Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The speaker above the door croaks out a pathetic, feminine welcome. The speaker mostly emits static and crackle but somewhere in there are well wishes. Jungkook gives Jimin a two-fingers salute. The other mimics it boredly, barely looking up from the video he’s watching on his phone. Beside him, a small fan whirrs way, doing its best to battle the heat. Summer is in full swing and as always, it’s relentless.

Jungkook heads to the chilled section of the campus convenience store and eyes up the remaining kimbap flavours. He grabs two of the triangles (kimchi and ham will have to do) then heads for the aisle of ramen. A boy with red hair and tanned skin is crouched at the end of of the aisle, restocking shelves. He grins widely at Jungkook (it’s oddly rectangular-like but Jungkook has to admit it’s kinda cute) and Jungkook swears his eyes flash blue for the briefest of moments before the boy is looking away again, whistling to himself as he rips open a box of ramen. Jungkook grabs Yoongi’s favourite then heads to the counter to pay, scooping up two packets of chips on the way.

“Who’s the redhead?” he asks, tipping his goods onto the counter.

Jimin’s head jerks up, brow furrowed. “Redhead?”

Jungkook raises a brow and jerks his thumb back over his shoulder. “Yeah. Redhead. Restocking the ramen.”

Jimin still looks confused but slowly begins scanning Jungkook’s items. It seems to dawn on him because he goes “oh” then tells Jungkook, “Kim Taehyung.”

“He goes to college here?”

“Yup,” Jimin says, popping the p sound. He holds up a bag and Jungkook shakes his head.

“I haven’t seen him before. He seems kind of hard to miss.”

Jimin shoots a look in Taehyung’s general direction. “You’d be surprised.”

Jungkook raises a brow and scoops up his purchases. “Ok,” he says slowly. “Well. I’ll catch you later. You going to Namjoon’s Saturday night?”

That grabs Jimin’s attention. He grins. “Fuck yeah. I had two assignments due this week. There’s a good few bottles of beer with my name on them.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Right. See you then. Oh, and I’ll say hi to Yoongi for you. Tell him how fucking -”

Jimin goes red right up to the tips of his ears. “Fuck off!”

Jungkook smirks and wiggles his brows at Jimin as he shoulders the door open. Outside, as he walks past the store, he sees Taehyung has joined Jimin at the counter. Jungkook slows his walk to watch. Jimin has one hand on the counter, the other on his hip. Taehyung is grinning widely at him, then laughs at something Jimin says. Jimin reaches forward and tugs at a lock of Taehyung’s hair. He looks exasperated, but still a smile tugs at the corner of his lips. Taehyung makes to respond but spots Jungkook through the window. His demeanour changes entirely, smile looking decidedly less boxy as one side of his mouth curls upwards in a slow, dangerous smirk.

Jungkook licks his lips and quickly averts his eyes. As he speeds up, he can’t help but glance back. Taehyung is laughing. Again, Jungkook thinks he sees his brown eyes flash blue.

“Yo,” Yoongi calls out as Jungkook steps into their dorm room.

Jungkook throws the ramen at where the older boy is stretched across his bed, then moves to his own bed and tears open the first kimbap. He mutters a curse when he pulls too hard on the last bit of plastic, and the seaweed nearly completely unravels. He packs it all back into place then takes a bite. “Your fuckbuddy was there,” he says around his mouthful.

Yoongi glares at him. “Fuck off. Bet you don’t say that to his face.”

“Nah,” Jungkook agrees. “I’ve got better names for him.”

Yoongi sighs. “Shut your face, brat, and just finish your kimbap. You’re spitting rice everywhere.” He sits up and makes grabby hands. Jungkook throws the other kimbap at him. “Seokjin still carries on about how shy and sweet you are. If only he knew better.”

Jungkook snorts. “And Seokjin still thinks you and Jimin have yet to get anywhere, hyung.”

Young’s attention drops his gaze and rubs the back of his neck. He winces. “Uh, yeah, well.”

Jungkook raises a brow. He swallows his mouthful. “Hyung, you’re blushing.”

Yoongi scowls at that. “I don’t fucking blush.”

“Jimin does. Flushes realllll nicely.” A pillow comes hurtling towards him. Jungkook ducks it easily. “You’re too easy, hyung.”

“Jesus Christ, Golden Maknae ain’t so fucking golden.”

Jungkook shrugs. “You know who Seokjin blames.”

Yoongi sighs. “Yeah, yeah. I got a potty mouth and all that shit.”

“Now, about Seokjin not knowing…?”

Yoongi eyes him up. Jungkook blinks back innocently as he takes another bite from his kimbap. Yoongi points a threatening finger at him. “This… does not leave this room.” When Jungkook’s eyes light up, lips curling into a smirk against his own will, Yoongi barks out his name.

“All right, all right,” Jungkook says, rolling his eyes. “Spit it out.”

“Remember the party couple of weekends ago?”

“At Chanyeol’s?”

“That’s the one. Baekhyun didn’t really warn us that the lock on the bedroom door was faulty and - “

Jungkook’s mouth falls open. “Get fucked. He walked in on you.”

“Shut your mouth, it’s disgusting,” Yoongi mutters, taking an angry, embarrassed bite of his kimbap. “And he only walked in on us because he and Namjoon were getting all handsy with each other and wanted the room themselves.”

“They both walked in on you? Oh my god!” Jungkook rocks backwards with his laughter, tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. He bangs his head against the wall but hardly takes notices. “Holy shit, hyung.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just don’t tell Jimin I told you.”

“Oh - “

“Jeon Jungkook.”

“I’m not giving this opportunity up.”

“Jeon Jungkook!”

“Imma race down there right now and - ah, fuck, never mind. Taehyung’s there.”

“Kim Taehyung?” Yoongi stands up to grab one of the packets of chips.

“Yeah. Red hair?”

Yoongi’s reaction is identical to Jimin’s. “Red hair?”

“You all going colour blind in your old age?”

“Watch it, brat,” Yoongi warns as he sits back on his bed and rips the packet open. He pegs a chip at Jungkook. “Respect your elders.”

“Respect is earned, hyung.”

“You’re insufferable. Anyway, Kim Taehyung. Red hair?”

Jungkook frowns and leans his back up against the wall. “Yeah. Is it really all that strange?”

Yoongi looks thoughtful. A little concerned, even. Jungkook tips his head forward to try catch Yoongi’s gaze. The fuck has him so serious about a college student called Kim Taehyung with red hair and tanned skin and a boxy grin and - Jungkook blinks then frowns some more. He can hardly recall what his first ‘girlfriend’ in middle school looked like, yet Taehyung’s face comes up vivid and bright in his memory.

Jungkook shakes his head. “Yo, hyung. Why the face?”

Yoongi comes out of his thoughts but doesn’t reply. Just offers Jungkook a tightlipped smile and shovels another handful of chips into his mouth.

Jungkook and Jimin rock up to Namjoon’s together. They crush their empty beer cans and toss them onto the lawn, before stepping up the front porch. The bass seeps through the walls and permeates the night air. Jimin shoulders the door open and Jungkook follows him in. The front hallway is dark and unlit, but the pair navigate it with ease. They come across the main living. The kitchen light is on, island bench covered with mixers and spirits. Someone opens the fridge to reveal shelves full of chilled beer. The couches have been pushed up against the wall, and purple light from the DJ’s kit spills onto the floorboards. Bodies grind together. Voices chorus together too loudly, even over the sound of the music. Jungkook twists to avoid the three girls running past him, giggling together. The sliding doors to the porch are wide open. A game of beer pong is in action. The crowd on the left cheer loudly as a cup is sunk.

Hoseok spots them first. He raises his cup and gestures them over. He and the others are crowded in the kitchen, pouring a set of drinks. Hoseok passes one to Jungkook, then to Jimin, knocks his cup to theirs, then downs his drink. Jungkook smirks and follows suit. When he tips his head back down and wipes his wrist over his lips, he meets a pair of dark eyes. It takes Jungkook a moment, but he realises it is Kim Taehyung watching him with a deceptively uninterested gaze. He has one arm draped on the bench, the other propped up so that he can rest his chin in his hand. He blinks slowly at Jungkook, then smirks even more slowly. The lean of his body causes the loose collar of his t-shirt to hang, showing off sharp collarbones and a tanned chest.

Jungkook finds himself drawn in despite himself.

Junkook only notices the cigarette dangling between the other’s long fingers when he lifts it to his lips and takes a drag. Taehyung blows smoke rings at him over the bench.

“Who,” he says, followed by another smoke ring. “Are you?”

Taehyung’s hair, no longer red but brown, seems to throw shades of blue.

“Enough of that,” Yoongi mutters, snatching the cigarette from Taehyung and taking a long drag himself. He breathes the smoke out through his nose and slides his palm under the back of Jimin’s shirt. “Namjoon, get on with the fucking tequila shots.”

Namjoon grins and cracks his neck. Seokjin lines up the shot glasses then gestures for everyone to hold out their hands. Jungkook meets Taehyung’s gaze across the bench as the other licks a stripe over his hand then holds it out for Seokjin to shake salt onto. Taehyung raises a brow, rolling his lower lip between his teeth. Something stirs in Jungkook’s stomach and his breath leaves him quietly. He snaps to attention when Hoseok thrusts a wedge of lime into one of his hands, and a shot glass into the other. The glass is filled to the brim and the alcohol drips down over Jungkook’s fingers onto the bench. There’s already a good puddle of tequila collected on the counter from Namjoon’s sloppy bartender skills.

“Now,” Namjoon says, holding his shot glass high in the air. Everyone joins him, glasses clinking together. “Before we start, y’all know the rules. A shot for every half hour you’re late.” His gaze slides left, to Jimin. “Jimin?”

Jimin puffs out his cheeks. “When the fuck was it even supposed to start?”

“9.”

Jimin look at Jungkook and shrugs. “Guess that’s four for you and I, Kookie.”

Jungkook grins. “Done.”

“You too, Taehyung,” Seokjin says, pretty pink lips curling up into a smirk. “Hoseok? Yoongi?”

“Three,” Hoseok says, smile outshining the sun as fucking always. “For us both.”

“All right, men,” Namjoon says. “Here’s to getting fucked.”

The group let out a whoop of excitement, lick the salt from their hands and down their shot. Jungkook grimaces and sucks on his lime. Across from him, Taehyung is licking his lips. The guy reaches across and takes Jungkook’s lime from him, shoving it into his own mouth. He grins at Jungkook, lime skin for teeth. Jungkook shakes his head.

Taehyung laughs, popping the sour fruit out, revealing a row of pearly whites. “One down,” he says. “Pour up, hyung.”

They drink the next shots in quick succession. Jungkook can feel the alcohol warming his gut. He licks the excess salt of his hand then makes the stupid mistake of licking his lips, catching the last few drops of the tequila. Taehyung notices and hands him a lime wedge. He is quick though. Scarily quick. When Jungkook makes to take the lime, Taehyung lets him, but snatches up his wrist.

“Come dance with me. Now.”

Jungkook smirks and nods.

“Hoseok?” Taehyung calls, rounding the bench to drag Jungkook to the dance floor.

“Later,” Hoseok calls back.

“Good,” Taehyung says, grinning slyly at Jungkook and fuck he’s hot with his lips wet with tequila and lime juice and fuck is a face like that allowed a voice that deep?

He drags them through the mass of moving bodies, right to the middle. Jungkook admires the line of his shoulders as he follows behind. Taehyung turns to face him. The dance lights flicker over his face in abstract patterns and there’s something so sinfully dangerous about him. The lights glint off the impossible darkness of his eyes and do nothing to brighten them.

Taehyung steps into him, hips swaying, hands lifting above his head. He looks at Jungkook through his lashes. “Kim Taehyung.”

Jungkook tilts his head and smirks. He knows how to play this game - really fucking well. He steps even closer to Taehyung, drops his lips by the other’s ear. “I know who you are, Kim. Tae. Hyung.” He pulls back, meets the intensity of Taehyung’s gaze head on. Dangerous, his mind prompts again. “Jeon Jungkook.”
Interest is sparking in Taehyung’s gaze. He steps back, dancing away from Jungkook enough to appraise him properly. His lips curl, giving Jungkook one last approving glance, before he closes his eyes and loses himself in the music.

Taehyung stares. His hair sweeps down over his brow and his eyes are too intense for a face so lax. Jungkook smirks, leaning in closer. Taehyung’s eyes have gone a little red and his lips part so that a pink tongue can swipe over them. His eyes look like they may be watering slightly and suddenly Jungkook wonders what it would be like to have Taehyung under him, looking up at him with teary eyes and flushed cheeks and swollen lips and ok so he may be a little drunk but the guy’s voice is so deep and his eyes are so intense right now and Jungkook just wants to ruin his stoic composure and completely wreck him.

“Aha!” Taehyung shouts, startling Jungkook into pulling away. “You blinked!”

Jungkook blinks once, twice, then, “fuck off, I did not!”

“You totally fucking did.” Taehyung laughs gleefully, handing the cup out to him. “Fucking drink.”

Jungkook makes a noise of disgust and takes the cup from him. He peers dubiously at its contents, fishes out the ping pong ball, and downs the drink. On the other side of the table, Hoseok grins and Yoongi rolls his eyes, muttering something about ‘fucking finally’.

Taehyung cackles. “How’s it taste?”

“Fucking potent,” Jungkook groans, wiping his wrist over his mouth and setting the empty cup aside. He passes the ping pong ball to Taehyung. “Take your shot.”

Taehyung takes the ball in one hand and grabs Jungkook’s forearm. He digs his hips in against the table and leans forward. “Just watch, Jungkookie,” he says, scrunching one eye closed as he lines up the shot. He pokes his tongue out and catches it between his teeth. “I’ll rescue us.”

Hoseok laughs and leans back, arms spread wide in acceptance of the challenge. “Taehyungie,” he says, “you guys only have one remaining cup.”

“And you’ve got three. Better average.”

“Doesn’t matter. Jungkook’s a shit shot,” Yoongi drawls, raising his brow.

“Nah, nah, nah,” Taehyung says, tugging on Jungkook’s arm to pull him in closer. “I have faith in Jungkookie.”

He misses the shot.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he says, still not letting go of Jungkook’s forearm. He hops from foot to foot as Hoseok lines up his shot. “Shit, shit, shit. I’m sorry, Jungkookie. I think this is the end.”

Taehyung, Jungkook has learned, is clingy, childish, weird, and - and manipulative, if he’s being honest. He has to be, with the way he’s got all the hyungs, even Yoongi, wrapped around his finger. But Jungkook finds he doesn’t mind the way Taehyung likes to clutch at his forearm in excitement, just like he doesn’t mind the way his mouth forms a rectangle and his eyes crinkle at the corners when he beams real wide or laughs real loud. Or the way that Taehyung knows how to turn into smoke and weave his way through the crowd, throwing teasing glances over his shoulder as Jungkook follows, entranced by the danger and the promise in his gaze.

This time Jungkook doesn’t picture Taehyung under him. He pictures him over him, with eyes that are blue and pupils blown too wide and red hair and - Taehyung’s hand tightens considerably around his arm. “Fuck!”

Jungkook blinks, coming out of his daze. Apparently he missed Hoseok taking the winning shot.

Taehyung sighs dramatically and takes the three cups Hoseok and Yoongi pass to him. He adds them to their last cup - their sunken cup - and then passes one to Jungkook before taking one for himself. He holds his up. “Here’s to being fucking awful at this game, Jeon Jungkook. Cheers.”

They knock cups then gulp the liquid down. Taehyung’s dark eyes meet his over the rim of their cups, and Taehyung’s lips curl.

Taehyung is dragging him through the crowd again, fingers warm around Jungkook’s wrist. He throws glances over his shoulder at him occasionally - each time he does it, he’s biting his lip. Partly out of excitement, partly intentionally, Jungkook is sure because it’s driving him fucking mad. Taehyung trips over a girl’s foot and Jungkook quickly reaches out to steady him. He takes Taehyung’s weight against his chest and Taehyung giggles quietly to himself, beaming up at Jungkook.

“Such a hero, Kookie,” he purrs, tilting his head and looking up at Jungkook through his lashes - a sharp contrast to the giggles from 30 seconds ago. Blue light sweeps over his face and Jungkook swears he sees ripples in Taehyung’s eyes. But as always, Taehyung blinks and it’s gone.

They spot Hoseok on the other side of the crowd, waving them over. Yoongi and Jimin stand beside him, intwined with each other. Jimin can’t seem to press himself tighter to Yoongi’s side. Beyond them, Seokjin and Namjoon in the kitchen. Seokjin has one hand folded over his chest while the other massages at his temple as he watches very drunk Namjoon attempt to pour another round of shots.

Jungkook glances down at Taehyung then decides it’s his turn to call the shots (even when drunk, Jungkook can still be punny). He takes a firm grip on Taehyung’s wrist and tugs him after him as he cuts through the last of the crowd. When he glances back, Taehyung’s dark gaze is depthless and there’s a red tint to his hair, even under the purple light.

“Took you long enough,” Hoseok chirps, wiggling between them both to throw an arm around their shoulders and lead them to the kitchen. “Time for more tequila.”

“Running out of lime,” Namjoon says, voice too loud. He stands in open doorway of the fridge, mouth and eyes both wide. “We’re running out of lime.”

Taehyung’s long fingers wrap around a shot glass and one of the lime slices. “Not a problem,” he coos. He holds the shot to Jungkook, who raises a brow and takes it down. When Jungkook goes looking for his slice of lime, he finds Taehyung’s fingers dancing over his wrist, asking for attention. He turns to the older boy, is met with a smile made of lime skin that quickly gets pulled back into a red, red mouth, and he smirks. He slides a hand around the back of Taehyung’s head and connects their mouths. His tongue delves in, fishing for the lime. He tugs it into his own mouth and pulls back. Taehyung gazes back at him. Blue stains the edges of his irises as his lips curl.

“Very good, Kookie,” he says lowly, stepping in closer to Jungkook.

Arousal curls in Jungkook’s stomach and his skin tingles where it brushes over Taehyung’s. It makes him squirm because he wants to touch. He pushes the lime to the side of his mouth so he can speak around it. “Better hurry and take your shot. We’ll be out of tequila next.”

Taehyung inclines his head then reaches behind him for the shot glass. How he doesn’t knock anything over is beyond Jungkook, but he doesn’t care - is too focused on the way Taehyung’s throat elongates and reveals itself when he knocks the shot back. And when Taehyung makes to take the lime from Jungkook, his lips taste of tequila and Jungkook can feel them curve against his own.

Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous.

Taehyung pulls away, laughing. His fingers still haven’t left Jungkook’s wrist. Even when he turns to face the rest of the group, crowing about his excellent idea and demanding Namjoon pour more shots, his fingers are secure - possessive - around Jungkook’s wrist.

Jungkook feels the arousal in his stomach climb up inside his ribs and curl around his lungs.

Another shot is pressed into his hands and as he takes it down, holding the glass with his left hand, Taehyung is beside him, downing his own shot, and tugging on Jungkook’s wrist, pulling him over, pulling him in - Jungkook sighs into his mouth, sucking the lime behind his teeth. They move too fast and stumble a bit. Taehyung giggles into his mouth and curls his fingers around Jungkook’s hip.

“Tae’s not kidding,” Yoongi says from somewhere beside them. Jungkook pulls away to look. Yoongi is wiping the back of his wrist over his mouth, staring down at Jimin who gazes back with dark eyes and sucks on his lime slice. “Makes things more exciting. Another round, Namjoon.”

Jungkook can feel the tequila and the arousal curdling uncomfortably in his gut and their lime has lost nearly all its flavour and they haven’t even remembered the salt but Taehyung’s fingers are still around his wrist and he thinks fuck it. “Fuck the shots,” he says, grinning as he takes the bottle of tequila from the bench before Namjoon can and maybe he’s feeling too bold, too drunk, but oh well. He holds the bottle to his lips and takes a swig, pulling a face as the liquid burns down the back of his throat.

He can feel Taehyung’s gaze, hot and heavy, on the side of his face, on his lips.

He pulls the bottle away and pulls another face, grinning through his grimace.

Hoseok laughs and takes the bottle from him next. “Kookie’s got the right idea,” he says, before taking a swig for himself. The bottle rounds the group, coming to a finish at Taehyung.

He tilts the bottle so that he can read the label, thumb running circles over the bones of Jungkook’s wrist. Slowly, he grins. Jungkook thinks there’s something a little strange about it - Seokjin and Jimin apparently think so even more so, because concern washes over their expressions and Seokjin starts rambling about - about -

Jungkook’s breath leaves him as Taehyung’s gaze swings up to look at him. Blue. His eyes are blue.

Taehyung winks and his eyes are brown again. He lifts the bottle to his lips and drinks.

Jimin pulls Taehyung aside, dragging him further into the house. Jungkook pretends he isn’t keenly aware of the lack of Taehyung by his side - and when he forgets to pretend, he blames it on the alcohol. He’s dragged a stool over to the island counter and now sits around it with the others, laughing and joking and playing drinking games. He’s lost all feeling in his fingers and his reaction time is pathetic but hey he doesn’t feel sick and his eyesight seems to be functioning pretty well so yeah he’ll down another shot.

“You and Taehyung got close fast,” Seokjin comments. He’s squinting at Jungkook - actually he’s squinting just to the side of Jungkook. “I’m pleased.”

Jungkook hides a laugh behind his hand and nudges Yoongi and Hoseok, pointing out Seokjin’s wandering gaze. “Yeah, hyung,” he says, as the other two snigger beside him. “He’s all right.”

“He’s clingy,” Yoongi says, sipping from his beer. “But he’s a good kid.”

“His eyes change colour,” Jungkook says, the words slipping from his mouth before his drunken mind can weigh them properly. “It’s cool.” He puffs his cheeks and nods to himself. His hair does too. It’s cool. Jungkook likes it.

There’s a strange silence around the table and when Jungkook focuses again, they’re all kinda staring at him. He blinks a few times.

“What?” he says. “It is cool.”

“You’re drunk,” Hoseok says, jabbing him in the arm. “Brat’s so drunk.”

“Am not,” Jungkook grumbles. “I just think it’s cool.”

Seokjin smiles at him, all pretty and sweet like usual. “Jungkookie, it’s not possible for someone’s eyes to change colours.”

Jungkook considers the logic for a moment then shrugs. “I dunno. But his do. They were blue earlier.”

Yoongi raises a brow and pretends to entertain him. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. It was real quick but they were blue.”

“Real quick, huh?”

Jungkook squints at Yoongi. “Stop trying to trick me.”

Yoongi smirks and takes another sip from his beer. “Not trying to trick anyone, kid.” He drums his fingers on the bench. “But nah, I’m glad you two get along. Tae’s a good kid.”

Namjoon hums and cradles his drink. “Yeah,” he says quietly, and Seokjin rubs his back. “Real good kid.”

A strange sort of grief falls over them all that has Jungkook squirming in his seat. Something is wrong, that much he can tell. But then he catches Jimin and Taehyung joining the party again and Taehyung sends him a boxy grin and whatever concerns Jungkook had leave him completely. He waves the pair over and starts pouring them both a drink.

“Taehyung-hyung,” he says, tightening the cap on the coke before handing the drink to the older boy.

“Mm, Kookie?” Taehyung comes to stand beside Jungkook and drapes his arm over his shoulders.

Jungkook holds his cup to the group. “Tell them your eyes change colour.”

Jimin chokes on his drink, spraying it everywhere. He splutters and wipes a hand over his mouth, eyes looking around the group incredulously. But there’s a strange tightness in his expression.

Jungkook ignores it.

Taehyung laughs, low and quiet. “Yah, Kookie, how much have you had to drink?”

Jungkook pinches him. “Tell them!”

Taehyung laughs again and bats Jungkook away. “All right, all right.” He props both elbows on the counter and gestures for everyone to lean in close. “All right,” he whispers, side-eying them all. “Wanna see something cool?”

“Taehyung,” Jimin says in warning.

Taehyung waves him off. “My eyes totally change colour.”

Seokjin laughs nervously and wraps gentle fingers around Taehyung’s wrist. “Taehyungie - “

“They’ll be pink in three seconds. Ready? Three. Two. One!”

Taehyung opens his eyes comically wide. There’s a beat of silence - tense, nervous silence that Jungkook thinks is getting really common and really strange - and then everyone’s sighing and groaning and complaining and leaning back while Taehyung stares at them with big brown eyes before breaking down into laughter.

“Sorry, Kookie,” he says, arm going back around Jungkook’s shoulders. His gaze is directed down and he smiles secretively to himself before flicking his eyes in Jungkook’s direction. He laughs and squeezes Jungkook to his side. “No magic here.”

The party spirals on and Jungkook’s eyesight does start going to shit and if he’s honest the last quarter of the party is basically blank. Except for brown eyes flashing blue and brown hair tinted red - that is constant, just like Taehyung’s laugh is constant, just like Taehyung’s boxy smile and heavy gaze and warm touch are constant. Jungkook has fuzzy memories of touching more and more, of sitting on a couch and having Taehyung sit on the armrest next to him and lean over and breathe over the shell of his ear as he whispered bad jokes to him. Then there’s the startling clear memory of Taehyung falling off the armrest and crashing to the floor and Jungkook had laughed and laughed but Seokjin had gone pale and Namjoon had looked like he’d been punched in the gut and Yoongi - Yoongi and Jimin had vanished off somewhere. But Hoseok was there to laugh it off and pick Taehyung up and steady him and seat him down again.
The rest is all hazy again but Jungkook knows he can somewhat remember the rest of the group drifting off and Taehyung sliding down to sit beside him and their conversation turning low and private and then someone’s offering tequila again and Jungkook and Taehyung are taking it and Taehyung is looking at him and Jungkook is looking back and there’s the danger and promise in Taehyung’s dark depthless gaze again and then -

Taehyung’s mouth tastes like tequila but Jungkook’s sure his tastes worse. He shifts, hands sliding over Taehyung to trace his hips and cup his face and then he’s leaning his weight into Taehyung and biting on the swell of his lower lip. Taehyung hums quietly, turning pliant beneath Jungkook’s touch and he can’t believe they’re making out on the couch like teenagers.

“Your eyes are blue,” Jungkook thinks he said, breathing the words over Taehyung’s mouth before kissing him again.

And Jungkook is pretty sure Taehyung had laughed and spoke the words into his mouth: “Sorry, Jungkookie. Still no magic here.”

That night Jungkook has strange dreams. He dreams of a forest impossible to navigate, and teeth - no mouth, no face, no body, just teeth. They’re just floating in the air, stretched in an impossibly wide smile as they coo riddles and nonsense at him as he stumbles through the trees. The world tilts and leans oddly and he keeps falling, struggling to keep himself upright, and each time he ends up on the ground, those teeth smile wider and wider and then there’s that deranged laugh.

He wakes with his chest heaving. His alarm is blaring and he reaches for it blindly and why the fuck did he set it last night in his drunken stupor? His hands are shaking and when he tries to get out of bed, the world tips on its side and he ends up on his knees.

Yoongi comes out of their bathroom, towel drying his hair. He gives Jungkook a funny look. “How hungover are you?”

Jungkook swallows. His throat feels like sandpaper. “A lot,” he croaks, rubbing his throat. “Apparently.” Jungkook curls his fingers in his sheets. He feels like absolute shit. His stomach is lurching and his head is spinning. “Whaddya doing up so early?”

“Still slurring, huh?”

“I am not,” Jungkook mumbles, rubbing his hand over his eyes because the light fucking hurts. He breathes in deeply through his nose a few times and his hand makes its way to cup his mouth because he’s not totally certain he’s not about to puke. Sighing, he drops his hand. All right. He’s good.

Yoongi smirks. “Your lips are pretty swollen, kid. Who’d you make out with?”

“If you hadn’t been busy having a quickie with Jimin-hyung last night, you might know already,” Jungkook retorts, finally making it to his feet. He raises his brows at the hickies on Yoongi’s chest, smirking as he folds his arms over his own chest. “They’re real pretty, hyung.”

Yoongi splutters and tries to cover them with his hands. “Fuck off.”

“Jimin bit down real nice and hard for that one on your hip, hyung - “

“- shut up you little - “

“ - wonder what his final destination was?”

Yoongi groans, head falling into his hands. “Jesus Christ, what have I raised?”

Chapter Text

Jungkook doesn’t see Taehyung again for another two weeks. Occasionally he spots him across the quad, and Jimin speaks of him, but Jungkook doesn’t personally interact with him until Tuesday afternoon, when he’s ducking down to the corner store for some much needed replenishment - aka, triangle kimbap and ramen. The speaker above the door spits out its usual pathetic greeting. It crackles worse than ever and Jungkook seriously considers ripping it down and replacing it with a bell. There’s no one behind the counter so Jungkook disappears into the aisles to gather what he came for.

When he goes to pay, Taehyung is behind the counter with his palms pressed into his eyes and head bowed. Jungkook frowns and sets his belongings down on the bench.

“Hey,” he says, reaching out to pull Taehyung’s hands away from his eyes. “You ok?”

Taehyung blinks blearily at him. His eyes are rimmed red and shadowed by bags. His skin is pale under the lights and his hair looks as though it throws shades of purple. He smiles. “Jungkookie!”

Jungkook lets out a small laugh and drops his hands by his side. “Yeah, hey, hyung.”

“Hyung? I like hyung.”

Jungkook laughs again but his eyes are drawn to the redness of Taehyung’s cheeks and the lack of focus in his gaze. “Hey, hyung…”

Taehyung scans his items mindlessly. “Hmm?”

Jungkook opens and closes his mouth. Taehyung clearly looks unwell but - Jungkook drops his gaze and fishes for his wallet. “So, um, how’d you pull up after the party?”

Taehyung laughs, low and quiet. “Yeah, all right. Seokjin-hyung made pancakes though!”

“Damn, I should have crashed the night too.”

Taehyung takes the 5000 won note and gives back 900 in coin. “Oh, nah, I live there, actually.”

Jungkook pauses at that and frowns. He’s been to that many of Namjoon’s parties in the past few months that they’ve all become one massive blur. “How haven’t I see you before then?”

The speaker above the door croaks out a loud greeting as another customer comes in. Taehyung chirps a merry greeting at her. She waves at Taehyung, barely giving him a glance as she disappears into the aisles. Taehyung gets comfortable again, resting both elbows on the counter. “I only moved in that week. It was how Namjoon-hyung convinced Seokjin-hyung to let him have another party.” Taehyung tilts his head and smiles at him with sleepy eyes.

“When’d you start working here, then?”

Taehyung scratches the back of his head. “Uh… Like the day you first saw me here? My health was really shit for a while - that’s kind of actually how I scored the job.”

Jungkook stares at him.

Taehyung laughs, then straightens as the girl comes to the counter to pay. He rings her items up quickly and cheerily wishes her a good day as she leaves. The moment the door closes behind her, the smile drops from his face and exhaustion swamps his expression. He runs a hand over his face. “What was I saying? Oh yeah. Yeah, no, because my health is shit, I had to quit my old job. And then Seokjin-hyung went all mother hen on me and insisted I move in until I had something going for me again. Then Jiminie said he could score me a job here, and my health didn’t matter because Jimin could always just cover for me!” He smiles and nods to himself, appreciating Jimin’s logic. Again, the smile doesn’t last long, and Jungkook wonders if this is the shit health he keeps mentioning.

“Come here,” Jungkook says, throwing caution to the wind. He crooks his fingers and beckons for Taehyung to lean over the counter. He cups the back of his head with one hand and slips his other under the fall of Taehyung’s fringe and feels his forehead. Taehyung’s eyes flutter closed, and Jungkook can see his lips are cracked and dry. He presses the backs of his fingers to Taehyung’s cheeks next, just to be sure, then clicks his tongue. “Yah, hyung, you’re burning up. You should go home.”

Taehyung’s eyes flutter open and Jungkook makes to remove the hand cupping the back of his neck but Taehyung looks so dazed for a moment that he keeps it there as support. Something shimmers across his eyes and Jungkook frowns, leaning closer to try catch a glimpse of it because he swears he saw -

Taehyung blinks and it’s gone.

“I’m ok, Kookie,” he says, voice a little hoarse. He smiles and rolls his shoulders. Jungkook drops his hand and doesn’t comment on how quickly and easily Taehyung has taken to calling him Jungkookie and Kookie. If he’s being honest, he likes hearing it in Taehyung’s low tenor as much as Taehyung apparently likes hearing hyung.

“You said Jimin said he would cover if your health was bad,” Jungkook says, fingering the plastic bag. “Did you… should I call him?”

“Nah, I’m good. Besides, Jiminie has an essay due tomorrow.”

Jungkook purses his lips and chews the inside of his cheek. Taehyung really does look awful, more so under the fluorescent lights. And if his health is that much of an issue… “I could cover the store?”

Taehyung laughs at that, eyes crinkling, lips forming a rectangle. “Honestly, Jungkook, I’m fine. Thanks, though. I’ve only got two more hours left before my shift’s over. I’m good.”

“All right, hyung,” Jungkook says, though it isn’t really. He grabs the plastic bag and hooks it over his wrist. “I’ll catch you later?”

“Sounds good.” Taehyung smiles at him and waves him out the door.

Jungkook walks alongside the store, peering through the window. He slows to a stop and cranes his head to look closer. Taehyung is standing with his head tipped back, eyes closed. He takes a deep breath then braces one arm on the counter and drops his head to rest in his other hand. Jungkook chews on his lip, internally debating with himself. When Taehyung folds his arms on the counter and buries his face in them, Jungkook makes up his mind.

The speaker above the door announces his re-entrance. Taehyung jerks his head up quickly - too quickly - and stumbles back a step. He plasters a smile on his face. “Forget something?”

Jungkook holds his phone up and deadpans. “Yoongi-hyung text. Jimin’s over.”

“And?” Taehyung says slowly, frowning as he massages his temple and tries to figure out the implications.

“And,” Jungkook says, then raises his brows.

Taehyung blinks once, twice, then “oh!” He pulls a face. “Oh.”

Jungkook dumps his stuff on the counter. “So, want some company for the last two hours of your shift?”

For a moment, Taehyung just watches him, and Jungkook gets the feeling that Taehyung can see right through his ploy. But he just smiles, eyes drooping tiredly. “Yeah, all right.”

They talk for a while. Taehyung quizzes him on his preferences (“Broccoli or cauliflower?” “Does it matter? They’re both vile.” “Yes but one is distinctly more vile than the other.”) and goes elephant hunting on Jungkook’s arms. Jungkook silently watches Taehyung, watches as his fever seems to worsen as the two hours ticks away. They soon clear the display on the back counter so they can sit up on it. Taehyung rests his head on Jungkook’s shoulder and Jungkook cups his hand over Taehyung’s forehead, checking the heat that radiates from his skin. Taehyung teases him for being worse than Seokjin and Jimin, but soon agrees with Jungkook that no one can mother hen better than Seokjin.

Jungkook doesn’t bother to move his hand but Taehyung, who nods off with half an hour of his shift to go, doesn’t seem to mind.

The hum of the air-conditioning isn’t quite as loud as Jungkook would like. He can still, unfortunately, hear his lecturer droning on, and on, and on. Jungkook huffs out a breath and sinks lower in his chair. He taps a rhythm with his pencil on his book and looks down at the page. He’s scribbled down the date and the week. That’s it.

Oh.

Wait.

He even got the week wrong.

Jungkook scribbles it out and corrects it. The left corner of his mouth quirks. There. Progress.

His phone vibrates and he scrambles to catch it before it sends itself right off the edge of the desk. He bangs his knee on the underside of the desk loudly and winces, glancing up to see if anyone is staring. No one has noticed and he sinks back into his seat again, holding his phone to his chest. He tilts it to check the screen. There’s a text from Jimin.

From: Jimin

Yo can’t hang out after class anymore sorry

To:  Jimin

Fuck you

From: Jimin

Fuck yourself. Show some respect

To: Jimin

Sorry. Fuck you hyung*

To: Jimin

Nah all g. Why not?

From: Jimin

Got called into work. Tae’s not well

Jungkook’s fingers hover over the screen as he reads the message again. He debates mentioning Taehyung being sick last week as well but isn’t sure it’s worth it - or that it’s his place. He glances up when the lecturer coughs loudly. The man reaches for his water and takes a sip, apologising. Jungkook turns his attention back to his phone.

To: Jimin

That sucks

From: Jimin

Tell me about it

From: Jimin

Come visit me

From: Jimin

Entertain me

From: Jimin

Love me

To: Jimin

Why don’t you ask Yoongi-hyung?

From: Jimin

…

From: Jimin

I hate you

Jungkook grins and is typing and sending his next message without being aware of it.

To: Jimin

Dude wasn’t Taehyung sick last week too?

From: Jimin

How’d you know?

To: Jimin

Got snacks

From: Jimin

Wait he was sick at work? Little prick didn’t mention it

To: Jimin

Yeah at work. I offered to call you but he said he was fine

From: Jimin

Was this when you hung around at work with him? When I supposedly was at Yoongi’s?

To: Jimin

Yeah I used your sex life as my ploy. Cheers hyung~

From: Jimin

Little shit. You’re lucky I covered

From: Jimin

Nah but thanks for looking out for him. He’s going through some things

To: Jimin

He said his health has been real shit…?

It takes a while for Jimin’s reply to come. Jungkook sighs and runs a hand through his hair, looking to his lecturer again. He swears quietly under his breath when he realises there’s an all new equation on the board and he hurries to scribble it down, trying to follow the math. He barely gets the last decimal point written down before the lecturer is clearing the board and continuing onto a second new equation.

“We’ll quickly go over all four equations today,” he says as he begins equation number two. “You’ll go over them more closely with your tutors next week. For now, try to familiarise yourself with them.”

Jungkook’s phone vibrates on his desk. He reaches for it with his left hand, gaze still trained on the board, right hand still scribbling down notes. He glances quickly at the screen.

From: Jimin

Yeah it’s been bad

Jungkook hisses and scribbles out the 8 he wrote, replacing it with a 6.

From: Jimin

I know it’s kinda weird to ask because you just met but you two get on well so

Jungkook flips his page and keeps writing, swearing under his breath when his phone vibrates for a third time.

From: Jimin

Keep an eye on him, yeah?

Jungkook stops writing. He puts down his pencil and frowns at his screen. Keep an eye on him? Wasn’t it just the occasional fever or something? He licks his lips and sends off his reply.

To: Jimin

Yeah sure hyung

From: Jimin

Thanks Kookie

From: Jimin

Seriously

From: Jimin

Thank you

When Jungkook finally escapes the lecture hall, it is with a sore wrist, tired eyes, and an overloaded head. The afternoon sun is too hot and he rubs the back of his neck as he starts his way home. He decides to take the long way to the dorm because yeah the sun is hot but the breeze is nice and summer afternoons deserve to be taken advantage of.

He pulls out his headphones as he walks, grumbling to himself as he tugs at the chords to untangle them. He puts the earbuds in and presses play, then slips his phone into his back pocket. His group partner from last semester catches his eye and they offer each other a brief wave. Jungkook releases a quiet breath of relief when the guy doesn’t make his way over. He’s so not in the mood to chat.

He steps off the quad pavers and jogs down the hill. The grass is getting long and no doubt the groundsmen will be there tomorrow morning to cut it down to size. He glances up as he nears the bottom. The sun reflects off the small pond set in the middle of the green space. There’s a student here or there, lapping up the sun as they sit on the wooden benches. Jungkook passes them and walks up to the edge of the pond, then walks along it.

He raises a brow when he notices a guy asleep at the pond’s edge, fingers lost in the longer strands of grass that encompass the body of water. As he nears, he smirks slowly, and when he comes to where the guy sleeps, he stops.

Taehyung sleeps on.

Jungkook crouches, tugs out his earphones, and pokes Taehyung’s cheek incessantly. “Hyung. Hyung. Hyung. Taehyung. Taehyung. Hyuuunnnggg.”

Taehyung groans, hand coming up to bat Jungkook away. The same hand shields his eyes as he blinks them open. He looks at Jungkook blearily. “Jungkookie?”

Jungkook plops down to sit in the grass beside him. “Yeah. Hey.”

Taehyung hums sleepily, head lolling as he closes his eyes again. “Hey. Just finished class?”

“Yeah, on my way to the dorms. Thought I would take the scenic route.”

“Ah,” Taehyung says quietly, eyes opening slightly so he can smile cat-like at Jungkook.

