Chapter Text
The summer was starting to go in full swing and everyone around him was happy, talking about what there will do in the summer hollidays with there family or friends. But he only felt dread, thinking about seeing his so called ‘family‘ again after the long first school year, where he found friends for the first time and had fun just being his eleventh old self. Why can’t be the school year be longer—with more adventures, more things to learn, more time with people he actually like and who like him.
So why, why does he need to return back to them, why can’t he just stay in school, he’s sure there would be a way or maybe just anywhere else then back to them.
It was just so unfair and it made him only feel worse, knowing that he doesn’t appreciate his family and even feeling scared to go back, when the other kids even celebrate or cry of happiness, seeing there family again—does no one understand him?
Thinking abut it, it was illogical to feel scared of his family when he even won against a troll and Voldemord, or whatever that thing was on professor Quirrell head. He doesn’t remember what happen exactly when Quirrrell touched him, but it didn’t fell like his merit, more like he was controlled by something—not something bad, it felt like a warm hug or he things so, he wasn’t hugged before, how he wished to be hugged by someone warm and kind.
He was thrown back from his thoughts as Hermione said there arrived, beaming almost happily before she looked a bit thoughtfully at Harry but before she could ask what’s wrong she saw her parents through the window of the express and she jumped up getting her things and disappeaing into the forming crowd on the platform. Harry was already back to being miserable looking after Hermione.
Trying to not let it show he smiled at Ron who starred confused after Hermione and shrugged his shoulder.
Harry got his suitcase that definitely is not falling apart and Hedwig the only companion he will have over the summer holidays.
*
Plattform 9¾, it looked the same. Joyfull people everywhere, children hugging there Parents and him—he was alone looking around till he was pulled outof nowhere into a hug, confusing Harry and making him tense up, till he realised it was Ron’s mother, Molly Weasley. And he Hugged her back hoping it wasn’t shown that he was confused.
Harry closed his eyes trying to relax as he smiled up at the woman. The hug was warm and he just wanted it to go one forever, till she let go and a hollow feeling started to grow in his chest, filling with a strange emotion—was this jealousy? Why, he doesn’t fell jealous and of what would he be jealousy of? That Ron has a family that hugs him, that’s shows his love? He didn’t had time to dwell on it as Molly asked him something.
“Can you please repeat what you said miss Weasley?“ Harry looked up at her, feeling bad for not being in the moment and having overheard her.
Molly just smiled and shakes her head. “I said it’s wonderful to see you again and I hope you and Ron had a fantastic year in hogwarts.“
Harry nodded and Ron hung his arm over him before he was able to answer he question himself, making him a bit annoyed. “It was really fun mom. You should have seen how i defeated a troll!“
Molly blinked at her youngest son. “Troll? What do you mean Ronald.“ Ron looked even more sheepish, ruffling his own hair. “Did i say Troll? I mean…“
Thankfully Ron was stopped as the rest of the Weasley arrived and Ron said goodbye to Harry after more hugs and conversation Harry didn’t catch most of.
Harry looked after Ron, the words from his friends still bounce around hs head. *…how I defeated the troll.* He? Ron would never had a change if it wasn’t for him, jumping on the beast!
Harry sighted losing up his finger, feeling them claw into his hands, nails feeling sharper than usual but as he looked at them there where round and not sharp at all and the inside of his hand felt fine too.
Shrugging his shoulders he left the Platform, emerging into the real London.
Outside of King’s Kross his eyes landed on his uncles car and he goes over to it seeing Vernon gripping the steering wheel and Harry had the feeling something had happened at the house, ignoring it for now he puts his suitcase in the boot, placing Hedwig gently next to it, the owl thankfully didn’t make a sound as he closed the boot door and sittingdown in the back seat behind the passengers seat, so that he could see his uncle when he looks over but for now he just stares out of the window as the drive begins.
Harry doesn’t know if he should be thankful of the silent or not, but it gave him time to rest at least a bit before arriving.
