Work Text:
Becoming the captain of your own ship? Sure, it’s surprisingly easy once you set your mind to it. But staying captain? Well, that’s a whole different kettle of Esquillion fish!
Crew moral; it doesn’t factor heavily into ones imaginings of captaincy, no, the majority of brain power is taken up by thoughts of being able to slouch comfortably in the command chair and give amazingly ingenious orders while wearing a spiffy outfit.
In fact, the notion of crew moral hadn’t occurred to me until I was laying in my dashing new captains quarters, several hours after staging a mutiny and seizing control over the Kaykavus.
I mean sure, majority of the crew was greedy, really fucking bored or just plain weird enough to think that going from a long distance courier to pirate ship was an amazing idea. It had all seemed rather fortuitous at the time; the very small amount of effort I had to exert in order to turn the crew’s loyalties from the previous captain, now made me wonder how long before the tables were turned on me also.
Then it hit me: crew moral! Old Dorden had been an insufferable slave driver and working under him had been hell, so I must do the opposite.
Thus I began implementing small projects to help increase crew moral and in the process sparing me from karmic retribution. Being (moderately) wanted criminals on the run from federation law (not to mention the corporate conglomerate who still technically owned the Kaykavus) we could hardly hold social functions in a respectably high class establishment. So it fell to me to utilise my savvy captain imagination to keep the crew happy.
The first policy I put into operation was fortnightly Dance & Drinks night; which involves more drinking than dancing I’m sad to say. A monthly quiz night was next, the winners receiving tokens which can be used to buy anything from menu selection in the ships mess to where the ship is to go next for down time. Since then several other events have be successfully executed and have so far been a roaring success, with Costume Raid Day being one of the strong favourites.
I’ve even implemented an annual “Captain for a day” event; wherein a number of crewmen compete in a ship-wide treasure hunt; the winner is considered Captain for an entire cycle and has free reign of the ship. This is the second time this event has been held and I’m a bit surprised when Vicarus, my first mate, presents me with the locked treasure chest.
I’m not surprised that he won, no, Vicarus is the sort who achieves anything he puts his mind to; but that he actually entered the competition in the first place does. He’s never shown much enthusiasm for these sorts of events before and was quite vocal in his objections to Captain for a day in particular last year.
I unlock the chest and present him with the gaudy captain’s medallion we procured from a lost federation ship long ago. “Congratulations Captain Demarco. The crew are looking forward to your leadership for the next 24 hours.”
“Thankyou Captain Lockley.” Vicarus folds himself into my chair and turns, completely strait-faced, to address the bridge crew. “Ladies and gentlemen, for the next 24 hours I shall be you acting captain and as such I expect to have my orders followed. Any objection or refusal shall be seen as an act of mutiny and shall be punish in the appropriate manner. Is that clear?”
Grinning and enjoying themselves everyone answers with a hearty “aye!” always the smart ass, I throw a salute in for extra flair.
Vic- I mean Captain Demarco’s sharp gaze catches the gesture before sweeping back across the bridge. “For the first order of business; Officer Harrad, I’d like you to escort First mate Fallon Lockley to the captains quarters and see that he stays there.”
“What?” I gasp out. Harrad, the bastard, hesitates for a moment before responding. “Aye aye Captain.” He catches me by the elbow and marches me off the bridge. I get one last look at the no-longer-smiling crew and stony–faced Vicarus before the doors hiss shut behind us.
For practical reasons, it’s not far between the captain’s quartes and the bridge, Harrad walks me the entire way in uncomfortable silence. I’m not sure what to say, myself. The guy’s been the port-side gunner since we had the new weapons system installed three years ago; and let’s be honest here, you don’t put a hulking pile of man-muscle on a main weapons system unless you’re sure he’s not going to turn it on you at the first opportunity.