“Nice hair.”

Taehyung frowns and pats at his head. “Is it a mess?”

“No, I mean the colour. The lilac looks good.”

Taehyung’s hand freezes and he blinks. “Oh. Cheers. It’s only temporary, I’m afraid.” He runs his fingers through it a few times. “Sorry about your plans with Jimin.”

Jungkook drops his book on the grass and leans back, holding his weight on his hands. “Dude, don’t even worry about it. He said you were sick?”

Taehyung snorts. “He found out I had a dizzy spell in class today and went all Seokjin-hyung on my ass. Sent me a text saying he’d already called up to say I was ill and that he was coming in instead.” He stretches out, limbs elongating and brushing through the grass. It reminds Jungkook of a cat. “But it means I get to come here and relax.”

“Do you always come here?”

Taehyung rolls onto his front and shimmies forward to drag his fingers through the water. “Yeah. Reminds me of it,” he says quietly, tilting his head.

Jungkook raises a brow. The sun is hot on his skin and he considers kicking off his shoes to stick his feet in the water. Taehyung’s skin glows golden and when he looks over his shoulder to smile at Jungkook, he swears he can see a lake in his eyes. But then Taehyung blinks and it’s gone and Jungkook assumes it was the reflection of the pond.

“What about you?” Taehyung asks.

“Only sometimes. Usually I’m too keen to get home.”

Taehyung smiles and it’s different to his usual boxy grin. This one is all teeth and it stretches his lips wide. “You mean you don’t like spending every extra minute of your day on campus? What a surprise.”

Jungkook snorts and rolls his eyes. “And you do?”

Taehyung laughs. “Nah, just here. I like it here. It’s my favourite.” He splashes his hand through his reflection then sits up. “Hey, wanna study together next week?”

“I just got gifted with four equations each a page long,” Jungkook says, tilting his head to examine the way Taehyung’s eyes look kind of yellow under the sun. “So yeah, I’m keen. Wanna go to The Cafe?”

“The Cafe?” Taehyung echoes, batting at the long grass. He lets out a loud ‘nyaah!’ and seizes a handful, ripping it from the earth.

“Yeah. The Cafe.”

“The Cafe?”

“Yes, The Cafe.”

Taehyung flops down onto the grass again and rolls onto his back, waving his fistful of grass in the air. “Don’t know it.”

“Hoseok hasn’t dragged you there yet?”

“Nope!” Taehyung says cheerily, popping the p. He’s grown restless, rolling side to side. He brings himself closer to Jungkook and starts poking and prodding.

“Well - it’s - “ Jungkook frowns and lifts his arm, peering down at where Taehyung is jabbing him violently in the hip. “It’s - How about we just meet here and I’ll take us?”

Taehyung smiles up at him. “Sounds good.”

“You’re worse than my grandma’s cat,” Jungkook mutters as Taehyung takes to stretching and twisting Jungkook’s shirt around his fingers.

Taehyung goes still for a moment, then laughs nervously and pats Jungkook’s shirt back into place. “Sorry. Too much energy.”

“Says the guy who was passed out asleep in the grass a few minutes ago.”

Taehyung flexes his arms and wiggles his brows. “Power napping like a pro.”

But Jungkook can still see the tiredness that lingers on Taehyung’s skin.

When Yoongi shakes him awake at three in the morning the next day, Jungkook yells out and fights him off.

“Hey, hey, hey! Kid, it’s me!” Yoongi says, batting his flailing arms away. “Jungkook! Jungkook, hey, it’s ok.”

Jungkook looks up at him with wide eyes, chest heaving. “H-hyung,” he croaks. His heart is hammering in his chest. “Yoongi-hyung.”

Yoongi frowns. “Yeah, me.” He picks Jungkook’s quilt up off the floor and dumps it on the end of the bed. “You good?”

Jungkook nods slowly. “Yeah. Sorry,” he says, gaze wandering over the room.

Yoongi’s hand on his shoulder startles him. “You sure you good? You’re disorientated as fuck, man.”

He’s not completely wrong. Jungkook’s head is reeling and the room is spinning just that little bit too fast. He gulps a breath down and holds it. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Give me a second.”

Nodding, Yoongi straightens and folds his arms over his chest. Jungkook gazes up at him, vision swimming. The dream still curls through his mind like remnants of smoke. The world from his dream spun even worse than the room is now. There’d been a tea party, and happy birthday, and Jungkook might as well have been drunk out of his mind for how often he lost his footing. His vision kept jumping in and out, like a cameraman on crack. One minute he’s looking at the party from afar, and the next he’s nose to nose with a crazed man with red hair and blue eyes and a dangerous smile.

Jungkook cups his hands over his ears precariously. He can still hear the happy birthday tune. He takes his hands away and tries again. Nope. Can still hear it.

“What did I eat before bed?” Jungkook muses aloud, gaze drifting over to Yoongi.

Yoongi is rubbing at his eyes tiredly. “What?” He gives Jungkook a look. “Go back to sleep, kid.”

Jungkook nods slowly. “Ok. Sleep. Yeah.”

Yoongi inclines his head and leans forward, bracing his arms on his knees. He frowns. “Hey, you all right, Kook? Honestly.”

“Honestly, hyung? Not a fucking clue.”

Yoongi chuckles dryly. “Reassuring.”

Jungkook releases a slow breath and tilts his head with a raise of his brows as if to say ‘yeah, well’. “Tell me about it.”

The dreams continue every night for the next week, leaving Jungkook exhausted and wound too tight. There’s bags under his eyes and his hands shake and he has constant motion sickness. He sleeps through most of his boring lecture with the droning professor - and immediately regrets it at the end when the clatter of students wakes him and he’s sees a whole new equation on the board. Groaning, Jungkook gathers his things. He debates texting Taehyung to say he needs a rain check but realises he doesn’t have Taehyung’s fucking number and groans again.

He drags himself out of the lecture hall and across the quad and down the small hill and flops down at the pond’s edge. He frisbees his notebook off to the right and lies down, shielding his eyes with his arm. His class finished early and they’re not due to meet for another 20 minutes, so Jungkook tries to catch some sleep.

He falls into the dream immediately. He’s at a lake and then he’s in the lake and it’s so salty he floats. The sun is hot and the water is cool and the breeze blows through, sending him drifting across the giant lake like a leaf. He’s wary. The dream is never this calm. As soon as he thinks it, the world flips and he’s tossed under the water, unable to tell up from down, unable to breathe. He flails his limbs and chokes on salty water and -

“Hey, Kookie,” a low voice soothes quietly. “It’s ok. Wake up now, hmm?”

And Jungkook does, gasping for air loudly as his eyes shoot open. He immediately closes them again because the sun is so bright, too bright, but he gulps down oxygen greedily.

“All right, Kookie. You’re all right.”

When he looks, Taehyung is crouching beside him, silhouetted by the sun. His hair is brown again.

“Hyung,” Jungkook says stupidly, like he did the night Yoongi woke him. “Taehyung-hyung.”

Taehyung laughs and sits. “That’s right. Well done. Good, Jungkookie.” The left side of his lips quirk. “I don’t have any treats to give you, but will a pat on the head do? Or a scratch behind the ear?”

Jungkook groans and sits. “I’m good. Cheers.”

“You sure?” Taehyung asks, and when Jungkook looks, there’s genuine concern creasing his brow.

“Yeah, hyung,” Jungkook says. “Just a really fucked up dream.” He runs both hands through his hair and shakes his head. “You good to go?”

Taehyung nods and then hands Jungkook his notebook. “Found this in the grass,” he says, raising an amused brow. “Take it you weren’t overly impressed with today’s lecture?”

They get to their feet and Jungkook leads them back to the quad. “Dunno,” he says. “Slept through most of it.”

Taehyung laughs, even as he tries to scold him. “So if I bother to ask how those equations are coming - “

Jungkook groans and takes Taehyung’s sleeve, tugging him out of someone’s way. “Yeah. Don’t. They’re not.”

They walk to the other side of campus slowly. Jungkook listens quietly as Taehyung rambles on about his day, complains about the group project he has due next week, and contemplates how differently cities would be built if humans could fly.

“But seriously,” Taehyung says, stopping only to thank Jungkook when he holds the door open. “Elevators would be obsolete. If you’re in an apartment block, you just fly to your front door!”

“Yeah but what about old people?” Jungkook asks.

“What about them?”

“Well you know how they get bad at walking when they get old? Wouldn’t they get bad at flying?”

Taehyung frowns thoughtfully as he slides into his seat. He sets his books down, gaze drifting right.

“And,” Jungkook says, dumping his own shit on the table before he sits. “What about the disabled? Like people in wheelchairs? If there are people who can’t walk, then there’ll be people who can’t fly. I mean some people are born without arms - what if they’re born without wings? Wait do we have wings or can we just fly…?”

Jungkook silently questions when he got so fucking into the conversation but then he’s come to learn that’s just Taehyung. Their debate about broccoli versus cauliflower did get pretty heated last time.

“Rocket chairs,” Taehyung says simply. He raises his shoulders in a shrug, as if to say ‘duh motherfucker’.

“Rocket chairs,” Jungkook repeats dubiously.

“Yeah.” Taehyung arranges his textbooks until he has the one he wants on top. “Instead of wheel chairs, it’ll be rocket chairs, so they can still fly.”

“Right. And what about the old people?”

“Old people rocket scooters.”

Jungkook starts laughing as he opens his notebook. “Old people rocket scooters?”

“Ye-ah.” Taehyung gives him a look like he’s stupid. “Old people scooters. With rockets.” Taehyung prods at Jungkook’s notebook with the end of his pen. Jungkook can see it’s badly chewed. “Aren’t you supposed to be doing some smart degree? You should know this shit.”

“Right, old people rocket scooters. I’ll drop it to my tutor tomorrow, see what she thinks.”

Taehyung purses his lips to try hide his smile but it doesn’t work. Jungkook is glad it doesn’t because he’s decided he really really likes when Taehyung smiles. “Shut up, brat. Just do your work.”

By some miracle, they do actually get some work done. Not much, but some. They get distracted easily - correction, Taehyung gets distracted easily, and Jungkook is easily distracted by Taehyung. They’ve shared a serving of waffles, each downed an ice coffee topped with cream and fudge sauce, and now Taehyung is eyeing up the cheesecakes.

“I really want one,” he whispers to Jungkook.

Jungkook looks up from his page, eyebrow raised. “We got 30 seconds into our pact not to speak for 10 minutes, hyung. 30. Seconds.”

“But I really fucking want a cheesecake.”

Jungkook deadpans at him.

“All right, all right,” Taehyung says, tugging his textbook closer. He uncaps his highlighter with his teeth and speaks around the lid. “Start the pact now.”

Jungkook nods and goes back to his equation.

“Ooh, there’s muffins!”

Jungkook puts his pen down and drops his head to the page. “Oh my god, hyung.”

“What? They look good…”

“2 minutes. You lasted 2 minutes. I made a single calculation.”

Taehyung turns his textbook so that Jungkook can see. “Ha! I highlighted ten lines. Who’s the productive one now?”

“You highlighted the whole fucking paragraph!” Jungkook shoves the book away. “That doesn’t count.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“All right then, Mr It-Doesn’t-Count. Open your textbook.”

“What? Why?” Jungkook does it anyway and Taehyung sets a timer on his phone for two minutes.

He sets the phone down in the middle of the table and hovers his finger over the start button. “Whoever highlights the most information in the next two minutes has to buy the other a muffin.”

“Fine. But no highlighting whole paragraphs. Or whole pages,” Jungkook adds when he can see the idea blossoming in Taehyung’s mind.

Taehyung makes a noise of disgust. “Fine. We’ll trade books at the end and deem if what the other highlighted was actually worth highlighting.” He smirks at Jungkook. “Hope your wallet’s ready.”

“Whatever, hyung. Just start the damn timer.”

Taehyung does. And it goes off straight away.

Jungkook laughs as Taehyung scrambles for his phone. SNSD’s Gee blares loudly throughout the cafe.

“I thought you said two minutes, hyung, not two seconds.”

Taehyung rubs the back of his neck, reading his screen. “Nah, it’s my alarm for work. I forgot I swapped shifts with Jiminie as a thanks for last week. I gotta go, sorry, Jungkookie.”

Jungkook shrugs and watches Taehyung gather his stuff together. “You going straight there?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll come with you.”

Taehyung stops and looks at him. He frowns. “To work?”

Jungkook shrugs and drops his gaze. He scribbles down a random number, trying to appear nonchalant. But really, he wants to keep Taehyung with him as badly as he did when he was drunk as Namjoon’s. “Yeah. I mean, we might actually get some study done if you’re not getting distracted by muffins and cheesecake.”

“…All right then,” Taehyung says, sounding unsure. He beams suddenly, boxy and bright. “Yeah! It’ll be good. I like company. I get bored otherwise.”

“Like you don’t know ways to entertain yourself.”

“This is true,” Taehyung admits as he stands. “But this will be better. You sure?”

“Yes, hyung. Or else I wouldn’t have offered.”

Taehyung smiles at him. “Ok.”

They don’t get any study done. Taehyung gets distracted by all the brands of candy he hasn’t tried and they attempt to eat their way through the store.

“Hey, Jungkookie.”

“I’m not eating anything else,” Jungkook groans, hands on stomach.

“But I just found the international shit!”

“Fuck.”

“Hey, Jungkookie.”

“What, hyung?”

“We should do this every week. This is fun. I like you.”

Jungkook drops his gaze. “Yeah, whatever, sounds good,” he says, voice gruff as he tears open the packet of - he checks the label. Snakes? “Just eat,” and he takes three of the damn snakes and crams them into Taehyung’s grinning mouth.

That night, when Jungkook dreams he is drowning in the salty lake again, Taehyung is there to show him which way is up. They surface and Taehyung laughs and kicks off, swimming laps around Jungkook. Jungkook watches the boy with lilac hair and yellow cat eyes and smiles. The world stays steady for once.

Chapter Text

Spring is basically a thing of myth, Jungkook decides as he fans himself with his shirt. Spring has decided to fuck them all over and just not show up. Summer is more or less here. And it sucks ass.

The small fan sitting on the counter does what it can - which is a whole fucking lot of nothing. It spins side to side, puffing the occasional cool air at the two boys sitting on the back counter, eating their third ice cream of the hour.

“Could have warned me the aircon was out,” Jungkook says.

Jimin shrugs and stares at the fan. “You’re right. I could have.”

“But you didn’t.”

Jimin shoots him an innocent grin. “Nope!”

“Fuck you, hyung,” Jungkook mutters, leaning back against the wall. He licks at his fingers. Ice cream has melted all over them. It’s sticky. “Fuck. You.”

The speaker croaks out its greeting as three guys come in. Jimin waves at them lazily, too busy licking at his fingers to realise it’s Hoseok, Yoongi and Namjoon.

“Right there?” Yoongi drawls, coming up to lean on the counter. “Having fun?”

Jimin blinks quickly then sneers at Yoongi. “Shut up, hyung.” It sounds rather whiny.

Jungkook watches Hoseok and Namjoon weave through the aisles. “I’d have thought you enjoyed seeing him lick sticky white shit off his fingers, hyung.” When Jungkook glances over, he’s not 100% sure who’s more likely of the two to have an aneurysm at this very moment. He grins. “You’re wearing matching masks of shame. Cuuuute.”

Yoongi lifts a finger and points it at him. “Fuck you, Jeon. Fuck you.”

“Better get the all clear from Jimin first,” he says, sliding off the counter to join the other two (and to avoid Yoongi when he decides he wants to throw shit). “I ain’t about to be some side-dick.”

“Jeon Jungkook!”

Jungkook scampers, tongue caught between his teeth as he grins. He bowls into Hoseok, who grunts then throws an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders and grins.

“Kookie!”

“Hyung, save me,” Jungkook hisses, twisting his fingers in Hoseok’s shirt. “Yoongi’s trying to kill me.”

Namjoon frowns over at him from where he’s eyeing up the Pringles. “You’ve been running your mouth again, haven’t you.”

Jungkook raises his brows. “Yeah, sorry, Seokjin-hyung.”

Namjoon makes to turn and somehow manages to knock over the top of the Pringles display pyramid. Hoseok and Jungkook stumble back as tins roll at their feet. Namjoon winces and tries to catch the occasional falling tin but fails. When the clatter finishes, there’s silence.

Then a sigh.

“Namjoon-hyung…” Jimin begins, voice drifting over the top of the aisles. “Why? Just why?”

“Ah…” Namjoon rubs the back of his head sheepishly then starts picking up tins. The second he takes a step, he kicks two more away. “Sorry, Jiminie.”

Jungkook blinks down at the cans at his feet. “Namjoon-hyung…”

Namjoon is crouched, trying to bundle as many tins into his arms as he can manage. “Mm, Kookie?”

“Namjoon-hyung…” Jungkook sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “Yah, do you realise how many times Taehyung-hyung made me stack and restack these because the colours ‘need to be complimentary, Kookie, and we’re just not getting the right match’?”

Hoseok laughs and throws his arm around Jungkook’s shoulders. “That’s Tae-Tae for you.”

Jungkook starts to grin but then notices the way Namjoon is studying him and suddenly feels self-conscious. He rubs at the back of his neck and averts his gaze.

“You and Tae hang out a lot, hey?”

Jungkook shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets, eyes jumping from can to can. There’s one tucked under the shelves that Namjoon’ll have to get onto his belly if he wants to fetch it. “Well, yeah. I mean, our schedules kinda match so we study together at least once a week. And our ages are close so…”

Namjoon laughs. As Jungkook predicted, he gets flat on his stomach to reach under the shelves. “Relax, Kookie,” he says, voice muffled. He shimmies a little, cramming more of his arm under the shelves. “Seokjin likes you two hanging out together. Thinks you’re good for Taehyung…”

Jungkook frowns at that. “Ok…?” He raises his brows. “I mean, that’s good, I guess.”

“Plus Tae’s cute and has a killer ass,” Jimin shouts from the counter, though what that has to do with anything, Jungkook’s not sure. Still, he feels his neck grow warm and his ears are on fire and his cheeks are definitely flushing. Fuck.

Hoseok notices. He reels back, doing a comical double-take. “Holy shit,” he says, before he starts laughing incredulously. “He’s blushing. Yoongi! The kid’s blushing!”

“Fuck off,” comes Yoongi’s reply, followed by the sound of shuffling. “Wait, wait, lemme see.”

“Dude, quick. His ears are red and everything!”

“Yah,” Jungkook whines, shrugging out of Hoseok’s hold. He cups his hands over his ears. “Fuck off. Leave me alone.”

Hoseok laughs, loud and bright. “He’s getting even more red!”

By now, Yoongi’s reached them. He tugs at Jungkook’s hands, trying to get to his ears. “Fuck off, he is too. This is fucking golden.”

“Yah! Hyung!”

On Friday, Jungkook ends up at a party he wasn’t invited to. He doesn’t know the house, half the crowd, or even the host, but Jimin drags him along with promises that the usual crew will be in attendance. He goes along willingly. He’s tipsy and he wants some fun and the party doesn’t disappoint.

Seokin and Namjoon are making out on the couch and Hoseok and Yoongi are behind the DJ station. Jimin leaves Jungkook to go say hi to Yoongi (“And Hoseok-hyung!” “Right. As an afterthought.”) and Jungkook goes off to find them drinks. He finds Taehyung in the kitchen, leaning with one elbow propped on the bench as he gazes up at some guy Jungkook hasn’t seen before. Taehyung’s hair falls into his eyes, which are hazy and dark and depthless, just as Jungkook remembers them from the party at Namjoon’s.

Taehyung’s gaze wanders and lands on Jungkook. There’s no excited shout of his name, like he gets nearly every other time. No, there’s a slow curl of Taehyung’s lips and he straightens, pushing off from the bench and shoving past the guy to attach himself to Jungkook.

“Jeon Jungkook,” he breathes, fingers looping into the waistband of Jungkook’s jeans.

Jungkook tilts his head and raises his brows. “Kim Taehyung.”

Taehyung presses up against Jungkook’s front and guides him back. “Come dance. Now.”

The deja vu is strong, and Jungkook finds himself smirking. “I came for a beer, actually.”

“Later,” Taehyung murmurs, and when his eyes meet Jungkook’s, Jungkook’s witty response flees his mind.

The promise of ‘later’ means so much more.

Jungkook lets Taehyung guide him back and back and back, carefully navigating him through the crowd though he keeps his gaze mostly on Jungkook. Taehyung’s tongue comes out to swipe over his lower lip and Jungkook barely holds back from taking it into his own mouth and sucking on it.

“Whose house is this anyway?” Jungkook says, not sure where the question comes from or why because Taehyung’s eyes are so dark but there’s something more there. And Jungkook isn’t being cliche. There is something more there, something that glimmers across the surface despite the darkness of the room they’re in. Trees sway and the sun beats down on a long, long table, dressed in white and adorned with brightly painted cake platters and tea sets.

“Not a clue.”

“Your eyes,” Jungkook murmurs, feeling dazed.

Taehyung laughs lowly. “Jungkookie,” he says, singing Jungkook’s name. His fingers feather over the curve of Jungkook’s neck and his eyes drop to Jungkook’s mouth. “We’ve been over this.” He leans in, breathing the words over the swell of Jungkook’s bottom lip. “No magic here.”

Jungkook inhales and shakes his head. “No. No, something else. They - “

“Yah, Jeon Jungkook,” Taehyung says quietly. “Dance with me.” His fingers guide Jungkook’s hips until he’s swaying with the beat. “There we go.”

It’s practically a purr. It reminds Jungkook of the lilac-haired, yellow-eyed Taehyung who has been living in his dreams of late. Jungkook blinks and finds he’s staring at Taehyung’s mouth. He’s still dazed, still marvelling over the tea party in Taehyung’s gaze, and he uses that as his excuse because he’s definitely not tipsy enough to be tracing his thumb over Taehyung’s lower lip.

Taehyung’s mouth parts to let out a quiet breath and Jungkook moves in, capturing the breath in his own lungs and passing it back. Taehyung’s arm loops around his neck and he grins against Jungkook’s mouth.

Jungkook likes kissing Taehyung. He kinda wants to make it as much of a habit as Taehyung seems to have. Taehyung, who leans over the counter to kiss him when Jungkook is pouring drinks for them. Taehyung, who kisses him when there’s a wall to push him up against. Taehyung, who kisses him when there’s a spot of dark lighting to slot into.

He likes kissing Taehyung. He likes the way Taehyung’s tongue delves into his mouth, maps out the rows of his teeth and curls to brush against the roof of his mouth. He likes the way Taehyung tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth and meets his gaze through his lashes. He likes the way Taehyung presses up against him and curls his fingers in the hair at Jungkook’s nape and when Jungkook kisses him just right, Taehyung sighs into his mouth and tugs on Jungkook’s hair.

He likes kissing Taehyung.

The group meet up again by the couch Seokjin and Namjoon were making out on. Taehyung’s fingers are cuffed around Jungkook’s wrist and his lips are red and swollen. Taehyung licks over them and sends Jungkook a small secret grin. Jungkook manages to hide his own grin, but when he looks back, Seokjin is looking between them knowingly.

“So,” Jungkook says, clearing his throat. “Shots?”

Taehyung voices his agreement, fingers tightening around Jungkook’s wrist. Then suddenly his voice is cutting out and his knees are buckling. The red cup in his other hand falls to the ground, the mixed drink from earlier sloshing over the floor. Jungkook reaches around to snatch up Taehyung’s other arm and he manages to slow the descent. Taehyung’s fingers grapple at his upper arms and he uses Jungkook to keep on his feet - barely - and he almost topples Jungkook as well but a beat passes and they’re both steady.

Jungkook laughs, gazing down at Taehyung. “Yah, hyung. How drunk are you?”

But when Jungkook gets Taehyung on his feet good and proper and looks around, he sees everyone else’s expressions are tight and - and scared. Jungkook’s expression falls slowly. Seokjin stands and offers Taehyung his seat. When Taehyung laughs and turns it down, Yoongi shoves him hard enough to have him fall into the seat.

Jungkook breathes slowly. The moment flips on its head, and suddenly the way Taehyung had grappled at Jungkook for balance reeks of panic. Jungkook frowns as he watches Hoseok and Jimin wordlessly clean up the spilled drink, whilst Namjoon fetches Taehyung water and Seokjin hovers over him and Yoongi watches with a stony expression, arms folded over his chest.

Jungkook blinks and meets Taehyung’s gaze. Taehyung smiles apologetically and makes some comment Jungkook doesn’t hear.

The moment plays over and over in his head.

Just…

Just how sick is Taehyung?

That night when Jungkook’s dreams go to shit, Taehyung is nowhere to be found. Jungkook throws his hands up to protect his face as wind rips through the clearing. The trees bow and dip dangerously and Jungook staggers a step back. Another gust of wind bursts through, tossing over lawn chairs and tearing up part of the white table cloth. Cake platters and tea cups alike go flying, shattering when they hit the ground, the table, the trees, each other. The earth shakes and Jungkook finds himself on his knees. More wind, more trouble, more damage. He cries out when a chair come hurtling towards him, and he flings himself flat to the ground. When the left side of the table begins to lift from the grass, Jungkook scrambles to his feet and runs.

He dives into the cover of the trees and runs and runs and runs - even when the world flips upside down, even when the wind sends him to his knees, even when the trees bow so low their branches scratch over his skin. He runs and he runs and he runs - and it’s Taehyung’s name on his lips.

Taehyung doesn’t go to class that week (so he hears) and Jimin covers all of his shifts and Taehyung messages Jungkook to say he can’t make their study session on Wednesday. By the time the next week rolls around, Jungkook’s dreams have gone to hell again and so has his sleep cycle. He’s shattered, and when he meets up with Taehyung on Wednesday, it’s the first thing the other guy points out.

“You look awful.”

Jungkook manages a raise of his brows. He’s got his cheek cushioned in his hand as he flips through his text book - though the words are blurry and his head hurts and he’s not taking any of it in.

Taehyung sits down across from him and when Jungkook finally looks up, he sees the other guy is frowning. “Jungkookie, are you sick?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “I’m fine, hyung,” he says, though his voice is low and quiet and barely discernible.

“Uh huh,” Taehyung says in that way that means he doesn’t believe it, but it’s hardly like Jungkook can say he’s in such a bad way because Taehyung isn’t there to set his dreams right anymore. “Do you want a coffee?”

Jungkook shakes his head wordlessly. He fingers at the corner of the page but doesn’t turn it. “How about you, hyung?”

“Hmm?”

Jungkook wants to ask how Taehyung is feeling - the possible severity of Taehyung’s health problems is the only concrete lucid thought Jungkook has had in the past three days - but he doesn’t. Instead he asks, “do you want a coffee?”

Taehyung laughs quietly and reaches out to ruffle Jungkook’s hair. “I’m fine, Kookie. Yah, put your head down, get some rest. I promise I’ll wake you when it’s time to go to work.” Taehyung’s fingers trace over the slope of Jungkook’s nose. “That is, if you’re up for work.”

“I’m good, I’m good.” He closes his eyes and his head tilts forward, pressing closer to Taehyung’s touch.

“You should have just cancelled.” Taehyung’s voice is soft.

“Wanted to see you,” Jungkook murmurs sleepily without thought.

Taehyung stills for a moment then he’s laughing and ruffling Jungkook’s hair again. “Yah, Jungkookie. So cute.”

Jungkook does fall asleep on his textbook - though he doesn’t remember when. More importantly, he doesn’t remember dreaming and for the first time in 12 nights, he sleeps soundly. When Taehyung wakes him, he’s changed into a black hoody and has the hood drawn over his hair. The hood coupled with his bangs throws dark shadows over his eyes. He smiles at Jungkook and pokes his cheek.

“I gotta head to work, Kook. Wanna head home?”

Jungkook rubs at his cheek and looks around the cafe. “Nah,” he says, packing up his things. “I really do need to fucking study.”

Taehyung worries at his lower lip. “You sure you shouldn’t just head home?”

“Yah, hyung, I’m good.” Jungkook gives him a smile and stands. “Promise.” But Taehyung still looks unsure so as they leave the store, Jungkook ponders for the perfect conversation topic to get Taehyung going. “Hey, hyung…” he says slowly.

Taehyung kicks at a loose stone and waves at a girl from his class. “Yeah, Kook?”

“Reckon ants are conscious of their existence? Or are their brains too small?”

He’s met with silence, but when he looks over, he can see Taehyung is seriously considering the moment. Jungkook smiles to himself and walks a little closer to Taehyung.

Jungkook sits up on the back counter, textbook cushioned in his lap. At the other end of the shop, Taehyung bitches loudly at Jimin’s shitty excuse of an artistic eye. Jungkook recalls at least four of Taehyung’s outfits in the past two weeks that have had him double-taking - and not for the right reason - and he has to wonder about who really has the shitty excuse of an artistic eye.

But he agrees with Taehyung anyway, if only because watching the older boy get so riled up is amusing as fuck.

And kinda cute.

Taehyung sighs loudly and slumps so that he can rest his arms on the front counter and cushion his head on them. “Yah, Kookie,” he says.

Jungkook hums and highlights a couple of sentences. The nap at the cafe did him good. The words aren’t swimming on the page anymore.

“Wanna attempt to rearrange the ramen with me?”

Jungkook looks up at that, eyebrow raised. “Hyung, there’s like 20 different kinds. There’s only six Pringles flavours and it took us an hour.”

Taehyung sighs again and looks over his shoulder at the shelves packed full of ramen. “Yeah, I know. But you didn’t say no…”

“Hyung.”

Taehyung whines and drops his head back. “Ok, ok, I’ll do it alone.”

Jungkook shakes his head and goes back to his work - but if he’s being honest, the baggy hoodie looks good on Taehyung. The hood has a way of making him look dangerous and hot one minute, and cute and dorky the next. So Jungkook keeps sneaking glances as Taehyung starts to rearrange the shelves.

“Hey, Kookie, should I go by level of hotness, price, colour, flavour, alphabetical order, or logo attractiveness?”

Jungkook stares at his textbook. “…What?”

“Hotness - as in spiciness, I’m not that weird - price, colour, flavour, alphabetical order, or logo attractiveness?”

Jungkook looks up. Taehyung is standing a few steps back from the shelves, arms crossed over his chest as he eyes the ramen up. “Logo attractiveness?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says. He reaches forward to take a packet from the shelf and examines it. “Y’know. How good the logo looks. Some of them are real shit.”

Jungkook rubs the back of his neck. He doesn’t understand this boy at the best of times. “Hyung - “

Taehyung crouches to examine the bottom shelves. “Then there’s cup ramen, packet ramen, and the cup ramen that comes in the boxes of six. Like, how do we do this, Kook?”

“Hyung - “

Taehyung stands abruptly. “Maybe we should - “ His voice cuts out like it did at the party and Jungkook’s heart is suddenly in his throat. Taehyung’s fingers curl tightly on the highest shelf and Jungkook swears he sees him sway.

“Hyung…” Jungkook says softly. He pushes his textbook aside and slides off the counter. “Taehyung.”

Taehyung hums and massages the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, Jungkookie?” His voice is a rasp.

Jungkook can still feel phantom fingers clinging to his upper arms for balance, tight and panicked. He’s been feeling them for days upon days now. “Taehyung-hyung…” He twists his fingers nervously then drags them through his hair. “Hyung…”

Taehyung laughs and rubs over his eyes. His fingers are still tight around the topmost shelf. “Yah, use your words, Jeon Jungkook.”

Jungkook licks his lips and pushes his shoulders back. “You’re really sick, aren’t you?”

“Oh…” Taehyung carefully crouches again and begins to shuffle the boxed ramen sets around. Jungkook can see his hands shaking. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

“You’re always something to worry about.” It’s half-jest, half-honesty. Jungkook steps around the front counter and crouches beside Taehyung. “Can you tell me about it? Jimin said - “ Jungkook closes his mouth then tries again. “I want to help, hyung. Please. When you fell off the couch at Namjoon’s that time, and when you almost collapsed at the party the other week, and just now, and then the fever - the fevers - and the being out from class for a week, and - “

Taehyung gently punches Jungkook’s shoulder. “Jeon Jungkook, stop running your mouth.” He traces the letters on the ramen packet in front of him. “I’m fine.” He’s smiling softly to himself and his bangs are falling over his eyes and his hoodie is two sizes too big and for some reason Jungkook’s chest is fucking aching like Taehyung’s slipped his hands between his ribs and got his fingers around Jungkook’s heart and is fucking squeezing.

“Hyung - “

“Yah, Jungkookie.” Taehyung gently punches Jungkook’s thigh this time. “I’m doing better.” He bows his head and when he looks at Jungkook out of the corner of his eye, his smile is still soft and his eyes - his eyes -

Jungkook isn’t drunk this time so he must just be really tired because Taehyung’s eyes are blue.

“I’m doing better,” he says again. Taehyung looks away and traces the letters on the ramen packet once more. His next words fall softly. “With you I’m doing better.”

Jungkook doesn’t know how to laugh quietly and ruffle Taehyung’s hair like Taehyung did to him in the cafe - honestly, he’s too floored by the quiet admission (and too busy demanding his blood vessels to fucking behave and not glow bright red on his cheeks). So the words hang in the air between them, drifting away like clouds carried by the breeze. Jungkook wants to catch them in his hands so he can examine them more closely.

Taehyung starts pulling ramen from the shelf. Jungkook reaches out and mindlessly begins to help.

“Hey, Jungkookie,” Taehyung says. “What are you doing after this?”

Jungkook is staring at the growing pile of ramen on the floor. Taehyung seems to be aligning them in some sort of order but he can’t figure out what. Hesitantly, he slides two packets apart to slide his between them. When Taehyung beams at him, he releases a quiet breath. “Um, nothing. I wanna say going back to the dorm and studying but realistically - “

“Great,” Taehyung says, clapping two packets of ramen together. “I’m doing a movie marathon with Seokjin and Namjoon tonight. You should come so I feel less awkward and so we can puke together when they start making out.”

Jungkook snorts. “What,” he teases, “like a double date?”

Taehyung smiles softly to himself and traces the letters on the ramen packets again and Jungkook’s brain thinks ‘oh’.

Taehyung and Jungkook, Seokjin learns that night, are a dangerous duo. He watches from the other couch as they laugh and snicker together, sitting with arms and thighs pressed together as they flick through something on Taehyung’s phone. They’ve used just about every trick in the book tonight to get their way - and really, he’s not surprised. Taehyung is Taehyung and Jungkook had long ago learned how to manipulate his position as the group’s maknae.

Seokjin sighs and rests his head on Namjoon’s shoulder. The microwave is humming in the background and they’re just waiting for the popcorn to finish so they can start their third movie of the night. Namjoon’s arm is draped over Seokjin’s shoulders and his fingers draw patterns on his bare arm.

There’s a loud burst of laughter from Jungkook, who has his head tilted back and can’t stop slapping Taehyung’s thigh. Taehyung’s boxy grin is wide as words tumble from his mouth and Seokjin wiggles lower in his seat, grinning. Taehyung’s skin is tanned and healthy, there’s no bags under his eyes, and tiredness doesn’t sharpen the lines of his face.

He tilts his head and studies the pair some more. Taehyung has always been clingy and touchy, but there’s more in this. He can’t seem to physically not have a hold on Jungkook, his fingers constantly drifting from place to place and tightening and poking in his excitement. Jungkook clearly doesn’t mind, because when he can, he twists his wrist in Taehyung’s grip to lightly drag his fingers over the back of Taehyung’s hand. Seokjin watches this a few times and slowly starts to smile.

“Jungkook is good for him,” Namjoon says, nosing at Seokjin’s hair as he murmurs the words.

Seokjin nods. “In more ways than one.”

Seokjin and Namjoon bail out 30 minutes into the fourth movie, when Namjoon falls sideways in his sleep and sends them both crashing to the ground. Jungkook and Taehyung wave them off, eyes barely leaving the screen. But now, without the buffer of Namjoon and Seokjin, Jungkook is suddenly keenly aware of how close Taehyung is.

He fights against the tension in his arms and his thighs and his spine. Everywhere they’re pressed up against each other tingles almost painfully, yet Taehyung presses up against him more and more and more and Jungkook lets him - lets him until they’re rearranging and laying down on the couch. Taehyung wriggles back to press up against Jungkook’s chest and Jungkook wriggles back until he’s comfy against the back of the couch. His arm finds the curve of Taehyung’s waist easily and he cushions his head in his other hand and they watch the movie like that for a while.

(Though if Jungkook is honest, it’s a very long and short while and the passing of time is fucked up all together and fuck he’s struggling because why is Taehyung so warm and why is it suddenly so hard to act nonchalant and oh that’s why - it’s because Kim fucking Taehyung has rolled onto his back and is gazing up at him with eyes that reflect tea parties and forests.)

Taehyung slides his elbows beneath himself and sits up, forcing Jungkook to do the same. They watch each other, observing each other in the low lighting. The movie carries on in the background and Jungkook’s hands begin to slip and slide on the couch as the moment narrows in sharply on them.

They’re still sitting so, so close. Taehyung is practically in his lap, and their legs are tangled. Taehyung tilts his head slowly then smiles and drops his gaze. It swings left, across the carpet and to the movie and - Jungkook can’t take it anymore so he takes Taehyung’s chin in his fingers and steals his gaze back again and slots their mouths together.

Taehyung hums quietly, fingers dancing over Jungkook’s thighs then up and up and up until they’re clenching in the collar of Jungkook’s shirt. Jungkook kisses Taehyung slowly, lazily. He gets comfortable, maps out the older boy’s mouth. There’s no alcohol and no rush this time. No music blaring through the room, no adrenaline sizzling in his veins. Just a quiet comfort and - familiarity.

Before Jungkook can linger on that thought longer, Taehyung is pulling on Jungkook’s collar and Jungkook shifts to his knees so that he can lower them to lay on the couch. Once done, he kisses over Taehyung’s jaw and slides a knee between the older boy’s thighs, pressing up against his groin. Taehyung breathes out sharply into Jungkook’s mouth and his nails leave crescents in the back of Jungkook’s neck.

Jungkook winces and Taehyung hushes apologies against his lips. Jungkook laughs and pries Taehyung’s mouth open, assuring him it’s fine with long, gentle swipes of his tongue.

Eventually he leans back and pulls his shirt up over his head. Taehyung watches him through messy bangs. His lips are wet and swollen and his chest is heaving a little, but it’s the haziness of his gaze that gets Jungkook, has him swooping back in again for another kiss. He tugs Taehyung’s shirt up under his arms and presses kisses to his chest. He grazes his teeth over his ribs and his hip bones. Taehyung exhales quietly and drags him up for another kiss and Jungkook rocks his hips down.

“Fuck,” Taehyung breathes. He drops his mouth to Jungkook’s collarbones and mouths along them. “Fuck…”

Jungkook noses over his hairline and breathes him in. He braces his weight on his left hand and goes exploring with his right. He teases over Taehyung’s skin and tickles over his hip bones, before he slides his hand into Taehyung’s sweats.

He catches Taehyung’s rush of breath in his mouth and swallows it down.

“Fuck,” Taehyung says again, pressing his head into the couch.

Jungkook grins. “Yeah?”

Taehyung laughs breathily and throws an arm over his eyes. He nods. “Yeah.”

Jungkook grins wider and kisses Taehyung again and again and again.

Kissing Taehyung is addictive. Even when they do eventually finish the movie and make it to bed (“Considering you just had your hand down my pants, Jeon Jungkook, I trust you’re not gonna get all weird about sharing the one bed, yeah?” “Jesus, hyung.” “Kookie, are you blushing?” “Stop laughing.” “You literally just had your hand down my pants, Kookie and - “ “Hyung, just - just shut up.”) Jungkook finds himself rolling over to hover above Taehyung so he can kiss him again.

The room is warm. The ceiling fan ticks away and stirs the air. The windows are open but there’s no breeze tonight. The sheets are cool on Jungkook’s bare skin but Taehyung is so unbearably warm he already feels his skin growing clammy.

“Do you always run like a furnace?” he asks between long, slow kisses. He takes Taehyung’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucks on it. Taehyung hums sleepily. Jungkook runs his hands up and down Taehyung’s sides. Jungkook can sense him dropping off into sleep. “Sleepy, hyung?”

Taehyung hums again and smiles. He looks blissed out. “Your skin is nice and cool.”

