Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nervous. For once in Matt Murdocks life, he is nervous.

Never once has he been nervous as daredevil, but all of a sudden, the feeling of going clothes shopping with someone other than Foggy, stresses him out.

Foggy had previously informed Matt about this trip he so desperately needed, and Matt -stupidly- had still decided that he needed new clothes. This. Weekend. Dumb mistake. Usually, Foggy would come along to find, comfortable, and stylish clothing for Matt. Making sure that his sensory issues don’t get in the way of style. Also, because when shopping, a friend (who knows Matt really well), can usually help the panic attacks that ensue in small spaces with a bunch of people. Even if Foggy has previously thought of Matt’s senses as superpowers, Matt has reminded him it makes life hell if not taught to control it under stress. Especially with the world being, harsh, loud and filled with… stress.

Which is what Matt is filled with right now. That mixed with pure panic and nervousness.

The sinking feeling in Matt’s gut tells him he should really call it off with the ‘sick’ excuse, but he knows that Karen will be very concerned and will probably spend her day -and night- looking after him. Which is the last thing he wants. There is an increase in crime around this time of year, and daredevil is needed out on the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. So, he opts to ignore the feeling and hope for the best. He is, however, still not fully sure that Karen knows what she got herself into. But he wants it over and done with. (The clothes shopping and the day itself.)

He needs new clothing, and maybe it will be good that Karen will get used to his… quote on quote ‘pickiness’ which is something that only Foggy would say. But Foggy did reassure Matt that Karen had a good taste in clothing, and what kind of friend would Matt be if he didn’t take Foggy’s words into consideration. Even with Foggy’s reassurances echoing throughout Matt’s mind, the feeling sticks that something bad will happen. Shocker.

+—————————————+

He hasn’t even gotten out of bed yet. The mix of stress, nervousness and sleep deprivation makes it feel impossible to do so. But the bruises coating his back, ache. So, Matt hops up. The slow, tired journey to the shower feels like forever. Almost like he is intentionally stalling the day, accidentally letting the nervous thoughts take over with time. Matt finally makes it to the shower, turning it on, letting the sound of water drown out his thoughts and other voices surrounding him. Maybe this was for the best. Or maybe not. The sinking feeling from last night still sits. Which is not helping his stress at all. He had finally finished in the shower, and the voices come rushing back. Everything at once. It’s happened so many times that Matt doesn’t have an issue with it as much.

Three short knocks bring Matt back into reality. Or well, back into his own apartment. With all this stress, Matt was trying to find Foggy’s heartbeat. Maybe as a way of calming down. But as it got further away, and quieter, Matt just seemed to get more… panicked.

“Matt?”
Karen’s voice is calm, which is quite the opposite of how Matt is feeling right now.
“I’m here, I’m here. Don’t mind me just, taking my time getting ready.”
Matt is trying to make his voice sound normal.
“Ok then, just don’t take that long. We have a whole day of shopping ahead.”
Karen seemed to be very cheerful. And Matt cringed at the thought of a whole day of shopping. The noise. The smells. The crowded hallways. Yuck.
Matt finished buttoning the rest of his casual shirt, which according to Foggy, it isn’t actually that casual. And it got Matt thinking. Maybe it would be best just to wear something even more comfortable, maybe just to help deal with the rest of the day. Maybe.
“Matt? Are you ok?”
Matt had been quite for a little to long, and Karen, still sounding calm, doesn’t seem to think that Matt’s ok. Maybe it’s because of all the excuses for injury’s inflicted in his ‘night job’. I mean all that Karen knows is that Matt is prone to accidents. She doesn’t know if Matt has gotten injured again by hitting a doorframe.
“All good. Just contemplating my outfit choices.”
Matt was definitely afraid that she wouldn’t believe him. But silence? Was it his tone? Was it not believable even if it was the truth?
“Ok! Like I said before, you need to hurry.”
Now it just sounded like Karen was scolding him for being indecisive. Although he couldn’t care less as the slight pause had spooked him enough to stop thinking for a bit.
Matt grabs his cane and glasses, rushing to the door. He was wearing a white button up shirt with black pants and a belt. A jacket topped it off as it was quite a windy day. And shockingly, no tie.

Now Matt just has to shove down the feeling that something bad would happen.

