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rsvp [english]

Summary:

When Oikawa Tooru is roped into fulfilling a promise to a childhood friend, the last thing he expects is to end up right where he’s been running from, back to Iwaizumi Hajime.

You are all cordially invited to the anarchic reunion of a quick-witted, ruthlessly perfectionistic, “mental note: murdering a groom’s brother is illegal” wedding planner and an ill-tempered, no-nonsense, “romance isn’t overrated sweetheart, your cynicism is” fairy godfather as they tussle with table napkins, flowers, and maybe a little bit of feelings, one romcom cliché and Murphy’s law at a time.

Or, alternatively, the universe is a diabolical Cupid abundantly bored to set two not-so-strangers up on the most fortuitous parent trap as told through a series of tweets, social media cold wars, and texts.

Notes:

initially published on twitter back in 2021 as a social media au set in the philippines <33

Chapter Text

INSTAGRAM

 

blazingbokuto ✔

(PHOTO: taken from the point of view of Koutaro showing off Keiji's hand, a diamond ring on his finger, while Keiji covers his face with the other hand.)

THE QUESTION IS MARRIAGE AND THE ANSWER IS YES!!! THE WORLD IS MINE, NO BACKSIES NOW @keiji.akaashi 💪😭❤️

31, 759 likes

July 1

tetzkuroo THE man, everybody. 🍾

9h

sawamuradaichi Congrats Blake and @keiji.akaashi!

33m

miyatsumu ✔ AND I’M FINDING OUT AT THE SAME TIME AS THE WORLD. SEND A FUCKING EMAIL, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

23m

tsukikei You’re officially the craziest person I know, @keiji.akaashi.

17m

View all 13, 602 comments



keiji.akaashi

(PHOTO: taken from the point of view of Keiji, his hand being kissed by Koutaro.)

Ours, now.

756 likes

Jul 2

sgwrkoushi WELCOME TO THE CLUB 🎉🎉🎉

48m

kodzuken ✔ u fool, ‘grats.

33m

sweetsatori about time 💐

26m

haibalisa ✔ OMG OMG OMG!!! 🥂💓

14m

sunarindump 🔒 now, THAT'S news. catch me up soon 😘

View all 321 comments



✎✐



TWITTER

 

FOCUS ✔ @focusmag

Koutaro Bokuto announces his recent engagement with long-time boyfriend, Keiji Akaashi, in a tender Instagram post. Other members of his Olympics family express their congratulations and best wishes for the couple!

13:35 02/07/2021

27K Retweets 6.4K Quote Tweets 39K Likes



Queerly ✔ @justqueerthings 

MSBY Black Jackals wing spiker, Koutaro Bokuto, scores wins not just in the ring, but also in the hearts of our entire community. Queerly wishes the couple a happy engagement!

13:36 02/07/2021

16K Retweets 4.6K Quote Tweets 28K Likes




✎✐



02:47 AM

Friday, July 02

 

Notification Center

 

MESSENGER now

world tour

Koushi mentioned you: the world could be ending and @Tooru would sleep thru it lol

 

MESSAGES 1m ago

KOUMAN 🦸🏻

RURUUUUU



✎✐

 

MESSENGER

 

world tour

July 2, 2:47 AM

 

Koushi:

the world could be ending and @Tooru would sleep thru it lol

 

Alisa:

@Tooru golden boy wyaaa

shocks wait, what time IS it there @Satori?

 

Satori:

HAJSHAHSHAHAHHA

GIRL WHAT YEAR R U IN 😭😭

 

Tooru:

pusiste un maldito cartel de no molestar en la puerta

¿Y lo dejan así?

NO

ENTRAN NO SON BIENVENIDOS Y SUBEN COMO EL LUGAR ES EL PROPIETARIO

Y por el amor de Dios cuántas veces tengo que reiterar

 

Alisa:

um

 

Satori:

honey, spanish keyboard’s on

 

Koushi:

at least have the decency to swear at us when we can understand u

 

Tooru:

my apologies

dearest fanclub,

 

stfu

 

all the love, o.t. <33

and i’ve been in argentina for a year now @Alisa do pls Keep Up

 

Atsumu:

WERE YOU ACTUALLY OUT PARTYING ALL NIGHT 

U?????? WITH A LIFE?????????

HOLY SHIT THE WORLD *IS* ENDING

 

Tooru:

foremost, go off yourself

second

don’t lump me in w/ ur sort who’s more ‘animal’ than ‘party’

 

Koushi:

somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed

 

Tooru:

haven’t been on the bed long enough to wake up on any side 

UGH

 

Keiji: 

I’m sorry for the commotion, Kuya (Filipino honorific for older brother).

Please get some rest.

 

Tooru:

on second thought, i forgot to put away some laundry

thanks for the service of resurrecting me from the throes of slumber

 

Atsumu:

DAMAGE FUCKING DONE MOOD KILLER

 

Tooru:

hoe ,, i ain’t your sugar daddy

I am not in the MOOD to satisfy ur constant need for Attention

 

Atsumu:

🖕

 

Keiji:

Haha! It’s really okay.

 

Tooru:

nonsense!!

never too busy for some tête-à-tête w/ uuu 🤸

 

Satori:

only u would say that in a casual virtual conversation

w/o even using it right

this is a GROUP chat

 

Tooru:

like i haven’t learned to phase the rest of u out of my sight at will for 6 years

 

Alisa:

blatant favoritism in this household aside, why WERE u just about to sleep young man? 🤨

 

Satori:

oh we’re still asking astro boy that question? in this economy??

 

Koushi:

gonna throw a bone and bet he got held up by a work thing

 

Tooru:

shoot ran late

last minute touch-ups for the season

 

Satori:

DING DING DING DING

we have a winner

 

Koushi:

(MEME: “what did i tell ya”)

 

Tooru:

so where is it

 

Atsumu:

where’s what 😇

 

Tooru:

the insult at the tail end of that “bone” that u’re obviously dying to let out

 

Atsumu:

RUDE

this is why an actual 🐒 has more business than u LMAO

 

Tooru:

u mean U?

 

Atsumu:

tf did u SAY

 

Koushi is video calling world tour…

 

Koushi:

just bring that catfight in here you two

Seen by everyone.

 

 

✎✐



MESSAGES

 

KOUMAN 🦸🏻

July 2, 2:46 AM

 

Koutaro:

RURUUUUU

ARE YOU UP YET

 

Today at 2:52 AM

 

Tooru:

U LIL SHIT

I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU !!!!!!!!

 

Koutaro:

[GIF: tearful “thank you”]

STILL FEELS LIKE I’M DREAMING

 

Tooru:

yet u had the gall to doubt my intuition

i TOLD u he'd say YES

when have i ever set u up for disappointment

 

Koutaro:

or maybe he just loved me too much not to embarrass me in front of a hundred people in the restaurant 〒﹏〒

DID YOU KNOW I DROPPED THE RING FIVE TIMES?????

HE EVEN PICKED IT UP ON THE FOURTH

(MEME: head in hands)

wait

you don’t think he just said yes because we were in a public place right??????

SHIT YOU DON’T THINK I FORCED HIM TO RIGHT?!!?!??!?

WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING

 

Tooru:

oh calm your horses

the occasion just called for a glass of my best sauvignon

plus i need to send myself into a coma after this so

(PHOTO: hand holding a wine glass in a toast) 

cheers

and NO doofus

the only one thinking that is U

matter of fact we're in a conference call rn

trust me, this is the happiest i've seen him

he said yes bcuz HE LOVES U ok?????

end of discussion 🥊🥊

 

Koutaro:

really? :(((

 

Tooru:

would i lie 2 u?

 

Koutaro:

to spare my feelings?

without hesitation

 

Tooru:

🙄

fine u practically Held Him @ Gunpoint

 

Koutaro:

RURUUU

 

Tooru:

I’M KIDDING JEEZ

 

Koutaro:

hehehe

OKAY

[GIF: man banging on his chest with a fist, pointing at the camera, and saying “I believe you.”] 

ANYWAY

now it's time for YOU to hold up the end of your bargain ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧ 

 

Tooru:

?

what bargain

 

Koutaro:

you promised, remember? you’re coming home for the wedding

 

Tooru:

HAHAHA no

kuroo's practically staked his claim over the best man title & i am NOT interested in squabbling w/ another five-year old

 

Koutaro:

HAHAHAHA!

no, silly 🤣

our contract!!!! from when we were in third grade!!!!!

we had your ate (Filipino honorific for older sister) witness us sign it and everything 🤣🤣

 

Tooru:

..

no

NO

NONONO NO NOOOO

ABSOLUTELY NOT

 

Koutaro:

[PHOTO: aged contract signed in crayon between Koutaro and Tooru]

the evidence doesn’t lie, chief

THOU SHALT BE OUR WEDDING PLANNER 😏

Read 3:03 AM



✎✐

 


CHARACTER PROFILES:


Keiji Akaashi (24)

aka the GROOM-IN-CHARGE


  • Editor for OWLS Publishing
  • met Koutaro Bokuto through Tooru Oikawa
  • has been dating said boyfriend for 4 years
  • just wants to get married in peace

Koutaro Bokuto (27)

aka the CHAOTIC GROOM


  • MSBY Black Jackals #12
  • Tooru Oikawa’s childhood friend
  • whipped for his fiance
  • every wedding planner’s worst nightmare




✎✐



TWITTER

 

ALTURAS ✔ @revistaalturas

Tooru Oikawa se despide de la agencia “ALTURAS” después de que finaliza el contrato de un año. Deseamos los mejores esfuerzos para el modelo.

(Tweet translated) (Tooru Oikawa bids goodbye to the “HEIGHTS” agency after one-year contract ends. We wish the model best endeavors in the future.)

10:38 09/07/2021

13K Retweets 756 Quote Tweets 15.7K Likes



✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORIES

 

xtratoorustrial 2d ago ‘til next time 🇦🇷

 

xtratoorustrial 12m ago touchdown ig 



✎✐

 

MESSAGES

 

kej

July 13, 12:15 PM

 

Keiji:

Kuya.

7 pm tonight, okay?

Just reminding! Sorry, haha.

 

Hajime:

hey i promised, didn’t i?

i’ll be there.



✎✐



July 13, 2021

8:54 PM

 

“Where?!”

Tooru cringes at the volume of his best friend's voice through the phone attached to his ear. He could already imagine a head full of frosted tips whipping around in eager search.

“Entrance—hold on,” momentarily moving the screen away and covering the mic, he inquires, "Reservation for Akaashi?"

He presses the device back to his hearing range where Koutaro is already bellowing out offers to fetch him as an attendant leads Tooruthrough a maze of tables. “No need, I’m being ushered as we speak. I'll see you in a bit—Oh, there you are!”

He waves to catch Koutaro's attention. The latter visibly perks up and drops the phone on the table and Tooru winces at the resulting loud clatter on his end.

“HEY HEY HEY!” Koutaro bounds towards him and engulfs him in a hug, incognizant of the judgmental looks thrown at them for the lack of propriety. “You came!”

"So noisy!" Tooru slaps him on the back. “Me? Flake? Nunca!

Koutaro pulls away and drags him to where Keiji was standing with a polite smile. “Kuya Tooru.”

He embraces Keiji next. Tooru's always had a soft spot for him and he wonders what kind of monumentally heroic deed his best friend did in a past life to have won the lottery in this one.

“It's fantastic to see you again.” He clamps his hands over the younger man's shoulders upon parting. “How are you? This doofus treating you well?”

“As well as long-distance can get,” Keiji replies, gesturing at the four remaining empty chairs. “Shall we? My brother's just seeing my mom off—”

None of the three notices the approaching figure until a low, painfully familiar, voice speaks up from behind them. “Hey, Bokuto's folks offered to give Tita (Filipino honorific for auntie) a ride home—”

Tooru has never experienced true whiplash until he spins to trace the voice back to a pair of green eyes that definitely do not belong to a stranger.

For the first time in six years, the universe has delivered him once again a monumental fuck you.

 

 

✎✐

 

 

MESSAGES

 

publicist (unfortunately)

July 13, 9:10 PM

 

Tooru:

PICK MW UP

HEY❗❗❗ ANSWER

MAKI STOP BINGE-WATCHING R*VERDALE 

IT'S A SHITSHOW

 

Takahiro:

from what i'm seeing ur life more is

 

Tooru:

TAKAHIRO

 

Takahiro:

ughhh wut

 

Tooru:

PICK ME UP

 

Takahiro:

??

thought u had that dinner thing

 

Tooru:

I AM @ THE DINNER THING

HE'S HERR 

*HERE

 

Takahiro:

yyyeah u myt need to clarify

 

Tooru:

U KNOW WHO

 

Takahiro:

aint gonna pretend i do so

byeeee

 

Tooru:

HAJIME

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

Read 9:14 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

takahiro @californiamaki

[RECORD SCRATCH]

21:15 13/07/21



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

publicist (unfortunately)

 

Takahiro:

oh shit

OH SHIT

screw dem horny teens. irl drama just went 📈📈📈

 

Tooru:

FJANGJWJGJSKF

 

Takahiro:

HAHAHAHA

chill

 

Tooru:

i can’t!!!!!! 

HE SAW ME!!!!!!!!!

hNgGGG

 

Takahiro:

he still hot?

 

Tooru:

MAKI

 

Takahiro:

stingy

no need to get all defensive i was just asking

y r u freaking out anw u just saw eo so what

it’s not like he's the one u’ll be dining w/ lmao

Read at 9:21 pm.

 

Takahiro:

no fucking way

HAJSHAHAHAHAHAHQHQHDJWJD

he IS, isn’t he???

 

Tooru:

🙃



✎✐



TWITTER

 

takahiro @californiamaki

now THAT’S how you do a Plot Twist 💯

21:24 13/07/2021

takahiro @californiamaki   2m

replying to @californiamaki

@Netflix enough w/ the softcore porn, take notes rn

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   1m

Replying to @californiamaki

CAPITALIZE ON ME L8R????? REPLY?????



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

publicist (unfortunately)

 

Takahiro:

i know i said ur life is a shitshow

but damn

what beef do u have with sky daddy to make him this angy

 

Tooru:

HE'S AKAASHI KEIJI'S BROTHER

look idc anymore just get me THE HELL OUT of here

 

Takahiro:

aww what’s the matter, honey?

ghost of uni past making u go weak in the knees? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Tooru:

SCREW U HE’S NOT MAKIGN ME FEEL SHIT

it’s just

unprecedented

OK????

 

Takahiro:

👀

 

Tooru:

fine

FINE

i’ll SHOW u unbothered

don’t come i don’t NEED u

 

Takahiro:

¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

put the best show u’ve got on, rockstar

Read 9:27 PM

 

✎✐

 

July 13, 2021

9:30 PM

 

Tooru is not amused.

It hasn't even been ten minutes since he slid into a chair and got down to business when he already feels prickly in the stuffy environment. He twirls the pen in his fingers and re-reads the item on his binder for the fifth time.

“Kuya Tooru, it can wait until after the food’s here,” Keiji advises.

Tooru adjusts the glasses back up to the bridge of his nose and smiles at the thoughtfulness. “It's fine, I’m used to working dinners. Plus we could get this out of the way, sooner.”

He checks the time on his wrist watch, counting the minutes since Koutaro was swayed by a few fans who recognized him in the restaurant to grant a mini photo op. Ugh, where’s that little pain in the ass?

“What's the rush?”

In his industry, Tooru was trained to master the skill of controlling his reaction to external distractions; a skill he employs in his current predicament as instead of responding on instinct, he allows himself to count to three before meeting the gaze of their fourth uninvited member of the party.

Hajime is sitting across from him, shoulders relaxed and expression impassive, though the pleased glint in his eyes does not go unnoticed. Tooru stonily regards him, chary not to show signs of being anything other than neutral.

Despite the absence of a smirk, Hajime's tone lilts all the same. “We've got all night.”

Tooru grips the pen so tight that for a moment, he considers stabbing Keiji's brother in the eye, until Koutaro saves him from the murderous urge when he plops down on the seat beside him. 

“I'm back—”

“Good. Shall we begin?” Damn you, Takahiro. Damn you to hell and back.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

takahiro @californiamaki

@xtratoorustrial don’t forget to order *actual* food. words aren’t exactly a nutrient-dense meal lol

21:36 13/07/2021

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   1m

Replying to @californiamaki

🖕



✎✐



July 13, 2021

9:54 PM

 

“No.”

“Ruru!”

“Kou.”

The latter petulantly whines and if Tooru isn't five seconds away from strangling his best friend, he would've joked about the finality of Keiji's choice of groom. “No fair! You didn’t have a problem organizing Sugawara’s and Daichi's two years ago!”

“That's different. You're asking me to plan a wedding in two months.”

When this only earns him more whining, he turns to the younger of the couple for an explanation. Keiji, whom Tooru expects to see the absurdity of the idea, merely supplies, “His training picks back up in September and—”

“And the team’s about to be based in London for the next six months! Kej’s always wanted to go there! Right, mahal (Filipino term of endearment meaning "love")?”

‘Mahal’ only blushes at the pet name and reprimands his fiancé with a stern look, side-eyeing his older brother who seems intent on just humoredly watching. Surprised he isn’t doling out a peep over this.

“The more reason why both of you should think about this more conscientiously.” Tooru straightens in alarm. “Are you sure you’re not just rushing into this because of convenience?”

“Actually,” Keiji clarifies, folding his hands together. “We've been discussing marriage for a year now and the circumstances coinciding just seems—”

“Like destiny!” Koutaro exclaims, eyes sparkling in excitement. This garners more sneers from the other customers to whom Hajime apologizes with a sheepish bow of his head.

“Destiny,” Tooru deadpans.

Keiji nods, albeit a little too seriously, compared to the overly enthusiastic one Koutaro gives. Tooru stares at them for a while before raising a single finger to ask for a moment and pulling out his phone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

[MEME: woman looking at her screen in disgust]

21:58 12/07/2021

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

destiny my aSS, BITCH I GOT MORE THAN ONE BONE TO PICK W/ U



✎✐



“Please, Ruru? You’re the only person we could trust with this.” Koutaro weaponizes his signature pa-cute pout that really only sells because of his big, owlish eyes. “For your best friend?”

Tooru sighs, removing his glasses to massage his throbbing temples. This is a suicide mission; he knows it. Sure, he's not a professional but he's good. The Sugawara-Sawamura union was the pinnacle of Pinterest perfection. Actual event organizers have sent him letters constituted by commendations penned with envy and supplications for his tutelage. He can no longer provide a figure for all the celebrities who had enlisted his office whom he ‘lamentably’ had to decline. Magazines, websites, and blogs launched panegyrics on his creative eye (of course, the features predominantly had to do more with who he is as bespoke his product of labor and love being labeled as a hobby) and christened him as the modern-day Fairy Godfather.

Two months? It's like asking him to hold a red carpet gala inside a barn. 

He can, needless to say, but that’s of little account.

“Unless, of course, you can't do it.”

The (again, uninvited) theory rouses the beast whose vessel has been placating to sleep before it corrodes the moral compass chaining it to bed, an icy stare flitting to the interposer with calculated speed.

“If it's that impossible for you to pull the thing off, we’re above coercing you to.” Hajime shrugs and lifts his wine glass. “We can always find someone who’s more qualified for the job.”

The provocation drips in copious volumes from the words, amplified by the way the corner of his mouth curls upward around the rim of the glass. Oh, the beast thrashes in its restraints beneath the apathetic calm its detainer has groomed his countenance to portray.

Keiji worriedly glances between challenger and the challenged, locked in a competitive staredown. “Kuya—”

“I'll do it.” Tooru stabs his cutlery into the complimentary bread, wearing the sardonic grin indicative of an impending slaughter,  “Like Koutaro said, no one else is a better fit.”

Hajime raises his glass in a silent toast. “Then I guess we'll be seeing more of each other, mister planner.”



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

.. well well well

23:31 13/07/2021

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

guess WHOOO just set himself up like a pig for slaughter :D


✎✐

 

 

MESSENGER

 

tricycle

July 13, 11:33 PM

 

Koutaro:

got home okay @Tooru?

 

Tooru:

slr !!

i did :D

 

Keiji:

Good to hear! Did Kuya Hajime drop you off?

 

Tooru:

oh, i took a cab HAHAHA

it was out of the way

 

Keiji:

But I thought he said he would? 

 

Tooru:

yeaaah

i actually remembered that 

there’s somewhere

i still needed to stop by 

i didn’t want to hassle him so

 

Keiji:

You wouldn’t have.

Let us give you a ride next time, okay?

Thank you again for coming by the way :)

 


Tooru:

don't mention it 😉

i presume u two will be handling the paperwork?

 

Keiji:

We’ll get to it as soon as Thursday.

 

Tooru:

efficient as ever 💯

i'll be counting on U then

i don’t bank on that doofus being of much contribution

 

Koutaro:

THAT DOOFUS

IS RIGHT HERE 😠

NO SLANDERING MY NAME TO MY FIANCE

I’M PLENTY HELPFUL!!!! YOU’RE JUST BEING MEAN!!!!

 

Tooru:

who completed the signatories for YOUR high school graduation clearance again 🤔

 

Koutaro:

HEY I HANDLED THE SIGNATORY FOR PE

 

Tooru:

because that's the ONLY class u ATTEND u big oaf 🔫 😄

 

Keiji:

No worries! We'll manage.

Won't we, darling? :)

 

Koutaro:

(• ▽ •;)

WELP THAT’S A LOVING THREAT IF I’VE EVER SEEN ONE

your wish is my command, future mister akaashi-bokuto 🥰

 

Tooru:

[GIF: gagging]

 

Keiji:

Ah, Kuya Tooru. I'm sorry about my brother.

He's not usually like that.

 

Koutaro:

OH YEAH

DINNER SEEMED INTENSE

u sure u guys r cool?

 

Tooru:

psh yeah

we’re as right as rain

just getting a feel on each other 🤧

tension is

usual

in this sort of thing

 

Keiji:

I can talk to him about it, if you want?

 

Tooru:

DON’T

Seen by everyone.

 

Tooru:

HAHAHA

there’s no need

it's okay, he was just looking out for u

i

didn't know u have a sibling tho

 

Keiji:

Half-brother, actually. We only found out five years ago.

We don't really want to make a big deal out of it.

 

Tooru:

that's

capital

i’m guessing u got the better genes LOL

OH MY GOD I’M SORRY AM I ALLOWED TO JOKE ABOUT THAT

 

Keiji:

😂

 

Koutaro:

SHEESH RURU

at least ease up on the dark humor while failing to hit on my bae in front of me 😔

 

Tooru:

the word ‘fail’ is not registered in my vocabulary ian

i can totally snatch him up just like

🤌

that

from under your nose if i wanted

 

Keiji:

No offense, but you're not really my type.

 

Tooru:

WOW

OK

stomp all over poor kuya tooru's feelings some more y don't u

 

Koutaro:

HAJSJHSHAHSHAHHA

GET REKT 😜😜

 

Tooru:

how do i not take OFFENSE when your type is

that 

that JOCK ⁉️ ⁉️

 

Keiji:

We agreed we’d be too pretty for each other.

 

Tooru:

and withhold too much intelligence from the rest of humanity 🙄

very well

u two complement each other best in those aspects anyway

 

Koutaro:

STILL RIGHT HERE

 

Keiji:

But I really hope you can get along.

You and Kuya Hajime.

 

Tooru:

as if i have a choice

Seen by everyone.

 

Multiple people are typing…

 

Tooru:

kidding!!!!!!

OFC dw 😊

besides it’s not like we have to be w/ eo All The Time lol

 

Koutaro:

wait

wouldn’t u????? 🤔

Seen 12:25 AM

 

Today at 12:27 AM

 

Tooru:

right kej?

 

Keiji:

About that.

 

Tooru:

RIGHT????

 

Keiji:

He’s

paying for the wedding.

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

u’ve got to be FUCKING KIDDING me

00:31 14/07/2021



✎✐



07:48

Thursday, July 14

 

Notification Center

 

MESSAGES now

Unknown Number

what time do we scout for the venue on saturday?

 

MESSAGES now

Unknown Number

it's hajime.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

takahiro @californiamakki

not oomf screeching “putangina” (Filipino curse word) at the top of his lungs being the apartment complex’s alarm this morning 💀

07:49 14/07/2021

takahiro @californiamaki  1m

Replying to @californiamakki

whoever’s ghost is haunting @xtratoorustrial pls take him



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

Unknown

July 14, 7:48 AM

 

Hajime:

what time do we scout for the venue on saturday?

it's hajime.

 

Today at 7:53 AM

 

Tooru:

HGHSGCajsnjGFSGA

how did u

 

Hajime:

saturday. what time?

 

Tooru:

I CAN READ I’M NOT ILLITERATE

 

Hajime:

congratulations. literate enough to form a sensible response too by any chance?

Read 7:58 AM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

satan… it is way 2 early for ur champions :DD

07:59 14/07/2021

takahiro @californiamakkii  1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

curb’s looking really cozy for u rn :D



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

Unknown

Today at 8:02 AM

 

Hajime:

apparently not, huh?

i’ll ask kej then. bet he’d be thrilled to hear just how “accommodating” the planner The Daily Bride would apparently build monuments for truly is.

might even dig into it, the curious kid.

 

Tooru:

OHMYGOD SHUT UP?????

E-COMM 101: CONTACTING PEOPLE BEFORE 8 AM IS THE DEVIL'S JOB

 

Hajime:

some of us have 8 am jobs.

 

Tooru:

some of us have LATE pm jobs

i haven’t even had caffeine to deal w/ u yet ✋

 

Hajime:

you wouldn’t have to if you just answered properly the first time around.

 

Tooru:

i would’ve if u kept the putrid attitude locked up somewhere it won’t be stinking the whole place up

and “we”???

who says u’re coming 🤨

 

Hajime:

insurance, to make sure you don’t end up renting a random patch of grass.

 

Tooru:

exCUSE me!?

IK WHAT I’M DOING, ATHEIST

FYI MY WEDDINGS R FLAWLESS 🤺 🤺

 

Hajime:

you’ve executed exactly one wedding.

 

Tooru:

one  F L A W L E S S  wedding

what’s it 2 U anw

it’s not YOURS i’m planning

 

Hajime:

no, just my brother’s.

or have you forgotten whose wallet’s funding your little event?

Read 8:16 AM

 

Today 8:18 AM

 

Tooru is typing…

 

Hajime:

spare me the tirade. i’m sure it’s very creative but i don’t have all day.

i need to clear my schedule.

 

Tooru:

no

u really don’t

i’ll have kej forward aaaaall the details

so stay out of my way & i’ll stay out of yours

i don’t need you :)

kbyieeee 👋

Read 8:20 AM

 

Tooru has changed Unknown's name to BULABOG 👺 (Filipino word for disturbance).



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Issei @mattsun

dude’s gonna give the grinch a run for his money @godziva

(PHOTO: Hajime, sitting behind his desk and glaring at his phone.)

08:21 14/07/2021

Hajime @godziwa 🔒    1m

Replying to @mattsun

get out of my office.



✎✐




CHARACTER PROFILES

 


Tooru Oikawa (27)

aka the WEDDING PLANNER


  • international model
  • Koutaro Bokuto’s childhood best friend
  • the King of Perfect Plans
  • done with everything and everyone

Hajime Iwaizumi (28)

aka the PRINCIPAL SPONSOR


  • resident physician at Pascua Grace Medical Hospital
  • Keiji Akaashi’s half brother
  • No poking please; he has a temper.
  • currently in a love-hate relationship with the planner (history: unknown)




✎✐



MESSENGER

 

world tour

July 14, 9:06 AM

 

Tooru:

gm

 

Atsumu:

ew

 

Tooru:

i’m offended that u think it extends 2 u

 

Atsumu:

well mine’s EXCLUSIVELY for u

 

Alisa:

jeez people chill 😆

OH my bad, tsum

i forgot it’s already sundown there in brazil

 

Tooru:

sunrise or not there’s nothing good abt the morning if he’s the one u wake up to 🥱

no wonder no one’s ever stayed the night iykwim

 

Atsumu:

TRY HARDER NEVER WAKING UP AGAIN NEXT TIME

 

Keiji:

Good morning.

 

Alisa:

KEIJI HIIIII

 

Koushi:

how was the engagement dinner? the bokutos afford your dowry? koutaro chop any firewood?

 

Tooru:

paleolithic period much?

 

Atsumu:

probly proved himself capable of providing thru pangangaso (Filipino term for foraging)

i mean

the guy DID BRING @Tooru 🐗

 

Tooru:

bcuz u weren’t Available

 

Keiji:

Hahaha, it was okay. We signed a prenup and hashed out the details of the wedding.

Seen by everyone.

 

Today at 9:32 AM

 

Tooru:

i’m sry

signed a what

 

Keiji:

A prenup.

Kuya proposed we do.

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

only understanding now that god delayed my arrival last night not for the purpose of a fashionable lack of punctuality but bECAUSE HE MAY FORGIVE BUT I DON’T 

[PHOTO: loading a gun]

09:34 14/07/2021



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

world tour

 

Atsumu:

[nervous laughter]

u guys aren’t expecting to like

divorce in the foreseeable future right?

 

Alisa:

NOT THAT IT’S WRONG TO

but just :<<

 

Keiji:

God, never.

It’s only for appearances. My father’s side just didn’t want any complications.

 

Tooru:

& the bokutos??

 

Keiji:

Were very understanding. Kou was actually the most insistent about pushing through with it.

 

Tooru:

ofc he would That Wet Towel

hbu, u ok?

 

Keiji:

Yes, hahaha sincerely.

It’s gonna take more than blood for a piece of paper to come between us.

 

Alisa:

AWW

u guys 🥺

 

Atsumu:

LORD 💥 💳 💥 💳  💳 💥 💳 💥 💳 💥 💥  I HAVE SEEN WHAT UVE DONE FOR OTHERS

 

Satori:

alright ppl we get it, you’re getting MARRIED

 

Koushi:

speaking of which

what date are we saving?

 

Keiji:

September 26.

 

Satori:

👁👄👁

 

Alisa:

oh my

 

Atsumu:

OOF

u two surely don’t wanna wait that long huh

 

Koushi:

that means it’s gonna be a hectic couple of months

 

Tooru:

ok SPOILSPORTS none of that dispiriting energy

pls it’s walk in the park 🙄

we’re gonna need everybody to come home soon for rehearsals tho

 

Alisa:

YAAAS! badly need a vacay 💆🏻‍♀️

 

Atsumu:

beg

 

Tooru:

i’m offended that u think it extends to u (2)

 

Atsumu:

THIS ASS BRINGS THE CROWD IN WYM 👅

 

Koushi:

gentle reminder that it’s Not Your Birthday so save the puta activities for another time when they’re not conducive to giving keiji’s AND koutaro’s relatives a heart attack 

 

Tooru:

@Satori u coming? imy :(

 

Satori:

BOOKING A FLIGHT FOR TOMORROW AS WE SPEAK

jk HAHA lemme just get my affairs in order and find someone to leave the shop to

 

Keiji:

Koutaro and I will shoulder the expenses.

 

Atsumu:

NONSENSE

we don’t bust our asses for high-paying jobs just to slave over a plane ticket

 

Alisa:

yah!!!!!!

it’s gonna be fun getting the entire gang back together since koushi’s wedding for YOUR special day this time!!!!!! 💖

 

Satori:

^

as long as I’m in charge of the cake, i have: zero complaints

 

Keiji: 

But

 

Tooru:

SHH

none of us are missing it for the world

OKAY???? 🤺

 

Koushi:

wow thanks for the concern

and here i was worrying whether we have the budget to fly in from new york 😔 

 

Tooru:

.

KOUSHI I SWEAR I WILL DROPKICK U OFF A PLANE U’RE JUST FROM CUBAO

 

Keiji:

I don’t know what to say.

This means a lot to us. Thank you.

 

Atsumu:

u talk as if u wouldn’t do the same

besides

we’d all like to formally meet your family 👉👈

 

Satori:

the family or JUST the elusive brother? 

 

Koushi:

I KNEW IT

jesus atsumu does your promiscuity not discriminate???

 

Atsumu:

Y’ALL DON’T UNDERSTAND

KUYA BOKUTO RATED HIM A TEN 🥵🥵🥵

well 9 but we all know it's only bc it's the wrong brother lolol

 

Alisa:

well, if he’s related to keiji then DUH being eye candy is pretty much a given

@Tooru’s met him ryt

 

Atsumu:

FUCK THAT I ALREADY CALLED DIBS

 

Koushi:

gentle reminder that the gentleman is not a fucking chair

 

Atsumu:

he could make a good one 😏

🍑

 

Koushi:

keiji is RIGHT THERE

 

Satori:

lmao so wut wuz he rlly lyk @Tooru

 

Tooru:

gtg !! ttyl ✌️

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



08:30

Saturday, July 17

 

Notification Center

 

CALENDAR

venue hopping

Today

 

GMAIL

Broadway Theatre

Greetings Mr. Oikawa! This is to inform you…(read more)

 

MESSAGES

KOUMAN 🦸🏻

I’M SORRYYYYYYY

IS THERE NO ONE ELSE WHO CAN COME WITH???



✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORIES

 

xtratoorustrial 2h ago ph public transpo i def did NOT miss u

 

xtratoorustrial 5m ago made it alive!!! finally!!!! 📍To Palati Hotel



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

tricycle

July 17, 9:17 AM

 

Keiji:

Kuya @Tooru did you see it?

 

Tooru:

yes yes !! waiting inside the lobby rn

 

Koutaro:

NICE

WE WERE WORRIED U’D GOTTEN KIDNAPPED

 

Tooru:

??

it’s been five minutes

and i literally LIVED here

 

Koutaro:

IT’S BEEN 6 YEARS!!!!!

 

Keiji:

There have been quite a few changes since. I can text Kuya Koushi?

 

Tooru:

nahh no need 2 bother anyone

now quit acting as if it’s my first tango 😹

 

Koutaro:

ALRIGHT

MAKE SURE TO EAT LUNCH OK????

OR ELSE I’LL HAVE TO SIC THE DEPUTY ON YA 😎

 

Tooru:

?

what deputy



✎✐



Notification Center

 

MESSAGES now

BULABOG 👺

you done glaring at your phone? turn around.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

🗿

09:21 17/07/2021

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

maybe there ARE fates worse than getting kidnapped and harvested for all my internal organs

 

✎✐

 

 

MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

July 17, 9:39 AM

 

Hajime:

i don’t like this place.

 

Tooru:

???

so LEAVE

 

Hajime:

no, i don’t like it for the wedding.

let’s move on to the next.

 

Tooru:

R U SHITTI NG ME RN

can’t u c i’m still in recon

STOP TEXTING

 

Hajime:

because you look like you’re having the time of your life listening to this guy drone on about their reputed baroque style carpets.

you’re not very discreet about replying under the table btw.

Read 9:51 AM

 

Today at 9:54 AM

 

Hajime:

you’re wasting both his time and yours. tell him we’re not interested anymore.

 

Tooru:

lol that’s what u said

 

Hajime:

?

 

Tooru:

NOTHING

& im not doing it

im not as RUDE as u 😠

 

Hajime:

i didn’t say be rude about it.

we’ve gotten enough info, most of your questions are just decorative.

Read 9:59 AM

 

Today at 10:02 AM

 

Hajime:

hey. 

don’t ignore me.

oikawa.

 

Tooru:

WHAT

WHAT IS IT DO U NOT LIEK ABT ANW

 

Hajime:

it’s too modest.

Read 10:05 AM

 

Today at 10:07 AM

 

Hajime:

that's one mean face. 

got to say, kinda works for you.

if you’re trying to sell a slasher film poster.

 

Tooru:

oh u’d do me a favor by reenacting a slasher film w/ me

here i’ll start

play dead or DROP DEAD

 

Hajime:

come on, you can’t tell me you don’t find the place even a tiniest bit prosaic.

 

Tooru:

bc i DON’T

shouldn’t u be THANKING me 4 being economical ???

 

Hajime:

aww.

you’re concerned about me.

 

Tooru:

T HAT ISNOT WHATIMAENT

*MEANT

u can go Bankrupt for all i care

 

Hajime:

pick someplace else then.

 

Tooru:

again u can leave ANYTIME

on ur own that is

 

Hajime:

you’ve been inquiring for half an hour.

 

Tooru:

???

and

 

Hajime:

you decide as quickly as a bunny.

when it’s taking too long, you’re weighing for redeeming qualities.

something about clicking and shit.

Read 10:13 AM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

.

10:14 17/07/2021

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

fucker can still read me so WELL, unbelievable



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 10:15 AM

 

Tooru:

thnx 4 the psychoanalysis

didn’t know u were aiming 2 b my Therapist

 

Hajime:

five minutes.

 

Tooru:

FUCKIN GFINE

ONLY to Shut U up!!!!!

not bc ur ryt or whtvr

bc ure NOT 

i LIEK it here!!!!!!!!!!

😠

Read 10:18 AM



✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORY

 

xtratoorustrial 5m ago 📍 Elite Peaks Hotel  extravagant enough 4 u PAL? 🙄



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 11:03 AM

 

Hajime:

place is alcatraz island.

 

Tooru:

FOR THE LOVE OF

litrly HOW 

we just got here

 

Hajime:

experience.

these people are fusspots over their house rules.

even breathing has a statutory volume and count per minute.

 

Tooru:

.. & u waited

til we got INSIDE

to tell me this why? 🙂

 

Hajime:

checked their grounds.

pretty sure they’re not letting their meticulously trimmed grass be trampled on.

 

Tooru:

site said they hold outdoor events

 

Hajime:

like what, holy retreats for ten people?

 

Tooru:

maybe it’s the senility of old age

but in case u’re forgetting

 U’RE the one who wanted a place to fit UR bourgeoisie tastes 

at least lemme talk 2 someone first

 

Hajime:

suit yourself.

did my part.

you’re not going to be my whining problem later.