Jungkook frowns. “Hey, are you running a fever?” He rolls onto his side to lay beside Taehyung and noses at his temple. “Hyung?”

Taehyung blinks his eyes open. He also twists onto his side and they lay facing each other. The moonlight strikes the rise of Taehyung’s cheek and ripples on the surface of an endless lake reflected in his eyes. “For once, nope.” He smiles and finds Jungkook’s fingers under the sheets. His voice falls softly, even in the quiet of the room. “Told you: I’m better with you.”

Jungkook watches the ripples in Taehyung’s eyes settle. The moon reflects of the lake’s smooth surface, but Jungkook has the distant thought that it’s the moon from another world, that Taehyung’s eyes are windows into a land of magic - but then Taehyung blinks and it’s gone.

“Tae…”

Taehyung’s eyes have closed again and he’s nuzzling his cheek into the pillow. Jungkook has learned that there are very distinct sides of Taehyung. He kinda thinks he maybe really likes them all - Stupid Tae, Weird Tae, Childish Tae, Childlike Tae, Drunk Tae, Dangerous Tae.

“Yeah, Kookie?”

The question from the store is back on his lips. “You’re really sick, aren’t you?”

Taehyung just laughs and wriggles closer.

Chapter Text

Making out becomes habit, regardless of the where or when. Taehyung will steal him for quick kisses when they meet up at the pond and again before they enter the cafe, and Jungkook will slide his fingers into his hair and kiss Taehyung slowly when there’s no customers in the store. And they’ll both gravitate towards each other at social gatherings - especially at parties, where drugs, music and alcohol are present. Especially then.

Most study sessions have finished up in Taehyung’s bed - whether it be to simply lay there and stare at the ceiling whilst they chat, or to snuggle and watch movies, or to make out and - Jungkook has lost a good two pairs of underwear, a shirt, and three socks under Taehyung’s bed.

Each time, they both hang their heads over the edge of the bed and stare into the abyss underneath.

“There’s no return from there,” Taehyung likes to whisper, looking at Jungkook with wide eyes (eyes that still reflect tea parties and endless lakes and turn blue and yellow). “Say your goodbyes.”

Sometimes Jungkook will shove him. Sometimes he’ll give in and play along, pretend to woefully say a prayer and eulogy.

Jungkook lays on Taehyung’s bed now, staring up at the ceiling. A movie plays in the background and Taehyung slumbers beside him, body like a furnace as always. This time though, Jungkook is sure it’s a fever - even if Taehyung’s health has been remarkably improving (honestly, Jungkook doesn’t know that much about the guy’s health, but everyone else can’t stop commenting on it so - ).

He turns his head to look at Taehyung. There’s no moon tonight but his eyes have adjusted. Everything is varying shades of black, white and grey - with the occasional bright stroke of blue from the computer. He frowns and brushes his fingers through Taehyung’s hair. He’s sure the shade of dark grey doesn’t look right.

He finds himself running his fingers through Taehyung’s hair again and again. When Taehyung twitches in his sleep, Jungkook scratches his nails lightly over the older boy’s scalp to soothe him.

Jungkook has to wonder when he became so enraptured by the strange boy with the blue tinted hair and depthless eyes who blew smoke rings at him over the counter.

And Jungkook has to wonder when he became so attached.

Jungkook is shaking and shivering when he finally emerges from the gardens. His clothes are torn and his skin is littered with scratches. Behind him, the flowers cackle after him, voices reaching godawful pitches that make Jungkook’s ears hurt. Shakily, he runs his hands through his hair (and pulls free a couple of leaves) and over his clothes. He sucks at a scratch on the back of his knuckles that’s bleeding everywhere and starts forward, one staggering step at a time.

He walks for what feels like hours, but at least the world isn’t trying to imitate the inside of a washing machine for once. Jungkook rubs his hands over his eyes, wondering what he’ll stumble upon next. He almost wishes the world was tossing and turning, because then he’d have a better chance of waking up and being fucking done with it -

He regrets even thinking the thought. He regrets thinking of thinking such a thought.

The world does a 180 and Jungook yells out as he falls right off the surface of the earth and plunges into the clouds. He comes out the other side and below him is a three-storey house and a immaculate front yard and a white picket fence. Jungkook crashes right through the roof of the house, into some kind of attic. He groans and curls up on the timber floor, eyes scrunched closed as he does a quick check for injuries.

Something pops. Then cracks. Then Jungkook is growing, growing, growing. His eyes snap open and go wide. He keeps growing, growing, growing. Soon his head is bursting back through the roof and his arms are smashing through the windows. He can hear screaming from the front yard but it’s behind him and he can’t turn his head enough to see.

He actually kind of wants to cry because why why why can’t he just have normal dreams.

He stops growing and breathes a sigh of relief.

Then suddenly, he shrinks. It’s a much faster process - too fast - and the house starts collapsing around him. When Jungkook finishes shrinking, he’s the height of a small dog, legs too small to cross the room in time to jump out the window before -

The roof comes crashing down around him.

Jungkook screams. His notebook and pen clutter to the ground and the lecturer comes to an abrupt halt. All eyes swing in Jungkook’s direction but he’s too terrified, too shaky, to care. He shoves the small writing desk out of the way, grabs his things, and heads for the nearest exit out of the lecture hall, then the building, then the campus.

He runs into Hoseok on his way.

“Kookie?” Hoseok’s brow is furrowed and he reaches out slowly, stepping away from the group he’s with.

Jungkook’s chest is still heaving and his eyes are still wide. He stares at Hoseok, breathing hard. “H-hyung.”

Hoseok takes his upper arm and gives him a concerned once over. “Hey, are you ok? Are you unwell?”

Jungkook stares at Hoseok’s hand on his arm. “Hyung. Hoseok-hyung. I - “ He cuts off and his shoulders sag. The adrenaline is wearing off and now he’s just tired and frightened. “I don’t know,” he says, voice small.

Hoseok’s brow furrows even more and he loops his arm around Jungkook’s shoulders. “It’s ok, Jungkookie. C’mon. Let’s go get a bite to eat, hey?”

Jungkook nods and Hoseok starts leading them in the direction of the cafe. Jungkook still doesn’t know the name of the joint. Just that it’s Hoseok’s favourite place. “Thanks, hyung.”

Hoseok smiles at him, warm and sunny and friendly like always. “No problem, kiddo. Hey, you know what? It’s Friday and we could all use a break. Let’s text the others and see if everyone is keen to go out for barbecue tonight. How does that sound?”

Jungkook starts to smile. He lowers his gaze and scuffs his feet a bit. “Can we get samgyeopsal?”

Hoseok laughs and hugs Jungkook close. “Jeon Jungkook, what kind of a question even is that?”

They meet at 8. There’s a restaurant and bar district not too far from the campus, and being a Friday night, the place is crammed with students. Seokjin - being the responsible, organised mother hen that he is - had called ahead to book a table for them.

Jungkook reaches across the table to take the tongs from said mother hen and takes over turning the meat. He grabs a heap of the cooked pieces and dumps them on Seokjin’s plate, much like the other has been doing to everyone else for the past 15 minutes. Seokjin opens his mouth to protest but Namjoon nudges him in the side and tells him to eat.

Beside Jungkook, Hoseok is slapping the table, laugh loud and white teeth bright as they flash. Jimin has his face buried in his hands and Jungkook swears Yoongi, who is swearing just as loudly as Hoseok is laughing (and threatening violent gruesome gory deaths for just about anyone and everyone) is going red at the -

Huh.

Jungkook smirks. Fuck yes he was jumping in on this. He still hasn’t given Jimin hell for being walked in on by Namjoon and Seokjin. Now he’ll get four hyungs with one bullet. He opens his mouth to comment - Taehyung’s fingers are around his wrist again.

It immediately drags Jungkook’s attention to the other boy. Taehyung is leaning right across the table, grinning at Jungkook. Jungkook almost drops the tongs when he sees a spiralling maze from above reflected in Taehyung’s eyes. He frowns and tries to look closer but - but as always, Taehyung blinks and it’s gone.

“Let’s get somaek.”

Jungkook trails his eyes down the length of the table. They already have soju. And beer. Thus they already have somaek. He voices this to Taehyung. This time when he meets Taehyung’s gaze, his irises are ringed with blue.

“Soju is empty and beer is almost out,” Taehyung says, and the words roll over his tongue so smoothly that Jungkook feels something in him stirring and reacting. He always has liked this Taehyung - the confident, dangerous Taehyung he met at the party that time. Taehyung releases Jungkook’s wrist to cushion his chin in his hand. He raises a slow brow. “Criminal, really.”

Jungkook is calling for the waiter before he realises. Taehyung leans back and laughs, then leans forward again to take the tongs from Jungkook.

“Eat, Jungkookie,” he says. He chances a look up at Jungkook through his lashes and smiles. “Hoseok said you were rattled earlier today. So eat, and get your strength back.”

That something that had been stirring in Jungkook turns warm and spreads right down to the edges of his fingertips. He really likes this Taehyung too. Soft, sweet Taehyung who smiles in rectangles and crescents.

“You guys keen to head out afterwards?” Namjoon asks. “Hit up a bar or two first, then go from there?”

“Yeah, we’re keen,” Yoongi says, pinching a piece of meat from Jimin’s plate and getting a punch to the arm for it.

“Hoseok?”

“Hell yeah, I’m in.”

“Jungkook? Yah, Jungkook. Juuunngggkooookkkk.”

Jungkook is still staring at Taehyung, who gazes back calmly. Taehyung starts to smile and he tilts his head in Namjoon’s direction, telling Jungkook to pay attention. Jungkook is more fascinated by the reflections he sees in Taehyung’s eyes but he manages to look away.

“Uh, sorry, hyung. What?”

Namjoon is leaned back in his seat, arm thrown over Seokjin’s shoulders. He raises a brow. “You good?”

“Tired,” he says, word slipping free without thought. Doesn’t matter because it’s the goddamn truth. He’s so fucking exhausted he can feel it right down to his bones.

Taehyung’s knees nudge his under the table, stealing his attention again. Taehyung’s eyes aren’t showing reflections and aren’t ringed by blue. They’re soft and sympathetic, and Taehyung offers him a small smile.

“So you’re not up for going out?”

Jungkook makes to turn his gaze back to Namjoon, but Taehyung inclines his head and quirks the left side of his mouth and raises his brow. Jungkook smirks.

“Nah, I’m in, hyung.”  He reaches for the new beers and the bottle opener. “Bottoms up, boys.”

The urge to touch Taehyung - in any way possible - gets worse and worse the more Jungkook drinks. It alway has. The need for some sort of physical contact has him tense and hyper vigilant for any opportunity. And if Taehyung’s ever aware of it, he responds to it in two ways: he’s even clingier than he normally is, or he’s a great fucking tease.

Jungkook rolls an ice cube around his mouth, meeting Taehyung’s gaze through the crowd and across the room. Taehyung has a little smirk on his face as he dances with Hoseok, lapping up the attention and the energy of the room like he always does. Lights dance over his face but they can’t do anything about the depthless darkness of his eyes. Hoseok says something to him and Taehyung laughs, running his hands through his hair and pushing it back from his forehead.

Jungkook is out of seat before he realises he’s even downed the rest of his drink and moved.

Taehyung spots him coming and smiles coyly, weaving backwards through the crowd to put more distance between them. Jungkook stalks him, gaze cutting sharply through and around the people in the way of his target. Taehyung flits in and out of view, daring Jungkook to catch him. There’s the occasional flash of white teeth as Taehyung laughs, enjoying the hunt.

Jungkook shoves between a group of girls and catches Taehyung. He slides one hand around his lower back and the other into his hair and slots their mouths together. He uses Taehyung’s wide, knowing grin to slide his tongue past the barrier of his teeth, coaxing Taehyung’s tongue to retaliate.

With a pull on Taehyung’s hair, Jungkook ends the kiss and presses their foreheads together. “You’re a tease.”

Taehyung is grinning. His fingers are in Jungkook’s belt loops and he guides his hips into swaying with the beat. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Taehyung laughs and pulls on Jungkook’s belt loops, forcing him to follow him back to where Hoseok is still happily dancing away. “Dance with me,” Taehyung says, head inclined. He tugs Jungkook closer.

“Yoongi-hyung just ordered me another drink.”

“Ah,” Taehyung says knowingly. His eyes are closed and he’s swaying to the beat. The lights are purple but his hair throws red. “A free drink from Yoongi-hyung? That is a rarity.”

Jungkook hums, observing Taehyung.

“Go,” Taehyung says, pushing him back. He grabs for Hoseok instead. “Catch you later, Golden Maknae.”

“How’d you hear about that?”

Taehyung laughs and begins to pull Hoseok deeper into the crowd. Jungkook barely catches his reply over the music. “I live with Seokjin-hyung, remember?”

It is Taehyung who, unintentionally, finds Jungkook later.

Jungkook stands from the booth, does a quick check to see that the others don’t want another drink, and heads for the bar. He weaves between the crowd on the dance floor, knowing Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung are lost in there somewhere. A girl stumbles back into him and she whirls around, eyes wide as she spills apologies. Jungkook smiles and laughs, assures her it’s fine, and moves around her.

When a hand latches onto his forearm, he assumes it’s the girl again. The response is already on his tongue when he turns around, but the words die on his lips and he steps in closer, brow creasing with concern.

“Tae? Hey, you good?”

Taehyung stares back at him from under his bangs. He’s swaying slightly but it’s the way his fingers dig into Jungkook’s arm that alarms him. Panic, panic, panic. Taehyung tightens his grip, knuckles turning white, and Jungkook takes another step forward, preparing to take the other’s weight.

“…Jeon Jungkook…”

Jungkook’s eyes flit over Taehyung’s face and then dive into the crowd. “Yeah, hyung.” He searches for one of the others. Jimin is less than a metre away, looking like he’s headed for the bathroom. Jungkook lunges forward, arm darting between a group of guys so that he can pull on Jimin’s shirt.

Jimin turns around, expression set and tongue already giving a lashing. He blinks. “Jungkook?”

“Hyung.” He tugs on Jimin’s shirt and drags him over. “Tae’s - “

Jimin’s gaze immediately goes to Taehyung. He cups Taehyung’s neck and inclines his head to catch his eye. “Hey, Tae, you right?”

Taehyung’s grip on Jungkook’s arm is so tight it hurts.

“Find Seokjin-hyung,” Jimin says, winding an arm around Taehyung’s waist to take some of his weight. “Tell the others we’re all headed home. Hey, Tae? Home time, yeah?”

But when Jungkook tries to leave, Taehyung literally digs his claws in. Jungkook hisses and tries to pry Taehyung’s fingers from his arm but panic is lending Taehyung strength. “Hyung, I’ll be right back.”

“Tae, let him go. I got you. He’s just gonna- whoa whoa whoa ok ok it’s ok.” Jimin jams their hips together and tries to keep Taehyung upright when his knees try to buckle.

Jungkook finds his free hand clenched in the shoulder of Taehyung’s shirt, pulling him up. He presses up against Taehyung to try help Jimin out, then goes fishing for his phone. “Fuck it, I’ll just text him.”

Jimin speaks to Taehyung. “Tae, you need to try stand straight. The bouncer is headed over. Yah, don’t - oi, don’t let that bitch out to play. No one’s ready to deal with that shit.”

Jungkook pulls a face and looks over at the pair. Taehyung’s eyes meet his and Jungkook’s shoulders hunch up by his ears. He almost steps back. Taehyung’s eyes are the darkest he’s ever seen them, like liquid ink.

Jimin notices and he jostles Taehyung. “Hey, quit that. Kook, you sent the fucking text or what?”

“Yeah almost, hang on, just - “

“Hey, kid, the fuck is taking so long?” Yoongi steps up beside him and throws his arm over his shoulders. “Would’ve gotten it myself if I knew you were just gonna fuck around.” He tilts his head and eyes them up lazily. When he focuses his line of sight on Taehyung, he frowns. “Looks like it’s home time.” He steps back and looks over his shoulder. He raises his hand and when he catches Namjoon’s attention, he waves. “Where’s Hoseok?”

“Dunno,” Jimin says. He slings Taehyung’s arm over his shoulders.

“Take him outside. We’ll find him then join you.” Yoongi drops his gaze to where Taehyung’s fingers are still tight around Jungkook’s forearm. His nails have drawn blood. “Guess you’re going with ‘em, Kook.”

Jungkook nods and manages to get under Taehyung’s other arm. Two of the bouncers have gathered and they’re eyeing them up from across the room, arms folded over their chest. Jungkook gives them a thin smile, lips pressed together, and then he and Jimin get Taehyung outside. Jungkook leads them, shouldering through the crowd. Taehyung’s knees try to give way twice. The moment Jungkook shoulders through the line waiting for entry, fresh air smacks them in the face and Taehyung goes down.

Jimin and Jungkook swear in unison, dipping awkwardly and wincing at the sudden pull.

“Fuck all right all right,” Jimin says, dragging Taehyung up again. “Let’s get over there.” He nods his head to the other side of the street. It’s a row of restaurants, all now closed for the night.

It’s an effort but they manage. They make sure Taehyung is somewhat steady on his feet before releasing him. He nods at them and their questions, dazed. Jimin looks worried and Jungkook feels fear curling in his gut. The fuck is going on? The others join them shortly after and Namjoon’s doing an obligatory check on them all when Taehyung’s hand grabs at Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook starts, trying to get an arm around Taehyung’s waist before he collapses. He fails and Taehyung crashes to his knees with a wince.

Seokjin crouches in front of him and steadies his head when it starts lolling. “Taehyungie, how bad?”

Taehyung’s lips start curling. “Seokjin-hyung.”

“Yeah, good job. How - “

Taehyung’s eyes swivel up to look at Jungkook. His eyes are still that eery black then they’re blue and then he’s laughing and singing Jungkook’s name and then they’re brown again and he just looks tired. “I’m better with you,” he says, voice falling softly as he slumps.

Jungkook looks over the rest of the group with wide eyes, hoping for some sort of answer. Taehyung’s head knocks against his thigh and rests there. Jungkook’s fingers find their way into his hair of their own accord.

“Let’s get him up and get him home,” Namjoon says.

His hands curl around Taehyung’s left arm and Jungkook quickly takes the right. They get Taehyung to his feet with some effort - keeping him upright proves to be the biggest challenge of all. Jungkook slings Taehyung’s arm over his shoulders and wraps his own arm around Taehyung’s waist.

“You got him?” Yoongi asks.

Taehyung is panting into the crook of his neck and Jungkook draws circles on his hip with his thumb, trying to soothe. “Yeah, I got him.”

Namjoon gives them both a look over then nods. They start on their way home as a group. Hoseok walks on the other side of Taehyung, sending Jungkook much appreciated small smiles of support. Whenever Taehyung threatens to collapse again, Hoseok is quick to step in and steady him, before pulling away again. There’s one instance where neither of them manage to keep him upright and he ends up on his ass.

Taehyung blinks up at Jungkook then tips his head back and laughs - laughs so hard and so loud it echoes off the buildings around him, that it brings the whole group to a standstill, that tears gather in his eyes and his face goes red and he clutches at his stomach.

Jungkook stares, then slowly, he smiles. Before he knows it, a low chuckle is building in his throat and escaping through his lips, and then he’s laughing nearly as hard as Taehyung - they all are. Jungkook shakes his head and crouches in front of Taehyung and takes his arms and tries to get him to his feet again.

Taehyung’s eyes meet his. They’re feverish and hazy and they don’t focus very well but they’re bright as bright can be and Jungkook doesn’t know just how sick Taehyung is or how sick he was but, yeah, he can believe he’s getting better.

And that’s all right by him.

They stop by Seokjin and Namjoon’s place first. Seokjin smiles tiredly as Jungkook and asks if he wants to stay the night. They both lower their gazes to where Taehyung’s panicked fingers are clinging on to Jungkook’s arm again and Jungkook knows he doesn’t have to answer.

Hoseok, Yoongi and Jimin wave them goodbye and continue to the campus. Jimin looks back at them over his shoulder, face creased with worry and lower lip caught between his teeth. Jungkook offers him a small smile. After a beat, it’s returned and Jimin turns away.

When they head inside, Namjoon turns on minimal lights - and manages to knock one of said lights over when he’s attempting to turn it on. Seokjin sends him a dry look then clicks his tongue and helps Jungkook get Taehyung to bed. Taehyung tumbles onto the mattress and Jungkook pulls his shoes off whilst Seokjin removes his jacket and talks to him too lowly for Jungkook to hear. He steals glances, trying to decipher what they might be talking about. Taehyung has rolled onto his side and is hiding his face in his arms. Seokjin looks tired and sad, and he rakes his fingers back through Taehyung’s hair. Sprinkles of lilac follow his fingers to the very tips of Taehyung’s hair then shimmer out of view.

“Do you need anything, Jungkookie?” Seokjin gives Taehyung’s hair an affectionate ruffle (lilac shimmers across the strands - Jungkook begins to count how many drinks he’s had) and stands.

Jungkook looks down at where he is still holding one of Taehyung’s shoes in each hand. He sets them down and begins to toe off his own shoes. “Nah, I’m good.” He doesn’t lift his head and shrugs out of his jacket. “Thanks, hyung,” he adds quietly.

Seokjin nods and makes to leave. He stands in the doorway and looks over his shoulder. “Shout out if you need anything.”

Jungkook doesn’t reply and Seokjin leaves - but only gets so far before Jungkook is running into the hallway and calling after him. “How sick is he?”

Namjoon is coming out of the bathroom, toothbrush in mouth, and he and Seokjin both stare at him.

Jungkook clears his throat and asks again, quieter. “Taehyung-hyung… how sick is he?”

“Um…” Seokjin exchanges glances with Namjoon. “It’s… complicated.”

Namjoon takes his toothbrush from his mouth and throws his arm around Seokjin’s shoulders. Seokjin flails when Namjoon’s toothbrush comes too close to his face. “He’s been bad for a while but he is getting better, slowly.”

“Is he seeing someone about it?”

Namjoon’s eyes slowly slide to Seokjin and his mouth goes slack. “Uh…”

Seokjin tilts his head and smiles. “It’s late, Kookie. Head to bed. We can talk in the morning.”

“But - “

Namjoon turns them and leads Seokjin into the bathroom. “Night, Kook!”

Jungkook sighs through his nose and turns on his heel. When he steps back into Taehyung’s room again, Taehyung is lying on his side, waiting. Jungkook shimmies out of his shirt and jeans and climbs under the covers with him.

“Hey,” he whispers, pressing his forehead to Taehyung’s. “How you feeling?”

Taehyung smiles slowly. It’s too wide and full of teeth and nothing like his usual grin. “Jungkookie,” he sings, eyes big and round and kinda cat-like if Jungkook is honest.

Jungkook squirms and tries to cover it up by making it look like he’s getting comfortable. “You’re weird, hyung,” he says, not meeting Taehyung’s gaze as he adjusts the covers over the both of them and settles down for sleep.

Taehyung laughs quietly and noses at Jungkook’s cheek and jaw. “We’re all weird here,” he breathes, then he sighs quietly and when Jungkook looks, it is sleepy brown-eyed Taehyung with fever-flushed cheeks who gazes back. “Go to sleep, Kookie.”

“Do you need anything? I can - “

Taehyung’s head rolls on the pillow and he exhales. “Sleep, Jeon Jungkook. Sleep and dream.”

Jungkook is lost. Hopelessly, hopelessly lost. He stops where he is and catches his tongue between his teeth and worries at it until it hurts - so he worries at his lower lip instead. His fingers are twisting in his shirt and he can’t stay still on his feet.

He just wants a way out.

Green leafy walls encompass him on all sides, reaching for the sky. His palms are badly torn from when he’d lost all patience and just tried scaling the damn walls. Turns out they’re rose bushes, with big sharp thorns. Jungkook stares down at his palms, trying to think. He knows the rule. Left hand on the wall and keep going. That’s supposed to be how you get out of a maze.

A normal maze, anyway.

Jungkook sighs and starts walking again. He walks, and walks, and walks, taking corner after corner after corner until he’s dizzy and - he hurries back, stumbling over his own feet in his rush to turn around and run back around the corner. He’s going insane. He must be insane. He tilts his head, eyes wide, and gives himself a mental check over.

Insane.

Definitely insane.

He frowns and shakes his head.

Nope. Nope pretty sure -

No, he saw right. He’s sure -

He huffs out a breath.

This is stupid.

He looks again.

Further up ahead are two soldiers on patrol. Whenever they turn, there’s a brief moment where, if not for their limbs and head and spears, Jungkook would be unable to see them, because they’re only millimetres thin and they’re fucking playing cards. They march back and forth, back and forth, spears held over their left shoulder. Their chins are held high, expressions stern. It’s a three of hearts, and a six of -

They turn again before Jungkook can see. He squints and dares to step closer, trying to make it out. A six of -

They spot him. They come to a halt, staring him down with inky expressionless eyes. They click their heels together and stand at attention and Jungkook’s chest grows tight. The six of spades - it’s spades it’s spades - takes his spear in his right hand, arches his back, and launches it in Jungkook’s direction.

Jungkook bolts for it.

The spear hits the ground behind him but he doesn’t stop to look. There’s some shouting and then the alarm is sounded and Jungkook runs faster, faster, faster, around corner after corner after corner until he’s even more lost than - fuck, fuck, fuck. He skids to a halt, eyes wide, then takes the nearest exit, sprinting away from the three cards running at him.

Fear gives him speed but it doesn’t give him direction and - he cracks a right with a cry. A spear vanishes into the walls. Jungkook keeps running then realises he’s trapped himself in a long corridor, with no corner or archway into another corridor in sight. There’s noise behind him and he looks over his shoulder to see six cards coming after him. Shouting in front of him catches his attention next. There’s four of them.

Jungkook skids to a halt, looking between the two groups, then up. He’ll have to climb. There’s no -

A spear lodges in the ground by his left foot - a warning, a threat - and he presses himself up against the wall An arm appears through the bushes and long tanned fingers wrap around Jungkook’s forearm and Jungkook cries out, tries to free himself. There’s another spear in the ground, then another, and another, and the cards are so close so close. Jungkook tugs at the fingers holding on - let go let go let go - but they’re impossibly strong and then there’s quiet laughter and Jungkook looks into the bushes with wide eyes and finds another pair staring back.

Some of Jungkook’s fear leaves him because those eyes -

The fingers tug. “Come,” the person says, pulling him into the wall. The thorns don’t scrape and tear at his skin this time as he’s dragged into the shadows. Sporadic shards of light dance over the man’s face. His fingers give another insistent tug. “Follow.”

The man drags Jungkook through the other side of the wall and then they’re running, disappearing in and out of thorned rose bushes until they’re tumbling down a big hill.

When they come to a stop at the bottom, Jungkook scrambles to all fours, panting hard. He looks back up the hill. The maze is impossibly huge. He’d have been lost forever, he’s sure. Or dead in the next five minutes.

Laughter startles him and he looks to the man laying beside him. His hair is red and his eyes are blue and his pupils are blown too wide and his laughter is a little deranged but it’s unmistakably Taehyung.

“Tae,” Jungkook says, relaxing onto his knees.

Taehyung shoots a grin at him then rolls onto his stomach and rests his chin in his hands and gazes up at the maze. “She always does get angry when I pull that trick. Not my fault I’m better friends with the roses than she is.”

“What?”

“Maybe if she didn’t have her guards going round painting them red all the damned time - “Taehyung cuts off and gets to his feet. He dusts down his clothes - a light blue suit and brown leather shoes and a pink dress shirt and a red flower in place of a bowtie - and starts walking. “Oh well. Tea?”

Jungkook scurries after him. “Taehyung, what - “

“Why am I even asking?” Taehyung says, leading them across the large open field. The grass brushes at their knees and the sun beats down on them. “It’s always a good time for tea. Perhaps I was asking if you like tea. Do you like tea?”

Jungkook closes his eyes briefly, head reeling. “What?”

“Never mind, it’s another stupid question. Everyone likes tea. Maybe I was asking if it was tea time. Was I asking if it was tea time?”

Jungkook grabs his arm to try stop him but it’s useless. “Taehyung - wait - hey - “

Taehyung folds his hands behind his back and starts to skip at bit. He glances at Jungkook out of the corner of his eye and smiles. “Taehyung. Everyone calls me that lately. Is that who you all see?”

Jungkook’s head fucking hurts this is fucking shit these dreams are fucked just fucking - “What?”

“Is that who you see?” Taehyung repeats calmly.

“Yes, it’s who I fucking see. It’s who you fucking are.”

Taehyung nods to himself. “Makes sense, I suppose.”

“What do you mean ‘makes sense’? You’re Kim Taehyung for - “

“Oops, careful.”

Jungkook’s eyes go wide and he barely stops himself from toppling over a chair - which has quite literally appeared out of nowhere - hands grasping at it desperately for balance. He and it wobble for a bit and his arms go tense as he braces himself against the piece of furniture but then he’s steady again and he’s staring. A long, long white table stretches out in front of him, with room enough for at least thirty guests. Many of the chairs are taken by all sorts of animals - talking animals in clothing, who sip from tea cups and eat dainty finger sandwiches and cupcakes as they chat the afternoon away.

Jungkook backs up a few steps, eyes wide.

Taehyung smiles at him as he walks past. He slides into a chair between a brown rabbit and purple dormouse (who looks about ready to fall asleep in his cup) and gestures for Jungkook to take the one opposite. “Tea?”

Hesitantly, Jungkook walks over and takes a seat. To his right is a duck wearing a purple hat and blue bowtie, and to his left is a cat with a red dinner jacket. Jungkook swallows thickly and manages a croaky thank you as the duck pours him tea from a pot with three spouts and the cat hands him two cupcakes.

“There’s never a better time for tea than teatime,” Taehyung tells him. Jungkook looks over, watches as Taehyung takes a bite from a peach. The juice runs down his chin. His tongue flicks out to lick it up and Taehyung leans forward, propping his elbows on the table and resting his chin on the backs of his wrists, peach dangling from his fingers. “When’s your birthday?”

Jungkook blinks. “Um.”

“Your birthday,” Taehyung repeats, abandoning his peach for a cupcake. Icing smears over his upper lip and again his tongue makes an appearance. His eyes are unblinking as they stare at Jungkook, patiently waiting. The blue is hypnotising - this whole demeanour is hypnotising. “Is it today?”

“No,” Jungkook answers, dazed as he keeps eye contact with Taehyung. “Not today.”

Taehyung chuckles, low and quiet and Jungkook feels himself falling deeper. He exhales quietly and tension seeps from his shoulders. The duck guides Jungkook’s teacup up, insisting Jungkook take a sip. He does and it tastes - it tastes -

“Don’t be silly,” Taehyung says, practically purring the words. His chin is on the back of his wrists again and his head is tilted. He blinks as he observes Jungkook. “When is your birthday, Jeon Jungkook?”

Jungkook swallows thickly, teacup threatening to slip from his fingers. The duck guides it up again. “Um. My birthday. Not today.”

Taehyung hums, watching closely with eyes so blue and pupils so wide. He starts to whistle and it takes Jungkook a moment to recognise the tune as Happy Birthday.

The dormouse next to him stirs at the tune, starts singing drunkenly. He hiccups and almost falls asleep in his gigantic cup of tea. It prompts Jungkook to look at his own tea. It tastes - it tastes -

The duck guides it up again and Jungkook doesn’t realise he’s starting to tilt left until the cat props him up properly in his seat.

“Not my birthday,” Jungkook manages, blinking slowly, head dropping before he jerks it up again.

“Don’t be silly,” Taehyung repeats. A slow smirk curls his lips. “Happy every birthday.”

Jungkook shakes his head and the world goes swaying. “No, it’s not.”

“Happy unbirthday?” Taehyung asks and he’s leaning forward again, waiting for the answer.

This time Jungkook nods, eyes struggling to see straight. The teacup is at his lips again and he sips from it. “Happy unbirthday.”

“Happy unbirthday to you?”

“Happy unbirthday to me.”

Taehyung laughs. “I like you, Jeon Jungkook. You should stay for a while.”

The dormouse, who has taken to singing happy unbirthday, voices his agreement. “Stay, stay. Twinkle, twinkle, little Jungkookie, stay a while and play with me…” He trails off, head nodding side to side.

Something stirs in Jungkook’s stomach. The world isn’t quite sitting right and he can’t quite breathe right or see right and Taehyung’s eyes are so blue, pupils blown so wide, and something isn’t right something isn’t right - there’s a blur, so much blurring, but Taehyung - Taehyung - the teacup is at his lips again and he pushes it away. “N-no. I can’t. I have to -“

“Twinkle, twinkle, little Jungkookie,” Taehyung sings, cheek in hand as he watches the duck lift the teacup to Jungkook’s lips again. “Stay a while and play with me.”

“No - “

“Stay, Jungkook. I think you’ll like it here.”

Fear curls in Jungkook’s stomach. He tries to stand from the table but his limbs don’t cooperate. He starts to pant. “No.”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung sings.

“No.”

“Jungkook.” His voice is darker now, having lost all its lightness.

Jungkook pants, eyes darting wildly over the table. He finishes on the drunk dormouse - the drunk dormouse. The drunk dormouse…? Jungkook looks down at his tea and then throws it aside. The duck squawks in indignation.

Taehyung is darkly furious. He looms over the table. “Jeon Jungkook.”

“I have to leave,” Jungkook manages.

“You will stay.”

“N-no - I - no - “

Suddenly the thick forest that encircled the field is pressed in tight against the table, casting shade over the gathering. Taehyung is too close, too close, with red hair and blue eyes and pupils blown too wide and he laughs and it’s not right, not right and - “stay, Jungkook. Where do you have to run to? It’s teatime.”

Jungkook wants to sob. He can’t feel his limbs and he starts to slump over the table. “Please…”

Taehyung laughs and rocks back in his chair. He kicks his legs up on the table, folds his arms behind his head, and starts whistling Happy Birthday.

Whimpering, Jungkook stares at him from where he’s laying with his cheek pressed to the table cloth. The trees loom closer and Jungkook sucks in air, concentrating on getting his body to cooperate. Something in the branches gets his attention. Teeth. Teeth in a wide, impossibly wide, smile. They fade in and out of view. Jungkook starts hyperventilating. The world starts to sway.

Taehyung whistles long and loud, then laughs again and reaches for a teapot. The world is twisting left and right and left and right and Taehyung’s laugh echoes on and on and on, needles deep inside Jungkook’s brain. He holds the pot out to Jungkook. “More tea, Jungkook?”

Jungkook is thrown violently from the dream and he wakes with a loud intake of air, back arching from the bed. He panics and rolls right, away from Taehyung - Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung with red hair and blue eyes and pupils blown too wide - and ends up rolling right off the edge of the bed. He staggers to his feet. The room is pitching left and right, just like that cursed world.

He hears Taehyung stir. His voice is thick with sleep. “Jungkook…? Everything ok?”

Jungkook finds himself on his knees again. He can’t get his eyes to focus and his chest hurts and his breathing is ragged and his stomach is rolling all over the place.

“Jungkook?” There’s urgency in Taehyung’s voice now. “Hey, hey, Kookie. Shh, Kookie.”

But the second Taehyung’s hand brushes over his shoulder, Jungkook’s eyes threaten to roll back into his head and he almost pitches forward, but fear and panic keep him steady, get him back on his feet, and though he slams violently into the doorframe, he makes it out of the bedroom, into the living room, out the front door, onto the street…

His head is pounding. The world keeps swaying - he keeps swaying. He groans quietly, staggering forward. Fear licks at his ribs. Was he drugged last night?

He manages to get across campus - doesn’t realise he’s made it into a run until he notes the way his bare feet sting. The world is jumping all over the place and he loses his footing as he’s running down the small hill to the pond. He tumbles down the hill and the deja vu scares him. The grass is wet and dewy and gives him a brief moment of clarity - enough to get up and running again.

Jungkook bursts through the doors to the dorm. The few students who are awake freakishly early look at him warily. One guy actually looks like he may try offering his help, but Jungkook’s started up the stairs by then.

His entrance into his and Yoongi’s shared room is even louder - and a lot less grateful. He wakes Jimin and Yoongi, and Yoongi’s voice cracks through the static in his head.

“Fucking Christ. Jungkook, fuck, you good, man?”

Jungkook’s breath sobs out of him and he ends up on his knees again. The room is spinning, spinning, spinning. Both hyungs have two heads. Yoongi catches him when he pitches sideways, and Jimin crouches down beside them.

“Breathe, Kookie,” Jimin says. “Breathe.”

Jungkook’s head lolls, eyes fluttering as the dream tries to drag him in drag him back drag him down. Jungkook rips himself away from it then rips away from Yoongi so that he can get to his feet only to crash to his knees on the bathroom tiles and puke his guts up into the toilet.

“Jungkook.” The voice is breathless but it’s distinctly Taehyung.

Jungkook finds himself propped up against Yoongi’s chest again and his limbs aren’t really under his control anymore but he forces his eyes to focus on Taehyung, who’s standing in the doorway with red cheeks and a heaving chest. “T-Tae - “ Jungkook can’t get his tongue to work anymore either.

“Shh, kid,” Yoongi says.

Jimin is next. “It’s just the -“

“Quiet,” Taehyung says. “Let him work it out. He’s almost there.”

“Guess he’s still got his claws in you too,” Jimin spits. “This isn’t a game.”

Jungkook starts hyperventilating and his eyes are that fucking close to rolling back into his skull and the world is all vibrant splashes of colour and violent twists and turns. Laughter rings in his mind and someone is whistling Happy Birthday. “Taehyung - “

Taehyung is crouching in front of him now. He takes Jungkook’s chin between his fingers and helps Jungkook focus on his face. “Who’d you meet, Kookie?”

“Like it isn’t fucking obvious,” Yoongi growls. “Thought you had that fucker under control.”

Taehyung ignores him. “Jungkook. Leave him. Don’t play with him anymore, you understand?”

Jimin swears. “Tae, this is - “

Jungkook’s eyes close and there’s red hair and blue eyes and pupils blown too wide and a deranged smile and Jungkook - Jungkook -

He wrenches his eyes open. Taehyung is standing, arguing with Jimin - or, being yelled at anyway. Jungkook breathes deep and pulls his mind free and the world steadies and his tongue works and - “I met Taehyung,” he rasps. His skin is sweaty and clammy but the fucking tune of Happy Birthday has stopped. “I met - “ It hits him, where and what he’s been dreaming of this whole time. His muscles go slack in wonder. “The Hatter. Taehyung… was the Mad Hatter.”

All eyes are on him now, but Jungkook’s gaze is trained on Taehyung.

Taehyung stares back calmly, almost like he’s waiting, and Jungkook realises there’s more - of course there’s more. He’s known it for weeks now, knew it when he first saw Taehyung in the store with red hair and -

And blue eyes.

Taehyung sees that he gets it and to Jungkook’s surprise, he punches Jimin’s arm, says, “I fucking told you he would get it soon,” and beams at Jungkook.

They sit in a circle on the floor. Jungkook has his quilt wrapped around his shoulders and his fingers still tremor when he opens one of the kimbaps Jimin had raced out to buy. They don’t speak for a while, the silent agreement being that they’ll give Jungkook time to settle, and recover, and then mull over his realisation.

Taehyung watches him closely from where he sits beside him - Jungkook can feel the heat of his gaze on him but every time he looks, his brown eyes are calm and patient. Curious, even. Yet Jungkook is struggling to picture him any other way than what he dreamed of last night.

He drops his gaze to the kimbap in his hands. He knows he should try eat, but his body is rundown after the shock of adrenaline and he just wants to sleep - and not fucking dream. He licks his lips, feeling oddly small and disorientated because - he’s kinda a little scared still.

“So,” he says, clearing his throat. “So - I mean - “ He purses his lips then takes a huge bite from the kimbap, chewing furiously.

Yoongi pats his shoulder. “Give it time, kid. We were all reeling when it happened.”

Jungkook lifts his eyes to him and chews slower. “You guys had the dreams as well?” he asks around his mouthful, feeling relieved.

Jimin nods. “Yeah. Everyone does.”

“Everyone…?”

