaged from the intensity of your scream and from the heat blast of the bomb. Nya has the same thing although she can't talk at all but her vocal cords will get better as will yours, your father is fire resistant as he is part oni and so the heat didn't do that much.”

His mom gasped and then grimaced , “oh Lloyd, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry I tried my best to keep it out of the press but…your identity was revealed. When the explosion happened your mask tore off enough for the helicopters to see your face. They know Lloyd” and suddenly everything changed.

His body felt heavier , the tiredness of the past few days weighing on him. All the lengths he went through. All the things he had sacrificed. And now the press and public were probably calling for his death.

“Wanna be ‘lone".he spoke quietly, his mom nodded, turned the lights down and left.

Lloyd just lay there, metaphorical head in his metaphorical hands. His life was ruined. “Just then the other. Ninja barged in, all of them fighting to get in first before Kai cleared his throat and came through with a wheelchair holding Nya. She waved at him, Lloyd didn't have the energy to wave back. “Damn you look like shit" Jay spoke up first " really good looking shit” Cole tried to save. They were all in regular clothes, no masks all looking tired and with a few Band-Aids on them that Lloyd could see.

“Thank you" Nya rasped out, Kai smiled " and I know we all.mena it when she says that, you saved both Nya and your dad and suffered all these injuries when you could've waited for help or walked away.” " You're a good person Lloyd " and oh…tears pricked at Lloyd eyes again, why were they so kind “um…your mom told us she told you the press knew about your identities “ Zane moved on , " there has been a crowd of paparazzi waiting outside for days. They wanna get a glimpse of you.

Lloyd winced. “Hey it's okay" we're in this together yeah “ Cole spoke up

“Hey, I could totally go for ice cream right now” Kai said nudgingly “, there is a back door exist”

Everyone smiled.

They went to this ice scream shop that they all went to sometimes after hot missions. They had ordered their usual, The others ordering for Lloyd and Nya as they couldn't talk, and sat down eating their ice scream.

Somehow a news station had managed to get a photo, and what the photo contained surprised a few people. 

Lloyd was on crutches eating ice scream happily , Nya was on Jay's back with Jay holding both their ice screams watching as Nya tried, and failed, to lick hers. Cole Kai and Zane were all arguing passionately about something, ice scream all over their faces.

They looked happy.

They looked like kids.

That shook ninjago.

They had been so used to being saved by these.. children,what else would they call them, they were children, saving them that the idea of them having fun had never crossed their mind.

***

“Dad?” Lloyd's voice was small as he crunched into his fathers room. “Luh-loyd" his father called right back “why" was Lloyd only question “why a bomb" his had looked up at him “the bomb was just there for show, I wasn't going to actually detonate it, I was waiting for you guys to steal the controller, you think I did see that cyan ninja sneaking right behind me. The rubble falling hadn't been planned or accounted for. I'm sorry Luh-loyd, I didn't expect this to happen.”

Lloyd crunched up to his dad and hugged him in his bed, “I love you…I miss you” one of his dad's hands went up to card through Lloyd's hair.” I love you too son”

And that was all the reassurance he needed.

***

" Are you sure you're ready Lloyd, you too guys, don't think that because you aren't Lloyd the news isn't going to go after you too” Koko fretted " we're fine mom” his voice was still raspy and he coughed sometimes but he was getting better “we've got this, we're ninja" the others grinned and they walked toward the door. When they opened the door, paparazzi lights were everywhere, a million questions were thrown, people were pushing and shoving trying to get the best picture.

Lloyd kept his head down and so did the others, they had an interview with Ninjago new and hopefully that'll clear everything up. They got in their car and arrived at the station. The receptionist sent them up immediately.

“Now on Ninjago news we have star guests, Kai the red ninja, Nya the cyan ninja , Jay the blue ninja , Cole the black ninja and Zane the white ninja and finally Lloyd Garmadon the green ninja. And I'm James Johnderson your host

Everyone waved when their name was called .

