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Fire.
Everything feels slow. Time itself has stopped existing, or it's just irrelevant. Then, everything burns. Everything is hot and melting together, fire everywhere. And then, coldness. Then hot again, followed by coldness. temperature keeps fluctuating until it doesn't matter anymore, numbness settling in.
“What the hell?-”, She says as she tries to adjust to whatever is happening to her. She tries to remember, remember where she is. Remember who she is.
“I’m…Im-”, She tries to remember her damndest, but the details escape her. She prods her mind for an answer. After a while finally finding what she was looking for. “I’m V, I’m Valerie”, She thinks to herself. Yes, she’s Valerie. 27 years old. Went to Arasaka Academy, got the best education in Night city. After graduation she joined Arasaka Counter-Intel, one of the best in her department.
She remembers all of this, but still doesn't know where she is. Why is she here? She rubs her temples, trying her best. Arthur Jenkins, Abernathy, got booted off the corp, what happened after that…
Oh yeah, she died. She remembers it all little by little. Dexter Deshawn, Takamura, Hellman, Myers. Johnny. She remembers it all. She’s dead, she died a long time ago. So what is this? The afterlife?
Nah, She doesn’t believe in that shit anyways. But what else is this then?
Mikoshi….Alt….Soulkiller. She gets a strong headache, it doesn't help that her body temperature is also constantly at extremes. She messages her temples, remembering what happened.
She gave her body to Johnny, despite his protests otherwise. Confusing, all that. Why be so opposed to getting a new chance at a full life. Stupid. He doesn't know what she’d do for another chance at life.
But he cared about her, she knows that. They were sharing mind and body, literally for 6 months, they knew each other probably better than anyone else in their life. But that doesn’t matter anymore. She’s dead, she’s reached the end. Nothing Beyond this. Oblivion, the void, deep space.
“Chica, I never thought I’d see you give up that easily.”, She hears beside her. She’s surprised, she knows that voice….ugh why is it so hard to remember. She blinks, she opens her eyes. She’s at a chinese food stand, she knows this place. Yes, she remembers it. Little China, Watson just in front of the stairs of the H10 Megabuilding. She looks to her side, sees a man, latino, with a big stupid man bun hair cut. She knows him, and his warm smile. As he’s eating a bowl of ramen he says, “Never expected this from you, you know chica. You’re the strongest choomba I have” He says, half of his mouth full of noodles and soup.
“And you’re the gonkest”, V says as she nudges the taller man in the stomach. “Ay, Ay- I’m eating you know?” He says in mock annoyance, but he really isnt. They both chuckle. “I don’t know jack, s’felt like my time was done. I don’t think I had much of a choice anyways” She says with a sad smile on her face.
“Chica, we both know that ain’t true”, Jackie says, his tone still light. His eyes glowing with empathy and knowingness. “The Lady told you, you still had six months in you” Jackie pushes his fist in V’s chest, lovingly. V smiles sadly in return, she’s missed her friend. “Yeah, but s’all would’ve been a waste anyways. I’d rather Johnny live out his life than me shitting around for another cure then end up dying anyways months later”, V says. She then remembers something. “Oh you haven’t met johnny, he is-”
“I know chica, I know.” He says, grabbing onto one of V’s shoulders and giving it a tight squeeze. “But chica, is that what you really wanted?”
V sighs, blinking hard. She opens her eyes to find themselves sitting in a bar. Neon lights hit her eyes, giving her a temporary flashbang. She covers her eyes with her arm, but soon recollection hits her. The afterlife, the merc lifecenter of night city. The major leagues, that was their dream. “What shit that got us” she lets out a dry chuckle.
Claire approaches them, leaning against the bar table “What can i get you two?”, “2 silverhands”, V instantly says. Her head has started to ache again, a bear or 2 would probably remedy that. She looks at her side again, Jackie staring at her smiling, full mirth.
