Chapter Text
Life wasn’t easy for Till growing up. His mother passed away from a heart disease when he was younger and his uncle who took guardianship over him was nothing short of the devil. His uncle was always drinking and smoking, passing the time by gambling and having sex workers come over. Whenever the sex workers would come Till was kicked out of the house until the next morning. Till was a very skinny kid, his uncle never fed him properly and always used his paycheck on alcohol, cigarettes, or paying the sex workers. Till never had clean clothes and always smelled like smoke. Whenever he attended school the other children avoided him like a plague. The teachers tried to help him, but because of the controversies with teachers being inappropriate with students nowadays, they were limited on what they could do. Social Services were called multiple times, however they never once showed. Till learned that the world wasn’t all cupcakes and rainbows and resented it for being so cruel. Till vowed to himself that if he would ever become a father that he would take care of his kid and be the father he wished he had.
Life was always boring for Ivan. Growing up Ivan was raised to be picture perfect. His father was the CEO of a model agency, while his mother was a renowned singer. The two were considered a power couple and the media was always over them. Because of this Ivan was taught at a very young age to be perfect. He was always monitored when it came ot what he ate, he wasn’t allowed to lose or gain weight. His hair was always combed neatly, his clothes sharp, and his steps ever so graceful. He was forced to study hours at a time to become top of his class, he was trained to speak in only a respectful and polite way. He never had the time to life and relax. He was always monitored and trained to be the perfect son, brother, and husband. Even though he was rich and had everything anyone would want, but he never received any kind of love. His parents never showed their love and since his older sister was being treated the same way she didn’t know how to show love either. Ivan vowed to himself that if he ever had a son he would love them and give them the freedom he wished he had.
Till and Ivan met when they were only in the fifth grade, and even though they had very different lives, they found comfort in one another. Till showed Ivan what it meant to be free and to break the rules from time to time. What it meant to live life to the fullest and to enjoy the time spent with friends and family. Around Till, Ivan was never the perfect boy but rather a normal person. Ivan showed Till what it meant to be spoiled and cared for. Ivan always showered him with care by spoiling him with food and gifts. Till learned that there are people out there that do care, that do want to help the less fortunate. Till never felt ashamed or embarrassed around Ivan. All he felt was seen and heard. The two showed the other certain things that they longed for. And by their first year in high school they became romantically involved.
At first the two were terrified of being in a romantic relationship. Ivan didn’t know how to show love nor receive it. Till wasn’t sure how to show care to Ivan and to be gentle around him. The two didn’t know how to be in a healthy relationship, but regardless they tried. Ivan loved Till more than himself. Till loved Ivan more than life itself. The two were complete opposites and had a lot of growth to do, but they did it together. Ivan learned how to show his love and what a genuine smile felt like. While Till learned how to set his guard down and let others in. The two shared their first kiss during New Year’s Eve and decided to take it to the next level. By their second year of high school they started to experiment together and learned how to take care of the other during their sensual times. Step by step, month by month, they learned how to take care of one another. How to hold the other, console them, and express their emotions.
By their final year in high school the two gave each other promise rings. They made a vow to one another that once they finished college they would get married and start their next chapter together in a shared forever home. Their friends supported them along the way and always encouraged them to learn new things about one another. They were a major reason that Ivan and Till worked so well together. Because they both had friends to lean on and vent to when they were nervous or scared.
In college Ivan studied Business for his father and mother. Earning a Master’s in Business Management to one day take over his father’s company. Till studied for the arts and got his Bachelors in Fine Arts and Bachelors of Music. The two had a steady relationship throughout college and remained by each other’s side the entire time. When they both finished school they got married off the coast of Jeju Island, with their closest friends and family attending the small ceremony. For their honeymoon they traveled the world for a couple of months before coming back home to South Korea and settling in Seoul. In the middle of the big city, they bought themselves a spacious studio apartment. The two loved their home and made use of every room. Ivan used one room for his office, Till used one for his art and music studio, the two used the biggest room for their bedroom, and last had one empty bedroom reserved for guests. Their kitchen was a bit small but Ivan found it to be the perfect size to cook. Their living room was a decent size and had a giant flat screen TV which they used to watch Till’s favorite music videos of popular bands and idols. Their home was decorated to both their liking and after a few months of moving in they got a few animals. Till got a pet cat named Star, she was a Persian Cat that loved to play with Ivan. While Ivan got an Agouti Husky named Lunar, a fierce boy who was very protective of Star and Till.