Read 11:10 AM



✎✐



ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

@/elite peaks i was rooting for u

11:20 17/07/2021

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

rulebook 🤝 war and peace by leo tolstoy

word count

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

oh wipe that SMUG look off jinxer



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 1:17 PM

 

Hajime:

substandard facilities.

 

Today at 2:35 PM

 

Hajime:

poor customer service.

 

Today at 4:57 PM

 

Hajime:

owner’s a bigoted and fascist apologist, enslaves his staff.

we don’t fuck with those.

 

Today at 7:22 PM

 

Hajime:

no.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

(MEME: mid-punch towards the camera)

20:23 17/07/2021

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

JAHBSFDAJSFJAOIJASNKDJCNAUGHHHHHH

 

🦉 🔒  @hoothoot   1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

OOOH ARE WE PLAYING CHARADES

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   3s

Replying to @blkalnz_20

NO U’RE IN TIME-OUT U SICCED SATAN’S SHERIFF ON ME



ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

so .. this is my Villain Origin Story

20:36 17/07/2021

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial   2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

istg if he moans abt a chip on the wall ONE MORE TIME 💢 💢 💢 someone’s 

coming home w/ blood on their hands & it’s gonna be Me



✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORY

 

xtratoorustrial 5m ago 📍 Shuǐjīng Hotel last one (better be) 



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Prowl ✔ @newsonprowl 

JUST IN: Son of CEO of Iwaizumi Group is seen leaving Shuǐjīng Hotel with mystery man. READ here: https://www.prowlnews.com/business-710620 

23:51   17/07/2021

2.9K Retweets 1.4K Quote Tweets 3.6K Likes



Scoop ✔ @sundaetea 

SPOTTED: Tooru Oikawa, lounging with mystery man outside of a frozen yogurt parlor in Manila.

00:16   17/07/2021

1.7K Retweets 964 Quote Tweets 2.3K Likes



Trends List

 

#WhoIsTooruOikawasDate

12.1K

 

Tooru Oikawa

7,869

 

Hajime Iwaizumi

9,721

 

BACK IN THE PHILIPPINES

3,560

 

Suna Rintaro

2,347

 

 

✎✐

 

 

MESSENGER

 

world tour

July 18, 12:01 AM

 

Koushi:

@Tooru WHERE ARE YOU

 

Atsumu:

THE HELL DID HE GET HIMSELF TRENDING FOR NOW

 

Alisa:

paparazzi caught him out with someone 😰

 

Atsumu:

FUCKING DUMBASS

@Tooru

 

Tooru:

yeah yeah i’m here don’t get your panties in a twist

 

Atsumu:

U THINK I’M GONNA BE IN HOT SHIT WHEN IT’S UR FACE ABOUT TO MAKE FRONT PAGE ON THE TABLOIDS???

 

Koushi:

did u receive my calls?

 

Tooru:

i diiid 

sorry i jgh

u nag worse than maki, tsum

it’s never too late to switch careers 🤔

 

Atsumu:

and risk getting arrested for aggravated murder? i’d rather chew off my own dick

 

Keiji:

Kuya Tooru, I'm so so sorry. I didn’t know Kou sent my kuya after you.

 

Tooru:

that traitor

i’ll deal w/ him l8r

 

Keiji:

We’d understand if you want to back out of this.

 

Tooru:

HEY

none of that

both your happiness is mine too all that crap

so it's NEVER a burden oki????

 

Koushi:

wait wait i'm lost

kuya?

 

Keiji:

Yes, the one in the pictures. I don't think the media knows it was them together though.

 

Koushi:

i see

@Keiji what did u say his name was again?

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

SHIT

00:14 18/07/2021

(DRAFT)



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

world tour

 

Keiji:

It's

kind of confidential.

 

Tooru:

no pressure !! WE Respect Your Privacy

 

Atsumu:

PRESUMPTUOUS OF U TO SPEAK FOR US

 

Keiji:

But

you guys are my friends so maybe it's about time?

 

Tooru:

NO

Seen by everyone.

 

Tooru:

i mean wait HAHAHA

r u sure? atsumu always manages to blow a gaff 2 mins after being sworn to secrecy

 

Atsumu:

WHA

ME!??!?!?

also how come u have the carte blanche to get all familiar with the guy and not us

 

Koushi:

lol u’re acting really sus

 

Tooru:

NO IM NOT 

😹😹😹

 

Alisa:

don’t feel pressured if u aren’t ready bb!!

 

Keiji:

No, I really don't mind haha.

His name is Iwaizumi Hajime.

 

Koushi:

🙂

 

Tooru:

um

i can explain?

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Koushi @sgwrkoushi

(MEME: Daenerys Targaryen smiling)

01:37 18/07/2021

ru  🔒 @xtratoorustrial   1m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi

I CAN EXPLAIN



satori @sweetsatori

(MEME: “Now that’s a name I haven't heard a long time.”)

01:39 18/07/2021

satori @sweetsatori   2m

Replying to @sweetsatori

happy halloween 👻

 

ru  🔒 @xtratoorustrial   2m

Replying to @sweetsatori

🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 🆘 



tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya

(MEME: “I have no idea what’s going on but everyone’s talking and I should too.”)

01:39 18/07/2021



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

world tour

Today at 1:41 AM

 

Keiji:

Did I say something wrong?

 

Koushi:

i don’t know. did we read that right @Tooru?

 

Atsumu:

ok srsly what’s going on 💀

 

Satori:

WOOPSIE VIBE CHECK

dem seatz have no right to be hotter than moi 🔥

 

Tooru:

it's fine satori

i do owe everyone an explanation

 

Keiji:

Explanation?

 

Tooru:

um

haha

u see

i kiiiinda

sorta

a lil

just the ryt amount

may have

 

Atsumu:

BEFORE CHRISTMAS

 

Tooru:

alreadymeturbrother

 

Keiji:

Oh.

Were you old friends?

 

Tooru:

not exactly

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

b0ssxzc bente un0

July 18, 1:06 AM

 

Kuroo:

you mean to say

that oikawa tooru

globally renowned model oikawa tooru

bokuto’s other best friend and wedding planner oikawa tooru

THE same oikawa tooru

 

Issei:

that's a lot of oikawa toorus

 

Kuroo:

is your EX ⁉️

 

Hajime:

unofficially.

 

Kuroo:

WDYM UNOFFICIALLY

 

Hajime:

exclusively seeing each other but

😂

 

Kuroo:

no way

NO LABELS????

 

Issei:

didn’t know you had it in you

 

Kiyoomi:

when was this?

 

Hajime:

college, fourth year of bio.

 

Kuroo:

hollup

OH SHIT

when i introduced you to Koushi?

 

Kiyoomi:

he went to the same university?

 

Issei:

nope, those delinquents keep going over the fence of koushi’s campus

 

Kuroo:

we ask u carps but u always say scoobs 🥺

 

Kiyoomi:

?

 

Issei:

carps = carpet = r u g?

scoobs = great dane = dehin = hindi = no in tagalog

 

Kiyoomi:

sheesh.

 

Kuroo:

THAT’S WHAT THE BGC BOY SAID

how come i never knew about u and mister dimples of college of ru s & letters, iwa?

 

Hajime:

i wasn't out yet then.

and you know the kind of family dynamics i have lol

 

Wakatoshi:

Must've been a difficult setup.

 

Hajime:

surprisingly, no.

he understood my situation and what we were getting into 

so we made the most of what we have.

 

Issei:

you mean had?

 

Hajime:

typo.

 

Kiyoomi:

and now you're working together

 

Issei:

so the hotel

 

Hajime:

media's twisting it as usual.

 

Kuroo:

yikes. dad mad?

 

Hajime:

pr's wiping it out in the morning.

gave me less shit after i told him what i was there for anyway.

 

Kuroo:

IWAIZUMI HAJIME REBEL CHILD ARC?! 😳🕶️🤏

 

Wakatoshi:

And did you?

 

Hajime:

did i what?

 

Wakatoshi:

Find what you're there for, a venue.

 

Hajime:

ah.

 

Osamu:

pfft, they didn't.

 

Hajime:

hello to you too, dipshit.

 

Kuroo:

BRO 💀

 

Issei:

SEVEN places?

 

Hajime:

i’m not the one with a list of criteria the length of the nile.

 

Osamu:

something tells me it wasn’t you who drew the short stick in terms of company.

 

Hajime:

whose side are you on?

 

Osamu:

the side who's not being a pissy little bitch over his ex not giving him the time of the day.

 

Kuroo:

(GIF: “DAAAAAMN.”)

 

Kiyoomi:

why'd you have to call the guy out like that samu

 

Hajime:

fuck you, miya.

 

Wakatoshi:

That was mean.

 

Hajime

thanks, ushijima. at least one of you pricks is sensible.

 

Wakatoshi:

Hajime might be unaware of his tendencies of being, as you said, a "pissy little bitch.”

A euphemism would've been more polite.

 

Kuroo:

GSHAHAHAAHAHAHAJAJAHDJQJAHA

 

Issei:

call the cops, there’s been an arson

 

Hajime:

I'M NOT BEING A PISSY LITTLE BITCH.

 

Kuroo:

easy, boss. does akaashi know?

 

Hajime:

you think he'd put us in the same room if he did?

 

Kuroo:

✋😳🤚

 

Osamu:

why not? 

it’s not like it'd be a conflict of interest.

right? haha

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

world tour

Today at 1:57 AM

 

Tooru:

OF COURSE NOT 

pshhh why would it be 🤣

i mean work-wise the urge to break his ribs is strong 90% of the time

 

Keiji:

Um?

 

Tooru:

but that's NORMAL HSJAHAHADJSK

just 2 colleagues w/ a rough start yk

 

Koushi:

or a rough end

 

Tooru:

QUIET 🙂🔪

 

Keiji:

Why didn't either of you say anything?

 

Tooru:

because this isn't about us

if we did u & kou would’ve felt the constant need to adjust

i don’t wanna stress u out w/ our issues when all u should be worrying about is what flavor of cake to get

btw vanilla lemon or carrot?

 

Keiji:

Kou wants chocolate.

 

Tooru:

@Satori put in an order for carrot

 

Satori:

GOTCHA 👉👉

 

Keiji:

Kuya Tooru, if this is making you feel uncomfortable

 

Tooru:

SHH

i'm planning this wedding whether he likes it or NOT

besides 😹

what's a lil professional hostility between old flames?

 

Koushi:

oh you're definitely going up in flames and we’re here for it

hey, sorry for being pushy

 

Tooru:

it’s fine

i should've told u guys sooner anw 

 

Alisa:

nooo it was your story to tell 🥺

 

Satori:

u ok?

 

Tooru:

ofc HAHAHAHA

that was a looong time ago 

we’ve both moved on

 

Alisa:

soooo

u guys are like

cool? no hard feelings?

 

Atsumu:

WELL I HAVE

U SON OF A BITCH U BAGGED THAT ⁉️⁉️

WITH THAT FACE AND SNOTTY ATTITUDE ⁉️⁉️

WAS HE A MASOCHIST ⁉️⁉️

 

Satori:

hoo boy here we go

 

Tooru:

mf stop screaming i can’t hear over ur loud INSECURITY

 

Atsumu:

HOW MUCH DID THE LOVE POTION COST YA

 

Tooru:

projecting your own crafty tactics on me now, are we?

i’d buy u a year’s supply of hair toner than spend it on the likes of him

 

Keiji:

Kuya Tooru, are we sure this is a good idea?

You and Kuya Hajime?

 

Tooru:

oh trust me

we’re going to be the best of friends 😉

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

b0ssxzc bente un0

Today at 1:57 AM

 

Hajime:

we're going to end up murdering each other.

 

Kuroo:

HAHAHAHA not if akaashi gets to you first

 

Issei:

dude, it’s just for a couple of months

 

Hajime:

still too long.

 

Wakatoshi:

You can always let yourself be indirectly involved.

 

Kiyoomi:

good point

just let oikawa do his job

no one forced you to be an avid field consultant

 

Osamu:

unless

there’s something else in it for you.

 

Hajime:

you think i’m spiting him on purpose?

 

Osamu:

you tell me.

 

Hajime:

oikawa and i are done alright?

all that matters to me is making kej’s day happen and perfect.

if it means putting up with some stuck-up ass then so be it.

 

Osamu:

and if you can't separate work from personal life?

 

Hajime:

that's a bridge we’ll cross or burn when we get there.

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Quotable ✔ @quotable 

Murphy’s First Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

07:42 19/07/2021

9.8K Retweets 7.4K Quote Tweets 13K Likes

 

 

✎✐

 

 

TWITTER

 

PRINT ✔ @printmag

Tooru Oikawa talks about his modeling journey with PRINT. Full exclusive interview will be featured in our August issue.

 

READ here: https;//www.printmag.ph/showbiz/articles/098765

21:37 19/07/2021

10.9K Retweets 3.4K Quote Tweets 16.7K Likes



✎✐



PRINT WEBSITE

 

TOORU OIKAWA, TO BE FEATURED IN AUGUST ISSUE OF PRINT

By PRINT Magazine

19 JUL, 2021 9:36 PM

 

Starting at the age of 21, you have been dominating, quite literally the world of modeling, earning you the title of "The Grand King of High Fashion." Did you ever envision yourself reaching this point?

 

“As a matter of fact, modeling is something that I didn't even envision making a career out of in the first place. I studied theater arts back in college then worked as an assistant for my university's stage manager after graduation. At the time, it was very difficult to pursue my passion for acting not just because of the lack of opportunities but due to the undercompensation of the existing ones. I played background characters in a few films but never had that big break. So when I started modeling, it was more for practical reasons. Then the opportunities kept coming in and before I knew it, I was practicing the craft for over half a decade.”

 

What's your story? If modeling wasn't an initial aspiration, how did you end up entering and even eclipsing everyone else in the game?

 

“WOLF—my first agency—scouted me after my unofficial modeling debut for a friend's salon. Shout-out to my forever favorite hairstylist, Miwa! Mr. Irihata offered me endorsements for local clothing brands and I thought it was only going to be a brief stint until...Regné. At first, I was extremely skeptical of accepting and even jokingly accused them of subjecting me into what could be a human trafficking scheme—Kidding! Please don't take me seriously. Mr. Irihata will have my head (laughs). Anyway, it was terrifying, to say the least, to be a small fish swimming into the big sea. But in the end, I truly understood what makes Paris every model's dream.”

 

In all of your years of modeling, how would you describe the profession? Was it everything you expected it would be?

 

“Despite several reality shows, documentaries, and exposés showing the ins and outs of the metiér, the prejudice against and even in my craft is still prominent. Some remain to believe that models are glorified clothes hangers who make six digits in one bat of an eye by having attitude problems and eating disorders. Then, there are some, behind-the-scenes who are selective of the models they cater to in terms of size, color, and gender. What they all fail to realize is that modeling is not meant to establish a convention of beauty—it's not even supposed to be about beauty at all, but should be and is more of a metaphorical museum than anything. Art does not thrive on identical symmetry, the philosophy of it lies in the myriad of ways it makes the spectator feel. It's not in how the model looks, but in how they personalize their identities every time to best accentuate the product's distinctive angle. I think diversity is a strength that every agency should cultHajimete among all of its employees.”

 

What is the hardest part of your career so far? Do you have any regrets? 

 

“Well, there's the usual answer of dealing with criticism and maintaining an immaculate lifestyle but...making sacrifices, I guess. Starting anew has become a routine, which means acquainting yourself again with a new country that will be your home for the next several months and leaving things and people behind. For regrets, I don't dwell on what-ifs and what could've beens long enough for them to linger.”

 

Would you say that your career has been a source of conflict in other aspects of your life like social relationships and time for leisure?

 

“(laughs) Subtle. Devoting a huge chunk of my schedule to work is a choice because it helps me keep learning, push my potential past its limit, and rebuild myself into its best version. Talent is something you make bloom but instinct is something you polish. But I wouldn't consider myself a complete social recluse. I've met a couple of close friends in and outside of the field. We play volleyball whenever one of us is in the country the other is residing in. On the matter of dating though...(shakes head) it's the least of my priorities as of the moment.”

 

It has been six years since you last resided in the country. Are you planning to settle back home for good? If so, what are your future plans regarding your career?

 

“It has been quite a while—I missed my family and friends and it's really nice to be back, but no. I have a few projects lined up for the next three months. Regrettably, I had to turn down all offers of long-term contracts. Besides, I'm currently here on personal business. One of my best friends is getting married!”

 

You mentioned that you're not in the market for romance right now. Are there any specific qualities you're looking for in a partner?

 

“I haven't had the best relationship...history. Someone's physical appearance can only take us so far as the first ten minutes of a date. Admittedly, intelligence is highly attractive but it's quick for me to lose interest when people begin blowing their own trumpets. The same goes with flaunting their wealth. I happen to like people who appreciate my sense of humor. Maybe someone sweet, gentle, and soft-spoken; someone with warmth and initiative, a trait my first—and former (laughs)—partner lacked. Primarily, someone capable, someone with fight, like a man crawling for his way home to me from the war. Perhaps, a poor soul who’d be most willing to create with me something…golden.”

 

Golden?

 

“Yes. Gold is warm. Gold is noble. Gold is timeless. In a world as cold and cutthroat as ours, riches like such are a rarity. Besides, let you in on a secret? Nothing else complements gold best but a diamond.”



✎✐



TWITTER

 

koushi @sgwrkoushi 

THIS A CALL-OUT TWEET TO TOORU FUCKING OIKAWA. THIS U?

(MEME: someone sitting on the table, captioned “Thanks for shit! I’m so full.”)

21:40 19/07/2021

satori @cestdoux 2m

replying to @sgwrkoushi

man woke up and chose 🎻🎻🎻

 

takahiro @californiamakki 1m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi 

veronica sawyer would be so proud (GIF: “Fight for Me” from Heathers)



Tetsuro @tetzkuro 

RIP @godziva the avengers will accept your application next time 😔

21:50 19/07/2021

Hajime 🔒 @godziva 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

?

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 1m

gotta build up that ~initiative~ first 💪💥💪💥💪💥



Tooru ✔ @thetooruoikawa

thanks for having me @printmag 💛

22:40 19/07/2021

2.7K Retweets 3.5K Likes



Hajime 🔒 @godziva

brat.

Quoted Tweet:

Tooru ✔ @thetooruoikawa 5m

thanks for having me @printmag 💛

22:45 19/07/2021

Osamu @samurice 5m

Replying to @godziva

hey, that’s not very sweet.

 

Issei @mattsun 3m

Replying to @godziva 

that’s not very gentle

 

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 2m

Replying to @godziva 

THAT’S NOT VERY SOFT-SPOKEN



Hajime 🔒 @godziva

that how you wanna play? alright.

22:51 19/07/2021

Osamu @samurice 2m

Replying to @godziva

whatever embarrassing shit you plan on pulling, make me proud.



Hajime @godziva

if you had wanted warmth so much, you could’ve just asked. i would’ve built a house on the sun for you.

22:52 19/07/2021

106 Retweets 74 Quote Tweets 238 Likes

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 2m

Replying to @godziva 

(GIF: jawdrop)

 

Issei @mattsun 1m

Replying to @godziva 

fucker went public to be this petty 😂



tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya

HAHAHAHAHSHHAHSAKJSAJHSA

23:03 19/07/2021

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya   2m

Replying to @thebettermiya

@xtratoorustrial BETTER HIDE WHILE U STILL CAN 🏃💨💨💨



ru🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

?? ok go off ig non-oomf

Quoted Tweet:

Hajime @godziva 16m

if you had wanted warmth so much, you could’ve just asked. i would’ve built a house 

on the sun for you.

23:06 19/07/2021

satori @cestdoux 3m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial 

wait for it

 

ru🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @cestdoux

huh

 

ru🔒 @xtratoorustrial 39s

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

WHATTHE FUKCDJSJSKAKLDSK



ru🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

someone tryna meet st. peter early tonight (:

23:08 19/07/2021

koushi @sgwrkoushi 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

a house on the sun, how romantic 🥺

 

ru🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi

sILENCIO



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

publicist (unfortunately)

July 19, 11:12 PM

 

Takahiro:

don’t 

 

Tooru:

🧍

 

Takahiro:

who cleans up after your shit?

ME

so i’m going to ask u this only once

DO NOT ENGAGE

 

Tooru:

maki maki

what do u take me for???? 🥺

ofc i won’t do smthn so CRASS



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Tooru ✔ @thetooruoikawa 

since u never had the balls to bring me over 2 urs no? lmao

23:20 19/07/2021

35 Retweets 40 Quote Tweets 178 Likes

takahiro @californiamakki 2m

Replying to @thetooruoikawa

and he engaged

 

takahiro @californiamakki 1m

Replying to @thetooruoikawa

REALLY??? ON YOUR OFFICIAL ACCOUNT NO LESS???????



satori @cestdoux 

(MEME: “Oh my goodness! Ungakatan ng past!”)

23:23 19/07/2021



Tetsuro @tetzkuro 

GOD DAMN

23:24 19/07/2021

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

@godziva dude he went for your balls are you going to let that slide just like that???? YOUR HONOR BEGS TO BE DEFENDED

 

Issei @mattsun 1m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

stop playing demon on his shoulder jackass



Hajime @godziva

really now. thought it couldn’t fit in your “busy” schedule.

23:29 19/07/2021

54 Retweets 76 Quote Tweets 212 Likes

Kiyoomi @sakusamd 2m

Replying to @godziva

aren’t you supposed to be doing rounds?



Tooru ✔ @thetooruoikawa 

a favor 🤷 didn’t wanna confuse mommy dearest if u had brought two of us over

23:32 19/07/2021

315 Retweets 192 Quote Tweets 540 Likes

Alisa ✔ @haibalisa 2m

Replying to @thetooruoikawa

👁👄👁

17 Replies 96 Retweets 132 Likes



Hajime @godziva

volleyball, was it? could’ve sworn you hold an olympic record for jumping to most conclusions and running miles with that mouth.

23:35 19/07/2021

217 Retweets 154 Quote Tweets 469 Likes

Kiyoomi @sakusamd 3m

Replying to @godziva

or you both are making a sport out of who can upstage each other’s cowardice

 

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 2m

Replying to @sakusamd

BANGER SIS

 

Tooru ✔ @thetooruoikawa 

last i checked, u LOVE the Things This Mouth Can Do 🤭

23:37 19/07/2021

315 Retweets 192 Quote Tweets 540 Likes

takahiro @californiamakki 2m

Replying to @thetooruoikawa

find another publicist, expect my resignation letter on your desk first thing tomorrow 👍

 

Atsumu ✔ @miyatsumu   1m

Replying to @thetooruoikawa

KEEP IT FUCKING PG. THIS IS NOT THE PLACE.

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya   1m

Replying to @thetooruoikawa

in my dms, it is



Hajime @godziva

last i checked, you love the places it’s been more.

23:40 19/07/2021

403 Retweets 259 Quote Tweets 617 Likes

Issei @mattsun 1m

Replying to @godziva 

see it to believe it



Tooru ✔ @thetooruoikawa 

aww but i thought it used to drive u mad & burning 🥺

23:41 19/07/2021

201 Retweets 95 Quote Tweets 306 Likes

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya   3m

Replying to @thetooruoikawa

with hatred probably

 

koushi @sgwrkoushi 2m

Replying to @thetooruoikawa

i think he’s mad enough to just burn u now



Hajime @godziva

from whose end was the courtship done again?

23:43 19/07/2021

593 Retweets 346 Quote Tweets 778 Likes

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 2m

Replying to @godziva

(GIF: group hype)

 

Osamu @samurice 1m

Replying to @godziva 

(GIF: Tony Stark rolling his eyes)

 

Tooru ✔ @thetooruoikawa 

just say u WANT my Attention & go 

23:49 19/07/2021

595 Retweets 361 Quote Tweets 798 Likes

 

Hajime @godziva

don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart.

23:51 19/07/2021

601 Retweets 402 Quote Tweets 803 Likes



Tooru ✔ @thetooruoikawa 

ppl claim they Don’t Care but keep track of news abt u, who’s rlly clowning WHO here 🤡

23:53 19/07/2021

743 Retweets 516 Quote Tweets 859 Likes

 

Hajime @godziva

the one still subtweeting back, lol.

23:55 19/07/2021

807 Retweets 614 Quote Tweets 923 Likes



Twitter Feed

 

satori @cestdoux 24m

*loudly sips 🍵*

 

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 25m

PLACE YOUR BETS LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. PUTTING 1K ON MY MAN @godziva

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 28m

BORING. THROW THE FIRST PUNCH @xtratoorustrial

 

Kiyoomi @sakusamd 34m

filing a report to HR for unprofessional behavior in the workplace

 

Issei @mattsun 39m

you both wanna kiss each other so bad it makes you look stupid

 

takahiro @californiamakki 41m

i don’t get paid enough for this shit

 

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 18m

TL GOING CRAZY!!!! #ExesFaceOff

 

Daichi @sawamuradaichi 21m

Why is my husband microwaving popcorn at 12 am?

 

koushi @sgwrkoushi 21m

(GIF: eating popcorn) @thetooruoikawa LET’S FUCKING GOOOOO

 

Osamu @samurice 22m

homophobia exists for this exact reason.

 

Keiji @keiji.akaashi 1m



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

Kej

July 20, 12:07 AM

 

Keiji:

Kuya.

 

Hajime:

hey, what's up?

 

Keiji:

What do you think you're doing?

 

Hajime:

my rounds?

 

Keiji:

👍

 

Hajime:

come on 😂

you told me to play nice.

 

Keiji:

By provoking him? I thought you were more mature than that.

 

Hajime:

alright alright, my bad.

 

Keiji:

Look, I know you guys didn’t leave it on the best terms.

Actually, no, I don't but it's none of my business.

But please? At least try?

For my sake?

 

Hajime:

fine.

i’ll behave.

 

Keiji:

Thank you.

 

Hajime:

no smiley for kuya?

 

Keiji:

You don't deserve to be smiled at right now.

 

Hajime:

keeej.



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

KOUMAN 🦸🏻

July 20, 12:07 AM

 

Koutaro:

tooru

 

Tooru:

HE STARTED IT 

 

Koutaro:

did you have to dignify it with a response?

 

Tooru:

it’s not MY fault he’s as bold as brass 🙄

 

Koutaro:

kej wants me to let you know that he’s sorry

 

Tooru:

wait r u mad @ me???

I WAS JUST

ok so maaaybe i went overboard

 

Koutaro:

maybe?

 

Tooru:

fine

i went overboard

He Had It Coming tho #sorrynotsorry

 

Koutaro:

👍

 

Tooru:

KOUMAAAAAN

r u srsly mad? 

🥺

 

Koutaro:

you’re not getting away with this like that

 

Tooru:

🥺🥺🥺

 

Koutaro:

JESUS

alright alright

but don’t think i’d easily forgive you for stressing my fiance out 

 

Tooru:

he tearing iwaizumi’s head off?

 

Koutaro:

like an angry househusband

 

Tooru:

HA! as that devil’s due

 

Koutaro:

tooru

can u promise to try getting along with kuya hajime?

i know u didn’t get off on the right foot but he’s still going to be family

 

Tooru:

don’t remind me

fineeee

 

Koutaro:

thank you

since you’re part of mine, it would mean a great deal to me if we can make the situation as ideal as we can for everybody

 

Tooru:

yeah yeah i get the memo

be the bigger person and whatnot 🤢

UGHHH

u’re lucky u’re family too

 

Koutaro:

ONLY THE BEST FOR THE BEST 💪



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

when did this lil shit get all mature & reasonable

00:19 20/07/2021

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

i shouldn’t feel guilty but now I DO!!!!! GRRR

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

that asshole iwaizumi better count his blessings that i’m even calling a ceasefire

(MEME: Princess Peach, saying “I’m gonna delete your kneecaps.”)

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 12s

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

how he’s related to an absolute angel is BEYOND ME



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

KOUMAN 🦸🏻

Today at 12:22 AM

 

Koutaro:

but ruru

 

Tooru:

?

 

Koutaro:

oikawa: 1, iwaizumi: 0

NICE KILL ;)

 

Tooru:

HAUAHWQJEHASHAHAJHA

well, the best DOES learn from me 😌



✎✐



TWITTER

 

koushi @sgwrkoushi

BOOOO BRING THE SHOW BACK ON I DEMAND A REFUND

(GIF: throwing popcorn)

00:28 20/07/21

ru🔒 @xtratoorustrial 3m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi

??? u’re not??? paying us???

 

koushi @sgwrkoushi 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

with the pleasure of my audience i am



satori @cestdoux

it’s all fun & games ‘til someone asks the billion-dollar question

00:29 20/07/2021

ru🔒 @xtratoorustrial 3m

Replying to @cestdoux

SHHHHUT UUUUPPP

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 2m

Replying to @cestdoux

what question

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 1m

Replying to @thebettermiya

NOW HOLD ON A DAMN MINUTE



✎✐



Notification Center

 

MESSENGER now

world tour

Atsumu: AHEM

Atsumu: @Tooru U KNOW WHAT WE’RE ALL HERE FOR

Atsumu: DROP THE BREAKUP STORY

 

 

✎✐

 

 

MESSENGER

 

world tour

July 20, 12:34 AM

 

Atsumu:

AHEM

@Tooru U KNOW WHAT WE’RE ALL HERE FOR

DROP THE BREAKUP STORY

 

Koushi:

didn’t even pussyfoot around it

 

Tooru:

satori :)))))

 

Satori:

🤐

 

Atsumu:

[BANGS POTS AND PANS]

ATTENTION HERE PLS 📢📢📢 

NOW SPEAK INTO THE MIC

🎤

 

Tooru:

are u THAT bored w/ ur own life???

laaame

 

Alisa:

actually, i'm curious too 🧐

 

Tooru:

g'night

 

Atsumu:

NOT SO FAST

u didn’t seem to have a problem using your words earlier

Bitch, Deliver 👏

 

Koushi:

come to think of it

you never really told us what went down

 

Alisa:

didn’t u say the two of u were in the same circle?

 

Koushi:

oh i knew about their “thing”

but after college they laid low

before we knew it, that one’s whisked off to another continent

 

Atsumu:

HE NEVER SAID WHY???

 

Koushi:

“some people just need to stay where they belong”

“in the past”

 

Atsumu:

what fanfic is the bitch trying to imitate?

 

Tooru:

can y’all backstab me when i’m not litrly RIGHT HERE????

 

Satori:

weren’t u going to bed?

 

Tooru:

SHUSH

this is all UR fault

 

Atsumu:

SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH

MONEY? FAME? THE ✨ MOTHERFUCKING ✨ BILLS?

 

Koushi:

@Satori

 

Satori:

😴 

 

Atsumu:

BOOOOO

SOME FRIENDS U R

 

Keiji:

To be fair, it is up to Kuya Tooru if he wants to share or not.

 

Alisa:

valid :<

 

Tooru:

THANK U

 

Atsumu:

PSHHH

be that way

unpacking failed romances is supposed to be a cathartic bonding exercise!!!!

 

Satori:

if only u put half of that energy into brushing up YOUR love life 

 

Tooru:

ikr 

such fan behavior

 

Koushi:

okay

we’ll stop asking, sorry

Seen by everyone.

 

Today at 12:56 AM

 

Tooru:

😐

um

what r u playing at

 

Koushi:

who, me? nothing

just respecting boundaries is all

 

Alisa:

that was...easy

 

Satori:

and very sus~

 

Atsumu:

SINCE WHEN R U AN ADVOCATE FOR RESPECTING BOUNDARIES IN THE FACE OF GOSSIP????

 

Koushi:

ow??? judgmental much???

can't i be a good friend w/o any ulterior motives?

 

Tooru:

your ENTIRE PERSONALITY is an ulterior motive

 

Koushi:

i’m serious

if it's really still THAT sore of a subject, we won't probe :(

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa

koushi u DIDN’T

01:13 20/07/2021

Koushi @sgwrkoushi 2m

Replying to @lalalalisa

the devil’s work is never done



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

b0ssxzc bente un0

July 20, 12:34 AM

 

Kuroo:

COME OOOOON LOVER BOY

DON'T BE SHY 👅

 

Hajime:

no.

 

Issei:

after subjecting us to that clusterfuck of a mating ritual on twitter?

least you owe us is a backstory.

 

Kuroo:

RIGHT

 

Kiyoomi:

i honestly don't care. night.

 

Hajime:

for the last time.

i'm not telling you anything.

 

Osamu:

you idiots want the brief summary or the long cut?

 

Kuroo:

OHOHO

THAT’S MORE LIKE IT

 

Hajime

miya, i swear to fucking god.

 

Issei:

ignore him, go on.

 

Kuroo:

[slides a dollar] crack the case open

EXPOSE HIM

 

Hajime:

do none of you value your lives?

 

Osamu:

alright, so this is what REALLY happened 😂

 

Hajime:

one more word from you and i’m cutting off your rice.

 

Osamu:

oh nooo

 

Hajime:

kita and i go way back.

don't tempt me.

 

Kuroo:

[gasp] involving suppliers

dirty move, iwaizumi

 

Osamu:

oh, i’m very scared.

trembling in my boots, even.

 

Hajime:

(PHOTO: screenshot of an open conversation with Osamu’s mother)

 

Osamu:

FUCK YOU

 

Kiyoomi:

infants, the lot of you.

 

Hajime:

still want to mess with me?

 

Osamu:

go ahead, cop out.

sure did wonders for that relationship.

 

Issei:

ouch

 

Kuroo:

OOOOOH NO ONE HOLD THEM BACK

 

Hajime:

you better start digging your grave, gasbag.

 

Wakatoshi:

It's quite rude to pry into other people's private affairs. 

 

Kuroo:

but it’s for science, ushijima

this is an Official Investigation

a case analysis, as one would refer to as

 

Hajime:

you talk too much.

just admit that you want to get dirt on me.

 

Wakatoshi:

Iwaizumi might still be hurting over Tooru's departure.

Refusing to recall the experience is a typical defense mechanism to the trauma.

 

Kiyoomi:

so what you’re saying is

hajime’s in denial

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Kuroo @tetzkuro

man down. i repeat, MAN DOWN.

00:54 20/07/21

 

✎✐



MESSENGER

 

world tour

Today at 1:14 AM

 

Atsumu:

AND I OOP—

 

Keiji:

Kuya Koushi.

 

Koushi:

no no, we completely understand

some memories and people are just that hard to erase off our skins 💔

 

Satori:

this is pure evil

 

Tooru:

ok that is IT

listen here u LITTLE SHITS

y’all reeeeally wanna know???

FINE

 

Tooru is typing…



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

b0ssxzc bente un0

Today at 1:08 AM



Hajime:

that's not even

that's not even remotely close.

 

Issei:

HAHAHAHA

Ushijima, brake a bit buddy 

 

Kuroo:

AWW, BRO 😢 😢

LET’S DRINK TO THAT

 

Issei:

do you want him belting out still into you by the end of the night?

 

Hajime:

I'M NOT IN DENIAL.

 

Osamu:

sounds exactly like what someone in denial would say.

 

Hajime:

alright, fine.

i’ll bite.

 

Hajime is typing…



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

world tour

 

Tooru:

HE LISTENS TO RAP MUSIC

UNIRONICALLY

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

b0ssxzc bente un0

 

Hajime:

he doesn’t know how to cook a fucking egg.

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya

:D

01:27 20/07/2021

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 2m

Replying to @thebettermiya

@xtratoorustrial ARE WE A JOKE TO YOU



Kiyoomi @sakusamd

this is what i get for associating myself with halfwits

01:28 20/07/2021



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

b0ssxzc bente un0

Today at 1:33 AM

 

Kiyoomi:

👎

 

Kuroo:

QUIT PULLING OUR LEG ALREADY

 

Hajime:

that’s it.

 

Issei:

bullshit

 

Hajime:

come back to talk when you’ve had scrambled eggs with its seasoning swapped for shells.

 

Osamu:

maybe he was aiming for crunchy.

 

Hajime:

i almost died.

 

Osamu:

touche, hardly surprising that you still have a gag reflex swallowing that ego.

 

Kuroo:

DUDE, YELLOW CARD 

 

Wakatoshi:

I fail to see how culinary incompetence is sufficient reason to end a relationship.

 

Kiyoomi:

uhh yes, it is?

don’t you know how cross-contamination works??

 

Issei:

crash courses exist.

 

Hajime:

nope, that one’s a hopeless case.

he can’t cook to save his life.

 

Issei:

sure, man. whatever you say.

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

world tour

Today at 1:33 AM

 

Atsumu:

...

THAT’S IT ⁉️ ⁉️ ⁉️

 

Satori:

🚨  

ELITIST alert

u should be ASHAMED!!!!

🍅 🍅 🍅

 

Alisa:

that’s satire…right?

 

Tooru:

u guys sit w/ him in the car for 2 hrs

 

Keiji:

Hahaha, yeah he always does have all the lyrics memorized somehow.

 

Koushi:

i'm not buying it

 

Keiji:

It's true. Even in the shower.

 

Tooru:

sings them fucking EVERYWHERE

 

Koushi:

I MEANT

i'm not buying that u two broke up over something so trivial

 

Satori:

music preferences can be an irreconcilable difference 🤷🏻‍♂️

 

Tooru:

omg tell him bestie

 

Alisa:

there HAS to be smthn else

 

Tooru:

LOL

sounds like a u problem 😘

niiiight

 

Atsumu:

COME BACK HERE

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

FINALLY that’s over w/

01:40 20/07/2021

(DRAFT)

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

time to channel all my focus & effort into schtuff that actually / m a t t e r s /

(DRAFT)

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

and neither gossip rabid friends or egomaniacal client relatives will Get In My Way

(DRAFT)



✎✐



02:31

Tuesday, July 20

 

Notification Center

 

MESSAGES 1m

BULABOG 👺

time and place?