He is already starting to regret going out last night. If he needed help, the bruises on his back and the scars coating his body would be heavily visible and probably very suspicious. Even with the ‘blind man bumping into everything’ excuse. Foggy knew. He hasn’t known about it for that long, but still. He knew that Matt was secretive. More secretive than Foggy would prefer. And it wouldn’t shock Foggy if Matt was coated in scars. If he didn’t already know of course.

Matt journeys outside his apartment, to be greeted by a slightly impatient Karen.
“Hey Karen.”
Matt was trying to be polite. He dislikes some kinds of silence. Mostly just awkward silence.
“Hey Matt, how are you doing?”
Karen was seemingly happier than Matt, almost like the displeasure of waiting had just evaporated. Matt bites back the urge to respond with “peachy.” And he decides too just respond with a normal answer that doesn’t contain sarcasm.
“I’m good. How about you?”
He was stressing already, thinking about the day ahead. Matt seems to be already picking at his skin, which isn’t really a good sign. He hasn’t done this since collage. They haven’t even started walking yet.
Karen offers an elbow, something that she probably picked up from Foggy. Matt almost instinctively reaches for it, almost forgetting that it wasn’t Foggy. He pauses for a moment and then continues to grab her arm. She didn’t seem to notice, and they continued out of the building.

Life feels so peaceful for once. Maybe the peace before the storm.

Just tune out Hell’s Kitchen. Just get through the day.

Chapter Text

Walking through Hell’s Kitchen isn’t that bad. Although when it gets crowded, it may be difficult to navigate. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that Matt has just found out that they are taking a car to the shopping centre. Lucky Matt.

The walk was silent. For some reason, silent. Although Karen seemed in a good mood, maybe because this was her first time that Matt let her come shopping. Although the coffee Karen had brought was his favourite. Probably the best coffee he has ever tasted. Foggy must of told her that. So, his day wasn’t all bad.

Karen isn’t aware of how Matt feels about cars. Or any vehicle for that matter. Maybe it’s because just admitting to Karen that he has heightened senses and can’t deal with vehicles is… well suspicious. Why didn’t she know about this before? But in all cases, she’s smart enough to put together two and two and figure out that Matt’s daredevil. Karen’s not dumb. He knows it won’t end well. People who know his identity tend to end up in sticky situations. Not like she hasn’t already ended up in enough sticky situations, Knowing Castle and all.

So, he decides to put up with it. Making his day worse by the second. Even with the coffee. The car ride was bumpy. The car fumes felt unbearable. Everything was so loud. Just get through the ride.

+—————————————+

Phew. Rides over. And yet, he wants this day to be over. Shocking.
“Are you all good? You seem tired.”
Karen was definitely asking from the kindness of her heart, but the question feels more rhetorical than not. He can sense it in her voice. Great. A migraine had already started to set in before he left the house. Luckily, he had taken his migraine medicine before he left the house. He would’ve probably vomited by now if not.
“Yeah, I’m all good Karen.”
Matt was trying his best not to sound tired. Or sick for that matter. Although the migraine might make him vomit, he has to patrol tonight. But Karen didn’t need to know any of this. And now the sinking feeling has kicked in again.
“First shop of the day!”
Karen’s voice cuts through Matt’s thoughts again. Cheerful and filled with energy, everything that Matt isn’t right now.
“Amazing. Let’s do this.”
Matt was definitely trying to be cheerful, but by the end of the sentence, all the cheer is lost. Karen didn’t seem to notice, hyped up on the fact that she gets to make Matt’s wardrobe and can do about any style. Not like she was planning on making him look bad. Matt hopes.

Karen leads Matt into the first shop, which happens to be new. Although Matt has favourite shops, that Foggy put on a list for Karen, she insisted that Matt should try some new shops. Matt couldn’t deny that his favourite shops are slowly declining in popularity, and could close soon, but he still wasn’t too fond of the idea. So instead, Karen forced it upon him.
“So, what do these clothes look like?”
Matt was definitely hoping for something nice, and comfy. But he also wanted to look good. Mostly for Foggy. But hey, style still matters.
“Yeah, yeah the clothing here looks amazing.”
Karen was lying through her teeth. But Matt couldn’t prove that she sounded convincing, but her heartbeat told a different story. But who knows? They could be comfy.

+—————————————+

Wrong. Matt Murdock was so wrong. Just his luck. A terrible migraine, bruises coating his back, and he is already getting overstimulated. Ughhh.

