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It had been absolute hell getting to this stage in his life. If you would have told Kuroo Tetsurou that he was going to be in the hospital waiting room, pacing the floors, anticipating the safe arrival of his twin girls with his boyfriend and two best friends sitting with him nine months ago, he would have laughed in your face. Nine months ago, he was in a happy relationship with his now ex-girlfriend, having just celebrated his one year employment anniversary at a well known psychiatry practice, and eating Chinese take out in his ex's crappy living room – now, that same ex-girlfriend was in labor, pushing out two girls she never wanted to see again so Kuroo could become a full time father.
All of this was so jumbled, even for Kuroo. It didn't help that his mind was swimming with endless possibilities as he was practically forced to wait outside until they could give him further news, in constant worry that one of the babies wouldn't make it, that something would happen to his ex in the process, and all because of his own selfishness. He could have burned holes in the carpet with how he begun to pace in the same circle over and over again, his hands could have filled entire buckets of water from his perspiration, and God forbid any of them tell him to sit down – Kuroo hadn't meant to but when Bokuto had tried to get him to sit, he had literally pushed him out of the way. It was needless to say that Akaashi had to help with getting Bokuto to feel better as Kuroo took a moment out of his previously scheduled freak out to calm his friend down. Tsukki had just rolled his eyes and tried to rub Kuroo's shoulders when he was crouched down for that long moment until their fragile, owl eyed friend felt a little better about the shove.
This whole situation would have been different if Kuroo hadn't felt he had pushed his ex into keeping her pregnancy to term. It had sounded awful when put in simple terms such as what was stated prior but Kuroo hadn't been one to run away from his mistakes and his ex had consented to carrying his children to full term so he could have full custody of them when they were born. It was the scariest decision Kuroo had ever had to make yet and he had told his family and friends that he was serious, that he could use their support or go without it – it was unanimous that Kuroo had their support and he had almost doubled over from sheer joy. His ex was not so happy and complained often, frequently making empty threats about ending the pregnancy when she was still in that window of time when she could do just that, and had talked about how much being pregnant sucked, how she hated that she was doing this for him, but Kuroo dealt with it. It was all for the lives growing and maturing that made him listen, accept, and provide for his ex. He had bought her medication, food, rent, and offered to pay medical bills so he could keep her happy and comfortable during the nine months she was stuck with them. Tsukishima called him crazy more than once; Kuroo trekked on.
When the pregnancy had been brought up to Kuroo the first time, he was originally against the whole thing. He hadn’t ever been a pro-lifer in the time he had an opinion on abortion, but he had known that he didn't care to deal with his ex any longer than he had to, especially when he had Tsukishima Kei, the hottest thing since sliced bread, to wake up to every single morning, in his bed like he owned it and as naked as the day he came into this world. Kuroo hadn't wanted to bring a baby into his carefree bachelor existence, especially when Tsukki was the guy he wanted to keep around, even after having just bumping into him at a nightclub a month prior. He was in no way down to be a father at that moment, the news coming as a shock to him. Was the baby even his? The reason they had broken up was because she had been unfaithful, so, hell no, did he want some child that was dubiously his to partially take care of. Hell no did he want to ruin a good thing when he had it going.
The change in demeanor was sudden, however, when he had a dream about fatherhood.
When he was studying to become a psychiatrist in school, Kuroo had written an essay for a final on dream meanings and their effect on a person's disposition, thought process, and actions, and he had started to take his own dream meanings to heart. He had read and elaborated on dreams of parenthood and of dreams of children when nearing a stage in a person's life when they are financially and mentally ready for children; dreams such as these are straight forward and speak for themselves in terms of their meaning. Kuroo had been an odd man when it came to his dreams and had often let them influence him, and the night he dreamed of being a father was one night where he did not go back to sleep. After he woke up, he had to replay the dream over again, where he had done everything for himself, a little boy looking up to him and admiring everything Kuroo had done; it had frankly been one of the most normal dreams Kuroo had ever had but it hadn't put him at ease. The rest of that night, he stayed awake. He went for a run, surfed the web, scrolled mindlessly through his Twitter and Facebook feeds twice, took a shower, started his laundry and made coffee at six A.M. when sleep was officially hopeless and he would have to be up in an hour anyway.