“Everyone Tae interacts with.” Jimin looks thoughtful for a moment then shrugs. “More or less. Anyway, more you hang with him, closer you are to him - “

“The worse the dreams are.” Yoongi leans back and drags the plastic bag with the food over. He pulls out a pack of chips and tears them open, then puts them in the middle of the group. “Sorry, Kook. If I’d realised what it was you’ve been dreaming of all these fucking weeks…”

Jungkook finds his hands are starting to shake again. The more he interacts…? He doesn’t want anymore dreams - not like the one from last night. Hell, not like anything he’s been dreaming of since - a quiet breath leaves him. Since he met Taehyung.

Jimin must see something on his face, because he speaks up again. “Don’t worry. They’ll settle. They might even stop. Ours pretty much did, once we found out who Tae is.”

Jungkook’s gaze immediately shifts to Taehyung. He’s still gazing back calmly. A kimbap lies unopened at his feet. If Jungkook closes his eyes for a just a few seconds, he can see Taehyung with red hair and blue eyes and pupils blown too wide, whistling Happy Birthday to him and inviting him to tea. But that isn’t this Taehyung and something in Jungkook’s chest uncoils and settles. A little.

“So you - you’re the Mad Hatter?” Jungkook asks, leaning away from Taehyung.

If Taehyung notices, he doesn’t comment. Instead he grins, eyes flashing that same blue from Jungkook’s dreams.

Jungkook presses his palms to his eyes. “I always thought you’d be more of a Cheshire Cat.”

Taehyung laughs at that, enticing Jungkook to look again. Taehyung’s smile has widened, dangerously so, impossibly so. The blue of his eyes turns a feral yellow, pupils turning to slits.

Jungkook rocks back, breathing sharply through his nose. He chances a look in Jimin’s direction but his attention can’t veer from Taehyung for long. “I don’t -“

Taehyung is Taehyung again. He blinks at Jungkook then laughs. “Oh! Oh, Kookie, you’ve misunderstood.” He tilts his head to rest his cheek in his hand and smiles. “I’m not from Wonderland. I am Wonderland.”

Chapter Text

Yoongi watches from his bed. Jungkook is still sitting on the floor, quilt around his shoulders. His gaze hasn’t lifted from the spot Taehyung was sitting at since Taehyung and Jimin’s departure 15 minutes ago. Taehyung had appeared calm and sure of himself, blinking slowly at Jungkook as he wished him good night - but when Yoongi nodded in acknowledgement of Jimin’s good night, he’d noticed Taehyung’s fingers twisting in the hem of Jimin’s shirt, keeping him close and using him as a bit of shield.

It prompts Yoongi to ask, “what are you and Taehyung?”

Jungkook frowns slowly, gaze still trained on the one spot. “…What?”

“You and Taehyung. What are you?”

“I dunno, hyung. What are you and Jimin?”

Yoongi sighs and leans back to rest his weight on his hands. “I’m serious, kid.”

Jungkook purses his lips and starts picking at loose threads in the quilt. “I dunno. We’re not nothing, but we’re not something.”

“That makes a whole lot of sense.”

“Nothing really makes sense right now,” Jungkook mutters. He rubs at his eyes with his palms.

Yoongi raises his brows and nods at that. Fair enough. He shimmies back a bit so that he can reach the window, then pulls at the blinds to see outside. Looks like they’ve got a little bit before sunrise. He looks back at Jungkook.

The kid is slumped, expression haggard. He’s pulled the blanket in tighter around himself and his eyes are back on Taehyung’s spot.

Yoongi clicks his tongue. “Yah, Kook. Go back to bed, get some sleep.”

Jungkook’s shoulders hunch. “I don’t want to - “

“You won’t dream.” Jungkook looks up at him, eyes big and round. His teeth are at his lip and Yoongi sighs, remembering just how much of a kid the kid is. “Promise.”

“How do you know?” But Jungkook seems convinced enough to start crawling in the direction of his bed.

Yoongi doesn’t answer. He waits until the lights are off and they’re both comfortable. “Because,” he says, his voice surprisingly grim, even to himself. “Taehyung’ll be sure of it.”

Seokjin is woken by a text from Jimin and shortly after, finds Taehyung sitting on the back porch. Seokjin hesitates in the doorway, hand pressed against the glass of the screen door. Taehyung sits on the top of the steps leading to the small backyard, head tilted back to stare at the stars. There’s shades of red in his hair.

“Jiminie text,” Seokjin says, finally stepping out onto the porch barefooted. “Jungkook knows, I take it?”

Taehyung looks back at him over his shoulder with blue eyes and pupils blown wide. He smiles slowly. “He knows. The Hatter had his fun with him, gave the game away.” Taehyung turns his gaze back to the night sky. There’s a weariness in the motion that causes sadness to curl miserably in the pit of Seokjin’s stomach. “He won’t dream tonight,” Taehyung says, propping his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. His voice is soft. There’s a beat of silence before Taehyung sighs and his head drops forward. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Seokjin watches as Taehyung slumps over his knees and hides his face in his arms. His hair burns red.

Jungkook doesn’t dream, as promised. He sleeps straight through until one in the afternoon and when he wakes, he can’t bring himself to get out of bed. So he shuffles around enough to balance on the end of the mattress and reach over to his desk and drag his laptop over and soon he’s laying back in bed with his laptop propped on his knees.

He stalls.

Slowly, he types in Alice in Wonderland and waits to see what comes up. He scrolls down the first page of links then finds himself growing awfully anxious and nauseous and is quick to get out of the window - only to find himself downloading torrents for every Alice in Wonderland movie in existence.

One of them may or may not be porn - he’s not 100%.

He binge watches through them. One minute he’s paying rapt attention and the next his mind is spinning off to think of Taehyung - Taehyung, with blue tinted hair and depthless eyes, who likes to blow smoke rings over countertops. Taehyung, with eyes of liquid ink, impenetrable by the brightest of lights. Taehyung, with hair that throws shades of purple and catlike eyes. Taehyung with -

Jungkook swallows.

Taehyung with red hair and blue eyes and pupils blown too wide.

Jungkook sets his laptop aside and reaches for his phone. He opens his messages and hesitates over Taehyung’s thread. He doesn’t realise he’s been staring at the name for sometime, or that Yoongi has returned from recording with Namjoon, until Yoongi speaks up.

“Wanna talk to him?”

Jungkook starts, phone spiralling out of his fingers. He makes a mad attempt to save it and almost knocks his laptop clean off the bed. “Huh?”

“Taehyung. Do you want to talk to Taehyung?”

“What kind of a question is that?” Jungkook mumbles, settling back under the covers. He watches Yoongi shrug out of his jacket and throw it on his bed. He starts on his shoes next. “I’m not 5.”

Yoongi deadpans at that and throws his left shoe at Jungkook. “Not what I meant, you idiot.” He throws the right shoe next. “I mean - like do you wanna - are you up to talking to him?”

Jungkook frowns at that and mulls the question over. The fear from last night has mostly settled, leaving a burning curiosity and the most maddening form of anxiety. He wants to know more and he wants to know less. He wants the memory of Taehyung shifting from one character to another, seamlessly and without effort, erased - but Jungkook can’t stop replaying it because there’s something so fucking hypnotising about it. “I think so,” Jungkook says at last, voice falling quietly.

“He’ll have all your answers,” Yoongi says. He’s seated at his desk now, playing around on his computer with a composition. “And I’m not in the mood to play 20 questions - “

“I haven’t even asked - “

“- Which you’re bound to start attempting in a good 15 minutes. So text him. Ask to meet up with him.”

Jungkook looks at his phone again. He lights up the display screen. It’s getting late. “Yeah, maybe.”

Yoongi snorts. “Convincing.”

Jungkook sighs and runs his hands through his hair.

“Look, kid, relax. Hatter isn’t a fun time when he really gets going - “

“- Fucking tell me about it.”

“ - But he’s certainly not the worst of the lot.”

Now it’s Jungkook deadpanning at Yoongi. He throws Yoongi’s shoes back to him. “How the fuck is that supposed to help, hyung?”

“Well at least you don’t have them living in your head.”

Jungkook frowns. “Is that why -“

“Nope, fuck off, said I wasn’t down for 20 questions. Taehyung’s probably at the pond. Fucking go ask him your questions.”

“…You’re the shittest hyung ever.”

An hour later, Jungkook is making his way to the small pond. He trods down the hill, scanning the darkness for Taehyung. A lamppost in the quad casts warm golden light over the area, and Jungkook manages to spot Taehyung laying on the grass by the water’s edge. Taehyung must hear him, because his tips his head back to try and see, before rolling onto his front to watch Jungkook’s approach.

“Hey,” he says quietly, pushing up to sit cross-legged.

Jungkook stops in front of him. He sucks in a breath then drops to match Taehyung’s position. “Hey, hyung…”

Taehyung is himself. His hair reflects the light from the lamppost and his eyes don’t reflect otherworldly scenes. He is tired though - and maybe a little unsure.

Jungkook tries to smile, to reassure him. He’s not sure if it works. “So… Wonderland hey?”

Taehyung just blinks at him.

“I - I didn’t dream last night,” Jungkook says, looking past Taehyung to the pond. The water is still and dark.

“Mm,” Taehyung hums, fingers curling nervously around blades of grass. “I made sure you wouldn’t.”

“Yoongi said you would do that.”

“Did he?” Taehyung’s voice falls quietly and his gaze lowers, avoiding Jungkook’s eyes when they go seeking.

“Yeah…” Jungkook watches Taehyung fiddle with the blades of grass. His fingers shake slightly and Jungkook honest to god can’t say if it’s from nerves or exhaustion because the light is painting awful hollows in Taehyung’s cheeks. And his nose - Jungkook remembers what else Yoongi said, just before Jungkook had left. “Your nose is twitching,” he says, almost in awe because honestly he thought Yoongi had been fucking around. “Like a nervous rabbit’s…”

Taehyung’s gaze shoots up - and so does his hand. It covers his nose. “Shut up,” he mumbles, hunching his shoulders. “You’re the one with bunny teeth.”

“Yah, hyung,” Jungkook whines, covering his mouth with his hand.

Taehyung blinks once, twice, then starts to smile. “You said you wanted to talk?”

Jungkook sighs and drops his hand away. “Yeah but honestly, I haven’t got a clue what I wanna fucking say. Or ask. Just - yeah.”

Taehyung observes him and then slowly lowers his hand away from his nose. It’s still twitching, worse than it was, and Jungkook actually finds the display of nerves a little endearing. “Wanna…” Taehyung trails off then tries again. “Wanna see?”

Jungkook sits up straight. “See?”

“Yeah, y’know - “ Taehyung gives him a pointed look.

“Oh. Uh. Yeah. Yeah, I - “ Jungkook stops and deadpans at himself. “Yeah. That’d be cool.”

Taehyung laughs at him, hands patting Jungkook’s folded knees. He shuffles around and gets himself comfortable, then leans in close so that Jungkook can see his eyes clearly. “Ok,” he says, lips curling. “Watch carefully. This part always happens by accident, I’m not very good at it.”

“Good at - “ Jungkook cuts off, breath stalling in his throat. His fingers cuff around Taehyung’s wrists on their own violation, keeping him there and keeping him close as Jungkook leans in even closer, until their noses are brushing, until they’re sharing the same air, until - “Is that - ?”

“Wonderland?” Taehyung asks quietly, lashes fluttering. “Yeah. What do you see?”

Jungkook brushes Taehyung’s hair back with one hand then cups his face, keeping him steady. “A lake.” A gigantic lake, ringed by dense woods. The water sparkles under a full moon.

“The Lake of Endless Tears,” Taehyung says. “The Cat said he saved you once.”

“The Cat…?”

Taehyung hums.

“Wait, as in the Cheshire - “

“What do you see now?” Taehyung winces when Jungkook’s nails dig into his skin. “Ow, ow, Kookie, you’re - you’re hurting.”

Jungkook’s eyes are wide. “The - it’s - “ He tightens his grip around Taehyung’s wrist, digs his nails into the soft skin of his cheek a little more.

“The tea party?” Taehyung guesses, voice strained. “Jungkook, my wrist. Jungkook.”

Jungkook inhales and pulls back, releasing Taehyung. “Sorry. Sorry…” He rubs his hands over his thighs and licks his lips. His stomach is rolling as fear settles in his gut, potent and nauseating. “Sorry, Tae.”

“It’s ok,” Taehyung says quietly, massaging his wrist. He regards Jungkook for a moment, then seeks out his fingers. He squeezes them. “Y’know, I spoke to him.”

“Who? The Hatter?”

“He won’t bother you anymore. He’s safe, I promise. He’s just - “

“Yoongi said he wasn’t the worst of the lot,” Jungkook says. He drops his gaze to his and Taehyung’s linked fingers.

“Ah.” Taehyung’s voice is low. “Did he? Yoongi-hyung knows a lot, doesn’t he?”

Jungkook nods, peeking up at Taehyung. A breeze blows through the area, stirring the water. Taehyung’s hair blows in front of his eyes and Jungkook brushes it back. He keeps his hand there. “How long has this been happening?”

Taehyung blinks. He looks thoughtful for a moment, then he smiles. “I haven’t even shown you the good part.”

Jungkook lets him dodge the question, though he doesn’t know why Taehyung would. “The good part?”

“Remember when I said there’s no magic here?” Taehyung leans in close, grinning. “I lied.” His hair turns lilac and his pupils slit and suddenly his eyes are yellow and he smiles so fucking wide Jungkook is sure it must hurt. “Jungkookie,” he sings, grinning even wider. His eyes widen too, the pupils shrinking.

Jungkook inhales through his nose and tries to lean back away from Taehyung, but Taehyung just follows - then keeps coming, until Jungkook is lying in the grass and Taehyung hovers over him. Taehyung straddles his waist and cocks his head, examining Jungkook - and Jungkook gets the funny feeling that this isn’t all Taehyung.

“H-Hey,” Jungkook says, voice strained. “You’re the Cat right?”

Yellow eyes flick up to meet his and Taehyung nods. “At your acquaintance.”

“Do you like to make everything sound like a song?”

The Cat laughs and when Taehyung starts to turn transparent but for his smile and his eyes, Jungkook manages to sit upright. Taehyung slides into his lap and Jungkook’s hands find his waist with an alarmed call of Taehyung’s name.

Taehyung is solid again. “Sorry, Jungkookie.” The words aren’t sung to him. “This is - complicated to explain.” He smiles and it looks a little sad. “I drew a little closer to the transformation line than I intended.”

Jungkook’s head is reeling and he doesn’t bother to seek for an explanation. He just nods. “Ok.”

“Here,” Taehyung says quietly. It sounds like an offering. His hair turns blue. “The Caterpillar doesn’t care to play so much.”

Taehyung’s still not making sense but Jungkook is too fascinated by the strands of blue. He weaves his fingers into them then meets Taehyung’s eyes. “The party at Namjoon’s.”

Taehyung frowns then his face lights up. “Oh, yeah! Well done.”

Jungkook meets the Rabbit - who paints Taehyung’s hair white, and his eyes the palest of pinks, and sets Taehyung’s nose twitching (so Yoongi had been literal about Taehyung’s nose twitching like a nervous rabbit’s) - and the Queen - who - who - who gives Jungkook all sorts of mixed reactions. Taehyung’s hair is shades of midnight and his eyes are liquid ink and completely impenetrable by light.

“Oh my god,” Jungkook blurts, thumb brushing over the small mole on Taehyung’s upper lip. “It’s changing shape.”

Taehyung blinks languidly then raises a brow. Jungkook’s beginning to notice that each character has an effect on Taehyung’s demeanour and suddenly so many things are making fucking sense for once.

“The Suits,” Taehyung says at last. “Wonderland’s armed forces. Now, be careful, Jeon Jungkook.”

Jungkook frowns. “What? Why?”

“Because the Hatter is here to play.” Taehyung’s hair turns red and his eyes turn blue with pupils blown too wide. He smiles at Jungkook and starts to laugh. When Jungkook makes to put space between them, Taehyung seizes his chin and keeps him in place. “Jeon Jungkook, how nice to see you again.”

“Taehyung - “

“Still calling me by that wretched name, I see.”

Jungkook’s fingers claw into the dirt. “Taehyung.”

“You made quite the fuss at my party the other night. And then Taehyung here says I’m not to play with you again.”

“Taehyung!”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Fine, fine, fine. Here, have him back.” Taehyung stares at him a bit more then blinks - and blinks again, and again. “Jungkookie. You’re shaking.” He frowns and tries searching for Jungkook’s hand - but Jungkook jerks it away from him. “Oh.” Taehyung smiles sadly, eyes at half-mast, and gives Jungkook space. “Sorry. He’s like the Cat. He likes to play. I promise he’s harmless. Better him than the Queen…”

Jungkook breathes in and out, watching Taehyung warily. He’s so tense it hurts and he tries to tell his heart to calm the fuck down because it’s Taehyung for Christ’s sake. He closes his eyes, inhales deep, and breathes it out shakily. He blinks his eyes open again. Taehyung is looking at the stars.

“You won’t stop dreaming, Jungkookie,” Taehyung says quietly. His eyes are still blue but his hair is losing its vibrancy. His next words are basically a murmur. “We like you too much.” He tilts his head and looks at Jungkook out of the corner of his eye. “But they’ll settle, I promise. And everyone will be very hospitable. And you’ll be safe. You’ll be safe…”

And Jungkook can’t stand the note of sadness in Taehyung’s voice, or the way it softens his face in all the wrong ways, and he especially hates that he’s the cause for it. “It’s like one massive fucking identity crisis.” His voice comes out croaky and he clears his throat.

Taehyung frowns. “What?”

Jungkook waves his hand at Taehyung and averts his gaze. “Y’know. You. It’s like an - identity crisis. Or multiple personality disorder or whatever it’s called.”

Taehyung is silent for a moment, then bursts out laughing. When Jungkook looks, Taehyung is staring at the stars again, boxy grin wide. “Yeah,” he says, raking his fingers through his hair. It’s brown again but it still throws shades of red. “I guess you’re right.” He shoots Jungkook a broad smile. “Wait until you see the real identity crisis.”

Before Jungkook can question that, Taehyung gets to his feet and dusts himself down. He rubs at his wrist and gently touches the crescent marks left on his cheek from Jungkook.

“Sorry,” Jungkook says, getting to his own feet.

Taehyung shakes his head. “Hey, considering Yoongi’s instinctive reaction was to punch me -“

“Wait what?”

“- I think I can deal with some clawing.” Taehyung laughs, rubbing at his cheek. “Wanna… wanna come back to mine? We can put a movie on or something?”

Jungkook chews at his lower lip and tries not to examine Taehyung’s sudden vulnerability. He knows this offer holds a heavy weight. Are we all right, Taehyung asks with blue eyes and pupils blown too wide, are we still us?

Jungkook shrugs and starts in the direction of Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s. “I’m choosing.”

Taehyung quickly catches up. His fingers curl into the hem of Jungkook’s shirt and he smiles shyly, eyes brown again. “Sure.”

“Well if there’s one good thing,” Jungkook says. “It means I was right.”

Taehyung hums questioningly and starts to skip a bit.

“Your eyes do change fucking colour!”

Taehyung stops for a moment, then tips his head back and laughs.

Jungkook wakes in Wonderland. Grass tickles his ribs and drops of rain soak his clothes. A figure with white hair and pale pink eyes hovers over him nervously, umbrella clutched tightly in one hand. His nose twitches.

“Taehyung,” Jungkook says, pushing himself onto his elbows.

The boy steps back quickly, hand at his mouth, eyes big and unsure. His nose twitches some more then he nods to himself and approaches Jungkook again. He holds the umbrella so that it shields them both. “J-Jungkook?”

Jungkook nods and stands, watching the Rabbit closely. The anxious twitching of his nose is still kind of cute, but really, Jungkook just wants to reach out and soothe him. He looks so fucking terrified. “And you’re the Rabbit.”

“You can call me Taehyung if you prefer,” he says, eyes trained downwards. He seems to have an internal argument with himself, one which Jungkook watches with an amused brow raised. Eventually, he nods to himself, and when he looks at Jungkook, his pale pink eyes are sharp. “Come,” he says, taking Jungkook’s wrist and dragging him along into the forest. “We’re late. Very, very late.”

Jungkook stumbles after him. “Late? Late for what?”

The Rabbit shakes his head and Jungkook kind of really wants to run his fingers through the white strands. “Does not matter. Just follow.” He ducks his head to peer out from under the umbrella, looking up at the sky. “It is raining in Wonderland…”

“I’ve noticed.”

Pink eyes flicker to look at him. “No, you don’t understand. It never rains in Wonderland. Not unless one of them is crying…”

“One of them?”

The Rabbit smiles unsurely and nods. “Yes, one of them.”

Jungkook looks at the sky and wonders if Taehyung is ‘one of them’. Are you crying, Tae?

“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.” The Rabbit comes to a halt and holds onto Jungkook so tightly it hurts. “Oh dear, oh dear.”

“What? What’s wrong?” But Jungkook can already feel it. The ground underneath his feet is rumbling and the world is starting to swing side to side. “Rabbit,” Jungkook grinds out. “What - “

The world flips and they fall.

Jungkook lands in a chair. His hands fly to grip the seat as it rocks back and forth on its legs, threatening to topple. The Rabbit falls into place beside him, pink eyes wide, umbrella still up.

“You’re late.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen, heart squeezing inside his ribs. He stares across the table to see the Hatter piling some fruit onto a plate. He slides it across the table to Jungkook, then pours him tea.

The Rabbit worries at his lip and collapses his umbrella. “I know. I’m sorry.”

The Hatter smiles. “No worries. We have Jungkook with us here now.”

Jungkook makes to flee but there are paws on his shoulders shoving him back into his seat. He releases a breath and glances around wildly. He needs to get out of here, out of here, out of here.

“Relax,” the Hatter purrs, resting his cheek in his hand. “We’re just going to have some tea.”

“Not thirsty,” Jungkook croaks. Beside him, the Rabbit is picking nervously at a piece of cake. “Besides, I have clear instructions - “

“Not to play with me any longer, I know, I know.” The Hatter sighs and rolls his eyes. “That Taehyung of yours is awfully protective of you, y’know.”

“I like him,” the Rabbit says quietly.

“You would.”

Jungkook looks between the pair and tries to wrap his head around the situation. This is fucking madness. They both look like Taehyung, they both are Taehyung but - they’re not him. But they are him. Jungkook can see fragments of Taehyung in them so clearly. Or maybe he’s just been seeing fragments of them in Taehyung all this time.

The thought makes his head spin.

Just how well does he know Taehyung? What is Taehyung and what is Wonderland?

He shakes his head, banishing the thought. Fuck that. Taehyung is Taehyung. Taehyung is the boy who asks too many complicated imaginative what ifs, who works at the corner store with Jimin and lives with Seokjin and Namjoon, who gets too excited and fidgety in movies regardless of the genre, who runs like a furnace when they cuddle under the sheets.

The Hatter breaks him out of his reverie. “I figured I would try to make it up to you.”

“Uh huh,” Jungkook says, not believing it for a moment. He won’t touch the food and he won’t drink the tea.

“How would you like a tour of Wonderland?”

Jungkook stares at him. “A tour?”

The Rabbit nibbles on the side of this thumb as he looks between them. “The rain has stopped…” He shrugs. “It could be fun.”

“No games,” the Hatter says. “I promise. Just some sweet company and a perfect guide. I’ve had my stern talking to, don’t you worry.”

Jungkook closes his eyes, clenches his fists, and puffs out his cheeks. “Ok. Fine. Let’s go.”

“Brilliant.” The Hatter smirks and clicks his fingers. The table vanishes and they’re standing deep inside the woods. The sun is pale and weak but it breaks through the canopy in sporadic shards of broken light. The fragments dance when the leaves do. “Cat, you around?”

“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.” The Rabbit shies away, clutching his umbrella to his chest. “Oh dear, oh dear.”

Jungkook frowns at him and makes to ask, but then there’s a low familiar chuckle and his gaze is darting into the canopies. His smile appears first, an impossibly wide and toothy display. Then it’s his eyes, glowing yellow in the shadows. Then his face, his shoulders, his feet, his thighs, and finally his torso. He pushes a hand through his lilac hair and grins down at them from the branch he’s seated on.

“Jungkookie,” he sings, swinging his legs. “Welcome.”

“We’ve volunteered to give him a tour of Wonderland,” the Hatter explains, examining his nails. He brushes down his jacket and smoothes his hands over his hair. “I thought you might be interested in joining us.”

The Cat raises his eyebrows and rocks backwards, hanging upside down by his knees. He claps his hands thoughtfully. “Which way are you headed?”

The Hatter smirks and plants a fist on his hip. “Really, Cat?”

The Cat shrugs. “Important question.” He drops down and lands on his feet. He grins. “Fine. I’ll join you.”

“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear,” the Rabbit whimpers, stepping back and back and back until Jungkook shields him from the Cat’s view.

Jungkook frowns and looks back at him over his shoulder. The Rabbit’s pink eyes are wide, nose twitching, bottom lip quivering. Jungkook’s expression softens and he turns to bring the Rabbit closer, hand gentle where he takes his upper arm to bring him to his side.

“Hello, Rabbit,” the Cat sings, stalking closer. He begins to circle, grinning wide to reveal sharp teeth. His pupils shrink. “It’s been a while.”

The Rabbit whimpers and presses into Jungkook’s side. He starts muttering under his breath, eyes dropping to the ground as his brow furrows. Jungkook is having difficulties enough trying to separate the image of Taehyung from these Taehyungs, but seeing the Rabbit’s expression on Taehyung’s face, and feeling his familiar warmth - Jungkook shakes his head. This is a mindfuckery like no other.

The Cat tilts his head at an impossible angle and his eyes swivel left, almost disappearing into his skull. His ears twitch. “Uh oh.”

“Uh oh?” The Hatter echoes, standing straighter.

The Cat smiles. “Uh oh.”

Then they can hear it too, the distant rumble. Then they feel it. It’s violent as it rips beneath their feet. Jungkook ends up on his knees, as does the Rabbit. The Cat jumps up into the trees and watches from above. The Hatter stays on his feet and dusts himself down, unimpressed. There’s another violent rumble and Jungkook ends up on his front, struggling to even get to all fours.

“Don’t look at me,” the Hatter says, throwing his hands up when he sees Jungkook glaring his way. “Cat?”

“Not me,” he sings from his safety in the tree. He’s swinging his legs - and then the whole of Wonderland is careening on its side and the Cat yowls, scrambling to keep a hold on his branch as he goes sliding along it.

Wonderland shakes and shudders then starts to spin. The wind whistles over Jungkook’s head and he grits his teeth, pressing himself as close to the ground as possible. Wonderland jolts to a standstill, sending the Hatter stumbling, and then Wonderland starts turning like the inside of a dryer.

Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut.

Jungkook wakes in Taehyung’s bed, chest heaving. His mind is still spinning and his vision takes a while to focus and he’s 60% sure he may throw up. He takes deep breaths, trying to quell the nausea. Slowly, everything steadies, and he exhales. The ceiling fan is ticking away and the sheets are coiled around his waist.

He turns his head to see Taehyung sleeping beside him. His brow is crumpled, lips parted. He puffs short, fevered breaths over Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook runs a hand through Taehyung’s brown locks then slips his hand into Taehyung’s warm one and squeezes.

Chapter Text

Jungkook gets to know Wonderland. The Hatter, Cat and Rabbit take him under their wing, and they wander the forest night after night. Jungkook meets the Caterpillar, who cares about him enough to ask who he is and that’s about it, and then Jungkook is promptly insulted and teased (and dually complimented and praised) by the flowers.

The Hatter takes Jungkook running through the maze, bursting in and out of rose bushes. They stalk after the Suits, painting the red roses white again. Where the red paint is too wet, the colours mix to make pink, and the Hatter winces, bows, and apologises to the roses each time it happens. They manage to make it to the middle of the maze and it is here Jungkook catches glimpses of the Queen.

The sight of Taehyung with hair the shade of midnight and eyes as black as the pits of hell has something stirring in Jungkook’s stomach, and he stares at the Queen with mouth parted and eyes wide. The Hatter clucks his tongue and spills charms to a very unamused Queen, then takes Jungkook by the arm and pulls him back the way they came.

There is silence.

And then there is the Queen’s rage. Jungkook can hear the screams even over the thumping of the Suits’ feet as they chase after them. Hell, even when the Hatter pulls them out of the maze and they go tumbling down the hill and then sprinting across the clearing, Jungkook can still hear “off with their heads off with their heads!”

The Rabbit invites Jungkook round for tea one day. Jungkook recognises the house instantly - or what remains of it since he grew through its ceiling and walls. He winces and apologises. The Rabbit ducks his head shyly and shrugs, telling Jungkook it’s ok as he leads him inside. It is this Taehyung - soft, shy Taehyung, with pale pink eyes and white hair and a nose that twitches - that chokes Jungkook up, that confuses him the most.

The Cat takes Jungkook swimming in the Lake of Endless Tears, and then they join the Hatter at his tea party.

“A tea party to last for eternity,” the Hatter boasts, balancing a stack of five brightly coloured teacups. If Jungkook’s honest, the Hatter still makes his insides curl, and Jungkook is yet to accept a cup of tea without having someone else sip from it first.

The dormouse hiccups and falls into his gigantic cup with a splash, and the brown rabbit, always seated beside the Hatter, loses it, jumping all over the table and nattering away like a mad man. The Cat laughs and jumps up on the table to join him. Jungkook pulls a face and rocks back onto the hind legs of his chair, avoiding the mess of food, tea and crockery that goes flying through the air.

Across from him, the Hatter rests his chin in his hand and smirks.

When Jungkook meets the Twins - a brief, brief meeting indeed that can’t even really be classified as a meeting - he’s momentarily floored because -

“Tae…” Jungkook mutters, slipping away from the others. He steps over roots and fallen branches and treks closer to where he can see Taehyung through the tree line. He’s in a small clearing, laughing loudly. Jungkook starts to walk faster. “Tae!”

The Hatter appears in front of him. “Uh-uh,” he says. “They’re fun to play with until they trap you in one of their stupid games for the next century.”

“Wh-what? They?” Jungkook blinks and then looks past the Hatter. There’s two Taehyungs, identical to each other and identical to Taehyung-Taehyung. They’ve come to stand side by side and they tilt their heads towards each other, staring back at Jungkook through the trees. Slowly, they smile. It’s that little bit too excited and childish, and it makes Jungkook retreat a step or two. “Taehyung…”

The Hatter snorts and starts dragging Jungkook back to the path. The Twins sook and whine and call after them, thick lower lips pushed out into a pout as they stomp their feet. Jungkook keeps glancing back over at them with wide eyes, because -

The Hatter can read his thoughts, apparently. “How long will it take for you to realise that none of us are him, despite how much we appear to be?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer. He shrugs his arm free of the Hatter’s hold and shoves his hands in his pockets, gaze drifting down to his feet. There’s a shy, gentle touch on his arm and Jungkook knows immediately that it’s the Rabbit - even if the touch, like everything else is this fucking place, bleeds of Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung.

Despite the sunshine and smiles and adventures, Jungkook still wakes up each time with his stomach in his throat and his sheets on the floor. Wonderland still tumbles and turns violently whenever it fucking pleases, throwing Jungkook to the ground and eventually into wakefulness. Some nights are worse than others - the nights where Jungkook is trapped in Wonderland as it spins and flips and shudders and shakes. The Cat is the easiest to call for when Jungkook ends up on his knees, unable to stay steady on his feet, and he always appears smile first.

Whenever Jungkook tries to ask just what the fuck is going on, the Cat just grins dementedly at him and laughs.

Jungkook and Taehyung meet at the pond frequently. Taehyung lies in the grass by the water’s edge until Jungkook arrives, then he slowly sits up and crosses his legs and lets Jungkook slide his hands into Taehyung’s hair to hold him steady while he gazes at the reflections of Wonderland in Taehyung’s eyes.

Today is no different. Jungkook scratches his nails over Taehyung’s scalp gently, watches as Taehyung hums and closes his eyes, hiding away the royal maze. Jungkook sweeps a thumb under Taehyung’s right eye. There’s dark, dark shadows on show.

“Have you been sleeping all right?” Jungkook asks quietly, guiding his thumb down over the rise of Taehyung’s cheek to brush over his lips, his jaw, the column of this throat. “You look exhausted.”

Taehyung hums and tilts his head into the support of the hand still in his hair. “‘M fine,” he murmurs, lashes fluttering as he opens his eyes. The maze is gone. “What about you?”

Jungkook lifts his gaze to meet Taehyung’s. “Wonderland still enjoys violently ejecting me each night.”

Taehyung laughs and shakes his head, ducking out of Jungkook’s touch.

Jungkook pulls him back again, cups both sides of his face and examines Taehyung carefully. His skin is a little pale, his cheeks a little hollow. He wants to ask why Taehyung is so sick, wants to ask if it’s because of Wonderland - or perhaps Jungkook is somehow to blame. Instead Jungkook tilts Taehyung’s chin up and presses their foreheads together. Taehyung’s eyes have closed again.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook murmurs, smoothing his thumbs over Taehyung’s cheeks.

Taehyung laughs quietly and his eyes open slowly. They’re blue. “You can do whatever you please, Jeon Jungkook.”

So Jungkook slides his hands into Taehyung’s hair and kisses him. Taehyung’s mouth is pliant beneath his own, opening with a single stroke of Jungkook’s tongue over his lips. It makes Jungkook smile, despite himself, and Taehyung must feel it because he laughs into Jungkook’s mouth, curls his fingers into Jungkook’s shirt, and tugs him closer.

It causes them to overbalance. Taehyung’s back hits the ground and Jungkook lands on top of him. Taehyung lets out a quiet grunt then laughs again and winds his arms around Jungkook’s neck, pulling him close as he strokes over the roof of Jungkook’s mouth.

The sun beats down on them, losing its heat as it begins to set. Jungkook kisses Taehyung slowly, lazily, enjoying the moment and the warmth of Taehyung pressed against him. He bites down on Taehyung’s lower lip, revels in the small gasp. Taehyung’s eyes open and fuck they’re so dark, pupils blown so wide, that Jungkook’s stomach does flips before it tightens and heats.

“My place?” Taehyung asks, brushing his nose past Jungkook’s as they pant together.

Jungkook smirks and crawls backwards, rocking back onto his haunches. He stands and helps Taehyung up, then sweeps his hands over Taehyung’s clothes, brushing off stray grass and dirt. “Race you.”

Taehyung blinks up at him, eyes wide. “What?”

Jungkook raises his brows, turns on his heel, and takes off. Taehyung yells after him.

They burst through the front door, laughing and breathing hard. They stumble over each other, crashing against one another and the hallway walls. Taehyung laughs and fists his hands in Jungkook’s shirt and pulls him over and into a kiss. They stumble backwards and Taehyung’s shoulders knock against the doorframe. Jungkook puts his hands on Taehyung’s waist and steadies them - how, he’s not sure, because he can barely think past the way Taehyung is licking into his mouth and pulling on his lower lip and pressing himself up against Jungkook.

They make it to Taehyung’s bedroom and collapse onto the bed. Taehyung crawls over Jungkook and straddles his waist. He puts his hands on Jungkook’s chest and gazes down at him. Jungkook steadies his breathing and stares back, letting Taehyung examine him for once. The windows are open and the afternoon breeze sends Taehyung’s bangs dancing across his eyes.

Jungkook sits up, arm winding around Taehyung’s back to keep him in place, and pushes Taehyung’s hair back.

Taehyung cups his face and kisses him.

Jungkook groans quietly and falls back onto the mattress, pulling Taehyung down with him. Taehyung maps his mouth slowly and expertly. His hands slide under Jungkook’s shirt then lift it over his head. Jungkook’s hands find the bottom of Taehyung’s shirt from behind and he pulls it up, dragging his nails over Taehyung’s back before Taehyung sits up to take it off.

Jungkook stares up at Taehyung, admires the redness of his lips and the haziness of his gaze and the way his chest heaves. Jungkook runs his hands up and down Taehyung’s sides and drinks the sight of him in. His hands trace over Taehyung’s waistline, following it to Taehyung’s belt buckle, then to the button on his jeans.

Taehyung rolls them so that Jungkook can drag Taehyung’s jeans down and off. Jungkook follows with his own jeans and locates lube and a condom, hurrying when he can feel the heat of Taehyung’s gaze on him. Then Taehyung is moving, curling up. Jungkook meets him half way, slotting their mouths together. He braces his weight on his right hand and traces over Taehyung with his left - cheek, jaw, neck, shoulder, chest, ribs, waist, hip -

Taehyung inhales sharply and arches up into Jungkook.

Jungkook chuckles quietly and moves his hand slowly. Taehyung breathes out shakily into his mouth, fingers digging into Jungkook’s skin.

“Relax,” Jungkook murmurs, flicking his thumb over the tip. “Pretty sure this is supposed to relieve tension, hyung.”

Taehyung retaliates by sucking a mark onto Jungkook’s collarbone. This time it’s Jungkook jolting in shock, grip tightening around Taehyung’s length. Taehyung laughs and kisses the mark. Jungkook nudges at Taehyung’s head with his nose, and when Taehyung lifts his face to look, Jungkook kisses him again, and again, and again - and then takes his kisses down, down, down, until Taehyung’s hands are curling into his hair and his back is arching from the bed and Jungkook has to brace an arm across Taehyung’s hips to keep them pinned.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Taehyung chants, fingers combing through Jungkook’s hair apologetically before they’re clenching around dark strands again and pulling. “Fuck. Why the fuck are you so sneaky?” he demands between pants.

Jungkook raises a brow and pulls back. “No clue what you’re talking about,” he says, carefully sliding a second finger in next to the first.   The lube sits open next to him.

Taehyung arches his back from the bed when Jungkook gently probes around. He starts to laugh, tipping his head back, then glances down at Jungkook with yellow eyes. Jungkook’s fingers still for a moment - but it’s enough to have Taehyung’s eyes flickering brown again, hips wriggling in an attempt to get Jungkook’s fingers moving again.

Jungkook stretches Taehyung quickly - then slowly, so slowly that Taehyung digs his heels into the mattress and bucks his hips and presses the palms of his hands to his eyes and grits his teeth and curses Jungkook’s very existence. Jungkook smothers a smile - and eventually a laugh - against the skin of Taehyung’s inner thigh. He nips at it then pulls his fingers free. Taehyung huffs out a breath, legs kicking on the mattress in a fit.

“I hate you.”

“Right.”

“I really hate you.”

“Sure you do.”

“Jeon Jungkook I really - fuck - “ Taehyung’s hands fly to grip at Jungkook’s shoulders as Jungkook slides in. He digs his nails in and and bites at his lower lip. His legs come up automatically to wrap around Jungkook’s waist.

“What was that?” Jungkook teases, pressing kisses to Taehyung’s jaw.

“I hate you.”

“You sure?” Jungkook finds Taehyung’s mouth.

Taehyung smiles and winds his fingers into Jungkook’s hair. “Yeah,” he says, whispering the word into Jungkook’s mouth. “Pretty sure.”

Jungkook presses their foreheads together and lets his eyes flit over Taehyung’s face. His cheeks are red, mouth even redder. He pants over Jungkook’s lips and lifts his gaze to meet Jungkook’s.

Jungkook swallows thickly and ghosts his fingers over Taehyung’s chin. Taehyung smiles softly then clenches around Jungkook.

“Fuck,” Jungkook chokes out, hips snapping forward of their own accord.

Taehyung laughs and kisses him. “Hurry up, brat.”

Jungkook smirks, snaps his hips sharply, and admires the way Taehyung unravels below him - can’t stop admiring it, the definition of his facial structure, the sweat on his collarbones, the curve of his shoulders. Even when Taehyung finally comes undone beneath him - tightening around Jungkook impossibly so and almost tipping him over his own edge - Jungkook can’t stop staring. Fuck he can’t stop noticing, so he stares, and stares, even as Taehyung kisses him, grazes his teeth over his shoulder, brings him to his end, laughs quietly in his ear - Jungkook stares.

Wonderland stares back at him, twinkling under the sunlight.

Namjoon kicks his shoes off at the door - then quickly aligns them neatly before Seokjin can scold him later. He calls out a hello and gets Taehyung’s murmured greeting in response. Namjoon frowns and shrugs out of his jacket. He finds Taehyung lying on the couch, belly down, cheek cushioned on his hands.

Throwing his jacket onto the second couch, Namjoon taps Taehyung’s legs. “Shove.”

