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"Who is that, daddy?" Lizzie's little voice asked Eddie as she wandered into his music room while he was writing songs for Corroded Coffin's next get-together.
Eddie always took time for both of his kids; to talk to them, explain things to them, or just give them his undivided attention for any reason; no matter how busy he was. Lizzie was at that age now where she was beginning to ask questions about everything she saw. The picture of Wayne holding her not long after she was born had been in this room since it was taken, and she'd seen it before. They'd talked about Wayne around here, but who knew what a toddler remembered? This was just the first time she asked.
"That's Grandpa Wayne, sweetheart," he answered gently as he set his guitar aside. Steve was chaperoning a field trip for Jackson's class, you were at work, and he always cherished the times he had with her one on one. "Come here," as he picked her up and held her. She was almost 3 now, when the world is a wonder and questions abound. She was the best combination of two of the people he loved most in the world- you and Steve. Her sparkling hazel eyes were fixed on the man who had loved all of them, and whose only regret in life was that he couldn't stay.
"That's you, there's Mommy on one side, and Jack on the other. I think it was about a week after you were born, maybe two," he smiled down at her as she snuggled in his embrace. "Grandpa Wayne was really sick, so we had to be sure it was ok." You had been sick too, and your pregnancy monitored closely. "Where's you? Where's dada?" He kissed the top of her dark auburn head, another Harrington trait that hadn't been seen for quite some time, and if things went like they did, likely would not be.
But this wasn't a moment to think about his in-laws, Eddie knew. Their loss.
"Me and dada were sitting across from you. Dada took the picture." "Oh," she said softly, and buried herself in Eddie's arms. It was the sweetest feeling. He would always be in awe of a dream come true, whatever kismet had brought you all together, and the love that came with it. It hadn't been easy. Still wasn't. This question would be among the easiest, Eddie knew.
"He loved you and your brother a whole lot. I think you were his favorite people in the whole world," tapping her nose, getting a giggle out of her. "Where is he?" she asked very seriously in spite of it.
How could Eddie respond? He really didn't believe in any afterlife stuff or gods or religion. She and Jackson were too young to worry about things like that, but Eddie always figured if there really was a Heaven, Wayne deserved to be there.
"He's in a really beautiful and peaceful place, where he got better and will feel good forever." Cheesy, Munson. Great. Lizzie was quiet for a moment. "Like a garden with flowers? And a house?" Thank you. He didn't know how he would handle a philosophical conversation about life and death just now with a toddler. They'd been to the cemetery to visit and place flowers; Jackson understood, but either Lizzie had no conscious memory of it or had slept during it. "Kind of like that," Eddie replied sweetly. At some point she might as to visit, or want more details, he knew. But for now....
"Lizzie, look! I got you a present!" Jackson came running into the room when he and Steve arrived home from his field trip. They'd gone to a big science museum a couple towns over, and handed her an astronaut teddy bear, took her hand to follow him into the living room to show her a dinosaur set he got. "Babe, you'll never believe who still works at that museum, Jamie...."then Steve saw Eddie's somber face.
"Eddie, what is it?" Eddie wiped his eyes a little and sniffed. "Lizzie asked who Wayne was for the first time", pointing to the picture. Steve came and put his arms around his husband, remembering that day when he took the picture, and how much time had passed. Eddie told Steve what he told their daughter, and wondered if it was the right thing. "Of course it was love, you told her the best way she could understand, and she'll grow up learning Wayne was someone who loved her, and all of us, very much."
By then, you were walking in the door as well; marveling at Astronaut Bear and several dinosaurs having "movie night" in the living room. You smiled to yourself and went looking for your husbands, finding them in Eddie's music room. The guys would be meeting up to practice soon and putting on a couple of shows at the Hideout. The mood was somber, and before you could ask, they told you.
Lizzie would grow up knowing who Unc and Jake were, and Jackson's memories of Wayne would be limited to when he was so little. Seeing that memory in a frame, a literal snapshot of time, made you remember all the loving memories since the time you'd met him. I know you don't need someone looking out for you dear, but I love you as if you were my own. I set those boys right about how they were with you. I think they'll behave now. From the awkward ways Eddie and Steve had been with anyone else you had dated, to the awkward moment sitting at Wayne's table announcing you were pregnant with Jackson, he'd been the most loving father figure to you aside from Unc, and how could anyone have too many people who loved them?
In that moment you were all crying among listening to children laugh together over the result of all the love that had been given to you. You wished Wayne could see it. Maybe he did. You let yourself believe just that.
Later at dinner, Steve brought up Jamie again, who was still the science director at the museum he was working for the day you met when Dustin sent him to set up the computer system for your gallery. "He's still pretty good-looking, if I do say so myself," Steve teased lightly, drawing some ire but a smile and eye roll from Eddie. You smiled, too. There were no hard feelings with him, but you had sometimes wondered what your life would look like had you married him. Nothing like it did now, and you were forever grateful.
You tucked Lizzie in that night with Astronaut Bear after a story. "There he is," she suddenly perked up, having been on the verge of sleeping. She was looking just beyond your shoulder. "Who is that, sweetheart?" You were genuinely curious. "Grandpa Wayne," pointing to a corner of the room. You saw no one. "He was in the picture, now he's here." You knew children had vivid imaginations, yours were no exception, but especially toddlers. Maybe she'd been having a lucid dream as she was falling asleep, or just making it up. Or maybe it was something else.
"Well, you tell him that Daddy, Dada, Jack and Mommy love him very much, ok?" You kissed her forehead, and she muttered a quiet "ok". As you walked out of the room, you could almost feel it. A presence, a warmth; reassurance that Wayne was at peace. Was that a whisper of I love you? You were hearing things, surely.
You looked back at Lizzie in the pale glow of the nightlight, smiling and laughing softly with her eyes looking toward the ceiling.
Maybe you weren't.