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Sakura has been hungry for as long as he can remember.
It gnaws at his stomach, the perpetual aching emptiness, the craving for something he can’t have. He learned the hard way not to bother asking humans for their blood, in the days after he was first turned. When he was shunned by everyone in town—shunned by his own family—kicked out and abandoned, left to fend for himself and spend eternity starving.
In the early days, he fought back. Took blood from those who had wronged him in revenge.
But it’s been a long time, and those who turned their backs on him are all gone now. He’s moved far away from the bones of that town, and he doesn’t want to give the people here any reason to hate him, so he goes without necessary sustenance instead. He finds animals in the woods, drains blood from birds and tanuki, or a deer if he’s lucky. And it’s not the same as human blood—not nearly as filling, no matter how much he drinks—but it’s enough. It staves off the worst of the cravings.
Still, he finds himself eyeing the bare necks and wrists of the people around him. It would be so easy to sink his fangs into the tender flesh and finally finally drink his fill. It would be so easy to act like the monster he is, to show everyone here exactly why he has never known friendship.
How can you befriend something that will always want to tear you apart?
“Sakura-san!”
Sakura pauses, turning to see Nirei rushing towards him, grinning widely and waving his arms in the air. Despite himself, Sakura feels a smile of his own tugging at his lips. It’s hard not to feed off of Nirei’s optimistic energy, and whenever he’s near, Sakura finds his other woes slipping from his mind.
Somehow, the hunger isn’t as all-consuming when he’s with Nirei.
“Hey,” Nirei comes to a stop beside him, panting. “If you’re free, I could use some help. Shuzenji-san asked me to pick up some groceries, but I’m not sure I can carry everything on my own.” He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly.
“Sure,” Sakura agrees. The people in this town have been nice to him, though they don’t yet know the truth of what he is, and he would like to stay in their good graces. He’s so tired of running from place to place, searching for acceptance he will never find. Even if the peace here is fleeting and conditional, for now, it’s enough to pretend it could last.
And here, he has people he could even call friends.
(Here, he has Nirei.)
With the two of them working together, it doesn’t take long to find everything on Shuzenji-san’s grocery list and carry it all back to her home. She thanks them graciously, shoving freshly-baked cookies into their hands as an expression of her gratitude, too insistent for Sakura to politely turn her down. He could eat the cookies, but it wouldn’t do anything for him, and sometimes eating food only serves to remind him how hungry he is for blood.
So, once they’re back outside, Sakura hands his container of cookies to Nirei. “You can have these,” he says carelessly. “I don’t like chocolate chips.”
Nirei stares up at him critically. “Is there any food you do like?”
Sakura freezes. “Um.” His gaze instinctively dips down to Nirei’s throat. He swallows thickly, mouth watering at the thought of the blood coursing through his veins. He imagines it would be sweet. He fantasizes about gorging himself on Nirei, sometimes. When he’s alone, and his hunger is at its worst. He bites into his own hand, closes his eyes, and pretends it’s Nirei’s flesh in his mouth instead of his own.
He pushes the cookies into Nirei’s hands, then turns on his heel and runs.
Two days later, Nirei shows up at Sakura’s apartment unannounced.
He’s pushing his way in as soon as Sakura has cracked the door open, rambling about something, which Sakura is having a hard time following. He’s holding his notebook in one hand and a pen in the other, tapping it against the page as he speaks.
Sakura blinks at him, slowly shutting the door. His brain has been a bit fogged lately, due to the lack of nutrients. He’s reaching his limit on how long he can remain functional without blood of any sort. He should have gone searching for a wild animal of some sort last night, but he was out late helping Umemiya, and then Umemiya insisted on walking him home to ensure he made it back safely, and Sakura couldn’t very well leave his apartment again after that. It was too risky.
“So basically,” Nirei says, once Sakura’s mind finally catches up with what’s happening and decides to tune in on the words the other is saying. He looks up from his notebook, locks eyes with Sakura and asks, “Are you a vampire?”
Sakura means to deny it, but instead, what comes out of his mouth is, “Fuck.”
“I knew it!” Nirei exclaims.
“No, I—”
“I have tons of questions,” Nirei barrels on. “Like, what’s your sun tolerance? I know you get burnt really easily, but is there a specific limit to how much sun you can handle before something bad happens? Would you actually catch on fire? And what about garlic? Actually—I’ve never seen you eat any food before. Is that because you can’t, or you just don’t want to? How do you get blood? Do you drink human blood, or animal blood? How much do you need to live? Also…” Nirei trails off, tilting his head. “Uh, Sakura-san? Are you okay?”
No, Sakura thinks. Because this is the part where he gets shunned and thrown out of town, or hunted with weapons of silver. This is the part where he has no choice but to run. With his secret discovered, he won’t be allowed to stay. This is how it always goes.
So why is Nirei still here?
“I’m fine,” he bites out, turning away. “Don’t bother with the manhunt. I’ll leave on my own.”
“Huh? Wait—” Nirei lunges for him, hand wrapping around his arm, and even when Sakura tries to shake him off, he doesn’t let go. “I’m not gonna tell anyone! You don’t have to answer my questions either; I’m just curious.”
Nirei’s expression betrays no signs of dishonesty. He’s still clinging to Sakura’s arm, grip tight, like he’s desperate to keep Sakura near him. He’s not running away in fear or throwing false accusations at him. The look in his eyes pricks uncomfortably at Sakura’s skin—it’s not something he knows the name of, because it’s not something he can ever recall seeing before.
