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L.A. Todo-O-Nada Penitentiary
Warden’s Office
A tall, rugged elder man with a rattail sat leaning over his office desk looking over the prison’s books over the last few years. For once he didn’t have a cigarette in his mouth, having almost immediately snuffed it out in the ash tray after entering the office.
Truth was, the chronic smoker thing was really only part of his ‘BAMF Persona.’ The BAMF was like a mask he wore as a leader to command respect. No part of this mask was a lie, just an embellishment of certain parts of his personality. It was all still Tai, just TaiMAX instead of Taimak.
In reality, he usually only smoked to add intimidation; though, he would enjoy a light every once in a while, in his daily life, he only really smoked, on average, one or two cigs a week. It varied depending on how good or bad the week had been. On a particularly bad week, he’d have as many as three or four, but on a very good one, it wasn’t uncommon for him to not smoke at all as there was no need for a stress reliever.
Though, at that particular moment, he was seriously considering lightin’ a new one up.
It was only the 2nd day of his employment as the Warden of the L.A. Todo-O-Nada Penitentiary & Taimak was already on the verge of pulling his hair out. ‘These numbers can’t be right. The fuck is all this power goin’; a Doomsday Weapon?’
He was sat hunch over the books calculating how much money the prison owed, but the electricity bill was much too high & so were some other things. Before he could contemplate the meaning behind this, Tai heard a knock at his door. “Enter.”
The door opened to reveal Officer Douglass Carson, who marched in, then closed the door behind him. He stood facing the desk at full attention with his eyes forward & one hand at his side while the other touched his forehead in a salute. ‘Must’ve been practicing that all night…’
As much as Tai wanted to commend the kid, his form was still just as bad as it’d been yesterday. While his eyes & posture might’ve been perfect, plenty of other things were incorrect. Most of the problems lay in over-exaggeration, like how Carson’s shoulders & the angle of his elbow were too high. Really, the kid should know how to salute by heart because he’s an officer.
“At ease, Officer Carson. What was it you needed to tell me?” The brunette’s aura seemed to dim somewhat, though he didn’t show it physically.
Switching into rest, Doug swallowed invisibly at the person he still wasn’t quite sure was a human in a metal boot or the 1st signs that the Robot Take-over had begun. “Sir, there seems to be a few complications when delivering your orders.”
The Warden sighed, putting his face in his hands so that his fingers covered his eyes. Rubbing his lids, he grumbled under his breath before returning to normal speech. “Of course there was a problem. I was an idiot to think there wouldn’t be. ‘cause following orders from your boss, even if they’re given through a middle man, would make too much sense & as such, would be a totally ludicrous concept... Would you mind explaining where the difficulty lies, Officer?”
Doug tried not to smile, only managing to keep his lips a little looser than a tight straight line. You know, the kind of face you make when you’re trying not to smile, but you do so by forcing a frown & it just ends up looking like a straight line with the corners turned down?
Even if it turned out that the new warden was a robot in disguise, at least he seemed to have a sense of humor. Coughing, he recomposed himself. “Well, Sir. 1st, I apologize for taking so long. I was only able to follow your orders during my breaks & off hours, so I had to wait.”
The elder man simply waved his hand dismissively, shaking his head. “I kind of expected as much. Really, I should be apologizing for asking a guard to do something that an assistant or secretary should. I would’ve asked mine, but, for some ridiculous reason, Kisher seemed to just up & lose her somewhere!”
It was true. Evidently, nearly six years ago the secretary, Ms. Millan, who’d been working there had simply vanished without a trace. For whatever reason, Warden Kisher had never tried to hire a new one. While Carson hadn’t been working at the prison when it happened, he’d been there long enough to hear the story from several points of view.
