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This was not what he’d imagined would happen when he’d run from the smoke and fire of the burning of the Cloud Recesses.
What he’d expected was having to lick his own wounds clean, figure out some way to get robes to disguise himself and hope he’d be able to get a face covering or perhaps some makeup to ensure that no one would recognize him on the chance that the Wens would be patrolling the area, or if others would alert them to his presence.
He was not ignorant, they would not just let him go, especially with the texts he had on his person. All he could do was hide away, but the guilt would eat him alive, having left behind his father, clansmen, even his brother and uncle. It was his uncle who had pushed him to leave, but even so, his chest ached to know he was still not strong enough to shield them all.
However, that is not how his current situation is panning out, outside of the aching, of course. He sits on a worn bench in a small and dilapidated house, one of his legs currently propped up in the lap of the man kneeling in front of him, as he gently wraps some scraps of fabric around the aching ankle.
The man, Meng Yao, was like the rays of the sun slipping out from behind heavy clouds of rain, he was like a small glimmer of salvation in the bleak world that Lan Xichen had found himself in.
Meeting the man was a blessing that Lan Xichen could never have even dreamed of. If this chance encounter could only be given to him through the loss of his home, well, he would only hope that in another lifetime the suffering wouldn’t be as bad as this one.
And hopefully it wouldn’t be nearly as embarrassing either. . .
When he’d stumbled into the seemingly abandoned courtyard of the home, he’d promptly collapsed into one of the dying bushes in the garden, too worn out to attempt to secure the premises or find anywhere safer, he simply hoped that no one would find him.
His lungs had burned so viciously that he’d wondered if vines had wrapped their way through the gaps of his ribs and decided to take root in squeezing out any air he dared to steal for himself, the taste of smoke and blood still sharp on his tongue. Clutching his chest, he did his best to regulate his breathing, trying to ignore the pains that bloomed across his body. If he could regain his calm, he could begin qi circulation to heal the minor injuries quickly and then focus on the more serious ones, allowing him to find a less embarrassing hiding place…
If only the flames did not roar in his mind, did not flash behind his closed lids…
“Gongzi…?”A soft voice had whispered by his side, and his eyes snapped wide open. His hand rushed for Shuoyue, but when his eyes fell on the face of concern that was bent down to observe him, his body seemed to relax, as if he knew the other was true in his worry.
“Gongzi…? This one can tend to your wounds. Are you able to stand on your own?”The man had further asked, dark eyes quickly scanning over him.
It took him a moment to speak, and his voice was harsh in his throat, “I-I can… thank- thank you…”He didn’t even recognize his own voice at the moment, yet he decided to ignore it. Pushing himself up to standing, yet as he placed his foot down to walk with the other, never once taking his eyes off him in case it really were a trap, a shockwave coursed up his leg. He paused in his steps, nearly faltering and falling face-first to the ground.
The other man seemed to be just as observant as he was, for he quickly rushed over, and tentatively held out his arms to catch him, though he did not touch him, “Something is wrong with your leg…”The man whispered, eyes immediately looking down at the offending limb.
“Ah-... I think it isn’t bad, just surprised me…”He responded quietly, yet the man glanced up at him almost nervously as their eyes met before he quickly broke eye contact and lowered his arms slowly.
“Gongzi… you may lean against this one for support while we move into the house… I worry that you may cause further injury if you put more weight on it…”He said.
Something swirled in his chest, heat rising up his neck to briefly touch the tips of his ears. He stared at the other for a moment, not wanting to burden him, nor had the gnawing anxiety fully calmed, but there wasn’t much he could do in the situation. He slowly nodded his head, “If that is alright with you…”He finally conceded.
The man caught his eye once more and nodded quietly before stepping back to his side yet as he wrapped an arm around him, he recoiled as if scalded, eyes going wide, and he quickly folded his arms in a low bow, “Gongzi this one apologizes I did not realize your robes were cut”He quickly apologized as he stared at the ground.
Lan Xichen was surprised as the phantom touch lingered on his side. He hadn’t noticed the tear either, but the reaction was even more surprising, did the man dislike skin contact? He quickly adjusted his robes before gently grabbing the arms to lift him from his bow, “It’s alright… I adjusted them, let’s get inside”He says with a soft smile to reassure the other.
He was met with surprise, and then, like a ray of sunshine, the other shared his smile in return and revealed a pair of dimples. He could have sworn his heart stopped, especially when the other’s hold returned around him and led him inside the worn-down home.
“It’s not much gongzi, but you can sit here for now… I’ll grab my supplies”
His eyes watched the other rummaging through the cupboards, “There isn’t much that can be of use, but I think this will be enough for now…”The other says as he returns to him, slowly kneeling at his feet and placing the tray of supplies by his side.
He watches as the other carefully removes his boot, but as he reaches out for his sock, he pauses once more as if conflicted, his brows furrow as if trying to process how he might go about it.
