Chapter Text
A picture of them goes viral on Twitter.
At first glance the photo is nothing worth flagellating over. If it was taken ten seconds earlier it would’ve featured a pretty steamy kiss, but as things are it’s just a picture of Hoshina, his back to the camera, carefully draping his coat over Narumi’s shoulders.
That’s not the problem. The problem is Narumi’s face: completely, utterly, 100% whipped. Hopelessly besotted. Genuinely embarrassing to look at.
The PR department is a little irked. Narumi is a little irked too, albeit for very different reasons.
“If we went viral, then why the hell is #hoshiro trending on Twitter?” He whines.
Upon seeing the blank look Hoshina gives him, Narumi rolls his eyes and says: “Ugh, you fossil. I keep forgetting you have no social media literacy whatsoever. C’mon, #hoshiro? As in, Hoshina and Ashiro?” No reaction. “It’s your pairing hashtag, stupid. People want you to fuck your commanding officer.”
Hoshina chokes on his tea. There’s the reaction Narumi was waiting for.
“They want me and Captain Ashiro to—why?” He asks weakly.
“Beats me,” Narumi mutters, eyebrows drawn in concentration as he whips up another pro-#hoshinaru tweet on his throwaway account. “You two have about as much chemistry as a dead crab. She’s practically your sister.”
Granted, weirder hashtags have happened. There are people who ship Narumi with Hasegawa of all people. It took only one work of fanart for Narumi to mute #narugawa and uninstall Twitter for half a month.
“Apparently some people are very angry about that photo. Or, well, at least the fact it’s me and not Ashiro in there with you.” He rolls his eyes. Some people have no taste whatsoever, because really? Ashiro? “Oh, and there are quite a few morons who claim that I am looking at you completely heterosexually in that pic.”
Hoshina lowers himself to the couch and wraps his arm around Narumi’s shoulders. “Stop trolling civilians on Twitter. Wanna watch a horror movie?”
Narumi squints at him. “Why is it always a horror movie?”
“Because I am still not over the fact that Japan's Strongest Anti-Kaiju Combatant squeaks like a rubber dog toy whenever there’s a jump scare,” Hoshina says gleefully. “Seriously, how does that even work? Ya hunt monsters for a living, Gen. As far as the kaiju are concerned, you are the jump scare.”
Before Narumi can get rightfully indignant, Hoshina’s own phone chirps in his pocket.
“Please tell me it’s not the PR department again,” Narumi groans.
A very interesting emotion dawns on Hoshina’s face upon seeing the caller ID.
“Gotta take this one. It’s my mom.”
Narumi winces.
“Uh-oh. Am I gonna get assassinated by ninjas from the Hoshina clan?”
“No, of course not… Hopefully not. I imagine she’s just realized that grandchildren really aren’t in the cards.”
“I’m so fucking dead,” Narumi says serenely.
Hoshina heads to the bedroom, potentially to spare Narumi the horror of listening to Mama Hoshina yell at him through the phone. Narumi helps himself to some grape soda from Hoshina’s fridge and continues waging his righteous one-man-war against #hoshiro.
The straw that breaks the camel’s back is a crudely drawn picture of Ashiro putting him in a headlock while a stick person Hoshina cheers from the sidelines. God damn it.
Yeah, alright, fuck the PR department. Narumi logs into his main account.
Time to give #naruhoshi some ammunition.
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
normalize not taking sneaky pics of ppl swooning over their bfs
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
also to all the ppl saying im being straight in that pic: if this is how you look at other men then oh boy do i have news for u
Predictably, within a minute his Twitter is blowing up. More than before, that is.
LORA @powerwordmigraine
If the biggest cringelord in the Defense Force can score a man as amazing as Vice-Captain Hoshina then maybe there’s still hope for me. Thank you @therealnarumigen I’m gonna confess to my crush tomorrow!
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
godspeed soldier, i believe in u
LORA @powerwordmigraine
OH SHIT OK NO PRESSURE HUH???
Soulsucker @deletemalefic
YEAAAAH #naruhoshi NATION WE CANON NOW!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
yw lmao
career shitposter @zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzssss
Wait @therealnarumigen I thought you two hated each other???
