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“Mmm? Looking at the clock won’t make the time tick by any faster, loverboy~ Oh, are you maybe hoping it’ll make the time go slower instead? I didn’t think you’d be that nervous.”
“Shut. Up.”
Mydei glares daggers at Phainon who just laughs jovially, flipping his pancake over by the stove. His foot drums impatiently as the clock ticks down tauntingly in front of him, as if wanting to exacerbate the annoyance he feels. Annoyance, anxiety, and building aggravation.
“It’s just a date, lighten up! I’m sure Castorice will be happy even if things go off the rails,” Phainon hums, giving a finger gun and a wink in Mydei’s direction. At his words, Mydei practically withers, looking to the side like a devastated man.
“Things can’t go off the rails, that’s just… I wouldn’t be a worthwhile man if I can’t make this date go right.”
“... Wow. You really like her if you’re stressed out that much over it. Pull it together! Aren’t you supposed to be the guy with a cool head to my impulses? You’re just going to the flower shop with her and then to a movie theater, right? It’s too lowkey to mess up!”
Mydei stares at him with a grimace.
“There’s still… Lots of possibilities, you know-”
“Oh my gods. Go! Shoo with you! Before you miss the time you agreed to meet up and really fuck up!”
His head snaps to the clock, breaking into a mad dash towards the doorway. He laces up his boots messily, checking himself one last time in his phone’s camera, before he pushes the door open. Mydei shakes his head with an annoyed sigh as Phainon gives him an over the top salute, and he sends a text to Castorice right as he steps outside his apartment.
>I’m heading there right now.
Today… he’ll make sure she enjoys every second of it. He’s proud of her, for her bravery to put herself out there, and…
And, well, deep down he’s wanted this too. He clenches his fist to his chest and takes a deep breath in, making his way out of his apartment building and thinking of any opening line that doesn’t sound too cheesy to say to her face when they meet.
… He’s excited to see her. Castorice… he’ll say everything, if you say everything you’re thinking of as well.
Mydei won’t let today be a waste.
**
“... Little princeeee, hey, up here! Do you have the notes for… um, actually… Nevermind. Still depressed over the Castorice thing?”
Mydei raises his head at Cipher’s voice, now thankfully having discarded its playful tune. From behind her, he can see Hyacine’s concerned head poking through the doorway, which just makes his stomach sink more.
“Hey, I told you not to bring it up without needing to! That’s just being insensitive,” Phainon barely whispers above his head, holding a finger to his lips. Cipher rolls her eyes, reaching down to poke at Mydei’s forehead, cringing when he doesn’t even swat her hand away in annoyance.
“Skirting around it means it builds up, numbskull. Take it from Hyacine, letting things fester isn’t good. Ya gotta treat it at the source. And the source of that is- your date. Or your failed one, which happened like…”
Cipher trails off, counting on her fingers.
“Weeks ago,” Hyacine finishes, entering the room with a glass of water in hand. She places it by Mydei’s head, urging him with her eyes to take a sip of it. At the very least he acquiesces to that, lifting himself off the desk’s surface to hold the glass to his lips.
“It’s just strange, really. Cassie was so excited talking to me the days leading up to it, and since then, I haven’t heard anything from her since…”
Mydei slams his palms down on the desk, pushing himself onto his feet. Hyacine looks at him with concern as he pushes past Phainon and towards the door, shoving his hand in his pocket as he slings his bag over his shoulder.
“I don’t want to talk about it. End of story. I’m heading out now.”
He doesn’t turn back, leaving without hesitation. Their concerned glances would have only aggravated him further, and that benefits nobody here. Simple as that. As he departs, he hears the murmurs of their next conversation topic, at least having the decency to not continue to talk about him behind his back.
“... Professor Anaxa also hasn’t been seen in a few weeks. I hope he’s alright.”
“That’s just typical for him, isn’t it? When I messaged him for grading, he only said he’s working on an important project.”
Mydei shakes his head as their voices grow more distant, keeping his head down the floor. He feels his phone practically burning a hole in his pocket, and against his better judgment, he pulls out and taps onto his and Castorice’s messages.
>I’m here
>Hello?
>Are you going to be late
>Castorice
>Castorice…?
He winces at the sight of the chatlog, the feeling almost identical to being stabbed in the heart. Just why didn’t she respond? There weren’t any read receipts, or anything. Just… left on delivered.