J. J:Now everyone is wondering a few things about the ninja and hopefully this can clear them up the news

Z: well yes we can only assume so

J:it feels weird sitting here and talking especially without my mask on Jay laughed nervously 

J. J: nodded and continued well we aim to ask all the important questions for starters, how old were you guys when you started and how old are you now

K:. I'll take this one as youngest one here than can speak he smirked we all were different ages when we started , uh Lloyd started training when he was around 12-13, me and Nya started when Nya was 13 and I was 15, Cole Zane and Jay started at the same age of 15 a few months after me and nya . Lloyd is the youngest followed by Nya,then me, then Jay, then Cole, and zane is the oldest

J. J: Wow, following all that we can deduce that the attacks started around 3 years ago, are you saying that Lloyd would've been around 12 at that time because that is just wild. A 12 year old!

J: yeah it is wild, i still remember when i was first asked, I fainted 

Z: I don't particularly remember when I was first asked. I don't think it was that eventful 

C:oh only you would consider being asked to be a ninja and master your elemental powers uneventful 

J. J: now we've got some individual questions, Cole, a lot of people have been wondering how your powers work

Cole smiled at being called first

C: Well my elemental power is Earth, now its really hard to control that earth and so what I do is I use sound waves and the constant shifting of the planet to my use. The sound waves I use not only make it easier to interact with the earth but to also make sure what I'm doing doesn't effect the earth in a way my powers aren't supposed to

J. J : wow so I'm guessing you have to put a lot of precise thought into it

Cole chucked 

C:, I do, it's tiring but I've gotten better over time and I can barely feel it.

J. J: Jay, how do you work around electrocuting yourself every time you use your elemental powers.

Jay: believe it or not but I actually have to use physics for it. Basically everything has an electrical charge and all I do is amplify it and control it, for example people, us humans have something called bioelectricity that is used by the nervous system to send signals, powers muscle contractions for movement and heartbeats, and is essential for all bodily functions. What I do is amplify that enough to electrocute someone while at the same time lowering or sometimes raising the amount of electricity in me before using it before it electrocutes me while also watching for how the electrons in an object or person react to it… And wow I've been rambling , I just think it's really cool

Jay blushed and the others smiled at his antics

J. J : Well I won't say that didn't bring me back to my physics class asking, when it'll be useful for me, at least it's useful for you.. Zane ,people wanna know how being a nindroid effects your ninjaing

Z: As a nindroid i will say that I find it a tad bit easier than I think my friends do, I have mountains of knowledge and was kinda programmed to control ice so it came as natural to me as anyone else, maybe even more natural. Although there are times where me being an nindroid interferes like if I'm shut down or hacked which doesn't happen often but has already happened more than twice. But each time we work to find the issue and make it harder.

J. J : that sounds great Zane, glad you could share with us, Kai, does your fire ever burn you

K: when I was younger and not that good yes my fire used to burn me. Whenever I practiced I always had to practice with a barrel of water next to me to soak my hands. Controlling fire is hard and can get dangerous quick, whenever I let go of my emotions or treated it too carelessly I would burn myself. I'm pretty sure I don't have fingerprints on anymore because of it but I'm glad I continued and never stopped trying.

J. J: what a story to behold. Lloyd, how does being Lord Garmadon's son affect your civilian life and as a ninja.

Lloyd sighed, he knew this question was coming, it was stupid to think they wouldn't ask

L: I won't really sugar coat it but yeah it sucks. I love my dad and he's okay but that does excuse the fact that he's evil. I get hate mail and hate graffiti, I get bullied in school and teachers don't care. There was even a point in my life life where I was suicidal for a while. I'm not…anymore, but yeah, it sucks that all of it happened because of who my father is, not even me, and I can't even count the amount of times people say the green ninja would beat me up and that he was so heroic and nothing like me even though he is me. I guess over time I started to separate Lloyd Garmadon from the Green ninja because it didn't feel like I was the same person.

J. J: I think this is a sign that no matter who you are people always get bullied, I'm glad you're out of that mentality and that you still care and keep a father-son relationship with your father

He skipped over asking Nya any questions as she couldn't speak except for a few words every minute and turned back to the camera 

J. J: That's a wrap people, we'll see you next time on Ninjago News

***

Back at home, where everyone was, sitting in front of the TV watching some movie sharing snakes and smiles Lloyd spoke up above the others “thanks for being my friends… I love you guys” and they all indulged into ‘I love you guys’ ‘you guys are my family’ and ‘aws’ as they snuggled closer in their snuggle pile.

Yeah all was well in Ninjago city, and Lloyd was finally happy. He didn't care what the public

thought of him or how to sneak off to harm himself. He was finally content. He was finally found where he belongs.

Life is good.