Taehyung grumbles and bends his knees, lifting his feet into the air. When Namjoon sits, he guides Taehyung’s feet to rest in his lap.

“Was Jungkook over?” Namjoon asks, reaching for the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. Taehyung’s halfway through some movie - an animation, no surprise. “Tae?”

“…Yeah, hyung?” The response is soft, sleepy and slurred.

Namjoon looks over. Taehyung is pale and tired and - Namjoon purses his lips and pats Taehyung’s calves. Lately Taehyung is always pale and tired. “Was Jungkook over?”

“Yeah.” Taehyung sighs quietly, lashes fluttering as he fights again his eyelids. He loses, and his eyes drift closed. “He left just before you came home.” One of his hands slides off the couch and his knuckles brush over the floorboards.

Namjoon frowns and sets the popcorn back on the table. He reaches over Taehyung and pushes his hair back from his forehead. “Hey,” he says quietly, checking for a temperature. “How you doing?”

Taehyung frowns and shakes his head to remove Namjoon’s hand. “Yah, hyung,” he whines, burying his face in the crook of his elbow. “I’m fine.”

“The guys were thinking we could all grab lunch and some beers tomorrow but Seokjin’s never gonna let you leave the house if - “

“I’m fine, hyung.”

Namjoon clicks his tongue and goes for the popcorn again. He shoves a handful in his mouth and frowns at the kernels that land on his chest. “If you say so,” he says around his mouthful.

“Gross, hyung…”

“Shut up. What’s gross is knowing that you and Jungkook probably fucked on this very couch while Seokjin and I were out.”

“Nah, used your bed.”

Namjoon chokes and slams his fist against his chest. “Don’t even joke.”

Taehyung doesn’t reply.

“Oi, Taehyung, you’d better fucking be joking, I swear. Seokjin’ll freak.” Namjoon scowls and leans back over Taehyung to shake his shoulder. “Hey, are you - “ Namjoon cuts off and tilts Taehyung’s face towards him. He’s out. Namjoon pats Taehyung’s cheek a few times, calling to him softly. When there’s nothing, he sighs, rubs Taehyung’s cheek, then settles back into the couch.

“What am I freaking out about?”

Namjoon’s hands slip on the bowl of popcorn. It tips upside down in his lap and he swears quietly to himself. “Hey, babe.”

Seokjin rests his hands on Namjoon’s shoulders, and his chin on his head. He sighs. “Make sure you check under the cushions when you eventually vacuum that up.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Namjoon mutters. His cheeks start to flare. “Sorry.”

Seokjin laughs and squeezes Namjoon’s shoulders. He soon falls quiet and Namjoon knows his gaze is on Taehyung. “How is he?”

“No fever,” Namjoon says. He links his fingers with Seokjin’s then pulls him down so that Seokjin’s arms wrap around his neck. “But he’s exhausted.”

“I bet.” Seokjin’s voice is quiet and sad. Then it’s dry and amused. “Now what am I freaking out about?”

“Well Jungkook and Taehyung either fucked on this couch or in our bed.”

Seokjin splutters. “What?”

“I vote we get revenge.”

“Yah, Kim Namjoon - “

“Race you to Taehyung’s room.”

“Kim Namjoon!”

Taehyung is late. He doesn’t show until they’re each digging into their burgers, and are a good two thirds into their second beers.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he gushes, sliding in next to Jungkook.

Jungkook winces when their hips collide. “Hyung,” he whines, rubbing the tender spot.

Taehyung laughs breathily and steals Jungkook’s beer, taking a gulp.

“Hyung.”

“Shh, Kookie, I’m thirsty.” Taehyung reaches for Jungkook’s burger next but Jungkook holds it out of reach and nods in Hoseok’s direction.

“Hoseok-hyung ordered for you,” Jungkook says, fending Taehyung off with his elbows. Hoseok slides it over and Taehyung thanks him, sauce dripping all down his wrists as he takes a bite. Jungkook nudges Taehyung. “Your nose is twitching,” he says quietly, and watches as Taehyung struggles to swallow his mouthful. “Everything ok?”

Taehyung looks at him for a moment. In the end he says nothing, and Jungkook sighs.

“You still good to take my shift tomorrow?” Jimin asks. He pulls a face and shoves napkins into Taehyung’s hands. “Fuck you’re gross.”

Taehyung smiles around a chewed up mouthful of burger, and the group collectively pretends to wretch as they groan and complain.

“Hyung.” Jungkook shoves Taehyung. “Fuck - just - yah, stop grinning!” He whacks Taehyung on the back - and Taehyung promptly chokes on his mouthful. He slams his burger down and pounds at his chest. Jungkook swears and hits him on the back a good few times. “You good?” he asks when Taehyung stops coughing and gagging. “Hyung?”

Taehyung’s eyes are damp - and depthless and dark and impossibly black when they swivel to look at Jungkook.

Jungkook pulls his hand back and clamps his jaw shut. He tenses and waits.

“Jeon Jungkook,” Taehyung says, voice curt, expression cold as fuck. He doesn’t raise his voice but it silences the group.

Jimin reacts first. “Fucking - “ He reaches across, snatches up Taehyung’s hand, and bends his finger so far back Jungkook is sure it’s about to snap.

Taehyung yelps. His hair is black is red is white is brown, and he rips his hand back and cradles it to his chest. “The fuck is your problem?” he snaps, glaring across the table at Jimin as he nurses his hand. “Jesus Christ, Jimin. You’re fucking Yoongi, not learning from him.”

Yoongi blinks at that. “Hey. Why am I in the firing line?”

“Your pet bitch was pulling on her leash,” Jimin says, resting his cheek in his hand.

Taehyung’s anger leaves him quickly and he pouts and avoids Jimin’s gaze.

“Hyung,” Jungkook says. “Just eat, yeah?”

“Not hungry,” Taehyung mutters, and Jungkook gets the distinct feeling that something is wrong, that something has just gone over his head again.

Seokjin sighs and calls Taehyung down to the end he and Namjoon are at. Taehyung’s head hangs as he grabs his burger and Jungkook’s beer and goes to join them. Jungkook watches him go, traces his eyes over the slump of Taehyung’s shoulders and the tension in his jaw. Jungkook looks back to his own burger. He’s kinda not hungry either now.

“It’s ok,” Hoseok says, offering Jungkook a smile. “He’s ok. He’s just really tired.”

“I’m not five, hyung,” Jungkook says, running a hand through his hair.

Yoongi snorts.

“Fuck off,” Jungkook tells him.

Jimin takes a sip from his beer then explains, “Taehyung doesn’t really like having certain points made.” He tries to sound sarcastic but Jungkook just thinks he sounds sad and guilty. “But no one - “

“Wants to deal with the Queen, yeah, I know.” Jungkook looks over at Taehyung. He’s whining at Namjoon - genuine, defensive whining that’ll border on anger and aggression soon, judging by the way Taehyung shakes Namjoon’s hand off his shoulder and shoves away his food. Seokjin worries at his lower lip then says - something. Whatever it is, Taehyung laughs, but Jungkook thinks this looks as sad and guilty as Jimin had sounded, even if Taehyung’s grin is wide and boxy. It fades quickly and Taehyung looks so fucking tired that Jungkook finds himself speaking before he’s aware of it.

“Taehyung’s health is connected to Wonderland, isn’t it.” It’s not even a question. Jungkook’s been thinking it for days now.

The other three have grown silent, and when Jungkook looks at them, they’re observing him closely.

“What… what do you mean?” Hoseok asks.

Jungkook looks at Taehyung again. He’s wincing and rubbing at his head. Seokjin has his fingers cuffed around Taehyung’s wrist, face twisted with concern. Namjoon - Namjoon knocks over his beer when he reaches to pat Taehyung on the head. This time, Taehyung’s laugh is genuine.

He turns back to Hoseok. “Hyung, is Taehyung sick because of Wonderland?”

“Um. Sort of…”

“Sort of?”

Hoseok rubs the back of his neck and avoids Jungkook’s gaze. “Taehyung isn’t - I mean, well, he is. He’s sick. Sort of. But he’s not sick. Per se.”

Even Yoongi is looking at Hoseok in bewilderment. “The fuck are you trying to say?”

Hoseok pulls a face. “You know what I’m trying to say!”

“No, I really don’t,” Jungkook says. “What - that made no sense. At all. Taehyung is sick but isn’t?”

“Yes,” Hoseok says. He manages a grin. “Taehyung is sick but he’s not the one who’s sick.”

Jungkook frowns and tries to make sense of it. “Is… Is Wonderland sick…?” Can Wonderland even be sick?

Hoseok worries at his lower lip and drops his gaze. He shuffles his feet. “Um.”

Jungkook can feel his lunch turning sour in his stomach as dread settles in. Phantom fingers, strengthened by panic, cling at his arms. “Someone fucking come out and say it.”

Realising that the other two aren’t going to do it, Jimin speaks up. “Look, Kook… Wonderland is dying.”

Jungkook feels the breath leave him. “But Taehyung said - “

“That he is Wonderland,” Hoseok mumbles quietly.

“So if Wonderland is dying - “

“Then Taehyung is dying too.”

Chapter Text

Jungkook tries but he can’t look at Taehyung the same. Taehyung catches him staring more than once - staring at Taehyung, staring into the middle-distance, thoughts lost who knows where.

Taehyung is dying and Jungkook’s not supposed to know.

Jimin’s instructions had been clear: if he wants you to know, he’ll tell you. For now, pretend you don’t.

Yeah. Easier said than done.

At least dots are beginning to connect - dots that Jungkook was already drawing lines between, if he’s being honest. Wonderland’s stability and Taehyung’s health have a direct correlation, and for some reason or another, Wonderland is dying. The fevers, the dizzy spells, the black outs  - they all make sense.

Jungkook wishes they didn’t.

Taehyung is laughing when Jungkook snaps out of it. They’re in the cafe, both attempting to work through an assessment. The noise of the cafe bleeds back into Jungkook’s awareness and he blinks, looking around. Fuck, he zoned out good and well just then.

“Yah,” Taehyung whines, kicking Jungkook under the table. “Are you even listening to me?”

Jungkook winces and rubs his shin. “Sorry, hyung.”

“Seriously, Kook. What’s going on? Is everything ok?”

Jungkook stares at Taehyung - at the genuine concern in brown eyes, at the pressure his teeth are applying to his lower lip, at the furrow in his brow - until he can’t look anymore for fear of letting it all out. A heavy block of emotion forms in his throat and he looks away, nodding. “Yeah, hyung,” he manages, fingers shaking as they pick up his pencil and pretend to scribble down some notes on his assessment sheet. “Everything’s fine.”

Jimin joins them on their weekly hang out at Taehyung’s shift. Taehyung chatters away to him happily from behind the counter, rearranging the packets of gum by logo attractiveness. Jungkook hovers a good three feet away, arms folded over his chest. His eyes keep drifting over the scuffed tiles, struggling to focus on Jimin or Taehyung for long.

When Jimin does manage to catch Jungkook’s wandering gaze, he shoots him a pointed look. Get it together, he can’t know.

Each time, Jungkook shies away, shoulders hunching as he retreats a little further from Taehyung.

Jimin rolls his eyes and grits his teeth. When he can’t take it any longer, he finds some excuse to pull Jungkook away and drags him between the aisles furthest from Taehyung.

“Hey, you good?”

Jungkook avoids his gaze and shrugs.

“Jungkook, I’m serious. Are you ok?” Jimin watches as Jungkook sway his weight side to side like a child, lips pursed. Jimin sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I’m going to take that as a no. Look, I know it’s hard - “

Jungkook’s eyes finally flash up to meet his own. “Hard?”

“Kook - “

“Hard, hyung? It’s fucking impossible.” Jungkook’s voice is a hiss. His hands fall by his side and he leers closer, baring his clenched teeth. “Taehyung is - is - and I can’t even - “

Jimin raises his hands and takes a step back. “I know. I know. I’m sorry.” Jimin’s eyes widen when he sees Jungkook’s eyes going watery. “Hey, hey, Kook…”

Jungkook’s chin dimples and his lower lip quivers, but he manages to scoff at himself and lift his gaze to the ceiling. “Fuck.” He swipes a hand over his eyes, shoulders shaking. “Fuck.”

Jimin’s own heart twists. His throat grows tight and his nose begins to sting, threatening his own onslaught of tears. He swallows and bites his lower lip, knowing just how hard Jungkook is taking it.

“Jiminie…”

“Jiminie? Get fucked, Yoongi-hyung called me Jiminie. Oi, Seokjin-hyung, did you hear that?”

“Jiminie, I’m serious. You need to listen to me. It’s about Tae.”

Jimin breathes in through his nose and shakes his head. “C’mere,” he mumbles, opening his arms and throwing them around Jungkook. Jungkook doesn’t even whine in protest or try to wriggle out of it. He drops his head to Jimin’s shoulder and lets Jimin sway them back and forth as he squeezes Jungkook to him tightly and whispers ‘I know’s and ‘I’m sorry’s.

Jungkook sniffles then laughs. It’s weak and watery. “Yah, hyung, you’re so short. My neck is getting sore trying to reach your shoulders. They’re so low.”

Jimin manages his own laugh. “Shut up, you brat.” He puts his hands on Jungkook’s shoulders and pulls back to look at him. His cheeks are dry but his eyes are rimmed red and his skin is pale. He makes up his mind. “Look, don’t cry, ok? There’s - “

There’s a loud series of clanging and banging from the front counter. Jimin exchanges glances with Jungkook and then they’re both running to the other end of the store, calling for Taehyung.

Jimin slams his hands down on the counter and leans over it to see. Taehyung is down on his ass, legs sprawled, weight on his hands. The gum display rack is on the ground next to him. Jimin leans further forward, trying to check if Taehyung is ok. “Tae?”

Taehyung lifts his head and blinks at them with wide pink eyes. White bleeds into his hair until it has reached the very tips.

Jimin blinks back at him then sighs and cups his forehead. “Ah, fuck.”

Jungkook looks between Taehyung and Jimin with wide eyes. “Fuck?” Jimin is looking about the store like he’s trying to come up with a solution so Jungkook looks back to Taehyung. Pink eyes blink back at him. “Rabbit.”

“J-Jungkook?”

“Well, you two are acquainted, great,” Jimin mutters. His eyes go wide and he flails his hands. “N-No, don’t get up! I said don’t - “

The Rabbit gets to his feet shakily - and immediately careens sideways. He manages to catch himself on the counter with one hand. Jungkook watches with wide eyes, is about to scale the counter to help, when white hair turns red and blue eyes with pupils blown wide swivel to look at him.

“Jeon Jungkook.”

Jimin’s hand latches onto Jungkook’s wrist before he can retreat, and Jungkook curses that his first reaction is to run away from the Hatter. “Stay, stay,” Jimin says, pulling Jungkook back in place. “It’s safe. Just give it a - “

Blue eyes roll back into the Hatter’s skull and his legs threaten to give way. His hair turns shades of midnight and when his eyes refocus, they’re black as night. The small mole on Taehyung’s nose begins to shift between Suits. The Queen raises a brow at them.

“Fuck, ok, now you can be nervous,” Jimin says, and Jungkook gives Jimin an incredulous look and just what the fuck is going on? “Taehyung. Hey, Tae, you hear me?”

The question has Jungkook looking back at the Queen with wide eyes. What does he mean Tae can you hear me? Jungkook chokes out Taehyung’s name and wriggles his wrist free of Jimin’s hold. He clears his throat and calls again.

Now it’s yellow cat eyes that stare at him. Jungkook breathes a short sigh. “Cat. Hey, Cat, where’s Tae?”

Th Cat grins at him. “He’s coming, Jungkookie.”

“Fuck,” Jimin says again. “Fuck, no, wait. Cat, wait -”

Taehyung is Taehyung again. He gasps for air and grasps at the counter with shaky hands. His palms slip and he crashes to his knees. “J-Jungkook - “ His hair turns blue but the Caterpillar is only there for a few seconds before his hair is white and his eyes are pink and the Rabbit is kneeling there whimpering and then it’s Taehyung again, sobbing for air on all fours, lashes wet with tears.

“Fuck,” Jimin says for what Jungkook is sure the billionth time in the past two minutes and he wants to make a comment about the Yoongi-effect but now is not the time for his mouth to do a nervous runabout. “Fuck, get him up.”

Jungkook is already moving. Taehyung clenches his teeth and groans and his hair turns red then lilac then shades of midnight then brown and his arms give out and he’s lying on the floor, just short of crying. Jungkook gathers him up and jams their hips together and gets him to his feet as his hair changes colour again and again and again and he can sense they’re all distressed - but it’s Taehyung damn near sobbing into the crook of Jungkook’s neck that gives Jungkook the strength to hoist Taehyung into the back of the store.

Jimin is waiting by the door to the backroom and he ushers them in, then follows and closes the door. Jungkook lets Taehyung go when he shoves away violently. He staggers across the room, knocking over stock and crashing into shelves. Jungkook watches with wide eyes. Beside him, Jimin is grim, arms folded over his chest.

When Jungkook spots red hair, he lashes out and grabs the Hatter by the wrist. “Hatter!” The transformations stall and the Hatter looks at him with wide, wide eyes. His pupils dance wildly before they focus on Jungkook. “Hatter, it’s Jungkook. What’s going on?”

He manages a shaky smile. “Nothing to be concerned about. Just a slight identity crisis.”

Jungkook frowns, grip loosening slightly. Those words… “Identity crisis?”

Taehyung throws Jungkook’s hand off of him and retreats backwards. He cups his hands over his mouth, smothering terrified sobbing breaths, and stares at the ground with wide brown eyes, still tracking backwards. Jungkook begins to follow but Jimin calls his name and he stops. Taehyung is the Rabbit is the Cat is the Queen is Taehyung is the Hatter is the Caterpillar is Taehyung is the Cat is the Hatter is Taehyung is the Rabbit is Taehyung is Taehyung is - Jungkook’s eyes widen.

“Tae…”

Jimin steps forward. “Hey, Tae. You - you good?”

It takes Taehyung a moment to compose himself. He drags in loud gulps of air, one hand held to his chest, the other clutching at the wall for balance. Finally, he laughs, and lifts watery eyes to look at them. Tears have streaked down his cheeks. The last of them drip from his chin. “Well, that went well.”

“Well?” Jungkook demands, the word blurting out of him. “Taehyung - “

“I’m standing, aren’t I?”

Jungkook stares at him then whips his head in Jimin’s direction, seeking - something. Confirmation?

Jimin gives it to him with a sigh and a tired nod. “Yeah, he’s not kidding. He’s conscious too. I think it’s actually a first.”

The fuck what the fuck the fuck is with - “The fuck?” Jungkook rakes his fingers back through his hair. “The actual fuck just happened?”

Jimin makes to answer then looks in the direction of the store. He holds a hand up for quiet and then they can all hear someone calling from the store, asking if anyone’s around. Jimin is already opening the door when he says, “I’ll go.”

Jungkook waits until the door is closed again before addressing Taehyung. “Hyung, the fuck just happened?” Jungkook clenches a fist in his hair and sinks down to sit on some boxes. They collapse a little under his weight. “I don’t… You were so…”

“Not me?” Taehyung jokes.

“Terrified.”

Taehyung’s expression falls and then so does his gaze. “Sorry. That you, you know, had to see that.” He twists his fingers together and purses his lips. “I don’t really know what happens. Wonderland just sort of freaks out and then we’re all - thrown together.”

Jungkook watches Taehyung, feeling exhausted and too old and then there’s a voice whispering in his mind, reminding him that, hey, Wonderland is probably freaking out because Wonderland is fucking dy- Jungkook closes his eyes. “Does it happen often?”

“Nah,” Taehyung says quietly. “It’s just a brief identity crisis, that’s all.”

Jungkook opens his eyes to see Taehyung offering him a small smile and Jungkook suddenly remembers where he’s heard the phrase. “That’s what you meant that night.”

“Yeah.” Taehyung looks to have an internal argument with himself. “It’s - I mean, I - “ He huffs out a breath and roughs up his hair. “We’re all forced into the one body, the one mind, together. Suddenly, without warning, y’know? And it’s - we’re all - confused. And - and - “

“Terrified,” Jungkook offers, voice hollow. His gaze drifts off and focuses on nothing.

“Yeah. Terrified.” Taehyung swallows and rubs at his eyes. “Um. Yeah.” He licks his lips and bows his head. “Sorry.”

“Fuck, Tae,” Jungkook says, rubbing at his own eyes. “You don’t have to apologise. Just - I said I want to help. Just tell me how.”

“You already do. I just don’t know how. But you do.”

Jungkook covers his face with his hands.

“So, um, yeah, we’re all forced together and then Wonderland sort of - picks us? Elects us? I dunno. Wonderland thinks the solution is out here somewhere and - I really don’t know what happens but there’s just too many minds in my mind and too many bodies in my body and it’s so fucking scary and I don’t know who I am or where I end and they begin and it hurts fuck it hurts and - “ Taehyung sucks in a breath, slows himself down, and keeps going. “It’s ok, though. We’re all as scared as each other. And - “

When Taehyung goes quiet, Jungkook hardly notices. His thoughts have become static. Taehyung’s hand, warm and timid on his upper arm, stirs him. The other is looking at him through pensive brown eyes, head tilted, brown hair curling over his forehead from sweat. His gaze flitters over Jungkook’s face and he smiles slowly. Jungkook waits for his dark eyes to turn blue, if only to rid them of that sadness.

“They told you.”

It’s not even a question. Jungkook averts his gaze and rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands. “Yeah,” he says, voice quiet. Still, it breaks the silence falling over them and Taehyung’s fingers curl around his arm tightly before letting go.

“Oh.” His grip lands on Jungkook’s shoulder this time. “Well,” and at the cheer in his voice, Jungkook looks at him. “Don’t worry, Kookie. Everything is fine.” The words are a purr but they rattle Jungkook’s ribcage violently because everything is not fine.

“Hyung,” he croaks, levelling his gaze on Taehyung. “You’re dying.”

Taehyung’s smile won’t reach his eyes, no matter how much it twitches at his cheeks, trying to climb. “Kookie - “

“Tae, please, just be - “ He hisses out a breath when dark eyes turn yellow, pupils slitting. He takes Taehyung’s wrist, feels the bones under the skin and knows he is holding on too tight and possibly hurting the other. “No, don’t avoid this.”

The Cheshire Cat smiles wider and wider, in that freaky impossible way that he does. “But Kookie,” he says, and this time his voice is a literal purr. “There’s nothing to avoid. Nothing to discuss.”

Jungkook remembers back to lunch last weekend, the way Taehyung flitted between characters when he was in pain. He tries it now, not feeling the least bit guilty as he squeezes Taehyung’s wrist tight enough that the other emits a gasp. His hair turns lilac as the Cheshire Cat comes out fully. He squeezes again. The red of the Mad Hatter. Another squeeze. The mole on his nose dances between suits and his hair turns shades of midnight. A final squeeze brings Taehyung back to him.

Jungkook lets go.

Taehyung cradles his wrist to his chest and massages it carefully. He looks down to his wrist. “My skin bruises nicely. I’ll show you tomorrow. It’ll be a pretty purple bracelet.” He smiles at Jungkook.

“You’re dying, hyung.”

Taehyung hums. “Specifically, Wonderland is dying.”

“You are Wonderland.”

One of the many lights behind Taehyung’s eyes flickers off. His gaze drifts. “Yes,” he murmurs at last. “And Wonderland has lost its Alice.” Taehyung swallows thickly and looks to Jungkook again. Jungkook falters. This time when he reaches for Taehyung’s wrist, it’s to soothe. He rubs his thumb over it gently, massages bone with soft sweeps, and encourages Taehyung to continue.

“You’ve lost Alice,” he says quietly. He’s not 100% sure what that means - he knows the story but Taehyung is all of Wonderland. Who knows what or who constitutes an Alice.

Taehyung nods and looks down at Jungkook’s hold on his wrist. “I’ve lost Alice.” He wriggles his wrist free. Jungkook watches Taehyung close off to him, watches the veils come down. This pain goes so much deeper than Taehyung’s previous mystery. “And I can’t find her.”

Jimin takes the initiative that night. He rocks up at Jungkook’s dorm room, with Taehyung standing behind him, and demands Jungkook have himself ready to go out in 15 minutes.

“Where you headed?” Yoongi asks from where he’s lying on the bed, flicking through some research notes for an essay.

“Some party some chick is throwing at some house,” Jimin answers. He smacks Taehyung’s hands away from where they keep playing with the zipper on his jacket, and Taehyung pouts, nose twitching. “You coming?”

Yoongi shrugs. “Maybe later.”

“Whatever. Oi, Kook, you almost done?”

Jungkook huffs out a breath and glares in Jimin’s direction. His expression softens when he notices Taehyung standing behind Jimin, swaying side to side as he gazes over the room. “Yeah, yeah, I’m getting there, hang on.” He wants to get Taehyung alone and try talk to him again about - about what happened at the store. Taehyung had gone back to his shift and completed it on autopilot, dodging any and all questions Jimin and Jungkook had for him - which ranged from ‘are you ok?’ to ‘which is better: kimchi jjigae or kimchi jeon?’.

Taehyung catches him staring, brown eyes flickering up from the carpet to meet Jungkook’s gaze head on. He twists his fingers in his shirt and gives Jungkook a small smile - then a pointed look at where Jungkook has awkwardly stopped halfway up his thighs in an effort to get his jeans on.

Jungkook splutters and hurries to finish getting dressed. Jimin and Yoongi both snort at him but Taehyung’s quiet laugh is appreciated, and when Jungkook looks again, Taehyung looks a little less tired and a little more like Taehyung.

They make it to the party half an hour later. Jungkook barely recognises anyone in the crowd, but Jimin pulls them both forward and into the kitchen. He greets someone and then beers are being thrust into their hands and they’re being sent on their merry way. Everyone’s clustered in the living room and the space is too small - there’s bodies on bodies on bodies. Jimin jumps in front to lead them, with Jungkook coming up second. He reaches back for Taehyung’s hand and pulls him along.

Taehyung squeezes and tugs, bringing them to a stop. Jungkook looks back at him and Taehyung jerks his head left.

“Seokjin and Namjoon are here,” he says over the noise of people screaming and laughing and the godawful music that the DJ is playing. “Come on. Grab Jimin.”

Taehyung isn’t lying. It’s Seokjin who spots them first. He smiles at them and whacks Namjoon on the shoulder to get his attention - then smoothly steps back when Namjoon turns too fast and half his drink sloshes onto the floor.

“Hey,” Namjoon says, grinning at them as he spreads his arms wide. More of his drink sloshes onto the floor. “Didn’t know you lot were coming.”

“Neither did we,” Jungkook says, dropping down onto the couch. Taehyung plops down next to him. “Jimin rocked up at mine less than an hour ago and demanded I get dressed.”

Jimin raises a brow and tilts his cup in Jungkook’s direction. “And are you regretting it so far?”

“I’m not not regretting it,” Jungkook admits. “But - “

“We need to hurry up and drink,” Taehyung says before chugging his drink and reaching for Jungkook’s. He meets Jungkook’s gaze and smirks. “Shots, anyone?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and lets Taehyung steal his beer. He watches as Taehyung drinks it too fast and some of it rolls down his chin. Taehyung licks his lips and drags the back of his hand over his mouth, then grabs Jungkook, demands everyone follow, and drags them off in search of shots.

He doesn’t disappoint.

Jungkook stares at the shot glass in his hand. How the fuck did Taehyung find fucking fireball whiskey?

“Oi, Kook, hurry it up,” Namjoon says.

Jungkook sighs and lifts his glass to join the others. They cheers then down the shot, each wincing at the burn of the cinnamon. Jungkook swears and pinches his nose because shit it tastes good but it tastes so fucking awful at the same time and fuck no Jimin is not thrusting another one into his hands and fuck ok Seokjin has ditched the mother hen routine tonight because he’s guiding the shot to Jungkook’s mouth and then they’re all cheering when Jungkook takes it down.

He coughs and rubs at his mouth. “Fuck, aren’t you supposed to space fireballs out a bit?”

Taehyung looks at him from where he’s pouring their third round. His hair throws shades of red. “Anytime is tea time, Jungkookie.”

“Pretty sure this is a lot more potent then tea,” Jungkook mutters - but then Taehyung is smiling at him and holding out the next shot and Jungkook’s insides are doing that funny unbearable thing they do whenever there’s alcohol in his system and Taehyung’s about so he sucks it up and takes the shot.

The night spirals on and on and on. Jungkook finds himself with a hand to his head or steadying himself up against the wall more than once. And it’s not his fault. No it’s Taehyung’s fault. Taehyung, who Jungkook can’t say no to. Taehyung, who keeps dragging them all aside for more drinks, more shots. Taehyung, who avoids Jungkook’s drunken attempts at trying to have a serious conversation with him by, again, insisting Jungkook drink more.

Jungkook groans and sinks against the wall. Beside him, Jimin laughs and claps him on the shoulder.

“How you doing, Kookie?”

Jungkook groans again. “Taehyung - Taehyung is evil.”

“You mean you haven’t realised before now?”

“Tonight he’s especially bad,”Jungkook mutters. He shimmies up the wall so he’s standing straight, then he swirls the beer in his cup and takes a drink - and regrets it near immediately. He swears and runs a hand over his face, begging his stomach to just settle. He needs water. And ramen. He peeks out from behind his fingers at the party. He’s lost Taehyung somewhere. The thought stirs - stirs something. “Hey, hyung…”

“Yeah, Kook?”

Jungkook’s hand falls away from his face and his gaze drops to the carpet. He shuffles his feet and nurses his drink against his chest. The words, when he finally gets them out around the drunken lump of emotion in his throat, are soft. “I don’t want him to die…”

Jimin’s breath hitches before he sighs it out. “Jungkookie…”

Jungkook swallows and sucks on his teeth, suddenly feeling tiny and childish. He laughs at himself when he realises the first person he wants to seek out for comfort is Kim Taehyung. “I think I really like him, hyung. And I don’t want him to die.” His voice cracks and Jungkook glares at the beer in his hands. Fuck. Drunk thoughts sober words. Fuck.

Jimin is silent beside him, and just when Jungkook begins to curse his stupid drunkenness and his stupid mouth and his stupid awkwardness, Jimin sighs.

“There’s hope,” Jimin says. “After all, Neverland lost its Peter Pan once upon a time. But they found each other again.”

It takes Jungkook a moment to realise there’s significance in the way Jimin is casting his gaze across the crowded room to look at Seokjin and Namjoon. He almost starts flailing because wait what?

“Seokjin and Namjoon? Are - they’re -“ Drunken brain cannot compute. Cannot fucking compute. “The fuck is with you lot and fairytales?”

Jimin snorts and redirects his gaze to look at Jungkook. He takes a swig from his cup, downing the rest of its contents before dragging the back of his wrist over his lips. “Calm down, Kook. I said once upon a time.”

“You mean - “

“They’re not Peter Pan and Neverland anymore. They’re just plain old Seokjiin and Namjoon.”

Jungkook nods slowly. Drunken brain still cannot compute. Still cannot fucking compute. “Still. The fairytales.”

“I don’t understand it either. Seokjin and Namjoon had already had their roundabout adventure by the time they met Tae.”

Jungkook finds himself nodding again. He looks at Seokjin and Namjoon. Is that why Seokjin looks so youthful? But then Namjoon definitely seems to be the more spirited of the two. Who was who, Jungkook wonders. He feels Jimin’s gaze on the side of his face, waiting patiently for him to figure it out.

And when Jungkook does figure it out, his grip slips on the condensation on his beer and he scrabbles to catch it. “Wait,” he says, breathless with the realisation. “Wait, wait. Hyung - Jimin. Are you - Taehyung. Taehyung is Wonderland. Does that mean - are you saying - “

Jimin raises a brow. “A full sentence would be nice. Use your words, Kookie,” he coos.

Jungkook would shove him but his mind is still reeling at the possibility. His eyes are tearing through the crowd, trying to find where Taehyung’s disappeared to. “Hyung, was - was Neverland dying?”

“Yes.”

Jungkook’s gaze skips over the group playing beer pong -

“Because it lost its Peter Pan.”

- past the girls collapsing onto the couch in a fit of giggles -

“Yes.”

“But - but it found Peter Pan. And now Neverland lives.”

“Yes.”

- around the two guys marching into the room, crowing loudly as they hold two more cases of beer over their heads -

“Taehyung is Wonderland. Wonderland is dying. Wonderland has lost its Alice. So if Wonderland finds its Alice - “

- tears through the people dancing in the centre of the room, bodies writhing on bodies in the dim light. There he finds Taehyung, boxy grin wide, cheeks flushed, eyes hazy, cup held to the ceiling as he moves - like magic and wonder and sin - against the bodies surrounding him.

Jungkook’s breath leaves him. “Then Taehyung will live.”

Chapter Text

Jungkook starts with the movies. He watches them on a loop for a good week, until Yoongi is threatening to drop Jungkook’s laptop out of the window because he can fucking quote them all. So then he bothers to plug in his headphones and watch them on a loop again, taking notes, trying to find the answers.

Alice, Alice, Alice, how do we find you?

(Tell me, tell me, how do I save him?)

He’s not stupid, he reasons with himself as he heads to the library a few days later. He’s just a smart university student who realises that if you have to read the book and there’s a movie, you watch the movie. Even if the important shit is usually stuffed between the covers of the book.

Yeah.

That’s why it’s taken him so long to think of checking out the original Alice in Wonderland.

He combs the shelves, fingers dragging over the spines until he finds what he wants. He puffs out his cheeks. There’s varying versions. He pulls the Disney picture book out hesitantly and flips it open - then scolds himself and quickly puts it back. He’s going to have to face facts. If he wants to be serious about this, he needs the original Lewis Carroll version.

He finds an annotated version, a collection of Lewis Carroll’s work, and a standard Alice in Wonderland novel. He stacks them on top of each other in his hands then goes to check them out.

He runs into Taehyung on the way - quite literally. He’s rounding the corner, neck craned to try read the blurb of the book at the bottom of the stack, and he slams right into Taehyung.

Taehyung laughs and steadies the books and Jungkook. “Kookie, didn’t you hear me calling?”

“Hyung,” Jungkook says, and suddenly he has the strange urge to try cover the books from Taehyung’s line of sight.

He considers this too late, however, and Taehyung’s eyes trace over the titles. Slowly, he starts to frown. Jungkook almost mimics it. The expression on Taehyung’s face is… strange. He lifts his gaze slowly to meet Jungkook’s but it’s oddly closed off. There’s tension between them and it’s something Jungkook isn’t used to and it makes his stomach roll.

“Uh, anyway, sorry, hyung,” he says, words falling out of him as he tries to look anywhere but at Taehyung because why that face I don’t understand hyung. “I - I gotta get these back to my room and grab my shit and head to class.”

Taehyung nods, somewhat jerky. His eyes are on the carpet and Jungkook’s not even sure Taehyung is listening to him, but he prattles on anyway.

“So, uh, I’ll catch you later? Yeah, later. Um.” Jungkook’s gotten past Taehyung now and he starts to walk backwards. “So, yeah, see ya, hyung.”

Jungkook hurries off. As he checks the books out, he scans the library for Taehyung. He finds him sitting between Hoseok and someone he doesn’t recognise. Taehyung still has that strange expression on his face, gaze trained on the desk. His books are closed, laptop unopened, and Hoseok and the other guy laugh and talk over Taehyung.

Jungkook gathers up his books and mumbles a thank you to the librarian. His eyes stay locked on Taehyung and something sad and sour fills his mouth.

Has no one tried to save you, hyung?

When he wakes in Wonderland, he’s expecting it. Well, he’s been expecting it for weeks now, even before he knew who Taehyung is, but this time it’s different. This time he’s got a fucking goal in mind - something that doesn’t include wandering around aimlessly and exploring because he can until Wonderland violently ejects him.

And Jungkook actually makes a proper effort to get to know Wonderland. He starts with the Cat.

He walks into the deepest part of the woods and calls for him, stepping over roots and crushing leaves underfoot as he shouts for him. He starts to trek back and forth because curiously the Cat hasn’t appeared yet. Jungkook grits his teeth.

“Yah, Cat, fucking hell!” he shouts, coming to a stop. “I need to speak to you!”

Finally, there’s a familiar chuckle and he appears - smile first, always smile first. He grins down at Jungkook from his branch and swings his legs. “Jungkookie,” he greets, sing-songy as ever. “No need to shout.”

Jungkook huffs out a breath and looks up at him. His lilac hair is a fluffy mess. “I’ve been calling.”

The Cat raises his brows and purses his lips, trying not to grin. “I know. I heard.”

“…You’re a fucking pain in the ass, you know that?”

The Cat laughs, yellow eyes scrunching closed. “How can I help you today, Jungkookie?” he purrs. “Wonderland is quite calm so far, so what other problem ails you.”

Jungkook shrugs. “Just wanna chat.”

“Chat.”

“Yes. Chat.”

“A Cat Chat.”

Jungkook lifts his hands like he can’t deal with this because fuck he knows the Cat well enough by now and this is going to go in circles. “Fine. Yes. A Cat Chat. Whatever the fuck you wanna call it. Gonna come down or am I coming up?”

The Cat blinks in surprise. “Coming up?”

“Yes, coming up.”

“Up here?”

Jungkook bites back a sigh. “Yes, up there.”

“In this tree.”

“Yup. That fucking tree.”

“With me?”

“Fucking - yes, Cat. Up there, in that tree, with you.”

The Cat purses his lips and nods thoughtfully. Then: “On this branch?”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

Jungkook does eventually make it up into the canopy branches. He sits himself down next to the Cat, who blinks at Jungkook with bright inquisitive eyes and tilts his head and examines Jungkook and then - smiles. Not his usual demented shit-eating grin. Something slow and easy and - happy, Jungkook realises. Genuinely happy.

It becomes habit, to climb up into the branches with the Cat, or to wander across the fallen leaves and uneven roots as the Cat happily leaps from tree to tree above him, prattling on about one thing or another.

Taehyung notices the changes too - and Jungkook sees the change in Taehyung. The Cat presses forward more than usual, turning Taehyung’s eyes bright yellow as he grins too wide and sings Jungkook’s name. He’s always gone as quick as he comes, leaving Taehyung startled and dazed, blinking owlishly at Jungkook.

“Hey,” Jungkook says through a chuckle, taking Taehyung’s arm to steady him.

“Hey,” Taehyung echoes. He smiles, looking less tired than usual. “The Cat is being awfully… cat-like.”

Jungkook just shrugs - and doesn’t mention how at night, when he wanders Wonderland with the Cat, the Cat is becoming more Taehyung-like. And Jungkook’s not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

The Rabbit - soft, sweet, shy Rabbit - is easily charmed. Jungkook visits him for tea often, or to help repair the damage to the house. There’s a lot of nose twitching and eye lowering and lip biting, and Jungkook has to physically hold himself back from taking the Rabbit’s fingers and squeezing them, because the way he anxiously twists his fingers makes Jungkook’s chest ache because fuck he struggles to seperate Taehyung and the Rabbit.

He doesn’t know why.

But the Rabbit gets under his skin and weasels into his heart much faster than the others.

And maybe, Jungkook thinks to himself, heart hammering in his chest when Taehyung - all sorts of tired - slumps backwards, eyes rolling into his head.

Maybe -

Jungkook manages to get one hand around Taehyung’s wrist and an arm under Taehyung’s shoulders before he topples off the stool. Taehyung’s head lolls in the crook of his elbow, lips parted, brow furrowed.

Maybe -

“Yo, Tae, is Jungkook - “ Namjoon and Seokjin appear in the kitchen and Namjoon stops talking.

Jungkook looks up at them. “He’s ok,” he says, voice hoarse. “He was up all night with an assignment and the Cat’s been a pain.”

Maybe -

“Let me guess,” Namjoon says as he and Seokjin help to sit Taehyung back on the stool. They prop his weight up against Jungkook. “Wants to play?”

“Real fucking bad.”

“Yeah he doesn’t much like it when Taehyung gets too focused on something that isn’t Wonderland. So he steals Taehyung occasionally.”

Maybe -

Jungkook shifts so that Taehyung’s hair isn’t tickling at his chin. He frowns. “Steals Taehyung?”

“Yeah,” Seokjin says. He stands with both hands braced on the bench, gaze focused on Taehyung. Seokjin looks distinctly less concerned than the few other times Jungkook’s seen Taehyung completely black out and that calms him a little - a lot, actually. “If Taehyungie won’t let him out to play, the Cat drags him in.”