TF2PH @tf2postinghours
C’mon, he’s obviously trolling. Narumi is an attention whore, he will do and say anything to get a reaction.
TF2PH @tf2postinghours
If anything it’s pretty problematic how he’s pretending to be gay for views when real queer people have it so hard irl. As an actual queer person I am super uncomfortable with that tbh.
faun singalong @therealfauneeee
Dude is your gaydar broken? Narumi’s always been gay af lmaoooo just look at him he’s obviously a bratty bottom
faun singalong @therealfauneeee
It’s Hoshina that is a surprise tbh, I genuinely thought he has a thing for Captain Ashiro. But hey, good for them. Congrats Narumi, congrats Hoshina, and congrats #naruhoshi lmao
Dr Google Diagnosed Me With ADHD @lordofthepings
Ok but can we take a moment to appreciate how chivalrous Vice-Cap Hoshina is? It’s clearly cold af and he’s giving his coat to Narumi like it’s nbd. Even I’m swooning and I’m a lesbian.
U. Hirokazu @yeetedouttarapture
Tbh if I had pecs like Hoshina I would never wear a coat. Or a shirt. Seriously, that JAKDF promo pic with everyone in compression shirts? I fucking drooled, man.
oolong @iamzyzna
hoshiro fans in shambles, love to see it
Gossameriaa Gaming @gossameriaagaming
Can confirm it’s all real, I’m in a guild with @therealnarumigen and I often hear Vice-Captain Hoshina in the background while we’re discussing tacts in voice chat.
Gossameriaa Gaming @gossameriaagaming
They bicker constantly, it’s hilarious and so adorable it makes me wanna puke. <3
Gossameriaa Gaming @gossameriaagaming
Also to all the ppl being super weird about it and wishing harm upon Narumi? Calm tf down please? He’s not hurting anyone and Hoshina is obv crazy about him, so just… Chill?
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
listen to my healer, goss knows what she’s talking about
AirDash @404snacknotfound
:/ Yeah sorry I’m still a #hoshiro fan for life. H/A actually cherish and respect each other, meanwhile Narumi only ever talks shit about Hoshina, how is that a healthy relationship? N doesn’t even like H... :|
oolong @iamzyzna
idk bestie narumi looks fucking whipped in that pic, he deadass looks ready to drop to his knees and propose on the spot
My Left Elbow @underestittymated
don’t give him ideas lol
oolong @iamzyzna
@therealnarumigen DO IT YOU COWARD
My Left Elbow @underestittymated
OH MY GOD DUDE btw dibs on bridesmaid duty
Final Fantasy Bug @finalfantasybuggg
Hey #naruhoshi friendly reminder to be nice to hoshiro folks, their ship just went down hardcore but it doesn’t mean we have to be shitty about it. Let’s keep this fandom excellent pls. <3
Lissa <3 @respawnrouter43222
Ok as a major #hoshinasoushirou fan I am legit a bit disappointed? Like if this is really what he wants then ofc I’m gonna support him 100%, but he could do so much better yanno?
CTRL ALT DEL @taylorshiftkey
Better than literally the strongest soldier in the JAKDF??????
Lissa <3 @respawnrouter43222
Better than a total manchild. Sorry, not a fan of Narumi! I recognize that he’s super strong but his personality is just… not great.
Triple Crown @reboot-remix-recycle
I’m a #hoshiro girlie but I am actually super stoked for #naruhoshi becoming real. Congratulations, guys!! They look so cute together <3
snaps u away @thanosprotocolz
My cousin is in the Third Division and apparently it’s been an open secret since 2021. I always thought he’s taking the piss but WELP HERE WE GO.
SnugSeal @guttertankpunch
can’t wait for tumblr to start posting 500 iterations of this pic with different filters lmao
Lil’Marshmallow @flirtquest89
POV: you only ever write hatesex and then those two fucks pose for the fluffiest photo of the year OTL #naruhoshi
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
link to ao3?
