Chapter Text
It started like this:
“Mr.Guzman sent him home with a note saying he needed to speak to a human guardian for the parent-teacher conference,” Hazel had explained to him one peaceful afternoon. Her face was sympathetic. “I think Dev’s worried about bothering his dad.”
“So he put out an ad online?” Peri asked. He stared incredulously at the bizarre want ad searching for an adult willing to pretend to be the guardian of the boy for the hour. It was blunt and sparse and so ridiculous that Peri was sure most would assume it was a joke.
“I’m worried about strangers responding,” Hazel said. She gave Peri large, pleading eyes and he could already see how this was going to go. “It’s only for the meeting and he’s willing to pay!”
And Peri sighed.
~~
Peri stared at the young boy with something like foreboding pooling in his gut. It could have been the boy’s careless slouch or the blank expression on his face or the way his large sunglasses reflected Peri’s own unsure face back at him that left him fidgeting in place and second-guessing all his life decisions that led him to that point.
He miserably thought back to the dismal number on his bank statement and tried to steel his resolve. Post-graduation had seen him jobless and strapped for cash. His parents had been more than accommodating, allowing him to crash at their place while he tried to figure out what to do with his life. His childhood studies degree supposedly should have opened doors but it was like every employer simultaneously decided that that wasn’t enough and his lack of field experience shut those doors faster than Peri could blink.
He tried not to feel bad about resorting to taking money from a child, but two hundred dollars for an hour of sitting in a classroom was a deal that would have been stupid to turn down.
“Hey kid!” Peri tried for energetic and charismatic as he smiled at the boy, clutching at his cane and throwing his hands out dramatically. “I’m Peri, like periwinkle. Looks like I’m your new parent!”
It wasn’t hard to imagine the judgement behind those dark shades.
“You’re Hazel’s neighbor?” The boy finally spoke up, his tone dry.
“Well, my parents are, technically. I’m just – ah, visiting.” Peri perked up when the boy - Dev, he needed to start using his name; that was his son after all – gave him a once over the rim of his shades. He stood at attention under the scrutiny.
“You’ll do,” Dev nodded to himself. “Keep that positive, happy-go-lucky energy going, teachers eat that stuff up.”
He snapped his fingers and signaled for Peri to follow. Peri could do nothing but trail behind obediently.
~~
The actual meeting was fine; easy, in fact.
The initial introductions had been awkward, Mr.Guzman giving Peri an odd look and mentioning not seeing a Peri on any of Dev’s paperwork.
Peri had stammered something incoherently before Dev swooped in, “Pops doesn’t like the attention it gets.”
It might have been just politeness that made Mr.Guzman accept that answer but Peri was nonetheless grateful that he simply nodded and offered them a seat.
But the longer the hour went on with Mr.Guzman saying nothing but praise for the young boy, the more Peri’s chest loosened. It hadn’t been hard to act proud when shown the high marks on Dev’s tests and assignments; it was clear that the kid worked hard and took pride in his work despite the way he grumbled and slouched in his seat every time they looked at him. It was such an endearing display that Peri couldn’t help but ruffle the boy’s hair and hoped the little act wouldn’t dock any of his pay.
When Peri and Dev walked out into the parking lot, he fought the urge to pat himself on the back for a job well done and fantasized about all the treats he could buy himself with two hundred dollars.
~~
“Did you know Dev has another guardian?”
Velasquez and Mack looked up as Guzman entered the teacher’s lounge. Mack dog-eared the page she’d been reading.
“You mean other than his father?”
Guzman shook his head. “Not Dale. A nice young man, Peri. He was just here for Dev’s parent-teacher conference.”
“Dale Dimmadome’s married?” Velasquez's eyes went wide. “And he was just here and we didn’t see him?”
“Oh, look! They're still in the parking lot!” Mack stood at the window, peeking through the blinds. Velasquez shot up from her seat to join her.
She whistled. “He’s young.”
“But he is very handsome.”
Guilt ate away at Guzman who rocked on his feet.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up. Dev says he prefers to keep the whole thing quiet.”
Velasquez and Mack mimed zipping their lips.