 

MESSAGES now

Keju 💚

Asked Kuya Hajime to drive you later. Have fun :)



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

[GIF: burying self in the ground]

00:32 20/07/2021

 

 

✎✐

 

 

July 20, 2021

6:48 PM

 

“We can make it work.” Hajime shrugs as if he didn't just propose the most outrageous, downright insulting, and completely asinine idea that Tooru has ever heard of in his entire career in logistics and art.

“No.” Tooru stops himself from sputtering in irritated disbelief or twisting in his seat to give his partner a piece of his mind. “We can't.”

He doesn't need to peek in his periphery to detect the scowl being hurled his way. “Why not?”

Still refusing to face him in hopes of curtailing the argument before it detonates into something short of a total bedlam, Tooru replies, “Because it's a terrible idea, Iwa-chan.”

The nickname has already slipped out when his error dawns on him, the both of them freezing like sitcom characters who have derailed an episode from the script. Tooru inwardly curses, teeth clipping his tongue as a form of self-sanction.

“Iwa-chan” has long been buried in the graveyard of indentations they had left in each other's lives. Though it was spoken derogatorily, a wave of nostalgia washes over them. Memories of fond “Shittykawa”s and childish banter resurface and Tooru can feel Hajime's stare scorching the side of his head.

Quick, deflect and distract.

“In what universe do you hold a garden-themed wedding inside a ballroom?” Tooru rolls his eyes and sweeps his hair to the side in an act of condescension. “And you question my expertise.”

Hajime sees through it (of course, he does) but thankfully selects to ignore it. “What happened to no one else being a perfect fit for the job? Make do."

Glares clash with each other as the comment almost causes Tooru to pop a nerve. “Making do and unnecessary labor are two different exploits. Not only do you want to squander our budget, you're also gonna push back the deadline. One, it's not eco-friendly, and two, it will a hundred percent kill the ambiance. It’s a terrible idea.”

Changing the theme was out of the question. Despite any worries about potentially disastrous weather conditions, the pair can never forget the way Keiji’s eyes gleamed when Tooru first presented it among the options, instating an unspoken vow between them. They're getting that couple the best damn garden wedding even if it's the last thing either of them will do.

“Like you said,” Hajime growls. “Time isn’t a luxury we have. We can't afford to waste another day turning up empty-handed.”

Tooru raises a palm to silence him. “I’m sorry, who’s the one with the inexhaustible objections and insatiable demands?”

“Well if only you did your research, we wouldn't have had to visit thirteen fu—” A baby starts wailing inside the lobby. “—dging places to begin with.”

“So it’s my fault, now?”

“No, I was saying it was your responsibility—”

"That's the same fu—” The wailing gets louder. “—dging thing!”

A single clap fractures the crossfire. 

“Gentlemen!” Their heads turn to hotel's event manager, whom they've neglected to remember is still sitting across from them with an affable smile. “Let's try to keep the divorce at bay before even getting to tie the knot.”

A metaphorical bucket of water is poured over their heads as the remark registers. Oh. Tooru could feel his cheeks heating up. Oh no.

The woman prattles on. “These are understandably testing times for couples. Discourse and tiffs are unavoidable but by the end of the day, what matters is getting to say ‘I do’ to the love of your life, right?”

What is even happening right now? Tooru's mouth finally draws level to his brain after opening and closing like a fish out of water. “I think there's been a misunderstanding. We're not—”

The manager waves her hand, placatingly. “No need to feel embarrassed! I’m not exactly a stranger to this kind of scene. Honestly, it's a little sweet how passionate you two are in making your wedding perfect. How long have you been together?”

None of them are brave enough to apprehend how their companion is reacting to the volley of allegations. One can only stammer gibberish, feeling an imminent impulse to combust on the spot and the other is in a catatonic state of bewilderment.

“Honestly, you guys remind me of my parents.” Unaware of the thickening tension, the manager gabbles on, “They always manage to find the tiniest things to squabble about like children but when push comes to shove, their love is bigger than any conflict—”

Her unsolicited sentiments get cut off when Hajime abruptly stands, expression lacking any of its usual angry lines, but eyes simmering with an inscrutable emotion.

“Thank you for your time. We'll be taking our leave now.” He bows and swiftly turns on his heels to march towards the exit.

Tooru blinks at his retreating figure for a few seconds before snapping out of his daze. He profusely apologizes to the equally stunned woman and dashes after him.

“Iwaizumi!” He yells as soon as he's within earshot in the parking lot. Hajime doesn't spare him a response, fishing his keys out of his pocket, which only effectively incenses Tooru more.

“Hey!” He broadens his strides until he manages to block the other’s path. “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

The vacant stare pins him in place. There was something terrifying in Hajime's subdued demeanor, as though a creature of havoc is flying into a rage beneath his skin. Nevertheless, Tooru doesn't falter. “What was that?”

Hajime doesn’t look at him. “What was what?”

“You don’t need me to spell it out for you.”

Neither relents from glowering. Jaw clenched, he attempts to bypass Tooru who only pushes him back with a hand to his chest. “Get in. We have two more locations to—”

“Oh cut the crap, Iwaizumi,” he scoffs. “That wasn't nothing.”

“What else is there to it? We weren’t going to stay any longer. They don't have what we need and you don't like the—”

The assumption rubs him the wrong way, as if the finger picking at a scab finally tears the skin open after being swatted away multiple times. “Stop acting like you know me!” He rips the band-aid off with the brusque finesse of a ruffian. “You don't, not anymore!”

A gust of wind blows around them, tousling their hair and carrying a charged silence in a hollow whistle. Hajime stands as rigid as a statue, gaze rapidly voiding any traces of vigor. So they finally got here. A week’s evasion guised as frivolous animosity, an insistently shelved confrontation, and six years of emotional baggage threaten to rupture like the angrily jammed contents of a suitcase being strewn all over the place the minute the zipper breaks.

Hajime's steely voice slices through the evening, settling a chill into the orifices of his listener’s bones. “And whose fault do you think that was?”

“Let me guess,” Tooru sneers, “It was my ‘responsibility’—”

“No. It was your weakness.” Hajime steps forward, green irises ablaze. “You left me.”

That accusation cripples Tooru's resolve a little. The rubber, stretched too thin by distance and time, snaps and a newfound urgency to subjugate its adversary revs it back up.

“Are you serious right now?” He watches as Hajime overtakes him to get to their vehicle. “Oh my god, Iwaizumi. It's been six years! This isn’t about us—”

“Bullshit.” The car door slams shut. “Two people don't disagree about every goddamn trifle if there isn't a bigger issue they're projecting on it.”

“Projecting—” Tooru huffs, incredulously. “Don’t blame it on me if you can’t keep a professional detachment—”

“Detachment?” The disparaging appellation rouses a hungry indignation in Hajime. “This isn’t some by-the-manual commission. This is my brother’s wedding. And even if it was, how is shading me in your interviews and tweets professional?”

Tooru throws his hands in the air. “Then why did you goad me into the job?”

“Why did you take it?!”

“Because I can put my friends above some juvenile fling.”

“Right,” Hajime sniggers. “Because everything else that cumbers your gantt charts is dispensable to you anyway.”

His fingers twitch in warning as dread swirls inside Tooru's belly, feeling the breeze pricking his exposed nape with the beginnings of genuine ire. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Hajime steps closer, eyes narrowed. “You threw away our entire relationship over your pride.”

Humorless laughter echoes in the empty space. “There was no relationship! I was nothing but a liability to you—an experiment.”

Running a hand through his hair, Hajime restrains himself from grabbing the taller man and shaking him like a ragdoll. “Jesus fucking Christ Oikawa, I was committed to you!”

Tooru's pulse stutters at the admission and a small vulnerable voice almost worms past his lips asking, “You were?” but he wills it to mute. “And going on a date with somebody else while I’m at what could be a defining fulcrum of my life and career was supposed to show me that?”

“For fuck's sake!” Desperation tinges the edge of Hajime's voice. “It was a blind date! I had no idea what my mom was setting me up on. You didn't give me a chance to—”

“Because you didn't take it earlier!” Hands gripping the strap of his messenger bag until his knuckles turn white, Tooru grapples for an anchor. “The first few times, it was fine;  but when you already came out to your parents, you kept shoving me under the bed. Because what? I don't come from an aristocratic background? That my passion isn't inclined to a money factory?”

“Because it’s not that simple!” Hajime roars. “What about when was broaching the subject? Every time I asked, there’s always an excuse, a sidestep, you always have no time, you’re always trying to circumvent the conversation like you—like I’m—until it’s no longer just about meeting my family. I bent over backwards just to spend five fucking minutes with you because God forbid you care enough to do the same! So don't pin this on me and the classism you conjured up to paint yourself as a victim of.”

Thunder rumbles from a distance and neither notices the wind picking up or the dark clouds rolling for miles across the night sky. The situation is rapidly deteriorating into an object of a volatile temper but the tunnel vision to afflict the hands that afflicts them has long set in.

“You enjoyed it, didn't you?”

Hajime's features rumple and he moves away. “God, this again.” 

Tooru follows him, nodding along to his own accusation. “You did. Why else would you have stayed to see the end of it if you had the decency to think of how your ‘commitment’ would feel waiting for you to show up like you promised?!”

The words fill his mouth with acridity but he's already relinquished control to the behemoth sculpted from the debris that was yesterday’s souvenir and the tornado of anguish he discovers himself harboring. “What was it, the attention? Did he flirt back? Were you able to recover half the manhood you lost when you were with me?”

Tooru stops as Hajime continues to stomp towards the Jeep. He can feel the alarm bells ringing inside his head as acid crawls up his throat. “Or maybe the apple just doesn't fall far from its tree!”

Thunder groans when Hajime halts. The spite drains away from Tooru, replaced by the horror of his own cruelty and the ice enveloping his veins.

“I—” He swallows, “Iwaizumi, I’m—” and chokes on the needles in his windpipe. “I’m sorr—”

The next sentence sends a sucker punch to Tooru's gut. “Maybe you deserved it.”

Pitch an octave lower, Hajime's voice pierces through the air like a bullet. His eyes are dark when he turns to face him, mirroring the brewing storm above their heads. “You want to know why we fell apart?”

Dirt crunches under his shoes as he takes a step towards him. “Because you were selfish—” Another. “—difficult—” And another. “—and I hated the person...” Until he has fully bridged the space between them with a final one. “...that I've become—that you made just to be at your disposal.”

Toe-to-toe, Tooru wonders if Hajime could hear his heart pounding inside his chest because it's all he, himself, could. He couldn't move. Lest his knees buckle, he stayed perfectly immobile.

Hajime spits out a bitter chuckle. “Live life with no regrets, huh? Well, here's the crowning point of my list.” Bringing a knuckle under Tooru's chin, he tips his former lover’s face up a millimeter.

“You.”

 

 

✎✐

 

 

Incoming call from og jowa (Filipino slang for significant other) 🪐

 

Satori:

“Hey, where on Venus have you been? Maki’s called about a bajillion times—”

 

Tooru:

“Can you tell them I’ll be—(sniffles)—home late?”

 

Satori:

“(pauses) Uh, sure. Gotcha. Still with he-who-shall-not-be-named?”

 

Tooru:

“(forcibly exhales) No.”

 

Satori:

“Do you know where you are?”

 

Tooru:

“No.”

 

Satori:

“(sighs) Switch on your GPS. Let’s get you somewhere warm.”



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

dinorado (type of rice)

July 20, 7:32 PM

 

Osamu:

akaashi’s asking about you.

 

Hajime:

👍

 

Osamu:

uh oh.

what did you do now?

 

Hajime:

fuck off.

 

Osamu:

told you it’s doomed to get personal.

 

Hajime:

you think i don't know that?

 

Osamu:

could've fooled me.

so did world war iwaoi leave any survivors?

 

Hajime:

the hotel thought he and i were

 

Osamu:

ah.

you blew up on him.

 

Hajime:

yeah.

 

Osamu:

and?

 

Hajime:

and what?

 

Osamu:

am i gonna hear decent answers out of you or do you plan on being a dick all night? 

 

Hajime:

he brought up the old shit.

 

Osamu:

suna?

 

Hajime:

mhm. something about following the old man's footsteps.

 

Osamu:

yikes, that was low.

can't really blame him tho. what you did was a scumbag move.

 

Hajime:

i didn't cheat on him.

i would never.

 

Osamu:

might as well have, shithead.

 

Hajime:

what did you want me to do? ditch the guy?

would've earned us good rep from business partners, alright.

 

Osamu:

so preserve the company at the expense of your relationship.

entrepreneurship 101.

 

Hajime:

we've been over this.

there wasn’t a choice that needed to be made. 

oikawa ran to paris without giving me a second to explain.

he chose to trust other people's words more than mine.

 

Osamu:

have you ever considered that maybe you didn't give him enough reason to?

 

Hajime:

i went to him first. straight away.

 

Osamu:

and it didn’t occur to you to excuse yourself even for thirty seconds to shoot him a text?

 

Hajime:

how should i know twitter moves at the speed of light?

 

Osamu:

you guys were already on the rocks.

what else was he supposed to think when you pull something like that?

 

Hajime:

samu, i’m trying.

i’m doing everything in my power to patch up whatever he’ll let me.

if only he would give me the chance.

 

Osamu:

you're not helping your case then.

i’ll be frank with you, alright?

don't you think you're both too absorbed in your individual perspectives?

the more you struggle to air your grievances louder, the more you drown each other out.

 

Hajime:

what you're suggesting is i just let him scream my head off?

 

Osamu:

i'm suggesting you listen to what he's screaming about. 

don’t counter it by screaming back.

knowing you? your height is a quantified version of your temper.

 

Hajime:

motherfucker.

 

Osamu:

HAHAHAHAHA

listen, oikawa’s probably just feeling cornered at the moment.

just back off a bit. give him room to breathe.

 

Hajime:

yeah.

will keep that in mind.

you can tell the real samu to come back now.

 

Osamu:

🖕

 

Hajime:

there he is.

 

Osamu:

gtfo of here before i rat your ass out to your brother.

 

Hajime:

kej loves me.

 

Osamu:

you think he’d stick up for you when he finds out?

 

Hajime:

i get it, i get it.

i'll figure something out, don't worry.

 

Osamu:

go home, both of you.

maybe the best course is cooling your heads away from each other. 

 

Hajime:

actually

 

Osamu:

?

 

Hajime:

he's not with me.

 

Osamu:

ha

 

Hajime:

he 

ran off earlier.

 

Osamu:

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL CHATTING AROUND FOR THEN???

istg, iwaizumi. if you don’t bring him back in one piece, we’re both fucking toast.

Read 8:16 PM



✎✐



July 20, 2021

8:48 PM

 

The lounge is quiet that night. 

Save for the ticking of a nearby clock, the outside downpour muffled by the walls, and the light pressure of leather soles on the carpeted floors, Tooru could almost pretend he's in the privacy of his old apartment back in Argentina. 

The scent of chamomile and rain wafts through the small area he has holed himself up in. He notes that the steam rising from the cup has long vaporized and the porcelain has probably already siphoned off the tea's warmth.

He sinks into the plush upholstery, hugging his knees. Having just ended the call with Satori half an hour ago to whom he promised that he'll book a grab as soon as the storm lets up, he's left with his own company.

So he kills his time letting his eyes roam around meandering uniforms and ritzy interiors. high ceilings, crystal chandeliers, Victorian furniture. Despite the patent display of luxury, there's something homely sewn in the way the place seems worn and lived-in, like it's housed a thousand stories and memories.

Soon, he's bored himself out of it and his mind drifts to the direction he's been trying to avoid.

“Live life with no regrets, huh? Well, here's the crowning point of my list. You.”

A jagged white bolt slashes across the sky and Tooru's chest constricts. He blinks away the burning sensation at the corner of his eyes and digs crescent marks on his palms with his fingernails. It was kinda your fault for comparing him to his dad anyway, Tooru thinks. He stares at the flamingo centerpieces on the table and a coppery tang soils his appetite. But why does it have to hurt like so?

He tucks his face in his folded arms and exhales. God, what a mess. He should probably book that cab before Julian starts tracking him down.

Just as he's about to unfurl himself, he hears the cushion of the couch across from him dip and the minty oceanic scent of the newcomer's perfume floods his senses. Tooru stays silent, muscles suddenly conscious of the strain caused by the fetal position, pulse thrumming in trepidation.

Then he hears a sigh, fingers tapping on a surface, and two consecutive pings from his phone. Hesitantly, he lifts his eyes to see the screen of the device lit up with a notification. Tooru can feel the weight of a gaze trained on him as he ponders on what to do, as if turning over a rubik's cube in his hands and picking which column to rotate next.

“What are you so scared of?” A voice, suspiciously sounding like Satori's, taunts him. “You can't keep running forever.”

Tooru picks up the phone.



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

July 20, 8:54 PM

 

Hajime:

hey.

can we talk?

 

Tooru:

thought u didn’t wanna have anything to do w/ me

 

Hajime:

your kej’s friend. option’s kinda off the table.

i was kidding.

don’t put the phone down.

 

Tooru:

what do u want

 

Hajime:

eaten yet?

 

Tooru:

bye

 

Hajime:

tooru.

i’m sorry.

Read 9:00 PM

 

Today at 9:03 PM

 

Hajime:

for earlier, and a lot of things.

for getting your number from bokuto without your consent.

for antagonizing you this whole time.

and for the stuff i said back there.

i’m sorry.

Read 9:05 PM

 

Today at 9:07 PM

 

Tooru:

wow

who knew the great iwaizumi hajime has ‘apology’ in his lexicon after all

one for the history books

 

Hajime:

retractions are also not off the table.

 

Tooru:

forgiveness will be

 

Hajime:

no, it won't.

 

Tooru:

??

at least BEG for it

maybe then i'd CONSIDER blunting my verdict

 

Hajime:

you will, anyway.

 

Tooru:

and if i WON'T

 

Hajime:

you will.

 

Tooru:

DO U HAVE ANY OTHER PERSONALITY TRAIT THAT ISN’T BEING FULL OF YOURSELF???

 

Hajime:

there’s also sincerely regretful and handsomely debonair.

 

Tooru:

and incorrigibly punchable

what makes u think it’ll be that easy hUH

 

Hajime:

when have you ever actually not caved for me?

 

Tooru:

6 yrs ago

Read 9:12 PM

 

Today at 9:15 PM

 

Hajime:

ouch.

got me there 😂

 

Tooru:

aren’t u

mad @ me?

i mean

don’t get me wrong I AM

at u

but

i did say some messed up things too so

 

Hajime:

your feeling bad about them is all the bail i need, honestly. 

 

Tooru:

????

just like that

 

Hajime:

just like that.

 

Tooru:

but

 

Hajime:

here, how ‘bout this

if you accept my apology, we’ll call it quits.

 

Tooru:

lmao

call it quits

familiar territory, isn’t it?

 

Hajime:

oikawa.

 

Tooru:

shh

deliberating

 

Hajime:

oh.

got it.

take your time, your honor.

 

Tooru:

do u really

 

Hajime:

hm?

 

Tooru:

u’re not just doing this bc

NOT to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything

just 

 

Hajime:

you’re asking if i mean it.

 

Tooru:

.. yeah

 

Hajime:

i see.

look up here for a moment.

 

Tooru:

huh

 

Hajime:

eyes on me.

Read 9:28 PM

 

Today at 9:31 PM

 

Tooru:

oh my god

did u just

WHAT R U DOING?#?!

 

Hajime:

crossing my heart?

hope to die, right? haha

 

Tooru:

THAT’S

THAT’S STUPID

STO P ALRAEDYSJTKAJFKE

 

Hajime:

🥺

 

Tooru:

FINE OKAY

🙄

thank your lucky stars i’m such a nice person

 

Hajime:

agree to disagree.

 

Tooru:

:D

nvm i take it back

u srsly wanna pick a FIGHT after i GRACIOUSLY acquitted u on MOST counts 🤺

 

Hajime:

you make it too easy.

okay okay i’ll stop, quit kicking me 😂

 

Tooru:

THAT DOESN’T EVEN BEGIN TO COVER IT

Read 9:45 PM

 

Tooru:

not that this isn’t nice & all

but

shouldn’t we ..

talk about

yk 

 

Hajime:

are you ready to?

Read 9:46 PM

 

Today at 9:48 PM

 

Hajime:

thought so.

hey, no more frownies. it’s okay.

we can wait ‘til after this whole shebang is over. that good with you?

 

Tooru:

r U ???

ok with it :/

 

Hajime:

i've survived this long.

your comfort comes first.

besides, we have a lot on our plates right now.

let’s save it for when we can focus on us better.

only us.

 

Tooru:

ig

okay

btw i really am sorry too

about what i said earlier

 

Hajime:

after, dummy.

 

Tooru:

FINE

AFTER

😒

 

Hajime:

you’re not mad again, are you?

 

Tooru:

[GIF: child making faces]

 

Hajime:

very mature.

so, we cool?

 

Tooru:

yeah yeah

truce

Read 9:53 PM

 

✎✐

 

“Mr. Iwaizumi?”

The two men, who were both immersed in their virtual conversation, look up at the staff standing beside the coffee table. The boy has both diffidence and youthful determination in his posture that reminds Tooru of his salad days as a college org leader.

“It’s stopped raining.”

Hajime glances outside, realizing that the pitter-patter against the windows has dissipated. He pockets his phone and nods. “Thank you.”

Before Tooru could get up, however, the manager is already regarding him with an optimistic gleam in his eyes, “We're testing a newly-installed lighting system design in the garden tonight and it's open for viewing.”

The suggestion goes over Hajime’s head while Tooru tilts his. Huh. “We'll drop by. Thank you.”

The younger man bows, bangs bouncing with the movement, before excusing himself. Once alone, Tooru chews over the offer. He checks the time on the wall clock and bites his lip at Hajime, whose brows are raised in query. Smiling, he stretches out of his seat and slips his coat on.

“Oi, where’re you off to now?” Hajime calls out after him as he ambles down the same path where the bowl cut has disappeared off to.

“Come on, Iwa-chan.” Tooru swivels on the balls of his feet and cackles, walking backwards. “I have a good hunch about this one.”

The corner of Hajime's mouth arcs upward. With a fond shake of his head, he stands and plods after him.



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

tricycle

July 20, 10:12 PM

 

Tooru:

buckle up kids

we found ourselves a venue ;)

Seen by everyone.

Chapter Text

MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

July 20, 11:07 PM

 

Hajime:

home. 

 

Tooru:

he lives 2 c another day

shame

 

Hajime:

no reason for you to be all torn up then.

 

Tooru:

surprised the cosmos hasn’t imploded when your ego is already twice the size of milky way

 

Hajime:

not the ego speaking if it’s true.

you won’t miss me when i’m gone?

 

Tooru:

in your dreams maybe

 

Hajime:

alright.

still can’t kick the bucket though, i’m afraid.

 

Tooru:

?

 

Hajime:

for selfish reasons.

 

Tooru:

like what

 

Hajime:

you.

i’ll miss you.

 

Tooru:

(MEME: “Ngi.”)

 

Hajime:

nettling you, i mean.

 

Tooru:

goes w/o saying JERK

 

Hajime:

HAHAHAHAHA

 

Tooru:

don’t u have work @ 8?

u should sleep

 

Hajime:

aww, you do have a heart.

a little on the wilted side but it’s there.

 

Tooru:

bc when u’re comatosed u won’t be able to SPEAK & NETTLE me genius

 

Hajime:

wouldn’t that be a bore tho?

who will you boss around then?

 

Tooru:

i can manage w/o the recurrent homicidal urge tyvm 👍

 

Hajime:

pft.

sure, wednesday addams.

you got plans tomorrow?

 

Tooru:

probably book more appointments

list is still long 🤕

 

Hajime:

something i can help with?

 

Tooru:

i’m good

will just be staying in for the day to make some calls

& do my RESEARCH 🙄

 

Hajime:

good boy.

 

Tooru:

dO I LOOK

LIEK A DOG 2 U ????????

 

Hajime:

didn’t say anything.

why, would you have preferred that i call you baby?

Read 11:23 PM

 

Today at 11:28 PM

 

Tooru:

sorry i think i blacked out for a moment and went thru several stages of severe repulsion

 

Hajime:

ha ha

go to bed, brat.

hit me up when you need anything.

 

Tooru:

how about a planning partner who’s less talking & more submitting :DD

 

Hajime:

regret to inform you but i’m all you got.

 

Tooru:

at least sound more convincingly regretful!!!!!!!!!!

FINE

ten million dollars for my “putting-up-with-u” fee

 

Hajime:

i’ll write you a cheque.

 

Tooru:

HAJAJSHAJSHAHAHAHA

wait r u srs

 

Hajime:

good night, weirdo.

 

Tooru:

IWAIZUMI

grr u’re no fun

hope u get sleep paralysis 😗✌️

 

Hajime:

will do my best, for your sake.

oh and oikawa?

 

Tooru:

yeah?

 

Hajime:

happy birthday, again :)

 

Tooru:

psh

thanks Loser

<33

Read 11:39 PM



✎✐



INSTAGRAM

 

iwaizumihajime ✔ (PHOTO: Tooru covers his face with a slice of cake, candles blown.)

happy birthday, little devil. 

50, 204 likes

View all 4,316 comments

Jul 20



theoikawatooru ✔ (PHOTO: A slice of cake on a plate.)

thanks for the 🎂

78, 329 likes

View all 9,764 comments

Jul 20



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Scoop ✔ @sundaetea

The friendship we didn’t know we needed!

Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru tag each other in matching Instagram posts for the model’s birthday. How cute is that?

INSTASCOOP here: https://www.scoopnews.ph/articles/207014

09:07 21/07/21

651 Retweets 42 Quote Tweets 1.3K Likes



FOCUS ✔ @focusmag

FOCUS’ Top 10 Most Influential Figures of 2020 lister Dr. Iwaizumi Hajime ends Instagram hiatus with a photo of Oikawa Tooru. https://www.focusmag.com/articles/07

09:09 21/07/21

6.8K Retweets 592 Quote Tweets 17K Likes



Prowl ✔ @newsonprowl

Amidst respective dating rumors and Twitter cold wars, conglomerate heir and international model celebrate a birthday together. 

MORE: https://www.prowlnews.com/showbiz-9123

09:11 21/07/21

1.6K Retweets 432 Quote Tweets 2.5K Likes



Kuroo  @tetzkuro

y’all seeing this shit?

09:29 21/07/21

Osamu @samurice 5m

Replying to @tetzkuro

#friendshipgoals

 

Issei @mattsun 4m

Replying to @samurice

DUDE HAHAHA

 

satori @cestdoux 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro

couple of 🤡 caught in 4k

 

koushi @sgwrkoushi 41s

Replying to @cestdoux

weren’t they reenacting the hunger games just the other night????



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

og jowa 🪐

July 21, 10:13 AM

 

Satori:

(MEME: barging through the door)

 

Tooru:

UGH

too early

 

Satori:

HAHAHADJSJSHA SORRY SORRY

u drink your tea boo

don’t mind li’l ol me

 

Tooru:

it’s fine 

maki has already dragged me out of bed anw

do what u’re here 4

 

Satori:

well if u insist

📣 BLIND ITEM #0720

comeback or publicity stunt?? 🤔

 

Tooru:

nvm going back 2 bed bye

 

Satori:

HAHAJAHAHAJE

noooo

but u guys HAVE talked?

 

Tooru:

yepp

 

Satori:

& got home without criminal records 

impressive 

 

Tooru:

probably because

at the same time, we might’ve also

not?

 

Satori:

😐

not as in “we're gonna pretend the issue does not exist ‘til it either goes away on its own but in fact will just eventually blows up in our faces” not

or not as in “we'll pick this up later because we're a bunch of chickenshits” not?

 

Tooru:

u’re overreacting, it’s not gonna

“bLoW uP iN oUr fAcEs”

we're just

taking the sensible route

 

Satori:

🐓💩

 

Tooru:

I’M NOT CHICKENSHIT!!!!!!!!

 

Satori:

REALLY

okay hold the line

& tell me EXACTLY what went down

spare no details!!!!!!

 

Tooru:

i honestly dk

after i called u he just showed up @ the hotel

u didn't .. tell him where i was right?

 

Satori:

he doesn’t even know me, crétin 🤣

 

Tooru:

huh.

then how did he

 

Satori:

OOOOOOH

seems like doc’s tooru gps is still highly functional

 

Tooru:

tooru gps my ASS

LUCKY GUESS I DARE SAY❗❗❗

he def just drove around the area 

 

Satori:

even so~

he looked for u :3

lover boy was distraught I dare say

 

Tooru:

out of GUILT 

 

Satori:

he bought u a cake!!!!!!

not just any flavor 👀

PEACH MANGO VANILLA

 

Tooru:

peace offering

 

Satori:

HE REMEMBERS YOUR BIRTHDAY

 

Tooru:

he remembers his kindergarten teacher’s birthday

 

Satori:

ahuh suuuure

whatever u say boo~

did he at least apologize?

 

Tooru:

he did

 

Satori:

tres bièn

just checking, or else he’s getting a taste of satori-style roundhouse kick w/ a cherry on top 😚

 

Tooru:

HAHSJAHSAHSA RED

 

Satori:

what? just looking out 4 mon bébé 🤘

have U apologized?

 

Tooru:

yes

ish

 

Satori:

😐

 

Tooru:

before u say anything

 

Satori:

yk what u said weren’t the nicest things either right?

like ,, u were both running high on emotions

 

Tooru:

in my defense, he didn't LET me

i even asked if he wanted 2 talk abt TT

 

Satori:

TT?

 

Tooru:

The Thing

 

Satori:

The Thing being your “breakup”?

 

Tooru:

again: NOT A BREAKUP IF WE WEREN’T OFFICIAL!!!!!!! 

but yeah

he wanted us to put it off until ATW

 

Satori:

ATW?

 

Tooru:

After The Wedding

 

Satori:

u kids & your acronyms

but wise call, i’ll give him that

 

Tooru:

?

weren’t u calling us chickenshits just five minutes ago

 

Satori:

wouldn’t be a bad thing

considering THAT conversation requires major emotional investment 🏋🏻‍♂️

 

Tooru:

ig

SDKSJHFKSDHFKSJFKS

i just

really really wanna put this behind me 

 

Satori:

and u WILL

it’s most likely that he’s banking that a better chance will arise wherein u’re both mentally prepared

 

Tooru:

maybe

 

Satori:

IT WILL COMEEEE

for the meantime, give eo the benefit of the doubt & civility a shot

while u’re sorting out the stuff that u’re going to be running over w/ him

and listen first This Time ok???

we both know that no matter how many times u try to run from it

it’ll only keep chasing u to the farthest corners of this planet

besides

u never know how far the truth can be from what only meets YOUR eye

 

Tooru:

i promise

to try

 

Satori:

eh, good enuff

proud of u ;)

 

Tooru:

thanks red :(

any update on when u’re gonna be manila-bound?

I AM THIS 🤏 CLOSE FROM TOSSING U IN A PLANE MYSELF

 

Satori:

HAHAHA miss u too boo 😘

soon, i promise

 

Tooru:

i’ll hold u to that

oh & guess what

the clients and financier approved 🥳

the hotel u told me 2 go to?

WE'RE HOLDING THE WEDDING THERE <33

isn’t that great!!!!!!!!

Read 10:39 AM

 

Today at 10:42 AM

 

Satori:

wow, that’s

GREAT!!!!!!

🥳

you're welcome hehe

 

Tooru:

i’m curious

how'd u even find that place????

 

Satori:

wellllll

that's a story for another time 🤣

Read 11:33 AM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

satori @cestdoux

maybe it isn’t too late to miss the wedding due to ‘unforeseen circumstances’ jk

11:34 21/07/21

(DELETED)



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

July 21, 12:00 PM

 

Tooru:

hey

loser

i need 2 ask u smthn

yuhoo

wtf it’s like 12, lunch break hello???

HEY

Delivered.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

@/iwaizumihajime move the glass before i smash it over your head

12:11 21/07/21

satori @cestdoux 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

chief’s probably regretting his life choices now

 

atsumu 🔒 @thebettermiya 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

HOW BOUT MOVING THE GLASS ON THE OUIJA BOARD FIRST DEMON



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

 

Tooru:

i’m just gonna keep spamming u lol

IWACHAN

 

Hajime:

think i liked it better when you hated my guts.

 

Tooru:

ohmygod FINALLY

 

Hajime:

i’m working. make it quick.

 

Tooru:

u R aware that a lunch hour exists 4 a reason

 

Hajime:

relax, mother hen. i’m not going to starve.

 

Tooru:

uhh no?

it exists so u can REPLY TO ME 😠

 

Hajime:

needy.

aight. what can i do for you, your sassiness?

 

Tooru:

it’s about the photographer

w8 aren’t u gonna eat?

 

Hajime:

what about the photographer?

 

Tooru:

ANSWER MY QUESTION

 

Hajime:

in a bit. i have consultations in a few minutes.

Read 12:16 PM

 

Today at 12:19 PM

 

Tooru:

UGH

i’ll msg u after your shift

 

Hajime:

out with it.

 

Tooru:

if i do u’ll kick up a fuss over my unbureaucratic leadership

EAT



Hajime:

i can do that while texting, team leader.

 

Tooru:

SHUSH

still no

u hate phones at the table

 

Hajime:

huh.

you remember.

 

Tooru:

what NOW

 

Hajime:

that peeve, you remember.

Read 12:25 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

(MEME: “What is this, the floor?” from Spongebob)

12:26 21/07/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial. 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

dumbass keeps sHOOTING HIMSELF IN THE FOOT



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 12:32 PM

 

Tooru:

wEL LDUH

it’s common etiquette

 

Hajime:

you specifically meant me tho.

 

Tooru:

bc i’m talking 2 u????

now quit yapping and just EAT

the hunger is fogging your brain funny

 

Hajime:

careful, sweetheart.

it’s starting to sound like you care.

don’t want to go giving a guy ideas now, do you?

 

Tooru:

HAHAHAHSHAJSHHAHSA

u’re hilarious

hilariously abominable

 

Hajime:

pleasure’s all mine.

seriously, tell meeeee.

 

Tooru:

I SAID

 

Hajime:

i’ll always make time for you.

Read 12:40 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

takahiro @californiamakki

oomf put his phone down then breathed like a keyboard warrior going into battle hope he’s ok

12:41 21/07/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial. 2m

Replying to @californiamakki

HANAMAKI STOP BEING A SNOOPY LIL SHIT CHALLENGE: FAILED



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 12:43 PM

 

Tooru:

k 👍👍👍

u’re friends w/ matsukawa issei right?

the guy w/ The Eyebrows

he used 2 hang out in your & tetsuro’s dorm all the time

 

Hajime:

ah.

didn’t you use to have a crush on him or something?

 

Tooru:

??????

 

Hajime:

no.

 

Tooru:

wdym NO

 

Hajime:

not giving you his number.

 

Tooru:

what the GIBBERISH r u on abt

 

Hajime:

isn’t that why you’re asking?

 

Tooru:

SDKSFKJHS

i’m ASKING

because i saw his work on a site

i was wondering if he does events

 

Hajime:

oh.

 

Tooru:

r u srsly incapable of NOT assuming every 5 secs

smh

 

Hajime:

like you’re any better, shittykawa.

 

Tooru:

gonna IGNORE that

so does he or does he not

is he fully-booked rn?

 

Hajime:

don’t contact him, i’ll do it.

 

Tooru:

????

what happened 2 “can’t talk, medical hustle” 🤨

plus u don’t even know the deets CHUMP

 

Hajime:

send them over.

 

Tooru:

wtf i can do it

 

Hajime:

are you going to let me make your life easier or not?

Read 12:43 PM

 

Today at 12:46 PM

 

Tooru:

check ur email l8r 🙄

 

Hajime:

there. wasn’t so hard now, was it?

 

Tooru:

QUIET

anw don’t forget we’re picking out tableware this saturday

 

Hajime:

crossing it on the calendar, as we speak.

 

Tooru:

oki das abt it

u can carry on w/

saving lives or whtvr

hope your lunch tastes like shit <33

 

Hajime:

how thoughtful.

cafeteria special’s adobo today but thanks, you too.

 

Tooru:

basic bitch

 

Hajime:

rich coming from someone who’s favorite is tinola.

 

Tooru:

CHOKE 🥰 🥰 🥰

for the record

it wasn’t mattsun i had a crush on back then

it was SAMU ;p

Read 12:51 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

🔒 @godziva

@samurice you have an appointment with me this sunday.

12:52 07/21/21

Osamu @samurice 1m

Replying to @godziva

nothing’s wrong with me?

 

🔒 @godziva 2s

Replying to @samurice

there will be.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Tooru ✔ @theoikawatooru

if u see this on ur tl it’s a DISTRESS SIGNAL SEND HELP 🆘  🆘  🆘  🆘  🆘 ❗❗⚠️ ❗🚨 ⚠️

08:44 24/07/21

5.6K Retweets 789 Quote Tweets 9K Likes

🦉 🔒 @hoothoot   12m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial 

WHAT’S HAPPENING WHAT’S THE DISTRESS

 

🦉 🔒 @hoothoot   11m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial 

WAIT AREN’T U SUPPOSED TO BE WITH KUYA IWA

 

🦉 🔒 @hoothoot   11m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial 

RURUUU

 

🔒 @godziwa 10m

Replying to @hoothoot

he’s just being a diva over the stereo. i got him.

 

Keiji @keiji.akaashi 5m

Replying to @godziwa

Please don’t tweet while driving.

 

Keiji @keiji.akaashi 5m

Replying to @keiji.akaashi

And stop torturing our planner with your rap music.