The two were perfectly happy with one another and loved the life they built. Their family was complete.
Or so they thought.
“Ivan, have you seen the media lately?” Till sat at the dinner table scrolling on his computer as he took a sip of his coffee. Ivan who was over in the kitchen cooking breakfast hummed slightly, “No dear. Did something happen?”
“There’s been a decrease in adoption for children.” Till scrolled even more. “I mean just look! This website shows all the orphanages in South Korea and each one is filled to the brim. And that’s not even including all the children in foster care. I mean these poor kids-” Till took a deep breath trying to calm himself down.
“Instead of people giving birth to children, what if they adopt instead? I mean every child deserves to be loved and cared for.” Till looked over at Ivan who was plating their breakfast.
“I agree, dear. Every child deserves a home. Unfortunately when it comes to adoption people only want toddlers or babies. No one wants pre-teens or teenagers.” Ivan walked over and placed a plate of food next to Till’s computer. Till slowly closed his laptop and felt his heart break into pieces.
“Even teenagers deserve love. But once they turn 18 they are kicked out of the foster care program or the orphanage and must fend for themselves. It’s just so sad! Ivan-” Ivan had cut Till off my placing a kiss on his lips. Till reached out and caressed his husband’s cheek. Ivan held Till’s hand that rested on his cheek and pulled away slowly.
“Dear, have you calmed down a bit?” Ivan took his seat next to Till. Till nodded as his thoughts started to calm down. “Yes, I am.” Ivan smiled as he watched Till eat little by little. He took a sip of his own sweetened coffee before holding Till’s hand into his own.
“We’ve said that our family is complete. But if what you feel inside means that we should consider expanding our family, I wouldn’t mind at all.” Till nearly choked on his food at Ivan’s proposal. Ivan noticed and he left out a small laugh, looking away to avoid getting Till worked up. But of course Till noticed.
“Hey,” Till reached over and tugged gently on Ivan’s long sleeved shirt. “Do you mean it? Could we really expand our family?”
The two sat in silence for what felt like hours, thinking over everything. If they did decide to expand their family, would they truly be able to handle raising a child of their own? The two didn’t have perfect home lives growing up, one was abused physically the other emotionally. Could two people who were considered emotionally unavailable for years, who always had their barriers built up, be able to raise a child? What if they decided to adopt more than one? Could they truly handle raising children? What if they aren’t meant to be parents? What if they end up screwing up their relationship? What if they turn out to be bad parents and hurt the children? Questions upon questions continued to fill their minds, anxieties started to spout and it wasn’t long before Till suffered the most from these thoughts.
“Our past does not define us.” Ivan broke the silence. Till shook his head, clearing his thoughts, as he looked up to meet his husband’s gaze. “We know what it feels like to be abandons, vularable, dettached, and unloved. We know just what not to do to make our child, or children, feel the way we did growing up. We might not be the perfect set of parents, but we can certainly try to be the ones that are there for their children.” Ivan reached over and wrapped his arms around Till, holding him tightly. Till wrapped his arms around Ivan’s neck and let out a few tears.
“Thank you Ivan. . . I truly want to adopt a child and grow our family, I want to become the father that I never had. I want to give another person the love they deserve, the love that I had from my mother.” Till sobbed softly into Ivan’s shoulder. Ivan rubbed Till’s back soothingly, kissing the top of his head. “Me too dear, I wish to become the parent that shows up. That shows that they are listening, paying attention, and always there for them when they need it. It might be a bumpy road at the start. But knowing the both of us, our relationship, I know everything will be just fine.” Till nodded.