Either way, it couldn’t be easy picking up after his old employer. As capable as Warden Thunderwolf seemed to be, he was still just one person. Besides, he certainly seemed to want to change this place for the better… Now, he just needed to break the bad news to the possible robot insurgence without getting upgraded into a Cyberman or something… “It’s no problem, Sir. I’m glad to help. Anyway, none of the Mail Room workers wanted to… put in the extra work of reading through an inmate’s mail. There were also a couple that refused because they believed it was a breach of privacy.”
Tai groaned, he wasn’t sure which he would’ve preferred. On the one hand, he’d never been good with dealing with people who didn’t want to work. Oh, there’d definitely been a few cadets, but he tended to handle them much like the old saying of, ‘either shape up or ship out.’
As far as he was concerned, you got between one & three chances depending on the situation, but if you don’t show some sincere desire to improve then you needed to leave. As for the other option, he could respect a person who stood by their own morals, but it was possible for a virtue to be twisted. “Did you tell those lazy-asses that it was a direct order from their boss? What about the others, while I can understand their morals & concern, did you tell them that the man was a murderer & had already used the prison’s mailing system to kill someone via an Atroquinine-poisoned stamp?” Moment of truth…
Doug was glad that he’d thought that far ahead, but didn’t show it on his face. “Well, yes & yes, Sir. However, the poisoning revelation only seemed to catch the attention of one of the two morally concerned individuals. Though, willing to listen, she remains unconvinced without further proof.”
Taimak was a tiny bit relieved. The fact that there seemed to be, at least, one other person working here that was willing to listen to reason was much more than he’d hoped for. However, he couldn’t become complacent.
Rubbing his chin with one hand, he continued to question the kid. “Hmm… Annoying, but understandable & reasonable… What about the rest?”
Doug couldn’t keep the disappointment from leeching into his voice as he spoke. “Unfortunately, the other of the pair remained doggedly obstinate. As for the rest, it’s as you said; lazy.” … & there it was. That’s the worst possible downside to be had when talking to someone who sticks by their morals too resolutely. This virtue is easily twisted, because it sometimes gets to the point where they refuse to see things from someone else’s point-of-view anymore.
At that point, they might as well be wearing blinders. You can’t talk to them, because they’ve already made up their minds. As such, you’d likely make more progress by talkin’ to a sign post than an actual person.
Tai scoffed then reached into his pocket, pulling out a box of cigarettes. It looked like he’d need that stress reliever after all. Lighting up the cig, he inhaled the shot of nicotine, letting it calm him down. Afterwards, he groaned his frustration sending a large puff of smoke into the air as he muttered through clenched teeth. “Un-fuckin’-believable…”
Doug had gathered by now that when the Warden was in a bad mood he tended to light a new cigarette, so he was a bit nervous about continuing. However, he didn’t want to just chicken out! Not after all he’d learned in only two days! Steeling his resolve, the officer took a deep calming breath, though it was a little difficult considering all the smoke. “There’s more, Sir.”
Tai sat up, elbow resting on the arm of his office chair, he used the hand to cover one of his eyes with a sigh. “Oh, that’s great! Now, what’s wrong?”
Carson just shifted his foot before continuing with his explanation. “While I was able to arrange for Prisoner Gavin to be moved to a new cell & the Inmate Uniforms that you found cut down on my search, the prisoner refuses to wear them.”
A rumbling snicker like far off thunder escaped the Warden’s mouth. “I don’t doubt it! Well, if he won’t wear the uniform, then keep him in there until he does. No food other than a slice of stale bread & water. The more days it takes, the less he gets.”
Just then, a disturbing thought occurred to him. The elderly man’s eyes snapped open in panic, his head shooting up to look at the officer with abject terror on his face. One eye twitching, Doug could see a slight green tinge to the man’s skin. “Wait… He refuses to wear it? I’m hopin’ he’s not sittin’ in there buck-ass naked!”