“What?” he growls. “Yes, I’m a monster. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
Nirei shakes his head. “You’re not a monster, Sakura-san.”
It sounds honey-sweet, but Sakura knows better than to be fooled by a sugary coating. So he kicks Nirei out of his apartment and pretends the hollowness that follows isn’t just as painful as the emptiness in his stomach.
Unfortunately, Nirei has never been so easily defeated.
He’s stubborn to a fault, refusing to back down even when it’s clear he can’t win, so it really shouldn’t surprise Sakura to find him standing on the sidewalk outside of his apartment building come nightfall. He’s alone—not even Suo at his side for protection—which instantly strikes Sakura as odd. Is someone else hiding in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to pounce? Is he being lured into a trap?
He narrows his eyes at Nirei, lingering by the stairs. “What do you want.”
“To talk to you?” Nirei tries.
“Why.”
“Um…because we’re friends?” Nirei’s shoulders slump. “Look, okay, I know I probably shouldn’t have pried and you’re entitled to your secrets, but I was just so curious! I’ve never met a— I’ve never met someone like you before. And I’ve done a ton of research, but there’s so much conflicting lore, so I thought it would be nice to finally get some solid answers!”
“I’m not a science project.”
“You don’t have to answer them if you don’t want to!”
That gives Sakura pause. Everyone who has known the truth about him has wanted him dead, gone, or locked up in a lab to study. “I don’t?”
Nirei shakes his head furiously. “Just as long as we can still be friends! And—” Nirei steps closer, craning his neck to look up at Sakura critically. “You do have to tell me if you’ve been getting enough nutrients.”
Sakura barks out a laugh.
“Okay, change of plans,” Nirei says decisively. He takes links his arm with Sakura’s, dragging him back up to his apartment. Sakura protests, but Nirei firmly ignores him, tugging him through the door and shutting it behind them. He drops Sakura’s arm once they’re both inside, then shrugs his jacket off and tosses it over a chair.
Sakura stares at the discarded garment. “What?”
“You need blood, right?” Nirei asks.
Hesitantly, Sakura nods. If Nirei has been researching vampires, he should know that. It’s the one thing that everyone gets right—and the reason Sakura kept this secret so close. It might seem cool in fiction, but the minute someone is presented with the prospect of a human-like being who thirsts for blood in real life, everyone instantly changes their minds.
“Alright, then.” Nirei nods. “You can have some of mine, then!”
“Huh?”
“Is it easiest to drink from the neck? Or would you prefer my wrist. I don’t really mind either way—”
“Stop,” Sakura interrupts, because he’s pretty sure he missed something here. “Wait. No, I’m not— I don’t need your blood; I’m fine with the blood of animals.”
“But it’s not as good, is it?”
Sakura falls silent. He looks away. “Nirei-kun…” he mumbles.
“Yeah?”
He risks a glance back at him. Eager eyes and a hopeful smile, far too kind and sweet for his own good. He’s like no one else Sakura has ever met before, and Sakura is loath to put himself in any sort of situation where he might hurt him.
He turns his gaze towards the ground. “I’m afraid if I get a taste your blood, I won’t be able to stop myself from draining everything you have.”
“You won’t do that,” Nirei argues.
“How do you know?”
“Because I trust you not to hurt me.”
Seated on the floor of Sakura’s bedroom, he brings Nirei’s wrist to his mouth. Nirei doesn’t flinch as the fangs pierce his skin, instead watching Sakura in rapt awe as he begins sucking blood from the puncture wounds. Nirei’s flesh is warm, and his blood is even more delectable than Sakura had dared to imagine. It floods his senses, coppery and hot, like syrup on his tongue.
He groans in delight as he drinks, his body finally getting the necessary nutrients that it has been starved of for decades. Animal blood is enough to sustain Sakura, but human blood is what allows him the full energy to truly live—well, as much as an undead being can live, anyway.
He slurps, messy, a pleasant hum echoing through his body at the life pouring through it. He takes more than he should, but he can’t stop himself, and Nirei doesn’t push him away. He could keep going forever, truly devouring everything Nirei could offer him, and still not be satisfied. He could swallow Nirei whole and it would not be enough.
Finally, Nirei mumbles, “Sakura-san…” and Sakura is pulled from his stupor. He looks up, finding Nirei’s face pale, though with flushed cheeks and a hunger of his own glinting in his eyes. Sakura can feel the blood still staining the corners of his mouth, and he imagines he must look like a rabid beast with the way he’s panting and clinging to Nirei’s arm.
But Nirei doesn’t run.
He doesn’t even look scared.
Sakura leans in, then stops, abruptly. It takes every ounce of self-control left in him to hold himself back, knowing he has already taken more than enough from Nirei for one night. But he wants more, more, more—
He looks to Nirei’s lips.
Nirei meets him halfway.
Sakura bites when he kisses, but Nirei doesn’t complain. He doesn’t seem to mind the fangs, or the blood in his mouth, or the way Sakura grips him tightly as if his life depends on it. Nirei sinks into him, kissing back with a ferocity Sakura hadn’t expected, arms wrapping around Sakura’s neck to hold him close.
And for the first time in perhaps a century, the perpetual hunger eating away at Sakura has been quelled. He didn’t drink enough blood to make up for all the time he spent starved, but for the moment, with Nirei’s lips on his and his blood settling warmly in Sakura’s stomach, he’s starting to remember what it feels like to be full.