Work Text:
Sieun
Suho, I almost can’t believe we’re standing here today. All those years ago you changed my life forever in just 40 days. I’ll always be grateful that I somehow didn’t scare you off swinging that chair at you. You just stood there with that same calm and confident attitude that I quickly came to love. At the time it pissed it me off, but somehow that also didn’t phase you. You’re crazy, you know that right?
Between all that life threw at us then, you managed to fill my life with so much fun and joy, but also care and understanding. You’ve always seen me for me. You’ve taken the time to truly understand me and make me feel loved. Thank you.
I then spent the next two years fighting for that short time we’d had together. Never for a second did I question whether you were worth it. I’d give you the whole world if I could. You’re the light in my life. I wish the universe hadn’t been so cruel with time, but I’m going to cherish every moment of the rest of our lives together, and spend them helping you shine as bright as you are.
Thank you for coming back to me. I love you and every part of you. You’re the most resilient, albeit stubborn, person I know. I think all of our friends, and the staff at the hospital, would agree. You’re also the most thoughtful and selfless person I know. You show me that every day in the way you care for me and others in our lives.
I love how funny you are, I love your smile, and I love how spontaneous you can be. That first night you appeared unexpectedly at my cram school, picking me up on your scooter to just go for a ride through the night, is one of my favourite memories. Even if you did get some unpaid labour out of me on your delivery run.
I also love how fiercely protective you are of those you love. It’s a privilege to be one of the people that gets to experience the love Ahn Suho puts out into the world.
You show me your love every day, whether in small moments or in more grand gestures. When I’m working and lose track of time, you make sure I eat and get to sleep not too late. Your home cooked meals, that you insist on doing no matter how busy you are, are my favourite thing and they are a true example of ‘made with love’.
Then for grand gestures, last year on my birthday you somehow outdid yourself. I’m not sure how you hid planning a whole week’s trip to Jeju Island, but you did, and it was such a beautiful trip. Now we’re back here, not far from the spot you asked me to marry you. I cried so much you almost didn’t hear my answer. It could never have been anything but a yes of course though.
You once said, in I think only our fourth conversation, that we must’ve been married in a past life. I’m not sure if that’s true, but I’m so happy that in this one we will be. I can’t wait to take this next step with you. To continue to love you in sickness and in health, and to spend the rest of my life showing you the endless love you deserve.
Suho
Sieun, I don’t know what I did in a past life to deserve having you in mine in this one, but I’m forever thankful that I somehow managed to break through your walls and end up with such an amazing person beside me. You’re the best person I know and I love you so much.
I think I started writing these vows many years ago. The words I said to you in that hospital room, after we’d somehow taken down a local gang together, are still true to this day. You’re so warm-hearted, your eyes, how you behave, how you speak, and your face. Who else comes all the way back to a hospital late at night, tired and injured, bringing ox bone soup for someone who mentioned it in passing hours before? A crazy person like you.
The difference between now and then though, is I now know what I was feeling. It was love. The love you were showing me and the love I feel for you.
You smiled at me that day. The most beautiful smile. And I’ve made it my life’s mission to make you smile and happy ever since.
Your smiles may often be subtle but your eyes give away how deep you feel things, and how much love you have to give the world. You hold the universe in your eyes and I’m going to continue to get lost in them until the end of time.
You’ve also shown me your love through many actions, big and small. Unfortunately the universe has already tested the vows of in sickness and in health in a major way. You were not only there for me when I wasn’t awake to see it, but you were also there for my endless physiotherapy sessions, days when my memory was hazy and I got so frustrated, and the times when it was too much for me to even get out of bed. You distracted me when the headaches made it hard to think, you comforted me when I had yet another setback in my recovery, and you made me feel like the strongest person in the world when all I could manage was two steps before I crumbled into your arms.
And of course this care never stopped. I still have bad days and setbacks, which you help me through. But also, you care for me in ways such as making sure I’ve eaten during my busy shifts at work, or going out of your way to buy my favourite cake to surprise me, or simply greeting me with the warmest smile when I get home after a long day. If I spent every day of my life showing you how thankful I am for all you’ve done for me it still wouldn’t be enough. But it doesn’t mean I won’t try.
Sieunie, you’re so smart and so caring. Your presence is so calming, yet you’re also so passionate and driven, never giving up when you put your mind to something. I’m so proud of you and so lucky to be able to spend my days with someone like you. You make me want to be a better person.
I think other than today, and when I asked you to marry me, the day you ran to me on the hospital grounds, once you knew I was awake, was the happiest day of my life. Thank you for waiting for me. I’ll never be able to fully understand what those years were like for you, and it breaks my heart that I wasn’t able to be there for you for so long. However, I will make sure I spend the rest of my days being the man who deserves to have been waited for, and to love you in the way you deserve. Sieun, my darling, I love you, all of you, and I’m so excited to be able to call you my husband.