He didn't want to acknowledge it, but it was then that he had made his decision to be a father. He had put his blind trust into a dream that he had in the wake of these events to decide that he would do a good job, that he could do it on his own if he needed. He assumed it would be since he only dreamed of himself and the child, and the fact that he and his ex were broken up. It had been a quick decision and honestly, it scared the shit out of him when he had called his ex to discuss the future of the pregnancy, and it scared him to tell his family and confirm it when Tsukki when his ex agreed to keeping the baby.
"I don't know if I even want children, Tetsurou," Tsukishima had told him in all honesty when Kuroo told him his plan, when Tsukki was told that Kuroo still wanted to be with him, despite having a baby to take care of in the near future. Tsukki was so on the edge that one wrong gust of wind could blow him away from Kuroo and it was scary to think about, but he had wanted to do this, had to do this, with or without Tsukki.
"With your support, I feel like I can do this." Was all Kuroo had said before he had coaxed his boyfriend into bed that night, wanting to feel numb for an hour or two. It was a lot to process and it was still all so confusing at that point...
...And now, here Kuroo Tetsurou was, continuing to pace, hands now shaking and face paling as hour four came and went and still no sign of how his twins or his ex was doing.
Kuroo had to be honest. He had no fucking idea what he was doing, going to do, or if he was still okay with doing this mostly alone. Tsukki had promised to be with him for moral support ("I don’t want to force you-" Kuroo had tried and Tsukki was always there to deter the conversation away from anything too heavy. "Shut up. I want to."), Bokuto and Akaashi had told him that they would help babysit and Kuroo's mother was on a flight from Tokyo to Osaka to be there for Kuroo as long as he needed, to teach her son all she had learned with having him as her son. He had a good group of people with him and behind him, ready to help and aid him in this long journey. He was forever grateful, however this was on him. At the end of the day, this was still all him. He didn’t know what to think. He had felt as hopeless now as he did when he found out that his ex was providing him with two children, rushing to her apartment to see the ultrasound pictures and taking them home to keep. He had nearly fainted at the news; God help him when he actually gets his children.
For a moment, when the clock hit midnight, Kuroo stopped in his tracks. It was the first time in hours that he had taken a moment to pause; so far, he had only stopped to hug his mother when she arrived, get a drink of water, that moment for Bokuto, and go to the bathroom. He had been quiet the whole time and had barely remembered giving his mother the keys to his apartment so she could get everything in order for his girls – it had been eerie to see Kuroo so quiet, so nervous, but the trio sat and kept occupied while there was nothing to do for Kuroo but to let him figure everything out for himself. The others weren't expecting a stall in his ministrations, however, when he did finally stop, Tsukki was the one to stand to try and coax him to sit. Kuroo gave a soft hum when a soft, broad hand moved against his shoulder blades to reach and grip his shoulder reassuringly.
"...Come sit down, Tetsurou." Came Tsukki's soft voice in his ear, slowly pulling him to the couch by the window. The winter air hitting the glass would help to keep him cooled down and maybe enough to get him to sleep. "You aren't doing yourself or any of us any good by pacing." Kuroo nodded at that and closed his tired eyes. Never before had he looked so exhausted than today, feeling so useless, so scared shitless. Bokuto and Akaashi watched from the couch across from them as Tsukishima pulled Kuroo into his arms and held him tightly, playing with his messy hair and gettingng him to breathe with him. If Tsukki had learned anything from Kuroo's practice, it was to help a loved one calm down; Kuroo was very proud after the fact, but in that moment, he was near sleep at the level of comfort that he had felt in that moment.
Two A.M. crept up on the four of them and soon, after watching hours of Golden Girls reruns on the Hallmark Channel and reading every magazine in the maternity ward, an OBG had come out and called for Kuroo. It took Kuroo less than a second to stand and shake the doctor's hand as he smiled, good news shining on his features. It was a weight off of his shoulders and Kuroo had nearly started to cry right then.