V starts, “I… it didn’t matter anyways. I- I got what I wanted, became an NC legend ya know? Like we dreamed. Gunned down a whole tower full of ‘saka rats. Made sure the streets won’t forget who I am”
“Val, is that really what you wanted?” Jackie says again. His voice is more stable, serious. V sighs, closing her eyes. “I don’t know….” she takes a breath “I just- I just didn't have enough time to think about that” V says with a slight smile on her face, she’s accepted that she’s dead. Done. Cut off.
“Valerie, you know that ain’t true”, Jackie smiles. V gets annoyed at his insistence, she’s dead. She’s beyond the blackwall. Finally, she doesn’t have to fight anymore. Then why is he trying to convince her otherwise? Why can’t he let it go? Like she did.
“Shit- jack…I know that isn’t true. But what choice did I- did I have anyway?!” There’s a tremble in V’s voice, “What I wouldn’t do to fix all the shit I did. But I got the shittiest luck in all of night city” V’s voice breaks a bit, fragile and remorseful. “I really, really wanted to live.”
“Then why not try again, chica? It’s not like it’s s’over” Jackie says. V closes her eyes again, forced by the sudden oncoming headache, her body still on fire and ice but she’s forgotten about the pain a long time ago.
She’s on top of a building, her line of sight directly opposite of an advertisement screen. “secure your soul”. She scoffs to herself, what a bunch of scopshit. She looks to her left, jackie is sitting on a plastic chair. Looking into the night sky.
She then remembers what the conversation they were having and scoffs, “Yeah right, and I suppose I’ll just ask someone from the other side of the wall to bring me back to life” She laughs, genuinely finding humor in what Jackie said. Though she knows it's not really him, he’s dead. This is all a lie, a phantom sequence of code her engramatic memories conjured up. But time to care about all of that went out the window a long time ago. If time even existed anymore.
“I can hear what you think you know, chica” Jackie quirks his eyebrow and crosses his arms into his chest in mock offense. “Call me a ghost all you want, but you know this isn’t it. I can tell”
“Huh, Well please enlighten me then. How so?” She asks him, annoyed from not following whatever Jackie is trying to get at. Its weird, she knows its really herself, yet she still doesn't know where this is going
“Aren’t you forgetting somebody? Somebody important?”, Jackie says while wiggling his eyebrows creepily. V laughs to herself, what is this gonk talking about. Or well, Who.
“Still not getting what you tryna say, jackie”, V smiles at him, drinking a sip from her glass of lemonade. “Youre such a gonk Chica” Jackie facepalms himself. V gets another deep headache, ugh this is getting annoying. She opens her eyes, she sees she’s sitting inside a train cart. In front of her, a magenta haired woman, sleeping (or can’t hear them), heavily chromed, barely breathing, eyes almost out of light.
Yet she’s the most beautiful person V has ever seen.
So Mi… V finally remembers. She smiles to herself, smiles knowing that she sent her to the moon, that she saved her from Myers, that she won’t ever have to be caged again. She remembers everything about her. From her mysterious relic-holo call right after she massacred the VDB hideout in Pacifica, to seeing her for the first time in her emerald dress. To their rushed confessions in the train. While not saying the words out loud, they both knew what they meant. “Woulda done it anyways”, and V meant it. She never regretted helping Song, even if it meant at her own expense.
V remembers looking into her one last time, pressing her lips onto her. Gently, just enough pressure to let her know what she feels. Knowing that they won’t ever see each other again. Sappy, sure, but it was beautiful. It was the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to V.
“Mi hermana, I can’t believe you have changed so much since i last saw you” V hears Jackie's voice from beside her. “The V I knew would never give up so easily, especially when
There’s someone else waiting for her return”
“C’mon jack, you seriously think she’s waiting for some dead girl to rise up from the grave? Shit, cant even do that” V laughs “forgot i gave my body to johnny. And as I said, its impossible. I’m a part of alt now, not like can ask her to send me back to realspace magically”
Jackie laughs, which confuses V. She looks at the tall man as he stands up from the train seat next to her, shifting to stand in front of her. “And why do you think you started thinking again?”
“Huh?”
“Chica, Why do you think you, as a part of a rogue AI, started thinking all by yourself? After all this time. Gears turnin’?” Jackie says as his figure starts glitching with streaks of Blue and Red.