Did Mydei mess up before he even started? Did she regret the idea of going out with him so much she could have… cut things off with everyone prematurely? No, that’s just… that’s out of his hand. So, why is he worrying so much? Why is he placing the blame on himself? Isn’t it Castorice’s fault if she didn’t want to see him that bad?
So, why does he still want to hear from her despite everything…?
He clenches his phone case tightly, taking a deep breath in and reaching to shut off the screen, but just then-
Ding!
Mydei blinks slowly, staring down at his screen. An unread message- just now. And it’s from…
Castorice?
>Come see me
His phone trembles in his hand, half convinced he’s just… hallucinating. No, is Phainon pranking him or something? No, whenever Phainon messes with him, it's never malicious. He wouldn’t dangle hope in front of him like this- and there’s no way he’s technologically adept enough to do that anyhow. Then…
Mydei’s fingers tremble as they tap across his phone screen, trying to regulate his breathing all the while.
‘Where are you?’
‘Why are you only contacting me now?’
‘Did I do something?’
Each time he finishes a message, he deletes it, racking his brain for a better response than the utter ramblings that flood his brain. Is there an appropriate response for this scenario? Another message comes in, saving him from his plight of self doubt.
It’s an address, one he… doesn’t recognize. It could be in the middle of nowhere. It could be some creepy basement. It could be some other kind of holding cell. Or, it could be…
He swallows. Is he really considering this?
Mydei stares so hard at the message it practically burns into his retinas, before he swipes his screen onto his messages with Phainon.
>If I’m not back tonight cook what’s left in the fridge
With that, he punches the address into his GPS, and heads for his bike in the parking lot.
**
Much to his displeasure, the address does indeed… lead him in the middle of nowhere. Well, akin to in the middle of nowhere- it’s in the middle of a forest for crying out loud, and it was very awkward to find a place to park his bike that didn’t leave it privy to being stolen.
A lone cottage stands by its lonesome, practically out of some fantasy tale. If he was more optimistic maybe he could imagine a dwarf or something would greet him at the door— but when he raps his knuckles on it, nobody comes to answer.
Mydei swallows thickly. No service here either, so he’s really… all on his own.
The idea of Castorice waiting here motivates him to reach out for the door handle, testing it with a tug, and finding the door is conspicuously already unlocked. He shakes off the unease as he pushes forward into the house, finding it relatively well maintained, all things considered.
Mydei passes by all the framed photos on the wall, keeping his eyes locked squarely ahead of him until he enters the living room and he-
He catches sight of her.
Castorice stands there, pouring two cups of tea on the small coffee table. Her eyes are obscured from where Mydei stands, and her head doesn’t even turn to acknowledge him.
But, still, that’s undoubtedly her. The purple hair coursing down her back, her dress swaying as she moves, and her gloved hands. It’s the sight he lost out on that day, and the sight he’s wanted to chase ever since.
“C… Castorice?” He finally stutters out, forcing his body to move. Slowly, her head sluggishly turns to him, her neck stuck at a… weird incline. Mydei resists the urge to run over, trying not to trip on his own feet as he makes his way to her.
“Tea,” Castorice mumbles in a strange, gravelly tone, pushing the tray towards him. Mydei blinks before slowly nodding, picking the tea cup up. He follows after her when she sits down on the couch, taking a seat by her side. He gives her an unsure glance, but she only continues to stare ahead of herself.
… Or he assumes so, at least. Her head is just tilted down at the floor, staring at her tea cup she doesn’t pick up.
“… Are you okay?”
No answer.
His foot starts tapping incessantly at the floor, waiting for her to say something, anything. But Castorice stays practically motionless, hunched over and dormant.
“Castorice, please. Why… why did you reach out?”
He can see her fingers twitch at that, and her head bobs up and down slightly. She still doesn’t turn to face him.
“Mydei… important. Seeing you was… important.”
Mydei bunches the fabric up on his pants, biting down his lap.
“Now it’s important? After you just disappeared from my life? You could have done this sooner. You're not the type of person to do this to people.”
His breathing picks up as he turns his entire body to face her, clutching at his hair.
“Just… just an explanation would have fixed everything, Castorice. Did you not want to go after all? Did something get in the way? Please, just tell me…”
As he rambles, Castorice reaches down to take her tea cup in hand. Mydei wonders how she can possibly just sit there and take this, why isn’t she sticking up for herself? No, it’s not sticking up, he just wants a reason and he doesn’t want to feel like he’s berating her just for being sane and anting that-
Riiiip.
…?
Mydei looks down at Castorice’s wrist and… finds it not on her body, her entire right hand now attached to the tea cup.
