Work Text:
Dazai liked to think about himself and Chuuya like parallel lines. They were designed to perfectly accompany each other but, at the same time, they would never be together. It was impossible for them to be part of the same thing.
Unless they did so as two things meant to be side by side but never together.
Dazai liked to think about them as parallel lines because, then, they were not opposites and they weren’t doomed to grow apart. The loneliness of walking together in the same direction without ever stepping closer to each other was much better than the coldness of being a forgotten memory.
They had nothing in common but each other.
Dazai favoured careful planning. He enjoyed the predictions of likely outcomes and small nudges in the right direction. He was patient, he could wait for long time results. Chuuya, on the other hand, could see the advantages of it, but he didn’t really care for it. He knew to follow Dazai's plans and he wasn't stupid - Dazai knew so - but he didn't have the same strategic mind Dazai did. It wasn't his talent, not like it was Dazai's. It would never be. So Dazai planned and Chuuya carried it to completion.
Chuuya was strong where Dazai was weak. The best martial artist in the Mafia, the rumours said. Dazai was sure of it, Chuuya was strong. Not only that but his fighting style was perfect for his ability. He could make a punch harder and a kick heavier; he could make himself lighter. That was likely to have something to do with Ogai-san; he was also a man of long term planning.
Dazai was meant to lead from the shadows, to pull strings and make things happen. He didn’t need an army of loyal subordinates and he would easily grow bored of them. Chuuya was loyal where Dazai couldn't bring himself to be. He cared for people, he took care of people and he wouldn’t dispose of them when they trusted their lives into Chuuya’s hands. Dazai had accepted people under his care would be stepping stones. He had to accept causalities in order to be able to push them in the right direction; using people was a skill he needed. And like that, some people became more important than others.
Chuuya pretended to not take things to heart, he pretended to care less than he did. His mask was scary. He had anger, he had violence but Dazai could see he had heart. Dazai pretended to care, easily praising people and easily getting caught up them. His mask was harmless. He had smiles and kind words but he was detached from them.
Dazai broke down where Chuuya learned strength. He didn't like to lose, no one did, but, iIn fact, Dazai didn't know how to lose. He didn't know how to lose games, didn't know how to lose battles, didn't know how to lose people. Chuuya learned. He took the loses in and pulled strength from them. Dazai could learn, strategically, but he couldn’t keep them inside himself. He couldn’t pull them in and make them part of who he was, and so he let them break him.
It was funny, really. Even their heights wouldn’t agree.
Just like parallel lines, Dazai and Chuuya were meant to never meet, to never find a common point. It came as an absolute surprise when he fell in love with Chuuya and Chuuya fell in love back.
Dazai knew Chuuya like the back of his hand and he knew Chuuya was what he was not. They worked well together, they just never meant to find a point in which they met. They weren't meant to touch; they weren't meant to connect.
In the end, maybe, they weren’t even meant to be on the same side.
Dazai could never explain how they ended up meant to be in love, but, given some time, he could learn not to question it so much.