Lil’Marshmallow @flirtquest89
OH GOD NO BYE IM DELETING TWITTER FAREWELL FOREVER
SBTX @geegeewellslayed
ex fucking cuse me, is CAPTAIN NARUMI GEN OF THE FIRST DIVISION casually lurking in the #naruhoshi tag????? KING ARE U HERE WITH US RN????????????
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
no
SBTX @geegeewellslayed
(X) DOUBT
oolong @iamzyzna
if you look in the mirror and say #naruhoshi 3 times, narumi will appear
i post dog feet pics @caffeinemuses
Good to see #naruhoshi is still in a parasocial relationship with a guy who was recorded spewing toxic shit at a literal teenager in Overwatch. Stay classy.
Rosalia @roseeradiance
hey @therealnarumigen tell your boyfriend to get on twitter
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
i tried but hes hopeless, he told me hes already got facebook
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
he literally trades coffee memes with facebook aunties i shit you not
teehee :3c @gildedcrumbbby
hey #hoshinasoushirou i just realized that we can now ask narumi for deep vc hoshina lore and he will give it because he has impulse control of a carrot
teehee :3c @gildedcrumbbby
watch this
teehee :3c @gildedcrumbbby
hey @therealnarumigen is #hoshinasoushirou a cat person or a dog person??
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
100% cat person, he once brought home a box of 8 abandoned kittens and almost cried when it was time to give them to the rescue shelter
teehee :3c @gildedcrumbbby
SEE also AWW
Mr. Lemon @limonelustre
Ughhhh. UGGGHHH. I just finished writing my 180k words friends-to-lovers #hoshiro fic and this stupid photo is the first thing I see after uploading. My day is fucking ruined. Whyyyyyyyy.
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
skill issue
SBTX @geegeewellslayed
LMAO NOW HE’S IN #hoshiro DISSING PPL, I’M DYINGGG
Soulsucker @deletemalefic
narumi the messiest bitch in the JAKDF confirmed
Sweet Stuff @honeylumiiiii
Imagine working with god-queen Ashiro and picking an insufferable twat like Narumi Gen instead. Sorry to say I actually lost some respect for Hoshina there. What were you thinking, man?
Lord Rythian Ambergold @lordambergold
tfw you ship both #naruhoshi and #hoshiro and you’re just vibing while twitter goes up in flames :3
Angel @velvetcavalierrrr1
Ummm could you #naruhoshi guys chill a bit? It’s not a fucking competition lmao. You didn’t win anything just because Hoshina chose the shittier option.
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
idk man i sure feel like a winner
SBTX @geegeewellslayed
im sorry but narumi personally leading the charge against an enemy ship is the funniest thing i’ve seen all day
Angel @velvetcavalierrrr1
“an enemy ship” lmao calm down weirdo
Hoshina’s Waifu @noir-romance-girl
Dear #hoshiro, remember that nothing is confirmed until #hoshinasoushirou confirms it. For all we know it could just be Narumi talking outta his ass like always. STAY STRONG!
release silksong you cowards @therealnarumigen
the cope is strong in that one
CTRL ALT DEL @taylorshiftkey
HE’S TAKING NO PRISONERS GUYS
...And just like that, #naruhoshi overtakes #hoshiro. All in a day’s work.
Narumi drops his phone on the couch and stretches, feeling immensely satisfied with himself. The PR department is going to eat him alive tomorrow, but that’s a problem for Future Narumi.
Current Narumi glances at the door to the bedroom. Still closed, with Hoshina’s soft voice filtering through the wood. Something tells him this is gonna be a looooong conversation.
Might as well get started on supper in the meantime.
He’s feeling Chinese tonight. Beef chow fun? Yeah, sounds good, though he has no hope of finding ho fun noodles in this shitty kitchen. Hoshina’s pantry is awfully stocked, since the rich boy doesn’t cook for himself much—something Narumi is in the process of fixing. So far Hoshina’s culinary portfolio includes unravelled ravioli, a hamburg steak the consistency of a shoe sole, and a supremely watery la soupe de mamie. It’s something of a wonder how this otherwise ridiculously talented man is capable of fucking up any dish that comes with more than three steps. Narumi, who had naturally aced his home economics class in high school, can only despair.