Jungkook - struggles to make much sense of that but he thinks he gets it. He nods, eyes drifting to Taehyung. Namjoon offers to help Jungkook get Taehyung to bed, whilst Seokjin ducks away to get Taehyung’s bed ready for them.

Maybe -

Jungkook blinks. The thought is gone.

Jungkook scolds the Cat the next day. They’re seated at the Hatter’s tea party, which has relocated itself deep inside the forest for some goddamn reason.

“The Twins,” the Hatter says.

And that’s all he says.

“Jungkookie,” the Cat says. “I just wanted to play.”

“Fucking - I’ll play with you, you brat.”

“You weren’t here.”

“You literally had to wait like two more hours, if that.”

The Hatter is pouring them tea and mocks the Cat when he replies with, “yeah but I wanted to play then, not later.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and shoves the Cat away from him. He’s been draping himself more and more over Jungkook in order to try placate him. The Cat grins wickedly and laughs, rocking back onto the hind legs of his chair.

Jungkook takes an angry bite from his cupcake and feels the Hatter’s startled gaze on him.

The Cat and the Rabbit aren’t the only one he needs to get close to, Jungkook had reasoned with himself a few nights ago.

He hesitates but takes the teacup and sips from it. When he sets it down, the Hatter is frozen in exaggerated shock. He stares with wide blue eyes and parted lips. The cup he was pouring has long overflowed onto the table but he keeps the teapot at a tilt and keeps pouring.

Jungkook takes another sip. It tastes - it tastes -

The Hatter seems to realise the puddle of tea soaking into the table cloth. He grabs the offending teacup and throws it into the trees behind him. He chances another look at Jungkook then slowly raises the teapot, silently asking if Jungkook wants a top up.

Jungkook holds his cup out for more.

“What does the tea taste like, Kookie?”

Jungkook frowns and looks up from his textbook. Taehyung is crouched in front of the ramen. He’s decided they need to be appropriately sorted again, but now he’s staring into space with slumped shoulders. His voice is soft.

“Tae?” Jungkook calls quietly, setting his textbook aside. It almost feels like deja vu, and Jungkook waits for Taehyung’s voice to cut out, for him to clutch at the shelves for balance like last time.

Taehyung hangs his head and starts to peel the packaging off the ramen cup in his hands. “The Hatter’s tea. What does it taste like?”

“Um, well.”

And suddenly Taehyung is back to life. He pouts at Jungkook over his shoulder. “Because every time I’ve tasted it, I can’t figure it out. And he won’t tell me. Me. I let his homeland fucking hijack me and he won’t even tell me.”

Jungkook blinks at Taehyung. “…You’re insane.”

“Yah.” Taehyung throws the cup ramen at him. Jungkook deflects it with the side of his palm. “I’m serious. What does it taste like?”

“I don’t know, hyung.”

“Great. One minute you’re terrified of the Hatter and the next you’re teaming up with him.” Taehyung pulls a face and crawls after the cup ramen, which is rolling away towards the door.

Jungkook raises a brow as he watches him go. “I haven’t teamed up with him. I honestly don’t know. I can never tell.”

Taehyung crouches by the door now, cup ramen safely back in his hands. He frowns at Jungkook. “Seriously?”

“Yah, hyung, just - sit fucking normally would you, you loser.”

The cup ramen comes flying at him again.

Jungkook goes to sleep on Friday night with the intention of finding out what the Hatter’s tea tastes like. Now that Taehyung’s brought it up, Jungkook can’t stop wondering, and it’s slowly driving him insane.

Except when he wakes in Wonderland, it’s not one of his usual haunts. He looks about him warily. Tall rosebushes surround him, boxing him in. He’s in the middle of the maze - quite literally. The walls box him into a courtyard. The roses around him are red, not the bright clean white on the maze’s outer edges. There’s a few topiary pieces here and there, a giant chessboard cut into the grass, and some white lounge chairs. Staring at the chess pieces for a moment, Jungkook realises the fucking things are alive. Their eyes are what is becoming a familiar inky black.

The Queen stands by the chessboard, hand placed on top of the white knight. Impossibly dark eyes stare at Jungkook calmly and coldly, whilst hair the shade of midnight casts shadows over the rest of the Queen’s face.

Jungkook breathes slowly, weighing his options as he stares the Queen down. More than ever, he reminds himself that this is not Taehyung, not Taehyung, not Taehyung.

Taehyung has never screamed dangerous like he does now.

A few feet behind the Queen stands the Aces. They too stare at Jungkook, inky eyes unblinking, faces impassive. They stand with their spears by their sides, points held towards the sky. Jungkook doesn’t care to find out how quickly they can change their grip on it and hurl it his way.

His gaze flickers to the Queen again - not Taehyung not Taehyung not Taehyung but fuck there’s something about the way the Queen carries himself - herself? - that has Jungkook’s stomach twisting in all sorts of ways. He can’t stop staring - both out of fear and wariness, and absolute fucking wonder.

One of the Aces shifts - the Ace of Spades - and Jungkook’s gaze darts to it. He takes a nervous instinctive step back - and freezes. There’s an almost inaudible snap. Jungkook glances down and swallows thickly. A crushed rose lies under his foot. He lifts his gaze again.

The Queen’s gaze takes the same path his just did. The Queen stares at the crushed flower then looks at Jungkook and raises a slow brow. There’s something brewing in dark, dark eyes though, and Jungkook takes another step back, and another, and another.

The Queen’s jaw tenses and anger sharpens his gaze.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Jungkook doesn’t fucking want to stick around to see what happens when the Queen loses it. He bolts for it, tearing across the courtyard and throwing himself into the maze just as the Queen tips his head back and screams.

He runs, taking whatever turns come up. He can fucking figure out where he is and find a way out later. For now, he just needs to put as much distance between himself and “off with his fucking head” as he can manage. The alarm is blaring and he knows he’ll have the Suits on him all too soon.

He comes to a dead end and hisses at himself. He stares at the wall, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He either runs back and tries to find another way or - or - he holds his breath and barrels through the wall. He’s never tried without the Hatter and the occasional thorn tears at his skin but he bursts through the other side mostly unscathed, the roses having let him pass - and he’s thrown himself right into the sights of a bunch of Suits.

They’re low ranking cards, a bunch of Twos and Threes. They blink at him, paintbrushes in hand. Red paint drips from the bristles and off the petals of the freshly painted roses.

“Fuck,” Jungkook says, eyeing up the nearest escape - right by the Suits. Of fucking course. “Fuck, Taehyung, I’m demanding a map tomorrow morning I swear to fucking god.”

One of the Suits - the Three of Clubs - steps forward.

Jungkook edges a step back.

The Three of Clubs comes to a nervous stop and purses his lips. Slowly, he holds the paintbrush out to Jungkook.

Jungkook stares at it, then frowns at the Three of Clubs. His inky eyes looking oddly unsure and - and shy, if Jungkook is being honest. But he recognises an offer of help when it’s presented to him and, cautiously, Jungkook steps forward to take the paintbrush. The Three of Clubs beams at him and ushers him over to join the others. He’s placed between the Two of Hearts and the Two of Diamonds, and they gesture for him to start painting as they do.

Jungkook stares at the rose in front of him, mutters a quiet apology, and slaps some red paint on it. He continues to paint, tense and wary because just how long are these Suits - there’s a raucous behind him and he freezes. The Two of Hearts and Two of Diamonds press in closer, shielding him from view with their height and girths. A group of higher ranked Suits goes running past, completely passing over Jungkook.

He releases a quiet breath when they’re gone. His hands are shaking. Red paint drips onto his shoes, coats the back of his knuckles, and runs down his wrists, but he’s safe.

He clears his throat. “Thank you.”

The Two of Hearts and Two of Diamonds smile shyly down at him, and Jungkook goes back to painting the roses. The Three of Clubs starts to whistle a tune and Jungkook passes the remainder of the night painting roses in the Queen’s maze.

Jungkook feels himself surfacing. He exhales slowly and rolls over. His limbs are heavy and his face is warm as sunlight streams in. Still, he remains in a hazy bliss and prepares to sink back into sleep. He shifts some more. His knee bumps Taehyung’s and they knock foreheads. Jungkook grimaces but adjusts so that the press of forehead on forehead is comfortable. He brings a hand up near his mouth, lays it on the pillow, and is surprised to find it is wet. He pulls a face and quickly wipes over his mouth in case he’s drooled everywhere - and gets a strong whiff of iron.

The white cotton is stained a rusty red. Jungkook reaches out to tilt Taehyung’s head, motions that little bit too rough. Taehyung stirs, lashes fluttering. His skin is hot to the touch, cheeks flushed but pallor pale. There’s blood smeared across the lower half of his face from a blood nose.

Jungkook swallows. “Tae,” he croaks. He clears his throat and pushes up on one arm. “Taehyung.” He shakes the other. It makes Taehyung’s head roll limply. “Taehyung, wake up.” Fear curls in the pit of his stomach. Sweat glistens on Taehyung’s collarbones. He shakes him again, more violently. Does it once more. Taehyung finally groans and tries to bat Jungkook away with weak hands. The fear in Jungkook’s stomach begins to settle again. “Tae, c’mon. We need to clean you up.”

Taehyung opens his eyes slowly. When they lock onto Jungkook, the breath in his lungs escapes too quickly to have been of use. Jungkook catches Taehyung’s chin and leans in to get a proper look. His brown eyes glimmer with the Lake of Endless Tears. The sun glints off its tiny caps as the wind causes the water surface to ripple. A stray leaf falls in, spins wildly -

Taehyung blinks.

Jungkook breathes.

“Jungkook,” Taehyung rasps. He sleepily rubs at his lower face, trying to scrub away the dried blood.

“You’re dying.”

Taehyung stills and raises a slow brow.

Jungkook bites his lip, because it’s not the greatest good morning in history.

“Wonderland is dying,” Taehyung reminds him, scrubbing at his face again. He feels around his nose, checking to see if the flow has stopped.

Jungkook grits his teeth. “You are Wonderland, hyung.”

Taehyung hums and reaches out to wrap a warm hand around Jungkook’s supporting arm. He runs his hand up and down, fingers light and leaving shivers in their wake. He smiles at Jungkook. “Jungkookie, it’s fine.”

Jungkook wants to wrench his arm back, wants to get angry and upset. He wants to snap and spit and hiss and - and maybe cry, if it’ll make Taehyung see reason. It’s not fine, dammit. It’s so far from fine it hurts. Jungkook lifts his head, avoiding Taehyung’s gaze for a brief moment. He closes his eyes. He wants to wrench his arm back, but he doesn’t. Instead, he lowers himself gently to lie beside Taehyung and pulls him to his chest. He sets his chin atop Taehyung’s head, feels the older boy shudder out a breath against his collarbone. Jungkook buries his face in Taehyung’s hair, threads his fingers through the strands, and despairs.

“How do we find Alice, hyung?”

Taehyung’s fingers find the curve of his hip and squeeze too tight for a moment, pressing the questions - how do you know who told you - into his skin. They loosen and rub soothingly.

“Hyung? Tell me.”

“Shh, Kookie.”

Jungkook shakes his head and pulls in a shaky breath. Taehyung presses a kiss to his collarbone and draws pattern on his bare back.

“How do we find Alice, Tae?”

Taehyung’s fingers still and he sighs. “I don’t know, Kook.”

“Seokjin and Namjoon - do they - have they - “

“They’re not sure either, Kookie. It just happens.”

“I’ll be your Alice,” Jungkook says, voice small. He hugs Taehyung to him tighter. “Please, hyung? I can be your Alice.”

Taehyung is quiet for sometime. Any tears that threaten to form dry on Jungkook’s lashes.

“Sleep, Jungkook,” Taehyung murmurs. His voice is deep. “The sun is warm and the breeze is cool. We’ve got a whole day of summer to waste. So sleep, Jungkookie.”

When Jungkook wakes again, the room is cool. The blinds have been drawn, and the afternoon sun glows gold around them. The ceiling fan ticks away. The sheets are rumpled and empty. Taehyung is gone.

Taehyung crosses campus in a hurry. A few students linger here and there but it’s Saturday afternoon and the place is practically barren - which is good, Taehyung tells himself, very good, because his thoughts are rattling around in his cage of a skull, demanding attention, and Wonderland - Wonderland -

His vision does that occasional funny thing it does when Wonderland presses too much, too hard, and the world goes a little funny as Wonderland seeps into it.

Taehyung inhales sharply through his nose and jogs down the small hill to the pond. He pulls out his phone as he goes, because he fucking knows who told Jungkook. Sweet, stupid Jungkook who thinks it’s his duty to find Alice and save Wonderland. Taehyung shoots off a text to Jimin then shoves his phone back into his pocket before he can get really angry and upset and say stupid stuff - doesn’t help that the Queen is feistier than usual, snapping at the back of his mind and trying to dig her claws in.

He comes to a halt at the edge of the pond, so sudden that it makes his knees hurt.

How do we find Alice, hyung?

Taehyung bites his lower lip and drags a hand through his hair, gaze lifting to the sky. Fuck. He didn’t want Jungkook knowing, didn’t want him getting dragged into this even more. When he ran into Jungkook at the library and saw all those books, he’d just thought Jungkook was satisfying his curiosity or something. Not that he was -

Even if a really small part of him had hoped -

Fucking hell Park Jimin when will you learn to keep your fucking mouth shut?

He groans and clenches a hand in the back of his hair, then presses the palms of his hands to his eyes. The Queen likes his anger a little too much. He swallows thickly, tries not to snap.

You’re dying.

His breath escapes him slowly.

Taehyung crouches at the water’s edge and cocks his head at his reflection. “Who are you trying to save, Jungkookie?” he murmurs, tilting his head the other way. He can see Wonderland staring back at him. “Because I’m not dying.” He reaches out, fingers spread, palm down, and sinks his hand through his reflection. “Wonderland is.”

Jimin’s phone vibrates on the bed beside him. He rolls away from Yoongi, quickly moving to steady the laptop balanced on Yoongi’s knees when Jimin knocks it with his own.

“Sorry,” he mutters, feeling around for his phone.

“All g,” Yoongi says, hitting the space bar to pause the movie.

Jimin lights up the screen display - and winces.

From: Taehyung

You told him

Yoongi notices Jimin grimacing and pipes up. “Who’s it from?”

“Tae…” Jimin unlocks his phone and opens the message, debating whether or not he should reply. He knows he probably should apologise but he’s really not sorry at all. “I told Jungkook about Alice.”

“The kid already knew about Alice.”

Jimin tosses his phone to the end of the bed and sits up. He drags a hand through his hair and looks down at Yoongi. “No. I mean about Alice.”

Yoongi’s expression goes surprisingly stony. “You mean you told him how to save Wonderland.”

Jimin swings his legs over the side of the bed and stands, avoiding Yoongi’s gaze. He can feel it boring into the space between his shoulder blades as he crosses the dorm room.

“Well that fucking explains it,” Yoongi mutters, mostly to himself.

Jimin plops down into Jungkook’s chair. The desk is a mess. There’s an empty pizza box and coke bottle from him and Yoongi, plus an unopened packet of chips and a half devoured packet of sour gummies, because Yoongi’s a baby. Jimin shuffles some of Jungkook’s stuff aside, looking through the textbooks partly as a way to avoid Yoongi, partly out of -

He goes still for a moment, then fingers the spines of the books in awe. He wiggles the biggest one out and eyes up the cover before flipping it open. “A Complete Collection of Lewis Carroll’s Works…” He shakes his head and grabs another book. “The Original Alice in Wonderland - with illustrations.” He grabs a third and starts to grin. “Disney’s Alice in Wonderland picture book.” He stacks them all - all six of them - on his lap, aligning them, before he puts them back on the desk. “He’s really getting into his research, hey…”

“You got him hooked on the idea,” Yoongi says. His voice lacks any sort of accusatory tone, despite the words themselves being an accusation.

Jimin stubbornly doesn’t meet his gaze. He shrugs and busies himself with clearing the desk. “We should have told him in the first place.”

“And what? Given him false hope?”

“It’s not false hope,” Jimin snaps. “It’s honest to God genuine hope because - “

“It’s been months, Jimin,” Yoongi says, voice falling soft. “It’s been months of searching - fuck it’s almost been half a year.”

Jimin clams up immediately and looks away again. He toys with the edge of the empty pizza box, lower lip quivering.

Yoongi sighs. “Jimin.”

“No,” he manages. “You’re right.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” Jimin chokes out, expression crumpling. Yoongi is already moving across the room. “Me too.”

Chapter Text

Jungkook meets up with Seokjin, Jimin and Hoseok for lunch at a cafe just off campus. He’s surprised Hoseok hasn’t dragged them all to The Cafe (Jungkook still doesn’t know the fucking name of the place) but when he meets them all there, they’re all strangely… happy.

He frowns at them all as he slides into his seat. “Why do you all look like you’re about to start puking rainbows and shitting candy?”

Now it is Seokjin who frowns. “Jungkook. We’re about to eat.”

“Sorry, mother,” Jungkook says, rolling his eyes even as a grin starts to curve his lips. “But seriously. You’re all way happier than usual - and that’s fucking saying something.”

“Fuck, how much is Yoongi rubbing off on you?” Jimin asks, toying with his straw. “Can’t a guy be happy round here?”

Hoseok holds up a hand. “Don’t go there,” he says to Jungkook. “I know. The opportunity is there - the pun is there. But - we can’t.”

Jungkook pulls a face and slumps in his chair. “Hyung,” he whines.

“Seokjin-hyung’ll kick our asses.”

Seokjin rests his chin in his hand and smiles prettily.

Jungkook leans away from him. “Fair point.” He reaches for the bottle of water in the middle of the table and pours himself a glass. “So why exactly are you all so pleased?”

Seokjin shrugs, and Jungkook has to wonder how he makes even that look pretty and elegant. “We were talking about Taehyung.”

Jungkook spills his water all over himself. “What about him?”

Hoseok laughs and pats him on the back. He pries the glass out of Jungkook’s hands and swaps it for some napkins, helping Jungkook to pat himself down. “Relax, Kook. He’s fine.”

“He’s doing more than fine,” Jimin says. “Like a lot more than fine.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook says softly.

“Yeah, Kook. I mean - I haven’t had to cover for him in - in weeks.”

“He hasn’t had a fever in a good while either,” Seokjin adds. “And he hasn’t collapsed since that night we all went out -”

Jungkook frowns. “Last week, with the Cat - “

“That’s the Cat being the Cat,” Seokjin says with a laugh.

“Taehyung’s doing really, really well, Jungkookie.” Hoseok offers him a small smile. “Really well.”

Jungkook suddenly finds it really fucking hard to swallow around the lump in his throat, and there’s something bouncing around in his gut that makes his knee bounce with equal vigour. He starts to tap the table, feeling mixed up and oddly anxious. He’s noticed some changes in Wonderland, sure. Like it doesn’t violently eject him anymore, and there’s a hell of a lot tossing and turning and - he clears his throat and reaches for a menu. “So have you guys ordered yet or…?”

Soon they’re parting ways. They stand on the curb of the street, hands in pockets, laughing as Jimin’s story comes to a close.

“You coming to study with Yoongi and me?” Jungkook asks Hoseok.

He nods. “Yeah, but I gotta swing past Seokjin’s. I left one of my textbooks there the other day.”

“Well we’re headed there now,” Jimin says. “I promised Tae we’d chill for a bit.”

Jungkook nods and starts to turn away. “All right, I’ll catch you guys later. Hoseok-hyung, I’ll see you in 20?”

“Sounds good, Kookie!”

Jungkook rolls his eyes at the exaggerated cheer and starts for the campus. He mulls over the conversation at the beginning of lunch - and smiles.

Yoongi raises a brow when Jungkook slides into place next to him. The kid’s fucking glowing.

“Lunch that good was it?”

Jungkook flips open his textbook and notebook. “Jimin looked fucking hot.”

Yoongi splutters. “Yah, fuck off.”

Jungkook smirks and shrugs, dragging the end of his pencil down the page as he reads through an explanation. “Then he got this white stuff all over his mouth. Like everywhere, hyung. All over his fingers and everything. I’m pretty sure it was mayonnaise. He just went and licked it right - “

Yoongi hits him up the back of the head. Hard. “Shut your fucking mouth Jeon Jungkook or so fucking help me I will shove your pencil down your throat and watch you choke on it.”

Jungkook winces and rubs his head. “Heh, kinky, hyung. Does Jimin know about your choking kink? Here, I’ll text him now for you.”

“Fucking - “ Yoongi snatches Jungkook’s phone away - then clutches his own to his chest as well. Just for good measure. “Study. Now.”

Jungkook grumbles but he’s grinning and he starts to scribble down some sort of maths that might as well be a complete other fucking language as far as Yoongi’s concerned. When he deems it safe enough, he returns Jungkook’s phone to him. He makes to put his down as well - then his phone is buzzing in his hand.

From: Hoseok

I’m running late

From: Hoseok

Keep Jungkook with you

Yoongi frowns - then dread starts to curl in his stomach. Fuck. Fuck no.

To: Hoseok

Wanna fucking tell me why?

“I’m surprised you’re willingly studying with someone other than Taehyung,” Yoongi comments dryly, laying the sarcasm on thickly even as another text comes through from Hoseok. Yoongi tightens his grip on his phone then sets it down. Fuck. “You two are fucking attached at the hip lately, hey?”

“I don’t know, hyung,” Jungkook says. A blush starts creeping up his neck, reaching all the way to his ears. He rubs one of them self-consciously. “But I kinda feel like Tae’s doing better lately, y’know?”

That’s why you’re glowing, isn’t it, Kook?

Young’s fingers curl around his phone again, palm covering the screen as he pulls it across the table to sit closer to him. “Yeah, kid?”

“Yeah. Like - I dunno. Maybe we’re enough, you know?”

Yoongi slips his phone in his back pocket. He reaches out and ruffles Jungkook’s hair. “Maybe you’re enough, brat. Maybe you’re enough.”

He watches as Jungkook’s ears flare red again, and the kid ducks his head and laughs shyly and scribbles down another equation. Yoongi watches him quietly. The sun cuts sharply across the room, glaring off the rises of Jungkook’s cheeks, the bridge of his nose. And Yoongi hopes that maybe Jungkook could be enough.

He feels his phone vibrate. His mouth tastes sour and he can’t help but ruffle Jungkook’s hair again. The kid whines and shoves his hyung away. Yoongi manages a tight smile and tries to turn back to his own work. His phone vibrates again and he almost snaps his pencil in half.

Jungkook is muttering quietly to himself, working his way through the equation, and Yoongi thinks suddenly the air is hard to breathe because the kid has no idea that on the other side of campus -

“Aish.” Yoongi shakes his head and musses up the back of his hair.

On the other side of campus, two pairs of familiar hands coax Taehyung to sit upright. Voices colour the air above him. The floorboards have bruised his elbows. Arms slide around his shoulders and under his knees then lift. Taehyung’s head lolls back before gentle hands guide it against a warm chest. The ceiling fan ticks away.

“I got him.”

“This is such fucking bullshit this can’t fuck just fuck - Tae, Tae - “

“Jiminie, just sit for a moment.”

“What help does that do, hyung?”

The room cools. Darkens. Taehyung is placed on his side. On a bed. Fingers tickle at his hips. Cotton slips over his head. A palm cups his forehead. Taehyung’s lips part. Knuckles under his chin steady him.

“Seokjin, grab a compress or somethin’”

“A fucking compress isn’t going to do shit - “

“Park Jimin shut your fucking mouth I swear.”

“Namjoon, leave him.”

Taehyung sees carpet. Taehyung sees a lake. Taehyung sees white cotton. Taehyung sees a maze.

Taehyung sees darkness.

On the other side of campus, Hoseok slides into the seat opposite Yoongi. Yoongi meets his gaze but the other gives a small shake of his head and opens his book. Yoongi breathes out between his teeth. Beside him, Jungkook sits with his chin in his hand and dreams of Wonderland.

That evening, Seokjin steals into the room to usher Jimin home. Namjoon is leaned against the wall, one arm crossed over his chest, the other propped up so that he can hold his head in his hand. He peers out as Seokjin takes Jimin’s place at Taehyung’s bedside and slips his hand into Taehyung’s.

Taehyung’s breath purrs in his chest. He’s not unconscious per se, but he’s not conscious either, and looks out at the room sightlessly through glassy, fevered eyes at half-mast. His fingers twitch around Seokjin’s like they had Jimin’s and he drops that name again. “Alice… Alice…”

Seokjin closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, jaw tight. “I know, Taehyungie,” he manages, thumb drawing soothing circles on Taehyung’s skin. Seokjin looks at Namjoon. “There’s gotta be something - “

“Yeah, I know.” Namjoon sighs and pushes off the wall. He crosses the room and sits with his back pressed up against the side of the bed so that he can face Seokjin. “I’ve been trying to think but I’ve got nothing.”

Taehyung whispers her name again. Namjoon twists to look at him. The hair across his forehead and at the nape of his neck is damp with sweat. Namjoon stretches awkwardly to check the compresses on Taehyung’s forehead and chest. They’ll need to be soaked again soon.

“Fucking fever won’t break,” Namjoon says, settling back again.

Seokjin rubs a hand over his face. “I don’t think it will anytime soon. This is the worst it’s ever been.”

“This is the worst he’s ever been. In every retrospect,” Namjoon mutters.

“It is Taehyung. And it is Wonderland,” Seokjin reminds him, tone dryer than usual. He licks his lips. Namjoon thinks he looks tired. Still pretty - always pretty - but tired. “We need to find her.”

Namjoon’s head has come to rest in his hands. He raises a brow, gaze trained on the carpet. “Yeah, no shit.”

There’s a beat of silence before Seokjin speaks again. “Neverland never got this bad, did it?”

It’s more of a statement but Namjoon answers anyway. “Don’t think so. But then, Peter and Neverland weren’t separated for this long.”

“How did you find me?” Seokjin asks quietly.

Namjoon runs his hands back and forth through his hair. “Was just about to ask how you found me.”

Taehyung catches their attention again. He’s grown restless. Both boys watch quietly. It’s the liveliest they’ve seen him since he collapsed, glass of water in hand, boxy grin wide, eyes reflecting a tea party to last for eternity. Now, he pants loudly, brow furrowed.

Seokjin frowns and gradually tightens his hold on Taehyung’s fingers. “Something’s wrong.”

Namjoon doesn’t bother to voice his agreement. He pushes to his knees and turns to face the bed. He reaches out a calming hand when Taehyung begins to shake. When Taehyung starts to writhe, Namjoon and Seokjin both stand. They pull the sheets away from where they’re twisted around Taehyung’s legs and Seokjin grabs the compresses before they can fall off the bed. There’s a small mole on Taehyung’s chest that catches Namjoon’s attention. His hand finds Seokjin’s unknowingly.

Seokjin squeezes. “What? What is it?”

“I - there - hang on.” Namjoon rubs at his eyes because he’s tired so maybe his eyesight is fucked but - “There’s only three Suits.”

It takes Seokjin a moment. “Wait, the cards? There’s only three?”

Namjoon nods. Clubs. Diamonds. Hearts. And again. “Spades is gone. He’s lost a Suit?”

“The other day,” Seokjin says quietly. Taehyung has settled and they make him comfortable again. His breathing isn’t purring anymore, it’s rattling. “He said he kept losing the flowers. That it was a struggle to find them.”

“And what? Wonderland’s just gone and lost a quarter of its armed forces?”

Seokjin hesitates. “Neverland never lost anything.”

“No, it didn’t. But again, we weren’t apart for this long…” Namjoon looks down at Taehyung. Sweat glistens on his tanned chest. His expression catches his attention the most. It looks tortured. Namjoon swallows thickly. Like a mother losing a child. “Wonderland is disintegrating and - fuck, whoa, you right?” Namjoon’s scrabbles against the hand slamming into his chest. The hand bats at him as Seokjin hushes him.

“There,” he says. “There. Namjoon - the name.”

“Yeah, I know,” Namjoon says, rubbing at his chest. “Alice.”

“No, not Alice.” Seokjin frowns. “I don’t - it wasn’t Alice.”

“Who, then?”

“I don’t know. You were talking and he said it too quietly.”

“Alice is the only thing he’s said since he went down. You sure?”

Seokjin’s features light up with a soft kind of awe. “If Alice is the only thing he’s talked about, then…”

Namjoon frowns but soon catches on. “He was calling out for his Alice.”

Taehyung doesn’t attend class for the next three days and Jimin covers his shifts at the store. The others do what they can to keep Jungkook preoccupied - strangely enough, at Yoongi’s request.

“The kid…” Yoongi trails off and sighs, running a hand back through his hair. He looks at Namjoon, who’s dragged him aside to ask where this sudden determination to keep Jungkook unaware has come from. “Look, the research is already that fucking close to getting out of hand but the kid’s hopeful.”

“Taehyung has been getting better,” Namjoon admits.

“Exactly,” Yoongi says. “And, fuck, you didn’t see the kid in the library that day. Seeing Taehyung miserable as fuck will crush him.”

Namjoon folds his arms over his chest and mulls it over. Despite Seokjin’s efforts, Taehyung has yet to drag himself out of bed. He barely eats, he sleeps most of the day away - the fever had taken forever to break and now Taehyung’s exhausted and - and grieving. “Yeah,” Namjoon says at last. “Ok. We’ll keep Jungkook away.”

So it becomes a round the clock effort until Taehyung’s back on his feet. They split their time between Taehyung, Jungkook and classes. If Jungkook catches on, he doesn’t say anything. Taehyung doesn’t either. Instead, the day after his fever breaks, Taehyung sleeps the day away. It is the next day, when Hoseok is seated at his desk churning through an assignment, that the events of the previous days catch up to him and he damn near screams in agony. Hoseok bolts up from the desk and tries to soothe, tries to pry Taehyung’s hands away from where they’re smashing at his own skull. Seokjin comes stumbling in, eyes wide, and tries to make sense of Taehyung’s rambling between his wailing and sobbing.

“It’s Wonderland,” Seokjin says, voice strained as he fights against Taehyung’s left hand and Hoseok fights against his right. “It’s mourning the Spades.”

Hoseok blinks at him then grunts, grappling to keep his grip on Taehyung’s arm when Taehyung jerks on it. “Hey, hey, hey, Taehyungie. It’s ok, it’s ok. You’re - oh.”

Taehyung stops fighting, going limp against the sheets. They release him and he rolls onto his side. His chest heaves as he cries. His face is flushed red and his cheeks are wet and he lays there sobbing - deep, gut-wrenching sobs that are genuine and ugly and make his whole body shake.

Seokjin crouches and smoothes Taehyung’s hair back. “Shh, Taehyung.”

“Hey, Tae? You’re ok…” Hoseok crawls onto the bed and rubs Taehyung’s back.

“Do you want us to call Jungkookie?” Seokjin asks, and Hoseok voices his agreement. Keeping Jungkook away isn’t worth it right now. “What about Jimin?”

But Taehyung just cries, and cries, and cries, until he exhausts himself and he lays there, hiccupping as he gazes out at them sightlessly. Seokjin wipes his cheeks dry and tucks his hair back, and Hoseok pulls the sheets up over him.

He rubs Taehyung’s head. “Sleep, Taehyungie. You’re ok now. You’re ok.”

Jungkook’s not stupid. He knows something is up. Yoongi’s making a hell of a lot of an effort to ‘hang out’ and it’s making Jungkook nervous because Yoongi is showing affection. So when he sees an opportunity arise, he takes it, declaring their lack of food and that he’ll duck down to the store real quickly.

Jungkook is greeted by Jimin, not Taehyung - though he was sure Taehyung said he was scheduled for Friday. But then, Taehyung did have to bail on their usual Wednesday meet up… Jungkook stares across the counter at Jimin, and Jimin gazes back calmly.

Something is wrong.

Jungkook swallows thickly and puts the items on the counter. “Hey, hyung,” he says quietly. He fishes for his wallet, fingers numb as he tries to backtrack over the past three days. He’s been seeing a lot of the hyungs, when he thinks about it. A lot more than he usually would in the span of three days. And a lot less of Taehyung than he normally would.

“Kookie,” Jimin murmurs.

Jungkook snaps out of it and realises Jimin’s trying to hand him his change. He takes it and stares at it. “I thought Tae was on today?”

Jimin shrugs. “He got a stomach bug earlier in the week so Seokjin has him on bedrest.”

Something uncoils in Jungkook’s own stomach and he sighs. Of course. Of course. Taehyung was just sick. He’s allowed to be sick. Everything is - everything is fine. He hasn’t been dreaming of Wonderland the past few nights but he doesn’t always dream of Wonderland so that doesn’t mean anything so Taehyung is fine Taehyung’s been getting better so there’s no need to worry like this Jungkook is just being -

Jimin’s hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes. “Hey, Kook, you ok?”

Jungkook doesn’t really know the answer to that. “Yeah,” he says at last. “Just - relieved.”

“Huh? Why?” Jimin’s lips part. “Oh. About Tae…?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Jimin laughs and ruffles Jungkook’s hair. “He’s fine, Kook. Promise. You know what, he’s promised me he’s gonna be good by tomorrow, so I’m extending that promise to you.”

“Why? What’s so significant about tomorrow?”

Jimin deadpans. “Can’t fucking trust Yoongi with anything. Hoseok’s organised with Seokjin and Namjoon to let him have casual drinks at their place with some of his dance mates. There’s only gonna be like 15 of us, super chill. You in?”

Jungkook stares at Jimin. Taehyung is fine, he tells himself. Tomorrow, Taehyung will be there, smiling rectangles and crescents at him while Wonderland winks at Jungkook from Taehyung’s dark reflective eyes. “Yeah, hyung,” he says - because Taehyung is fine and tomorrow Taehyung will be there to cuff his fingers around Jungkook’s wrist and drag him here and there and kiss him. “I’m in.”

And the next night, when Jungkook arrives and Taehyung spots him from across the room and he’s laughing at something someone has said but his eyes smile at and for Jungkook, Jungkook knows he was worrying about nothing. He smirks at Taehyung and shakes his head. He ducks into the kitchen to put his beers in the fridge, cracks one open, then joins them all at the dining table where they’re playing drinking games.

He sits next to Jimin, who shoots him a grin and explains the game to Jungkook, showing him his cards so that Jungkook can learn by playing with him. Taehyung is seated two people away, getting to know some of Hoseok’s friends. Jungkook’s eyes focus on him routinely.

Jimin notices Jungkook’s constant straying gaze. “He’s fine, Kook. Told you.”

Jungkook ducks his head and nurses his beer. “Yeah, yeah,” he says, ears hot.

Jimin laughs and nudges Jungkook. “Just play the next card, you idiot.”

As the night progresses, Jungkook’s worries soothe themselves completely. He and Taehyung move in and out of each other’s orbits comfortably as the group splits and rejoins, splits and rejoins. Jungkook rocks back on his chair and combs a hand through his hair, huffing out a breath as he tries to think of an answer that won’t have him chugging down his beer in the next 30 seconds.

He fails and groans as the others laugh and pound the table. The guy opposite him also groans and holds his beer to his forehead. Partner deal and all that shit.

“Whole thing, Jungkookie,” Seokjin says. He’s got an elbow propped on the table and his chin propped in his hand. He smiles and sips from his own beer, watching as Jungkook holds his drink to his lips and takes it all down.

Damn thing was practically full to the top.

Jungkook smacks his lips when he’s done and puts the bottle down dramatically. “Fuck. Done. Who’s next?”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Taehyung says, dragging his own partner to his feet. “Who needs top ups? We do.”

Jungkook and his partner both hold up their drinks as an indication, as do two other pairs. Taehyung and his partner disappear into the kitchen to round up some more beers and the others start playing the next round.

There’s a loud crash and then Hoseok’s friend, “shit Hoseok fuck Hoseok.”

Hoseok’s on his feet, brow furrowed as he hurries around the table to get to the kitchen. Seokjin and Namjoon are moving too, but Jungkook beats them there because he knows - he knows - he knows -

When Taehyung opens his eyes it is Jungkook looking down at him, eyes soft, smile small, but promise strong. Taehyung feels his eyes growing heavy and he smiles, slow and sleepy, up at Jungkook, head lolling so that his cheek brushes against the palm supporting his head.

Jungkook crouches lower and Taehyung’s vision is blurring. Grass brushes Jungkook’s knees and trees sway behind him. Wonderland whispers to him, tells him how much it likes Jeon Jungkook. There’s concern staining the corners of Jungkook’s smile but the promise is still there so Taehyung closes his eyes and lets himself fall.

Jungkook swallows thickly when Taehyung’s eyes roll back into his head. “Tae?”

Hoseok crouches beside him. “Hey, Tae, you ok? Taehyung.” He looks over his shoulder at Namjoon and Seokjin. “He’s out.”

Seokjin moans into his hands, shoulders hunching up by his ears.

“Get him up,” Namjoon says, stepping around Jungkook to take up Taehyung’s arms.

Jungkook’s throat goes tight and fuck he knows - he knows - he knows - “Hyung.” He pats Taehyung’s cheek, shakes his shoulder. “Hyung. Taehyung-hyung.”

“He’s ok, Kook,” Namjoon says. “Help us get him to his room, yeah?” Namjoon smiles at him. Jungkook stares back with wide eyes and Namjoon must see something on his face because his smile slowly drops. “Jungkook?”

Seokjin’s hands fall on his shoulders. “C’mon, Kookie,” he says, his own voice tight. He squeezes Jungkook’s shoulders. “Let’s get him to bed.”

Jungkook swings his gaze down but it doesn’t focus. He nods, hands copying Namjoon’s. They get Taehyung up and Jungkook steps back, letting Hoseok take his place under Taehyung’s left arm. He follows them, moving on autopilot. He opens the door for them when they ask, pulls Taehyung’s sheets back, helps take off his shoes and his shirt and his jeans, tugs the sheets up to Taehyung’s chin, and switches on the ceiling fan.

Then Hoseok guides him from the room and Namjoon shuts the door behind them and the three of them stand in the corridor and Jungkook still can’t get his gaze to focus and everyone’s voices sound like they’re trying to fight their way across the galaxy to reach him. He follows them back to the rest of the group, takes the beer that’s handed to him and manages a smile when Jimin offers him a teary one of his own.

Jungkook tries to widen the smile - and chokes on it. He bows his head and holds his beer to his chest and inhales quickly through his nose, trying to work past the terror curling in his stomach and the wretchedness building in his throat because, fuck, he knows - he knows - he knows Taehyung isn’t all right.

Taehyung is dying.

Come morning, the terror and wretchedness have turned into a strange kind of resolve. Taehyung is already up when Jungkook wakes. He swings himself out of bed and goes in search of him. He finds him with Hoseok, Namjoon and Seokjin in the main living, sitting at the dining table. Taehyung is laughing and grinning, hair still ruffled from sleep, wearing a pair of sweats and a baggy tee. Jungkook marches over to them, ignores their good mornings, ignores the way Taehyung blinks up at him with brown eyes still soft with sleep, and slams his hands on the table. He leans in close, brushing his nose past Taehyung’s.

“You’re dying.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen.

“Jungkook,” Seokjin says, startled.

“You, Kim Taehyung,” Jungkook says. His voice wobbles and he curses at himself mentally. “Are dying.”

Something flickers across Taehyung’s gaze as quickly as his gaze flits over Jungkook’s face. Somehow his eyes seem to both soften and harden at once. He laughs and stands, stepping away from Jungkook. “Fuck, you’re dramatic, Kookie. Morning, by the way.” He heads for the kitchen. “Wonderland is dying.”

Jungkook stares at where Taehyung was sitting. Wonderland is dying. How many fucking times has he heard that exact line slip past Taehyung’s lips? How many - Jungkook grits his teeth and - and Jungkook realises that Taehyung’s acknowledgement has always been one of denial.

He moves without thought, shoving away from the table and crossing the room and snatching up Taehyung’s arm and tugging him into place. “Taehyung - “

Taehyung looks affronted. He stares at Jungkook’s hand on his arm. “Jungkook - “

“Taehyung - “

“Fucking - let me - “ Taehyung tries to pull free but Jungkook tightens his grip and shakes Taehyung.

“Taehyung. You are Wonderland.”