 

🔒 @godziwa 1m

Replying to @keiji.akaashi

no promises. 😂



ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

ok this is gonna sound crazy but I Swear this car has been FOLLOWING us

08:51 24/07/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 4m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial 

if neither of us makes it home today pLS FIND ME!!!!!! i refuse these lyrics 2 be the 

last thing stuck in my head 😭

 

k 🔒 @applepi

Replying to @xtratoorustrial 18s

dw we’ll stuff your corpses in the trunk nicely together 



✎✐





Kenma Kozume (24)

aka the ALOOF BEST MAN


  • Founder and Developer of KODZUKEN Games
  • Akaashi Keiji’s college roommate
  • can literally buy you and everything/everyone you love
  • dating Tetsuro Kuroo
  • keeps getting added to (and leaving) the world tour group chat

Tetsuro Kuroo (27)

aka the DIABOLICAL BEST MAN


  • Chemical engineer at NKM Petroleum
  • Koutaro Bokuto’s “original” best friend since high school
  • recruited everyone into the b0ssxzc bente un0 group chat against their will
  • dating Kenma Kozume
  • currently scheming planning the most genius parent trap bachelor party




✎✐



TWITTER

 

Kuroo @tetzkuro 

me and kenma while @theoikawatooru explains the difference between bone china and fine china: (PHOTO: shaky selfie of a confused Tetsuro and a mildly irritated Kenma)

09:35 25/07/21

Kuroo @tetzkuro 3m

Replying to @tetzkuro

WDYM THEY’RE NOT THE SAME KIND OF PLATE STOP NODDING ALONG 

TO EVERYTHING HE SAYS @iwaizumihajime YOU DON’T GET SHIT EITHER

 

k 🔒 @applepi 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro

why did i let u talk me into doing this again?

 

Kuroo @tetzkuro 1m

Replying to @applepi

babe we agreed that you needed the sun and fresh air

 

k 🔒 @applepi

Replying to @tetzkuro 48s

could’ve had that in hawaii or smthn

 

🔒 @godziwa 12s

Replying to @applepi

both of you quit flirting before ruffles here starts chucking cutlery.



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

kuting (Filipino word for kitten)

July 25, 12:02 PM

 

Kenma:

are we heading straight there or

 

Tooru:

oh shoot sorry r u guys hungry?

let’s grab a bite first

we'll shop for stationery & decor after

 

Kenma:

👍

don't u like 

hire ppl to do this kind of stuff?

 

Tooru:

we have a budget 😬

besides i enjoy the process

 

Kenma:

lmao cuz of the company?

 

Tooru:

WHA

GDYWUD

NO

where'd u evn GEt thst

it's

Convenient

ok????

 

Kenma:

hahaha sure

 

Tooru:

ANW

u guys r free to not tag along if there’s somewhere else u’d both rather be

this pru can be tedious :<

 

Kenma:

Come what sorrow can, it cannot countervail the exchange of joy; for the sight of lovers feedeth those in love.

— kuro

 

Tooru:

TETSURO EYES ON THE ROAD

 

Kenma:

that was voice-typed

 

Tooru:

[voice message: “And there are a lot of things wrong about what you said! Namely, two-thirds of it came from Romeo and Juliet, the last from As You Like It. Next time you quote Shakespeare to me—(laughter in the background) Oh put a sock in it, Iwa-chan!”]

 

Kenma:

“idk this homie u call shakespeare but he seems like a rad fella invite him over for drinks & a poetry duel next time” — k

 

Tooru is typing…

 

Kenma:

he's right tho

not the love crap

but this not being a hassle

kej asked himself

plus it’s been a while since i last saw u so

 

Tooru:

🥺

KENMAAAAA T^T

 

Kenma:

changed my mind, we're turning the car around

 

Tooru:

NOPE

u’re gonna be a Good Best Man & chaperone us 

bc i missed hanging out w/ u guys too 😤

 

Kenma:

whatever

kuro says to check the pouch he gave kuya iwa when we left the hotel

Read 12:20 PM

 

Today at 12:22 PM

 

Tooru:

kenma

what r these

(PHOTO: cap and sunglasses)

 

Kenma:

(GIF: sighing)



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Kuroo @tetzkuro

EXCUSE ME, BIG BRAIN COMIN THRU 😎

12:26 24/07/21

k 🔒 @applepi

Replying to @themitri 2m

kuro we look like ourselves in a baseball game

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @tetzkuro

kuroo ur brain is ten sizes smaller than a baseball

 

🔒 @godziwa 30s

Replying to @tetzkuro 

kuroo, you don’t have a brain.



Kuroo @tetzkuro

and when the press later swarms you fucking INGRATES

12:33 24/07/21

🦉 🔒 @hoothoot 1m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

good thing my bro aint got no fame and fans who care about him right my bro 😎

 

Kuroo @tetzkuro 20s

Replying to @hoothoot

THANKS FOR THE FUCKING SUPPORT

 

🦉 🔒 @hoothoot 1m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

ANYTIME (GIF: finger funs)



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 2:12 PM

 

Hajime:

(PHOTO: tablecloth)

this one?

 

Tooru:

SKDJSJFK

NO

 

Hajime:

?

that’s the exact shade in the photo you sent me.

 

Tooru:

OXFORD

IT SAYS OXFORD BLUE

THAT’S PRUSSIAN!!!!!

 

Hajime:

the fuck.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Hajime ✔ @iwaizumihajime

they’re all just blue to me.

14:22 24/07/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @iwaizumihajime

@keiji.akaashi can i fire him

 

Keiji @keiji.akaashi 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

Sorry Kuya, he’s self-employed. My hands are tied. 😅



✎✐

 

 

MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 3:13 PM

 

Tooru:

iwaizumi

this is champagne

 

Hajime:

fucking tetsuro.

put it back, no one’s drinking.

 

Tooru:

no DONATELLO, I Meant

(PHOTO: table napkin)

these napkins are Champagne

Read 3:17 PM

 

Today at 3:20 PM

 

Hajime:

was that not what you asked for?

 

Tooru:

:))))

COSMIC LATTE

 

Hajime:

is

that not the same thing?

Read 3:22 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

(MEME: “I’m shaking, you guys.”)

15:24 24/07/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial 

everyday .. the lord tests me .. and the more he does the farther i stray from the light



Kuroo @tetzkuro

I’M DONE. I RESIGN. 

15:57 24/07/21

Kuroo @tetzkuro 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

@blazingbokuto either bribe a new best man or hire a new planner THIS ONE’S WHIPPING ME INTO SHAPE WORSE THAN THE MILITARY EVER COULD

 

Kuroo @tetzkuro 1m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

kenma 👉👈 haha jk unless..?

 

k 🔒 @applepi

Replying to @tetzkuro 10s

g



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

Today at 6:00 PM

 

Kenma:

he's doing it on purpose

 

Kuroo:

iwaizumi? definitely

see that grin? no way the prick's not cooking it all up

 

Kenma:

how many times can someone possibly mess up beige five consecutive times

Read 6:02 PM

 

Today at 4:04 PM

 

Kuroo:

ok maybe not ALL 

he really is shit with color

(PHOTO: Tooru’s and Hajime’s heads bent together as they peer down at a phone screen.)

but for someone who's being chewed out by TOORU, he looks too cozy being all up in ex’s personal space

 

Kenma:

yeah

so

 

Kuroo:

sooo

 

Kenma:

new marvel movie is up

while they're distracted?

 

Kuroo:

😻

popcorn’s on me

Read 4:08 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Kuroo @tetzkuro

adios amigos ya boi’s got a date 🤙

16:09 24/07/21

Issei @mattsun 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

thought you were babysitting

 

Kuroo @tetzkuro 1m

Replying to @mattsun 

not a miranda priestly incarnate who’s out for blood and his cheeky sidekick as stubborn as a goat we’re not



✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORIES

 

kodzuken ✔ 15m 🎟 @tetzkuro

 

✎✐

 

MESSAGES

 

cockfighting champ

July 27, 4:58 PM

 

Hajime:

oi.

where’d you go?

 

Kuroo:

eloped

 

Hajime:

oikawa’s looking for kozume, god of love.

 

Kuroo:

FUCK YOU

after treating me like your scapegoat and abusing my benevolence?!?!?!?!

YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN

Read 5:01 PM

 

Today at 5:06 PM

 

Hajime:

sorry.

 

Kuroo:

it’s cool, man

we get it 

you don’t like your snazzy style getting cramped in front of the missus

there's no shame in submission ✊

 

Hajime:

submitting you six feet underground sounds appealing right now.

seriously, you guys aren’t coming back?

 

Kuroo:

no can do chief

give us an iwaoi ‘comeback’ and we’ll think about it 😻

 

Hajime:

nevermind. show your face and i’ll beat the shit out of it.

 

Kuroo:

HAHAHAHA

welp, movie’s starting

it’s been a while since i last hogged my boyfriend so shoo

 

Hajime:

alright, we’re off then.

 

Kuroo:

WAIT, ALREADY?

 

Hajime:

 

Kuroo:

hehe

kenma got you lovebirds a reservation for two

enjoy ;)

Read 5:18 PM

 

✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORIES

 

(DRAFT)

iwaizumihajime 📍Il Posto Italiano @theoikawatooru



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

tricycle

July 27, 7:13 PM

 

Keiji:

Kuya @Tooru, are you guys home? 

 

Tooru:

SHOOT SRY HI

we just got in the car

 

Koutaro:

RURUUU

tetsu told me u weren’t with them

have u eaten?

 

Tooru:

i have i have dw

 

Keiji:

Is Kuya Iwa with you?

 

Tooru:

drivinggg

do u need me to pass on a msg?

 

Keiji:

Oh, it's fine hahaha.

Just a feeling.

Seen by everyone.

 

Today at 7:20 PM

 

Tooru:

um

actually

 

Keiji:

Is there something wrong?

 

Tooru:

we kind of

ran into

your dad

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

it’s so quiet

20:20 24/07/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 27m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

as much as i hate to admit it i Miss his Atrocious music

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 26m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

his thoughts are ever most deafening

 

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

ok he really dropped me off w/o a word hNGG should i have SAID something????

20:48 24/07/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

but then again i’m not in the place to & i doubt i wouldn’t have only made things Worse

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

i just .. need him 2 be ok



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG👺

July 24, 8:52 PM

 

Tooru:

hi

thanks for the um

ride 

msg me when u’re no longer driving

or not

that's ok too

:)

 

Today at 9:20 PM

 

Hajime:

hey.

 

Tooru:

SKDJSKFS@#$#234

HI

*hi

 

Hajime:

sorry, were you waiting for me?

 

Tooru:

AS IF

🤢

R u home tho

 

Hajime:

i am now.

 

Tooru:

???

 

Hajime:

nothing.

go rest, weirdo.

 

Tooru:

not tired yet

hbu

 

Hajime:

might do a couple of case studies.

 

Tooru:

ohhh

do u want me to leave u be or 

 

Hajime:

nah, you're good.

 

Tooru:

okkk

sooooo

that risotto was smthn

 

Hajime:

oikawa.

it's alright.

you can ask.

 

Tooru:

SORRY

i don’t mean to seem intrusive

it’s your stuff so u do u

NOT THAT IM NOT INTERESTED

WHICH I AM

JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT I SWEAR

but that's your privacy so

sorry

 

Hajime:

hahaha, i really don’t mind.

it’s you.

Read 9:30 PM

 

Today at 9:32 PM

 

Tooru:

u ok?

 

Hajime:

yeah, that’s just how we are.

sorry, did we make you uncomfy?

 

Tooru:

PSH ME??? cool as a cucumber

ngl it was a liiiil awkward 

but nothing i can't handle 😼

u should've seen when koushi got sloshed during their rehearsal dinner

almost gave daichi & the ENTIRE SAWAMURA CLAN a strip tease

now That's Uncomfy

 

Hajime:

HAHAHAHAHA

really? 

 

Tooru:

YES

atsu took pix & everything 

i almost resigned on the spot too 🙃

 

Hajime:

sounds like one hell of an affair. remind me to ask kuroo about it.

 

Tooru:

will do 🫡

ligalig is typing…

Read 9:38 PM

ligalig is typing…

Read 9:38 PM

ligalig is typing…

Read 9:38 PM

 

Hajime:

i can see you spiraling from here.

 

Tooru:

SORRY 

 

Hajime:

now, you’re making me want to switch the swear jar for a dollar every apology.

Read 9:45 PM

 

Today at 9:48 PM

 

Tooru:

if

u don’t mind me asking

your parents

r they .. ?

 

Hajime:

separated?

 

Tooru:

yeah ://

 

Hajime:

my father's side wanted them to.

when they first found out about kej, they demanded not to disgrace my mom's family any further.

 

Tooru:

how did your mom take it?

 

Hajime:

like a champ. straight up refused.

for me

and her husband.

kej and his mom would’ve been forced out in the open and dragged into our shitty family drama.

she didn't want to sentence them with that kind of shame.

 

Tooru:

PAUSE

u mean

 keiji’s mom & your dad aren't

 

Hajime:

first and last time they met was in a bistro she was working at as a waitress in singapore when he had a conference there.

apparently, he rescued her from getting assaulted by a drunk colleague and drove her home.

he was already one too many drinks in, so she offered him a place to stay. rest is history.

it was all consensual far as i’m aware.

 

Tooru:

she didn't know, did she?

that he was married

 

Hajime:

it's why it took twenty years before we met keiji.

by chance, at that.

 

Tooru:

shit

I introduced u to kej 

to help him w/ an assignment

 

Hajime:

and i got him that interview with our father.

 

Tooru:

oh my god

 

Hajime:

shittykawa, no blame games.

you didn’t know.

 

Tooru:

nO WAI TKSOFQ

jUst procsesing

*processinh

hNGG

ok sry i'm: Clam

*CALM

 

Hajime:

you good? 😂

 

Tooru:

hold on

u mentioned before that

your parents' marriage was

 

Hajime:

arranged.

funny thing is, mom was the first and only person he told the second he got back.

it was only after that when they truly started being friends.

 

Tooru:

she was AWARE???

 

Hajime:

this whole time.

 

Tooru:

holy shit

ur mom is a Made of Steel

 

Hajime:

she is.

 

Tooru:

u don't

sound glad about it

 

Hajime:

that obvious? 😂

 

Tooru:

subtlety never was your strongest suit 🙄

 

Hajime:

guess not.

Read 10:05 PM

 

Hajime:

sometimes, i wish she didn't know.

 

Tooru:

but

isn’t that more favorable?

nobody was actually betrayed

 

Hajime:

wasn’t there?

mom may have forgiven him, fallen in love with him despite even.

but he still betrayed their marriage

when i was already in the picture.

Read 10:07 PM

 

Hajime:

it was a long time ago haha

 

Tooru:

doesn't make how you feel any less here :(

hajime

 

Hajime:

i know.

 

Tooru:

u don’t

blame yourself, do u?

 

Hajime:

every now and then.

Read 10:09 PM

 

Today at 10:12 PM

 

Tooru:

hey :(

i know i offered to only listen but

can i be frank?

 

Hajime:

was waiting for you to crack, honestly. 😂

keeping quiet for that long must’ve been killing you.

 

Tooru:

SHUSH

do U really want me to stop talking? 🤨

Read 10:15 PM

 

Today at 10:17 PM

 

Hajime:

can i be frank?

 

Tooru:

no

 

Hajime:

🤐

knock yourself out.

 

Tooru:

none of it was ur fault

 

BULABOG is typing…

 

Tooru:

no, i said LISTEN. stop typing.

they were all adults who made their own conscious decisions

if anything They should be the ones held culpable for not taking into account how their actions would boomerang back to U

and don't give me that “if only i was enough” crap

u were 4 FREAKING YRS OLD!!!!! u didn’t know any better and neither should u have

they had a responsibility to U

not the other way around

& u never EVER need to prove yourself or earn your right to be wanted

so yes

i say it's OK to be mad at ur dad

or ur mom

even if they truly believed that it was for ur benefit 

u r not obligated to be immune to the hurt they cause

or forgive if it doesn't feel right 2 u

u’re not your parents’ sins

 

Hajime:

it's not just me anymore.

 

Tooru:

i know :(

 

Hajime:

i can’t help but hate how hard it must’ve been for tita all those years.

keiji grew up deprived of my comforts, my privilege, and half the number of parents i had.

 

Tooru:

and that's what made him who he is now

the bright & kind person we love

sure it doesn’t justify what’s been done

but silver linings

 if kej’s accepted everything and moved forward

maybe so should we

baby steps

 

Hajime:

i just wish i could’ve been there for him.

 

Tooru:

u’re here Now

that's all that matters

Read 10:33 PM

 

Today at 10:34 PM

 

Hajime:

can't believe you still always know what to say, nosybody.

 

Tooru:

well SOMEONE has to knock the sense into u 😾

besides if keiji could only hear all the stuff u were saying, he would’ve smacked u w/ one of his encyclopedias

that kid ADORES u

 

Hajime:

HAHAHA he actually did that to me once.

 

Tooru:

out of ADORATION i bet

on a more srs note tho, u feeling better?

 

Hajime:

a bit.

thanks ru :)

 

Tooru:

good

it helps being able to let the steam out once in a while

 

Hajime:

nicer to have someone listen too.

 

Tooru:

tbf u used to do this a lot for me back in the day 🤷

and i wasn't able to do it for u during these past years especially when u needed me to more

 

Hajime:

you're here, now.

that's all that matters.

Read 10:47 PM

 

✎✐

 

TWITTER

 

🔒 @godziwa

and i’m never letting you slip through my fingers again, not this time.

22:48 24/07/21



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

world tour

July 30, 10:30 PM

 

Atsumu:

monday morning

 

Alisa:

it could work!!! i’ll book a red-eye for the night after

sato hbuuu

 

Satori:

why the hell not 😹

 

Koushi:

hear me laugh when y’all end up at the wrong places

 

Atsumu:

NO ONE ASKED U DEBBIE DOWNER

 

Tooru:

what's all the kerfuffle here about? 🤨

 

Koushi:

well well well

if it isn't july's favorite headliner 

thanks for the proof of life, we were already deciding whether to have your account memorialized

 

Tooru:

i was here YESTERDAY

 

Atsumu:

BITCH THAT WAS WRONGLY SENT????

 

Tooru:

the gc kept popping up while i was chatting the florist what did u EXPECT

 

Alisa:

AHA >:((

so u have been avoiding us 

 

Tooru:

I’M NOT

why would i? 😂

 

Koushi:

🤥

 

Atsumu:

SURE CAPTAIN OBVIOUS

new bestie’s monopolizing your time huh 😜 😜

 

Tooru:

tf u mean bestie

 

Alisa:

u ARE with him a lot more often now 🧐

 

Tooru:

bcuz i HAVE to????

and it's not THAT “often”

jsyk

 

Koushi:

ahuh

where do u have an appointment again tmrw?

 

Tooru:

the flower shop?

 

Koushi:

wiiiith? 

Seen 10:39 PM

 

Today at 10:42 PM

 

Atsumu:

we can see u reading our msgs DUMBASS

 

Tooru:

sorry selective vision

so back 2 your earlier discussion

 

Keiji:

They're planning to align layovers in Bangkok so they can all fly to Manila together.

 

Tooru:

🗿

that's impractical

atsumu changes partners more frequently than flight scheds are followed thru

 

Satori:

since when did atsumu have an active dating pool?

 

Tooru:

exactly

 

Atsumu:

OK FUCKER LET’S SEE IF PEOPLE WOULD STILL BE COMING HOME TO A WEDDING AFTER I BURY U ALIVE 👍👍👍👍👍

 

Satori:

tickets for delayed flights are on fleur 🥰

 

Alisa:

WHY ME

 

Koushi:

it was your idea???

 

Atsumu:

AHEM

i mean we could squabble all evening about this but we all know there’s a more *comfortable alternative* 👉👈

 

 Tooru:

right, because one of us owns a private jet or smthn 🙄

 

Atsumu added Kenma Kozume.

 

Kenma:

u’re gassing it up

 

Atsumu:

YOUR FAVORITE NEPHEW-IN-LAW WOULD BE HITCHING WITH US

(PHOTO: selfie of Atsumu with five-year old Shoyo)

 

Kenma:

*keiji’s

 

Keiji:

You hog him whenever I bring him over.

 

Kenma:

and nice try, shoyo doesn't like fast crafts

 

Tooru:

give it a rest atsu

we ALL know there's only ONE person w/ free rein over The Great Kozume Kenma's assets 🤷🏻

 

Keiji:

Maybe Kuya Tetsuro would be glad to fetch you guys.

 

Tooru:

GREAT idea keiji

 

Kenma:

istg if any of u so much as bothers him

 

Keiji:

He does have the incapacity to say no to a friend of Kenma’s.

 

Kenma:

fuck u

 

Satori:

IS THIS FR????

 

Keiji:

“What's mine is his.”

 

 Tooru:

kenma’s words, not ours

 

Keiji:

And yet Kuya never takes anything.

 

Tooru:

bc he only wants is his little meow meow 🥺

 

Kenma left the conversation.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

atsumu 🔒 @thebettermiya

idk whether i wanna be kenma or kuya tetsuro just WHEN WILL IT BE MY FUCKING TURN 

23:08 30/07/21

atsumu 🔒 @thebettermiya 4m

Replying to @thebettermiya 

@applepi is ur relationship open for a third

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 3m

Replying to @thebettermiya 

u wouldn’t even pass as their PET

 

atsumu 🔒 @thebettermiya 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial 

SHUT UP JAN

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @thebettermiya 

THAT’S NOT HOW IT GOES



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

world tour

 

Keiji added Kenma.

 

Alisa:

when u’re more of a married couple than the actual ppl who are/getting 😭

 

Kenma:

are we? ask the pair who fights like one over scented candles

 

Tooru:

LISTEN

cinnamon vanilla smells sweeter

but vanilla oakwood has More Character

 

Kenma:

as kuya iwa said & i quote

“what the fuck does that even mean”

 

Tooru:

how is it MY fault if he has olfactory damage 🙄

 

Kenma:

we got kicked out of 3 stores

 

Tooru:

correction: we Walked Out

of our OWN VOLITION!!!!!!!

 

Koushi:

holy shit

you were trying to impress him

 

Tooru:

wha

nO

NO I

 

Alisa:

OMG U WERE

 

Tooru:

I WA SNOT

i have Extensive knowledge on the subj

ofc i would be particular!!!!

 

Kenma:

we got that from the crash course on drapery design

didn't need to know eight ways how to style a fucking curtain

 

Satori:

WTF HAHQHAHWJEJQ

 

Atsumu:

DISASTER GAY CAUGHT IN 4K

 

Tooru:

R U ALL MENTAL

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO

“iMPrEsS hIm”

I’M DOING THIS FOR BOKUAKA

 

Koushi:

who are you still convincing here, us or yourself?

Seen by everyone.

 

Today at 11:23 PM

 

Keiji:

Kuya Haji thought it was cool.

 

Tooru:

YOUR KUYA

what

 

Keiji:

Yeah, he liked that you put so much thought and effort into learning these things.

 

Tooru:

REALLY????

 

Satori:

👀

 

Koushi:

👀

 

Alisa:

👀

 

Atsumu:

👀

 

Tooru:

i mean

AS HE SHOULD

 

Kenma:

did he really kej?

 

Keiji:

Well

it was more of an implication?

 

Satori:

HAHAHAHAJDKWKRL

 

Tooru:

(((:

i trusted u

 

Koushi:

disappointed?

 

Tooru:

about what? that simpleton’s lack of artistic profundity?

idc 😷

 

Kenma:

kinda sounds like you do

 

Tooru:

GOD WHY ARE YOU ALL SO DEEPLY INVESTED IN US

 

Atsumu:

WHY ARE YOU SO DEEPLY DEFENSIVE ABOUT IT

 

Tooru:

because i don’t see how it's any of your business lmao

 

Satori:

whoa

chill boo, no one’s interrogating

 

Alisa:

sorry, we're not trying to pry :<

it's just

u've been distant these past couple of weeks

 

Tooru:

no no it's

my fault 

i’m sry 4 snapping

ik u guys r just worried abt me

 

Koushi:

bonehead

we didn’t mean to make it seem like we’re horning in on your stuff

if u feel uneasy confiding, that's fine we respect that

but don't keep us completely out of the loop, yeah?

you have a talent for bottling up all your problems

 

Alisa:

we wanna be there for you like you've been for us 🥺

 

Atsumu:

U’RE STILL OUR FRIEND FREAKFACE

it’s our job to screen whoever’s stupid enough to commit a crime or to smthn with u

 

Tooru:

😭😭😭 

TSUM TSUM

 

Atsumu:

FUCKING BABY

WHO TF R U CALLING TSUM TSUM U’RE NOT MY GRANDMA 

 

Tooru:

but srsly

thanks guys :((

i promise i’ll tell u everything once things are settled & more stable

 

Keiji:

Whenever you're ready, Kuya :)

 

Koushi:

though this does raise a question i’m pretty sure we all share an interest in hearing the answer to

if that’s okay?

 

Tooru:

shoot

 

Koushi:

what exactly is your plan?

i mean

once the wedding is done and over with and nothing’s tying u both up in a tentative truce anymore

what then?

Seen by everyone.



✎✐



July 31, 2021

8:16 AM



“Where are you?”

Tooru’s consciousness fuses back into his body at the sound of Hajime’s voice. His vision registers the blur of buildings outside the window and suddenly remembers where he physically is at the moment. Turning to his driver, who has been throwing him glances for the past hour, Tooru manages a dazed, “Huh?”

Hajime arches an eyebrow and takes a dekko at the road. “You seem like you’re elsewhere.” After shifting gears, he looks at him with concern swimming in his eyes and in the tenderest tone Tooru's heard from him in a while, asks, “Still with me?”

Aliens. Tiny little aliens playing volleyball in Tooru’s stomach.

The traffic light blinks red—the same hue as his cheeks—and the Jeep stops. Tooru flinches at the crack of the hand break and opens his phone to scroll through Twitter to feign ignorance at the concerned gaze trained on him. “Yeah, everything's—everything's fine, just going through stuff in my head. Yep.”

Judging by the silent inspection Hajime doesn't let up, Tooru knows his excuse wasn't received with the credence he was hoping for. He doesn't make an effort to sell it, aware that he's really not in the optimum condition to lie.

“You sure? You're not feeling sick, are you?” 

Martian Team A wins a set—

Tooru finds an opening to steer the conversation away, so he draws a hand to his mouth as he exaggeratedly bats his lashes in faux coyness. “Aww. Worried about li'l ol' me, Iwa-chan?”

It garners the expected reaction of a scowl and a flick to his forehead. “Annoying,” Hajime grumbles, and drives the vehicle forward at the green signal, ears a little pink. Tooru giggles, rubbing the spot where the finger smacked. “No need to be shy. No one faults you for falling prey to my irresistibility.”

“I’m kicking you out at the next stop.”

“Meanie.”



✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORIES

 

theoikawatooru ✔ 13m 📍The Greenhouse

 

guchigang10m check out who visited the shop today 😍 @theoikawatooru



✎✐

 

TWITTER

 

tadashi @guchigang

GRR WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO BE THIS CUTE

09:39 31/07/21

tadashi @guchigang 2m

Replying to @guchigang

non verbatim:

 

“PLS u can’t even tell the diff between peonies and—”

“a ranunculus?”

“...”

“[smirks]”

“u dID UR HOMEWORK”

“losing to u was getting old, sunshine”

 

tadashi @guchigang 1m

Replying to @guchigang

now they’re competing to see who can name the most flowers!!!!! RIGHT IN FRONT 

OF MY SALAD????



tadashi @guchigang

ok not cute they’re fighting now HELP

09:48 31/07/21

tadashi @guchigang 2m

Replying to @guchigang

good sirs they’re just flower combinations pls don’t make a crime scene in here 😭



✎✐



July 31, 2021

9:50 AM

 

Tadashi loves The Greenhouse.

He loves waking up early to open up his grandmother's shop before leaving for his classes in the morning, and manning it on days he can bring school to the front counter in between arranging bouquets and plant caretaking. He loves the smell of fresh spring during any season; and most of all, he loves helping convey unspoken messages and bridging souls together—

“You’re not serious.”

“It looks fine.”

“Oh, does it now? Orange tiger lilies?”

“Aren't you usually one for flair and festivity?”

“Not when we already settled on a motif. Earth tones! Phthalo greens, cinnamon, royal blue, salmon, and gray. Where do you plan on wedging those in?!”

—but there are times, though scarce, that make him second-guess his little hobby. 

Tadashi's lips are stretched in an awkward smile (more of a show of teeth at this point) as the two continue to argue. He stores the pasalubong from Tooru under the desk just to keep his hands busy and himself from screaming into them.

The scene reminds him of a pair of rivals across certain forms of media whose verbal sparring is more entertaining than the physical confrontations itself, revealing an unorthodox depth and complexity that none other relationship in the storyline has and if spectated in real life, would urge anyone both to tarry and wish to be anywhere else. 

The resemblance is definitely there, present in the manner they beheld each other with poorly-concealed affection. He snickers to himself. How curious.

“They’ll be what I’m switching out your broom flowers for.”

Tooru gasps. “How dare—They do not resemble a broom and you are not touching them! They're dried flowers. Troglodytes like you just don't know ru even if it hits you in the face!”

“Why you little—”

“If neither of you are capable of demonstrating proper decorum, then I would have to ask you to leave the premises.”

All three heads jerk to the direction of the new voice and Tadashi blinks at the sudden wall of austerity, long limbs and a crisp white shirt obstructing his view. Saucer eyes dru to the door, nonplussed by how distrait he was that he missed the chimes that should've alerted them of the man's arrival. 

Tooru and Hajime stare back at the white light captured in rectangular rimmed lenses like an apathetic villain's in an anime. Piano fingers prod the bridge of his glasses up, and the honey-colored glare of the towering figure materializes. “Promptly.”



✎✐





Tadashi Yamaguchi (22)

aka the FAVORITE FLORIST


  • future owner of The Greenhouse
  • met and instantly adopted by Tooru Oikawa during Daichi and Koushi’ wedding prep
  • a hopeless romantic and fluent in floriography
  • just a little oblivious

Kei Tsukishima (22)

aka the BEGRUDGING GROOMSMAN


  • law student
  • bailed Koutaro Bokuto and Tetsuro Kuroo out of a precinct after their first meeting in a bar skirmish-
  • loyal patron of “The Greenhouse” for ‘personal reasons’
  • everybody’s least favorite opinion




✎✐



July 31, 2021

10:01 AM



“Sir Tsukki!”

Tadashi rounds the counter and pinches a small region of Kei's sleeve followed by a reprimanding tug backwards. He ruefully smiles at his two older clients with a slight bow of his head. “Sorry about him. He’s our patron.” He cups a hand around his mouth and unsuccessfully whispers, “He doesn't like loud noises. Or people, in general.”

Kei scowls and gently shrugs him off. “Or incompetent whisperers.”

Tooru's jaw drops at the insolence. How rude is this kid? He steps forward, ready to chew the blonde out like yesterday's gum but Hajime only blocks him with an arm. Tadashi laughs and scratches the back of his head. “Sorry, Attorney.”

“Tsukishima,” Hajime addresses. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Kei leans his weight on the counter behind him. “Kuya Kuroo said you two would be by today.”

“So you came over to…” Tooru places a hand on his hip, cocking it to the side. “Crowd control?”

Kei boredly scans the rack of seed packets on the side. “Do as you please. Murder each other if you would be so kind.” He plucks a bag for sunflowers and shakes it. “I’m only here out of altruistic intentions to ensure you’ll do it elsewhere that wouldn’t cost a perfectly innocent establishment any business because of that little lovers’ spat of yours.”

Tooru rolls his eyes, about to retort when Hajime blurts out, “But you're allergic to pollen.”

The crunching of seeds stops.

And, it clicks.

The cloth mask over a surgical one, the unannounced visit, the purpose of it not being them, the defensive—protective stance when he got here, the peculiar absence of his voice's edge compared to when he speaks to them, the lingering side-eye he gave Tadashi when the spritely kid excused himself earlier to prepare an order.

Ah, how curious.

“I got your usual!” Said spritely kid emerges from the back room, clutching a bouquet of red carnations, gardenias, and daffodils wrapped in brown paper. Tooru's eyebrows almost reach his hairline at the symbolism behind the mini collection. This guy, he's not even subtle at all.

Kei's panic is replaced with a warning glower but Tooru's mind is already concocting. He simpers evilly before putting on the most pitiful expression that, if the younger wasn't watching it happen, would've convinced him too.

Dashi,” Tooru whines, dramatically slinking his arms around the florist. “I just remembered we still have a ton of things to take care of before the day. Suits, food, guests—you know how it is. We might not be able to oversee everything after all.”

“Oikawa, what—” Hajime's protest is cut off with a pained grunt when he doubles over from a sharp jab of an elbow to his gut.

Understanding etches on Tadashi's face and he nods. “No worries! You can leave everything to me.”

Poor, sweet, trusting Tadashi. It guilts and pains Tooru to forsake their future bonding time like this and load him with so much labor but this is for your love life, child.

“Are you sure? I mean, that's a lot of work. Maybe you can ask someone who'd be willing to give...” He maintains eye contact with Kei while emphasizing his next words. “...a hands-on assist.”

Kei looks like he wants to smash a vase on Tooru's head.

“Oh, I’ve handled big orders before. It’s no biggie!” Tadashi assures, pulling out an order pad with his free hand.

“And I'm very proud of you for that, but Koushi told me you almost got admitted the last time you pushed yourself too hard.” Emotion flashes in Kei's eyes. Checkmate. “I don't think it’s advisable for you to run along unsupervised and tiring yourself to dea—”

“He won't be.” 

Malefic eyes hide behind the light returning in his glasses as a dark halo surrounds Kei's head, bowed in begrudged surrender. He cranes his head to promise vengeance directly at Tooru, who only dares him with a jut of his chin. “Kuya Kuroo did always nag me to join extracurriculars. Might as well exercise my groomsman duties while I'm at it.”

Perfect!” Tadashi's eyes bulge at the piece of information all three of them have left out and before he can clarify, Tooru is already wrapping his ploy up. “You two have got it from here. Here's the list—and Attorney, you have Iwa-chan’s number for when you need to settle the bill.”

“Kuya Tooru—”

“Text me if you guys have any more questions. Bye, Dashi! Take care!” Tooru bids their farewells over his shoulder, towing a confused Hajime out of the shop.



✎✐



THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS

 

Red Carnations - love and affection

Gardenias - purity and gentleness, secret love

Daffodils - uncertainty, respect, faithfulness, chivalry



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

July 31, 7:03 PM

 

Hajime:

so you meddled.

 

Tooru:

no, i Played Cupid 😼

 

Hajime:

that's what we're calling lying and manipulation now?

 

Tooru:

DON’T PUT IT THAT WAY GRR

u make it sound like it was so terrible of a crime

 

Hajime:

i'll call it how i see it.

 

Tooru:

this is for a good cause ok??

we're Helping tadashi w/ his love life 💞

beside u almost Ruined the plan so ur opinion is INVALID

>:[

 

Hajime:

sorry, “we”?

i'm not taking pru in your ridiculous schemes, you little shit.

 

Tooru:

come OOON

 

Hajime:

tsukishima can and will orchestrate your assassination and get away with it.

 

Tooru:

he can & will NOT 

once he's smooching the freckles off of his new BOYFRIEND ;]

 

Hajime:

no.

 

Tooru:

IWA CHAAAN

we’re a team, aren't we 🥺

Read 7:10 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

🔒 @godziva

well, that’s just fucking cheating.

19:11 31/07/20



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 7:14 PM

 

Tooru:

HEY r u still there

 

Hajime:

a team, huh?

Read 7:15 PM

 

Today at 7:18 PM

 

Tooru:

on second thought

 

Hajime:

touch move. 

period no backsies locked it threw away the key 😂

 

Tooru:

what r u FIVE????

 

Hajime:

pot calling the kettle black.

 

Tooru:

u were litrly just saying u won't condone my ideas 5 mins ago 🤡

 

Hajime:

you'll probably need someone to clean your shit up when you flop.

eventually, that is.

 

Tooru:

exCUSE ME

my matchmaking skills are UNPARALLELED

besides NOW u’re willing 2 b my fall guy??? 🤨

 

Hajime:

if you're the one i'm falling for?

doesn't sound so bad.

Read 7:25 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

[wipes glasses]

19:26 31/07/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

sir what is w/ that wordplay 



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 7:31 PM

 

Tooru:

SHHUT YP

 

Hajime:

you're the boss.

 

Tooru:

UGHH

y r u hung up over this team thing anw

we’re litrly working together atm

 

Hajime:

just feels nice.

having you in my corner again.

 

Tooru:

isn't it the other way around?

since u’re in MY team

wouldn't that mean U’re in MY corner again 🤔

 

Hajime:

silly baby

i never left.

Read 7:36 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

(MEME: crashing through the window)

19:37    31/07/21



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 7:48 PM

 

Hajime:

oi.

you’re seriously going to leave me hanging just like that?

some things never change, i suppose. 

Delivered.

 

Today at 8:17 PM

 

Hajime:

for safety reasons, that was a joke.

oikawaaa.

 

Tooru:

cHeezus w AIT

iw as in the SHOWER

 

Hajime:

hoho room for one more?

 

Tooru:

🖕

don’t u have anything else better to do?

 

Hajime:

better than getting in your hair?

afraid none. 😁

 

Tooru:

charming

 

Hajime:

i try.

 

Tooru:

I WAS BEING SARCASTIC

 

Hajime:

really? couldn’t tell.

shit, sorry. if you’re actually busy, i can go.

Read 8:22 PM

 

Today at 8:26 PM

 

Tooru:

not really no

 

Hajime:

you sure?