“After I get off work today we can look online at some orphanages and foster care programs. Okay my love?” Ivan whispered. Till only nodded, but a smile was plastered on his face.
We get to become parents. I never thought someone like me would be so privileged to have a family with the love of my life,
“Woah you and Ivan are gonna adopt!” Mizi was practically overjoyed with the news she had just received from Till. Hyuna smiled as she nudged Till, “Look at you! My son is growing up so fast!” Hyuna wiped away a fake tear.
Till just rolled his eyes at the two girls being overdramatic. “You two are so weird. But yes, we decided we are going to raise a child. Well, we aren;t sure how many yet maybe one, but we are gonna talk about it more after Ivan gets off work.” Mizi took a sip of her blueberry smoothie, a smile placed brightly on her face. After eating breakfast with Ivan this morning, Till spent a few hours emailing clients and booking appointments for them when he decided to go out to get a sweet treat with Mizi and Hyuna. After talking about their social lives, Hyuna dropped the news that she and Luka were deciding to try and have a kid. Mizi said her and Sua weren’t ready yet, so the two girls asked Till. Which is how they ended up to their very moment.
“Aw! Do you guys want one or two? Or maybe even more?” Mizi smiled at the idea of Ivana and Till having a large family. Till flushed red, “W-We don’t know yet! We barely discussed even having a child this morning.”
Hyuna nudged Till, “I get that. But how many do you ideally want? Like growing up, did you ever have some sort of idea?” Till slowly nodded, thinking back to the past. When he was in high school he was like everyone else who was in a romantic relationship, day dreaming about what life would be like with their lover. For him personally, Till imagined adopting at least two boys and two girls. An older brother, a set of fraternal twins in the middle, and a younger little girl. Till let out a small cough before answering Hyuna’s question, “Well in total maybe like four kids?”
“Four?! Damn you must really like kids if you want that many!” Hyuna laughed loudly, meanwhile Mizi chuckled quietly. “I think it’s cute, Hyuna. I mean that Till is a family guy. You can hardly find those types of guys nowadays.” Till blushed at the comment and took a sip of his drink.
Am I really a family guy?
While Till was seeing Mizi and Hyuna, on the other side of town Ivan sat at his desk annoyed alongside Sua and Luka. The work day started off pretty good until Sua came with bad news. The company that was supposed to work with them in the stock unit ended up committing fraud and now the company was without a stock market supervisor. Not only that, Luka also had some bad news. Luka had to tell Sua and Ivan that today’s lunch plans had to be canceled due to the lower managers spending the budget on new coffee machines rather than a nice company lunch.
Sua rubbed her temples as she scrolled on her computer looking over data reports, “So you’re telling me that not only do we not have a stock market supervisor, but that we also don’t get the company lunch because those imbeciles spent the money on coffee machines?!” Luka nodded as he leaned back in his chair debating on quitting or not.
“I was totally looking forward to all those cake slices. But no, because they decided coffee machines are more important than top tier cake slices.” Luka sat straight up and looked at Ivan. “I petition we fire those assholes.”
Ivan let out a small laugh as he typed away on his computer. “I really wish we could but then that would be unfair. I’m trying to write a email to our HR department to see if they can send over some more money so we can still have that company lunch today. I too was looking forward to trying out those cake slices. And I am also looking for a stock market supervisor because without one those workers will slack off all day. Causing the workload to fall behind and we won’t be getting the data in time.” Ivan sighed as he typed email after email.
“Oh by the way Ivan, mother and father wanted me to ask if you and Till are ever gonna have kids.” Sua looked up to meet her brother’s gaze. Ivan stopped typing and a soft hue covered his cheeks. Luka noticed and smirked slyly, “Oh is the big boss finally gonna settle down and have kids?”
