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“You almost missed the start again.”
Her voice feigned mockery, pretending to scold him as soon as he entered the cabin.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” He unclipped his utility belt and threw it on the table. “I thought it would be a good idea to grab us a bite to eat this week, so you didn’t have to endure my cooking.”
She giggled, reaching for the brown paper bag in his hands as he sat down beside her. The volume on the TV was all the way up, and full glasses were sitting on the table in front of them. She grinned as she pulled the takeout from the bag. Chinese, one of her favorites.
“Thank you,” she said. “But your cooking is good, also.”
“I thought friends didn’t lie?” He raised his eyebrows at her, pulling the rice carton out for them to share.
“I’m not!” She may have been. She’d learned the art of the little white lie from Mike and found it to be harmless. Plus, she really did appreciate the time and effort Hopper put into her. As far as she was concerned, he was the best father she could have asked for. Just as she tossed the chicken in with her rice, the show began. El got comfortable as the music blared, the familiar flashes of palm trees and flamingos signaling the beginning of Miami Vice.
“What do you think it’ll be this week? Drugs, or guns?” Hop asked. El took a bite of an egg roll, then tossed it into her bowl.
“Both,” she replied with her mouth full.
The show started off in a flurry of gun shots, drawing their attention immediately. It was violent, not that El thought much of that. Violence was sort of her (and Hopper’s) second language. But even so, the stories and the scenes stuck with her when the episodes were over. They’d play in her mind most often when her dad took too long to reply, or was late coming back from work. There were other dangerous things in the world besides monsters and evil dimensions, and Hopper was there to face it all. The opening scene cut to a quiet, unassuming commercial about shaving cream. Hop laughed, bits of rice and chicken clinging to his beard. El smiled as she looked over at him. When he glanced back at her he chuckled again, moving to hand her a napkin from the bag.
“You’re as bad as I am, kid,” he said. She rolled her eyes and wiped the sauce from her face. Lack of table manners, another quality they seemed to share. They ate silently during the break, but when she finished and the show resumed with more gunshots, El finally turned to him again.
“Is your job like this?” She asked, trying to imagine him hiding behind cars as criminals shot back at him.
“Aside from the trouble we’ve gotten into? No,” he sighed. “Thankfully, Hawkins is pretty safe.”
“What about before?” She asked, recalling when he’d told her a little of his time away from Hawkins, when he worked as a policeman in Chicago.
He studied her closely. He leaned forward and spoke seriously. “No, it was never like it is on TV. But it can be dangerous.” Suddenly he reached over with a napkin again, wiping away something on her cheek. “Lucky for you, your old man is even more dangerous. Don’t worry, El I’m not going anymore any time soon…”
“El?”
Mike’s gentle voice pulled her from the dream. She stirred, turning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. When she finally pulled herself to a sitting position, he was still waiting at the edge of her bed, one hand holding the bedroom door open. She reached for him, gesturing to sit down. He clumsily pushed the door so it would remain open before crawling onto the bed to sit beside her. He slipped his hand into hers and awkwardly kissed her cheek, nearly colliding their heads together as she adjusted herself.
“Good morning,” he spoke again. “Joyce let me in, said you were still sleeping. I wasn’t going to wake you, but…”
“I was doing the thing again?” She rasped. Mike shrugged. Ever since the fourth of July, El had been prone to the occasional nightmare, which lead to sleep talking or other concerning activities. She refused to talk about it, even with Mike. Really, she didn’t think it was a big deal, and usually it meant she could at least see Hopper again. Even if he was maimed or on fire.
“Was it one of the bad ones?” Mike pressed.
“No. It was a good dream.” She twisted to lay her head on his shoulder. “Hop and I, watching Miami Vice together.”
“Oh,” he sighed. “I’m glad, then. Glad it was a good dream, I mean. Sorry I had to wake you.” She smiled into his shoulder.
“It’s okay. Is it nine…fifteen?” She still struggled with her numbers. People switched between spelling each number out, or combining them, and El secretly felt like remembering the reasons for each scenario felt like a chore. But she knew she’d need to get it right eventually if she wanted to fit in at her new school.
“Well, no. It’s 10:30, actually,” Mike replied. She winced. Their last free Saturday together, and she had already squandered an hour by sleeping in. “But it’s okay! I had time to bring you something.”
Mike pointed to the box sitting on the desk next to her door. It had little red fruit filled to the brim, and beside it was a plate of fresh Egoos. She moved to leave the bed and grab breakfast, but he stopped her. “Stay here, I’ll bring it to you – breakfast in bed!”