 

Tooru:

yeah

ig i can tolerate u for a while

 

Hajime:

an honor, truly.

what are you up to?

 

Tooru:

research

 

Hajime:

marathoning chick flicks does not constitute research.

 

Tooru:

hOW DID U

 

Hajime:

your ig story.

confessions of a shopaholic. original.

don’t you have that memorized by now?

 

Tooru:

oh ryyyt

forgot i need YOUR approval w/ the things I occupy myself w/ in MY free time

 

Hajime:

just saying, that's not even about a wedding.

 

Tooru:

it HAS a wedding in it

screw rotten tomatoes this movie's ending is Chef's Kiss 👌✨

 

Hajime:

the ending in which they both just meet again on a random street.

 

Tooru:

east 70th and 71st st. of manhattan

865 madison avenue

Read 8:34 PM

 

Today at 8:37 PM

 

Hajime:

my mistake.

 

Tooru:

and it was freaking romantic, mind u!!!!!! 😤

HE HAD HER

 

Hajime:

yeah yeah. her desperately important scarf.

 

Tooru:

.

 

Hajime:

what?

 

Tooru:

:>>

 

Hajime:

?

 

Tooru:

for someone who “abhors” it, u quote luke brandon quite well :>>

Read 8:41 PM

 

Today at 8:45 PM

 

Tooru:

HEY HAHDJAHAHAHDHA

blush much? 🤣

 

Hajime:

be smug if you didn’t force me to sit through a rewatch every week for eight months.

aren’t you sick of it yet?

 

Tooru:

(GIF: gasping)

SICK OF IT ⁉️⁉️⁉️

your list of tropes that have gone stale with overuse needs revision

consider the ff: 🤢 airp*rt end*ngs 🤮

 

Hajime:

still not a fan of grand gestures, i take it.

 

Tooru:

listen if some loco makes a scene while i’m boarding

on FASHION WEEK nonetheless!!!!!!

i will LET airport security arrest his ass

 

Hajime:

sheesh. at least spare the poor guy some dignity.

 

Tooru:

well he should've left some for himself by Thinking of The Consequences beforehand

 

Hajime:

HAHAHAHA

yeah, you haven’t changed one bit.

 

Tooru:

?

 

Hajime:

i mean you have. for the most part.

but the little pieces that make you art.

it’s nice to know they’re still there.

Read 8:54 PM

 

Today at 8:56 PM

 

Hajime:

change isn't so bad either.

just means i get to know you all over again.

 

Tooru:

because there are Worse Things? 🙄

 

Hajime:

are you kidding me? it's the best part.

Read 8:59 PM

 

Tooru:

STOP WHAT R U DOING 2 ME STOP THIS RIGHT NOW

(Deleted.)

 

Tooru:

7/10

 

Hajime:

did you just

rate my move?

 

Tooru:

-1 for lack of originality

-1 for predictability

-1 bc i can and i do what i want

 

Hajime:

the fuck.

 

Tooru:

HAHAJSHAJSHHAHA

tough luck montague

 

Hajime:

oh like you're much of a better flirt than i am.

 

Tooru:

DUH

got u 2 come out of your shell didn’t i 😝

 

Hajime:

you were about to cry, i’m not a monster.

 

Tooru:

LIES

a yes is still a yes

between us i had No Choice but to work my romantic bone double 😤

to make up for SOMEONE's emotional constipation

 

Hajime:

oi, i was plenty smooth.

 

Tooru:

u never even got me flowers in those 2 yrs

 

Hajime:

?

what happened to “instrument of commercialism?”

“exploitation of people's need to validate their marketability?”

 

Tooru:

SJAJFJSKSKFJ

MAYBE I DO NOW >:[

understand the allure

just because they're of temporary aesthetic value doesn't mean the sentiment can't be timeless 🤷🏻

 

Hajime:

kinda like you then.

 

Tooru:

?

 

Hajime:

gray hair, missing teeth, and all, i’d still pick you to be obsessed about in a heartbeat.

Read 9:17 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

hahshahshajhshahaha cringe

21:18 31/07/21

satori @cestdoux 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

what are we cringing about 

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @cestdoux

that i fucking swooned 🙃

 

satori @cestdoux    17s

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

🤠



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 9:22 PM

 

Tooru:

3/10

THAT’S for aging me up

how dare u

skincare is expensive

 

Hajime:

whoops, my bad.

plus points for effort?

 

Tooru:

3.5/10

 

Hajime:

you sure it’s not just because you felt too much kilig (Filipino word for romantic excitement)?

 

Tooru:

too much ick u mean

ask me again in a million years and there won’t be another answer

which is NEVER btw

 

Hajime:

you wound me so.

starting the movie soon?

 

Tooru:

in a bit

 

Hajime:

aight. have fun :)

Read 9:25 PM

 

Today at 9:30 PM

 

Tooru:

u can

join if u want

🙄

tickets cost one-fifty

 

Hajime:

of what currency, kisses?

 

Tooru:

KSJFJWK

U WISH!!!!!

😡

imma add u in the serverrr 

same username?

 

Hajime:

yep.

 

Tooru:

ok ok

u sure u don’t have ANYTHING else u’d rather be doing ._.

 

Hajime:

and miss spending time with you?

ask me again in a million years and there won’t be another answer.

 

Tooru:

use my words against me a second time & they’ll be Ur Last :))))

Read 9:40 PM

 

Tooru:

the answer being…?

 

Hajime:

little devil, it was your verdict that deemed me predictable.

why play dumb now?

Read 9:42 PM

 

Today 9:47 PM

 

Tooru:

-2/10

 

Hajime:

one of these days, sweetheart.

just you wait.

Read 9:49 PM

 

✎✐

 

TWITTER

 

Kuroo @tetzkuro

PAGING @iwaizumihajime WE’RE GOING TO MISS THE GAME WHERE ARE YOU

21:50 31/07/21

🔒 @godziva 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro

pass.

 

Issei @mattsun 1m

Replying to @godziva

not again

 

Miwa @kagemiwa 1m

Replying to @mattsun

flaked on for hugh dancy, every gay’s self-fulfilling prophecy

 

Osamu @samurice 1m

Replying to @kagemiwa

this is the big boss we’re talking about. question is, did we ever really stand a chance? 

😂



✎✐



07:46

Sunday, Aug 1

 

Notification Center:

 

MESSAGES

Unknown

Good morning, Mr. Oikawa. There’s a delivery for you at the lobby of your building.



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

August 1, 8:01 AM

 

Tooru:

HEY

 

Hajime:

good morning to you too.

 

Tooru:

(PHOTO: 2 bouquets, one of orange tiger lilies and one of yellow tulips)

???

 

Hajime:

ah, you got them.

 

Tooru:

mind explaining what “them” are exaclty????

 

Hajime:

tulips?

 

Tooru:

NO SHIT SHERLOCK

WHAT FOR

 

Hajime:

they're for you.

 

Tooru:

THAT WASN’T WHAT I ASLED!!!!!

BASIC READINH COMPTEHENENENSION 

*reading comprehensoin 

COMPREHENSION

GODDSMMIT

 

Hajime:

😂

you good?

 

Tooru:

DONT U LAUGH AT ME

 

Hajime:

can't help it. you're cute when you’re all fuming.

 

Tooru:

THEN IM ABT 2 GET REAL FUCKING ADORABLE

 

Hajime:

HAHAHAHA

by all means

 

Tooru:

explain. Now.

 

Hajime:

you mentioned i never got you flowers in all the time we've been together.

 

Tooru:

so??? this is what DELAYED COMPENSATION????

 

Hajime:

what? no.

 

Tooru:

is this still about last night's sumbatan (Filipino word for keeping score)???

bcuz i'm Telling u the score u’re getting is 👎 NUMERICALLY 👎 IMPOSSIBLE 👎

 

Hajime:

they're just flowers, oikawa.

you're overthinking. you don’t want to get all wrinkly this young now, do you?

skincare is expensive.

 

Tooru:

AND I THOUGHT I WARNED U ABT USING MY WORDS AGAINST ME 😃🔪

tell me WHY

 

Hajime:

because i wanted to. no excuses, no reason else.

 

Tooru:

i Don’t Believe u

 

Hajime:

then, don’t. you like them, don't you?

Read 8:16 AM

 

Hajime:

there. win-win.

 

Tooru:

THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT

 

Hajime:

hey.

if it bothers you that much, you can do whatever you want with them.

but i'm not taking them back.

Read 8:22 AM

 

Today at 8:27 AM

 

Tooru:

ofc i’m not gonna throw them away

do u have any clue How Much a bouquet crafted This Exquisitely COSTS????

 

Hajime:

i mean, i did buy them.

Read 8:30 AM

 

Today 8:33 AM

 

Tooru:

WHTVR

thanks ig

they're lovely 😒

 

Hajime:

you're welcome.

i’ve got to go to work. i'll talk to you later, alright?

 

Tooru:

👍

Delivered.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

shitshitshit too close 2 Old Territory tooru tread AWAY

08:31 01/08/21



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

 

Tooru:

and

have a good day <33

 

Hajime:

on one condition.

 

Tooru:

??

 

Hajime:

smile for the rest of it, yeah? 

 

Tooru:

u

U CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

 

Hajime:

pretty, please?

Read 8:35 AM

 

Today at 8:38 AM

 

Tooru:

(PHOTO: a selfie of an exaggerated smile)

happy?

 

Hajime:

you have no idea.

Read 8:40 AM

 

✎✐

 

TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

bitch said Tread Away but dove RIGHT IN 🤡

08:41 01/08/21



Kiyoomi @sakusamd

@iwaizumihajime stop smiling to yourself you’re scaring the patients

08:43 01/08/21

Hajime ✔ @iwaizumihajime 48s

Replying to @sakusamd

all on you, sourpuss.



✎✐



INSTAGRAM

 

haibalisa ✔

51,783 likes

suit fitting with the gang, finally!! #reunited 💕 @keiji.akaashi @theoikawatooru @kodzuken @miyatsumu @sgwrkoushi @cestdoux

View all 29,604 comments

Aug 13



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

b0ssxzc bente un0

August 13, 10:29 PM

 

Kuroo:

LOOK ALIVE PEOPLE

HEAD COUNT

 

Issei:

for what?

 

Kuroo:

GETTING SHIT-FACED AT TONIGHT’S STAG PARTY

THAT’S WHAT

IT’S GONNA BE LIT NO CAP

WIG SNATCHED

SLAYYY 😎💅🔥💯

 

Osamu:

stop talking in gen z, you’re thirty fucking years old.

 

Wakatoshi:

isn't that an exclusive thing for groomsmen?

 

Hajime:

he’s paying.

 

Kuroo:

WHICH MAKES MY WORD LAW

AND ACCORDING TO THE LAW Y’ALL ARE INVITED 🤙

 

Osamu:

can't tonight. the resto’s hosting an event.

 

Hajime:

you can’t leave someone else in charge?

 

Osamu:

client’s a big regular. i’ll see if i can drop by.

no promises tho. 

 

Kuroo:

BOOOOO

even your twin’s coming with us

 

Hajime:

atsumu? thought they’d be at kozume’s?

 

Osamu:

olympic solidarity and shit.

just keep an eye on him.

 

Issei:

aw almost had us at the doting brother act

 

Osamu:

fifty bucks says he’s going to be making an ass out of himself out there later.

make sure to get in on camera.

 

Hajime:

i’m snitching on you to your mom, dickhead 😂

 

Issei:

i’m down

there gonna be strippers?

 

Hajime:

last lay that long, huh?

 

Issei:

not all of us are whipped saints for their first loves, romeo

 

Kuroo:

(MEME: blowing whistle)

save the brawl for the bar, gentlemen

@Kiyoomi you’re coming no buts

 

Kiyoomi:

i'm not staying past 11

 

Kuroo:

NEGOTIABLE I LIKE IT

@Wakatoshi that leaves you, man

 

Wakatoshi:

Bokuto and I are acquaintances at best.

My presence might be unwelcome.

 

Hajime:

bokuto’s chill, don’t worry.

 

Kuroo:

and it’s just going to be us

atsumu’s the only one from work. and y’all remember koushi’s husband, daichi?

tsukishima’s more or less indisposed, says to blame it on “kuya iwa’s peskily nosy shadow”

 

Hajime:

i plead the fifth.

 

Wakatoshi:

I'll check my schedule.

 

Kuroo:

WISE DECISIONS BEING MADE HERE TODAY

MUSIC TO MY EARS

9 pm at The Fort

NO ONE’S GOING HOME IF THEY CAN STILL WALK STRAIGHT

 

Hajime:

you're not crashing at my place.

 

Issei:

bold of you to assume i will be

 

Hajime:

keep it in your pants, asswipe.

 

Kuroo:

sofa’s comfy 👉👈

 

Hajime:

no.

the condo’s only big enough for one guest.

 

Osamu:

bokuto?

 

Hajime:

yeah.

 

Issei:

pack it up, kuroo

the brother-in-law has kicked you off the priority list

 

Kuroo:

HE WON’T BE ABLE TO RESIST ME

WON’T U, IWA? 🥰

 

Hajime:

sleep on the middle of the road, imbecile.

 

Kuroo:

😿

Seen by everyone.

 

✎✐

 

INSTAGRAM STORIES

 

theoikawatooru ✔ 1h at least LOOK surprised @keiji.akaashi 🙄

 

kodzuken ✔ 57m y’all r cleaning this shit up

 

cestdoux 45m @sgwrkoushi sociology professor during the day, bartending extraordinaire at night 🍹🍸

 

keiji.akaashi 30m 🦌🎉

 

tetzkuro 20m skfjs58UFSL#^*&

 

mattsun 10m 👅

 

iwaizumihajime ✔ 1m found the groom. lost everybody else.



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

August 13, 10:08 PM

 

Hajime:

on a scale of 1-10

how well does bokuto take his liquor?

 

Tooru:

ohno

do NOT let him Near The Tequila

HE WILL DARE HIMSELF TO DO SMTHN “FUN”

then land his ass in the Emergency Room

 

Hajime:

noted. anything else i need to watch out for?

 

Tooru:

vodka

even if he SAYS he can handle it

trust me u WILL be going home w/ his Dinner On Ur Shoes 🙃

 

Hajime:

thanks for the heads up.

rum and cola work?

 

Tooru:

yupp

not to worry, kou isn't a difficult drunk

on the contrary

he starts acting more sober than when he actually is 🤔 

 

Hajime:

that's

fucking scary.

 

Tooru:

IKR????

 

Hajime:

better than public exhibition or puke, i suppose.

hi, by the way :)

 

Tooru:

helLO

u’re not drinking?

 

Hajime:

could say the same thing about you. dsp?

 

Tooru:

haha yeahhh

 

Hajime:

you're still at it, aren't you?

Read 10:17 PM

 

Today at 10:20 PM

 

Hajime:

oikawa.

 

Tooru:

just sifting thru invitation responses

promise!! nothing too heavy

 

Hajime:

you really can't let yourself catch a break, huh?

 

Tooru:

WOW. rich coming from U

 

Hajime:

my job demands it.

you, on the other hand, are just an overachiever.

 

Tooru:

am NOT 😠

 

Hajime:

are too.

 

Tooru:

AM NOT!!!!!!

 

Hajime:

are too.

 

Tooru:

IWAIZUMI

 

Hajime:

oof, crabby baby.

 

Tooru:

sTOP CALLJNG ME TGST

 

Hajime:

don’t wanna.

 

Tooru:

u’re really Asking to be PUNCHED in the FACE huh

 

Hajime:

with your lips? please.

be my guest.

 

Tooru:

SKAJFJE$%*&

u’re crazy bye

 

Hajime:

hey, come back here. 😂

keep me companyyy

 

Tooru:

THEN KNOCK IT OFF

GRR

 

Hajime:

alright, alright haha

would it really hurt if you live a little for one night?

besides, kej will only feel guilty when he sees you working while they're having fun.

 

Tooru:

i

ugh Fine 

yk if i didn't know any better

i'd say u just LIKE my Full Attention 🙄

 

Hajime:

you don't, then.

 

Tooru:

don't what

 

Hajime:

know better.

if i told you i don’t like distractions when i have you all to myself, would you pity and cave for a selfish man’s prayers?

Read 10:28 PM

 

✎✐

 

TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

had a total of 1 drink yet i’m already: DIZZY from this convo alone

22:29 13/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

@/alcohol do your fucking job i HATE it here



koushi  @sgwrkoushi 

@theoikawatooru why r u YELLING fukcign cUCkoo baNANAS

22:31 13/08/21

satori @cestdoux 1m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi

he’s been glued 2 his fone since 4evrrrr @theoikawatooru wHO R U TEXTINGGG TELL EM 2 SQUARE UP >:((

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @cestdoux

NO ONE PLS GET OFF UR SOCIALS



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 10:33 PM

 

Tooru:

depends

got a crush on me iwaizumi? 🥺

 

Hajime:

unfortunately.

 

Tooru:

how embarrassing

alas

it would be too one-sided

so i’m gonna have to say no <//3

Delivered.

 

Tooru:

kidding

HEY

HELLO???

😠😠

at least make the desperation convincing

like idk pUTTING UP A FIGHT

Delivered.

 

Today at 10:55

 

Hajime:

sorry, sorry.

tetsuro almost got into a fight.

 

Tooru:

oh SHIT is he ok???

 

Hajime:

yeah. broke it up before he could shave ten years off my life.

apparently, he’s just challenging everyone to a dance off.

 

Tooru:

HAHAHAHSJAJSAHA

where are the others?

 

Hajime:

sawamura's with him

he’s tipsy but rational enough to keep the two of them out of any more trouble.

i think.

ushijima already went ahead. matsukawa's most probably getting it down in the restroom. and sakusa's

somewhere.

 

Tooru:

OOF 

lemme redress my earlier question r U ok?? 🤕

 

Hajime:

peachy.

i've dealt with worse.

aka you.

 

Tooru:

SKDJSJDF

OBJECTION!?!??!!

 

Hajime:

object all you want, you're not the one who babysat.

you're an argumentative drunk.

 

Tooru:

NOT TRUE

 

Hajime:

beg to differ. how many fights have you almost started because the people at the bar have questionable political stances?

 

Tooru:

.. that was ONE TIME

 

Hajime:

three.

 

Tooru:

oh pls U Know i could’ve destroyed them if i wanted to

 

Hajime:

or how about that time you made my blockmates cry because they called your martian conspiracies fabricated and childish?

 

Tooru:

eye—

ridicule Anything Else but THAT

i didn't even say anything mean 🙄

‘sides u have no ROOM to talk

mister “i seem to have lost my number can i get urs gorgeous”

 

Hajime:

shittykawa.

whiskey made me grow a pair and you're complaining?

 

Tooru:

U BAWLED UR EYES OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR 

WHEN U FOUND OUT I WAS ALREADY SEEING SOMEONE

 

Hajime:

can’t a pathetic man despair over his broken heart?

 

Tooru:

iwa

WE WERE ALREADY GOING OUT

Read 11:14



✎✐



TWITTER

 

🔒 @godziva 

touché.

23:15 13/08/21

🔒 @godziva 1m

Replying to @godziva

aah, iwaizumi. brat still has you wrapped around his finger.



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 11:17 PM

 

Hajime:

how are things on your end?

 

Tooru:

psh

way to Change The Subject

WELL

koushi & satori r def drunk

been trying to give us A Show since kenma vetoed the macho dancer

says he doesn't want any “immoral activities” in his good christian penthouse

 

Hajime:

HAHAHAHAHA

smart decision.

would not have been able to guarantee the poor fella’s departure in one piece.

 

Tooru:

hEY

 

Hajime:

?

 

Tooru:

u’re not entirely wrong 🤲

tetsuro book one?

 

Hajime:

he didn’t say.

Read 11:24 PM

 

Today at 11:25 PM

 

Hajime:

shit. would he?

 

Tooru:

what do u THINK

 

Hajime:

motherfucker.

 

Tooru:

HAHAHAAHAHAHEKW

it’s like u dk him lmao

 

Hajime:

should i cancel it? i have his phone.

 

Tooru:

🤨

 

Hajime:

i confiscated everyone's as a precaution.

 

Tooru:

oooh good thinking

wait so THAT’S why someone's been cranky all evening

 

Hajime:

tell koushi i'll get daichi to reply to him once he gets back.

 

Tooru:

stupid, i wasn't talking abt koushi

he cares shit abt his husband LMAO

anw just let it be!!

u're gonna waste the best man's efforts 😤

 

Hajime:

i’m not going to watch the man my brother’s marrying getting grinded on by

 

Tooru:

by .. ?

‘llooooo

iwaizumi

yuhoo

srsly AGAIN???

HEY

Delivered.

 

Today at 11:39 PM

 

Hajime:

uh, oikawa?

 

Tooru:

mf where'd u GO

 

Hajime:

stripper's here.

turns out he's a lot more

familiar than we originally thought.

(VIDEO ATTACHMENT)

 

Tooru:

.. is THAT

 

Hajime:

miya atsumu giving sakusa kiyoomi a lap dance?

yes.

 

Tooru:

OHmY GODF

Read 11:42 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

koushi @sgwrkoushi

SJDKFHDSKDLSJSK MIYA FUCKING ATSUMU THAT IS *NOT* THE GROOM HAHAHAJDJAJAJSAHAJSHAHA

23:45 13/08/21

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 2m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi

PLS the mortification sobered me up 😭



ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

due to mental health reasons, i will be banning users @miyatsumu @thebettermiya from all accts

23:46 13/08/21

satori @cestdoux 2m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi

HAHSJAHSJAHHAHAHSHAJA welp, now i’ve seen everything



🔒 @godziva

@samurice

23:47 13/08/21

Osamu @samurice 2m

Replying to @godziva

not my blood, not my problem. 👍



Kuroo @tetzkuro

SAKUSA LOOKS LIKE HE’S FIVE SECONDS AWAY FROM A MASSACRE

23:48 13/08/21

Issei @mattsun 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro

ready to be an only child @samurice?

 

🔒 @godziva 1m

Replying to @tetzkuro

if you’re both done tweeting and just about ready to help me any fucking time soon, 

it’d be real fucking appreciated.



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today at 12:49 AM

 

Tooru:

hi

u guys home?

 

Hajime:

sorry, was fixing the couch.

something wrong?

 

Tooru:

wellllll

funny story

koushi apparently makes Amazing Margaritas

 

Hajime:

oikawa. the truth.

 

Tooru:

remember when i said u get all mushy when drunk?

must

run in the family

 

Hajime:

uh oh, let me guess.

kej waxed poetic about bokuto’s ass. 😂

 

Tooru:

!!! don’t be so vulgar 😠

and it’s not JUST about his ass

ANW

he started Crying @ some point so 2 pacify him i told him that kou’s already getting married

 

Hajime:

still not seeing the problem.

 

Tooru:

ugh

THE PROBLEM

is

i might’ve

neglected to

specify who he was engaged to?

 

Hajime:

you

you guys are on your way here, aren’t you?

 

Tooru:

I TRIED MY BEST TO STOP THEM

r u mad

i’m sorry :(

 

Hajime:

shit, no.

i’m not mad, ru.

please say you took a cab though. i don't trust any of you behind a wheel right now.

send me the plate number.

 

Tooru:

actually

can u

open the door?

Read 12:56 AM



✎✐



August 13, 2021

12:58 AM

 

Iwaizumi Hajime has witnessed a lot of things: the viscera of a cadaver's slit open belly lying on the operating table as he explains the cause of death for a revalida; his uncle's infamous magic card trick at every family reunion that up until now, no one can decipher how it's done; and just half a decade ago, his father's signature calculating gaze on a stranger.

Ergo, nothing can really rattle him that much anymore. (Not to honorably mention, Tooru's enthusiasm for gory horror movies and alien documentaries was fantastic practice for his iron stomach.) But this? Never in his most fevered imagination did he ever see this one coming. Because that same calculating gaze is now glazed over, full of spunk, and utterly wasted.

“Oh for you, I would've done whatever, and I just can't believe we ain't together.”

Maybe he's black out drunk, too, and this is some weird hallucination; because the scene unfolding before him is just too ludicrous for Hajime to make sense of.

“And I wanna play it cool, but I'm losing you. I'll buy you anything and I'll buy you any ring.”

Nope, it's real.

His usually prim and fastidious brother is really outside the door and serenading his fiancé to Justin fucking Bieber while their planner stands behind, face buried in his palms due to secondhand shame. Jesus Christ, Hajime can feel himself age twenty years.

“And I'm in pieces. Baby, fix me. Can you shake me ‘til you wake me from this bad dream?” Keiji moves his hands in uncoordinated choreography, like a marionette whose strings has been cut. “I'm going down, down, down, down...” Interpreting the lyrics, he sinks lower and Tooru has to grab him by the arms to keep him upright.

“And I just can't believe my first love won't be around!” Keiji heaves a breath and belts, “And I’m like baby, baby, baby oh!”

Hajime winces at the volume, briefly worried that his neighbors might come see what the racket is all about and an eviction notice would be waiting on his door come next morning. Then, he remembers the quality soundproofing of the units and relaxes. Nevertheless, he needs to pack this up before the media shows up. Wouldn't that be fun to explain to their company's PR team?

“Like baby, baby, baby, no! Like baby, baby, baby, oh!” Keiji points at Koutaro who has been standing at the doorway, hands clamped over his mouth and staring at his significant other, blatantly besotted. “Thought you'd always be mine, mine!”

Hajime looks up at the ceiling and curses a silent, “why?” before pinching the bridge of his nose.

Someone whistles from inside and Hajime shoots Kuroo an unimpressed glare. “Yeah! Go get your man, Akaashi!”

The other man is barely standing on his own two feet, weight supported by a smaller figure acting like a front crutch—who Hajime didn't even notice slipping past him earlier. Ah, he thinks, so that's who's been cranky. The engineer's chin is perched atop black roots extending to dyed blonde locks and feline eyes are focused on the screen of a phone, held landscape in a recording manner. 

Someone is gonna have a field day in the morning.

“Bokuto Koutaro,” Keiji announces. He and Tooru lurch forward and Hajime makes a move to catch them but it seems to be exactly what Keiji aimed for as he ends up kneeling on the floor, his naked fingers presenting an engagement ring. “Elope with me.”

Hajime stares at the CCTV in the hall like he's in The Office. The security personnel must think he needs a drink. Hajime needs five



✎✐



TWITTER

 

🔒 @godziva 

this is going to be a long night.

01:08 14/08/21



✎✐



August 13, 2021

1:19 AM

 

“Keiji, just one sip please?” Koutaro pleads, holding a glass to his fiancé's lips.

By some miracle, the only two clearheaded members of the party had managed to maneuver four trashed grown adults into the main bedroom. While Tooru arranges the pillows to make room for his charges, water spills on the sheets as Keiji resumes to swat the drink away.

“I don't—I don't need to drink. We got to—Judge!”  Keiji attempts to climb out of the bed but all of them are quick to pull him back down. For someone who's only a fifth of their manpower, he's a lot stronger than those baggy clothes portray him to be and it's embarrassing that it takes their whole cavalry to contain the situation. “Go to a judge! I’ve got to lock you down as soon as—at the earliest time possible!”

“Yes, mahal. Yes, I understand,” Koutaro coos, caressing his hair. “But you’ve got to hydrate first. So you can go to sleep.”

A fun fact, Hajime caches, is that the couple exchanges personalities when stripped off of their sobriety which adds another endearing layer to their already enviable relationship.

The offer doesn't seem to appease Keiji at all. Instead, he wrestles out of the feeble restraints with renewed vigor at the prospect of delay in his plans. “No! We—We can't wait 'til—'til tomorrow! Your other fiancé will get here and whisk you away and I can't—You can't—”

“Mahal. Mahal—” Koutaro cups Keiji's face. “Keiji.” The firmness in his tone puts a pause to the other's actions, reminding Tooru and Kuroo of why their best friend remains undefeated in the ring. Koutaro directs their gazes toward each other and stresses his words. “There’s absolutely no one else I’d ever want to ‘lock me down’ but you, okay?”

The obstinacy seeps away from Keiji, and he slumps in the hands that moor him in place. “You promise?”

“On the death of every star you can name.”

Tooru could gag as Koutaro affirms, kissing his betrothed on the forehead and bundling him in a hug. “And all of Kenma’s players in his games.”

Kenma (who remains undefeated in all his own virtual tournaments) stops smashing the keys of his PSP to give him a dirty look and Kuroo howls, draping an arm around his neck.

“Kenma never loses.” Keiji muses, eyes scanning the room and landing on the blonde. He excitedly gasps and chucks his beloved aside. “Kenma, you're here!”

Hajime laughs behind his fist when Koutaro rams into the headboard, squawking.

Kenma burrows into the collar of his hoodie, self-conscious under the sudden attention, and awkwardly shuffles to sit next to Keiji on the edge of the bed. Not a millisecond later, Keiji is already wrapping all his extremities around him. “I missed you.”

Kenma blushes at the admission but Keiji plows on. “I know pretending to hate affection is kind of like our thing? But I hope you know how much I adore being one of the first people you tell your shit about.” The hair nuzzling that follows only seems natural, like a mother cat would to its kitten. “Even though we no longer live as near to each other as before, remember that I will forever support you with my hundred percent in everything you do and I'm so so proud to be able to call you my best friend, you little jerk.”

Oh my god, Tooru realizes, so it does run in the Iwaizumi DNA.

Their audience shares a chuckle at the shade of red the standoffish Kenma Kozume's face has bloomed into. He fists the back of Keiji's pajama shirt and hides in his best friend's sternum, mumbling an incoherent acknowledgement.

The two of them remain as is for a minute and just as Hajime's wondering if they fell asleep, Keiji murmurs loud enough for the rest of them to hear. “Kuya Tetsuro is a menace, you should dump him.”

The person convicted sputters, “Kuya Tetsuro very much disagrees with that statement.”

Forgetting himself, Keiji squints up at the older man and grins. “Hi.” 

Like the teddy bear that he is, Kuroo relents and allows the younger to reach for his hand and even approaches to meet it midway. 

“I just want to say thank you, for all the times you've taken good care of Koutaro and Kenma…and by extension, me. I know I was difficult to be around with, yet you treated me like a friend outside of the people we mutually know. You have a knack for making everyone feel like they belong and that's among the things I've always admired about you.” 

Keiji squeezes the bigger hand twice and swings it a little. “I'm glad you and Kenma have each other and that you’re still going to be standing beside Koutaro on the most important day of our lives.” He scrunches his eyes shut as if to add earnestness in the sentence he's about to say. “You really are the best best man anyone can ask for.”

That's the most and probably the sappiest Kuroo has ever heard from him that his smirk softens. He lets go of Keiji’s hand to pat him on the head. “It’s what you do for family.”

But before he could withdraw his hand, Keiji captures his wrist and yanks him to the level of a baleful stare. “Hurt a single strand on Kenma's head, though, and I will be coming for you.”

Kuroo gulps. “Yes, sir.”

“Alright, alright.” Hajime steps in. “Bed time.”

Tooru glimpses at the clock and suddenly feels the weariness from all the day's events in his bones. At this point, Kenma is already being lulled by the commotion, still snuggled up in another's body heat. Koutaro is also snoring in the background now, arm loosely around his husband-to-be from behind. 

Sensing his glasses being removed when he starts rubbing his eyes, Keiji yawns. “Kuya?”

Hajime’s smile comes into his blurry view. “Hey, kiddo.”

Keiji bafflingly stares up at him for a long moment while Tooru eases Kenma out of his embrace and onto the pillows. With the removed weight, he launches himself at the Hajime, catching him off-guard.

The drone of the air conditioning system leaks into the silence of the room. Tooru’s hands have paused from pulling the covers up over his friends whereas Hajime’s arms hover above his little brother’s back.

“Growing up, I always felt like there's a pru of me missing and I thought it was the space that my father never filled.” The ones looped around his torso tighten. “But I was wrong. That pru was you, Kuya. You completed my family.”

Keiji pulls back to wipe at his eyes harder but Tooru thinks this time, it's not the drowsiness he's trying to rid. “I know you feel the need to make up for my entire life but the truth is, I’m the one ashamed for our coming in between your family and ruining—”

“Hey.” Hajime crouches in front of his brother. “That's not true. You completed my family too, Kej.”

Fat tears begin rolling down Keiji's cheeks and it breaks the two elder men's hearts. “You're every bit the brother I never even imagined I could dream of having and more,” he hiccups. “Even if—Even when—Will you still—”

Hajime swathes him in a hug, hand rubbing up-and-down his younger brother's back and eyes glassy. “Always, kiddo. Always.”

Not wanting to disturb the moment, Tooru discreetly wipes his own tears. These Blancos and their maudlin soap operas. Unfortunately, his sniffles perk Keiji's ears and he exclaims, lobbing his sibling aside. “Kuya Tooru!”

Hajime gapes at the not-so gentle deposition. Kuroo shrugs a sympathetic “Welcome to the club,” from his spot on the tile.

“Feeling a little sentimental tonight, aren’t we?” The bed dips under Tooru and Keiji hums, letting out another yawn. “Sleepy time?”

“Wait, I—I was gonna—What was it again?”

A hand ruffles his hair. “You can tell me in the morning, drunkard.” 

“No, it’s important.” Keiji places a finger beneath his chin for a second then snaps in recollection. He turns to Tooru, serious expression looking comical in his inebriated state. “Thank you, Kuya, for everything.”

Tooru shakes his head. “It’s nothing—”

“Shh!” Keiji gestures for him to shush and Tooru laughs but complies. “Not just—not just for the wedding. For college. When I first entered uni, I had a terrible time with people. They were—” He makes an ick face. “Then you, Kuya—you took me under your wing. Because of you, I met all the best people in my life right now. Heck, I'm getting married to one of ‘em!”

Spreading his arms similar to a baby bird with its wings, Keiji almost plunges back if it weren't for Hajime scooting forward and placing a steadying hand on his posterior trunk. Tooru gratefully smiles at the older Iwaizumi before replying to Keiji. “As sweet as it is that you're giving me so much credit, that's all on you—”

Shh!” Keiji angrily places a finger to his own lips and Tooru presses his together, in order to avoid laughing. This kid

The amusement melts, however, when Keiji's eyes twinkle with a mysterious secret. “It was you who set that meeting up with Kuya Hajime back then, didn’t you?”

Tooru's blood runs cold and his skin tingles from the sudden intensity of two pairs of eyes on him. He drops his stare onto his lapful of hands until Keiji’s crawl to link them together.

“The fiercest heart among us has always been yours, Kuya; so thank you, for looking out for us just because you can. Our lives are a whole lot better with you in ‘em.” Keiji glances at something to the side but it was too swift for Tooru to follow. “I hope you find the same love that will eclipse the one you give; but I guess if that’s the bar we’re setting, it might be next to impossible.”

The comment kills the heavy atmosphere and they both snigger. “Whoever wins this—” Keiji points at the other’s chest, “—and this—” then taps the pad of his index on the ring finger. “—is going to be the luckiest man alive.”

Tooru's heart warms. “Thanks Kej—”

“So, Kuya,” Keiji reclasps Tooru's hands, their skins slapping raucously and rousing the peanut gallery. “Will you do me the honor of being part of our family and marry my Kuya Hajime?”

Hajime chokes on air and Tooru's brain reloads.

“C—Come again?”



✎✐



Kuroo @tetzkuro

@iwaizumihajime.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

01:48 13/07/21

k 🔒 @applepi 4m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

someone had to do it

 

Keiji @keiji.akaashi 3m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

if u love it then put a gODDMAN RNIG ON IT

 

Keiji @keiji.akaashi 2m

Replying to @keiji.akaashi 

*rign

 

Keiji @keiji.akaashi 2m

Replying to @keiji.akaashi 

*ring

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @keiji.akaashi 

beyonce honey gO TO SLEEP



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

August 13, 2:25 AM

 

Hajime:

hey.

where’d you go?

 

Tooru:

veranda

 

Hajime:

it's cold out.

i'll bring you a sweater.

 

Tooru:

thanks

 

Hajime:

unless you prefer to be alone?

 

Tooru:

it's fine 

just

watching the stars

 

Hajime:

room for one more?

Read 2:37 AM

 

Today at 2:42 AM

 

Hajime:

ah.

look, about what kej said earlier

 

Tooru:

which one 😹

he said quite a lot

 

Hajime:

i think we both know.

 

Tooru:

oh thaaaat 😹

we can just forget about it

they were a drunk man’s words

 

Hajime:

what if i don't want to forget about it?

what if i can't keep pretending that i'm okay, walking on eggshells around it anymore?

 

Tooru:

u

wanted to wait

 

Hajime:

and i thought i could.

longer i'm around you though?

more it becomes a test of self-restraint.

 

Tooru:

i'm

sorry?

 

Hajime:

don’t be. i'm not.

so, can we talk?

no more running. no bullshit.

just you and me.

Read 2:58 AM

 

Today at 3:03 AM

 

Tooru:

okay

just you and me

Read 3:04 AM



✎✐



August 13, 2021

3:14 AM

 

Stars are different in the city.

In place of diamond fragments coruscating across a pitch black carpet rolled out above his head, are dots zooming through emptying avenues and glowing patches on skyscraper walls. It reminds Tooru of the glow-in-the-dark stickers he used to glue to the ceiling of his bedroom as a child. There were no cricket recitals, just intermittent honks of vehicles chasing after the dwindling hours of darkness, carried by the humid breeze of the early morning.

Nevertheless, it's a far cry from the last moment they spent together six years ago.

“It's quiet,” Hajime's voice punctures through his bubble of thought. Though spoken benignly, it takes every bit of control in Tooru not to outwardly flinch, as if hypersensitizing him to the scratchy texture of a wool blanket or a radio crackling to life.