V is confused, but she starts to ponder it herself. Why is she thinking, remembering, talking, existing? Isn’t she supposed to be consumed by Alt and become a part of some large Ai mumbo jumbo -whatever- doesn't matter.
“Chica, it seems like I realized before you. Somebody is here to take you home” Jackie says as the environment around them starts dissipating into a red and blue void. He comes closer, closing the distance between them embracing the younger woman tightly “-It ain't your time yet”
V suddenly starts feeling aton of emotions, not knowing why. Her eyes start tearing up, teetering on the verge of spilling out like a volcanic eruption. Jackie’s body starts to go transparent as she tries to grasp his body. “Jack!-”
“It’s alright, Chica” Jackie nudges V’s face into his neck “Just promise me one thing.
Never give up, Val. It’s not who you are, never will be”
As Jackie’s body fully dissipates into the void, V is left all alone. She starts panicking, cheeks still wet from tears. The void, The void everywhere. “Jack…”
She crouches and wraps her arms around her legs, hiding her head into her arms. She’s scared and alone. Beyond the blackwall, she’s never been more terrified. She can't think of anything else to do but stay still.
She stays still, stays in that position for a long time. She doesn’t know how much time has passed, if time exists that is. Not that it matters anyways, it stopped mattering a while ago. There is no warmth beyond the black wall, just hot and cold. constantly, invariably, continually,
Suddenly, she feels a pair of arms sliding from behind her, covering hers. She then feels the pair of hands sliding closer, sliding their hands over hers while she feels a body pushing into her, closely and intimately. Warmth; not hot or cold, but warmth. She feels the warmth as the person nudges their head in the crook of her neck. She doesn’t need to lift her head up to know who this is. Of course she doesn’t, it's her. Obviously, it's her
“Val….” So Mi breathes out, her voice slightly trembling with emotion. “Val…I- how are you” she asks, still holding onto V’s body tightly. Like she’s the most precious thing ever, a treasure worth more than anything else in the world.
V chuckles at her question, “M’fine. What ‘bout you?” V lifts her head but still doesn’t look back, letting So Mi hold onto her a bit longer. Not knowing how much of it she can have, not knowing if she might disappear in the next moment.
So MI snorts, “M’fine too” They both slightly laugh at the fact that they’re going through such formality, even beyond the blackwall. They both really are gonks.
After sitting like that for a bit, not knowing exactly how much time. V starts, “So Mi… What are you doing here? I mean didn’t this almost ki-”
“Shhh- I’m here to fulfill a promise” song says, refusing to let go of V. “Huh? What do you mean by that?” V asks, genuinely.
“Jus…just hold on tight okay. Might-” Song kisses the base of V’s neck “-Hurt a bit”
V suddenly gets a flash of the most painful headache she’s ever received, her vision goes out and her body starts searing in pain. She can’t even scream or move, it feels like her whole body is experiencing phantom pain
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fire.
Everything feels slow. As if time itself has stopped existing. Then, everything burns. Everything is hot and melting together, fire everywhere. And then, coldness. Then hot again, followed by coldness. temperature keeps fluctuating until
Until she starts opening her eyes, slowly. A sudden flash of white light hits her optics, prompting her to close her eyelids again. She tries a second time, only this time she opens her eyes to see something that surprises her even more.
“Welcome to the land of the living, Dickwad” Johnny Silverhand says with a smirk on his face as he stands beside her…bed?
“...the fuck…?”, is the only 2 words V can conjure up. Where the hell is she? How the hell is she? All sorts of questions start invading her mind.