Matt was standing in a changing room, uncomfortable and irritated. And this was the first store of the WHOLE day. Lucky, lucky, Matt.
“Hey Matt, are you still alive in there?”
Her voice was calm, slightly helping Matt deal with all his emotions.
“Yeah, I’m all good just dealing with this irritating shirt. The buttons are all weird.”
Maybe he shouldn’t have said that last part. I mean, now Karen will be adamant to help. Great.
“Do you need help? Not in a weird way of course.”
Guessed it. Lucky him. Now he can’t really say no, because he does actually need some help. And denying the fact he needs help, will slow him down and make this torture, take even longer.
But, alas, he can’t have her see the scars. He can’t have her see the bruises. He can’t let her see, his other life.
“I’m all good. Just a couple more seconds. Then we will go to the next shop.”
Matt said it in a tone that had left no room for discussion. Which is exactly what he wanted. Although, there was not a response. She probably didn’t really want to argue, especially because the clothing here is definitely on the uglier and more uncomfortable end.

Matt had just finished buttoning up his shirt, and he was preparing to exit the stall.
Then he hears guns cocking. Not too far away from here. In this shopping mall. Wow. Matt’s luck just keeps getting better. He wants to act fast, but in anyway, there is no sneaky way to get Karen out of this shopping centre, without obviously, leaving Hell’s Kitchen without the devil when he is most needed, and that isn’t good. In anyway, someone is going to get hurt.

He can hear them planning. They have blocked every exit. It gets worse every second Matt doesn’t act. Maybe this was the sinking feeling. He exits the dressing room anyways.
“Hey Karen?”
“Yes?”
“I’m feeling kind of hungry. Do you feel like some food?”
“Oh well, I’m up for some food. Let’s do it.”
Matt felt like vomiting at the thought of food court snacks. Or a meal for that matter. All the oil and thing just in general, it’s disgusting. But the food court, has places to hide. It’s furtherest away from any threats, and Matt can easily lose Karen in the crowd. That’s a good thing in this case. He doesn’t want Karen to stress, but he also would rather her stressing than her being in jail.

Now Matt has to time it right.

Chapter Text

It doesn’t seem like the threats want money. It seems like there are some high-level targets currently here in the shopping centre. Which, unluckily for Matt, are also located near where he is currently. Well, he has to act now or never. But he needs to make sure that chaos starts when he makes it to the food court. Mostly because he doesn’t want Karen to be in the crossfire. That and he would need that crowd to lose Karen in.

One issue comes after the other as Matt realises that there is no safe way to fight crime and keep his identity a secret. It’s one issue that Matt would disappear, and a masked man would appear, but there is no mask for him to just, put on. Hiding his identity seems to get harder every day.

“Ok Matt, you ready to venture to the food court?”
The way that Karen said that felt way too overdramatic for what events that were about to unfold.
“Ha, ha. Yes, don’t worry. I’m ready.”
Just try to act normal Matt. Stop stressing. Stop. There is no room for mistakes or lots of innocents are going to die today.

Luckily, for Matt, his migraine has gone away. One less of a distraction. Now to get Karen safe and sound. That and a mask.

Karen starts leading them out of the shop, and towards the food court. Matt’s trying his best to keep up with Karen’s more one-sided conversation, because he is mostly listening for threats. They haven’t made any movements yet, but they are mostly making sure that they are as ready and prepared as they could be for the surprise they are going to launch. Matt doesn’t like that. The more that pile onto him at once, the less he can sense about the space around him.

The terrible smell of the food court gets stronger, as Matt slowly approaches it with Karen. He resists the urge to scrunch up his nose at the smell.

+—————————————+

Wow. The food court was definitely loud. But Matt could here that forever away. No need to react. No need to let Karen know about his abilities. There is a lot going on. And soon, screams will fill Matt’s ears. He is so, so, lucky.

Karen is dragging him through the crowd of loud people. Its… a lot. But that’s a good thing. He can easily slip away from Karen. Now for the mask part… now, being blind is an issue. He can hear plenty of things but figuring out where exactly he could find a worthy face cover, might be difficult. And then, somehow, he realises Karen was wearing a grey scarf. She definitely won’t notice her scarf being missing… right? Who cares. No. Wait Karen probably cares.

