Archive of Our Own ^beta

Ed was a man of facts and logic, a level-headed and calculating person, a self-proclaimed cold logician, and as such, he did not believe in such things as curses or fate.

However, he was forced to admit, reluctantly, that when it came to love, his track record was so terrible, he might as well have been cursed. If curses existed, which they didn’t, obviously.

But if they did then he definitely was. Prior to his time at the GCPD, his love life had been a long string of rejection and humiliation, and though it had somewhat improved during his time working at the precinct, he figured that killing his girlfriend was probably no better than being rejected.

So, he had killed Kristen, and though Oswald had been the one to kill Isabella, he could now understand that that relationship would have gone the same way as its predecessor had, if not worse. She really was just Kristen. A newer, shinier, riddle-loving Kristen, but still essentially her, to him at least, and he would have killed her eventually. It was just what he did. That had been what Lee had said, during their ill-fated entanglement. He really should have known that that one would end in tragedy. Not infrequently, he had wished that he were able to follow the words he gave Oswald, in the old days in Ed’s run-down apartment, still dizzy from his first kills, that he was better off staying unencumbered, but he never could.

And now, after years of work rebuilding his and Oswald’s relationship, he had found himself involved with the other man romantically which, a voice in the back of his head claimed, was well overdue. His own thoughts, far stronger now, were wailing on about a new problem: namely, how he would keep this relationship from ending the same way his previous ones had.

He couldn’t kill Oswald. Their entire history together had shown him how bad of an idea that would be.

But what if he did?

He hadn’t meant to kill Kristen, hadn’t meant to hurt her at all. He only wanted to explain to her how much he loved her and how willing he was to do anything to keep her safe. What if he killed Oswald the same way?

To anyone else, these thoughts would have seemed ridiculous; Oswald was nothing like Kristen, wouldn’t react like her if Ed killed someone for him, but to Ed it felt fearfully inevitable. He had been incredibly reluctant to enter a relationship with Oswald at all, his apprehensions warning him to keep the man at arm’s length, which he was sure Oswald felt, and he bitterly hated that he was unable to give him more.

Thankfully, Oswald, in spite of his past misunderstandings about Ed’s feelings for him, had exceptionally high confidence (a trait Ed admired greatly in him, loving to see how self-assured the other man was, never questioning his orders and in turn making sure no-one else can either), and, knowing that Ed had, beneath his fears and anxieties, loved him back, had managed to manoeuvre the pair into a situation where Ed’s feelings came abruptly to the surface.

And there began their relationship.

It was mostly smooth sailing, with Ed tamping down his fears and pretending they didn’t exist.

Until one day, when the anxiety became too much and Ed found himself breaking down in front of Oswald who, completely taken aback by the sudden outburst of emotion, could only pull him into a hug that Ed was too upset to resist, asking, “Ed – What’s wrong?”

Ed’s breath came in quick panting bursts, his hands clutching the back of Oswald’s suit in a death grip. “You’re going to die.” The words came out in explosive gasps, “I’m going to kill you.”

He felt Oswald pause in his grip, the hand that had been stroking soothing circles into his back momentarily paused, before resuming their ministrations. “Could you elaborate, please?” he requested, fortunately not taking Ed’s statement as an admission of guilt for some imagined plot against his life.

So, Ed did. He reminded Oswald of his past, of how he seemed cursed to repeat the same mistakes in his relationships over and over again, eventually killing Oswald as he had killed Kristen and Lee.

To his surprise and irritation, Oswald responded to this by laughing. Ed glared at him, but the effect was weakened by his red-rimmed eyes and tearstained cheeks. “Why are you laughing at me, this is serious.”

Oswald gave him a fond look and, choosing his words carefully, said, “Dear, if you haven’t noticed, I am not an easy man to kill, and, while I applaud your ambition, you weren’t even able to kill me when you were trying. What makes you think you could do so by accident?”

Ed couldn’t help but feel slightly offended by that, as much as the sentiment comforted him, “What if I choked you, like I did Kristen?”

In an instant, Oswald had a knife to his throat, the weight of the blade cool and surprisingly comforting against his skin, “You could try.” Oswald said, grinning and showing off his spectacularly sharp teeth.

 In that moment, all of Ed’s fears seemed totally ridiculous, and he began to laugh. Oswald joined in, sharp high giggles bubbling up in his throat as he let the knife drop to the floor. They held each other like this for some minutes, in uncontrollable fits of laughter that slowly petered out, breathing hard, their chests heaving.

Ed’s tears were soon long forgotten, and he rested his forehead against Oswald’s. He was so glad the man he loved was practically unkillable. Maybe he would be the one to finally break Ed’s curse.

He pressed a warm kiss to Oswald’s cheek, then one to his nose, his forehead, that lovely little juncture where jaw met neck, continuing to pepper the man he loved the way he had wanted to for so long. He could finally let himself breathe.