Taehyung jerks his arm free. He’s frowning strangely at Jungkook, like he doesn’t know what to make of the situation - and Jungkook can’t totally blame him because he can sense the others sitting tense and watchful behind him but he can’t explain the feeling curling inside his ribcage, some sort of determination and - and - fuck he’s done with the bullshit.

“Jungkookie, I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, hyung.”

“I am, Kook.” He’s turning away again. “Honestly. There’s - “

And Jungkook is grabbing at Taehyung’s arm again and yanking on it and pulling him in and Jungkook is yelling because “I’m so fucking done with this bullshit I’m not a child fucking hell you are not fine Taehyung and it was not a stomach bug that kept you away from class and work for the past three days and it wasn’t a stomach bug that had you - had you - “ Jungkook breaks off and breathes in through his nose, out through his mouth, in through his nose, out through his mouth. He needs to calm down, calm down, calm down.

Jimin walks in, mussing his bed hair up even more. He blinks blearily at them. “The fuck is going on…?”

“Hey, Jungkookie,” Hoseok says. He stands from the table and gestures for the others to do the same. “How ‘bout we all chill on the couch? My ass hurts from these chairs.”

The hyungs are promptly ignored.

“You need to stop manhandling me,” Taehyung grinds out, tugging at Jungkook’s wrist in an effort to get him to let go. “Jungkook.”

“Manhandling you?” Jungkook fights not to hold on tighter. “You’re the one who likes to fucking drag me everywhere when you’re drunk.”

“Not like you’ve complained before,” Taehyung mumbles childishly. He averts his gaze and pushes his lower lip out in a pout.

Jungkook sighs. “Yeah, well - “ He shakes his head. “Stop trying to change the fucking subject!”

“Why won’t you drop the fucking subject?” Taehyung snaps, and the darkness of his pupils is spreading into his irises and Jungkook knows this means trouble, trouble, trouble -

But he charges ahead anyway.

Yoongi wakes to yelling. He groans and lifts his head, looking about himself blearily. He and Jimin crashed in Namjoon and Seokjin’s room on the blow-up mattress. The others are all long gone. Grumbling under his breath, he grabs his shirt off the floor, gets to his feet, and follows the noise.

“Oi,” he says, stepping into the main living. “The fuck is…” He trails off and frowns.

The yelling has stopped but the tension is thick as fuck. Hoseok is gently guiding Jungkook backwards, then pushing on his shoulders so that he sits on the couch next to Jimin. Taehyung is pacing the kitchen angrily, dark eyes glaring out at Jungkook from behind ruffled bangs.

Yoongi raises a brow and slowly approaches the couches as he pulls his shirt on over his head. He stands next to where Seokjin is seated and crosses his arms over his chest. This is… interesting.

“Taehyung-hyung,” Jungkook says. His voice is level and oddly business-like. Yoongi’s negotiated enough with Jungkook over their time as roommates to recognise the tone. “You can’t keep ignoring this.”

Taehyung pulls the fridge open. It’s violent and the items in the door rattle. “Says you.”

“You’re ill.”

“Wonderland is ill.”

“You are Wonderland.”

“Fuck, you’re intelligent.”

Yoongi raises his brows at the snark. The fuck has he missed? He watches Jungkook purse his lips and have some sort of internal argument. Taehyung watches too, arms folded over his chest, stance wide and dominating. Yoongi frowns and tilts his head. Taehyung’s eyes are starting to look impossibly dark.

“Taehyung-hyung,” Jungkook says again. He looks to be thinking just that little bit too hard. “Wonderland is dying. As Wonderland’s host - “

Taehyung rolls his eyes and moves again. He yanks open a cupboard and grabs a mug. “Jesus Christ Jeon Jungkook.”

“ - as Wonderland’s host, you are also… affected by Wonderland’s…” Jungkook grits his teeth, searching for words. Yoongi thinks the kid is fighting a losing battle but hey, he’s impressed by his efforts. “Illness. Alice - “

“What about Alice?”

“Alice is the cure, yeah? So if we find Alice, then you’ll be ok.” Jungkook drops his gaze to his hands. “You’ll live.”

Yoongi runs a hand through his hair, fighting a grimace. Jesus, Jungkook… Who knew two words could sound so brutally hopeful, even to Yoongi. The kid’s gotten under his skin, fucking hell.

The kid’s also gone and fucked up.

Taehyung slams the mug down on the bench hard enough that two of the empty soft drink bottles wobble, fall, and clutter on the ground. Yoongi watches them spin in uneven circles before lifting his gaze to Taehyung again. His hair is darkening and the lights don’t brighten his eyes.

“Why the fuck is this so hard for you to accept, Kook? The others have accepted it, I’ve accepted it - Wonderland is fucking dying, all right? Get over it!”

And Yoongi has to give the kid credit. He’s stayed strong and level-headed, calmly fighting his corner. But now - now his voice wobbles. Now the kid is a kid with too much on his plate and a heart too big to be hurting this much. “Hyung, you are Wonderland.”

Taehyung goes still at the tremble in Jungkook’s voice. He glances over, lips parted, brow furrowed in concern. But the light still doesn’t penetrate his eyes and his hair is near black. The little mole on his nose is changing suits. “People die, Jungkookie. Grow up.”

Hoseok looks ready to intercede but Seokjin pats his knee and he settles back into the couch, gnawing his lower lip. There’s an old hickey on his neck that rolls over muscle as he cracks his neck nervously.

“Tae.” It’s Jimin. “He’s just - “

“Let me be your Alice,” Jungkook says. He’s seated so precariously on the edge of the couch that Yoongi expects him to fall or stand any second now. “Please, hyung. I can be your Alice. I’ll - I’ll find a way - “

“Fuck off, Jungkook.”

Jungkook plunders on, voice thickening with emotion. “I’ll save you, Tae. I’ll save Wonderland. I’ll save you both. Please. Please, hyung, I’ll be your Alice.”

Taehyung’s hair is shades of midnight. His lips twist upwards in a crude imitation of his usual smile. “I don’t want you to save me, Kookie. I don’t need you to save me. What I need is for you to grow the fuck up and accept the situation. Be a big boy now, hmm?”

Jungkook sinks back into the couch, head shaking. His eyes are wide. “No, hyung. No. I don’t want to speak to the Queen. I want to speak to you.”

“Thought you wanted to save us all.”

“I will. I will, hyung. I promise, I will.” Jungkook fists his hands and stands. “I won’t let you die.”

The yelling starts again. “I don’t want you to save us I don’t need saving I’m not dying Wonderland is dying why don’t you get that why can’t you get that Jeon Jungkook you’re so fucking stupid - “ Yoongi takes a step back, heart hammering in his chest as Taehyung sweeps his arms over the island bench, sending it all to the ground. Empty bottles shatter. Plastic cups bounce over the tiles. His eyes are an endlessly deep black. This isn’t Taehyung. This isn’t Taehyung at all.

Jungkook’s hands are shaking but he approaches anyway, slips out of Jimin’s hold when he tries to reach for him, ignores Namjoon’s low warning of his name. “Taehyung. Taehyung, Taehyung. We’ll find her. We’ll find Alice.” Jungkook makes to reach out. “And if not, I’ll be your - “

The Queen of Hearts emerges fully and screams. Taehyung lunges, hands getting around Jungkook’s throat. He slams the younger boy back, pins him to the fridge as he screams bloody murder. Jungkook’s hands scratch over Taehyung’s as he still keeps trying to reach Taehyung. Namjoon and Seokjin rip Taehyung back. He screams and fights in their hold.

“Off with his head off with his head! Off with his fucking head!”

Yoongi exchanges a brief glance with Jimin and then moves. Hoseok has already swept in to gather up Jungkook, is forcing the other into his jacket. Yoongi collects the rest of their belongings. Jimin helps to wrestle Taehyung to the ground. Jungkook begs them to stop - breathless, desperate pleas. Yoongi reaches his side and helps Hoseok get the kid’s left arm into the jacket. Yoongi throws his arm around Jungkook’s shoulders and uses his other hand to force the kid’s head down.

“C’mon, brat,” he says, gesturing with his head for Hoseok to follow as they make to leave. He winces as something smashes into the wall next to them. It shatters.

“Kill him I’ll fucking kill him off with his head off with his head!”

A glance over his shoulder shows that Taehyung is free again. The image makes Yoongi nauseous. There’s something sick and demented in the way his fingers claw at the ground, spittle flying from his lips, eyes wide and wild. His nails are broken and bloody, his shirt ripped near in two.

“Hyung hyung please hyung - “ Jungkook squirms in Yoongi’s hold. “Hyung lemme help him hyung Yoongi please.”

“No can do, kiddo,” he grinds out. He gets both of his arms around Jungkook’s waist and pushes him back, back, back.

Jungkook grapples at his shoulders, almost like he’s about ready to scale Yoongi if need be. “Taehyung! Taehyung, please - “

“Why,” Taehyung screams and the sound of it is enough to cause Yoongi to falter, to glance back. The three boys have him pinned on his stomach, wrists locked behind him. Namjoon digs his knee into his back in an effort to keep him down. Still, Taehyung fights and writhes in an effort to get free. “Why won’t you fucking accept it I’m not dying Wonderland is dying you can’t save me Wonderland is fucking dying not me!”

“Hyung,” Jungkook says, the word a damn near sob in itself. “Taehyung, you are Wonderland, you are Wonderland.”

Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut, tries to get them moving again. Namjoon is yelling at them to hurry up and get the kid fucking out of here already.

“Accept it just fucking accept it - “

“Hyung, I can save you I promise I’ll save you - “

“-just fucking - you can’t fucking save me -“

“- I will, hyung, I will - “

“- I don’t want you to fucking save me!”

Yoongi’s eyes go wide, head ducking instinctively as Taehyung’s scream rips through the air. Jungkook shudders in his hold and then Hoseok is behind them and pushing and Jungkook doesn’t fight anymore and finally, they’re in the hallway, then out the door. Hoseok slams the door shut then hurries them down the steps. Taehyung’s screams chase them to the curb. Yoongi places a firm hand on the back of Jungkook’s nape, squeezes once, then leads them all home.

“Taehyung,” Jimin snaps, struggling to keep his best friend down. He’s got his full body weight pressed down on the other and still the three of them combined can hardly keep him still. “Taehyung, stop. Stop!” He huffs out a breath and jerks his head to get his hair out of his eyes as he looks to his hyungs. “What do we do? We can’t keep him pinned forever.”

“The Queen needs to back the fuck off,” Namjoon grinds out.

“That’s not fucking happening any time soon.”

“Fuck. I know.”

“Let him go,” Seokjin says.

“What?” Jimin blurts.

Namjoon smirks briefly. Sweat is gathering on his brow. Taehyung hasn’t stopped screaming. “Heh, sorry, babe, you’ve lost your mind.”

“Let him run his rampage. Let her run her rampage,” Seokjin explains between breaths. “Pinning him down like this is just making him angrier.”

Jimin holds his breath, thinking it over. He lets the breath out in a whoosh. “Ok. On the count of three?”

“Fuck, you’re both crazy but ok.” Namjoon shifts his weigh and prepares to jump back. “One. Two. Three!”

They scramble back. Taehyung shoots forward, screaming like a banshee. He scurries across the floor on all fours, reminiscent of the fucking grunge before he gets to both feet and reeks havoc. “Off with his head off with his fucking head! Where is he? Where is he I’ll kill him I’ll fucking kill him.” Glass shatters. One of the couches is flipped. The structural counter is swept clean.

“Tae - Tae, he’s gone,” Jimin says. The three of them move about the room carefully, ensuring to keep enough space between themselves and Taehyung that he can’t hurt them, whilst staying close enough that they can take him down again if need be. “He’s gone.”

“- won’t fucking accept it why won’t he just fucking accept it.”

Jimin swallows thickly, feels tears building. Oh, Jungkook. Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook. The desperate way he pleaded for Taehyung echoes in Jimin’s head, the terrified look of concern on his features is burned on his eyelids. “None of us can accept it, Tae.” His voice falls quietly. “None of us have.”

Taehyung goes disturbingly still and quiet. His head hangs at an odd angle as he peers at Jimin with eyes of black. Seokjin’s hands appear on Jimin’s shoulders and they push.

“Go, Jiminie.”

“Hyung - “

“Go. Go now.”

Jimin licks his lips, takes one last look at his best friend, then quickly gathers his stuff and flees the house.

Yoongi tosses his keys and jacket onto the desk then lets out a long, loud sigh. Hoseok’s lips are pursed and he gives Yoongi a funny smile when their gazes meet. Even Hoseok’s usual sunny disposition is waning. Yoongi lets out another loud exhale and musses up his hair. He looks to Jungkook. The kid is seated on the edge of his bed, body hunched over.

“You good, kid?” Yoongi’s voice comes out rough and he clears his throat. “Jungkook?”

Jungkook’s head bows.

There’s a loud banging at the dorm door. Hoseok opens it and Jimin stumbles in, panting hard. Yoongi starts forward, arm coming up to wrap around Jimin in a one-armed embrace. The younger boy sighs into the crook of his neck, shakes his head, and pulls free. He cranes his head to see past Yoongi, then steps around him to address Jungkook.

“Kookie…” He licks his lips and hesitates. “Tae - Tae, isn’t - I mean - “ He huffs out a sigh and rubs the back of his neck. “How you doing?”

Jungkook turns his head, pointedly looking away from them all.

Jimin nods slowly. “Right. Ok then. Well - how about we all grab a bite to eat? Soak up the beer in our stomachs with a greasy as fuck breakfast?”

Hoseok jumps aboard the bandwagon. “Then we can all come back here and play some Fifa.”

“Hell,” Yoongi mutters. “If you’re all coming here, I’m gonna need to get the beers going again.”

Hoseok laughs. “Sunday sesh it is! Whaddya say, Kookie?”

There’s determination set in the lines of Jungkook’s frown. He finally swings his gaze up to them and Yoongi feels it’s much too serious and much too tormented for a kid his age. “We need to find Alice.”

Jimin deflates. “Kookie.”

Jungkook shakes his head and looks away again. “I’ll find her. I’m not letting him die.”

The words silence the room. Yoongi licks his lips and nods slowly, quietly agreeing. If Jungkook is too young for seriousness and torment of this matter… Then Taehyung - Taehyung is too fucking young to die.

Chapter Text

The screaming match doesn’t just ‘blow over’ like Jimin keeps assuring everyone it will. The tension between Taehyung and Jungkook has been going strong for a good three weeks, and it’s reaching the point of volatility and poison. They don’t see each other but for the times they run into each other on campus. Jungkook avoids the convenience store at all costs and Taehyung rarely frequents the small pond. When they do run into each other, there is stillness and silence and gazes deep with too much meaning and emotion. One of them always turns away first - Taehyung, with either a disinterested mask or black-eyed glare. Jungkook with a look of set determination (or a look of such poorly concealed anguish and concern that it does, on occasion, make Taehyung’s heart ache.)

Jimin rubs at one eye blearily. The afternoon sun is warm through the windows and dust particles glimmer. The words on the page are starting to swim. He’s so fucking tired. Sighing, Jimin rests his head on the table. Fuck this shit.

Across from him, Jungkook does his own study. Not for his course, nooooo, Jimin thinks sarcastically. Jungkook’s attendance record and grades are slipping hard. No, it’s Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland that he always has in hand. The number of notes Jungkook has on it - on the original, the parodies, the fanfictions, the screen and stage adaptions - is impressive to say the least.

And insane.

Jimin senses Jungkook’s stillness and slowly raises his head to deliver some deadpanned, sarcastic remark - once he thinks of it - but stops short. He straightens up. “Tae.”

Taehyung stands at the end of their table, looking as though he’d been mindlessly walking past when he noticed them. He’s got a couple of books tucked under his arm but Jimin can’t see the titles - doesn’t care to know anyway, because right now his focus is on the amount of fucking tension in the air.

Jungkook looks back at Taehyung over the top of his book, dark eyes unblinking. He doesn’t bother hiding the subject of his research from Taehyung - instead he makes a show of it, long fingers coming up to the corner to turn a new page.

Taehyung works his jaw.

“You coming to the Sunday sesh at Namjoon’s?” Jimin asks because the tension is oppressive and this has gone way past the point of ridiculous. “Tae? Earth to Tae?”

“You can’t save us,” Taehyung says.

Jungkook’s response is to simply tilt his head to rest his cheek on his balled fist. His eyes drop to his book and swing side to side as they make their way down the page.

“You can’t save me.” Taehyung takes one last disgusted look at Jungkook’s book before walking off. Jimin watches him go and wonders when the anger will seep from his skin and his shoulders will relax and maybe his hair will stop throwing shades of black. But none of that happens - hasn’t happened since the Queen first bared her teeth in the kitchen those few weeks ago. There had been bruises on Jungkook’s pale neck the next day but the kid had worn them with an odd sense of pride.

Jimin jolts from his thoughts when Jungkook stands. “Kookie? Where you headed?” He watches as Jungkook sweeps together his notes and closes the loose papers between the covers of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. Then he collects the other books he’s plucked from the shelves - biographies on the author; samples of studies; the Disney picture book (again) - and cradles them to his chest. “Hey, you good?” Jimin asks softly.

Jungkook hesitates but doesn’t look up. “I’m scared he’s right,” he says, voice so quiet Jimin almost misses it. “But I will save him. I’ll save them both.” His knuckles turn bone-white as his fingers curl tighter around his belongings. Then he’s turning promptly on one heel and disappearing amongst the shelves and the sunlight.

Jimin sighs and rubs at his eyes. He looks to his study notes, fingers crabbing over the table until he finds his pencil. He twirls it, occasionally brings it to his mouth to nibble at the end of it, and hell, occasionally he even scribbles a note in the margins. But he’s tired and tired and tired, and soon he finds his elbow pressed to his notes, crumpling the paper, as he props his cheek in his hand and looks out the window. He cranes his neck, trying to see down to the courtyard a little better. He swears he sees - there. Taehyung stands in the middle of the courtyard, having gone completely still in that eery way he does (and more often than not, he zones out so badly he eventually starts to sway like a sapling in the wind). A good few metres opposite, Jungkook has also come to a halt. There’s a plastic bag around his wrist that suggests he stopped at the corner store. He plays with it in a show of nerves as he and Taehyung stare each other down.

Jimin purses his lips sadly. Even in the dying sunlight, when everything is stroked with gold, Taehyung’s hair throws dark, dark shades of black.

Jungkook flicks his thumb over the bag’s handles, sets the bag spinning. Its contents are light and minimal: a triangle kimbap and packet of ramen. The books are in the crook of his other arm. He just wants to go home and sleep.

Five or so metres away, Taehyung stands, still in the crowd. The afternoon sun strikes his skin golden but his eyes are set in an impenetrable black. Another student is too busy laughing at her friend, and she tilts her body at the last minute to avoid Taehyung. Their shoulders bump and she rushes out an apology. Taehyung doesn’t even flinch.

Jungkook flicks his thumb over the handles again.

No one has backed down yet. He doesn’t know what to do. One of them always backs down. No, he reminds himself, one of them always retreats. Walks away.

Jungkook isn’t walking away from him this time.

Neither is Taehyung, he realises with a jolt, because he’s walking towards Jungkook. Steady, evenly paced steps that set Jungkook’s heart racing. He stops flicking his thumb over the handles so that he can clutch them tightly in his fist. He hugs his books closer to his side and tenses up against the very instinctive urge to step away from the approaching danger.

Because Taehyung is dangerous. Jungkook saw that in him the first night they properly met, when a boy with brown hair tinted blue puffed smoke rings at him and stole his slice of lime to have him retrieve it from behind insistent teeth. But that Taehyung has nothing on this one, because this one is dangerous in the very cut of his face, the shadows under his impossibly dark eyes, the swell of his bottom lip, the sweep of his lashes. If this Taehyung blew smoke rings at him across a counter, they’d be poisonous vapour.

“Taehyung.”

The voice is sharp and it barks Taehyung’s name. It makes both Jungkook and Taehyung jolt - Jungkook out of his stupor, and Taehyung out of his walk. Yoongi appears beside Jungkook and settles a hand on his shoulder, guiding him to turn away. Jimin is approaching Taehyung from behind. Honestly, Jungkook hasn’t a clue which one of them called out.

“I’m starving and I’m fucking sick of ramen,” Yoongi is saying as he presses a little more firmly with the hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Let’s go get barbecue.”

Jungkook nods, not really paying attention. He twists his neck to look over his shoulder at Taehyung but Yoongi won’t let him catch a proper glance at him. He can see Jimin is furious, hushing out angry words and warnings, but Taehyung’s face is stony, dark eyes set on Jungkook’s retreating figure.

You can’t save me, his dark eyes glare.

Jungkook’s own gaze hardens. Fucking watch me.

“Stop that,” Yoongi mutters at him. His hand is still on Jungkook’s shoulder and it squeezes in warning.

“Stop what?” Jungkook hisses back, voice low as he finally looks away. “Saving him?”

Yoongi’s gives him a sidelong glance, gaze sharp. “Watch it, kid.”

Jungkook breathes in and out through his nose, feels his lungs tightening with anger. It curls hot and heavy in his stomach and it’s potent enough that he considers actually trying to pick a fight with Yoongi.

But Yoongi is still giving him that sharp look of warning and as Jungkook tries to stare him down, he notices the soft touch of knowing.

Jungkook deflates. He drops his head and flicks his thumb over the bag handles. “I’m sorry this is coming between you and Jimin.” He licks his lips. “And I’m sorry for dragging you into it.”

“It’s not coming between us, Kook. And you didn’t drag us into it. Jimin got us involved a long, long time ago. No going back now.”

Jungkook nods. He wants to ask but doesn’t have the energy. “Hey, hyung, I’m really sorry but - “

Yoongi snorts and rotates his palm on Jungkook’s shoulder, soothing out the tension. “You really think I could afford barbecue? Let’s go home, kid.”

Taehyung keeps waking up on the floor. It’s kind of become his thing lately. So it’s no surprise when he groans and stirs, that his cheek is pressed up against the cool tiles of Seokjin’s beloved kitchen. Jimin hovers over him, expression tight with worry. His lips move around Taehyung’s name - this has also happened many times, so Taehyung recognises the look of his name on Jimin’s lips, even if he can’t hear him because his head is cotton candy and he might as well be underwater. Birdsong cuts through first, followed by the whistle of Happy Birthday, and the Cat’s deranged laughter.

Then Jimin’s voice. “Tae? Taehyung? Hey, hey, can you hear me?”

Taehyung groans and nods.

Jimin rocks back to sit on his haunches. “Fuck, Tae. You scared me.”

“Should be used to it by now,” he slurs, hands sliding cautiously over the tiles. He needs to sit up.

“Yeah, before Jungkook. This hasn’t happened in fucking ages. Except for - you know.”

Jungkook.

Taehyung closes his eyes again, frowning. He doesn’t want to hear that name. It was the few words Taehyung bothered to voice as Jimin dragged him home, lecturing him all the while. He’s just trying to help. He’s just a kid. Fucking get over your pride - blah blah blah.

Taehyung gets his hands under his shoulders and pushes. He manages to get to all fours. Then he’s crashing sideways again, eyes rolling back. Jimin cushions his fall and they both let out a grunt as they hit the ground.

“Sorry,” Taehyung rasps as Jimin pulls himself out from under him. Taehyung licks his lips and begins to pant. It’s too hot.

Jimin’s voice sounds from above him. It’s soft and sad. “You’re getting worse again, Taehyungie.”

“Wonderland is getting worse.”

“Taehyung…”

“Has to get worse before it can get better.” He licks his lips again and presses his cheek firmly against the tiles. They’re nice and cool. “Did before.”

“Yeah. Before. With Jungkook.”

The words rattle something in his chest. He tries to swallow the feeling back when he feels it creeping up his throat. Again and again, he swallows, gulping down air with it. Jimin’s hand falls on his shoulder and his thumb makes circles. Taehyung wheezes and squeezes his eyes shut. Jungkook’s image is burned onto the back of them. He can still feel the curve of his neck under his hands when he tried to choke the life out of him. It wasn’t better with Jungkook. It wasn’t better with Jungkook. It wasn’t. It was just better. By itself. In general. Has to get worse before it gets better. Jungkook just happened to be around.

Jimin’s voice sounds again. “Taehyung, seriously. You’re - “

“I’m not dying,” he growls, eyes opening to slits. He feels the Cat’s claws dig into his mind then release quickly. It stings. The Cat doesn’t do anger. He’s not happy. But the Queen, she’s still there - hasn’t left him since that fight with Jungkook. And she loves anger. “And don’t mention his name.”

Jimin is silent for a long while - long enough for Taehyung to right himself, to get himself seated with his back propped against the cupboards. Taehyung looks at his best friend. Jimin won’t accept it either. Great.

“You should go, Jimin.”

Jimin lifts his gaze. “Fuck off. I’m not leaving. Say what you want but you’re getting worse. And I don’t care - Jungkook was good for you, somehow. You were getting better, Tae. And now - “

“I still am better. This is temporary.”

Jimin works his jaw. “Is Wonderland better?”

Taehyung tilts his head with a sigh. Wonderland is… Wonderland is falling apart. It takes him too long to find places that are more familiar to him than the corners of his own mind, and the Suits are still mourning the loss of the Spades. The sun doesn’t shine right and the rivers have all started flowing in the wrong direction and the trees are restless in the wind and Wonderland keeps biting, biting, biting at him and begging - begging - “…No.”

“Then neither are you.” Jimin stands and dusts himself down. He picks Taehyung’s books up from the floor - fuck, seriously? He didn’t even make it to the counter first? “You hungry?”

Taehyung closes his eyes. He makes to tell Jimin to fuck off because he’s not in the mood and his pride is stinging - but there’s a voice, quiet and breathy and desperate, begging for his attention. The sounds of Jimin cluttering around the kitchen, of Seokjin and Namjoon coming home, give way to birdsong, the whistle of Happy Birthday, and the Cat’s deranged laughter.

The moment Jungkook sits on the bed, he lets himself crumple sideways. Exhaustion washes over him. His eyes hurt from staring at the pages of his book for too long - but there has to be an answer in it somewhere. There has to be a way to save Taehyung. To save them both. He sighs and rubs at his eyes, then drags his fingers back through his hair.

Yoongi moves around their room, not saying a thing. Eventually, he sits at his desk, opens his computer, plugs in his headphones, and starts producing.

Jungkook watches him for a while, thoughts quiet and still. But soon they stir. They concentrate on the darkness of Taehyung’s eyes, on the shades of midnight tinting his hair. There is magic in Taehyung’s veins and it’s killing him. And Alice is missing. There has to be a way to find her. But Jungkook keeps coming up short on ideas. Alice didn’t find Wonderland and Wonderland didn’t find her. Alice dreamed up Wonderland. Alice dreamed of Wonderland.

Jungkook’s eyes begin to flutter shut. Did she dream of Wonderland as much as he does? Did she spend night after night navigating its woods? Or drinking tea with the Mad Hatter? Or lying under the shade of the flowers while they gossiped and bantered high above? Did she paint roses with the Suits, or go diving in the lake?

The more Jungkook lulls to sleep, the more he sees Wonderland as he always has in Taehyung’s gaze. But as much as he enjoys the thrill of staring deep into Taehyung’s eyes and seeing the Lake of Endless Tears, or the never-ending tea party, or the Royal Maze, Jungkook wishes it would all just…

Disappear.

Taehyung wakes up on the floor. Again. He groans and twists his head, pressing his forehead against the ground. This time, it is Namjoon who hovers over him.

“Stop that,” he says, poking at Taehyung’s cheek.

Taehyung groans louder.

Namjoon sighs and sits, letting out a huff. “Tell me when you’re good and I’ll help you up.”

Taehyung swings his gaze sideways to peer at Namjoon through his hair. The other is looking out over the living room, arms draped over his knees. He looks nonchalant enough, but there’s a tensity in his shoulders, and a pinch to his gaze. “Where’s Jimin?” Taehyung croaks.

“Hmm?” Namjoon raises a brow and looks down at him. “Oh. Seokjin took him out. Think they’re getting ice cream or something. I dunno but Jiminie looked like he was about to cry.”

Taehyung groans for a third time. “Jimin was crying? Yoongi-hyung will kill me.”

Namjoon chuckles. “Yeah, well - “ Whatever Namjoon is gonna say dies on his tongue. He looks at Taehyung oddly. “Jimin said this happened again all of 15 minutes ago.”

“Yeah.” Taehyung licks his lips and manages a shrug. “Today’s just especially bad today, I guess.” He avoids his gaze. It’s harder with Namjoon and Seokjin. With the others he can act like a prick if he wants, keep them far away with sharp words and an awful attitude. But that doesn’t work with Namjoon and Seokjin. One: they don’t buy it. Two: he feels too much like a kid when he’s around them to pull it off properly.

“Especially bad, huh?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, tone flat. “Hyung…”

“Mm?”

“Do you think I’m dying, too?”

Namjoon blinks down at him. He starts to rub the back of his neck in thought. In the end, all he does is smile.

But it’s enough.

Yoongi stops when he’s about to throw the computer out the window in frustration. The synth just ain’t fucking cooperating. He slams the laptop lid shut and slips off his headphones, muttering angrily to himself. There’s a text from Jimin asking if he wants to meet up in 20. Yoongi types a quick ok then pushes back from the desk. He leans back in his chair and stretches his arms above his head.

Man. What a fucking month.

He turns his head slightly to check on Jungkook. The kid fell asleep 15 minutes after they’d made it back. His eyes roam wildly under his lids and sweat gathers on his brow. Yoongi frowns and wheels himself over to Jungkook’s bedside. It reminds him of those first few weeks, before Jungkook knew who Taehyung really is, before he realised he was dreaming of Wonderland.

“Yah,” Yoongi says, shaking Jungkook roughly. “Jungkook. Kid. Wake up.”

Jungkook doesn’t stir. Yoongi leans back and folds his arms over his chest. How deep into the dreams has Jungkook been getting? It’s been increasingly more difficult to wake him in the morning. Often it’s Yoongi rolling over to turn off the brat’s alarm because nowadays he sleeps right through it - and Yoongi’s swearing.

“Jungkook,” he tries again. “Jeon. Jung. Kook. Wake the fuck up.”

Jungkook’s fingers start twitching madly, grasping at the covers desperately.

“Oi! Wake up!”

There’s a loud gasp and Jungkook wakes, limbs flailing. He rolls himself right off the bed and struggles to his feet. Once he’s up, he sways. Yoongi rolls back out of the way, eyes wary. Jungkook pitches sideways and catches himself on the bed.

“Kid…”

Jungkook gets himself upright again. He staggers across the room, shoulder slamming into the bathroom door as his fingers grapple to open it. Once he does, he stumbles in, falling to his knees. Seconds later, the kid starts to retch and Yoongi winces.

“You good?” he calls.

He can hear Jungkook panting. “Y-yeah.”

“Dreams are back, hey?”

“…Yeah.”

“Seem real bad this time round.”

The pause is longer this time. When Jungkook speaks, he barely catches it. “Yeah.”

Yoongi rubs a hand over his face. “Ever consider that maybe it’s the book?”

Jungkook appears in the doorway. Yoongi has half a mind to tell him he looks as close to death as Taehyung but - for once - wisely keeps his mouth shut.

The kid shrugs and rubs his left arm. “I dunno, hyung. Maybe.”

“Doesn’t feel like it, huh?” Yoongi rolls himself back to the desk and starts to beat out a pattern with his fingers. He wants to somehow hint that the dreams haven’t been this bad since before - actually no. They haven’t been this bad ever. But the kid looks so tired and broken as it is, stretching himself to the limit to try find this damn fucking Alice, that Yoongi doesn’t have the heart.

“I’m headed out,” he says instead. He stands, grabs his jacket and keys, and gives the room a quick once over. “I’m meeting Jimin. I’ll catch you later.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, but when Yoongi looks at him, the kid is miles away. “Sure, hyung.”

It takes Jungkook a few minutes to realise Yoongi is no longer in the room. When he does, he slides slowly down the doorframe to sit on the ground. He holds one hand to his stomach and rubs it gently. Being wrenched from Wonderland so quickly always leaves his stomach in a lurch and his throat tight with motion sickness. He leans his head against the frame and continues to rub soothing circles on his stomach. He takes deep, even breaths, waiting for the motion sickness to quell. He makes the mistake of lowering his gaze to the carpet and feels as though he may throw up again, so his eyes climb, quickly, quickly, to focus on the ceiling light.

Wonderland is crumbling. Jungkook breathes out through his nose. The flowers were in quite a mood today. The roses weren’t even bothering to veil their sharp words with pretty compliments - and usually they took such joy in having Jungkook stuck trying to figure out if he had been insulted or complimented. The violets were as rude and snappish as ever, tearing Jungkook down before he’d even opened his mouth, and the tiger lilies and dandy lions fought for the entity of Jungkook’s visit.

Jungkook gets to his knees and hobbles over to his bed, dragging himself onto the mattress. He flops onto his back with a sigh and stares at the ceiling. His fingers slide under the pillow and he finds where he stashed Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. He fingers through it boredly, stopping when he gets to the part where the flowers discuss the other human flower, the Red Queen. The Red Queen, who turns Taehyung’s eyes the colour of the pits of hell, who turns Taehyung’s hair shades of midnight while the Suits dance on his skin, who had Taehyung wrap long fingers around Jungkook’s neck and squeeze.

He finds his fingers at his throat, brushing over where the bruises have long since healed. He sighs and covers his face with the book, breathing in the scent of paper and ink as he closes his eyes. The dreams are confusing and vivid, like a bad acid trip. They haven’t been this severe since he found out who Taehyung really is. Since then, they’d been steady and calm-ish, with some sort of order. Not like today. Today, his view jumped in and out like a cameraman gone mad. The world kept spinning, not allowing him to get steady on his feet, and the flowers’ voices were shrill and painful. He wouldn’t have been able to make sense of it had he not become so familiar with the place.

Jungkook lifts the book off his face enough to stare at the growing pile of homework and assessments on his desk. He knows he should attack it tonight - put a good dent in it before it really gets out of hand. He flicks his gaze to the pages of Alice in Wonderland. Or he could study Carroll’s work more, find more clues as to how to find Alice.

Sleep tugs at his mind and his fingers start to grow lax, until the book slides from his hold and lands on the covers with a soft thud.

Jungkook’s eyes slip shut. Wonderland beckons.

Chapter Text

Sunday is deja vu. Jimin and Jungkook arrive late in the afternoon, a few hours after the party actually started. They cross the front lawn, downing the rest of their beers, before navigating their way through to the main living. Hoseok beckons them into the kitchen and Namjoon is pouring shots and Jungkook can already tell this is a Sunday Session made for a Saturday Night.

He can feel Taehyung’s gaze, dark and heavy, on the side of his face. He turns to meet it. Taehyung’s eyes are dark and depthless, and his hair throws shades of midnight. Taehyung leans with both arms folded on the counter. The collar of his oversized t-shirt hangs loose, showing off too-sharp collarbones and a tanned chest. He’s lost weight. A shot glass dangles from his fingers. He notices Jungkook’s staring and raises a condescending brow, then straightens to take down his shot.

Something in Jungkook ignites and burns. 

Jungkook snatches the bottle from Namjoon before Taehyung can ask for another shot. Jungkook tilts his head and gestures for Taehyung to hold his shot glass out. Jungkook fills it - then grabs Taehyung’s wrist before he can drink it. Taehyung winces, hip slamming into the edge of the island counter. Tequila sloshes out of the shot glass and onto their hands.

Taehyung glares. Jungkook doesn’t react, breathing deeply. God, he can’t even describe this feeling but it licks hotly inside his veins, makes his forearms tense in an effort not to crush Taehyung’s wrist because fuck a reaction - even one to pain - would be better than the cold, angry front of the Queen.

“Jungkook,” Jimin says quietly.

Taehyung is fast. He shoves the shot in Jungkook’s direction and Jungkook scrambles to catch it and steady it before it sloshes all over his shirt. Taehyung snatches the tequila bottle and drinks from it, stepping away from the counter and away from Jungkook. He pulls it from his mouth and dangles it in the air mockingly, before he’s turning on his heel and disappearing into the crowd.

Jungkook doesn’t even realising he’s trying to follow until Yoongi is shoving him back.

“What is going on?” Yoongi grounds out. “It’s like the angriest, most fucked up sexual tension ever. Cool it, kid.”

Jungkook blinks at him then searches for Taehyung in the crowd. He’s lost him. Jungkook deflates and steps away from Yoongi’s hand on his chest. He cards his fingers through his hair and his gaze swings down and left. “Uh, yeah. Sorry, hyung.”

Hoseok laughs, defusing the situation. “Well Tae’s gone and stolen our tequila - guess vodka shots are on the table now.”

Namjoon lets out an excited whoop and Seokjin clings to him, laughing as he tells him to calm down. Jungkook looks over them all and meets Jimin’s gaze along the way. Jimin’s brow furrows in a silent query of are you ok. Jungkook smiles thinly, lips pressed together, and looks away.

Yoongi’s not kidding. Three weeks of glares, of snide looks, of arrogant remarks - it condenses into one night. It is an angry, fucked up kind of sexual tension, and the whole thing is a competition of who will lose first, who will lose it first. Jungkook’s blood sings with anger and lust and alcohol (and underneath all that, if he’s being honest, there’s a chorus of pain and betrayal and devastation and worry and -). He meets Taehyung’s dark gaze across the room more than once and each time there’s hatred meeting him from the other end - so Jungkook matches it, even if it starts to confuse him, even if it makes his stomach churn, even if he doesn’t mean it because -

You’re dying hyung you’re dying let me save you.

But Jungkook won’t be the one to give in.

Fucking watch me hyung just fucking watch me.

This time they play beer pong on opposing teams. Taehyung’s eyes are darker than ever as they stare Jungkook down over the table. He makes a show of smirking and tilting his head, of letting his shirt hang off his shoulder unevenly, revealing tanned skin and too-sharp collarbones for anyone to drink in - literally anyone. Taehyung knows how to draw attention, knows just how lightly to touch his fingers to his teammate’s wrist - some thick guy Jungkook’s never seen before - to have him wanting more. Knows how to card his fingers through his hair so show off his side profile as he laughs. Knows how to swipe a tongue over his lips after drinking straight from the cup, drinking so fast that some of the alcohol runs down his chin and he has to drag the back of his wrist over his mouth with shuttered eyes -

Jungkook inhales and looks away.

“Drink up, Jeon Jungkook,” Taehyung says, bracing one hand on the table and the other on his hip. He raises a brow at the sunken cup. “And fucking hurry up about it.”

Jungkook levels him with a dark look. Fuck this shit. Taehyung knows how to draw attention? Jungkook does too - and he knows how to give it.

He grabs the cup and drinks it down, making just as much of a show out of it as Taehyung did. Then Jungkook smirks and looks to the girl standing next to him. He’s partnered with Yoongi, who gives him a slow raise of a brow but steps back to let Jungkook do what he pleases.

The girl is a sweet thing, not the prettiest but - and Jungkook feels awful for a brief second for thinking it - easy. She’s been staring all night and Jungkook takes advantage of it. He takes her wrist and pulls her over to stand in front of him, facing the game. She laughs and Jungkook recognises the laugh, the game. He grins, talks to her so only she can hear as he hands her the ping pong ball and helps her aim it.

“Ready?” he says, one hand finding her waist to keep her steady. He lets his fingers linger over hers before he pulls away to let her take the shot. He smirks. “Three. Two. One. Shoot!”

She misses and giggles, gushing apologies. Jungkook laughs with her, squeezes her waist, then moves to stand beside her. He smiles down at her and she tucks her hair behind her ear. Taehyung stares at him from the other side of the table. Jungkook glances at him out of the corner of his eye. Taehyung’s lips are parted, expression blank but - but his eyes look a little less dark for a moment.

Jungkook stalls for a moment. Taehyung’s teammate sinks a cup and the girl shrieks then laughs as she picks up the cup and makes a scene of having to drink it. Neither Taehyung or Jungkook react - not until they’ve both got hands on their wrists asking for attention.

Jungkook turns away first, smile immediately curving his lips as he laughs along with the girl and accepts the ping pong ball from her. As he turns to take the shot, he notices Yoongi frowning at him. He ignores it in favour of aiming and sinking a cup.

