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“Sleepy Joe” thats what Donald used to call him.
He would never say it to Donalds face but that nickname meant the world to him, it was for him and him only, no one else, not Putin, not Kim Jong-un, and not
Chalrlie
He hated Charlie with every inch of his body, how he stole his BOYFRIEND away from him, on the day of the proposal nonetheless.
He had it all planned out, the flowers, the lighting, the restaurant.
He would finally have made their relationship public and taken it one step further by making it official
But then HE walked in
Bidens sweaty palms clamped the box of the ring, waiting until all the chatter around them tuned out, to when it was only Donald and him. His breath quickened, his heart was pounding, he knew the moment was soon, why couldn't it come quicker?? He took a deep breath in and out, he knew
He had to propose now
“So uh Donald,,”
“Yeah?”
“Theres been uh something ive been meaning to ask you for a while…” he fidgeted with the ring box in the pocket of his hot topic sonadow pants.
“What is it sleepy?”
God he could almost see the boner that name gave him
“Well uhh its about us donald, about who we are, what we are”
“Yeah?”
“Well donald i was hoping that”
This was the moment
“That you would”
The one true moment
“Take my hand in marriage”
He got on one knee, and held out the engagement ring
“Please”
“Oh joe,,”
”joe”? Why not sleepy? Whats wrong
“Theres something about that,,, or someone you might say”
“What”
“DONALD!!”
And there he was
That wii looking average guy ai drawing mother fucker ruined his whole life.
“Donald sorry i was late for our date,, whos this loser”
Donald side eyed joe, still on his knees
“No one important babygirl”
What,,,?
His world shattered
Everything was falling apart
He ran out of the restaurant, wiping his tears away, covering the bright red of his eyes
How could he have betrayed him like this? Oh why Donald why did you do that?
…
No
It wasnt donalds fault
It was that damn Charlies fault, he brainwashed Donald to fall for him! Of course, its the only reason Donald would ever leave him, his pooki wookie bear.
He was going to make Charlie pay, he was sure of it.
And thats where he was now
At the top off a rooftop, sniper in his hands, and flamingo and jayingee making out next to him (im so sorry everyone reading this).
He waited for the right moment, after charlie gave his boring ass speech about gun violence or some shit, what an ironic soon to be death
He aimed the gun for Charlies neck
“You sure this is gonna kill him right?” Biden asked flamingo
“mphh ,, positive, best gun in the business”
“Why are you here again”
“Wanna get the best view”
“Right,,”
Biden waited and waited replaying the scene in his head
The ring
The proposal
The break in
Charlie
Ruined
Everything
And then he pulled the trigger
“WOAH HOHO FUCK YEAH” flamingo shouted
“Aw dude wait did i miss it” jayingee said peering over the ledge.
“I did it” biden stated triumphantly.
“HHAHahaa.. We should probably go now, Biden pack up the stuff, well meet you by the truck.
“Alright,,” he replied, shoving the gun into the case
He finally had his revenge
And it tasted sweet as hell
