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Blood ran down his face, his entire body heavy like someone had slammed him into a wall.
Jay switched the facet forward, the water cold to the touch. Jay wiped his hands on his face, water running down his face like red tears. His face disgruntled and tired, he barely recognized it.
Jay felt his hand instinctively run across the scarring along his nose. Like this time it would disappear, like if he just rubbed it hard enough it would go away. He just wanted to rip it off.
He had thought Ivan had been murdered by Conan's bare hands, wished he had been, but yet there he was,still here, breathing, staring at him. He was still there trying to break him piece by piece this perfect amalgamation of traits, shifting personality's that he could become. And Ivan would try to break them all, steal them all away and he'd laugh and laugh and laugh. As Jay was only left with himsl-
No.
He doesn't even have that anymore.
Did he ever have that?
He'd be left with nothing.
A husk.
"Despite everything its still-"
Jay froze, that voice it couldn't be. How the the hell did he get here? his throat constricting his heart beating half into his throat so loud he feared Conan could hear it. That he could smell his fear. Jay lowered his hand to his side griping around….
Nothing-
Shit where the fuck did he leave his knife?!
"Hm no, it isn't you is it? When was the last time you were actually yourself?" Conan walked forward, dim lighting extenuating how unnatural he looked. Jay nearly flinched from the sight of Conan, his hair was loose and messy,somehow looking unstyled despite Conan's natural look. But the look in Conan's eyes was what scared Jay the most. His eyes were dull,unfocused, half crazy. And yet they were the most alive looking that he has seen in years.
"Are you here to kill me?
Conan laughed "So self centered, aren't you? You really think that's the only reason I'm here? That would be so boring…"
Jay felt a grip on his back,sharp cold metal pushed against his throat. his breath intensifying, begging himself to move. He just needed to move even a punch would be better than nothing. yet his muscles stayed still, frozen.
"Its far more fun to see how much-" The metal pushed tighter, against his throat, his breathing coming in panicked and rapid. "I can keep pushing." Jay just had to move, he just had to kick Conan in his stupid fucking face, but his muscles stayed still. "And pushing" blood ran down the blade, sharp pain emitting all the way throughout his body. The weight pushing down on him making all his wounds burn.
"And pushing" the blood ran down his neck adding to his already blood soaked clothes.
The pressure released, Jay fell to the floor gasping, trying to get air to fill his lungs but his chest only got tighter and tighter. Jay put his hand to his neck blood still trickling down it. He felt his breath become more ragged and raspy, blood filling his mouth the taste sharp and metallic. Pain revibrating throughout his whole body his previous wounds catching up.
"Wow you really are pathetic." Jay's breath became tighter, the words stinging like he had been stabbed again. "Nothing but a egotistical crybaby, I wonder what your father would think."
Jay froze feeling as though someone had stabbed him a thousand times. Perhaps that was the fate he deserved for what he had done. What he sacrificed to be the "pristine" fang hunter, that everyone "loved" No one knew what he had done. No one knew what an awful person he was.
"Get his name out of your mouth." Jay growled.
Conan snorted, "I didn't even say his name. have you really lost that much oxygen already? I didn't even cut that deep." Conan's voice playful enjoying every moment of this.
"Shut the hell up." his stomach and chest constricting like they were on fire . A deep visceral anger filling him. That at any moment he would explode and lose complete control of himself.
"But really what do you think he would think of the-…… " Conan paused taping his long fingers along his chin, "hm no I don't think person is the right word. What ever you have become, I wonder what he would think."
The raw flames of anger fully engulfed Jays throat, "Look who's talking. at least i KNOW I'm still a human" Jay said his voice low, tensed.
Conan smile dropped like he had grabbed the facade and choked it with his bare hands.
"Are you?" his tone flat void of any emotion.
Only silence answered..
"At least I accept what I am now. When will you?" Conan walked away his heals echoing across the room getting farther and farther away.
The room echoed with silence that was somehow loud, the whole room felt emptier, Jay sat there in a pile of his own blood his breathing ragged and rhematic. wondering one thing that he had been for most of his life.
What was he?