“What the… hell…?” He whispers, frozen in place.
“Tch. So the stitching wasn’t foolproof after all.”
Mydei drops the teacup on the floor as his head whips to the doorway, where… What's his name again? Oh, Anaxagoras stands. Wait, why the hell is he here now?!
Anaxa looks at Mydei, then to Castorice, before sighing and shaking his head.
“Seems like the jig is up. I’ll make this blunt to you, boy.”
They cross their arms and toss their hair over their shoulder, before wetting their lips with their tongue.
“Castorice died just the day before your date.”
Mydei’s heart drops in his chest. His mouth falls open without him even thinking, his head whipping up to look at Anaxa’s emotionless face. They deliver the news in an almost monotone manner, but he can see just how affected they are as they grip their sleeve tightly in their fist.
“She was hit by a truck. Freak accident, really. I wasn’t satisfied with just letting her die… so I cut her into pieces, and tried rewiring her body from there.”
“Into pieces?”
Anaxa gestures to the way Castorice- or, maybe Mydei should think of her as ‘Castorice’ picks up her detached wrist, staring blankly at the seam.
“I don’t regret what I’ve done.”
Mydei rubs his temples, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Fine– Fine! Asking for an explanation will only make my head hurt more. But, whatever, you could have kept her a secret, why… invite me back? And expose her… current state?”
At that, Anaxa leans against the doorway, lips pressed in a thin line.
“... She was looking forward to your date so much. She felt so accomplished, and she deserved to be. She had always struggled with being open, and connecting with others, so when you accepted when she took that leap to reach out; she was over the moon. In her room, on her calendar she stuck so many stickers on that date, circled it over and over, coordinated the perfect outfit…”
Anaxa closes their eye, head tilting up to the ceiling.
“And then, she was gone from the world. Just another one of life’s cruelties, isn’t it? She had been by death her entire life, and it robbed her right before she experienced something she was looking forward to so much. So, I thought to myself…”
They clench their fist tightly, a wry smile curling up on their face.
“If death cheated her from happiness, then I would just cheat it back. Even just for one day, one date…”
They swallow heavily, looking down at the solemn Mydei, who wrings his hands together in thought.
“Well, I just didn’t want you to hate her, that’s all.”
Mydei casts a glance to ‘Castorice’, who despondently slumps over, as if demoralized by hearing everything from Anaxa’s mouth too.
“I tried firing her nerves up with electricity, but as you can see… I could only get her functionality up to here.”
Anaxa shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders.
“I’ll leave it up to you on how you want to proceed from here. Reject her entirely, accept her for who she is, or just leave without making a choice- I won’t stop you. Just make your decision. This could very well be the last time you’ll ever see her.”
With that, Anaxa turns on his heel and leaves the room, leaving just the two of them once again.
“… So… you’re just… a zombie now, huh?”
Mydei laughs mirthlessly at that, tossing his head back. He leans back where he sits, staring up at the ceiling
‘Just make your decision’.
Easier said than done, isn’t it? Ah, but he’s always been the indecisive type. Now, and forever. That’s why he hesitated so long to consider his feelings for her, until it was… too late.
She… died. That’s a fact, and this is some… otherworldly thing that’s happened that can give him closure.
That has some… serious weight to it. And even that’s an understatement.
These feelings that he wanted to share… can they still be expressed? Should they still be expressed? How… can they be expressed?
“… Castorice.”
Mydei can’t hesitate. Only he can express them to her, and he wants only her to see them.
“I won’t… forgive this, as a redo of our date.”
Castorice leans limply on him, her cold body sending shivers down his spine. Still, he talks.
“I was looking forward to it too. I wanted to see your smile, I wanted to see you laugh, I wanted it to be all mine for a day.”
He looks down at his hand, before moving it to rest on the flat expanse of her back.
“I don’t, and won’t ever hate you. I… I wanted to be with you. So I can’t forgive it. I can’t forgive you… leaving me behind. So I won’t move on. I’ll wait… for another date. I’ll wait for you.”
Mydei brings Castorice into his arms, hugging her gently, being careful not to tear anything further. Her cold body feels hard against him, but, even so,
He finds she fits perfectly in his embrace. Maybe he’s lying to himself, but he can even feel the twitch of her fingers against his back.
After a while, he pulls away and gathers his things, locking the door on his way out. He drives home, and on his way back, his head is… strangely clear.
… How strange, to only come to terms with his feelings after her ‘death’.