He preps the sauce, sears the beef, cooks the aromatics, and is about to throw in some noodles (soba, because that’s the only thing he’s found—this is going to be such a clusterfuck) when he hears the door to the bedroom open.
“So? How dead am I?” He mutters distractedly. Soba goes in, sizzling in the pan.
Hoshina plasters himself against his back, warm and solid. His arms come up around Narumi’s waist. Aaaaaand he says nothing. Uh-oh.
“That fucking dead, huh?” Narumi says conversationally. He stirs the noodles and tries to grab the bowl with seared beef without dislodging Hoshina’s arms.
“Mom wants me to bring you to Osaka so she can meet you.”
Narumi promptly drops the whole damn bowl in the pan.
“Holy fuck, she wants to what?”
Hoshina reaches around him and turns off the fire on the stove. He puts his hands on Narumi’s hips and swiftly turns him around, fully ignoring the bowl sitting upside-down dead center in the pan.
He’s grinning.
“Are ya freaking out?”
Narumi is freaking out.
“Who, me?” He scoffs. “Who do you think I am, bowl-cut? Of course I’m not freaking out, don’t be stupid. Idiot. I’m not freaking out.”
“Uh-huh.”
In Narumi’s defense, it’s pretty easy to forget that for most people their parents are still in the picture. Maybe it would’ve been different if Hoshina’s family was based in Tokyo, if every now and then he was whisked away for family dinners or other such things. Spare for an unfortunate addition of a certain annoying older brother whenever the First and the Sixth are forced to interact, it’s always felt like it’s just the two of them, just Soushirou and Gen in Hoshina’s tiny flat in Tachikawa or Narumi’s cramped office in Ariake.
Until now. Because now Mama Hoshina wants to meet him. Holy shit. He is so not prepared for this.
“Why the hell does she want to talk to me? I’m just some dude.” He mumbles.
“Y’know, there’s this picture that leaked on the Internet…”
Narumi squints at him.
“So, what, she demands to talk to anyone that looks at you funny?”
Hoshina clears his throat, suddenly looking sheepish. “Well, no.”
“Then why me? Is she my fan or something? Please tell me she’s my fan.”
“She’s asked me if I’m serious about ya. And I told her that I really am.”
Oh.
Oh.
“You’re doing that thing when ya get all emotionally constipated because ya can’t accept that someone actually loves ya,” Hoshina observes cordially, the bastard.
“Shut up,” Narumi growls. He tries to weasel his way out of Hoshina’s grip, to escape the weight of what he’s just heard, but his stupid boyfriend is one step ahead, arms wrapping around Narumi’s waist and yanking him close. Narumi props his chin on Hoshina’s shoulder and grumbles to himself, displeased.
“This is such a bad fucking idea,” he whines. “She’s gonna hate me. Probably gonna murder me in my sleep.”
It would be nice if Hoshina, you know, his boyfriend, said something nice or encouraging.
Instead he just nods and says, “Probably.”
“Oh God,” Narumi groans. “I’m gonna get shanked by an Osakan Yamato nadeshiko.”
Hoshina pats his back, very there, there.
“If it gets really bad, we can escape through the window in the dead of the night. So? D’ya wanna go to Osaka with me?"
“Wait, I have a choice?”
“Sure, but are ya really gonna say no to my mom?”
Ah yes, emotional blackmail: a staple of every loving relationship. Narumi rolls his eyes.
“Ugh. Fine. Let’s go to Osaka and throw me to the wolves. Narumi Gen against a whole herd of fox-eyed sword maniacs, what could possibly go wrong? Let me go, I have noodles to make.“
Hoshina doesn’t. Instead he leans back and kisses Narumi sweetly, tongue flicking between his lips until Narumi has no choice but to open his mouth and let him in. He hisses softly when Hoshina nips at his bottom lip, the faintest scrape of teeth sending shudders down Narumi’s spine.
Things are starting to get a little heated when Hoshina’s phone chirps again. They part with matching groans. Hoshina fishes his phone out of his pocket and stares at caller ID as if it had personally offended him.
“Why is the PR department calling me again?” He mutters.
“Ah.” Narumi says, still a little out of breath. “About that...”