“Well actually me and Till just talked about the matter this morning. We decided to look into adopting a child.” Sua’s eyes widened a bit, surprised that her brother was actually thinking about having a family. Luka found himself smiling at the thought of Ivan and Till having a kid. The two did not look like they would have kids, they are too scary at times. The more Luka thought about it, the more excited he got to have a kid with Hyuna. “Well if you do adopt congrats. I’m sure you and Till will be wonderful parents.”
“Luka I can hear the sarcasm behind your voice.” Luka mocked offense as he crossed his arms. “I meant it. I think you and Till will try your hardest to make sure the child receives all the love and care they deserve.” Ivan cocked an eyebrow, he had never heard Luka sound so supportive of his decision before. This was definitely a first.
“Well, thank you Luka.” Ivan said slowly. Sua also congratulated Ivan, “Be sure to tell mother and father or else they won’t stop bothering me. You really need to start answering their calls and texts.” Ivan rolled his eyes, “I will once they stop nagging me about the company.”
The three continued to work in Ivan’s office, trying to forget about the fact that there would be no cake during lunch today.
The day slowly passed by, both Ivan and Till’s thoughts racing as Ivan's work day came to an end. Would they really decide to adopt? Ivan made his way over to his car and couldn’t help but smile at the fact that we would finally get a chance to become a father. To become the father that he wished he had.
Till couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous at the fact that he might actually become a dad. He had made bad choices before, and what if this is another one? What if he can’t be a good father and ends up messing up the kid even more than they already are? What if he can’t fulfil the duties of being a father?
The door clicked open and Till rushed to the front entrance. He stood at the end of the hall panting lightly as he looked at Ivan. Ivan was taking off his shoes and placed his coat on the coat holder, setting his briefcase on the side table.
“Ivan.”
“Till.”
The two meet each other half way, embracing one another’s warmth. Till spoke softly, “I want to adopt a child. I really really do.” Ivan smiled into Till’s neck, “Me too love.”
It was 6 p.m. and the couple sat on the couch cuddled up next to one another scrolling on their phones looking at foster care programs and orphanages. “So, are we only looking to adopt one child for right now?” Till looked up at Ivan. Ivan leaned down and kissed his cheek. “I think one child is good, once we get the hang of things we can discuss adopting or taking care of another. Does that sound alright love?” Till nodded as he looked back at his phone.
One child is more than enough. I’m so happy we even get the chance to adopt one.
As the two continued to scroll Till’s finger hovered over a particular website. The website had an array of photos of children smiling, joy present on their face. But one child caught Till’s attention. This child had the exact same eyes as Ivan. Till tapped Ivan’s arm gently as he showed his husband the photo.
Ivan looked over and nodded, “They look like a nice kid.” Till gulped as he spoke, “I want to adopt him. Make an appointment right now. Please.” Till shoved his phone into Ivan’s face. Ivan couldn’t help but laugh as he looked on the webpage for the orphanage's phone number. He had never seen such a determined look on Till’s face.
“Alright I’ll go ahead and make an appointment.” Ivan stood, ruffling Till’s hair as she stretched and walked over to his office where his notebooks and pens laid on his desk. He sat in his chair and pressed the call button.
Back on the couch Till sat patiently, waiting for his husband to return with an appointment date. Till always wanted a family, and to find a kid who had his lover’s Ivan meant so much to him. It meant that he would get to raise a kid who looked so much like the person who saved his life.
I wonder if this kid has the same personality as Ivan. That would be interesting. Haha.
Till continued to wonder how the kid acted, if they truly were a mini version of Ivan. Or perhaps it would have Mizi’s personality instead. The kid’s hair color was the exact shade as Mizi’s. Honestly the kid looked like Mizi and Ivan combined. Till couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of Mizi and Ivan ever having a kid. He remembered that back in high school the two fake dated to keep Sua and himself out of the school’s attention. That was an interesting experience.
