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Sakura didn’t really like going out to places. He didn’t like how people looked at him when he did. But if he went out with Kaji… he wouldn’t mind that. Is what he thought. Sakura was currently pacing about his room, engaging in a very rapid, and very distressed conversation through his phone with Nirei and Suo, who were on the other line.
“Sakura-san, we don’t think Kaji cares what you wear. He won’t care if you’re underdressed or overdressed, although I highly doubt that will be an issue but-” Nirei was unable to continue his attempt at talking some sense into Sakura, as he was interrupted, by none other than the bicoloured boy himself.
“You don’t understand Nirei. What if Kaji realises that I’m ugly?! I mean, I know I’m not great, but what if he realises that he was just deluding himself. What if he figures out that I’m not good enough for him, and I can’t be good enough for him, so I’ll never be good enough for anyone! And then he’ll dump me, and I’ll be all alone again!” Sakura finished his rant with a gasp, doubling over and crumpling to the floor, sinking into a defeated position on his knees.
There was a lengthy pause after the impromptu outburst, with Nirei unsure with how he should proceed, not wanting to provoke his friend any further. After a while, Suo broke the silence. “Sakura-kun.” He tried. “You know Kaji-san doesn’t think that.” Another lengthy pause. “I know.” Sakura whispered tentatively. “I know he doesn’t. And that’s why I’m afraid. I like him so much, and I don’t know what to do with it. I’m so scared he’ll leave me.” His voice started to quiver, his grip on the phone slackening, as unshed tears prickled in his eyes.
“That’s so brave of you Sakura.” Nirei stated. “You’ve been alone for so long. You’ve haven’t had anyone to be there for you for so long. You couldn’t find someone, but now you have.” Nirei seemed on the verge of tears himself, voice wobbling with emotion.
“You’re so brave Sakura.” Nirei reiterated adamantly, voice rising until Suo gently shushed him, giving Sakura a moment to absorb what he had been told. Suddenly, Sakura whipped a hand up to his face, giving it a firm slap, the sensation stinging subtly on his cheek from the impact. “Alright.” He said abruptly, rising up from his defeated position on the ground. “I think I know what I need to do now.” He was about to say goodbye to his friends, but his index finger hovered over the decline button. Sakura inhaled a deep breath.
“Thank you, guys. For everything.” He said softly. And with that, he hung up, excited to continue getting ready for his date with Kaji.
Kaji stood awkwardly outside of Sakura’s house, checking the time on his phone. Once, too early. Twice, still too early. But on the third time, when he couldn’t wait any longer, he rang the doorbell. The silence was deafening. Kaji being, well, Kaji, started to freak out about this minor detail. Sure, it hadn’t been that long since he had rung the doorbell, but it felt like decades to him. His mind started to spiral downwards, despair palpable throughout his thoughts as he paced back and forth outside the entryway to Sakura’s house.
Did I get the date wrong? He wondered, checking his phone for the umpteenth time. No, I didn’t. He let out a sigh of relief, clutching a hand over his pounding heart. When did his breathing get so rapid? He wondered, inhaling through his nose, and exhaling through his mouth in a feeble attempt to calm himself down.
Just when Kaji was about to message Hiragi a panicked; ‘he’s not answering the doorbell, what do I do?!’ Sakura opened the door, eyes widening upon seeing Kaji pacing nervously outside, a constipated look of anxiousness worn on his face, which seemed to disappear almost immediately after seeing Sakura.
“You’re here early.” He says in lieu of a greeting. “Uh.” Kaji said, hurrying to delete his panic induced messaged to Hiragi, grateful that his stupid finger didn’t hit send. “You look good.” Sakura stated plainly, blush tinging his ears and face a not-so-subtle pink. But he was right. Kaji did look good. He was wearing a tight grey t-shirt, with black, loose-fitting sport shorts draping downwards, fabric flowing past mid-thigh, and he had changed his usual beat up, old sneakers with crisp white dress shoes instead, tying the already breathtaking look together.
Kaji gulped audibly at the compliment, scrambling to find something appropriate to say back. “You look amazing too.” He said, and because that wouldn’t be enough to embarrass him, he added; “You look hot.” Great. He said to himself. There goes ‘appropriate’. He mentally slapped himself. Now it was Sakura’s turn to gulp. If he wasn’t blushing before, he most certainly was now, the blush flaring a bright red and trailing down the nape of his neck, disappearing below the collar of his baggy black shirt.
“I know I’m not as dressed up as you!” He sputtered indigently, covering his glowing face with his hands. Kaji’s embarrassed expression turned confused, gaping mouth twisting downwards into an alarmed frown.