+—————————————+

Time to take action. Karen has been pestering Matt about what he wants to eat, listing out all the places. Matt’s to busy listening for the threats, so, he can counter it. The food court is starting to pile up, and more and more people are surrounding them, also contemplating what they should eat. Great timing.

In about 5 minutes until the attacks will start. They will slowly force innocents, away from the real targets, to make sure that anyone trying to be a hero and interfere, and stop the bullets, intended for the victims, because that would be a waste. They would also distract and stop people from calling the cops. Then they will block all entrances/ exits, making sure only the lucky targets will be in harms way. All exits will stay blocked. Unluckily for them, daredevil was in the building. Not to happy about his friend being put in the way of harm.

It’s easy to slip away in such a growing crowd. So, in one quick swoop, Matt grabs Karen’s scarf -a very soft one at that- and he quickly slips into the growing crowd. After a lot of pushing, and shoving, Matt has exited the crowd, and out of the food court, now holding a scarf. The bathrooms weren’t to far away and it would place him right in the centre of things when he exited. Perfect. He ducks into the bathrooms, wrapping the scarf around the top part of his face. It’s empty. Which is weird but good. Not like he needed a mirror to see what he was doing. Then the shouting starts. Mostly threats of staying back or being shot. That last part wasn’t a lie. Which is different from most times Matt has heard those kinds of threats. Karen has a gun. She should be fine. As long as she doesn’t do anything. The guy has backed people up enough that Matt can now sneak behind him. Matt didn’t want chaos, it would make it easier for the bad guys to escape into the crowd, so Matt opted to leave them alone for now. He just didn’t need that distraction.

Matt quickly ducks behind a small store setup, and then jump onto the counter, using the signs to give him the full boost up to the second floor. Luckily, none of the innocents decided to look, and accidentally alert the guy. There was a group of people around the first store that Matt and Karen visited. They were blocking the pathway, presumably keeping the targets within the store without alerting them. There were guys on the other side of the hallway too, out of view from anyone located within the store. Matt had to get through the guys, but he didn’t want to be surrounded while against a wall, so Matt decided to do the dumbest thing he had done all day (dumber than deciding to wear a scarf as a mask) and parkour off of a tech stall in the hallway, to position himself in the centre of the two groups of armed men. If he were Frank, he would’ve probably gunned them down right then, but Matt didn’t even know why he was thinking about Castle. Maybe because there were guns in the picture. Or maybe because he would’ve protected Karen in this situation. Which, technically, Matt was doing. Just not the way Karen would prefer if she knew about… Matt being daredevil and all that stuff.

Matt lands between the two groups of guys, who all opt for the first option of pointing their guns at him. Matt can hear the guys approaching him, slightly mad that their plan has been ruined. There is a lot of overlapping chatting, mostly about Matt being an idiot for jumping into the middle of a group of guys with guns. The second they get close enough, Matt attacks.

They fire bullets, being unsuccessful, as Matt just dodges them. A quick punch the the face, and a couple kicks to the gut seem to wipe out the majority of them, for a bit at least. Matt can hear more groups approaching, probably abandoning their posts at keeping people in one area. That shouldn’t be an issue for Matt currently, other than some more people to fight.

It takes a lot to wear Matt out. But today, he was just not in a great mood. Maybe because it was a terrible day, or maybe because he was just very very unlucky. So, the stack of guys coming at him at all angles, is very inconvenient. And no matter how many times Matt seems to down them, others manage to get back up. Great.

Chapter Text

Matt was definitely getting tired. Mostly of dealing with these guys. He needed this energy for tonight’s patrol, and yet, he might take a night off and ask Frank to do it for him. He definitely wasn’t happy about that. Ironic, because Matt was trying to stop gun violence from happening today, and yet, he might let someone else do the same thing, because Matt was tired. Matt decides it’s better to check up on Karen because leaving her confused and scared for him isn’t great. And now, he hears her heartbeat closing in on where he was, camera in hand. Almost like Jessica, ready to take photos whenever. What was she doing? Hopefully not looking for him. She didn’t seem as distressed as the people currently being held hostage. Which was mostly expected after everything she has been through. It’s now that he can hear her muttering about Matt being safe if he is lost in the crowd. He can’t find his way out. He’ll be safe.

