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Akito Shinonome.
What to say about him? How he’s an untalented asshole who deserves only the worst? Thats how he’d describe himself. He knows his own nature. Good and evil have nothing to do with him. He’s a bad person. He hides behind the facade of a decent person. For what? The attention and love he can’t give himself? Pathetic. What a pathetic excuse for a man. Not like he’d ever be a real one though.
Him and Touya broke up in april. It’s October. Since Touya left his life, every month feels like a blur. The hours sprint into days and they quickly shift to weeks to months. Life’s overwhelming, eh? Touya was a rock, a strong thing to lean on when things got tough. Around Touya, he felt the want to become a better person. He wanted to improve so as he and Touya can have their happily ever after.
…
That’s fairytale bull shit. Happily ever afters are for idiots. They aren’t real and if they are, the atrocious man, Akito Shinonome, is never getting one… Maybe for a while he would get one. Maybe he thought he was living in a fairy tale. Those months with Touya… nothing will ever come close. It was the closest Heaven can be to Earth.
The smooth, soothing, dulcet voice of Touya could immediately calm any fears or anxieties he had. The gentle, touch he had could make his shaking stop in mere seconds. He always acted like Akito was delicate porcelain — easy to snap and break. Little did he know how horrid Akito was; the amount he kept hidden. Everyone had skeletons in the closet but Akito’s closet was bursting at the seams.
…
An and Kohane had gotten back together for the Nth time. He had to stare in jealousy at their happy love while he spitefully day dreamed of Touya. Could he text him..? Should he..? The profile always looked so appealing. The name was still the same and Touya didn’t block Akito… right? Eh. One way to find out.
‘Hi lol’
Within the second it was deleted. Yeah. There goes the chances of your prince charming ever coming back leaving. Prince Charming’s gone. He’s not coming back.
How do you accept that?
How do you accept that the man you’ve dubbed as love of your life is gone?
How do you accept that the man who owns your heart is never coming back?
He felt sick. He ran away.
Why are they happy. Why do they get to be happy and he doesn’t. For fucks sake, An was talking bad about Kohane 2 weeks ago! Now they’re dating!? Oh make your fucking mind up. At least when he talked about Touya, it was always positive. He made sure it was. That boy was perfect. No matter if Ena hated him, if Tsukasa hated him, if An hated him. What’d it matter? He saw a side of Touya no one else knew.
He saw a soft boy; a boy who needed love; a boy who needed care.
Those lucky girls. They got the love of their perfect person. His perfect person was gone. Touya might as well be dead. No words were spoken in… 5 months? Who knows.
That’s basically dead.
Maths was something Akito never was the best at.
At least that was a solid.
…
Yet another few weeks pass. That achey feeling doesn’t go away. It’s still there. Would it ever go away? It felt like it wouldn’t. 6 months. Half a year. And yet again, An and Kohane had broken up only to get back together. Clap if you’re surprised. Hah. Yeah. It’s funny totally.
The achey feeling left when An wasn’t with Kohane. He had a nasty habit of forcing people away when they were in relationships. Although he was bad, he wouldn’t come between happy people. Happy people didn’t need to become infested with his negativity, he’s came to the conclusion. It probably wasn’t the best thing to cope with it, but, we’re talking about Akito Shinonome here.
Akito and healthy are two things that don’t match; oil and water.
Now he knew An and Kohane were together, that flame was reignited. Touya. Touya. Touya. His lovely boy. Well. Not his. Matching profile pictures. He didn’t… even do that with Akito. Clearly, he had a new partner. It didn’t matter who. He was envious to the point of hatred. That should be Akito!
How selfish would it be to kill himself? Whats wrong with killing himself if you don’t love him? Touya’s love was the thing that made him feel human. Maybe he could be human in death if Touya showed him that love and care again.
He’s never been so stuck on someone. It’s never hurt this much to lose someone before. Touya. Please Touya. Just text him. You’re not blocked. Hah. Like Touya will ever hear Akito’s thoughts.
He loved someone more now.
Give up.
Akito Shinonome was persistent and stubborn.
It’d take a tidal wave to make him stop missing Touya. Every day and night.
He missed the kisses
He missed the hugs
He missed the words
Akito Shinonome missed Touya Aoyagi
He couldn’t do anything about it.