“No, that’s not what I meant!” Kaji blurted out, attempting to rectify the situation by rushing up to Sakura, which in hindsight, was a terrible idea, and grabbing the hands that covered his face.
Sakura let out a noise of distress, as he was yanked by the wrists closer to Kaji, until his chest was pressed up against his. “You’d look good in anything, Haruka.” Kaji murmured softly against Sakura’s ear, burying his face into the crook of his neck. Sakura’s body went slack, as Kaji, ever oblivious started to whisper compliments, and praise into Sakura’s ear, warm breath ghosting over the sensitive lobe, causing Sakura to shudder as the endorphins flooded into his brain, washing over him.
After a while, Sakura seemed to be fed up with this sudden display of affection, pulling his hands free only for one to snake around Kaji’s waist, while the other cupped around his cheek, resting his forehead against Kaji’s. Never one to be outdone, Sakura smashed his lips down onto Kaji’s, causing him to let out a gasp that had Sakura smiling against their lips.
Kaji recovered quickly, tangling a hand in Sakura’s hair, mixing together strands of black and white, grasping them in his fingers. Sakura took this opportunity to nip at Kaji’s lower lip, asking for a silent permission to go further, leaving Kaji happy to oblige. As soon as Kaji’s lips parted, Sakura pushed his tongue inside, licking every part of Kaji’s mouth, causing them both to let out a soft moan in tandem.
Kaji’s knees started to buckle as the kiss deepened, but Sakura gripped his arm tighter around Kaji’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer. This act left both of them gasping for air, with Sakura being the one to pull away first, looking away with a flustered expression on his face. Kaji smiled reverently at the sight, leaning in to press a fond kiss to Sakura’s forehead.
“C’mon.” He said softly, breaking Sakura out of his bashful state. “We should get going.” And with that, Kaji promptly turned, grasping Sakura’s hand in his and lacing their fingers together and pulling a flustered Sakura along.
Kaji reached into his pant pocket, pulling out a set of keys, and pointing it in the direction of a silver car, unlocking it with a click. Kaji, ever the gentlemen, opened the door for Sakura, bowing in an overexaggerated manner. “After you, monsieur.” Sakura scowled, and reluctantly stepped into the car, muttering something that sounded distinctly like ‘get fucked’ before heading inside and shutting the door, leaving Kaji outside grinning like an idiot.
After a surprisingly short drive, with Sakura only complaining about Kaji’s driving capabilities once, they make it to the destination where they would be having their date, the strawberry farm. Sakura’s eyes widened in awe as Kaji drove past the entrance to the farm, past the sign with the words, ‘Welcome! Strawberry picking up ahead!’ scrawled across in big, loopy, forest green letters.
“How did you find this place again?” Sakura asked Kaji, watching out the window intently as rows of strawberry bushes appeared in sight. “Umemiya-san told me about it; he went here with Tsubaki.” Kaji replied, a fond smile creeping on to his face at the realisation that Sakura was enjoying himself. He mentally wrote down a reminder to thank them both later, as he pulled into an empty parking space, causing him and Sakura to have to get out of the car.
As soon as Kaji had so much as pressed the lock button, Sakura materialised next to him, grabbing his boyfriend eagerly by the wrist and pulling him along to where people were crowding around a stack of cardboard boxes. “Come on Kaji, come on. Let’s get two boxes!” He exclaimed, smiling back brightly at him. Kaji’s heart, already weak for Sakura skipped a beat at the sight of Sakura’s childish expression, face glowing euphorically, radiating genuine happiness.
Kaji was hopelessly in love, but he didn’t mind one bit. As long as he got to see the person he treasured most smile like that.
“Okay, okay.” He replied after Sakura started looking at Kaji suspiciously, as if he knew the other was thinking about him. “Let’s get going, then.” That was all the encouragement Sakura needed, as he continued to pull Kaji in the direction of the boxes, weaving through the crowd, Kaji muttering the occasional curt, ‘excuse me’ or ‘coming through’.
“Boxes acquired!” Sakura announced loudly, holding his above his head and letting out a whoop of excitement. “Now let’s go strawberry picking!” Sakura started marching in the direct of the strawberry shrubs, with a love-struck Kaji in tow.