The officer couldn’t stop the quiet chuckle that slipped past his lips at the reaction the hardened man gave, but couldn’t really say that he blamed him. Now that it’d been brought up, Doug also found the possibility disturbing. Good thing he’d thought ahead! “Thankfully, he isn’t. I suspected that you might not enjoy the view so I allowed him to keep one set of… ‘periwinkle’ pajamas from before the move.” Carson was just as confused by the word as Tai.
Neither knew much about the proper names for colors, having never been art students & were both unfamiliar with it. Though, Taimak distinctly remembered his kids used to watch a show on TV that had a side-character named Periwinkle. It was a striped cat with short hair, but he doubted that had much to do with it.
… Except… he recalled that the cat’s stripes were about the same color as the Piss-Head’s suit, so maybe that was it… Shaking his head, he returned to the present, thankful that Carson had been smart enough to prevent such a disaster that could’ve ended with him gouging out his own eyes.
“Oh, thank God! Now, I won’t need to avoid that hall! At least the news isn’t all bad.”
“Mmm… Sir? There’s one last thing regarding the Inmate Uniforms & I’m afraid you won’t like it.”
Tai sighed, a long cloud leaving him. “So, some good news 1st to cushion the bad. I can understand that. Hit me.”
“I passed on your order to enforce the Inmate Uniform Regulation, but very few guards are actually following it…”
Tai placed his elbows on the desk, fingertips together to form a triangle. He leaned forward to touch his nose to the top of the triangle, eyes narrowed in thought. ‘So… I was right… It seems that I can’t trust the staff…’
He really wanted to put his faith in Carson & his instincts were telling him that he could, but… He had to make sure… how though… ‘Bingo!’
“Carson, I have a job for you.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“You’re not to tell anyone about it, because you’ll be doing this undercover. Be as discreet as possible. Over the coming months, I want you to talk to as many of your co-workers as possible & while you’re doing that, make a note of anyone that you believe can’t be trusted. Just write it down in a notebook or something. I need names & your reasoning. Proof is appreciated. Last thing I need are baseless accusations.”
“If you suspect someone, but don’t have any information or proof, say so. Write ‘Suspected – Need more info.’ Be thorough, I’m asking you to do this, because if I try to do this, they’ll all just pretend to be hard at work whenever I’m around. With you around, they might act more like how they normally would. Now, there’s something I wanted to give you…” Tai began rummaging through one of his pockets.
It had to in here somewhere… Ah! He pulled out a small bronze pin meant to be attached to your collar. It was shaped like a maple leaf with a beveled five-point star engraved in the center.
Handing it to Carson, he dropped it into the man’s hand. “Just pin that to the front of your collar when you get to work, call it a Good-Luck Charm.”
The officer was surprised by the gift, but slightly suspicious. He knew he shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but Warden Thunderwolf just didn’t seem the type to give out presents willy-nilly. Even so, he wanted the man to know that he could trust him.
Now that he thought about it… It would only make sense that it’d be a bug if he was being asked to gather information. Provided that it actually is one, it would likely pick up information that he might forget about.
With that in mind, Carson looked at the Warden, giving him a salute. “Thank you, Sir. I appreciate it. I’ll do my best to carry out your orders in as discreet a manner as possible.”
Tai felt that niggling guilt grow at the honesty in his voice, but kept his face blank. “You’re welcome, Officer Carson. You’re dismissed.” The officer went into rest then turned on his heels before leaving the room as an even pace.
After hearing the door close completely, Tai sighed unhappily at his deception. He couldn’t risk fixing up this place on a gut feeling. It just wasn’t feasible. Reaching into another one of his many pockets, he wrapped his hand around a very useful device shaped like a mechanical pen. ‘That girl really loves her Doctor Who…’ After turning off the safety, he depressed the button causing it to make a buzzing noise much like the eccentric, yet brilliant Time Lord’s signature device.