After a hour the car stopped at 4 Privet Drive and Harry got out of the car, looking at Vernon who looked even more annoyed and not pleased a all of what he will say. “You will get Dudley’s old room on the second floor.“
Harry blinked confused but didn’t questioned it, not wanting to go back into the room beneath the stairs.
*
Sighting Harry lets himself fall on his new bed and he holds up his hand, like he could reach the stars when he just grips high enough. “What do you think Hedwig, what changed there minds?“ Hedwig just hoots like she answered with ‘I don’t know’ and Harry hummed, pulling his hand done again. “Thought so too.“ The owl just tilts her head waving with her wings, trying to share the human up and Harry smiled sitting up and stroking the snow owls soft feathers, already feeling better and who knows maybe his friends will write him in the holidays.
Harry sights as he moved to lay on the bed more comfortable, just wanting to close his eyes for a second—forgetting the world around him, to just fell safe for once in this place. The quit didn’t last, he could hear a glass shatter from downstairs, he knew he shouldn’t go looking, just stay in the room before uncle Vernon gets angry at him and he wont get nothing to eat.
It wouldn’t be the first time that he had nothing to eat. Harry closed his eyes breathing in and out, trying to not think about the memories and it worked, partly. Atleast enough that his curiosity won and he stood up, petting Hedwig who mate herself comfortable on his pillow and he left the room going downstairs.
He hide behind the door as he heard a calm strange voice. He’s sure he never heard the voice before and still it felt familiar, but looking was not a option and from the point he’s standing he only could see the mans back and Petunia looking scared.
Harry blinked he never saw his aunt scared before and something in him purred at the satisfaction it gave him. He shook his head concentrating on the conversation, the voices emerging from the fog in his own head. “I’m sure Petunia we can come to a agreement it is the best fo…“
He really should stop to lose himself in his own mind so often, at least Hermione always said that, something about his head being always up in the clouds but that wasn’t true he doesn’t always loses himself in his thoughts. Wait—shit he did it again.
He saw he stranger turn around and Harry only catches a shimmer of blond hair before he runs back to his room not wanting to be found stalking around.
Harry was panicking running up the stairs that he run against the small commode at the top, almost knocking over the expensive diamond glass vase. But lucky he just catches it in time and he sights relieved to have escaped the nightmare that this could have become.
Back in his room he slights down the door hugging his knees.
Who was this stranger and why was Petunia scared, what where there talking about? Harry gripped his hair, if he just wasn’t so stupid to let himself sink into his thoughts he would have now the answers to his questions. Fuck! Why was he always so stupid. He pulled at his hair till Hedwig bumps her head against his, hooting. Harry let go of his hair breathing normally again after he felt his pulse speeded up from the panic.
“Thank you… What would i do without you.“ Harry smiled at Hedwig stroking her feathers again, hugging her, Hedwig made another sound pumping him again, answering Harry’s question silently. And Harry laughed smiling again leaning his head against the door.
Who knows maybe the man was the one to thank for, that he now has this room. Maybe a wizard too, just like him, that would explain the feeling he had, of feeling safe, being seen for who he truly is. It almost felt the same with the situation as he killed Quirrell, at least he thinks he killed him, as no one wants to tell him what happened after he got knocked out at the moment his professor touched him.
Harry yawns stretching and chuckles as Hedwig made a disapproving sound again having tried to get his attention. Harry apologised with a small treat he still had in his pocked and stood up. Frowning as his legs felt numb but he didn’t sat that long, looking at the clock he blinked, it was almost 12 o’clock and he’s sure he got down the stairs only 5 minutes—but the clock says it was almost a hour ago, how did he sit so long on the ground without noticing, is this why Hedwig got worried?
Looking at the owl who’s still starring at him, he frowns ignoring the strange felling of time. It probably was nothing.
Instead he pulled off his clothes as he got to the wardrobe, putting on his pyjama and he laid down on the bed, closing his eyes and trying to sleep. Something that should have been easy but he turns around trying to find a more comfortable position, to just turn around again as he thought about Hogwarts, how badly he wants to go back there and not spend the summer in this house. The magic he learned and how much more he wants to know to understand. Maybe even finding out more about his parents from Hagrid.