Now Matt realises that both him and Karen want each other to be safe, but one of them didn’t have as much experience in fighting. But is that what she’s planning? Then Matt remembers. There hasn’t been many good things to write about for New York Bulletin in a while. Getting info about this during the incident would probably make front page headlines. See, other than Matt having an issue with her need for a good story, even if it puts her in harms way, Matt happened to be in the middle of the fight. The fight she wanted to report about. Not only that, Matt, wearing Karen’s scarf and wearing the same clothing, might be able to spot and determine who he is relatively quickly. Wow, lucky Matt.

+—————————————+

Matt hadn’t wrapped his hands before the fight, and now his blood is dripping on the floor every time Matt stops for even a second. His breathing was getting heavy, and he was wearing down on patience. And Karen wasn’t that far away. She was so close to rounding the corner, and seeing Matt in a mask, beating down guys with guns.

The targets had noticed a while back that they weren’t safe, and they had ran to the back room of the store. Matt had only just noticed now, as he is getting more and more breaks in between the guys falling down, and picking themselves back up again.

One of the guys had landed a good punch on Matt’s nose, and it started bleeding. The taste of the blood dripping into Matt’s mouth made him feel like vomiting for the second time today. And Foggy definitely isn’t going to be happy about the injuries Matt has sustained on the weekend he was away. Matt wasn’t looking to get scolded.

Finally, the last man, who is way too determined, falls to the ground unconscious. Matt’s knuckles are aching, and his breathing is heavy, almost like his lungs won’t let anymore air in. He yanked his mask off, rubbing his eyes, trying not to pass out from exhaustion. Well, he wasn’t going to, but he felt like it. His grip on the mask was strong, his knuckles growing whiter by the second.

Karen must’ve noticed the lack of fighting noises, and she peeked around the corner. All she could see was the side profile of Matt. Matt, being too exhausted to concentrate, and completely missed all sounds of the camera clicking, Karen’s heart rate speeding up and her way too dramatic gasp right before she hides behind the corner again. Well, until it was too late. His head snaps towards the corner, his head tilting, trying to figure out what had just happened. His mind had processed the sounds too late for him to react.

Matt yanked the make-do mask back over his head and he walked towards her, one leg lagging behind from when someone got a good hit in his knee. His nose had stopped bleeding, but he suspected it to be broken, again. Foggy had once, recently, commented on how his nose was a bit crooked from how many times it had been broken. Ironic.

Karen had probably heard him approaching; his limping was definitely loud. She was stressing, she had probably seen him surrounded by many bodies, but Matt has yet to figure out if she knew about… him being daredevil and that sort of stuff. He wasn’t looking forward to another one of those ‘are you actually blind’ conversations again. Definitely after what happened to Matt and Foggy’s relationship the first time around. They had recovered though, better than the beginning. (Even if Matt takes Foggy’s arm when offered) But when it comes to Karen, she was definitely left in the dark for a little too long. There was probably no coming back from that. So, Matt wanted to know what she saw.

Karen was hyperventilating, and it was loud. Probably because of the strange, masked man, who shared some resemblance to the devil of Hell’s Kitchen, (and maybe Matt if she saw his face clearly) approaching her. Although, without the red suit and horns or the black mask and black suit, to Karen, it might seem like some random guy with a scarf as a make-do mask.

Matt is getting closer towards Karen, and she seems too not be moving. Maybe too scared to run. Matt’s now only just starting to think this is a bad idea. He paused in place, hesitating. If Karen hasn’t already noticed that the guy in the mask is Matt, being up close and personal with Karen might give her another chance to notice that it’s him. But it was too late. Karen had turned the corner once again, stopping in place to face Matt. Her stance showed that she was scared, but Matt could tell that from her heartbeat already.

Matt backed away. He turned around to sprint, and one word stopped him in his tracks.
“Matt?”
Oh. He looked like a deer in headlight. He turned around on his heels, to face Karen. She slowly approached him, tucking her camera back into her purse. Her heartbeat was slower, and so was her breathing. Matt was the complete opposite though. He wanted to run, to say something, just to keep their friendship together, but his body wasn’t acting on these thoughts. Did she see his face? Did she just process it now?
“Take it off.”
“What?”
“Take the mask off.”
Matt is panicking. This isn’t something that he can easily avoid. Matt reached up, hands trembling so little that Karen missed it. Matt’s fought plenty of strong people, and yet he never panicked. But now, faced with a person who he has trusted for a while, Matt is afraid.

Matt is genuinely afraid.