He gathered the plate and fork and presented it to her. Delicate fresh strawberries topped the waffles, and El hummed as she brought one of them to her lips. “They’re fresh, I picked them with Holly this morning. Apparently the last of the season or whatever.”
“Mmm. Delicious. Thank you, Mike,” she said between bites.
He sat beside her while she ate, offering idle chatter as she savored the fresh fruit with her waffles. She’d never thought to put strawberries on Eggos before and thought Mike a genius for doing so. Outside her window, the sun shown brilliantly even through the faded, smudged panes of Will’s old room. El had stayed with the Byers ever since the night of the mall fire, sleeping at first on the couch, then in Joyce’s bed. After Hopper’s funeral, the boys had agreed to share a room so that El could have her own space. She could hear them now, arguing over dirty laundry across the hall as Joyce tried to mediate. She and Mike shared a smile. It wasn’t easy learning to share a space with three other people, four, if she counted how often Mike came over. The cabin had been small, but Hopper always gave her more than enough room. Here, every day was a lesson in humility as she became accustomed to her new scatter-brained mom and messy brothers.
“I thought maybe, we could get out of the house today,” Mike said, stifling a laugh as dirty socks were tossed outside El’s door. “Once you’re up and ready, we could, I don’t know, walk outside in to see the last of the flowers? I could pack a lunch for us, too.”
“Yes,” she said, feeding him the last strawberry. “I like that idea. Let’s do it.”
———
The late September morning turned out to be warmer than expected, with the occasional breeze to remind El that autumn would soon return to Hawkins. She tried to swallow her bitterness at the thought, hoping instead the mornings could be just as fresh and delightful in California. She and Mike walked in silence for quite some time, fingers intertwined, taking in the song of Summer’s end. Birds called to one another overhead, wind swept through the dried and sunbaked fields behind the Byers’ house, and in the far distance a wind chime could be heard playing its melancholic tune. The weather was perfect, without so much as a cloud in the sky to complain about. When the two of them reached the first summit, El even sighed at the sight of the dancing sunflowers in the field below. But the wind died as they descended looking for a spot to sit, and the weight returned to her heart. How can the sun shine and flowers dance in a world where so much bad had happened?
She could tell Mike could feel it, too. Before the fourth of July had come, she’d thought the two of them needed time apart. Mike had tried to respect this, giving her space when they learned of Hopper’s fate, but in ways she could not articulate, El had only needed him more. After over a year of spending every morning and evening with Hopper, how could she live a life without him? His absence was tangible in a way only she could feel. She would call Mike, only to sit silently on the line while he tried to converse with her. She would beg him to visit, and then not speak when he showed up with flowers, or games, or Eggos. She would cry at the smallest things, get angry and lash out. She would get tired of her adoptive family, slam her door in anger, and then open it again with shameful tears on her face. Joyce, Mike and Will were there through it all, despite their own grief. She did her best to have gratitude for them, even in her worst moments. Of all the miracles she’d been given in her life, she’d never understand what it is she’d done to deserve such extraordinary friends.
She felt that gratitude now, mingled with her grief as she strolled with Mike along a narrow, shaded path. When she did talk, he listened. When she asked questions, he would have an answer. He’d always been a constant source of comfort for her. Now, they were evolving for one another, becoming something new. She squeezed his hand, an involuntary reaction to the long held fear that he, too, would be taken from her.
“Everything alright?” Mike’s voice sounded far away at first. She looked up at him. “Your grip,” he laughed. “It hurts.”
She let go immediately. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “Are we almost there?”
“Yeah, just up ahead actually.” He pointed to a gap in the trees, where a large boulder sat half illuminated by the sun. “If you were tired, we could’ve slowed down. You didn’t need to break my hand,” he teased.
“I am not tired. And I think your hand is just weak.” She flashed him a smile, which he returned with delight.
“Whatever, Superman.”
This seemed to break the tension he was holding. As soon as they sat down atop the boulder, Mike erupted in conversation. He talked of new video games, the drama between his mom Karen and their neighbor, the assigned summer reading for his English class, and the stray cat he saw on his bike ride over this morning. El listened contently as the two of them unpacked their lunch. She pulled out two sodas, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, two bags of chips, a box of strawberries and a tin full of cookies Joyce must have made for them. She reached her hand into their pack to see if she’d missed anything, and her fingers brushed a small box. She pulled it out to examine.
“Oh, that’s for later,” Mike said hastily, grabbing it before she could open the contents. “It’s for you, just not right now. I’ll show it to you after we eat, I promise.”
“Okay,” she agreed.