“And what got you all laughing over there?” Ivan walked out of his office, his hands in his pockets as he made his way over to the kitchen. He turned on the lights and started getting ingredients out to make dinner. Till walked over and sat on the counter opposite from where Ivan stood by the stove. “Oh just thinking about the time you and Mizi dated back in high school.” Ivan mentally cringed at the thought.
“Oh love, don't remind me. That was not a good look for me.”
“Because you were pinned straight or because you had to kiss Mizi a few times?”
“Both. No hate to Mizi but I just didn’t enjoy kissing her in front of a crowd.”
“I don’t think she liked your kisses either.” Till laughed out. Ivan walked over and kissed Till’s cheek, a smile evident on his face. “I hope you do.”
Till blushed profusely as he pushed Ivan away, “You are such a flirt!” In all honesty, Till never really got accustomed to how straightforward Ivan was with his feelings towards him. To this day he still gets red and flustered.
As the night continued to pass like every other night, the two held each other a little closer than usual as they laid in bed. Star and Lunar got into their shared pet bed that sat beside their balcony door. Lunar slept on the bottom, while Star got up onto his back and spun in small circles before laying down. The moon shined brightly, casting the shadow of Star and Lunar to look like a chunky snowman with a tail.
Meanwhile on the bed, Till and Ivan faced one another sharing small talks amongst their goodnight kisses. Before Ivan could give Till one last kiss, the older pulled Ivan into a close hug. “Thank you, for agreeing to become a father with me.” Ivan held his husband, rubbing circles with his thumb on Till’s waist.
“I’m just happy that we get to do this together. To have a child.” The two shared one final kiss for the night before disappearing into their own slumbers.
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“So, you two must be Ivan and Till?” A lady of a taller build greeted them as they approached her desk. She had dark hair tied up in a bun that sat on the back of her head. Her eyes were a mesmerizing purple and her voice soft. On her desk she had a book, her personal laptop, and a steaming cup of coffee
Ivan nodded as he responded to her question. “Yes ma’am. I am Ivan and this is my husband Till.” Till bowed slightly bidding her a hello. The lady typed away on her desktop. “Alright. I am Isabella, a caretaker and front desk personnel here at Grace Field Orphanage. I see here on the appointment notes that you were interested in meeting a particular child correct?”
“Yes, Mrs. Isabella. The child with pink hair and dark eyes.” Ivan said. When it came to talking at appointments, Ivan was always the one doing all the talking. Till just nodded along in the background. “Yes, the child that you would like to meet is Aiko. He is a bit shy but he is a well mannered kid. Tends to keep to himself at times.” Isabella stood up from the front desk and motioned the two to follow her. Ivan and Till walked behind her listening to every word that she said. If they wanted to earn Aiko’s trust, they must first learn his background.
Isabella opened up a large wooden door that led to the outside playground. Children from ages 5-12, played in the area. Some talked, others ran around, while a few sat on tables and colored. Isabella walked over to a corner where Aiko sat drawing. “Akio, you have a few visitors. Would you like to come with me to the classroom to talk with them?” Isabella asked gently. Without looking up, Aiko collected his things and started walking back inside of the orphanage. Isabella motioned for the two adults to keep following her as Aiko led the way.
“He really is shy,” Till whispered over to Ivan. Ivan agreed as they continued to follow Isabella.
After a few minutes of walking inside the orphanage’s halls, Aiko opened a door to his left and entered the empty classroom. He sat in the middle seat in the front row. Isabella smiled as she spoke once more, “Aiko, meet Ivan and Till. They are looking for a child to adopt and wanted to meet with you.”
Aiko avoided eye contact as he slowly waved his hand, a small “Hello” escaping his lips. Till slowly walked over and bent down to where he was kneeling, now being eye level with Aiko. “Nice to meet you kid. I’m Till.”
“Aiko…”
“How old are you, Aiko?”
“I’m seven.”