Not trusting himself not to run once he validates with his own eyes that Hajime is indeed, tangibly, right there and not a figment of his imagination he's conversing with as practice, Tooru plays it safe by observing the miniature cars and ant-like figures below. Acknowledging it makes it more real and Tooru is not yet ready for it to be

“You liked it that way.”

“I did.” A beat. “It was like this back then, too. The first night after you—” 

Tooru's grasp tightens around the railing at the word going unspoken. Mother Mary. Apparently, Hajime doesn't feel like beating around the bush like he hoped.

Hajime exhales, slightly forcibly. “As if you sucked all the noise and chaos out of my life.” 

The remark stings and Tooru bubbles with the urge to bitterly spit a sarcastic apology, not noticing the yearning and lack of relief in his ex-boyfriend's tone, but gets beaten to it.

“Never thought I could hate the quiet,” Hajime pauses and not for the first time that night, Tooru feels the weight of a gaze on him. “Until I realized I took for granted the one thing that ever really brought me peace.”

The wind blows, rustling the leaves of the well-maintained houseplants sparsely decorating the balcony and the chimes hanging above the doorframe of the next unit.

Crossing his arms on the metal rod, Tooru elects to bite the bullet. So much for mental prep. “That night, why’d you stay?”

From his periphery, he spies the gaze dropping on the deck. “Guess I needed the company.”

What was I for, an ornament? “Mine wasn't cutting it for you anymore?”

The response was instant, shutting down the argument before it ensued. “Because I can't even remember the last time I had it.”

The wind fades and tranquility restores. Hajime flickers a look at Tooru's back, but the latter doesn't reply. Thus, he takes it as a cue to continue.

“I was in a bad place.” Closing his eyes, Hajime cants his head back until it hits the wall behind with a muted thump. “Med school was a fucking nightmare, suspicion that my father’s hiding an illegitimate child started surfacing, and you…you were just drifting farther and farther out of my reach.”

A knife twists into Tooru's heart.

He could almost swear his fingers are cratering the balustrade and his throat constricts at the chain of revelations. This is the first time he’s finally hearing about all the dirty laundry that no clairvoyance nor reactions he cataloged beforehand could have prepared him for. He combs through all the months leading up to their breakup and—

When was the last time I even asked him about his day?

Hajime talks over Tooru's turmoil. “You got so caught up with balancing your theater job and modeling and supporting your family that trying to find a place in your calendar and your life felt unfair to you. I thought—” His Adam's apple bobs and hands clench. “I had to accept the possibility that there wasn’t anymore.”

For someone who's always been a character of unpretentious confidence and intimidating intellect, spilling years worth of bottled up self-reproach comes across as an admission of vulnerability.

“It wasn't your fault,” comes the assurance. “We both had other priorities and I never wanted to get in the way, but—” The next words curl in the manner of being spoken with a wistful smile.

“God, was it fucking hard to breathe without you.”

Congruently, Tooru's breath hitches at the declaration. He bites his lower lip numb 'til a coppery tang sours his mouth and he grows lightheaded from the barrage of emotions. 

“I just wanted respite. From everything. Then,” Peeling his eyes open, Hajime lets them rest on the first spot it fixes on, “The dinner happened.”

Dinner is how he pertains to it, cautiously trying to avoid misleading connotations. “He was removed from the situation, someone whom I can finally—really just talk to without the taboo of not muzzling the gravity or even the existing fact of that was all the shit I was dealing with.” 

Hajime was late in all accounts that night; to Tooru's runway show and to the social media wildfire of dating speculations, based on a single inculpating paparazzi photo of the Iwaizumiheir escorting the eligible son of one of his father’s associates into a car. Whereas high school would've penalized him with two hours of detention, society cost him everything. Training his sight on the man leaning against the terrace, he pushes himself off the wall. But it's not costing him this chance.

“Still, there’s no excuse for what I did and you had every right to be mad.” The guilt-imbued voice sounds nearer to Tooru now. “No matter how miserable it got or how pure-intentioned my actions were, I shouldn’t have done anything to injure your trust and make you second guess the fact that you’ve never meant anything less than the entire world to me. I wanted a friend but I needed you. You were my best friend, Art—as much as you were something more.”

The heat from behind Tooru's eyes begins bleeding out in a torrent of longing and grief.

A multitude of “if only”s and missed chances flurries through his mind. It occurs to Tooru that he's been so consumed by his own heartbreak from Hajime's lack of bother and attempts to literally go the extra mile and mend them, that he never stopped to consider how he was the one who packed his bags and flew seven thousand miles across the globe without so much as a note within the same week.

(“If there’s no place in the future for us after all then what the hell are we still doing here?!” 

“If that's how little your faith is in me then I don't see the point in staying anymore either.”)

“Art,” rasps Hajime. “I'm…I’m sorry—” He doesn't get to finish when Tooru wheels around, tears streaming like meteors down his cheeks.

“I lied.”

Hajime goes rigid, fingers twitching inside the pockets of his coat and body vibrating with the compulsion to hold him. His brows furrow in confusion and alarm.

“When you claimed that you weren't cheating on me, that the date was a set up and I didn’t believe you—I did,” Tooru confesses as rapidly as a nervous marksman’s gunfire. “It wasn't a misunderstanding, I lied.”

Hajime's lips pru in comprehension. He searches Tooru's whole face for any signs of a bluff but muddled with the sincerity in it is contrition. “You…”

Sleepless nights of whiskey burning on his tongue because of cold sheets and phantom smiles plaguing his dreams crash down on him. Countless faces had passed him by, not just due to the indelible image of doe eyes but primarily caused by his own (stupidly) unbreakable resolve not to look at anyone else because frankly, he's not sure he could. He spent the last half a dozen years hating himself for sabotaging the best thing that has ever happened to him.

All this time? Hajime wants to ask. He marches forward, brimming with betrayal. All this fucking time? “Why?”

Tooru scrubs his face with the sleeve of the borrowed sweater, inhaling through a clogging nose for courage to light the candle that had long been snuffed out to obscure the naked nature of his motives under duplicitous darkness. “Remember when you got on the Dean’s list for your second term in med school?”

Hajime nods, anger not the very least palliating but eager for answers, which Tooru grants him without further ceremony. “After we ate at this cheap turo-turo I took you to celebrate, we ran into your aunt.” The memory resurfaces, unrolling the secret that has coiled itself around his heart like a viper. Every heave digs its bristles into the muscle until blood is drawn and induces a dull ache which he has carried ever since. 

“When you were in the men's room, she asked what I did for a living and I told her I was in theater. Then, she—” His voice almost dies but the words sear in his ears like they've only been acquainted yesterday. “She asked for ‘til when because that couldn't possibly last me for much long in a world like theirs.”

Hajime's features contort into a blend of shock and horror. The distant look his offer of a ride home was rejected with, embellished with a half-baked excuse for an errand, flashes into mind and the rest of the blanks fill. Because here's a little trivia: Tooru Carlisle is a master of self-destruction. He throws himself into work to exhaust his brain enough not to think. He distracts, he deflects, he represses and Hajime was a complete idiot for buying the act.

“And it stuck. Suddenly, all I could think of was how she made perfect sense. Over and over again. Like a broken record.” Tooru remembers stepping into the auditorium and it appearing much smaller, inferior, than what he'd used to marvel at. “Yes, we never treated each other short of equals. It's what I've always loved about us, but it made me lose sight of how disparate we truly are.”

Or I chose to convince myself that I belonged by your side until reality came knocking with a deadline. “I was a nobody clinging to a childhood dream who can't even get somewhere with it. And when your parents found you a person of their approval, who was all the things that I wasn't—I saw an out.”

Sometimes, he wonders if it would've hurt less if it was a woman, if it would've been easier to blame conservatism than to realize that he didn't stand a chance not for who he was but for what he couldn't be.

“It was your chance to be with someone who stands with you on even ground, who you won't even have to hide! Someone good en—”

“Enough,” Hajime growls, sounding more of an order than a conclusion to Tooru's sentence. Tooru blinks at the emerald rings that singe his skin with its resentment. “You've already lied to my face enough.”

The knife twists again and drives a little deeper.

A fresh batch of tears gathers at the corners of his eyes and Tooru swallows, bowing his head with a whimper because that's all he can do. It’s hateful, what he’s done, and it wouldn’t come as a shock if that hate is directed somewhere condign of it—someone deserving. This would be his punishment: to be asked to leave instead of exercising his own autonomy to—

“Did you honestly insult me by assuming I am capable of doing that to the person I can never bring myself to lose?”

Tooru comes to an abrupt halt.

Slowly, he drags his gaze back up, consternation connecting with fury, albeit still present, but has mellowed out into something more implicitly forbearing and a strange, unshakeable determination.

“My family gave me a good and comfortable life.” He inches nearer. “I value their guidance and I love them,” Tooru's eyes widen as the distance continues to close. “But who I choose to be with is not their decision to make.” His pulse beats in his ears thunderously as he watches Hajime's hand oh so carefully grasp his. “And neither is it yours.”

Tooru stares at the man in front of him, who's immersed in brushing ivory knuckles with a calloused thumb before guiding his palm to lay flat on a sturdy chest. Underneath his fingertips, Tooru could feel the berserk pounding of Hajime's heart.

“This was mine, alone,” Hajime confides. “Until there was this person who came along and never calmed it down ever since.”

A gasp escapes Tooru’s lips when Hajime ducks his head to peer at him, making the mistake of locking their eyes together because as soon as it happened, a crooked smile all but decimates his faith. There you are, it seems to say.

“But we don't—” fit. “I'm not—” who you need. “You could do so much better. If you allow yourself to, you could even find someone who's more and perfect—” 

“I don't need perfect.” Hajime crowds him against the fence, bracing a hand on the railing behind them and lifting the other to tuck a piece of Tooru's hair behind his ear, knocking the breath out of the latter from the proximity. “Not if they're not you.”

The words and the natural cadence they were drawled with kiss the ambivalence away like it's that…simple. And maybe it is. Maybe they've just been in their heads too much that they lost touch of themselves and each other. 

“There is no ‘my world’ or yours. Only ours, and other people have no place in it.” Hajime strokes the skin of Tooru's wrist, as though hearing what was going through his head, and leans their foreheads together. “I promised, didn’t I? Just you and me.”

It's a partial truth. Of course there'd always be other people, people with opinions and people whose opinions they care about; but when all is said and done, they’re the hand penning whatever happily ever after they so desire.

In perfect synchrony, Tooru falls into Hajime. Arms catch him without hesitation and they topple backwards in a heap on the cold floor. He fists the front of the shorter man's flannel and sobs into his shoulder. “I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I should've—I should've been there for you. I shouldn't have given up on us. I'm sorry.”

“Hey, hey.” Hajime rocks them back-and-forth, tangling his fingers in chestnut locks. “I'm sorry, too, baby. Every day I didn’t fight for you was the biggest mistake I made.”

“No, you weren't ready and I should've respected that—”

“And I shouldn't have gone behind your back and walked out on us.”

Tooru pulls away, knees bracketing sturdy things. He cradles Hajime's face with quivering hands, giggling, and swipes at the moisture dotting the curve under green eyes. They study each other in silence. Tooru memorizes the sharper contours of the other's nose and jaw and Hajime maps the more defined freckles dusted on pale skin.

Tooru doesn't apologize for leaving as does Hajime for letting him go. Neither utters a single word of regret because they both knew that the separation was bound to happen to some extent. The persons they saw in the mirror then had ambitions to sate and a great deal of growing up to do after all. Every ugly truth laid denuded in the crevices of the splintered glass, begging for concession and healing—begging to be loved until and as much as the people that they’ve wholly become again.

But in retrospect, a tiny pru of them has always known, too, that they will circle their way back to each other.

Hajime kisses one of Tooru's palms and wipes a rosy cheek, chuckling. “Still a crybaby after all these years.”

Tooru glares and hits him on the chest. “Still such a bully for your age.”

More laughter echoes into the night as arms snake around his waist again and tug him closer into another assuaging hug. “You're my crybaby, though.”

“I'm wha—You! You’ve been a bully to me since day one—Let go, you!”

In a few hours, Keiji would walk into a chilly living room and notice the curtains, waltzing in the morning air from the sliding door being left ajar. When he sticks his head out, the view that greets him wakes him up more than any cup of coffee can.

Sitting side-by-side on the balcony bench, are two of his favorite people, passed out with their heads bent together and the rising sun bathing their interlaced hands in light.

Chapter Text

TWITTER

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 

recollection’s a bit scrambled but pretty sure last night was WILD 🤘

13:26 14/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @thebettermiya

wanna be the judge of that?

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

???



tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 

MOTHERFUCKER 

13:31 14/08/21

Koushi @sgwrkoushi 1m

Replying to @thebettermiya

we already mailed your audition video to club adonis (gay bar in Manila). you’re welcome 😘



satori @cestdoux 

miya atsumu scandal era wbk

13:35 14/08/21

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 3m

Replying to @cestdoux

WHO WAS THAT

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 2m

Replying to @thebettermiya

HELLO????? NAME-DROP WHEN?????

 

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 1m

Replying to @thebettermiya

…so u can apologize for traumatizing the poor man?

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 7s

Replying to @lalalalisa

SO I CAN GIVE HIM A CALLING CARD WOMAN KEEP UP



Osamu @samurice 

@sakusamd run

13:48 14/08/21

Kiyoomi @sakusamd 1m

Replying to @samurice

?



tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 

MINE SOLD AUCTION CLOSED

Quoted Tweet:

Kiyoomi @sakusamd 4m

?

13:52 14/08/21

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 9s

Replying to @thebettermiya

Y’ALL R GONNA FIND ME SUPLEXING MY BROTHER ONTO THE FACE OF THE EARTH HE NEVER TOLD ME HE HAD FRIENDS LIKE  T H A T

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 9s

Replying to @thebettermiya

WHEN HE’S LIKE… that 🧍

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 9s

Replying to @thebettermiya

hot AND charitable to animals what a fucking bag

 

Osamu @samurice 23s

Replying to @thebettermiya

hope you’re aware your insults work like a double-edged sword.



✎✐

 


Atsumu Miya (26)

aka the STRIPPER MISCHIEF-IN-THE-FLESH GROOMSMAN


  • MSBY Black Jackals #13
  • the “aggressively extroverted” twin
  • met Oikawa Tooru during the model’s 2018-2019 Brazilian contract
  • high-key the life of the party (whom you regret inviting halfway thru)


Kiyoomi Sakusa (27)

aka the GUEST WALLFLOWER



  • resident physician at Pascua Grace Medical Center
  • a minor, misunderstood misanthrope
  • got recruited by Kuroo Tetsuro in response to the “obvious friend-shaped cry for help”
  • caution: do not touch without disinfecting




✎✐



MESSAGES

 

dinorado

August 14, 3:16 PM

 

Osamu:

all of it was just you two being idiots.

 

Hajime:

something like that.

 

Osamu:

jesus. you deserve each other.

 

Hajime:

thanks.

 

Osamu:

not a compliment.

so now what?

 

Hajime:

?

 

Osamu:

now that you've kissed and made up and all that shit.

 

Hajime:

we hadn't

kissed.

Read 3:20 PM

 

Today at 3:25 PM

 

Osamu:

you haven't actually thought you'd get this far ahead, have you?

 

Hajime:

nope.



✎✐



og jowa 🪐

August 14, 3:16 PM

 

Satori:

lemme get this straight

not that any of 🌈 this 🌈 is lmao

after settling that this whole mess was a product of ur undying DEVOTION for eo

y’all r STILL NOT back 2gether!?!?!?!

 

Tooru:

we're OKAY

we talked & all's forgiven na

wasn’t that The Goal?

 

Satori:

nah that was a ✨ Stepping Stone ✨

the goal was to put an end to your lethally sadistic AND masochistic folly

 

Tooru:

I’M PERFECTLY RIGHT IN THE HEAD 😠

he just

doesn't feel That Way anymore

 

Satori:

said he?????

 

Tooru:

says Me.



✎✐



dinorado

Today 3:24 PM

 

Osamu:

but you are still stupid over him?

 

Hajime:

are YOU stupid?

 

Osamu:

i’d cut back on the sarcasm when my love life is banking on someone who gives zero fucks if it screws itself over if i were you.

better make a move soon, though. none of us wants a repeat of your bruce wayne arc.

 

Hajime:

i will. just

giving him time to sit with everything.

don't want to overwhelm or pressure him.

 

Osamu:

good call.

about time you got your head out of your ass.

 

Hajime:

aw, you crying for me?

 

Osamu:

sooner he takes you back, sooner you stop being my problem.

 

Hajime:

love you too, man.



✎✐



og jowa 🪐

Today 3:24 PM

 

Satori:

WDYM SAYS U

dingus they’re HIS feelings

 

Tooru:

how should I know 🙄

i'm Not Him

 

Satori:

that’s what asking is for!!!!!

 

Tooru:

and effectively humiliate myself??? no thanks

 

Satori:

boo this isn’t high school anymore 🙄

alright, who reached out a gazillion times bc they were hell-bent on fixing this ❓❓❓

that HAS to mean smthn

heck the man literally stated that there's NO ONE else for him but U

 

Tooru:

what makes u think I still have feelings for Him 🤨

 

Satori:

am i wrong 🤨

Read 3:39 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

this 🤏 close to Blocking tendou satori

15:36 14/08/21

satori @cestdoux 17s

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

(MEME: “Why are you booing me? I’m right.”)



✎✐



dinorado

Today 3:41 PM

 

Osamu:

try to keep him around this time, will you?

he's a good one.

 

Hajime:

think i need you to order me to do that?

 

Osamu:

fuck you, then. see if i listen to any more of your sappy shit next time.

 

Hajime:

thanks, tho.

really appreciate it.

 

Osamu:

yeah yeah.

don’t go bawling on me now.

 

Hajime:

i don't think anything can get me off my high.

ah, the things he does to me.

 

Osamu:

are the things i don’t think i can stomach hearing about.

you are down BAD bad.

 

Hajime:

i’m not complaining. ;)

 

Osamu:

i am.



✎✐



og jowa 🪐

Today 3:41 PM

 

Tooru:

still

i just

don't wanna rush into anything yet

we've only recently started to get on the same page

it's been so long and

we're both different people now

i don’t wanna

mess that up

can't u just be happy for me?

 

Satori:

shoot boo i'm sorry :(

I AM HAPPY FOR U (REAL)

and i understand that it can be scary

just don't sweep this under the rug again, ok? for both your sakes

i’m always here for #support

 

Tooru:

thank u 🥺



✎✐



15:49

Saturday, 14 Aug

 

Notification Center:

 

MESSAGES now

og jowa 🪐

but tooru

 

MESSAGES now

og jowa 🪐

when r u planning 2 mention new york?



✎✐



15:49

Saturday, 14 Aug

 

Notification Center:

 

MESSAGES now

dinorado

by the way

 

MESSAGES now

dinorado

about paris. have you come clean yet?



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Quotable ✔ @quotable

Murphy’s Seventh Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

16:00 14/08/21

396 Retweets 25 Quote Tweets 1.9K Likes

Quotable ✔ @quotable 30m

Replying to @quotable

Murphy’s Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously 

overlooked something.




✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

August 19, 7:18 PM

 

Hajime:

worst thing you ever got paid for.

 

Tooru:

runway, billboard, or tvc?

 

Hajime:

you did tv commercials?

 

Tooru:

Did I?????

2016

80s-ripoff toothpaste summer commercial

remember those rainbow candy rocks the american kids were all bonkers about during that era?

 

Hajime:

you mean jawbreakers?

 

Tooru:

now imagine those spots on a leotard

 

Hajime:

gasp

no.

 

Tooru:

amen

a monstrosity invented by a fashion intern who’s colorblind enough to pair it with barbie pink spandex leggings

& an AUREOLIN denim jacket of all things

 

Hajime:

that is

something.

 

Tooru:

something TRAUMATIZING

 

Hajime:

come on, you nitpick about everything.

it couldn’t have been that bad.

 

Tooru:

it wasn’t

it was WAY WORSE

oh right, ur Primitive Brain can only grasp teeny tiny words 

that means neon yellow fyi

yk ,, the symptom that ur patients exhibit when there’s too much mojo in the blood

starts w/ a j ends w/ an aundice

 

Hajime:

bilirubin.

the mojo.

 

Tooru:

RIGHT

silly me ¬‿¬

 

Hajime:

and thanks. really clears up the image.

what would become of me without the fascinating range of your chromatic intellect, truly.

 

Tooru:

it’s a gift 😌

 

Hajime:

and my condolences for your dignity.

although it does seem way up your alley.

 

Tooru:

UM

how daRE U???????

I LOOKED LIKE SOMETHING A THIRD GRADER WOULD VOMIT AFTER SWALLOWING A WHOLE TUB OF CRAYONS 😡😡

 

Hajime:

props to the stylist for capturing your true essence, then.

 

Tooru:

my WHAT

GRJHSDJFHJSHK

GOD I HATE U SO MUCH I CAN’T EVEN

 

Hajime:

ooh, touched a nerve there.

 

Tooru:

i wish u

& all Ur Children

(READ: GODZILLA SHRINE)

terrible TERRIBLE THINGS

 

Hajime:

he went for the kids.

(PHOTO: Selfie of himself with a hand to his chest as if nursing a gunshot wound.)

a critical hit.

how shall i ever recover?

 

Tooru:

👍 U Don’t 👍

 

Hajime:

fuck HAHAHA

i was kidding. 😂

 

Tooru:

cry me a river

 

Hajime:

baby.

 

Tooru:

SJUT UP

🔪

would it kill you if u don’t exhaust every opportunity to antagonize me every hour

 

Hajime:

wouldn’t make my day, definitely.

 

Tooru:

yet u say I’M the mean one 😠

 

Hajime:

for what it's worth, i think you sold it.

 

Tooru:

SHUSH

u can't sweet talk your way out of this one u ass

also u weren’t even THERE????

 

Hajime:

didn't need to.

doubt even with the ugliest clothes on, people would want to look at anywhere else but you.

Read 7:49 PM

 

Today 7:53 PM

 

Tooru:

u call that a line? 🥱

 

Hajime:

not trying to butter you up if it's true, but sure.

your turn.

 

Tooru:

is your hospital really Haunted?

 

Hajime:

really? you're gonna go with that?

 

Tooru:

it's MY turn 

u have No Jurisdiction 

so???? is it

 

Hajime:

you know i don't believe in ghosts.

 

Tooru:

that wasn’t the question

oh my god

IT IS HAUNTED ISN'T IT ⁉️ ⁉️

DID SOMEBODY ACTUALLY D-WORD INSIDE THE ELEVATOR

 

Hajime:

easy there, conspiracy theorist.

that's just hearsay, okay?

we're a hospital. of course it comes with a rep.

 

Tooru:

OOOH so u’re part of the Cover-Up 😳

naturally since yk ,,

ur mom freaking owns it

 

Hajime:

for the last time, no one died in the elevator.

 

Tooru:

HMM

i'm onto u

[GIF: “I’m watching you.”]

 

Hajime:

shouldn't you be off arranging a seating chart or something?

 

Tooru:

well aren't U supposed to be off doing a surgery or smthn 🤨

 

Hajime:

next one’s scheduled tomorrow.

 

Tooru:

then Catch Some Sleep?????

 

Hajime:

i'm good.

 

Tooru:

OOOH why not 😳

are The Voices too loud

do u wake up w/ your stuff misplaced

do u feel as if u’re being WATCHED

 

Hajime:

all i feel is a headache coming on.

 

Tooru:

HAHAHAHSHAHEJ

😝

srsly tho 

u probably had a tiring day

🔫 🔫  Rest

 

Hajime:

what makes you think i'm not already doing that?

Read 8:19 PM

 

Today 8:21 PM

 

Tooru:

ok now THAT was def a Move

 

Hajime:

mhm.

walked right into that one, too. 😂

 

Tooru:

i

i actually H8 U

here i was

being my Considerate Self

and u HOODWINK ME

 

Hajime:

not hoodwinking if i meant it, shittykawa.

 

Tooru:

psh

YEAH RIGHT

 

Hajime:

hey.

just let me, alright? i missed this.

i missed you.

Read 8:28 PM

 

Today 8:34 PM

 

Tooru:

oh

i

missed u too

or whtvr

 

Hajime:

yeah?

 

Tooru:

nvm your head's already as Humongous as it is

 

Hajime:

you like this head :(

Read 8:38 PM

 

Today 8:43 PM

 

Tooru:

clearly, there’s smthn deranged about me that i do

 

Hajime:

clearly. 

it’s your taste, take it up with management. 🤷

 

Tooru:

funny

have u eaten?

 

Hajime:

have you?

 

Tooru:

Y R U DEFLECTING

 

Hajime:

why aren’t you answering?

 

Tooru:

bc i asked FIRST 😠

 

Hajime:

and i'm asking you, now.

we’ve been talking for quite a while and you haven't dropped the convo long enough for a meal.

Read 8:46 PM

 

Today 8:48 PM

 

Tooru:

neither have u

 

Hajime:

hm, that's fair.

you have facetime?

 

Tooru:

huh

 

Hajime:

give me a few minutes to put this away, then i'm all yours.

 

Tooru:

HUH

 

Hajime:

baby.

i'm asking you to dinner.

Read 8:55 PM

 

Today 8:59 PM

 

Tooru:

oh

OH

 

Hajime:

pft, slow.

 

Tooru:

ZIP IT

I Can Leave U Here

 

Hajime:

will you though?

Read 9:03 PM

 

Today 9:08 PM

 

Hajime:

that a yes to dinner then?

 

Tooru:

u wanna see me That Bad huh 🤧

 

Hajime:

well, yeah.

thought that was obvious.

 

Tooru:

luh

LUH

OBVIOUS UR FACE

 

Hajime:

you're seriously going to make me say it? fine.

ru, i want to see you that it hurts to breathe.

will you let me call so we can have dinner together, please?

Read 9:12 PM

 

Today 9:14 PM

 

Tooru:

i'm just gonna be talking your ear off the Entire Time

 

Hajime:

wouldn't have expected less.

 

Tooru:

it goes against your “No Phones on the table” rule

 

Hajime:

technically still won’t be using it.

 

Tooru:

still bending

 

Hajime:

what can i say?

some people are worth bending the rules for.

Read 9:16 PM

 

Today 9:19 PM

 

Tooru:

UGHHH

if u beg so

call

 

Hajime:

bossy.

 

Tooru:

loser pLS

u LOVE me this way

 

Hajime:

crazy talk ;)



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

. scroll on i’m just gonna scream real quick

21:26 19/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 5m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 4m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

feeling v nostalgic atm :(

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 3m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

back in college we only used 2 sneak in eo’s dorms & eat instant ramen while binging movies/studying for dates

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

yrs down the line not much has changed 😭👍 decent salaries w/ viable off-the-clock social hours? in this economy???

 


🔒 @godziwa

well, shit. this is nice.

21:29 19/08/21

🔒 @godziwa 2m

Replying to @godziwa

never thought i’d get to have this again.

 

🔒 @godziwa 1m

Replying to @godziwa

note to self: take you out on a proper date next time. 



takahiro @californiamakki 

video call dates should be against community guidelines

21:33 19/08/21

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 3m

Replying to @californiamakki

?!?;!?;?;!

 

takahiro @californiamakki 1m

Replying to @lalalalisa

it’s almost midnight and i can hear them flirting in the kitchen the urge to bring the toaster into the bath w/ me is unreal



Koushi @sgwrkoushi 

we’ve had history. we go out twice a week. we call eo by terms of endearment. we fight like an old married couple. we text during our breaks. we flirt like adolescents. and we smile at the other when they’re not looking. yes…we’re JUST FRIENDS.

21:38 19/08/21

Alisa ✔ @haibalisa 2m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi

NAURRR 😭😭😭

 

satori @cestdoux 1m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi

hit tweet oomf go off



Atsumu ✔ @miyatsumu 

@sakusamd hi

Quoted Tweet:

takahiro @californiamakki 16m

video call dates should be against community guidelines

21:39 19/08/21

2.8K Retweets 365 Quote Tweets 4.7K Likes

Atsumu ✔ @miyatsumu 3m

Replying to @miyatsumu

in case u’re also looking for someone to bond w/ while charting 👉👈

 

Kiyoomi @sakusamd 1m

Replying to @miyatsumu

do i know you?



ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

HELPPP I CAN’T BREATHEEHDSWHAHAJAHA

Quoted Tweet:

Kiyoomi @sakusamd 7m

do i know you?

21:46 19/08/21

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 3m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

hope it does the job

 

Koushi @sgwrkoushi 3m

Replying to @thebettermiya

HAHSHAJSHAHHSAHSA OH U POOR POOR THING




tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 

NORMALIZE BLAMING EVERYTHING ON @samurice 

21:49 19/08/21

Osamu @samurice 5m

Replying to @thebettermiya

?

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 4m

Replying to @samurice

U JUST HAD TO WEAR THE SAME FACE HE MUST’VE BEEN DISGUSTED BEYOND CONCEPTION

 

Osamu @samurice 2m

Replying to @thebettermiya

do i know you?

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 33s

Replying to @samurice

I WILL SHOVE U BACK INTO MAMA’S WOMB ISTFG



tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 

I BARED MY SOUL 2 U AND THIS IS HOW U TAKE RESPONSIBILITY 😭❓❗❗❓❓❓❗

Quoted Tweet:

Kiyoomi @sakusamd 8m

do i know you?

21:54 19/08/21

satori @cestdoux 2m

Replying to @thebettermiya

“i'm just a boy, standing in front of another boy, asking him to love him.” 😔

 

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 1m

Replying to @thebettermiya

who said that

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 

Replying to @lalalalisa

i did

 

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 1m

Replying to @thebettermiya

REALLY WHEN????????

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 

Replying to @lalalalisa

yeah, in his bookstore and all

 

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 1m

Replying to @thebettermiya

HE OWNS A BOOKSTORE????????

 

Koushi @sgwrkoushi 

Replying to @lalalalisa

i can’t defend u anymore



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

Today 9:55 PM

 

Hajime:

stop tweeting.

you're mine tonight, remember?

 

Tooru:

so STINGY

 

Hajime:

and i begged so.

 

Tooru:

u did

(GIF: rolling eyes)

guess i'm Stuck w/ u 

 

Hajime:

good.

wouldn't have it any other way.

 

Tooru:

SKDJSJFJS

FLIRT

 

Hajime:

yes, and i do so responsibly.

and exclusively.

 

Tooru:

ahuh

as if 🙄

 

Hajime:

tsk.

eyes up here.



✎✐



FACETIME

 

Hajime: “I said eyes here.”

 

“They are!” : Tooru

 

Hajime: [stifles laughter]

 

“WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!” : Tooru

 

Hajime: “Red’s a nice color on you.”

 

[hides face in collar] “QUIET!” : Tooru

 

Hajime: [laughs] “Hey.”

 

[glares] “What?” : Tooru

 

Hajime: [smiles] “Only the worst for you.”



✎✐



00:03

Friday, 20 Aug

 

Notification Center:

 

MESSAGES now

rin

psst

 

MESSAGES now

rin

missed me?



✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORY

 

sunarin 5m daddy’s home



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Prowl ✔ @newsonprowl

JUST IN: Suna Rintaro is spotted being received at NAIA by mystery man. More details to follow.

16:29 20/08/21

26K Retweets 5.7K Quote Tweets 24K Likes



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

b0ssxzc bente un0

August 27, 4:48 PM

 

Issei:

just saying, otis had more chemistry with ruby

 

Tetsuro:

yeah and we get that

but they’ve been building him and maeve up since season one

naturally, the appeal of their bond lies in the amount of times it’s been thru the wringer

 

Issei:

yet it’s been dragged out for ages

slow burn had burned out

 

Tetsuro:

HE’S HIS FIRST LOVE ALRIGHT???

u try to get over the person who coached u out of your comfort zone

 

Issei:

u mean the same person who treated me like a safety net? no thanks

chronology is irrelevant

 

Hajime:

not even going to ask.

 

Tetsuro:

YOOOOO

LOOK WHAT THE TRIANGLE DRAGGED IN

 

Kiyoomi:

signed out at 5 pm? pretty early

 

Hajime:

got more wedding shit tomorrow.

that sex ed?

 

Tetsuro:

😳🕶️🤏

WELL THAT’S A HELLUVA CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

SO U DO KNOW WHAT NETFLIX IS

 

Kiyoomi:

that's news

 

Tetsuro:

and here i was worrying myself sick as to whether u’ll grow gray solving nothing but sudokus in the morning paper 😭🤘

 

Hajime:

there goes your key to my condo.

 

Issei:

fr tho, isn't cnn the only channel you watch on?

 

Tetsuro:

HAHAHAHAHA CNN IS THE ONLY CHANNEL HE’S GOT ON CABLE

and we thought kiyo’s the mountain hermit

although i do remember him being avid about those cleaning tik toks

 

Kiyoomi:

🖕



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Issei @mattsun

@sakusamd [in tik tok voice] hey yo sanitation check

17:14 27/08/21

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 3m

Replying to @mattsun

-p heartbreak anniversary

 

🔒 @godziwa 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro

was this what you were dancing to in the pedia ward yesterday @sakusamd?

 

Kiyoomi @sakusamd 1m

Replying to @godziwa

i’m blocking all of you



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

b0ssxzc bente un0

Today 5:17 PM

 

Hajime:

i'm with issei on that one tho.

 

Issei:

?

 

Hajime:

maeve's become more of an idea otis is infatuated with.

with ruby, they saw each other’s ugly parts and still brought out a certain maturity from their relationship.

being together would've helped them both grow as individuals.

Seen by Tetsuro, Issei, and Kiyoomi.

 

Today 5:23 PM

 

Tetsuro:

HANG ON

U SERIOUSLY WATCHED IT ⁉️ ⁉️

 

Hajime:

the fuck do you take me for?

 

Tetsuro:

uhh a boomer?

 

Issei:

(2)

 

Kiyoomi:

(3)

 

Hajime:

dicks.

 

Issei:

i'm surprised you're on the new girl's side

 

Tetsuro:

YEAH

i was under the presumption u’d be the first on #TeamFirstLove

 

Hajime:

like sei said, chronology’s irrelevant.

if someone else comes along who shows you what you've been hung up on chasing from one person

then maybe the first isn't always the right one.

Seen by Tetsuro, Issei, and Kiyoomi.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Tetsuro @tetzkuro

(GIF: surprised pikachu)

17:41 27/08/21

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro

fucking chills man wHY DO I GET THE FEELING OF BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF A BAD FORESHADOWING

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 1m

Replying to @tetzkuro

IF MY MANOK (Filipino word for chicken) LOSES I’M BLAMING IT ON YOU @mattsun SHUT UP ABOUT RUBY ALREADY

 

Issei @mattsun 23s

Replying to @tetzkuro

how could i have portended he’d draw a shitty parallel



✎✐



MESSENGER

 

b0ssxzc bente un0

Today 5:43 PM

 

Kiyoomi:

that sounds tragic

 

Tetsuro:

ANYWAY

why are we sacrificing our peace being gung ho over a bunch of idiots who can’t communicate

 

Issei:

you started it

 

Tetsuro:

THEN I’M ENDING IT

BOSS @Hajime

 

Hajime:

what?

 

Tetsuro:

what’s the stat on u and the missus? where are you guys headed tomorrow? 🥰

Seen by Issei, Kiyoomi, and Hajime.

 

Today 5:49 PM

 

Hajime:

nowhere.

 

Issei:

?

 

Hajime:

he's not coming with us.

 

Tetsuro:

HUH

DIDN’T U SAY OIKAWA SAID Y’ALL ARE GOING RING SHOPPING OR SOMETHING???

 

Kiyoomi:

so this "us" is you and…?

 

Hajime is typing…

 

Hajime:

rin.

Seen by Tetsuro, Issei, and Kiyoomi.



✎✐



MESSAGES

[10 hours earlier]

 

ligalig

August 27, 7:02 AM

 

Tooru:

good morning LOSER

may ur toes get Run Over by a wheelchair today <33

 

Hajime:

morning.

mean as usual, but i hope you've had a nice breakfast.

 

Tooru:

as a matter of fact i did tyvm <33

here to inform u that i already called ahead so the store will be expecting us @ 10 tomorrow

was thinking

we could grab sum 🥞 before then

only if it’s cheat day or whtvr

 

Hajime:

i'd love to, baby.

but uh 

actually, about that

i might have to take a raincheck?

Read 7:08 AM

 

Today 7:10 AM

 

Tooru:

oh

okayyy

we can just resched no biggie

when r u least busy ?

 

Hajime:

no, i mean

would it be alright if only i went?

 

Tooru:

???

DID U ACTUALLY CONCUSS URSELF THIS MORNING 😭

as much faith as i place in u w/ everything else

i can NOT trust u near jewelry 

lest our clients end up w/ the Blandest design 

 

Hajime:

oi, i'm not that bad.

 

Tooru:

except U R

certified: Grandpa

 

Hajime:

if how you act is anything to go by i'd say everyone would tend to like one to you.

 

Tooru:

ok bye i'll go on my Own

i don’t wanna see ur ugly mug either 👍👍👍👍

 

Hajime:

HAHAHA

i didn’t say anything, shittykawa.

Read 7:26 AM

 

Hajime:

oikawa.

Read 7:29 AM

 

Hajime:

aight, i take it back. 😂

your maturity is in a class of its own po.

 

Tooru:

STOP PATRONIZIGN ME

ARROGANT DUCK

Read 7:35 AM

 

Tooru:

*FUCK

DON'T U DARW

 

Hajime:

ah.

 

Tooru:

SDHUT UP!!!!!!!

i freakingghate u so bad

 

Hajime:

i can quack if that's what you want.

 

Tooru:

QUIET I SAID

THEN DO SO

 

Hajime:

only if you take back all that shit about me being a grandpa.

 

Tooru:

👎👎👎

my mother raised no LIAR

 

Hajime:

hey.

i really do want to see you tomorrow tho.