“Yeah, Yeah. I know what you’re thinking. ‘What the fuck is going on’, ‘Aint i dead?’, ‘How the fuck is this happening’, We’ll get to that all later. Scientific mumbo jumbo shit” Johnny says while making a ‘yap’ gesture with his hands. “But seriously, s’good to see you again”
V chuckles to herself, she doesn’t even have the energy to ask questions anymore. She just accepts it as it is, she closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. She inhales, feels the real air going inside her lungs, and then she exhales out. It feels good to be alive. Not dying, hopefully
“Btw, it’s 2083” Johnny says nonchalantly, taking a stroke of his cig. “E- Excuse me?!” V opens her eyes and almost yelps. “Yeah, took a while, I know. It ain't exactly a stroll in the park to grow a fully ‘ganic clone body and also bring an engram from beyond the blackwall, especially without gettin’ fried yourself. Went through hell and back to get you back” Johnny throws the cig bud on the floor and then crushes it under his heel. “Every bit worth it tho”, he takes his aviators off and gives V a genuine smile.
V looks at him and smiles back. She feels grateful, grateful that she had someone do so much just for sake. To give her a chance at life too. Her eyes start getting glassy, and she starts lifting her hands to wipe her eyes
“Ugh- Stop getting all sappy n’shit. And stop givin me that fucky type of look. Not like I ever coulda done it alone. Wasn’t getting shit done until she showed up”
V knows what he’s talking about, doesn’t take an FIA analyst to figure out who he means. She looks at him to ask one question, one question that matters more than anything else she can ask right now.
“Before you ask, yeah I gave her a ping. She’d been waiting here for you for 2 months straight, prolly glued her ass to the chair until i had to kick her out. Take rest and piss or whatever”
V chortles at his statement, she’s missed this. Missed talking to the gonk-brained terrorist in her head, who is somehow out of her body. Or I guess it's her who’s out of her own body. But she can unpack that shit later.
“Thanks Johnny, s’really appreciate it” V slurs out, still getting used to talking after not having a mouth for 5 years.
“Yeah whatever. Just don’t start cryin’ n shit, doesn’t suit you” Johnny says crossing his hands but V can see him smiling ear to ear so she doesn’t take offense to what he says.
The front door in the room then slides open, causing both the merc and the rockerboy to look at it. When V’s eyes fall on the person who opened the door, her smile grows wider, wider than she’s ever smiled before. So Mi is standing in front of the door, her expression a weird mix of desperation, relief and shock. She’s wearing a white buttoned up shirt, with a brown plaid skirt. Her body looks a lot more human than the last time she saw her, much more like how she saw her in relic form. Her hair is a bit more longer than she remembers it being, now reaching just above her chest. Yep, still the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen. She raises her hand in a wave gesture and says “hey So Mi”
It’s not long before So Mi rushes forward, at a scaringly quick speed, and smashes her lips onto the merc’s. V is taken aback by the suddenness of it, but doesn’t pull away. She then slowly closes her eyes and lets out an exhale as she starts kissing So Mi back. The kiss is rough, yearning, wanting, like it's something that could be gone as soon as it's done. But they know that's not true. They know it’s not because as soon as they part, they start kissing again, but this time much more tender, gentler. As if So Mi finally got the confirmation that she’s here and she isn’t going anywhere. V slips her hand behind So Mi’s back, pushing their bodies closer. She doesn’t have much strength in her new ganic body, but she doesn't need to push very hard. So Mi just melts into her body like butter.
V feels drops of water suddenly fall on her cheeks, she opens her eyes to see tears trailing from So Mi eyes as they're still kissing. So Mi’s breath hitches, V removes her hands from behind So Mi’s back to wipe the tears off of the netrunner’s cheeks.
Off the side they can hear Johnny scoff in disgust and say “ugh, now I’m really regretting bringin’ you back” as he leaves the room. (clearly not being able to handle the raw lesbian energy)
Both the women chuckle into each others’ mouths at the statement made by the rockerboy.
In a few seconds both of them part, and So Mi’s muddy brown eyes stare into the merc’s emerald eyes. The merc then coughs and speaks up “Damn. If i knew this is how i get a welcome back to the world of the livin’....i could die everyday”
So Mi snorts, clearly still teary eyed but a stupid wide smile on her face. “Don’t need to die for this, gonk”, and she proves that by pressing her lips on the merc’s again. And then again, and again and again. They quickly lose count of kisses and time, as if time is irrelevant. V knows, because they have all the time they want now.