Ivan also walked over and did the same thing to become eye level with Aiko. “Hello, I am Ivan.” Aiko slowly made eye contact with Ivan and noticed how their eyes were exactly the same. Till watched as the two just stared at one another. Ivan’s little tooth was sticking out, while Aiko’s was barely visible.
“You and me have the same eyes.” Aiko had never known someone to have the same eyes as him. Everyone else had ‘normal’ eyes, such as brown or green. But him? He had dark black eyes that had a small spec of red in the middle of the darkness. Ivan smiled a small grin, “Woah that’s pretty cool huh? Now there’s two of us that have the best eye color.” Ivan raised his hand to offer Aiko a hi-five. Aiko noticed and reached his small hand out to gently clap against Ivan’s. Till chuckled at the reaction.
“Look at that Ivan you found yourself and eye-twin.”
“Haha I guess so.” Ivan replied, his little tooth sticking out even more. Aiko’s eyes brightened as he pointed at his tooth, noticing that they had the same smile. “I have the same one!” Aiko gave a small smile, his tinier tooth sticking out even more. Ivan couldn’t believe it, this kid really was like him. Almost as if the kid has his DNA.
Till let out a small laugh, “I think he is actually your kid Ivan! Are you sure you didn’t cheat on me and get a woman pregnant?" Ivan quickly stood up and shook his head.
“You know I would never do that to you Till! I love you too much to ever think about some other woman!” Ivan started pouting. Till rolled his eyes, “You big baby, I was just joking.” Aiko watched amazed on how childish the two could act. While Till tried to calm Ivan down, Mrs. Isabella kneeled next to Aiko.
“Do you like them?”
“Yeah, I do. . . I want to join their home.” Isabella smiled, as she heard Aiko mutter those words. She was glad that Aiko finally found a pair he wanted to go home with.
“Well, let’s see if these two gentlemen want to adopt you.” Mrs. Isabella stood up and let out a small cough catching the married couple’s attention. “So? What do you two think of our dear Aiko?”
Till’s eyes brightened as he walked over to Aiko. This time getting eye level with him. “Well kid, what do you say? Wanna try and come join our family? You even get your own personalized clone.” Aiko quickly nodded.
“I wanna join your home. I wanna learn more about you.”
Till looked back at Ivan. Ivan looked over to Mrs. Isabella, “Alright guess it’s time for the long paperwork?”
“Unfortunately.”
After what felt like an eternity, Aiko was finally in the back of Ivan’s and Till’s car. Aiko sat on a newly bought booster seat, his bag of belonging sitting right beside him. Ivan got in the drivers side as Till got in the passengers. In his seat Till turned back and faced Aiko.
“Alright kid, ready to go buy things to decorate your room?”
Aiko’s eyes widened, “Wait really?”
Till nodded. “Every kid deserves to decorate their own room. So first we will go buy some sheets, curtains, pillows, and even paint if you wanna paint the walls. Your room has a cream color.” Aiko nodded excitedly.
“I want to paint it dark blue!”
“You got it kiddo!” Ivan spoke up as he started driving down the road. “Then after we will go clothes shopping, buy you a whole new closet.”
“And lastly, some things that you might enjoy. Like toys and books.” Aiko couldn’t help but smile widely at the idea.
“You can even choose what snacks you want to keep in the house.” Ivan piped in. Till nodded along. “Exactly. Then when we get home you get to meet my cat Star and Ivan’s dog Lunar.”
Aiko’s eyes lit up even more. “You two have pets?!” The couple both hummed. “And once you get settled we can get you one.”
“I want a fish!” Aiko exclaimed. Till turned back in his seat to face forward, getting a bit dizzy. “A fish it is then! Are you ready to start a new chapter in your life?”
“I’m ready!” Aiko pumped his fist into the air. Ivan reached his hand over to Till’s thigh, opening his palm to hold Till’s hand. Till noticed and held his lover’s hand.
“Me too.” Ivan said softly. Till squeezed his hand.
“Me three.”