Read 7:46 AM

 

Today 7:49 AM

 

Tooru:

ditto

ig

 

Hajime:

hey, don't be like that :( 

i’ll make it up to you.

i'll free my afternoon. what do you want to do?

we could go see a movie?

i think there's a cinema that shows star wars reruns around qc.

or we could

 

Tooru:

HEY NOOO

it's fine i promise

u already have plans w/ ur friend :(

i don’t wanna get in the way

 

Hajime:

stupid.

my plans are always better with you in them, alright?

remember that.

 

Tooru:

KSKSKDJSJ

STOOOOOOOP

 

Hajime:

hahaha, so? what do you say?

yes? or

yes?

 

Tooru:

ok twice stan 🔥

 

Hajime:

it's the only acceptable answer, sorry. 😂

 

Tooru:

PSH

but

the the movies sounds great 🥺

 

Hajime:

anything for my baby.

 

Tooru:

so who r u going w/ ?

Read 7:57 AM

 

Today 8:06 AM

 

Hajime:

just a friend.

who's back in town.

my mom overheard me talking about our thing tomorrow and she

endorsed the idea that i take him with.

 

Tooru:

ohhh

wait y can't i tag along ?

i'm VERY friendly!!!!

bet we'd vibe & u’re Scared imma steal him away from ur Boring ass 😼

 

Hajime:

god, hope that's the case.

Read 8:10 AM

 

Hajime:

you sure you won't mind a third?

 

Tooru:

again YES 🙄

since he's a friend of urs, then he must be aces

Read 8:14 AM

 

Today 08:16

 

Hajime:

hang on.

that compliment dangerously lacks a distinctive backhandedness.

growing soft on me oikawa?

 

Tooru:

ugh PLS

it was .. a momentary Malfunction 

of the grammar checker in my brain

your name succeeded by laudation that is otherwise BLACKMAILED out of me or a prelude to a Favor

makes for Poor Sentence Construction

Read 8:21 AM

 

Today 8:23 AM

 

Hajime:

damn.

do you have a list you rehearse for verbal warfare or do you just come up with them on the spot?

 

Tooru:

GASP

 

Hajime:

if it's the second, then your innate vileness is just astonishing.

 

Tooru:

affrontive of u to assume this Level of Wit is artificial

just bc YOUR default resort is to PUNCH doesn't mean the rest of us are as Barbaric 

 

Hajime:

like i said

astonishing.

 

Tooru:

iwa-chan

ur going off on a Tangent

don't make me wring the name out of u .

 

Hajime:

right, right.

it's uh

rin.

suna rintaro?

Read 8:36 AM

 

Today 8:40 AM

 

Hajime:

ru?

hey, if you're not comfortable with it, i can tell rin we can catch up some other day.

 

Tooru:

NO

iT's not THAT

HAHAJSJAJSHAH

sryyy maki just informed me of a last-minute shoot tmrw

i don’t think i can come after all

Read 8:42 AM

 

Today 8:44 AM

 

Hajime:

i see.

 

Tooru:

yeahhh

but i hope u two have fun!!

send my regards to suna <33

 

Hajime:

will do.

are you sure it’s okay with you?

 

Tooru:

lmaooo why wouldn't it be

 

Hajime:

hundred percent positive?

 

Tooru:

1000% HAHAJSAHSJAHHAHA

y do u even need my permission???

it's not like i'm your keeper or smthn

or ur boyfriend lol

😹

Read 8:51 AM

 

Today 8:54 AM

 

Hajime:

right.

 

Tooru:

RIGHT

HAHAJAAJSJAHJA

enjoyyy <33

 

Hajime:

fine.

but give me a call if you need anything.

i mean it. just say the word, i'm there.

 

Tooru:

kk!!! lateeeers :)

Read 8:58 AM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

(MEME: dipping head in ice)

09:26 27/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 3m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

pls the way i PANICKEDSKSKJFSK CLOSE CALL

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

praying he bought it Or Else

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

well he doesn’t have another choice bc there’s No Way in Hell that i’m ready 2 open THAT can of worms & dive back in it hNGG



✎✐



MESSAGES

[present time]

 

rin

August 27, 9:41 PM

 

Rintaro:

psst pogi (Filipino word for handsome)

what time?

 

Hajime:

pick you up at 9?

 

Rintaro:

okaaay

treat me to lunch 🥺

 

Hajime:

when have i ever not?

 

Rintaro:

grumpy as always

admit it, u missed me

 

Hajime:

sure it’s not the other way around?

 

Rintaro:

hm, so-so

i missed your best parts

 

Hajime:

which are?

 

Rintaro:

😏

 

Hajime:

shithead HAHAHA

 

Rintaro:

i meant mama iwa and lil kej

not my fault your mind’s in the gutter :p

 

Hajime:

yeah yeah.

maybe i do.

a little.

 

Rintaro:

😳🥺

omg stop it!!! I'M KILIG AAAAA

 

Hajime:

 weirdo 😂

 

Rintaro:

ok i gtg

baba’s calling me down for dinner

 

Hajime:

say hi to tito for me.

tomorrow?

 

Rintaro:

yup! it's a date 😘

Read 10:03 PM



✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORIES

 

iwaizumihajime ✔ hacked lol

 

sunarin 🔒 📍 Queen’s christmas is a few months away but thanks u didn’t have to @iwaizumihajime 🎁

 

kidding, i’m on ninong (Filipino word for godfather) duties

 

sunarin 🔒 BEEN CRAVING BURGERS AND FRIES FUCK U @iwaizumihajime 🥺

 

iwaizumihajime ✔ babysitting @rintarosuna



✎✐



TWITTER

 

[DRAFT]

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

they look …. cute together …. lol no wonder his Mom ships them

12:17 28/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

sana all (Filipino phrase expressing envy) hahahaha jk



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

ligalig

August 28, 7:49 PM

 

Hajime:

hey.

dropping rin off.

have you eaten?

Delivered.

 

Today 8:01 PM

 

Hajime:

i’m making a stop at that bakery you like.

coming over. are you home?

how was your shoot?

Delivered.

 

Today 8:08 PM

 

Hajime:

tooru?

Delivered.



✎✐



20:09

Saturday, 28 Aug

 

Notification Center:

 

INSTAGRAM 1m

sunarin

sunarin mentioned you in their story: “he can’t stop checking his phone lmfao what’s got u so pissed boi @iwaizumihajime

 

MESSAGES now

dinorado

oi, i’m taking this one home.



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

dinorado

August 28, 8:09 PM

 

Osamu:

oi, i’m taking this one home.

 

Hajime:

?

 

Osamu:

?

tooru.

i’m taking him home.

Seen 8:12 PM



✎✐



MESSAGES

[7 hours ago]

 

publicist (unfortunately)

August 28, 1:05 PM

 

Takahiro:

astro boy

do u rlly not wanna call it a day?

order in takeout & put on desperate housewives

 

Tooru:

i’m ok!! promise

i need to

do smthn wedding-related

take advantage of the headstart

 

Takahiro:

u’re the one who changed his mind the last second

didn’t u ask me to postpone today’s shoot bc u’re hitherto booked

what happened 2 the “engagement u just can’t put off”

 

Tooru:

ah.

he had a

prior commitment

 

Takahiro:

👁️👄👁️

uh oh

is it already happening

 

Tooru:

what

 

Takahiro:

lemme guess

doc dreamy’s got a hot date? 😏

Read 1:09 PM

 

Today 1:11 PM

 

Takahiro:

wanna know what’s fun w/ imessage?

read receipts 😍😍😍

Read 1:13 PM

 

Today 1:15 PM

 

Takahiro:

i’m just gonna keep talking

might as well let the cat out of the bag

besides i need the gossip material 2 report back 2 ur sis lol

tooru

tooru

tooru

tooru

tooru

 

Tooru:

UGH

don't i pay u 2 mind ur OWN business?????

 

Takahiro:

newp

u pay me 2 mind UR business

come ooon maki knows best, listen 2 ur maki

were they who u’ve been virtually stalking the whole morning??

 

Tooru:

NO

Read 1:15 PM

 

Tooru:

it’s nothing

he’s doing an errand for his mom

major deal

 

Takahiro:

ahuh

then y the long face

& the sighing

& the pining

 

Tooru:

WTF I DON’T HAVE ONE

may i remind u WHO paid for lunch today 🤨

leave me alone

 

Takahiro:

to what? wallow in self-pity and misery???

plus that’s exactly my point

u paid for EVERYBODY IN THE STUDIO

textbook retail therapy if i’ve ever seen it

u’re avoiding smthn

 

Tooru:

just

didn't sleep well

wedding stuff yk

and lunch was to make up for all the trouble of rushing everyone :((

 

Takahiro:

sure

fineee i won’t press

don’t stay out too late alright? 

text me if u need me to book a cab

 

Tooru:

so u DO love me after all 🥺

 

Takahiro:

r u on bath salts

who’ll pay for my bills if u’re gone

but srsly, all ur brains went to that pretty face

don’t die by accidentally walking into traffic or whtvr

 

Tooru:

RUDE

i’m plenty capable 😤

btw koushi & the others will be there at 8

 

Takahiro:

yeye gotchu

update me when u’ve arrived at the resto

Read 1:27 PM

 

Today 1:30 PM

 

Takahiro:

u don’t know how to get there, do u?

 

Tooru:

um

 

Takahiro:

🤦🏻



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

…. icb i’m actually Lost …. in my HOME COUNTRY

13:34 28/08/21



ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

 

                       🕯

              🕯              🕯

        🕯                         🕯

 

   🕯        Onigiri Miya       🕯

 

        🕯                          🕯

              🕯              🕯

                        🕯

 

13:39 28/08/21

takahiro  @californiamakki 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

could’ve used the time for laying out a summoning circle to use google maps instead muttonhead

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 17s

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

hoping your ass gets picked up by a white van



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

barry benson bootleg

August 28, 1:42 PM

 

Atsumu:

HOY

 

Tooru:

TSUM TSUM 😭😭😭

 

Atsumu:

OH BE A BABY SOMEWHERE ELSE

where’d the cab drop u off

 

Tooru:

ayala triangle gardens

why does everything look so DIFFERENT than i remember huhu

 

Atsumu:

probably because u’ve been gone for six fucking yrs dumbass

one would think u’re the country’s most wanted

wouldn’t put it past that fucking “magnetic” personality tbh 🧐

 

Tooru:

pick another time to have a bone to pick w/ me

everyone's staring ohmyGOD

I LOOK LIKE A STOOD UP DATE

 

Atsumu:

HAHAHAJAJEHQHEHQHQ

 

Tooru:

ATSUMU ISTG

i will tattle to doc sakusa ur

HIGH SCHOOL BOY BAND GEEK PHASE

piss-colored hair pics and all !!!!!!!!!!

 

Atsumu:

find your way yourself with that mouth then 👋🏻

 

Tooru:

TSUM TSUM 😭😭😭

 

Atsumu:

FUCKING CHILL

resto’s on the opposite side of the avenue

but don’t move cuz i already texted the other dumbass n he said he’ll come get u

THAT BITCH

WHILE HE CAN WATCH ME COMMUTE IN COLD BLOOD 🤬

 

Tooru:

akskSKFKSK@(_+$;

sry i droppwd my ph One 

wHAT

Delivered.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

[DRAFT]

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

shitshitshitSHIT MIYA ATSUMU IM GON FUKCINH SKIN U ALIVE

13:58 28/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 3m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

i haven’t seen osamu in YEARS…… but i still remember His Tinola 🥺 

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

GOD this isso embarrassing!!!!! i look so haggard from the shoot i sHOULD’VE 

LISTENED TO MAKI!!!!!!!!!!

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

w8 i think this is him on the motorcycle

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 7s

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

KSKDJSJR yepp he just waved @ me GRR @thebettermiya why couldn’t u be 

more like your brother >:((



tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 

i can sense u badmouthing me @xtratoorustrial INGRATE 

14:04 28/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2s

Replying to @thebettermiya

…… u’re not wrong



✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORIES

 

theoikawatooru ✔ 4h thanks for the pick-up @samurice :( 

 

theoikawatooru ✔ 3h 📍 Onigiri Miya

 

samurice 1h go home, takaw (Filipino word for glutton). you’re gonna bleed us dry @theoikawatooru 😂

 

theoikawatooru ✔ 20m @samurice ← my personal chauffeur for the day (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)



✎✐



MESSAGES

[present time]

 

dinorado

August 28, 8:15 PM

 

Hajime:

what?

 

Osamu:

wdym what

he’s with me, remember?

 

Hajime:

reason being?

 

Osamu:

uh, for the catering?

 

Hajime:

we’re not supposed to meet you ‘til next week.

 

Osamu:

he said he had the time, might as well get ahead of the sched.

 

Hajime:

and he went alone?

 

Osamu:

yep. picked him up from ayala.

he said you were out of commission.

didn’t he tell you?

 

Hajime:

did he tell you he did?

 

Osamu:

yeah.

i was gonna text you but you know how it is here on saturdays.

 

Hajime:

i see.

right. course he told me.

can you tell him to check his phone?

 

Osamu:

phone’s dead.

i made sure he ate dinner if that’s what you’re worried about.

 

Hajime:

thanks.

you guys still at the resto?

 

Osamu:

just about to leave.

everything okay, man?

 

Hajime:

stay there.

i’ll take him home.

 

Osamu:

s’cool, i don’t mind the extra trip.

 

Hajime:

no.

i’m heading there right now.

 

Osamu:

relax, he’s in safe hands.

he seems to be in a rush so i closed up shop early.

something about akaashi and the whole crew swinging by later.

 

Hajime:

i can call kej. tell him to stay put.

 

Osamu:

hold up.

Read 8:29 PM

 

Today 8:31 PM

 

Osamu:

tooru says not to bother.

anw gotta bounce, this one’s like a cat on a hot tin roof 😂

drive safe, bro.

 

Hajime:

i said i’ll fucking do it.

Delivered.

 

Hajime:

osamu.

Delivered.

 

Hajime:

goddammit.

Delivered.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

🔒 @godziwa

feel like i’m going to lose my fucking mind.

21:36 28/08/21

🔒 @godziwa 2m

Replying to @godziwa

well-played, baby. well-played.



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

rin

August 28, 8:39 PM

 

Hajime:

change of plans.

 

Rintaro:

??

r u STILL outside

 

Hajime:

you wanted to meet him, right?

we’re crashing a party.

Read 8:40 PM



✎✐




Osamu Miya (26)

aka the CATERER


  • owner and head chef of Onigiri Miya
  • he-who-knows-all (about the Oikawa Tooru secret at least)
  • everyone has had a crush on him at some point
  • Iwaizumi Hajime’s childhood best friend and biggest threat

Rintaro Suna (27)

aka the PLUS ONE


  • successor (yes, another one) of the Suna Group 
  • met Iwaizumi Hajime on a blind date set up by his mother
  • kept in close touch with the Iwaizumi siblings while finishing a Master’s Degree in Business Administration in London
  • ring sponsor
  • Oikawa Tooru’s worst nightmare



✎✐



August 28, 2021

9:01 PM

 

In all of Kozume Kenma's years of friendship with Bokuto Koutaro and the rest of the “world tour” club, as Koushi dubbed it, and dating Kuroo Tetsuro, he feels secure with the knowledge that he had already seen the most animal side of humanity.

But, like all things related to Oikawa Tooru, the punchline will always be, “Or has he?”

The thought circulates in his mind as he watches said friend and said friend's ex stare each other down and diffuse bad blood in the room. Oh boy, Kenma laments, Kuroo would've loved this.

“Iwaizumi,” Tooru enunciates each syllable, eyes flaring with animosity.

“Oikawa,” Hajime returns the salutation with a contrastingly cold inflection in his voice.

Now, while this scene isn't necessarily groundbreaking, as the pair is notoriously known for their infantile rivalry, what really puts the icing (pun, unintended) on top of this recipe for disaster are their two uninvited companions, looking back-and-forth at them.

“Suna?” Osamu extends a greeting hand, smiling affably and successfully stupefying Rintaro, who shakes it in the space between the silently dueling exes. “Miya.”

“Tendou!” Satori unhelpfully contributes from the kitchen. Whether he mistook the exchange for an attendance check or he did it just for the sake of it, no one can tell.

“Kuya,” Keiji speaks up, approaching the small group to mediate. “We weren't expecting you.” Kenma hears the annoyance and implicit “What the dickens are you doing here?” in the statement.

“Still a man of surprises,” Tooru grits out, with a cloying smile.

“More like a man of my word.” Without tearing his eyes away from Tooru, Hajime lifts a paper bag, insignia of a high-end jewelry brand emblazoned on both sides, in his hand. “Got the rings.”

Tooru burns holes on the bag as Keiji takes it, feeling irrationally miffed at an inanimate object all of a sudden. Those things better look like they were made for goddamn royalty or else I’m dicing him to fit through them, himself. “You've been busy.”

Hajime's gaze briefly darts to the man beside Tooru. “So have you.”

The suspense inside the apartment thickens to a point of palpability. Breaths are held and eyes are glued to the unfolding confrontation. Kenma's pretty sure this...whatever it is, has gone beyond the summit on the pending riot scale.

Luckily (or unluckily—depending on whose angle, really), Rintaro breaks the ice by elbowing Hajime and offering a hand to Tooru, oblivious to the brewing tension. “You must be Oikawa Tooru.”

Tooru snaps out of his wrathful haze, suddenly remembering that they weren’t alone and berates himself for the inhospitable behavior. Damn it, Tooru. Put a pin on it. “Suna Rintaro.” he accepts the handshake, with a sincere smile. “Finally, a face to the name.”

Before he can retract his hand, however, Rintaro changes his grip to a perusing one. “You have very pretty hands.” Almond eyes roam over rosy heels and slender fingers. “Setter?”

Tooru is taken aback by the accuracy of the deduction. “That couldn't have been a wild guess.”

Rintaro relinquishes his hold. “I used to play.”

Huh. Iwaizumi sure knows how to pick ‘em. “Were you a setter too?”

“Middle blocker, actually.” Rintaro pockets his hands and gives a friendly shrug of his shoulders. “We should play sometimes. You must have great control of offenses.”

“And you must be quite adept at shutting them down.”

An abstruse emotion glosses the taller man's eyes. “Only because they often misread me.”

Kenma hears Alisa mutter a “damn” from where she sits on the carpeted floor and his own brows shoot up at the jargon choice. Neither was a purposeful dig at the other, that much he's certain. If the two men are aware of that, Kenma doesn't know.

Ugh, he hates Machiavellians.

Hajime clears his throat and gestures at Osamu. “Rintaro, this is Samu.”

“Ah, the best friend,” Rintaro regards with a playful lilt.

Osamu chuckles, jerking thumb in Hajime's direction. “Careful, now. That’s a title used minimally, else he might get the impression he's worth shit.” He nods at Rintaro in acknowledgement. “We've heard a lot about you.”

Tooru bites down on his tongue to prevent “That makes one of us,” from escaping him.

“All good things, I hope?” Rintaro teases, nudging Hajime again with an elbow that Tooru squints at, noting the easy familiarity between the two.

Osamu hums an affirmative, glancing down at his phone. “Anyway, I'm heading out. I really was just dropping Tooru off—”

I—” Tooru interrupts, looping an arm around Osamu's, which Hajime zeroes in on. “—was just asking Samu if he would like to join us tonight.”

The younger Miya sends him a confused frown. “You were?”

“Yeah! Stay like a good wittle boy,” Atsumu yells with a mouthful of chips from where he's hogging the loveseat to himself. “I need a ride!”

“Oh, it's fine,” Rintaro assures. “We only came over to deliver the rings—”

“Well, Rintaro—” Hajime cuts in this time. “—was just telling me how much he missed Keiji.” His mouth stretches to a curve as if challenging him to say no. “You don't mind, do you?”

Tooru very much does, thank you. “Make yourselves at home.”

Sensing the uneasiness of the reception, Rintaro insists, “Oh, Haji and I wouldn't want to impose—”

“Please!” Tooru's voice raises like a whistling kettle unable to contain the boiling temperature within him. “Stay. Haji has vouched for your company. Might as well grace us all with what we've been missing out on.”

The current flowing through their connected glares sizzles as the words hang heavy in the air, but it goes unnoticed by Osamu who just snorts. “Why the hell not? I mean, what's the rush?”

An opportunity is laid out in front of Tooru like a five-course meal and the smirk that spreads out across his lips was of uninhibited ruthlessness. He sears his gaze directly at Hajime's before spinning to strut back to the meeting. “We've got all night.”



✎✐



INSTAGRAM STORIES

 

theoikawatooru ✔ 7m @cestdoux did u stress bake AGAIN ???? 



✎✐



INSTAGRAM

 

cestdoux 7 candles for my forever 7-year old bébé. happy belated birthday, mon chérie! 😘

1,751 likes

Aug 28

theoikawatooru ✔ I TOLD U NOT TO POST I’M A MESS !!!!!

theoikawatooru ✔ but thanks for the surprise ily 🥺

View all 236 comments



✎✐



TWITTER

 

satori @cestdoux

forgot this was supposed to be a cake tasting #soapoperamoment

21:02 28/08/21

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 1m

Replying to @cestdoux 

does sitting down automatically mean accepting an impromptu supporting role

 

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 20s

Replying to @thebettermiya 

tea is best served hot with a slice of dessert indeed 🥵



Koushi @sgwrkoushi

AWOOGA go right ahead and shove more cake w/ atsumu’s twin like we’re not here, zero risks of shortening our life spans whatsoever

21:08 28/08/21

satori @cestdoux 2m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi 

bff is it truly necessary to wipe the icing off of chef steamy’s lips? 💀 

 

takahiro @californiamakki 1m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi 

i’m supposed to be getting diabetes from what i’m eating not WATCHING WHERE’S the #respect



tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya

(MEME: spitting drink)

21:14 28/08/21

curtis @sgwrkoushi 2m

Replying to @thebettermiya 

KRAZY JUMPSCARE

 

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 1m

Replying to @lalalalisa

THE WAY I ALMOST CHOKED

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 1m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi 

WHAT THE SHIT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 1m

Replying to @thebettermiya

where do i sign up to be next tho 👅👅👅



k 🔒 @applepi

jesus christ

21:15 28/08/21

k 🔒 @applepi 4m

Replying to @applepi

@tetzkuro put a leash on that

 

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 3m

Replying to @applepi

WHAT WHO WHY

 

Keiji @keiji.akaashi 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro 

Mind telling me who taught my brother licking the frosting off of someone’s fingers is appropriate behavior?

 

Issei @mattsun 1m

Replying to @keiji.akaashi 

jesus fucking christ



Tetsuro @tetzkuro

@iwaizumihajime LOOK INTO MY EYES THIS ISN’T YOU YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS

21:18 28/08/21

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 2m

Replying to @tetzkuro

PEOPLE ARE GONNA THINK I RAISED A SLOBBERING DOG 

 

Issei @mattsun 1m

Replying to @tetzkuro

seems like one of those little maneuvers you would do ngl

 

Tetsuro @tetzkuro 43s

Replying to @mattsun

did i say he can do a PUBLIC DEMONSTRATION 🤬



ali 🔒 @lalalalisa

@xtratoorustrial girl, green is not a good look on u 🤢

21:17 28/08/21

satori @cestdoux 2m

Replying to @lalalalisa

next thing we know he’s gonna sitting on someone’s lap

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @cestdoux

one like & i’ll do it

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 46s

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

GET A FUCKING GRIP 🔫​​🔫🔪💣🔪



✎✐



August 28, 2021

9:19 PM

 

“OKAY!” declares Keiji, hastily clambering off the couch. The half-eaten slice of cake sits on top of a paper plate, its nearly crumpled state giving away his rising hackles. “That's enough.”

The order sounds more of an admonishment aimed at the four souls sitting across from each other on the farthest side of the living room. Thankfully, they have the decency to look ashamed and temporarily break up whatever cold war two of them are instigating.

The rest of his cortége simultaneously whip their heads to him, abandoning the screens of their phones. The smile Keiji directs at him reminds Satori of himself during February when he spends five consecutive nights baking without a wink of sleep, and is one demanding customer away from ripping his head off. (Valentine's season in Paris must be the tenth circle of hell on Earth.)

“Kuya Tendou, thank you for dessert. All the cakes are delicious, but Kuya Tooru—as he is with everything else, was right.”

Satori pumps a fist in the air, the fork dangling from his mouth, muffling his cheer. “Carrot takes the cake again!” Tooru scowls at the hazardous practice and reaches over to pluck the utensil and place it on his friend’s plate as Satori makes finger guns at the groom, “Don't worry, Kej! I’ll make the cupcakes chocolate especially for your hubby.”

Keiji's smile sweetens. “Thanks, Kuya. He'd appreciate that.” 

Alisa, cleaning out the red velvet crumbs on her plate, asks, “So what's next on the itinerary?” 

“Ah!” Koushi fishes out a bunch of papers from his bag. “I printed what you asked for.” He hands one to Tooru and Keiji and leaves the rest of the copies on the coffee table.

Satori reads the contents over Tooru's shoulder, fork in his mouth again (which the latter yanks out, again). “What is that?”

“Koushi’s wedding program.”

Atsumu drapes himself over the backrest of the couch they're sitting on while Takahiro stands behind them to snoop. “No shit? Memories!” Atsumu taps Tooru's shoulder. “You remember the bouquet toss when the children went rabid?

Koushi giggles in recollection. “Who wouldn’t? All that bloodbath with Bokuto’s nephew and Miwa’s baby brother son attempting to receive it like a volleyball only for—”

“NISHINOYA’S ROLLING THUNDAAA!” the grooms(wo)men sans Kenma chorus, dissolving into loud cackling.

“Kuya Daichi looked like he can't decide between killing them or himself,” Keiji muses, mind briefly wandering back to the memory of a pyramid of cocktail glasses avalanching into a fountain of shards and the abject horror in the groom’s face. The comment prompts the others to laugh even harder and Kenma fights back one of his own.

Tooru wipes the tears from the corner of his eyes, trying to catch his breath. His eyes fall on the ones watching him and his laughter subsides. Hajime wears a fond look on his face, lips curled in a half-smile, the way they do whenever he's listening to a good song or Tooru talk.

Rintaro observes him from the side, trailing after the line of vision. His mouth forms a small ‘o’ before shiftily twitching upward. 

The vague scrutiny seems to dissect the inner machinations of his mind so Tooru coughs and averts his eyes, throwing an invisible veil over them in hopes of diminishing the prickling heat of their stares on his skin.

A shoulder nudges him. “You good?” Osamu mouths.

Tooru smiles at the concern and nods, incognizant to the darkening aura surrounding the other side of the room, before concentrating back on his task. “We'll have Daichi escort the little rascals out this time.” He uncaps a pen and crosses out a segment.

“Hey, what’s the big idea? No newlywed game?” Takahiro interjects.

“You can't be serious!” Alisa cries out from where she's sandwiching Kenma to Keiji's side. “That's like a fundamental for every after-party!”

“Heightening the risk of divorce hours after vows is what it's fundamental for.” Tooru shakes his head, shuddering at a memory. “Have you forgotten what happened when Daichi got Koushi’s perfume brand wrong and Koushi confessed that he can leave his husband for Keita Tanaka?”

Osamu chortles beside him and Tooru responds with an “I know right?” raise of a hand.

Koushi dramatically gasps. “It was a jest, I could never!”

“What's the newlywed game?” Hajime's voice cuts in making everyone turn to him, with a matching incredulous query in their expressions.

Rintaro slaps Hajime's knee, instantly drawing Tooru's narrowed eyes to it when the touch stays. “Told you to stop living under a rock.”

Unbeknownst to Tooru, his friends trade knowing looks with each other and sirens blare inside Keiji's mind upon recognizing the similar scheming gleam in the others’ eyes. Just as he's about to open his mouth to commence countermeasures, Takahiro beats him to it.

“Well, we can't have that now, can we mister planner?” Takahiro roughly pats Tooru's head, eliciting consecutive yelps from his charge. “Why don't you be a peach and show our principal sponsor how it's done?”

What?!” Tooru's eyes almost pop out of the sockets at the suggestion. He casts a warning glare at his publicist but the group is already verbalizing encouragement.

“Who else can better demo a classic wedding game but the organizer himself?” Koushi nods at Alisa’s agreement, seriousness way too exaggerated to be natural. He supports, “Besides, among everyone present who else knows each other like the back of their hands?”

I will feed these people to the fucking sharks.

“We've all been friends for years,” Tooru presses. “I’m sure any one of us can go. We can’t possibly not have enough background on each other.”

“Not the intimate details,” Takahiro singsongs, disappearing into the kitchen after doing his damage. Wait ‘til I get my hands on that one later.

“Unless…” Atsumu hooks an arm around Tooru's neck, wiggling his eyebrows, before clucking like a chicken. Make that two.

Tooru scoffs. what would he be scared of?

(To realize how different he's become and you don't know him as much as you secretly like to pretend you still do.

To realize he hasn't changed one bit then you wouldn't be able to discern which is worse.)

“Then you do it, since you’re very psyched up about it,” he gripes, shrugging Atsumu off to cross his arms.

“I mean, we would…” Koushi rolls his eyes, ‘remorsefully.’ “...but none of us brought significant others.”

“Hm, I don’t know,” Osamu murmurs, calling everyone's attention and surprise. He rests an arm on the backrest behind Tooru and cranes his head back to smirk at his twin. “Maybe some of you might only bring their own shadow.”

Assface!”

“I’m right here.”

“Warn a guy.”

Atsumu repeatedly punches his brother's arm, as Satori and Takahiro—who's still in another room, protest. Osamu shields himself from the hits and socks some of his own in. Tooru laughs to himself. No wonder we get along so well.

“Why can’t Kuya Rintaro go?”

Kenma sits on the couch, indifferently skimming digits over the keys of his PSP. “He and Kuya Hajime are the closest as of late, anyway.”

The air stills and the chatter quietens. 

Tooru becomes hyper aware of the texture of paper against his sweating fingers, the humming of the centralized air-conditioning system of the apartment upstairs, and the suffocating heat of the bodies around him. He refuses to look at Hajime, instead training an unfocused stare on the condensation running down his glass of iced tea on the table. 

That was…true. The remark eats away at the phantom hollowness, forming in his chest, and he quells the urge to vanish and be anywhere else but there. Until—

“Think I'd go with Hanamaki’s idea.”

Tooru stiffens. He flicks his gaze to Hajime whose elbows are propped on denim-clad thighs and green irises boring into his doe ones. Without breaking eye contact and tone leaving no room for negotiation, he says, “Maybe let me pair up with who I want, yeah?”

Air is harshly sucked through his nose and Tooru’s blood sings at the admission, head growing light, almost causing him to keel over. 

“Ouch. Really feeling the love here,” Rintaro deadpans—Shit, right. Rintaro.

“Kenma has a point.” Tooru folds the program with a clap upon regathering his wits, then gasps, condescendingly. “Or here’s a phenomenal idea, you can just look it up. Your ancient technology can support the internet, right?”

Hajime simpers, seeing through his excuse, and Tooru only sarcastically mimics it.

“Or,” Takahiro emerges from his bedroom, carrying four ⅛–sized whiteboards. “How ‘bout a little competition?”

Tooru blinks at the apparatus. “Maki, why…do you have four whiteboards conveniently lying around in the apartment?”

“Irrelevant,” his roommate dismisses, tossing half of the items to Hajime, who catches them with impressive reflexes. “Doc with the new blood.” Takahiro hurls the rest at Tooru, who fumbles to use his lap as a landing point. “And you with Tweedledee.”

“Huh?” Tooru dumbly asks at the same time Rintaro and Osamu parrot back their respective bestowed nicknames. Hajime remains silent throughout the ordeal. “Wait, how come Samu gets roped into this?”

Takahiro groans as if preparing to explain a third time to a five-year old. “You need a partner to participate, don’t you? Since Doc here already has a claim staked on, that leaves you—flagrantly, without one. Unless you’re fine with twiddling your thumbs in a corner like a loser?”

Atsumu, Alisa, and Koushi all convulse in their (failing) attempt to hold back their hysterics while Keiji has long surrendered from even coming up with an intervention. He sighs, knocks back the rest of his tea like a shot, and begins to tidy up the (tangible and not whatever Takahiro is initiating) mess to retreat into the kitchen.

Kenma will follow to help later. He just needs to document this shit so Tetsuro won’t be spamming him about it later both in text and in person.

“Boo, you and Chef Osamu have been catching up all day,” Satori prods, making sure the entire room could hear him. He inwardly hurrahs in triumph when he sees the ticked off expression that passes across Hajime’s features before the man desists to eavesdrop any further. “You’ve got this in the bag.”

Tooru watches as Hajime leans into Rintaro’s space so the latter could whisper into his ear and something ugly akin to disgust or irritation (with a tinge of envy, but of course there’s no way he’ll fess up to that) fizzes through Tooru’s veins.

Osamu lets out an “oof” at the board Tooru thrusts into his gut. “Let’s play.” 

“Level, unlocked,” Kenma’s PSP chimes. “Press x to continue to the next battle.”



✎✐



WEB SEARCH

 

What is the Newlywed Game?

 

DEFINITION The Newlywed Game is a fun party game that's all about quizzing the couple. From their favorite food and drink to their real first impressions of each other, it delves into a variety of topics.

 

If you’re thinking about playing it with the newlyweds, speak to them in advance. You should be 100% certain that they are happy to play the game at any given event.

 

Grainger, C. (2021) How to Play the Newlywed Game: Tips and Sample Questions. BRIDES. https://www.brides.com/newlywed-game-questions-5071334.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

Koushi @sgwrkoushi

this should be good

(PHOTO: selfie drinking tea)

21:21 28/08/21

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 4m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi 

(PHOTO: selfie drinking tea)

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 3m

Replying to @lalalalisa 

(PHOTO: selfie drinking tea)

 

satori @cestdoux 2m

Replying to @thebettermiya

(PHOTO: selfie drinking tea)

 

k 🔒 @applepi 1m

Replying to @cestdoux

(PHOTO: selfie drinking tea)

 

Keiji @keiji.akaashi 2s

Replying to @applepi

🤦



✎✐



THE NEWLYWED GAME

 

First Question:

How does your partner take their coffee?



RINTARO: black (like a heathen)

 

TOORU: cream + sugar

 

HAJIME: COLD BREW, SUGAR NO CREAM

 

SAMU: ICED, REALLY SWEET?

 

IWASUNA – II

 

MIYAOI – II



✎✐



TWITTER

 

🔒 @godziwa

funny.

21:36 28/08/21

🔒 @godziwa 1m

Replying to @godziwa

far as i’m aware, you don’t even drink coffee anymore.

 

🔒 @godziwa 7s

Replying to @godziwa

two can play that game, sweetheart.



✎✐



Second Question:

What is your partner’s biggest pet peeve?



TOORU: playing w/ or wasting food

 

SAMU: NOT PERFECTING ON THE FIRST TRY 

 

HAJIME: PEOPLE TOUCHING HIS PHONE

 

RINTARO: people borrowing his stuff & not returning them to og place

 

IWASUNA – IIII

MIYAOI – IIII



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

LOOOOL what

21:45 28/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

he Likes ppl using his stuff ,, makes his place feel “lived in” or smthn

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

oh mf’s going DOWN

 

takahiro @californiamakki

(MEME: “Mm, the flavor.”)

21:46 28/08/21

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 5m

Replying to @californiamakki

a touch bitter

 

satori @cestdoux 4m

Replying to @lalalalisa

a pinch spicy

 

Koushi @sgwrkoushi 3m

Replying to @thebettermiya

a note sour

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 3m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi 

sour???

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @thebettermiya

that’s just Ur Face

 

k 🔒 @applepi 30s

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

and a full cup of salt apparently

 

 

✎✐

 

 

Third Question:

What was/would be the best/ideal date for your partner?



HAJIME: ARCTIC MONKEYS CONCERT

 

RINTARO: netflix & chill ;p

 

TOORU: food trip / cook for them ??

 

SAMU: MUSEUM/THEATER

 

IWASUNA – VI

MIYAOI – VI



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

IS THIS A FUKCIGNJOKE 😭😭😭

21:57 28/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

his idea of “romance” is to haul ass up a Bunch of Rocks or travel on unmapped terrain to the middle of NOWHERE

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

he’s rlly taking this FAR far huh 😭

 


🔒 @godziwa

good one.

22:01 28/08/21

🔒 @godziwa 1m

Replying to @godziwa

museums are for when you want to be alone. the theater is where you want to be everyday.

 

🔒 @godziwa 4s

Replying to @godziwa

you’re not even trying, baby 😂



tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya

OK DID WE DECIDE ON A REWARD AND I JUST MISSED IT OR ARE THEY REALLY GOING AT EACH OTHER’S THROAT FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES❓❓❓

22:05 28/08/21

Koushi @sgwrkoushi 2m

Replying to @thebettermiya

the way they’re getting a bang out of it makes u question whether there’s a million dollars at stake

k 🔒 @applepi 1m

Replying to @thebettermiya

bragging rights lmao

 

satori @cestdoux 51s

Replying to @applepi

or perhaps we can interest them in a partner exchange 😶 🌫



✎✐



Fourth Question:

Who did/does your partner have a crush on in your friend group?



RINTARO: kita

 

HAJIME: SAMU



✎✐



The reaction is instantaneous. Rintaro’s foot collides with Hajime’s shin, his normally stoic features schooled into a warning glower. Hajime, instead of dodging, revels in his partner’s mortification.

“Screw you. Screw you. Screw you.”

Osamu, who hasn’t gotten the chance to peek at his best friend’s board, twists in his seat but Rintaro is faster to chuck his eraser at Hajime, who flips the board to fend off the projectile. Whereas, Tooruspies on the name scribbled on Rintaro’s board. So he used to have a thing for Kita, huh?