The door to my quarters open and again Harrad hesitates; leaning down a bit he whispers. “Sorry Ca- Lockley, Sir, if he doesn’t release you in 24 hours we’ll come bust you out and figure out where to go from there.” My knees wobble a bit at that; partially because he’s still loyal, thank god, and partially because I’m not the only one who is thinking Vicarus may not be.
Harrad sees the understanding on my face and then shoves me a little too roughly into my quartes, the door closing before I can say anything stupid and give him away.
I stay sprawled ungraciously on the cold metal floor for a moment, trying to absorb the fact that I, Fallon Lockley, Captain of the pirate ship Kaykavus, could have possibly been mutinied by my long standing First mate and supposed friend, Vicarus Demarco. That maybe, just maybe, allowing someone else to have total control over my ship and crew was perhaps not the smartest thing I had ever done.
Right! I push myself to my feet and straighten my spiffy captain uniform. If Vic thinks I’m going to sit around in my room like a grounded school boy he has another thing coming! I’m a (not so) notorious Pirate Captain and I’m going to go get some answers from my pokerfaced first mate.
I storm over to the door and wait a moment, but they don’t open. “Door, unlock and open.” I command but still nothing. I open the panel on the side of the doorway and enter the override code manually. There’s an angry beep that tells me that the code has failed.
Sometimes things just happen by chance, but other times it's karma taking a massive dumb on you. The trick is to know the difference; and right now, I can feel the stench of karmic retribution sticking to me.
There is no way that the Captains override code wouldn’t work; unless, of course, someone with a high security clearance and access to the ships main control changed it deliberately... Someone like the first mate.
Fuck.
I know there’s no security cameras in the captains quarters so anything I do will go unobserved. I do the only thing I can, take a seat at the mini bar and began plotting my escape... with a good bottle of Adronian fire rum.
The inspiration, unfortunately, is not flowing as freely as the rum and while a space-prate captain’s job description includes being able to finagle your way out of any tight situation; I for the life of me just can’t think of a viable way to escape my own bedroom.
Fuck Vic! What a giant prick! I thought the guy was my friend, I even lent him my lucky cravat when we attacked that merchant ship last Costume Raid and this is how he repays me! I sniff and drag my spiffy captain sleeve across my face. Great, now I’m going to cry over the evil bastard. It’s not that I don’t think I’ll get my ship back, I know the crew will fight to keep me on; but Vic has been my First mate ever since I became captain of the Kaykavus and it just won’t be the same without him here!
You know what? Fuck this shit! Fuck crew moral and fuck Vicerus! I lurch out of my chair and move unsteadily to bed, taking the nearly empty bottle of rum with me.
I must have slept (or passed out) at some point, because one moment I’m thinking about all the different ways I’m going to humiliate Vic for being a selfish ass and trying to take my ship (which I stole fair and square) the next Vic is there shaking me awake. “Fallon, wake up.”
“Vic...” I grumble sleepily, “what time is it, asshole?” He smiles a bit at that.
“It’s 0300; I still have 12 hours of captaincy left.” That wakes me up.
“You fucking prick! What have you done to my ship?”
He grins even harder at my outrage and seats himself on my bed. Well, actually it’s the captain’s bed, so technically it is his bed at the moment. “We’re docked at Freeport for that extended maintenance that you’ve been putting off. I hope you’ve learnt your lesson?”
“Hu?”
“I told you this ‘Captain for a day’ idea of yours is dangerous.”
“Wait back up!” still lying down, the room spinning at the revelation, I grab Vic by the arm. “You’re not trying to steal my ship?”
He rolls his eyes at my stunned face. “No Captain Lockley, I am not attempting to commit mutiny. I am trying to demonstrate to you how easily someone can steal the Kaykavus and her crew out from under you with this policy in place. Now will you please reconsider the merit of striping the ship of its qualified leader for a day next year?”
“So... you didn’t betray me?” I can still barely believe it.
An exasperated sigh. “No, Sir.”
“Vic, I’m going to hug you now.”
“If you must, Sir.”