Keeping it pressed, he waited for a while until it made a digital chime. An audio-generated feminine voice sounded from the device. “5 listening devices & 2 cameras found. 1 of the audio recorders & 1 camera were unregistered. Logical conclusion: likely installed in secret for information gathering. All unregistered devices were temporarily disabled. The audio & camera were both given a continuous loop of Taimak Thunderwolf calculating numbers so as to not raise suspicion. You have 10 minutes & 52 seconds to figure out how you wish to address your situation before this device gives you a warning signal at 3 seconds before the espionage gear reactivates.”
He could never get over how thorough this thing was. “Thank you, Pivancy. I’m guessing that the registered listening devices happen to be the phone, the intercom, & the microphone attached to my laptop with the camera also being a part of my laptop?”
There was a digital chirp followed by Pivancy’s voice. “You would be correct, Mr. Thunderwolf.”
He smirked, clearing his voice. “Thank you, just wanted to be clear on that. That’ll be all. Sweet dreams, Pivancy.”
It took an extra second for the AI to process his courteous well-wishes, but it quickly pulled together an appropriate response. “Confirmed & though unnecessary, I appreciate the sentiment, Mr. Thunderwolf. I hope that your day is a pleasant one.”
Pivancy went silent, so Tai pulled out his laptop. Opening the window that his daughter had shown him, he found that Carson had, indeed put the pin where he told him to. How did he know this; because, he could see through the tiny camera at the center of the star, that’s how. With a little finagling, he managed to set up the software to store everything the Spy Pin recorded.
However, with his non-technologically-minded ass at the wheel, it took a bit longer than it should.
Yeah, that little girl who loved Treasure Planet grew up to be a genius. She developed programs, made software, invented, a whole hell of a lot of things really… No matter what, though… No matter how many awards she won. The money she earned. The tech she made.
In the end, whenever he looked at her, he always saw that same freckle-faced little girl with tree bark hair done up in braided pigtails who got so excited over seeing boats used as spaceships. Or who shook her tiny fist at the fat cyborg playing as Long John Silver for betraying Jim. He remembered the look of pure awe the 1st time she saw the map orb thing create a hologram on the walls & declared that she’d one day be smart enough to do things like that.
Or how she swore to be just like Doc Brown & build a REAL Time-Traveling DeLorean. A Mr. Fusion… A steam-powered flying, time-traveling train… She had dreams, that was for sure. Big dreams…
As he brought out his cell, Tai couldn’t help smiling. ‘Well, if you haven’t gotten there, yet, then you’re definitely close, Sweetie.’
He called a number, listening to the ring.
“Hello?”
Breaking out into a broad grin, Tai spoke. “Headquarters, this is Agent Wolf reporting for duty. I have an urgent report for Chairwoman Taika Natalia ‘Techna’ Logi that she needs to hear immediately!”
His grin widened at the sound of her laughter. “Dad! You’re such a goof! I can’t believe you remember those games we played!”
“How could I forget! You were always so imaginative! Anyway, as much as I love catching up with you, I’m on a tiny bit of a time schedule.”
“Oh? So, what’s up?”
“Well, I’m sure you remember that I’ve taken up the job of Warden, now. Thing is, this place appears to be rotten to the core! I just gave that bugged collar-pin to an officer here. Really starting to feel guilty about that, gut’s tellin’ me I can trust him… Then I used Pivancy & it turns out the Warden’s Office was bugged! She took care of it, but that means that there’s more to this than simple corruption. Not only that, there seems to be a bunch of workers that just refuse to listen to orders.”
“I’m afraid that I’ll have to transfer all the inmates to more secure prisons & while they’re gone, just do a sweep of the entire staff. I’ll need to fire anyone I can’t trust & hire more reliable workers in their place before transferring the inmates back. Before that can happen, though, I need to figure out where all this corruption is coming from & deal with it properly. Therefore, I’ll need to instead slowly filter in the best officers I know of. Without help, I won’t be able to pull this off. I already have an idea for who the first one will be.”
