Work Text:
"Ouhhh... Germany..." Italy was moaning and whining like a little bitch.
"What is it?" Germany turned his head towards Italy, concerned for his hubby wubby alpha uwu
"I think I ate too much pasta..." A loud, roaring fart tore through the room, louder then how Germany yells at Italy for being absolutely shit at training.
"OH MEIN FUCKING GOTT ITALY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS IN THAT PASTA?? THAT STINKS WORSE THAN A MIDDLE SCHOOL BOYS LOCKER ROOM HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT??"
"I DON'T KNOW GERMANYYYY I THINK IT HAD SPAGHETTI, BOLEGNESE, CHEESE AND SOME OTHER FOOD I CAN'T REMEMBERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!"
"ITALY YOU DUMB FUCK YOU'RE LACTOSE INTOLERANT WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EAT CHEESE??" Their yelling was suddenly broken as Japan walked into the room, saying about something and I don't fucking know what he's gonna talk about because I, the author, am not creative enough to actually fucking think of what Japan's gonna talk about and I have a shit ton of homework to do so just pretend he's saying something
Japan was immediately cut off by the absolutely fucking minging smell invading his nostrils. He quickly plugged his nose and began talking again, "NANI WHAT IS THAT SMELL IT SMELL LIKE CAT DIED," Italy had no choice but to respond. "Sorry Japan, I ate too much pasta and now I'm incredibly gassy!"
"Did someone say my name?" HOLY FUCKING SHIT INCREDBLE GASSY IS HERE
"Incredible gassy, ve~! I never thought you would be here!"
"Well of course I would be here! Your-" Another fart from Italy tore through the room, somehow even fucking louder than the first one. Jesus christ, it sounded like a fucking ship horn.
"Wow, Italy! That was truly remarkable! Even a gas lord like me couldn't be gassy on such a high level like that!"
"V- ve?! Are you handing me over the- ouhhhh- the title of the gas lord?!" Italy farted several times throughout that sentence.
"Yes.. if you want. But, be warned..." Incredible gassy went dead serious for a second. "Once you have the title of the gas lord, you'll always be gassy no matter what."
"Ve?! No! I'm not doing that! I want to be with Germany and not be gassy!" Italy fought back, determined to not be the gas lord now. Italy looked over at Japan, then Germany, just to see them both passed out on the ground from how fucking putrid the stench is.
Like 6-7 hours later
"Germany! Ve~! I thought you were gonna be passed out forever!"
"Ja, ja, I'm fine. Just don't eat cheese."
"Okay, Germany!"
They then sloppily make out and have 729 mpreg babies, Germany being the carrier of course. The end.