Taehyung steals the drink before his teammate can. He glares at Jungkook as he chugs it. Jungkook feels any guilt that may have been curling in his stomach disappear. The eyes that stare at him over the rim of Taehyung’s cup are the darkest that Jungkook’s ever seen them.

And the coldest.

Jungkook purposefully loses everyone - everyone but the girl. He can’t stand the way they’re all staring at him, judging him. He doesn’t care - doesn’t want to care. So he drinks and drinks and drinks, accepting whatever is handed to him. He keeps the girl close and they stumble over each other the more they drink. He winds an arm around her waist, careful not spill his drink on her as he pulls her against him. He grins, whispering into her ear. She laughs and steals his drink to take a sip, looking up at him coyly.

He lowers his head, presses their foreheads together as he teases, then guides her hand with the drink to his mouth - she grins and tips it up, encouraging him to finish it. When he does, he takes it from her and holds it above his head, demanding more alcohol. Both of her arms end up around him as she cheers and laughs in agreement.

When he spots Taehyung leaning up against the wall with some guy, accepting an open bottle of vodka to take a swig from, something twists and turns inside of him.

He smiles at the girl. “I’ll be right back.”

She takes his cup and raises a brow. “Hurry.”

He smirks, disappearing into the crowd with a wink. He turns on his heel, cutting through everyone to get to Taehyung. He snatches the bottle of vodka from Taehyung’s grip and holds it out of reach. “I think you’ve had enough.” Jungkook jerks his chin at the guy Taehyung’s talking to. “Fuck off.”

The guy rolls his eyes and leaves. “Whatever, man.”

“The fuck is your problem?” Taehyung says. “Don’t you have a girl to go fuck?”

“Yeah, mind if I use your bed?”

“Just give me the damn drink, Jungkook.”

Jungkook scoffs and shakes the vodka tauntingly. He can sense Yoongi and Hoseok lingering, and can see Jimin approaching with Namjoon and Seokjin but he’s too drunk and too angry and too - too hurt to care because - fuck this shit and fuck Taehyung and fuck Wonderland. “Why?” Jungkook says. “Need some liquid courage before you go down on that guy?”

“Fuck you.”

“Or is it so the next time you blackout in the middle of the party, you can tell yourself that it really is the alcohol’s fault, and not the fact that you’re dying?”

Taehyung makes for the vodka. Jungkook smacks his hand away and pushes him back with the one hand. Something dark crosses Taehyung’s face and then he’s shoving Jungkook away from him again and again and again and they’re about 30 seconds from trading punches - the others intercede. They’re both hardly aware of it, swearing at each other as they try to cut each other down with one low blow after another, fighting against the hands that force them apart.

“Fucking cut it out, the both of you,” Jimin snaps, shoving Taehyung back and away from the fight. Seokjin stands between them all with his arms folded over his chest.

“Careful, hyung,” Jungkook says, ramming his shoulder into Namjoon’s in an attempt to shake free. Yoongi’s hand is clenched in the back of his collar. “He doesn’t take too kindly to people trying to help him.”

“Better hurry,” Taehyung spits over Hoseok and Jimin hoarding him away. “Your slut is already spreading her legs for someone else.”

“Right, like you’re not about to bend over for the next guy who says hi!”

Seokjin snaps their names and swears, clenching a hand in the back of his hair in exasperation.

Yoongi and Namjoon are really shoving at him now and Jungkook feels the insane urge to laugh. “Here, Wonderland, have your fucking alcohol.” Jungkook throws the bottle of vodka, smashing it against the floorboards by Seokjin’s feet. Namjoon releases him to check on Seokjin, shoving away from Jungkook violently.

“Just fucking go,” Yoongi snaps, slamming both hands into Jungkook’s back hard enough to send him stumbling towards the crowd.

Jungkook laughs and runs his fingers through his hair. He manages to see Taehyung pulling his arms free from Hoseok and Jimin, bluntly ignoring Jimin’s chastising as he steals a cup of beer from someone walking past.

Jungkook scoffs and looks away. “Whatever.” He spots the girl from earlier - he doesn’t even know her fucking name but he doesn’t care because she spots him too and she smiles and comes over and wraps herself around him.

“Everything ok?” she asks, pushing against him until they’re lost in the crowd and swaying to the beat.

He grins down at her, all teeth and danger. “It is now that you’re here.” He slides his hands into her hair and brushes his nose past hers.

“Yeah?” she says, eyes flickering to his mouth.

He smirks. “Yeah.” He bands one arm around the small of her back and pulls her closer and slots their mouths together. She tastes sour and too sweet from whatever shitty mixer she’s been drinking and - and very much not like Taehyung.

Jungkook pushes the thought away, kisses her deeper, pulls her closer. He feels eyes on him and he opens his own eyes, goes searching. He spots Jimin glaring at him first but he doesn’t care doesn’t care doesn’t - there. Jungkook can’t decipher the look on Taehyung’s face, just knows that it’s dangerous and potent and deadly and all Jungkook fucking wanted: a reaction.

It doesn’t feel anywhere near as good as Jungkook had hoped but he ignores that, focuses on the victory, focuses on the blatant ‘fuck you Kim Taehyung’ that he’s blaring because otherwise - otherwise -

He closes his eyes, cups the girl’s face, and loses himself in the alcohol and the music and the kiss.

Deeper inside the house, Taehyung stumbles down the corridor, trying to escape the noise of the party and the crawl of eyes on his skin and the fucking sight of Jungkook - of Jungkook - his shoulder slams into the wall for a fourth time and beer sloshes over the rim of his cup. The room spins on its axis and Taehyung almost crumples all together. He doesn’t give himself time to regain his composure, instead pushing off the wall. He struggles to get one foot in front of the other but if he can just make it to his room…

A sob of fear fights its way out of his throat and from behind his lips. Taehyung blames it on the alcohol in his system because this - this isn’t anything he can’t handle. He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine - the room is spinning, the ceiling is a field of grass - he’s fine, he’s fine - the doors are warping, they’re arches cut into the walls of a maze - he’s fine, he’s fine -

Hands squeeze his upper arms and a chest presses up against his back, taking some of his weight. “Shh, Taehyungie,” a voice murmurs, cutting through the screaming in Taehyung’s head. “I got you.”

Another sob bursts free of Taehyung’s lips. “H-hyung.”

“Shh, Taehyungie,” Hoseok says again. He moves and wraps an arm around Taehyung’s shoulders, guiding him to lean up against Hoseok’s more stable form. “I’m here.”

“The Suits,” Taehyung says between gasps, His cup slips from his fingers and a distant part of him hopes he doesn’t stain the carpet. “The Suits - hyung - “ Hoseok opens the door to Taehyung’s room and guides him in. “The Suits… the Suits…”

Hoseok says something to him but Taehyung can barely hear him over the screaming. He blinks and his room comes into focus for a brief moment and he understands that Hoseok is trying to get him over to his bed. He manages a step with Hoseok’s help but this time the world doesn’t just turn on its axis - it flips upside down completely then hurls itself back around the other way round and then spins right and grass grows out of the wall on the left and water drips from the lake on the ceiling and the wall on the right is decked with a long, long table and lawn chairs and the screaming rings louder and louder and louder and - Taehyung slips out of Hoseok’s grip and crumples.

Dreaming of Wonderland when pissed as fuck proves to be terrible and horrifying, and Jungkook wakes at a little past four in the morning, chest heaving. His skin is cold and damp and his hands are clammy. They shake as he pushes himself to sit up - fuck, the whole of his being trembles. He shuffles back tiredly and puts himself in the corner, leaning up against the wall. He rests his head against the plaster and looks out over the room with a shuttered gaze. He’s tired, still drunk, and apathetic as fuck.

He drifts in and out like that until Yoongi comes home from Jimin’s at six. Jungkook doesn’t greet him, just watches him come in and shimmy out of the jacket and shirt from last night. His stomach feels acidic and he really fucking regrets getting that smashed on a Sunday.

Taehyung’s image ghosts across the back of his eyelids and his hands curl into fists. Now he remembers why he got so smashed.

Yoongi’s telepathy is on point this morning because he slides into his desk chair, boots up his computer, and says, “you and Taehyung weren’t pulling any shots last night, were you?”

Jungkook closes his eyes. “Shut up.” It’s low and blunt.

“Have fun with that girl last night?”

Jungkook works his jaw. “I said shut up.”

“Tae-“

“I said shut up,” Jungkook snaps, eyes shooting open. Yoongi meets his glare calmly. Jungkook hisses under his breath and shifts, getting comfortable against the wall again.

“Look, kid,” Yoongi says. He sighs and drags his fingers back through his hair. “Taehyung - “

“Doesn’t want me to save him,” Jungkook says, levelling Yoongi with a dark look. The apathy curling in his gut is turning cold. “Doesn’t want any of us to save him - or help him, for that matter.”

“He’s - “

“I know what he is,” Jungkook snaps, throwing his arm in the direction of his desk where his textbooks have been shoved aside to make room for his research. “I fucking know everything but the shit that actually matters.”

Yoongi is silent for a while and Jungkook starts to drift off. He has class in two hours - he wants to skip but he doesn’t want to think about Taehyung and he doesn’t want to see the stack of Alice in Wonderland books on his desk and he doesn’t want to read over anymore notes so he’ll go just so he can forget.

“Are you done with him?”

The question is unexpected. Jungkook stares at his covers, mulling it over. “Part of me wants to be,” he admits, lifting his gaze to Yoongi. The apathy warms again until it melts away, and all Jungkook feels is exhaustion and pain and guilt. He clears his throat and swallows hard. “That’s why - last night - with the girl - “

“It’s all right, Kook,” Yoongi says. “I get it.”

“But you’re gonna scold me anyway,” Jungkook says, bringing his knees in closer. He feels like he’s seven years old.

“Nah, that’s Seokjin’s job.” Yoongi grabs his shirt off the ground and sniffs it. “Still good.” He pulls it on, then finds Jungkook’s shirt and throws it at him. “I was gonna suggest we skip class today and go get a bite to eat.”

Jungkook looks down at where his shirt sits at the end of his bed. There’s a lump in his throat he can’t swallow around and he’s so tired and still tipsy and - he rolls his lip between his teeth. He feels seven but he isn’t. He isn’t about to break down in front of Yoongi. But then he’s speaking and his voice tries to give him away. “Do you think he’s done with me?”

Yoongi goes very still and quiet. When Jungkook looks, he can see Yoongi is thinking it over.

“No,” he says at last, going back to tying his laces. “He tries to act like he is, like he wants to be, but after what Hoseok said happened last night… you rattled him quite a bit considering he’s ‘done with you’ - not that I’m trying to guilt trip you,” he adds, raising a brow at Jungkook. “Ok? No guilt tripping, no scolding. Just some company and food. So put your fucking shirt on and let’s go.”

“Hyung…” Jungkook says.

“What?”

“It’s 6:17.”

“And? The fuck does that matter?”

“Hyung, nowhere is fucking open.”

“…Motherfucker.”

Chapter Text

This time, when Taehyung wakes up on the floor, it’s in his Wednesday lecture hall at the feet of his professor. The woman stares down at him in concern from behind her glasses. Loose locks of hair from her messy pin up fall down around her face and her lips move around words Taehyung can’t hear. They’re not his name, but they’re along the lines of ‘are you ok?’

He blinks slowly, tries to take a deep breath in, and feels pain lance through his chest.

One more class, he tells himself, thoughts thick and murky. One more class, that’s all he had to get through.

Hands brush over his shoulders. Two other students now hover above him. They’re talking to each other, then to the professor, then to other students who are no doubt calling for help because Taehyung is all levels of unresponsive.

Or maybe not. He must make some sort of noise because all eyes snap to him. The two students slide their hands under his shoulders and try to prop him up, but the world spins and Taehyung is too tired, Wonderland is too tired, and his head hangs limply until a supporting hand cups the back of his neck.

They reposition themselves and sling his arms over their shoulders, preparing to hoist him to his feet. Taehyung can hardly get his lungs to work, let alone his legs, and his head is fucking spinning.

He sees carpet.

He sees the lake.

He sees denim.

He - he can’t find - he can’t find -

Panic surges up in his chest. He can’t find - he can’t find - something is wrong. It hits him, the realisation. He can’t deny it anymore. Something is wrong, something is wrong, something is wrong.

The Mad Hatter is rambling nonsense in the back of his brain, and the Cat won’t stop laughing, and the Queen still has her hooks in and she’s screaming and the Rabbit is actually showing himself but he’s so fidgety and the Caterpillar is - the Caterpillar is - the Caterpillar is -

He can’t find - the Caterpillar is - something is wrong.

They get him to his feet and the world turns on its axis. Taehyung’s knees buckle and his eyes roll back and everything - everyone -vanishes.

Something is wrong somethings is wrong something is wrong.

Jungkook runs his nail between the keys, absent-mindedly cleaning the dust from them. The coffee machine grinds away noisily and people laugh too loudly. Most student schedules are coming to a close for the day and the cafe is packed. Someone bumps his arm and Jungkook’s hand falls away from his computer. He doesn’t bother resuming his task.

A blank document stares him down from the screen. In the top right hand corner is his name. In the top left hand corner is his student number. That… is as far as he’s gotten in the past… his eyes flick to the clock in the right hand corner of the screen and he nods quietly to himself, lips pursed. That’s as far as he’s gotten in the past one hour and sixteen minutes.

Beautiful.

“Hey, Jungkookie.” Big hands and slender hands - two sets of hands - put their coffees down on the table. Jungkook slides his gaze upwards then tilts his head. Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

They take a seat, rambling to him for a while. Chanyeol is another Taehyung: voice too deep for a face like that. And Baekhyun looks like Taehyung. Or maybe, Jungkook’s brain supplies helpfully, you’re just hooked on the idea of Taehyung.

Jungkook kindly tells his brain where it can stick it.

“Mm,” Baekhyun says around a mouthful of his drink. He’s hitting Chanyeol with his free hand, then mumbles something completely unintelligible - it’s just varying sounds really - but Chanyeol seems to understand because his eyes go wide and he turns to Jungkook to translate.

“Oh yeah! Taehyungie collapsed in class today or something - “

“What do you mean ‘or something’,” Baekhyun says. “The kid collapsed.”

Chanyeol waves his hand. “Anyway, we weren’t sure if you knew.”

Jungkook looks up slowly. They’re staring at him in that way that tells him they want a response, so he clears his throat and manages, “no, I didn’t know.” He tacks on a “thanks” as an afterthought.

“If you go see him, tell him we expect him better by next weekend. I’ll have three shots lined up ready for him,” Chanyeol promises, beaming at him with two full rows of pearly whites.

Baekhyun pulls a face and his slender fingers tighten around his drink. “That is… are you still - you know - “

Jungkook must accidentally let something slip on his face because the two both go silent, shoulders slumping and lips forming sad pouts as their eyes go downcast. Jungkook blinks. He remembers someone drunkenly calling the pair and another one of their mates, Jongdae, beagles, and he has to say that right now they really do look like kicked puppies.

“Anyway,” Chanyeol says, clearing his throat. He stands, fingers wrapping around Baekhyun’s upper arm to guide him to do the same. Jungkook thinks it is much more gentle, much more tender, than the way Chanyeol pinned Baekhyun’s smaller body up against the wall and bit down on his lip last week at Namjoon’s Sunday sesh. “We’ll leave you to it. Catch ya later, Kook.”

Baekhyun echoes the goodbye and the two leave. Chanyeol knocks his head on a low hanging poster dangling from the ceiling and Baekhyun’s laugh rings through the air. As they exit, Hoseok enters, and Jungkook groans, sinking down into his seat. He can tell from the way his hyung is scanning the cafe that he’s looking for Jungkook - Hoseok bloody introduced him to the place, after all.

“Baekhyun and Chanyeol already told me,” Jungkook says when Hoseok stands across from him. He doesn’t look up from his screen, pretending to be engrossed in the essay he hasn’t started.

“What?” Hoseok sits down, frowning. “Oh. You mean about Taehyungie…” Hoseok twists his fingers and opens and closes his mouth. “Jungkookie - “

“Don’t you have dance class soon, hyung?”

Hoseok sighs and drags Jungkook’s textbook towards him. He checks the title then flips through it to a certain chapter, pushes it to Jungkook, and taps the page. “I do, but it looks like you could use a hand.”

Jungkook chews his cheek and lets his eyes drift to his other ‘textbook’. Hoseok must notice, because he takes it off the table and sits on it.

“You can get it back afterwards. For now, start here, with this passage. That should be enough to start forming your intro,” and then he smiles, warm and bright and positive.

Jungkook sighs through his nose and tugs the book closer. As he reads, Hoseok gets up and orders for the both of them, making sure to take Alice in Wonderland with him. Jungkook watches him out of the corner of his eye, watches as he beams sun rays at the boy behind the counter, who blushes violently and stutters out his trained responses.

Jungkook hides a smile and turns back to his textbook. He doesn’t say anything at first when Hoseok sits back down again. Eventually, he can’t hold it anymore.

“Hyung.”

“Yeah, Kookie?” Hoseok says. He sounds distracted, and when Jungkook looks, Hoseok is flipping through Alice in Wonderland.

Jungkook hesitates. He looks between his two textbooks - the one in his hands, and the one in Hoseok’s - then back to his computer. He breathes in deep. “Hoseok-hyung…”

Hoseok laughs. “Ye-aahhhh, Kookie?”

“…Thank you.”

It takes Taehyung a while but eventually he manages to stir and get his eyes to cooperate. He’s not on the floor this time. He’s in his room. The ceiling fan ticks away like always, pushing hot air around and around and around. Taehyung blinks and tracks his gaze over his room. There’s water by his bed and his throat is parched but his body is heavy and he can’t bring himself to move.

His head hurts.

It’s impossible to ignore and it’s a weird, weird pain. Sharp one minute, dull the next. Localised then everywhere. He swallows thickly and drags in a shaky breath. His stomach is rolling and when he lifts his gaze to the ceiling, panic starts to climb high in his ribcage. The Cat stares down at him, grinning wide and deranged, eyes too big and too yellow. He smiles, wider and wider, and Taehyung struggles to draw a breath.

“No,” he manages, but it’s quiet and breathy. “No, no, no - “

The Cat starts to laugh.

Taehyung’s eyes flicker side to side wildly, searching, searching.

The Cat is in the garden he shouldn’t be in the garden the flowers don’t like him there he makes them nervous but they’re dead they’re dead. The Caterpillar - the Caterpillar - where is - he keeps the Cat - they’re dead they’re dead did the Cat do this they’re dead.

Taehyung chokes on his next breath. Tears build in his wide eyes. He squeezes them shut but the second he does, he’s there, standing amongst fallen petals and severed flowerheads and dehydrated stalks.

Taehyung opens his mouth and screams. He tips his head back as far as it will go and arches his back and screams louder, louder, louder - so loud the Cat hisses and vanishes. Limbs flailing, Taehyung screams again and again, and when hands land on his arms and try to soothe, he screams loudest of all.

Namjoon is sitting with his elbow on his knee and his fingers pressed to his lips, staring at nothing in particular. He jolts to attention when Seokjin sinks into the couch next to him.

“He’s out again,” Seokjin says, running his hands over his face. He looks tired and terrified.

Namjoon moves his textbooks out of the way - someone had known that Taehyung hung out with Namjoon, had called him, then Namjoon had called Seokjin, and now they’re both home from class and Taehyung is - Namjoon slides closer to Seokjin and runs his fingers through his hair.

Seokjin sighs and cups his face as he stares at the carpet in thought. “I don’t understand. He was doing so well, and now he’s crashing again. Badly. I don’t get it.”

Namjoon shakes his head and ruffles Seokjin’s hair. He sinks back into the couch and lets his fingers linger on Seokjin’s back. “I’ve got nothing. I don’t know why.”

Seokjin looks back at him over his shoulder. “Do you reckon…” He trails off.

Namjoon frowns. “What? That he found her? Alice?”

“I don’t know. But - I mean, he was suddenly so much better. And now he’s not. So all I can think is that he met her, somehow, somewhere - “

“And now she’s gone again.” Namjoon runs a hand through his hair. “Fuck. Yeah, it’d make sense. Fuck.”

“I don’t even know how we’re going to figure out who it is. It could be anyone,” Seokjin says. He keeps running his hand back and forth over his lips. “It’s summer. Everyone’s throwing parties left right and centre. Plus we’re nearing the end of semester.”

“So there’s more kids on campus,” Namjoon mutters. He sighs and drops his head to rest on the back of the couch. “She was constant for a while though… A group member? From an assignment?”

“Maybe…” Seokjin fingers Namjoon’s textbooks. His voice is quiet. “He found her, Namjoonie.”

Namjoon tugs on Seokjin’s elbow, pulls him to rest against his side, head on his chest. Namjoon props his chin on Seokjin’s head and draws pattern on the skin of his arm. “I know.” Namjoon presses a kiss to his hair and settles there. His next words are muffled. “And now he’s lost her again.”

Jimin and Yoongi scramble apart - so far and so fast that Yoongi more or less throws himself to the fucking ground - when Jungkook arrives back at his dorm, but he pays them little attention, gaze trained downwards as he closes the door behind him and throws his bag onto his desk. He’s tired and his eyes hurt and his brain hurts and - and -

And his heart hurts.

“Hey, Kook,” Jimin says, and Jungkook glances at him out of the corner of his eye to see him perched on his knees on the edge of Yoongi’s bed. “We were gonna get some pizza and watch a movie or something. You wanna - “

Jungkook swivels his gaze downwards again and shimmies out of his shirt. He shakes his head.

“Ok… Um.”

“Oi, kid, you good?”

Jungkook shrugs and kicks off his shoes.

“You hear about Tae?”

“Wow,” Jimin says dryly. “There was some real concern and sentiment there. Wait. Wait. No. I heard wrong. Never mind. Callous as always.”

“Fuck off,” Yoongi mutters. “Anyway, did you?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, pulling his covers back. He finds his copy of Alice in Wonderland under his pillow and throws it across the room haphazardly. It lands next to his desk and knocks against it. “Chanyeol and Baekhyun told me.” He climbs into bed and pulls the covers up over his shoulders, despite knowing he’s going to be kicking them off in the next 30 minutes. He lies on his side, back to his hyungs.

“Hey, Kook… you sure you good?” Yoongi’s voice is low. “I’m sure Tae’s - “

“Night.”

Yoongi sighs.

“Yeah, night, Kookie,” Jimin says, voice quiet. “Sweet dreams, I guess…”

Jungkook smirks bitterly and closes his eyes.

Taehyung wakes slowly, lashes fluttering. The lamp on his desk has been left on, casting soft warm light over his room. Taehyung blinks at it and wipes a hand over his mouth, pretty sure that he’s drooled. His hand comes away wet - and red. Taehyung stares at it, then wipes over his mouth with his other hand. More red. He does it again and again. Red. Red. Red.

He sits up, blankets pooling around his waist, and stares at his hands. They shake. He lifts them to his face and tries to clean his chin, tries to ignore the way his vision is blurring as tears build. Wonderland doesn’t whistle to him - it screams. And Taehyung screams with it.

The sound lashes out of him violently. He falls back and thrashes about. He rolls, throws himself off the bed and to his feet. He grabs the nearest thing - his pillow - and throws it across the room with a cry. It collects his desk lamp and sends it toppling. The disc of light spirals up the wall and bounces on the ceiling. Taehyung rips his sheets free then grabs his bedside table and pulls at it. It topples at his feet. The jug of water spills its contents onto the carpet.

No, no, no. Wonderland is dying. Wonderland.

Taehyung screams again, the sound choking off at the end. He reeks havoc on his room - sweeping his desk clean and toppling his deckchair; tipping his backpack upside down and throwing the contents across the room. His shoulders heave as he pants, coming to a stop amongst the mess. Hands shaking, he rubs over his chin again then turns his palms up to examine them

Red red red.

He staggers a step, a sob lodging in his throat.

No no - red - no - I’m not - Wonderland is - I’m not - red fucking red - I’m not fucking dying!

He drags in quick breaths and turns to his door. Wash it away. He needs to - needs to wash it away. He takes one step, then another - then he’s running across the hall and he’s crying and he’s bursting into the bathroom and his reflection stares back at him with pale skin and wild eyes and a chin and mouth painted crimson and Taehyung finds the anger and panic from before and he screams again, ripping the shower curtain down, pegging Namjoon’s cactus at the mirror, clearing the area round the sink - then he’s gagging and coughing and clutching at the sink. Red sprays across the enamel and Taehyung sobs, wiping desperately as his mouth.

Wonderland is dying Wonderland is dying I’m dying I’m dying I’m dying.

He hangs his head and tightens his grip on the sink’s edge and stares at the bloodied enamel with wide eyes. His breathing rips in and out of this throat noisily, threatening to turn into great heaving sobs. The realisation begins to sink in.

I’m dying I’m dying I’m dying I’m dying I’mdyingI’mdyingI’mdyingI’m -

He crashes to his knees and sways back and forth, staring at his hands through his tears. He rocks forward, weaves his bloodied fingers into his hair, and screams again and again and again.

Seokjin blinks his eyes open and glances around the room blearily. It’s early. Very early. The time of night - or morning, specifically - where the air chills drastically, even in the summer. He lowers his gaze to where the weight of Namjoon’s arm lies across his stomach. He can feel the warm puffs of his breath on his collarbone, hair tickling at his jaw. Groaning, Seokjin closes his eyes and rolls out from under Namjoon’s weight, away from his heat. He sits up and swings his legs around, planting both feet on the ground.

Something woke him.

He stands, one hand going to the wall for balance. His gaze is fuzzy with sleep and he rubs at his eye blearily, then smoothes a hand through his hair.

Something woke him, but what?

There’s a clutter of noise down the hall and Seokjin heads for it, leaving the bedroom door open just a crack. He calls Taehyung’s name softly, then clears his throat and calls louder. Light spills out from under the bathroom door and he pushes it open slowly, calling Taehyung’s name again so as not to startle him.

Red stains the enamel of the sink.

Seokjin’s eyes widen, jaw falling open as the door slips out of his grip and swings open completely.

“T-Taehyung.”

Taehyung looks up at him from where he’s crumpled on the ground, great heaving sobs making his shoulders shake. Blood stains his lips. It’s smeared over his chin and the backs of his hands. His lashes are clumped together with tears. They track down his cheeks messily. “Hyung,” he says, voice cracking over the word. “Hyung, hyung.”

Seokjin shudders out one, two shaky breaths, chest tight with fear, before his brain kicks in. He steps forward, quickly gaining strength. His expression softens and his hands reach for Taehyung. “Taehyungie,” he says softly. “Oh, Taehyungie.”

Taehyung shakes his head and use his hands to slide himself across the tiles, away from Seokjin’s reaching hands. He knocks his head on the sink and clutches at it, sobbing loudly. “I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die.”

“Hey, hey, hey, Taehyung, don’t - “

“Jin?” Namjoon’s voice comes from the direction of their room, voice thick with sleep. “You good?”

Seokjin sticks his hand through the door and waves it distractedly. He’s not sure if he’s telling Namjoon to shut up, go away, or come here. “- worry, Tae. You’re not going to die.”

“I don’t understand,” Taehyung rasps. “I don’t understand. It was getting better I was getting better Wonderland was dying but I was getting better. Hyung, hyung - “

“Fuck,” Namjoon breathes beside Seokjin, eyes tracing over the mess of their bathroom.

Seokjin blinks and realises he’s hardly noticed the damage Taehyung’s set on the room. He doesn’t care, not now.

Taehyung has gotten to his feet, weight propped up against the edge of the sink as he shakes violently. “I don’t want to die, hyung, I don’t want to die. I was getting better - “ He sobs loudly, knees near buckling again. Namjoon makes to step forward, take his weight, but Seokjin stops him. “It was getting better I wasn’t dying I was better everything was fine - “ Taehyung gulps in big breaths of air, chest heaving as hyperventilation begins. His voice is rising in volume and pitch, panic setting in. His tears build and roll faster. “- why, why, why hyung why why -“

Taehyung pitches sideways. Namjoon grapples for him, altering his momentum so that he slams onto his knees then careens and falls onto his side, as compared to smashing his skull on the edge of the tub. Taehyung convulses on the floor and Namjoon tries to keep him still, tries to help Seokjin bundle him into his arms.

“Why why why hyung - “

“Shh, Taehyungie,” Seokjin says, rocking him and fighting off the hands clawing at his arms as Taehyung tries to pull away. “Just breathe, Taehyung. Breathe.”

Taehyung shakes his head back and forth violently. His heels slide over the tiles desperately, hips bucking. “I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t - “

Seokjin looks over Taehyung’s tossing head to Namjoon. “Help me get him back to his room.”

Namjoon nods and shifts forward. His hands slide into Taehyung’s then his eyes widen and - “Fuck, get him on his side, Jinnie. On his side, now.”

Startled, Seokjin does as he’s told. They lay him down on his side and Taehyung coughs violently. Blood sprays over the tiled floor. Taehyung pushes one elbow beneath him and clutches at his chest with his free hand. He dry heaves, body tensing before curling in on itself. He collapses back against Seokjin’s folded knees, head lolling as he drags in ragged breaths of air.

“I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die,” he repeats, eyes shuttered, body limp. Seokjin slides his hand into Taehyung’s and the younger boy’s fingers twitch around his. “I don’t want to die.”

Wonderland vanishes.

One minute it is there - one minute the sun is warm on his face and the breeze rustles the leaves and the tune of Happy Birthday whistles down the path - and the next it is gone.

Jungkook stares at the black then startles awake, lungs gasping for air. He gulps it down and struggles from his bed, mind a thick haze and eyesight blurry. The sheets tangle around his ankles and he stumbles, hitting the ground on his knees loud enough to wake Jimin and Yoongi, because the younger of his hyungs sleepily calls his name. He struggles to his feet again, palm sliding over the cool metal of his bed end. His palms are sweaty. He staggers forward - one step, two steps - and listens to Jimin and Yoongi trying to disentangle themselves from each other and the sheets. Jimin rattles on quickly, telling Jungkook to hold on, just wait, it’s all ok. But he can’t wait and it’s not ok because Wonderland is gone and his chest fucking hurts.

He tries to draw another breath. It tears down his throat and freezes his lungs so he lets it go in a violent burst of coughing. His fingers wrap around the door handle and struggle to turn the lock but finally finally he’s out in the corridor. He careens sideways, vision getting worse, head pounding. His shoulder hits the wall, slides, and he almost topples. He takes another step, and another, then he’s running.

“What the fuck is the kid doing - “

“Just follow him!”

Jimin and Yoongi aren’t far behind him. Jungkook runs with a hand over his chest, faster than he’s ever run before. The early morning air burns his throat, brings blood to his cheeks, stings his lips. He runs faster, tearing across campus with a chest full of pain and a mind blank with terror.

Wonderland is gone, Wonderland is gone.

You can’t save me.

I promised I would.

Jungkook trips and falls. He skins his palms, tears his sweatpants. He doesn’t stop, just pushes to his feet again and keeps running. The bottom of his feet are raw. They pulse with each pounding against the pavers.

Taehyung, Taehyung.

I’m not dying, Wonderland is dying!

You are Wonderland, hyung, you are Wonderland.

Jungkook sobs, mostly with frustration. He wipes his wrist over the back of his mouth, bites down on his knuckles. The end of campus is in sight. Yoongi and Jimin have stopped shouting after him, but he knows they’re still following. The world turns on its axis and Jungkook stumbles left. He rights himself, slowing for a moment as his lungs remind themselves how to operate, then takes off at a sprint again.

Wonderland is gone.

Jungkook stumbles in from the hallway to collapse in the living room. Seokjin starts and Namjoon swears, dropping his cup of tea. The mug shatters.

“Jungkook?”

“T-Taehyung - “ Jungkook rasps, struggling to his feet again. Seokjin takes a cautious step towards him, fingers lingering on Namjoon’s forearm. Jungkook’s cheeks are flushed, eyes bright, palms and bare feet bloody. “Wonderland - Wonderland is - “ He holds a hand to his head, eyes darting around the room in terror. “Wonderland is - “

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Yoongi snaps as he and Jimin are the next people to stumble into the living room.

This time, Namjoon drops the sugar.

“Fuck,” Jimin hisses, putting his hands on his head and pacing around the room to stretch out.

“Fucking fast, kid,” Yoongi pants. He stands with his knees on his hands. He squints over at Jungkook. “Give us a heads up next time. I’ll call a fucking taxi.”

But Jungkook isn’t listening to any of them. His expression is slowly crumpling, knees looking ready to give way. He takes a shaky step forward, then another. Seokjin watches him closely. He can see it written on Jungkook’s face: Taehyung is here. Taehyung is here, and he’ll find him, he’ll save him. Jungkook takes another step forward, then he’s running again, pushing past Seokjin, Taehyung’s name on his lips.

Seokjin grunts as Jungkook’s shoulder slams his. The momentum turns him slightly and he follows it, watching Jungkook tear into the second hallway. He follows, fingers twisting into his hair as he exchanges glances with the others. Jimin only just now seems to process the situation and his eyes immediately fill with tears. Seokjin looks away.

Yoongi’s hand - one minute he’s - he can’t - he grips at Jimin’s forearm when he hears the other start to cry, but his grip quickly grows slack and slips away. He swings his gaze, uncharacteristically wide, in Namjoon’s direction. “The kid - he ran here - he’s not -“ Yoongi makes an odd noise and cocks his head. He tries again but doesn’t manage much more than, “Taehyung…”

Jimin’s fingers are tight in the hem of Yoongi’s shirt and Yoongi wants to shake him off and then maybe even shimmy out of his shirt altogether - fuck, even his skin, because it’s crawling and it’s trying to suffocate him. But he lets Jimin seek solace in the way he twists Yoongi’s shirt again and again and again as he cries quietly. Yoongi actually manages to focus on Namjoon, instead of simply looking at him.

Namjoon looks tired as he waits, patient as ever, for Yoongi and Jimin to sort themselves out.

Yoongi swallows and clears his throat. He gently frees his shirt from Jimin’s grip, and lets him squeeze his fingers instead. “It’s bad, hey.”

Namjoon nods once. “Yeah,” he says, voice hoarse. He runs a hand over his face. “Real bad. I’ve text Hoseok. He should be here soon.”

Jimin begins to audibly sob, the sound bursting free of his lips, despite how tightly he purses them. Yoongi is lifting his arm without realising, giving Jimin the space he needs to curl into Yoongi’s side.

“We need to find Alice,” Yoongi says, gaze losing focus again as he tries to think. They need to - need to - find Alice. Save Taehyung. Find Alice and save Taehyung. “We need to find her. We can save Taehyung if - if we - “ He cocks his head again. His voice is doing strange things and his lower lip is fucking trembling. “Um.” He holds his next breath, tries to get his thoughts back into order. “Alice…” Yoongi manages a sad, bitter smile. “It’s too late, hey.”

“…Yeah.” Namjoon’s voice is quiet.

The cacophony of pain and despair in Yoongi’s mind is anything but.

Seokjin finds Jungkook standing frozen in Taehyung’s doorway. He brushes a hand soothingly over the kid’s shoulders then enters the room. Taehyung’s belongings are still strewn across the room, though Namjoon and Seokjin had taken the time to right the furniture. Taehyung is pale under the light from the desk lamp, which has since been moved to sit on his bedside table. His lips are red and vibrant but his eyes are sunken and still beneath their lids. A tupperware container filled with lukewarm water sits beside the bed. Its water is stained pink. The facecloth soaking in it has patches of red. Taehyung’s breathing rattles wetly in his chest.

Wonderland is dying.

And so is Taehyung.

“I said I’d save him.”

Seokjin looks over at Jungkook, feeling too old and too tired. “I know.”

“I - I promised him.”

Seokjin sighs. “I know, Jungkookie. But - his Alice - there’s only so much you can do for him.”

Jungkook takes nervous steps forward, fingers clenching and unclenching. He stops in front of Taehyung, hesitates, then smooths a hand over Taehyung’s hair. He does it once, twice, three times, then Taehyung’s back arches - and Seokjin stares, because Taehyung hasn’t moved - hadn’t moved - until - Jungkook - Taehyung drags in a deep, gulping breath of air, fingers twitching on the sheets, then rolls onto his side and coughs. Seokjin steps forward quickly. Jungkook locks up. Blood stains the pillow case.

“H-hyung - “ Jungkook starts to sway and Seokjin wraps his hand around Jungkook’s upper arm, keeping him steady. “He’s dying. He’s dying, isn’t he?”

Seokjin begins to make circles with his thumb. He nods, unable to bring himself to voice it.

Neverland never got this bad.

And Taehyung had seemed like he was getting better. Then his fight with Jungkook and - Seokjin frowns.

There are three very distinct timelines, he realises: before Jungkook, with Jungkook, and post-fight with Jungkook. If he charted them, there would be distinct shifts in Taehyung’s health with medical significance. Aside from that one week before the fight… Taehyung’s health -

“Jungkookie,” he says slowly. His hand slides down to wrap around Jungkook’s wrist loosely. Jungkook has reached out to smooth out the frown between Taehyung’s brows and Seokjin’s not stupid - Taehyung’s wet rattling breaths have stopped. He’s breathing evenly, deeply. “Jungkookie, how did you know to come?”

Jungkook frowns and sweeps his thumb over Taehyung’s right eyebrow. A quiet breath passes Taehyung’s lips. “I - I don’t know. I had a dream. And Wonderland just vanished and my chest felt like it was caving in and my head hurt and - I just knew. So I - I ran here.”

“You just knew…”

Seokjin watches as colour seeps into Taehyung’s cheeks. Another quiet sigh passes Taehyung’s lips and he tilts his head into Jungkook’s touch. Again, Seokjin stares. 20 minutes ago, Namjoon and he had had to haul an unresponsive Taehyung into bed and clean the blood from his chin. They’d had to try keep him steady when he’d starting shaking uncontrollably, teeth chattering so violently Seokjin had been afraid he’d been about to bite off his own tongue - and then he’d gone so terrifyingly still that Seokjin’s first instinct had been to search for a pulse. Namjoon had even suggested that they should maybe consider calling Taehyung’s family, letting them know. And now, under the gentle, sweeping motions of Jungkook’s fingers, life bleeds back into Taehyung.

Seokjin’s expression softens in awe but his fingers tighten around Jungkook’s wrist. “Jungkookie… His Alice - “

Jungkook reads his face wrong. His expression crumples and tears start to build, voice going ragged with desperate terror. “I know, hyung. I’ll find her I’ll find her I promise I’ll - “

Seokjin shakes his head, laughter building up in his throat because of course, of course, how did they not see it how did they not see it? “Shh, Jungkook. You’ve found her, you’ve already found her.”

“Wh-what?”

“Jungkook, you are his Alice.”

Jungkook stares, eyes big and wide, tears still collected in the corners, then looks at where he’s taken Taehyung’s fingers and is squeezing them so tightly Seokjin’s sure it must hurt. He loosens his hold on them to turn Taehyung’s palm over, examining the lines and creases set into the tanned skin like maybe - maybe - he bows his head, shoulders shaking.

“Jungkookie…”

Jungkook tips his head back to stare at the ceiling and starts to laugh.

Then he starts to cry.

That night, Jungkook slides into bed with Taehyung. He bundles the boy who holds Wonderland in his veins against his chest and whispers quiet promises into his hair. Wonderland is smitten and paints colours in Taehyung’s hair. Taehyung quietly breathes magic over Jungkook’s collarbones and sleeps on.

Two months pass.

Jungkook stops dreaming of Wonderland and his grades pick up. Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland lays abandoned in his bottom desk drawer. Taehyung’s hair is candy pink - only because he fucked up and didn’t put enough red hair dye in - and he occasionally still likes to blow smoke rings Jungkook’s way.

Hoseok hands around tequila shots. The group lifts them high above their heads, cheers loudly, then downs their drinks. Jungkook goes looking for his lime. Taehyung beams at him with lime skin for teeth then curls his tongue around the fruit and pulls it in. Jungkook rolls his eyes and leans in, taking the wedge of lime from behind Taehyung’s teeth and sucking it into his own mouth. When Jungkook pulls back to look, Taehyung is smiling that wide boxy grin of his, eyes crinkling at the corners. His eyes aren’t blue, or yellow, or black as the pits of hell. They don’t sparkle with the Lake of Endless Tears, nor do they reflect a tea party to last for eternity.

When Jungkook pulls back to look, it isn’t Wonderland that gazes back at him.

It’s Taehyung.