“Oi, Doc! What’s this I’m hearing? I’m telling on your ass to Kuya Aran! You better not be coming for his husband!” Atsumu hollers.

Hajime laughs. “That was ages ago.” In his periphery, Tooru notices the glance briefly pitched to him but he chalks it up to his imagination. “Got my eyes somewhere else now.”

“Shocking turn of events, ladies and gentlemen!” Tooru jumps in his seat when a hand clamps down on his shoulder, succeeded by Takahiro’s impersonation of a television game show host. “Things are beginning to heat up in the ring.”

He’s having way too much fun with this, Tooru thinks. His eyes rove around the room of spectators as though engrossed in a volleyball match. Even Keiji gets cajoled into tallying points behind a printed copy of Koushi’ wedding program. All these morons are.

“Nevertheless!” Takahiro points his makeshift microphone (a sauce spatula) at the scoreboard tracker. “Team Iwa-Suna earns two points! Moving on to our next couple, will this round make or break them?”

Curiosity carries over to the contending pair and Tooru ignores it in favor of psyching himself up to discover the name his own partner wrote down. Of course, he already has an inkling on who it is and he cannot afford to freeze up and give anything away.

Here goes nothing.



✎✐



Fourth Question:

Who did/does your partner have a crush on in your friend group?



TOORU: koushi

 

OSAMU: HAJIME



✎✐



Why?” natatawang tanong ni Osamu, genuinely clueless and intrigued.

“Seemed like your type! Coquettish with a hunk of maturity and—sorta assertive?”

“Hey!” Koushi pipes up, seemingly affronted that Osamu looks spooked for a second, before making a show of waving a flattered hand. “Maybe a little.”

Osamu relaxes and massages his nape. “Sorry, I’m sure you’re great but uh,” He wipes his hands on his jeans. “I don’t go after people who’re already spoken for.”

“Satori, then?” Tooru gestures at the pastry chef. “You both have that kitchen thing in common.” Satori jokingly rides with the notion, winking and sending finger hearts to Osamu, who only amusedly regards his silly antics.

Hajime (being the born ‘butts-himself-in-everything’ bore that he is) dares with a knowing smirk, “If he has a death wish, that is.”

Osamu grins back, equally sly and flipping him off with a finger. “Gago.” (Filipino word for idiot)

The inside joke throws the crowd for a loop. Satori cocks his head to the side in puzzlement and Tooru’s forehead puckers. Ugh, they’re best friends, alright. Nothing else can read a mind better than the brain that operates the same way.

Satori whistles at Tooru. ‘You get any of that?’

Tooru wrinkles his nose. ‘Nada.’

Satori sticks his tongue out. ‘Weirdos.’

Tooru wags his eyebrows once. ‘Tell me about it.’

Question marks litter the top of Alisa's, Atsumu's and Koushi’ heads, completely lost in the telepathic conversations while Kenma and Keiji roll their eyes in concert.

“Nah,” Osamu ruefully declines the suggestion, shoving a sniggering Hajime but not forcefully enough to push him off the chair beside him. He apologetically gives a two-fingered salute to Satori. “I value my friendships…and my life.”

It only amplifies the befuddlement but Takahiro decides that the commercial break has been unnecessarily prolonged. “Alright! No point for PH's worst matchmaker here. Luckily for him, Chef Samu’s on the team which leaves us only one to go for Team Miya-Oi to bag this round—”

“No, we didn't.” Takahiro pauses, blinking down at Tooru who’s nonchalantly erasing the name on his board. “Get any. Points, I mean.”

Tooru writes with calculated ease but Satori heeds the strange and nervous quiver in his grip. “Samu got mine wrong.” Once finished, he fights an internal strife with himself for a few seconds before gulping and flipping his board.



✎✐



TOORU: samu



✎✐



Kenma wonders if this is how hell freezes over as he watches the array of reactions from the audience. Atsumu is shrieking something about ‘identical genes,’ their being ‘visually disturbed’ and ‘superficial criteria’ along with some of his twin's unattractive qualities. Alisa pesters a wheezing Koushi and Satori. (“Since when?! Why am I only hearing about this now?!”) Keiji has sought refuge behind his palm.

The origin of this circus show shrinks in his seat and hides the lower half of his blushing face with his board as his partner registers the information, mouthing, “Really?” Tooru reluctantly nods and Osamu bites a fist in hilarity and…enlightenment?

“Tch.”

The abashment wanes and Tooru turns to Hajime, whose arm is slung over the backrest of his chair with an ankle resting on a knee, murderous rage stewing under the placidity that was pulling his face taut. “Just bend the rules to your convenience.”

Irritation sparking within him, Tooru arches a brow. “How would it be advantageous for us if his answer is wrong?”

“Still,” Hajime swings his arm back and props an elbow on his bent knee to lean forward. “You were asked who in his friend group.”

“Then doesn’t he qualify to be pru of it?” Tooru reasons in mock innocence. “How ostracizing of you.”

“The exemption was a given. Wouldn’t it be lousy play if we only acknowledge specifications based on how it favors you?”

“So you’d prefer I lie because you think Samu is not eligible enough to be the best answer?”

Hajime looks as if he’s been slapped across the face. He pokes the inside of a cheek with his tongue and glances away. “Right, like you haven't been doing exactly that since the game started.”

Excuse me—” Tooru dumps the whiteboard on the floor and stomps toward him with his fists clenched, the very picture of a toddler adamant on replevying filched candy. “Are you insinuating that we have been winning through a cheap underhanded strategy?”

“Hm, correct me if i'm wrong,” Hajime rises to his feet to meet his glare dead-on, “but subtlety is a prime ingredient for something to be deemed underhanded. Don't grant your ‘cheap’ trickery the credit.”

“Oh ho ho—” Tooru gapes, huffing a caustic laugh. “You did not just—” He flails his hands in indecision for a moment before settling on pointing an accusatory finger. “Why don’t get off your high horse and admit that you have also been playing dirty, you…you…” He gropes for the right term as one would for the light switch in the dark. “Cheater!

There was a collective gasp from their spectators. 

Tooru crosses his arms in faux confidence and juts his chin out. “That’s right. Your little revisions didn’t sneak past me as successfully as you could’ve prayed for. Your biggest pet peeve isn’t disorganization, it’s when people waste your time! You hate it when words aren’t followed through, tardiness makes you sore, and most of all, you don’t like it when people don’t give their undivided attention to a conversation or a get-together.”

Surprise flashes in green eyes, morphing into giddy self-satisfaction that makes Tooru backtrack. Shit, I walked into that one.

“Yeah?” Hajime steps forward, the heat of the argument evaporating off of him and simmering to the usual banter as he basks in the revelation. “Then please, throw light on ‘venti caramel macchiato frappuccino’ for me. Five shots of espresso that much of a seller? Oh wait—you don’t even drink coffee.”

“I do so! I was a regular at the 7/11 machine back in college, remember? For all you know, I could be sponsored by a multimillionaire company and be the Adam Smith of caffeine capitalism.”

“No, you're not,” Takahiro chips in.

Really now?” Hajime poses to think, rubbing his chin. “That why everytime we’re at a drive thru, you always order their black tea lemonade; and the morning after the bachelor party, you were nagging me for my household’s heretical lack of honey because I might as well have asked you to ‘shotgun acid by serving breakfast tea without it.’”

Tooru reels back, gobsmacked because the statement wasn’t done in reminiscence, but a conclusion drawn from recurrent observation of his present habits. Oh. Hajime’s been paying attention. 

Okay, time to derail his thoughts before they escalate to something stupid like hope.

“First of all, I don’t sound like that,” he hisses in embarrassment. “Secondly, coffee tastes too strong and upsets my stomach, so sue me. Thirdly, since when was staying in for movies an ideal date for an adrenaline junkie?” A finger jabs Hajime on the chest. “Considering that Koushi and I were the ones who went to UP, between you and me, you are the odds-on vote for most likely to advocate to be marooned in the wilderness! Arriba de la montaña vamos!

“Preach!” Koushi yells, hand raised, while Alisa eyes the bowl he’s holding that materialized out of nowhere. “Is that popcorn?”

“That’s grand. Just me? Care to share to the class how much of a gigantic nerd you really are for a paparazzi date?”

“Paparazzi date?” the audience inquires in unison.

“A ‘clandestine’ little rendezvous wherein only a narcissist would find thrill in being chased down by a pack of nosy media dogs,” Hajime explains and he grins at Tooru’s face slowly taking the form of an oversized cherry both in humiliation and fury.

“And so?! Why are you even hounding me over inane things about myself? It’s just a game!”

“Fair to say, demo’s pointless if it isn’t done accurately. Kinda hypocritical to get mad at me for copying your example don’t you think?”

At this point, the scattered peanut gallery has congregated to a spot to gawk at the quarreling couple. Their eyes ricochet like a pinball from one to the other in correspondence to whose turn it is to yell speak while Osamu, sitting diagonally from Rintaro, reciprocates the jaded smile. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. If you wanted to police me so badly, then you should’ve requested a referee’s job instead!”

“Maybe I wouldn’t police you so much, if you didn't make it terribly hard to keep you in check.”

“Well, if you really wanted to keep me in check, then maybe we should’ve been on the same team after all!”

“If you only said yes when I first proposed, then maybe we would still be together!”

A pin could be heard dropping onto the floor, along with the jaws of every single person within the vicinity. The room is swamped by varying levels of shock with numerous inferences beginning to conceive. Tooru pales at the phrasing, causing Hajime to review what he just said. 

When he realizes the equivocal nature of his sentence, he quickly jumps to clarify. “The idea. I meant proposed the idea—to be partners. For the game.”

He’s only met by a dubious and judgmental silence. Tooru buries his face in his palms because no, Hajime has not in fact proposed anything else in all the time they’ve known each other. He’s just a huge fucking imbecile.

And that's the story behind Akaashi Keiji ruling out the newlywed game at his wedding party.



✎✐



TWITTER

 

satori @cestdoux

roses are red

22:47 28/08/21

ali 🔒 @lalalalisa 5m

Replying to @cestdoux 

violets are blue

 

takahiro @californiamakki 4m

Replying to @lalalalisa

put four in a crowd for two

 

curtis @sgwrkoushi 3m

Replying to @californiamakki

and the green-eyed monster cries deja vu

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @sgwrkoushi

i fucking hate THIS friend group

 

tsum 🔒 @thebettermiya 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

by ‘qualification’ n association, urself?

 

Keiji @keiji.akaashi 47s

Replying to @applepi

One night. All I asked for was one normal night.

 

k 🔒 @applepi 22s

Replying to @keiji.akaashi

with those two? what u’re asking for is a miracle lol



✎✐



INSTAGRAM DIRECT MESSAGES

 

sunarin

August 28, 10:49 PM

 

Tooru:

hi

this is tooru! :D

Sent.

 

Tooru:

altho i just realized u can alr see that fhsjsk

Sent.

 

Tooru:

OH WAIT

U MIGHT STILL BE ON THE ROAD

SORRY FOR THE SPAM 😭

Read 10:56 PM

 

Rintaro:

slr, hi!

yeah, i remember u dw haha

people say my best & worst trait is a sharp memory 😂

what’s up?

 

Tooru:

i just wanted to say sorry

for earlier

i didn’t mean for it to get out of hand :(

 

Rintaro:

no biggie! haha

and it wasn’t your fault so no need to apologize

percival was being a dick anw

he had it coming lol

 

Tooru:

still i

shouldn’t have stoked the fire

sorry if we made u uncomfy :((

 

Rintaro:

again, it’s fine hahaha

asshat getting the shit roasted out of him is sumn i don’t see everyday 😂

so thanks for hosting :)

 

Tooru:

oh then

ig u’re welcome? 😅

it was super nice 2 meet uuu btw

 

Rintaro:

u too!

we should get coffee sometimes

ah right, u don’t drink 🤔

 

Tooru:

SDJDKFKDKL

SHHH what happens at maki’s stays at maki’s

 

Rintaro:

HAHAHA ok ok

but srsly, u seem really chill

i’ve been practically begging haji to introduce us

 

Tooru:

he never mentioned that

but sure !! i think u’re really chill too :)

 

Rintaro:

we’ll set up a date

whenever u’re free from wedding stuff

 

Tooru:

i forgot to thank u for ur help w/ the rings !! i haven’t seen them but i bet they’re lovely <33

idk what iwa-chan would’ve done w/o u

 

Rintaro:

pick the first one he sees defo

probs the blandest ones too LMAO he’s hopeless

 

Tooru:

THAT’S WHAT I SAID

 

Rintaro:

great minds 😉

and it was my pleasure, kej’s like a brother to me

plus haji and i enjoyed the quality time so really, thank you ❤️

Read 11:07 PM

 

Today 11:09 PM

 

Tooru:

i’m

glad u guys did :))

 

Rintaro:

tho i’m more glad to get rid of him

frankly, i’m sick of his face

 

Tooru:

oh no whyyy 😂

 

Rintaro:

don’t get me wrong i love the guy

but he just never learns to shut the fuck up god

Read 11:13 PM

 

Today 11:14 PM

 

Tooru:

yeah

he

likes talking to u a lot

 

Rintaro:

lol

sure has a favorite topic

 

theoikawatooru is typing…

 

Rintaro:

congrats on the win btw

 

Tooru:

huh

OH U MEAN

no one won tho 😅

 

Rintaro:

trust me, u guys ran circles around us

mf was just winging it

he can’t even remember a ring size no matter how many times he’s asked for it

 

Tooru:

well u pretty much carried his butt so props to U 🙌

but capital teamwork HAHAHA

it was a lot of fun to watch

u seem to read him really well

 

Rintaro:

yeah? 😏

tbf those were just stuff he digs doing with me so i figured HAHA

hey i gtg

dm me about that hangout k?

 

Tooru:

will do !! take care <33

 

Rintaro:

last thing

tell hajime to behave for me 💋

Read 11:24 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 

BAISE-MOI CAPITAL TEAMWORK????!!!? THAT’S THE BEST I COULD COME UP WITH??!!??? AND WHY ON SATURN DID I HAVE TO KEEP GOING ABOUT IT?????!?!! STUPID STUPIDKSDFKGJDHGKDSJH

23:25 28/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 4m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

he’s so… Nice

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 3m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

well-spoken too and smells like expensive cashmere

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

idk maybe the answers were Right all along & i was just projecting uGHHH 

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 9s

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

war flashbacks go brr



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

dinorado

August 28, 10:50 PM

 

Osamu:

you could’ve just said something, dick.

is that why you’ve been glaring at me like you’ve been plotting my murder all evening?

 

Hajime:

didn't think.

he's been looking forward to “tasting samu’s cuisine” since last monday.

 

Osamu:

and it pissed you.

that he used to regard me that way. eight or seven years ago.

 

Hajime:

all i saw was red, yeah.

 

Osamu:

IDIOT.

it was a silly crush, harmless as a fucking fly.

 

Hajime:

actually, a fly can transmit pathogens for cholera and typhoid.

 

Osamu:

don’t give me that science shit.

tooru’s right, you make it very hard not to clobber you over the head with my hardest kaldero (Filipino word for metal cooking pot).

 

Hajime:

i said i’m sorry.

 

Osamu:

fuck's sake, iwaizumi.

did you even stop for a second to think how cartier would feel if you brought rin?

 

Hajime:

rin?

 

Osamu:

he flaked on you two for a reason. be fucking sensitive.

at the very least, you should’ve considered the time and place. did you really have to make an ass out of yourself in front of keiji’s friends?  

 

Hajime:

i know.

i know, dick move.

learned my lesson, alright?

 

Osamu:

jesus.

you make me gray.

 

Hajime:

fuck.

i messed up, big time.

 

Osamu:

better fix this.

 

Hajime:

you think he'll hear me out?

 

Osamu:

you started this shit.

what the hell do you think?

 

Hajime:

right. sorry.

Read 11:06 PM

 

Today 11:08 PM

 

Osamu:

just be honest with him, alright?

tooru will understand. it's you.

 

Hajime:

still doesn't give me the right to abuse it.

 

Osamu:

good that you’re aware.

for the love of god, you’re both adults now. fucking act like it.

enough games.

 

Hajime:

thanks samu.

not just for this but for the lookout.

there's no one else i'd trust him with.

 

Osamu:

as if i could do that to any of you.

like i said, i have my loyalties.

 

Hajime:

which reminds me.

don’t worry, my lips are sealed. 😂

ushijima doesn’t have to know a thing.

 

Osamu:

he better not.

 

Hajime:

HAHAHA

ah shit, i feel really bad.

i'll pay double for the catering.

 

Osamu:

nah, don’t sweat it.

i’m doing that for keiji and tooru.

 

Hajime:

fine, but i owe you one.

Read 11:17 PM

 

Hajime:

none of them really fit your type?

 

Osamu:

unlike you, i make it a habit not to be involved within my brother’s circle.

 

Hajime:

well, i know someone.

 

Osamu:

buzz off. last person i'd ask for relationship advice is you, dumb fuck.

here's suna. we're heading out.

 

Hajime:

hang on, how are you replying?

did he ask to make a stop at 7/11, again?

 

Osamu:

yep.

 

Hajime:

little shit.

tell him to ease up on the convenience store food. 

too much sodium is not good for him.

and to message me when he gets home.

 

Osamu:

yes, dad.

 

Hajime:

hilarious.

thanks for driving him.

 

Osamu:

it was on the way so no problem.

you should be focusing on how you plan to clean that mess your little tantrum caused.

 

Hajime:

don't know what you're talking about.

 

Osamu:

pft, you're not slick.

stick around to help with the dishes my ass.

 

Hajime:

sorry, you're cutting out.

can't hear you.

 

Osamu:

🖕

Read 11:24 PM



✎✐



TWITTER

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

um @cestdoux @californiamakki wru two going???

23:25 28/08/21

satori @cestdoux 6m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

jogging

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 5m

Replying to @cestdoux

this LATE????

 

takahiro @californiamakki 4m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

gotta burn those extra calories don’t wait up use protection

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 3m

Replying to @californiamakki

WTF DON’T LEAVE ME HERE

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

DON’T U TWO WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR @californiamakki @cestdoux

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

OH STRAIGHT TO HELL TO THE BOTH OF U!!!!!!!!

 

[DRAFTS]

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial

HNGGKEKWKWOWK

23:39 28/08/21

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 3m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

this is so awkward WHY did he have to stay behind when the Last Thing I Wanna See is his FIST PROVOKING FACE

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 2m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

after all the SHIT he pulled i just wanna UPPERCUT him so bad

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 1m

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

sCREW @cestdoux @californiamakki PRAYING A DOBERMAN CHASES THOSE MINXES GRRFKDF

 

ru 🔒 @xtratoorustrial 11s

Replying to @xtratoorustrial

this schmuck is just BEGGING to get Stabbed In The Eye like what r u looking at CHUM 



✎✐



23:42

Saturday, 28 Aug

 

Notification Center:

 

MESSAGES now

BULABOG 👺

(MEME: creepily standing in front of a door)



✎✐



MESSAGES

 

BULABOG 👺

August 28, 11:42 PM

 

Hajime:

(MEME: creepily standing in front of a door)

pardon the intrusion.

 

Tooru:

?

 

Hajime:

may i come in?

Read 11:45 PM

 

Today 11:47 PM

 

Hajime:  

no po? :(

Read 11:47 PM

 

Today 11:49 PM

 

Tooru:

what do u think

 

Hajime:

no po.

 

Tooru:

👍

 

Hajime:

:(

Read 11:51 PM

 

Hajime:

guess i'll just wait out here.

Read 11:53 PM

 

Hajime:

in the cold.

Read 11:55 PM

 

Hajime:

sad and alone.

 

Tooru:

serves u right then

 

Hajime:

oikawaaa

 

Tooru:

iwaizumi

what r u still doing here?

 

Hajime:

on dishwashing duty.

did you forget already? :(

 

Tooru:

i Don't Need your help

go home

 

Hajime:

ru, please?

Read 12:08 AM

 

Today 12:10 AM

 

Tooru:

what else do u want from me

haven’t u ruined enough of my evening?

 

Hajime:

i want to apologize.

for everything i did tonight.

 

Tooru:

lol

u seem to say that a lot these days

starting to think u don't really mean it

 

Hajime:

and i'd understand if you do, honestly.

i've been an asshole.

 

Tooru:

grade-A

 

Hajime:

and some more.

i'm sorry.

Read 12:17 AM

 

Today 12:19 AM

 

Tooru:

oh for CRYING OUT loud

stop that!!!!!

 

Hajime:

stop what?

 

Tooru:

THAT

that kicked puppy look

STOP IT

 

Hajime:

sorry.

 

Tooru:

MERDE

I SAID STOP

SCREW U I'M supposed to be the victim here

 

Hajime:

you are.

it’s why i'm apologizing.

may i, in good faith, beg for your understanding? even for a moment?

Read 12:24 AM

 

Today 12:27 AM

 

Tooru:

fine

Read 12:27 AM

 

Tooru:

well? 

r u gonna start explaining or do i have to start kicking u out w a broom



Hajime:

i was jealous.

 

Tooru:

??

Read 12:29 AM

 

Tooru:

wtf don’t groan at me

 

Hajime:

then don't make me say it.

you're not dense.

 

Tooru:

broom's 3 feet away from me

 

Hajime:

alright, alright.

of samu.

i was jealous.

 

Tooru:

??? whatever OF

 

Hajime:

i don't know.

everything.

getting to spend the entire afternoon with you.

getting picked to be your partner for a dumb game.

having your attention.

making you laugh.

Read 12:37 AM

 

Today 12:38 AM

 

Tooru:

oh

 

Hajime:

yeah.

 

Tooru:

i didn't

know

 

Hajime:

it's okay.

shit's embarrassing to begin with.

Read 12:40 AM

 

Today 12:43 AM

 

Tooru:

how long have u

felt this way?

 

Hajime:

since you told me you had a crush on him back in college.

 

Tooru:

oh my god

that was litrly NOTHING

it was just a happy crush

plus i was only Messing w/ u back then 🙄

 

Hajime:

did mess me up real good, that's for sure.

pretty stupid, huh?

Read 12:46 AM

 

Today 12:48 AM

 

Tooru:

stupid, yes

but not unforgivable

is that why u got so mad?

not just bc i didn't give u a heads up but bc i went to see him?

 

Hajime:

it’s not your fault.

definitely not your responsibility either.

i'm sorry, i was just being petty.

even dragged rin into it.

and i should've checked first if you were okay with us being here.

better yet, i shouldn’t have tried to even the score. that was so so wrong of me.

i'm really really sorry, ru.

Read 12:51 AM

 

Today 12:54 AM

 

Tooru:

ok

 

Hajime:

okay?

 

Tooru:

apology accepted

 

Hajime:

wait, for real?

 

Tooru:

yup

 

Hajime:

SERIOUSLY?

 

Tooru:

do u Not Understand english 🤨

 

Hajime:

you're letting me off the hook that easily?

 

Tooru:

mother mary

what ELSE do u want a certificate????

 

Hajime:

no, just

you don't have to.

you shouldn't.

 

Tooru:

and look like The Villain? no thanks

 

Hajime:

no, shit.

i was

 

Tooru:

yeye

a dick

solar system’s biggest moron

that includes pluto btw

an infant

in a category which veruca salt and draco malfoy are competing in

certified green-eyed monster

 

Hajime:

gee, thanks.

any longer and my head would’ve been rattling the bottom of the barrel under a guillotine.

but i suppose i deserved that.

 

Tooru:

do u wanna be pardoned OR NOT 😃

 

Hajime:

thank you, good judge, for your compassion and charity. 🙏

serious note, i feel terrible.

let me know how to make it up to you? :(

 

Tooru:

again, it's fine

if u don’t quit it w/ the groveling i’m gonna srsly beat ur ass

and um

ig i kinda owe u an apology too

u weren't the only one stirring crap

 

Hajime:

all good.

we cool?

 

Tooru:

🙄

do i have any other choice

 

Hajime:

never say die, parole officer.

just for clarification though.

you still uh

 

Tooru:

?

 

Hajime:

you know

 

Tooru:

no, i Don't

 

Hajime:

you still have it?

 

Tooru:

????

have what

 

Hajime:

the thing.

 

Tooru:

😃

i swear this foot is going to be in places u won’t want them 2 be and i promise u it will HURT

 

Hajime:

you know.

a crush on him?

Read 1:11 AM

 

Today 1:13 AM

 

Tooru:

OH MY GOD

 

Hajime:

just making sure.

 

Tooru:

i’m not doing this

 

Hajime:

perfectly fine if you don’t want to answer.

but if you do, that'd be rad too.

 

Tooru:

ONE

 

Hajime:

aight, will drop it po haha

Read 1:17 AM

 

Hajime:

but say, theoretically

if you were to measure it by percentage

Read 1:21 AM

 

Hajime:

gotcha.

just asking, boss. no need to end tonight in aggression.

you know my mom always said, “hajime, there are healthier channels to express your emotions than throwing your possessions.” 😌

sweet throw, by the way. your aim’s better than ever.

 

Tooru:

since u’re feeling adequately cured of your woes to be this insolently chatty 

FEEL FREE to start on what u’re here for

 

Hajime:

wait, you’re not going to help me?

 

Tooru:

um, U Volunteered???

suffer ✌️

 

Hajime:

what about you? what will you be doing?

 

Tooru:

finishing up the program

 

Hajime:

i can help.

 

Tooru:

ahuh no

last person i'd need help from would be the REASON why it's Not Done in the first place

 

Hajime:

come on, work with me here.

at least let me slave away for my redemption :(

 

Tooru:

UGH

if u really wanna help u can

start compiling a playlist

 

Hajime:

roger that.

mind if i play it out loud? listen to it together?

Read 1:19 AM

 

Today 1:22 AM

 

Tooru:

whatever

BUT ABSOLUTELY NO RAP MUSIC

if i have to hear ONE MORE tupac song

it's the broom & the exit for u 😠

 

Hajime:

aye aye, cap 😂

Read 1:23 AM



✎✐

 

SPOTIFY

 

Now Playing: Panalangin – Apo Hiking Society



✎✐



August 28, 2021

1:24 AM

 

Trumpet music permeates the tranquility of the room, reverberating against the walls and curling around his ears like delicate wispy tendrils. The beat engulfs Tooruin petrifying nostalgia, causing his lungs to constrict the way they do when you arrive home after being absent for so long.

What impeccable timing.

Movement ceases and the pulse, beating in his throat, is keeping his head in place. He’s almost too terrified to heft it up and the weight of those green eyes transfixed on him is not making it any more facile.

Tooru leisurely lets his own drift to the opposite side of the coffee table, pausing from bouts of apprehension, and it comes to rest on the startling adoration on Hajime’s face. Self-consciously straightening and veering his gaze to another direction, he fiddles with the first thing his hands grab on.

Ho-kay, Tooru. Calm the shit down. It’s just a stupid song. It’s just a stupid song. It’s just—

“Fancy a dance?”

Tooru jolts in his seat, windmilling his arms into a defensive pose (of a martial art that he’s certain must exist somewhere). He stares at the offered hand then at the empty spot across him while Hajime regards the stance, entertained. When did he get there?! 

He slowly lowers his limbs and scooches away. “Why?”

Instead of answering, Hajime’s fingers twitch once, as if beckoning him to just go along with it. Tooru mulls over his options. There are still a number of things he has delegated himself to accomplish before the night ends and most importantly, he’s still in the process of reorientation after all that transpired just half an hour ago.

This man is a harbinger of nothing but mayhem. 

The logical person would politely—or at the very least, not unkindly (because when has these two ever been the most courteous to each other?) decline and regroup, keep their guard up. Except, the expectant lift of Hajime’s eyebrows, which is a country mile from the aggravated furrow he’s been sporting since Tooru first opened the door to them, is thoroughly disarming. So, the defiance melts away and Tooru caves, slotting his hand into Hajime’s.

“Not one word.”

Hajime mimics a zipping motion over his mouth, victorious grin not tapering, and pulls him up toward the center of the room, where the couches have been pushed aside and made vacant for the previous game.

Tooru allows himself to be piloted, his hand guided to perch atop a broad shoulder while the other, laying idle at his side, picked up in a loose grasp mid-air. Hajime doesn’t peel his stare from him as he situates his own on the small of Tooru’s back, touch, featherlight but effectively burning through the thick material of his shirt. 

They start little, tentative rocking steps to the side and acclimating themselves with each other’s rhythm. Tooru’s palm is coated with a thin film of sweat and he itches to snatch it for a quick wipe on his pajama pants but Hajime keeps a secure clutch. Jazz fills in the fretful silence between them.

It’s probably more awkward to be this non-verbal. Tooru peers at his partner, whose brows are once again adorably rumpled in concentration. Small talk is a cardinal element of social etiquette.

“You're not stepping on my feet,” Tooru comments, sincerely surprised for the most part and teasing for the rest.

Hajime huffs a laugh, all parts relieved and sheepish. “You have zero faith in me.”

And oh, Tooru recognizes, he’s nervous, like a schoolboy with a dire need to impress a puppy love.

The thought warms his chest with endearment and the tension trickles out of his muscles. “I have zero faith in your coordination for performing arts.” Tooru strokes a coaxing thumb against a tanned neck and assesses their feet. “But footwork's improved. No bleeding toes this time around.”

It works like a charm, seeing as Hajime visibly relaxes under the soothing touch and casual tone. His hand presses more steadily against the bend of his partner’s spine, and he grins. “Well, my teacher was a lot nicer than you.”

Almond eyes that couple with a smooth giggle every time a blunder is committed crop up in Tooru’s imagination. “You two must get along really well.”

The bitterness in his tone causes Hajime to frown at him, confusedly.

“Suna,” Tooru mumbles.

Emerald pools ripple with mirth and Tooru squints at Hajime when a noise suspiciously sounding like stifled laughter spurts out from the back of his throat. “Mom was a patient but ruthless practice partner. Practically forced me for a charity gala three Christmases ago.”

Oh. “Oh.”

Hajime ribs, nipping his side. “Who’s the green-eyed monster now?”

Tooru makes a face at him. “The only thing I’d be jealous about is his unwavering patience to cope with your...” His sight roves over his partner from head-to-toe and he crinkles his nose. “Individuality.” Hajime rolls his eyes while the polemic carries on. “Unless my laxity proves to be entrenched in pure conjecture. Speaking of, I haven’t laid a critical eye on those rings. Better pray he doesn’t even come close to having half of your abysmal taste—”

The words die on his tongue when unceremoniously, the ground disappears beneath Tooru's feet and a rush of air floods his lungs in daunt. Hajime, whose arm has wreathed around Tooru’s middle and eyes leveled on something on the floor, hoists him up with complete ease before depositing him a generous distance from the original site. “Sorry, paper.”

The warmth of Hajime’s front and his minty sea salt musk deluge Tooru’s senses, the display of strength leaving him out of breath and heart somersaulting in his chest. And the inferno he’s grown to be in most intimate terms with, incapacitating and all-devouring, seizes him by the throat before upending him into its mortal embrace.

Hajime turns back to Tooru after inspecting the stray scraps of paper over his shoulder and blinks at the astounded expression aimed at him. He is granted a front row view of the blush that blooms on those slightly freckled cheeks until doe eyes that have grown to the size of twin saucers break out of their stupor.

A punch lands on his shoulder. “Don’t do that!”

The ruck that has formed on Hajime's forehead smooths out as it strikes him and a wolfish grin tugs at the corner of his mouth when he looks to the side. Tooru knows best not to question it lest he gets rained upon by ridicule so they spend the next several seconds, swaying wordlessly.

But just as the second chorus rolls around and Tooru’s nerves are calming down, he is suspended in the air for a second time. 

He squeals, hands finding purchase on broad shoulders, while they spin much longer this time. Hajime conceals a smile against a collarbone as he tightens his grip around Tooru’s frame, self-indulgently. When he plants the taller man back on the deck, his eyes are wickedly twinkling in the artificial fluorescence. “Bad flooring.”

Tooru glares at him in repudiation. Sure it was.

The song fades to an end but they keep swaying, content in their own languorous tempo. Soft piano tones percolate in the small space when the next track begins, accompanying percussion thrumming to the beats of their hearts.



✎✐



SPOTIFY

 

Now Playing: Dandelions – Ruth B



✎✐



“Thank you.”

Hajime flattens a hand along the circumference of Tooru’s waist. “For what?”

“For bearing with me,” Tooru finds himself divulging. “I know I can be… importunate.” Hajime only gives him a look for his word choice. “Ugh, fine. Demanding.”

“Still not the word I’d use. Tyrannical, now that—Ow!” Hajime yowls when Tooru pinches him hard on the arm. “Kidding!” he placates, which earns him an eye roll. “A little.” Tooru draws back to hit him again, but Hajime is already locking the hand on his shoulder by the wrist. “Alright, alright. Last tease, I promise.”

Tooru huffs, letting it slide. “In all seriousness, thank you. I wouldn’t have survived these past weeks without the back up.” Hajime softens, about to voice his own appreciation, but— “Although your functionality crests at being a monetary resource because let’s face it, you offer the worst moral support.”

Barking a laugh, Hajime flicks him on the forehead. “Well, thank you for charging for free. Real budget saver.”

Tooru pouts, rubbing the spot before sticking out his tongue. “And service of finest caliber too.”

False contemplation riddles Hajime’s features. “Jury’s out.”

The normalcy of it all fills Tooru with quiet elation. Dancing like this again feels surreal for the both of them. Albeit, parts of them are merely reacquainting and they still fit together like a key to its lock or books in shelves, there’s a novel feeling to the manner they keep pace with each other’s steps, as if mapping uncharted terrain. How can something feel so familiar and different at the same time?

Tooru squeezes the hand holding his. “We make a pretty decent team.”

Hajime’s arm girdles him firmer until their bodies are a hair's width apart. “That, we do.”

The proximity, dim lighting, and dulcet music blunt the banter to tacit praise. They smile at each other while gliding across the tile in a circle like children sharing a secret and they marvel at how far they’ve managed to come from vindictive intimidation in a restaurant to solemn moments like this.

“So, are these all the ‘skills’ you’ve been bragging about,” Tooru chaffs. “Pity, you really ought to sell yourself shorter.”

Hajime rises to the bait. “That so?”

Before Tooru could heed the warning, Hajime lets go of his trunk to fully take the lead and twirl him. Tooru’s feet move seemingly of their own accord while Hajime extends their arms, conjoined by the hand, and twirls him again to the other side. Limbs outstretched in a line, he yanks at Tooru to swivel towards him, arm routinely enfolding the latter to his front.

Tooru peeks over his shoulder only to be greeted by Hajime’s wink before being spun out of the embrace and tugged back to their original position.

Bewildered and breathless, with a scarlet hue high on his cheeks, Tooru gapes. “You…” Keep strong, little heart. He could see the preening in Hajime’s eyes and Tooru swells with the vexed urge to wipe that off. “Six. Out of ten.”

“Pretty sure it’s at least a solid eight.”

“You’re delusional.”

Hajime chuckles. “Okay, let me build up on extra credit then.”

Extra what? 

Tooru doesn’t get to ask what he meant because Hajime is already caging him with one arm and pressing them flush together. He dips his head down to the cliff of his partner’s shoulder and pauses a millimeter away. Tooru’s breath hitches while Hajime’s benignly blows against the ridge. Despite the fabric barrier, Tooru swears he could feel it caress the core of his bones. 

Hajime tilts his head a little, as though seeking permission to resume whatever it is he intends to contrive that will most definitely corner Tooru’s sanity to the edge or granting him the chance to pull away. However, Tooru’s answer comes in the form of still anticipation and his fingers digging into the flesh of the other’s shoulder.

Hajime's mouth arcs into a smirk before sinking further down and painstakingly making contact. Tooru’s eyes flutter shut at the mild pressure, stomach performing fucking gymnastics throughout the moment that lengthens to a sixth of a minute. When Hajime unlatches from the shoulder bone, Tooru wholly expects him to have achieved his objective but much to his bewilderment, he feels those lips move.

They coast along a parallel stripe above his clavicle, grazing every inch with a ghost of a fleeting kiss until they reach the juncture of his neck and Hajime hesitates, sighing a hot breath against the exposed skin. Shivers rack up Tooru's spine and his head involuntarily cants to the side. A gentle peck alights, working up the slope of his neck and leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

The torture culminates behind his ear. Hajime noses the shell then presses one last kiss on his mastoid, breathing in the scent of vanilla. Tooru shakily exhales at the reverence of the act and he anchors himself to reality with a grip on the older’s shoulder blade. 

When Hajime recedes, there’s a devilishly smug look on his handsome face and oh, Tooru has never wanted to clock him on the jaw more than he does now. If this contemptible fool thinks he can one-up me, Tooru plots, as he supports himself on wobbling knees. Then, he’s got another thing coming.

Mustering all the remaining stability he could, he derides, “Cute.”

Hajime raises a brow but just like he did with Tooru earlier, the latter doesn’t give him the opportunity to react. Nimble fingers jerk a creased collar forward and Tooru leans in to slide his nose side-by-side with Hajime's.

Forest greens widen before dropping to pink lips and glazing over darkly. Hajime licks his own mouth as Tooru pants in the miniscule distance between them. They stay in place for an agonizing moment, pushing and pulling but never quite meeting.

Then, Tooru draws back and Hajime chases after him. Thick brows knit together before noticing the pleased curve of the lips he’d been magnetized to. 

Checkmate.

Hajime pokes the inside of a cheek with his tongue—a tic he does either in annoyance or jocose disgruntlement at being outclevered. “You are a detriment to my health.” He groans, resting his forehead on Tooru’s shoulder at the inglorious defeat. “Shittykawa.”

Glee gushes out of Tooru in a fit of laughter and Hajime’s world shrinks to its melody. Just for that night, they let it be.