"Mommy is fine. She is in a separate room for her recovery, away from the family ward, as requested. In a couple of minutes, we will have two healthy girls for you to meet." The doctor smiled as he spoke and Kuroo nodded mindlessly through it all. He honestly hadn't really heard a word spoken from his mouth in that instant but he knew that everything was okay. As the four of them were led to the family room that Kuroo had reserved for them, Bokuto had put his arm around Kuroo, and that was when Kuroo Tetsurou broke out into soft cries. The wait was over and he couldn't believe it. His daughters were in the same building as he was and it was a matter of moments before he could see them for the first time.
When the nurses had brought two pink bundles in moments after the four men had gotten comfortable in the room, Kuroo could barely keep his eyes off of the little wrinkles moving and whimpering in the arms of the people holding them.
Love at first sight really was real.
He had opened his arms and moved to cross his legs on the bed so he could gently cradle them in his lap. When he was advised not to do so, Akaashi had offered to hold one of them while Kuroo had his equal turns with both of them. None of them had ever seen the look in Kuroo's eyes before that moment, but they would recognize it for years to come – the look of sheer adoration, pride, love. He sniffled as he held the older of the two and softly kissed her little flushed head, laughing through the tears that ran down his cheeks. He counted all of her toes and fingers and kissed the soft hair on her head before passing her to Bokuto and grabbing the youngest to do the same, rocking her a little as she whined. Little murmurs of 'I know, I know' were heard from Kuroo as he had tried to calm her.
In the moments Kuroo had alone with his friends and the babies, he looked at them in their shared temporary bed and shook his head. How did I get so lucky? He wondered and took the first picture of the girls to send to his mother (Akaashi had already snapped pictures of them together and Tsukki had been there to hold Kuroo when Bokuto and Akaashi were getting their fill of their godchildren), looking at them in their peacefulness. They had been fed, burped, kissed, and tucked in, and Kuroo had felt that all of this was just beginning. Tsukki watched from behind the bed, too afraid to bump anything and wake them (honestly, too afraid to do anything with the babies) and Bokuto and Akaashi had pulled out the couch to sleep, the both of them snoring soundly wrapped up together. Tsukki had just about been ready to take off his jeans and call it a night when Kuroo laughed a little.
"What’s so funny?" Tsukki inquired, a hand going to Kuroo's shoulder. It had been a long night and Kuroo's laugh was all that Tsukki had wanted to hear for the past seven and a half hours. It was so genuine, it made his heart swell.
"...I haven't even decided on names yet," Kuroo had replied, voice hoarse from staying silent and from crying. "I read out of a book of names for babies and I found two that stood out well, but...I feel that they won't sound...right, you know?" He looked behind him and Kuroo had wanted to take his hand. Tsukki gave it to him in an instant.
His boyfriend gave a soft smile and rose his eyebrow. "...You mean to tell me that you have eighteen years to spend with two girls you have been fretting about since day one, about bills, food, shelter, clothes, schools...and you are worried about their names not sounding right?" He laughed at this and Kuroo pouted. "I'm sorry, but that is ridiculous, Tetsurou."
"Well, sometimes that can really affect a kid. Sometimes they get bullied..." Kuroo trailed off and looked to his girls. "I don’t want to have to kick some kids' parents ass."
Tsukki was silent as he sat next to Kuroo and kissed his cheek, hugging him close. He took a breath before he asked on the exhale, "What were the names that you were thinking of?"
Kuroo gave Tsukishima a kiss on the temple and sighed. "...Kari and Yumi," He replied simply and watched as Tsukki nodded.
"Kuroo Kari and Kuroo Yumi...They sound like models," Tsukki commented and squeezed his boyfriend tightly. "They're perfect."
"You think so?" Tetsurou looked into Kei's eyes in that moment and leaned in to kiss his lips softly. At the hum of approval, Kuroo smiled. "Thank you."
"Hey, you did all the work. Literally. Knowing them, they'll be as beautiful as you." Tsukki teased and Kuroo gave him a grin before pulling him to the bed.
The next morning, Kuroo Tetsurou signed papers with his ex's lawyer, stating that Kari and Yumi were his completely and that their mother would have no contact with them. It was the worst part of his day but he didn't mind. It was only nine A.M. and he was able to bring his babies home by ten.
He was ready.