Picking up a bag of chips instead. They gazed out over the field from their spot. At this time of the day the sunflowers shown bright orange and yellow with many of their faces tipped upward toward the sky. Among them were purple and red wildflowers which sprung up here and there, and El admired their resilience to stick around so long. So many of the flowers had died already in the last heat of the summer, and she wondered if she’d ever be able to see their full vibrance again. Beyond the field were trees similar to the ones that hid her and Hopper’s cabin so well. Her heart twisted to see sprouts of orange and red among the green leaves. She had so looked forward to starting school in the fall with the boys, finally stepping foot into their world as an equal, having a new shared experience together that didn’t involve the end of the world. So much had been taken from her when the Russians opened that new gate. El wasn’t sure if she’d ever forgive them.
“I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it…” Mike started, finally turning serious.
“It’s okay.” El answered, keeping her eyes to the half-eaten sandwich in her lap.
“Are you nervous? For the move, I mean. Because if you are, that’s okay. Normal, even.”
“Not for the move,” she assured him. “That will be fine. But I am nervous for school. I… don’t know what to do there, but, I’m sure Will can help me.”
Mike nodded thoughtfully. “Starting school is scary. I’m nervous, too. High school can be intimidating, but you’re right! Will, and Joyce and Jonathan too, will be there to help. And you can always call and write to me, too.” When she nodded but didn’t respond, he continued. “And your teachers… they’re there to help you too. So don’t be afraid to ask questions, just like you do with us! Mr. Clark always said there’s no such thing as a bad question. Plus, it’s their job to help you learn.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” she felt the tears pressing behind her eyes and fought to hold them back. “I just wish I could stay here, with you, and with everyone else. It’s not fair that the Byers should move because of me,” she picked at a cookie, shaking her head.
Joyce had said a hundred times that she had already planned to move out of Hawkins, that it would be an adventure for all of them, and she’d do whatever it took to make El feel comfortable in their new home. But El couldn’t shake the dread of it all. Everywhere she went, things fell apart.
“I wish you could stay too,” Mike sighed. The boy looked crushed, admitting it out loud. “But you can’t blame yourself for the move. It’s for the best and… we’ll see each other still. For every holiday if we have to. I’ll even get a job once I’m old enough to pay for the plane tickets.”
She laughed, and the sound jolted her out of her misery. Mike wasn’t lying. He never did, not when it came to something like this. Before their fight this summer, everything had been perfect with him, and all was right with the world. Some part of her believed they could get back to that or find a way to grow beyond it. Joyce had taught her that all good things take time, and that distance makes the heart grow fonder. She had to believe it was true, even if the thought of leaving him overwhelmed her. Maybe the love she and Mike shared would get stronger, mature, and blossom into something unstoppable. If they could make it through this difficult step, with everything else that they’d been through, then surely, El, thought, they could make it through anything.
“You’re right,” she said at last. “Still, I will miss you, Mike. So much.”
“I’ll miss you too, El.”
“I will think of you always, just like before, when we couldn’t see each other.” Her voice shook a little as she spoke. Mike moved so they were only a few inches apart.
“Nothing can keep us apart for long,” he whispered. “And I’ll always be thinking of you too, EL. I promise.”
She leaned closer to him, and he closed the gap, kissing her softly on the lips. She could taste the strawberry on his lips and half smiled into him, placing her hands on either side of his cheeks. Leaning into him on the rock, she moved the remains of their lunch to the side, placing the trash back into their bag so they could have more room. After several more kisses, she laid her head against his shoulder and returned to looking out over the sea of flowers. This was, and had always been, her happy place. Neither she, nor Mike were perfect, but they were perfect together, as if their hands were built to hold one another. Like their souls would find each other in any universe. His steadfast courage in the face of any problem always gave her the strength to keep going. Would she still be strong, with him remaining in Hawkins while she moved away? Her intuition told her yes, but she knew nothing in life was certain. Not anymore.
“El?” Mike was peering down at her. She shifted to look up at him through heavy eye lids.
“Yes?”
“Do you want your present now?” He pulled the small box out of his pocket.
She’d almost forgotten. “Oh,” she twisted away from him a bit to sit up. “Yes. Please.” She held out her hands, a grin starting to spread across her face.
“Here, like this,” he said, taking her left hand and turning it over.
He opened the box to reveal a small golden ring with a red gemstone. El leaned closer to look at it as he slipped the ring out of its holder and slid it onto her pointer finger.
“It’s called a promise ring. I…I don’t know much about rings, or jewelry in general, and if, if you don’t like it we can get a better one, but,” he was blushing, fumbling with his words.
El kissed him on the cheek, then went back to admiring it. “It’s perfect.”
“It’s my promise to you. That I’ll always be there for you, no matter how far away we are. You can look at it and think of me, if…If you miss me, or whatever.”