The heat returned back to Lan Xichen’s ears, he clears his throat, “You can call me Lan Huan…”He suddenly whispers, almost startingly himself at the request, “Gongzi is far too formal…”He adds. Though it felt intimate to give up his given name, he could not give his courtesy name out of fear.
Those dark eyes were once more looking into his with something he could not quite place, “A-Huan…?”The other repeated, and then with a nod, he added, “This one is called Meng Yao…”.
“A-Yao than…”He said in reply, “If A-Yao would prefer not to touch, I can tend to my own wounds”He says.
“Ah- gongzi- A-Huan…”The other breathed out before breaking their eye contact once more, his shoulders seemed to fall. “This one does wish to aid you… But this one must limit how much we touch so as not to contaminate you…”He finally spoke up again, the words much quieter.
“Contaminate me…? A-Yao needn’t worry, I am simply a man like yourself”
For this response, he got a quick shake of his head, “A-Huan is a cultivator of the prestigious Lan’s… this one… this one is the son of a prostitute… it would be inappropriate for his touch to linger on one such as yourself”He says.
That, that wasn’t what he’d expected at all, he remained silent as he processed the words, yet it seems the man took it as him taking insult, for he fell into a sudden kowtow.
“This one apologizes, Gongzi, I should have said this sooner”He says to the ground.
A gasp slipped passed his lips, and he quickly slipped off the bench to hold Meng Yao’s arms, “A-Yao! You don’t need to apologize… it matters not to me, it is I who is the burden to you… Don’t worry yourself over this”He speaks quickly.
Those eyes were back at him again, and he felt he ought to be disciplined as if that gaze was against the precepts… certainly the feelings blooming in him ought to be… he hadn’t ever felt this loss of restraint in quite a while.
“Are you sure?” The other asked tentatively, and he quickly nodded in response.
“Please…”
He watched as the other nodded once more and aided him back onto the bench before returning to his kneeling position.
And so they returned to their places, with his ankle carefully supported as Meng Yao worked to wrap it up.
Maybe it was too soon for him to call Meng Yao his salvation, but as the man worked so tentatively on the rest of his wounds and the anxiety dispersed from his bones, he felt something comforting blooming in him the more he spent in the other’s presence.
–
As the dark of night crept in, they sat at the small table in the main area of the room, finishing up their small meal.
“A-Huan, you can sleep in the bedroom. It isn’t much, but it should be alright until you are healed”The man says quietly, “I’ll clean it up quickly for the night, and tomorrow I’ll organize it to suit your needs”He adds as he slowly rises to his feet.
“Ah- A-Yao I can’t take your room on you…”He says with a small shake of his head.
“This one insists… I- I will sleep out here”
“A-Yao… this is your home, I can’t do that to you…”
The man smiles shyly once more, “It is precisely because it is my home and you are my guest that I must insist”He says, before turning towards the linen closet and reaching in to grab extra blankets, yet as he stretches his arms up Lan Xichen watches in horror as the man flinches back with a hiss, and carefully rubs at his shoulder.
“A-Yao?”
It seemed to startle the other, though they’d barely even finished their initial conversation. He slowly pushed himself up to stand and leaned against the wall for support as he moved over.
“You’re hurt as well”He says, though it earns him a shake of the head.
“Don’t worry about me, it’s nothing…”
“A-Yao please… you have helped me, let me help you in turn”
“A-Huan… A-Huan is too kind…This one is used to dealing with it on his own… thank you”The other whispers to him as he reaches up in his place and grabs the fresh blankets.
He smiles at the other before they move to the bedroom and begin to prepare the bed.
It was small, of course, which wasn’t too surprising given the other’s stature and build, in comparison, he was almost a head taller and slightly larger, but if he didn’t think too hard about it, there was surely enough room on the bed for both of them.
“A-Yao, you are hurt as well. I would not want you sleeping on the cold floor… perhaps we might share the bed instead if it isn’t any trouble for you?”He asks as they finish the last adjustments of fabrics.
“Ah-...”He man speaks up but seems to cut himself off as though he was going to deny his own pains once more, but as their eyes met, he seemed to lose the resolve and instead offered up a small smile, “If it will soothe A-Huan, then I suppose we can… There won’t be much room though…”
“That’s alright, I don’t move much in my sleep”
“Neither do I…”
“Then it should be no trouble for both of us”With that, he carefully began to remove his outer robes. Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched Meng Yao’s hesitation before mirroring his own actions.
“I will get in first…”The other spoke up again, not meeting his gaze, and for the briefest moment, Lan Xichen might have caught a blush on his cheeks, but the other was quick in slipping into the sheets and pressing himself against the wall, leaving him unable to observe any further.
He hummed in response and waited for the other to still before carefully joining him.
Their backs pressed together, and he felt the other try his best to offer up any more room, though it gave no other space. Neither one of them commented on the matter and instead took to falling asleep in the single bed with hearts racing quietly in their chests.