Ha. What irony.
**
The very next day, he gets two messages from an anonymous number.
>Come
>Something important
Attached is the same address in Castorice’s messages, so it’s most likely from that Anaxa guy. Though he has no idea what that ‘important’ thing is, there’s probably nothing more shocking than the whole zombie revelation anyway, so really-
What could he possibly lose from coming?
Ah, the sunk cost fallacy. Classic.
He lets himself in through the, once again, unlocked front door, before tracking down the sound of chatter within one of the rooms that was previously locked on his first visit. Following common sense, Mydei pushes the door open to that room and…
“… Castorice?”
Castorice sits in bed, lower half tucked under the sheets, her head turned away from the door. At the sound of his voice, she turns, her eyes softening at the sight of Mydei.
“Lord Mydei,” she replies, and his head spins as he processes the voice he never thought he’d have the chance to hear again.
Anaxa sighs loudly, breaking him out of his trance in the doorway.
“I had to call in a favor from a certain seamstress to redo her stitching, and during this bout of electricity induced activity… it seems something clicked in place and allowed her to return to normal.”
Castorice bows her head down sheepishly, shaking her head.
“I… It feels like everything was a dream, honestly. I can’t say what I think worked, but in that dream…”
She rests her hands over her heart, looking fondly at Mydei as he pulls a chair over to sit by her bed.
“I could hear Lord Mydei’s words reaching me, and… the warmth of his touch.”
Anaxa nods, writing down his observations on a notepad.
“I see. Physical contact… relit your ‘spark’, so to speak? Very well. I’ll allow it. For science, after all.”
The implications make Mydei flush red, but before reacting with indignation, he reaches out for Castorice’s hand- who takes it after a small bit of hesitation. Her skin is still icy cold, but somehow, Mydei thinks he could get used to that.
“… Can you still eat?”
Castorice nods, eyes lighting up.
“Will you cook something? I’m not aware of the ingredients the Professor may have in this house, but I’d like to help anyway that I can!”
Mydei pets her hair, looking at her with soft eyes.
“Alright. Let’s do that, then. I want to talk to Anaxa out in the hallway first, though.”
At his request, Anaxa gives Castorice a pat on the head before the two of them shuffle into the hallway, leaning on the walls across from each other.
“… Before you ask, no, if she bites you, you won’t turn into a zombie. She’s not that type from the movies.”
“I- I wasn’t going to ask that! Seriously, why would I even… no, nevermind. I just wanted to ask if you’re… okay with me still being with her.”
“You think I’d be against it?”
“I think that since you care about her enough to revive her, it’s gotta be… a pretty strong bond. So, I guess I’m asking for approval… to… continue… pursuing her.”
Anaxa blinks at that, before covering their mouth and laughing behind it. They shake their head in disbelief, leaving Mydei to just… stand there, until they finish.
“How bold! Though, I suppose that too is part of why Castorice gushed over you so much. Sure, sure. Do as you please. Physical contact, or to say, your warmth is what’s key to starting her up, after all. Just don’t get carried away and speed through finding out what all her stitches look like.”
“I wasn’t. And, about that… her appearance- are you going to bring her outside of this cottage?”
Anaxa blinks at that, before smirking.
“Nothing a little make up can’t fix. I have confidence in her ability to mend her relationships after her absence- why do you ask?”
Mydei cracks open the door and peers into the room, watching as Castorice smiles and waves at him.
“… There’s something we have to make up, after all.”
**
“It’s so cold,” Castorice laments, holding Mydei’s hand in hers. Mydei chuckles by her side, the lights of the movie theater’s posters illuminating their way on the sidewalk.
Castorice pauses in front of one of them, making Mydei stop in his tracks as well. He blanches as he catches sight of what’s caught her attention, shaking his head at the coincidence.
“Night of the mindless flesh eaters,” she reads out, tilting her head to the side. Mydei pulls her closer, whispering down into her ear.
“You’re… way cuter than that, I promise.”
Castorice blushes and whips her head down, nodding her head as she tugs him along.
“That’s… besides the point…!!”
Mydei laughs. She looks so kissable like this but, he can’t be too hasty.
He squeezes her hand, and his heart thuds harder at her smile towards him.
Can her heart even race too, as a zombie?
Well… he’s got all the time in the world, to figure out all those intricacies, if she’ll let him. But, as for now…
Maybe after the movie, he’ll figure out what it’s like to press their lips together. For science, and for…
Them. How rewarding.