“Hmm… Sounds reasonable… I suppose you’re talking about Amara, right? I’m sure she’ll be just fine working there. I mean, she was your best student. Just make sure you both take care of yourselves! Anyway, how did my inventions work?” Tai rolled his eyes, his becoming soft at how worried his girl was for this old codger.
“Oh, you know they worked perfectly, I’m looking at the computer screen, right now. I set up everything, so the information should be feeding back to the house. I know you’re the Tech Wizard, so could you do me a quick favor & just check to make sure that I didn’t screw anything up?” His answer was silence.
Then there was a cutesy sound from the other side. “Aaaww! Look at you, Daddy! According to the data I picked up, it only took you 1 & a half minutes to set everything up this time! See?! You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’ve improved your time by leaps & bounds!”
Tai snorted derisively at that. “Techna, sweetie? We both know that you could’ve done that in 5 seconds flat.”
He heard a similar if more feminine snort from the other end. “Well, yeah, but I’ve got an I.Q. of, like, 200!”
Pulling the phone away, he looked at the receiver in disbelief with one brow quirked before putting the phone back to his ear. “… & I’ve got an I.Q. of 175. What’s your point?”
There was a pause. “… Okay, you got me there.”
Snickering, Tai continued on. “Anyway, my time’s almost up, so I better make this quick. I also called you to ask about something.”
“Sure! What do you need?” The simple acceptance may have been nice, but he sometimes wished she’d think about it a bit more before immediately offering her help to him.
“Well, you know I don’t usually ask for favors or shit like that, but I was wondering if you could help me later on with upgrading this place’s security. I’d pay Techna-Logi Co. in full, but the previous Warden, Ash Kisher, ran this place so deep into the red that now I couldn’t dig it out with a Terraformer!” The simple truth of it really frustrated him.
“Anyway, & this is really, truly difficult for me to ask, but… Could I ask for… the Family Discount? AAHH!! That hurt!!” It really did! There was a pang in his chest that actually physically hurt & caused him to grab at it. Truthfully, it’d only been a phantom pain that his mind had created, as though as punishment for the mere thought of accepting handouts.
At the very least, it got him a giggle from his baby girl. “Hee Hee! Of course, you can, silly Daddy. I’ve been trying to get you to take it for years, but you’re too stubborn. So, yeah!”
Sighing in relief when the pain abated, he slumped over his desk, removing the cig from his mouth & placing it in the ash tray to keep it from destroying the papers on his desk. “Thank you, sweetheart. You have no idea how big of a help this is gonna be…”
“No problem, Dad. Anything to help out.” The old leatherneck smiled, sitting back up in his chair. He felt a wave of mischief rush through him.
“Oh, before I go, tell that Fiancé of yours that he’d better be doin’ right by ya or I’ll lay him flat.” His daughter’s laughter sang out from the other end of the line making him smile even wider.
“Hey, Theo, get in here!” He heard his soon to be son-in-law’s voice from far away saying something like, ‘Yeah, Techni? Is someone on the phone for me?’ Techni was Theo’s little pet name for her. Not the most original thing in the world, but whatever makes his baby girl happy.
“No, hun, Daddy just wanted me to tell you that he has his eye on you, so watch where you’re steppin’ or your ass is grass.” Tai chuckled at how the little troublemaker had decided to relay his words to the man.
His musings were interrupted by his daughter once again bursting out laughing. “Message received, Daddy!”
“Thank you, sweetie…” Glancing at his wrist watch, he started at the time.
“Shit! Gotta go! Love you, Princess! Bye!” After hearing Techna’s own hurried ‘bye’ Tai turned off the phone & shut off his laptop as quickly as possible then turned back to his desk & began to calculate some of the prison’s expenses while subtly listening for the sound. Not 5 or 6 seconds later there was a digital chirp from his pocket signaling the 3 second mark until he was being watched again.
‘I don’t know who you are, you lousy piece o’ shit, but I’ll find you & I’ll teach you to go all peepin’ tom on me...’