Chapter Text
"I was only a kit when the Wicked One died."
I take another bite of my mouse and try to ignore Mother's rambling. She sits beside Skysight in the elder's den under their roof of woven reeds. Cloudswirl's kits and the orphaned apprentices are gathered around her with wide eyes like they've discovered the most interesting thing in the world. It's disgusting.
"She was my mother's mother and the most terrifying thing I'd ever seen." The words tumble out of Mother like she's still a kit. "Dyingsun, they called her. She had fur darker than the night sky with a white circle on her chest and eyes like the rushing river after a storm."
The kits lean in to listen and the apprentices try to act like they aren't interested but their eyes gleam with curiosity.
"She came to this clan when it was just starting out. She ripped apart the old hierarchy of toms and destroyed those twisted star-worshippers. Now only the Sun and Moon serve as our guides. She gave us the truths that we needed to hear, the light we needed to see, and the answers to our questions. She was everything."
I shake my head and keep eating. Mother worships the Wicked One as though she was the Sun itself. The Wicked One wasn't all that great but she did a few things right. She placed she-cats in control, banned in-breeding, and forbade relationships with those under twenty-four moons. Those things placed us properly on our paws and allowed us to thrive as we have. Toms are unreliable and incompetent anyways, they're only useful for breeding and that's it.
I force myself to stand and dispose of the remains of my meal before going for a walk. Riverwail flocks to my side as I go to leave, like usual. He's almost identical to his sister, Seaspine. They have the same bluish grey coats and sky blue eyes. The most notable difference appearance-wise is that Riverwail constantly looks like he's about to cry. Seaspine is much more dignified looking
"Mind if I tag along?" He begs, giving me those almost tearful eyes.
"Not today. I need silence." He opens his mouth to plead some more but I walk away before he can.
The shore of the river is peaceful, just the rush of water over stones. It soothes my tired mind and drowns out my wandering thoughts. I've always felt much older than everyone in the clan. I feel the weight of countless moons thrust upon my shoulders as if the world simply wants to torment me. It's as though I've lived so many lives that I'm tired of it all.
The sand squelches around my paws as I pad towards the distant light of the setting sun. The bubbling water beside me is reassuring as I watch the sky bloom with shades of orange, pink, and red. I end up sitting on the bank of the river to watch the sunset.
When the sun finally sinks halfway below the horizon, I begin to hear something strange. The crackling of dry leaves and heavy, pained breaths. I scan my surroundings but find nothing. I look back towards the sun and the trees along the horizon and see the source. A ragged, scrawny creature is staggering through the brush. It doesn't look like a cat--the ears are too droopy, the limbs are too long and wiry, and there is no meat on the bones. It looks dead.
I rise apprehensively, unsure if I should approach this... thing.
It moves closer, shaking now. Its coat is so dirty and ragged that I can't tell what color it's supposed to be. Its tail drags on the ground, twisting unnaturally. I can see bloody gashes running through the muck of its pelt. Its eyes are unnaturally wide and gaunt, so hollow that they seem to swallow the light.
I step back as it wobbles to a stop.
"Hello?" My voice is steadier than I feel. I'm scared for the first time in so long. I want to run back to camp, to hide, to wake up and realize this is a dream.
I take a few more steps back as it opens its mouth. No sound comes out at first but its mouth moves almost desperately, repeating the same word. Help. Help. Help. Help.
When a sound finally escapes, it's a scream.
That's when I realize I'm looking at the face of death.