She examined the ring a little closer. It was simple, but sweet. Very pretty. “Thank you, Mike. I will wear it always. And I promise to always be there for you, too.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
“I know you will,” he breathed.
She smiled as he gently kissed her on the forehead. Overwhelmed with emotion, she twisted into his arms again and sat with her head pressed against his chest. He rested his chin on her head and sighed, but she could still feel how rapidly his heart beat through his chest. I’ll always be there for you, no matter how far away we are. She tried to imprint the words on her heart, seal the image of his face and the sound of his voice there too, where no one could reach it. No monsters, no shadows, no Russians, no bad men, no evil in the world could reach him there. Would it be enough, or would he be taken from her too, just like Hopper? She held him tighter. Maybe he and the others would be safer in Hawkins, away from her… without her powers, she couldn’t protect them anyway. Squeeze. Maybe the distance was for the best after all. Still, she pressed closer to him, her mind reeling. How could she leave him now, after everything that’s happened?
“El…” Mike gasped. “I can’t breathe…”
She released him and pulled away, facing him with fresh tears on her cheeks. “Promise me it’ll all be okay?”
The whole world spun around her, but she and Mike were astonishingly still. His face was stern before her, strong, and their bodies unmovable even as the earth seemed to quake. He grabbed both her hands with such ferocity that she had to shut her eyes. It was not a promise he could make, but she knew he would anyway.
“I promise, El.” His voice cut through the storm. “Do you believe me? I promise.”
She did.
“Yes,” she said, and though her voice still shook, she felt her resolve return to her.
“It’s going to be okay.” He tenderly brushed a new tear away from her face, and she sighed. After a few moments her breathing returned to normal again. Mike was still watching her. “Um, El?”
“Yeah?”
He suddenly looked tense, unsure. “I…I really. Uh...” He stammered. She watched him patiently, her heart quickening. He’s going to say it, she thought. Finally. “I…” He swallowed hard. “I just really care for you and want you to know that. Nothing will ever get in the way of what I feel for you. Okay?”
She blinked. “Okay, Mike. I care for you too. That will not change.”
“Good,” he said, blushing, and pulled her in for another kiss.
They sat for a while in silence together, listening to the breeze rush across the field. The flowers and tallgrass danced with one another, and El let her thoughts flicker absently like the windswept leaves. Maybe he was afraid to say it again, like something bad could happen if he did. Hopper had rarely said it, too. Perhaps, she mused, the word was only meant for rare, special occasions. But El didn’t think so. She knew he meant it, and for now that was enough. And if by some miracle she could reunite with her dad again, she’d make sure he knew she loved him, too.
The pair took the long way home as the sun began to set, sharing the last of Joyce’s cookies. Mike had picked a flower for her, and she placed it behind her ear while the two of them discussed which colors looked best with the other. For Mike, she preferred green, or blue, and she confessed that yellow was her favorite. Mike agreed, though she was pretty sure he enjoyed any color she wore. It was nearly dark by the time they reached the Byers’ front porch. The crickets and cicadas serenaded them with their evening songs as fireflies lazily floated around them. The air had grown cool now that the sun was low, and she pressed closer to Mike who stood just beyond the front door, reluctant to go inside. It was hard when every moment felt like it could be their last, but for just this once, El decided to take it in, without fear of what may come next. They breathed as one to the rhythm of the evening sounds, wrapped in an embrace warmer than anything she’d ever known. Finally, the door creaked open.
“Hey guys, sorry to interrupt.” Joyce peaked outside, with a gentle, knowing smile on her face. “Dinner is ready.”
“Oh. Sure,” Mike said, releasing El.
“Joyce, look at my new ring,” El said, showing off her left hand.
“It’s beautiful, did Mike give that to you?” She asked, opening the door further so the two could come inside. She seemed to wink at Mike, but El wasn’t sure.
“Yes,” El replied, then turned to face Mike as she said, “and I love it.” He flushed.
“I’m glad.” he choked on the words.
And so their last day alone together came to an end. El lay down in her bed that night thinking of strawberries and rings, kisses and tears, flowers and fireflies. Now engulfed in Mike’s promise, the night felt softer, and kinder to her heart. The ache of the last few months still wore on her, but now it seemed her wounds were at least starting to heal. She could pack her things and move; it wouldn’t change what really mattered. She stretched her hand out to place in where Mike had sat that morning. Never Leave me, she thought. And though her powers had yet to return to her, she was sure Mike felt it, through the dark and the noise. And the ring on her hand shown the brighter in the moonlight.
I won’t, it seemed to say.
I promise.