“You sure know a lot about strawberry picking.” Kaji remarked. “Have you done it before?” As soon as the question left his lips, Kaji knew he fucked up. Sakura’s carefree and happy expression quickly dimmed, smothering all light and excitement that was there previously and replacing it with cold anguish, the past pain, and torment radiating from Sakura, as his posture hunched over, eyes glazed over and unreflecting emotion, his true feelings hiding behind a mask of indifference.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Kaji said immediately. Great. He thought to himself. Why did I say something as insensitive as that?! Unaware of Kaji’s war with himself, Sakura let out a tentative sigh. “The kids at my old school used to always talk about going with their family.” He stated, voice devoid of any feeling. “They used to only talk about it in front of me.”
Kaji audibly gasped, feeling a sudden urge to hug Sakura tightly and never let go. He didn’t forget that Sakura didn’t go to Furin initially, it just…. Never occurred to him that his previous experiences impacted him so deeply. Which was a dumb idea, because of course they still affected him! It took him ages to open up to his classmates; it took him ages to form any emotional connection at all! Kaji was in disbelief of himself. How could he forget how Sakura reacted when Kaji confessed his feelings?
‘Look, if you’re gonna joke around with me, could you not do it about my feelings?’ Kaji remembered. Sakura didn’t believe that he could be loved back then. He had accepted it a bit more now, but he still didn’t fully believe it. Those people had scarred him so fucking deep, that it affected his own perception of himself. Kaji bunched his hand into his shirt to stop it from shaking. How could someone do that to him?
Sakura mistook Kaji’s anger on his behalf, for anger that was directed at him. He lowered his head in shame, not wanting to see the resentful expression on Kaji’s face. “I’m sorry.” Sakura whispered. “I’m sorry I’m not normal. I’m sorry I’m like this, I’m sorry I’m a-”
“Don’t.” Kaji cut Sakura off, voice firm and unrelenting. “You have nothing to be sorry for. They do. They hurt you. Changed you. Left you feeling alone, and unwanted. How dare they make you feel that way. They don’t have the right.”
Sakura raised his head to look at Kaji, only to be met with pleading eyes that burned bright with anger- on his behalf. Anger towards the people who had forced Sakura to be like this. Hard. Tough. Cruel. Unrelenting. They had forced him to become the monster they made him out to be. But that had changed when he came to Makochi. The people here didn’t see him as a monster that needed to be contained, they saw him as a person. And that was all Sakura had ever wanted to be seen as.
Kaji took in the sight before him. Sakura was there. Mask shattered, and all his bones, faults, layers, were laid out before him. He looked… vulnerable. Afraid even. Like Kaji would take a look at who he was behind the mask and turn away. However, there was one crucial piece of information that Sakura had missed. Kaji fell in love with the person behind the mask. The person whose eyes lit up when they were happy. The person who does everything to protect his friends. The person whose laugh could light a thousand candles with its warmth. That was the person Kaji had fallen in love with. And that was the person here with him today.
So, Kaji did the thing he had wanted to do, ever since he had seen Sakura’s pained expression the first time he met him. He pulled him in for an embrace. The hold was tender. It wasn’t their first hug, but it was the one that was most full of emotion. Kaji held Sakura like he was something special, and Sakura held Kaji like he was a lifeline. It didn’t matter that they were in public, and that everyone could see them. The longer they held each other, the more the background began to fade, leaving them. Only them.
“I love you, Haruka.” Kaji whispered softly, like it was for Sakura’s ears, and Sakura’s ears only. “I love you too, Ren.” Sakura whispered back, without hesitation and full of feeling. Kaji couldn’t help but smile with reverence at that.
Although neither wanted to pull away, Kaji could tell that despite what Sakura would inevitably protest, he really wanted to go strawberry picking. After mulling it over in his head multiple times, Kaji made the mature decision of pulling away, after hearing Sakura’s soft whine of protest, he regretted his decision slightly but knew what had to be done.
“C’mon Haruka. You want to pick at least some strawberries, don’t you?” Kaji remarked lightly, fondness still managing to seep through his voice as he nudged Sakura playfully with his elbow. Kaji knew he had made the right call when Sakura’s face lit up at the prospect of going to collect strawberries, regaining its former glory. “Of course I do!” He protested indigently. “But I betcha I can pick more than you!” Sakura boasted boldly.
“Oh yeah?” Kaji replied, taking the bait that Sakura had set out for him. “Well, let’s have a race then! Whoever’s box weighs the most, gets to drive home!” Sakura grinned cockily. “Okay then! Be prepared to lose passenger princess!” With renewed vigour, Sakura hoisted up his box, with Kaji scrambling to follow suit.
“1, 2, 3, go!” Sakura raced off ahead, box in one arm as he leapt over rows of bushes. “Hey!” Kaji protested. “Not fair! You started early!” And with that, Kaji raced off after Sakura, both feeling lighter than they had… ever.