~~
Velasquez tried; she really did. But it was hard to sit on the biggest piece of gossip when surrounded by a crowd of excitable listeners who ate every piece of news with the enthusiasm of sharks in bloodied water.
She never stood a chance at the PTA meeting.
She hadn’t meant to but their discussion had turned to funding and donations and supplies for teachers and one of the moms sighed dejectedly and muttered, “If only that Devin boy could get his dad to support the school. None of this would be an issue.”
And Velasquez spoke before she could think, “We could ask his other dad.”
And all eyes locked on her.
Gossip had a funny way of spreading far faster than it had any right to. It started with eager PTA parents chomping at the bit to draw out every detail from Velasquez, and it followed them home. They spoke in hushed voices to their partners in their kitchens, delighted to bring something new and unexpected to the conversation. And unbeknownst to them, their children’s ears twitched one room over, sharp hearing a gift of their young age.
Gossip thrived in playgrounds; children sharing anything and everything with their playmates, uncaring of what it actually was and only that their parents had been whispering so it must have been important. And those children took their newfound knowledge with them, announcing it to all who would listen on the car ride home.
Needless to say, it didn’t take long for the entirety of Dimmadelphia to suddenly become captivated with the mysterious figure who captured the heart of the richest man in the country. The whispers and the rumors crashed through the city like a flood, filling every space and open ear it could, rising and rising until it reached the very top of the Dimmadome Global Tower where, if one listened very carefully, they could hear the baffled bellow of its CEO,
“Who the hell is Peri?”
~~
“You wanted to see me, dad?”
“Devin,” Dale stared at his son from across his desk, hands steepled tightly together. “Would you care to explain this?”
He shoved a tablet across the way and watched Dev swallow hard when he saw what was pulled up: an ad looking for someone to play parent to one Dev Dimmadome. Pulled up next to it was a tabloid article with a large, bolded headline: Dimmadome’s Secret Love Life?
Dev lowered the device, his face panicked. “Dad, I didn’t –”
“Do you know what people are saying, Devin?” Dale cut him off. “They think you have another father! Everyone thinks I got married in secret!”
Dev’s eyes were wide and Dale looked away. “I just didn’t want to annoy you with dumb school stuff and –”
“And an online ad, Devin?” Dale rubbed his temple. He could already feel a headache coming on. “Who knows what weirdo you could have gotten the attention of!”
“He’s not an internet weirdo. He’s Hazel’s friend or something,” Dev scratched at his arm. “I didn’t think he would –”
“I really don’t have the time to deal with all this right now, Devin,” Dale scowled. “It’s been hectic enough as is trying to get everything ready for Buxaplenty’s annual getaway. And you know this year’s trip is especially important. Buxaplenty is being difficult enough as is, the last thing we need is some kind of scandal –”
A loud buzz caught them both by surprise. Dale’s eyes fell to his phone on his desk, shaking every few seconds and rattling the wood below. Dale stared at the name on the screen with apprehension.
He answered.
“Buxaplenty!” He greeted, his voice cheery. He forced himself to smile. “Speak of the devil, I was just thinking about our talks –”
“Dale,” Remy Buxaplenty’s tone was curt and Dale swallowed his tongue. The grin on his face stayed, strained and tight at its edges, but necessary to keep his temper in check. There was a quiet beat before Remy huffed out a laugh and his voice turned light. “I heard the good news. Congratulations on your union. This Peri is a…” Dale could hear a click on a tongue. “A lucky man.”
“Oh, that!” Dale chuckled, false and unnatural. “You know how those tabloids and gossip rags are, can’t trust –”
“Consider me impressed, Dale,” Remy continued as if Dale hadn’t spoken. “A relationship kept under wraps for so long? I didn’t know you were even capable of being that discreet. I would have expected you to have your wedding trending on every social media site. I could practically see the headlines: ‘the event of a lifetime.’”
“Yes, well –”
“Perhaps I misjudged you, Dimmadome,” Dale’s mouth slammed shut and he shot Dev a disbelieving look. His son tilted his head in confusion.
And then an idea formed in his head and Dale opened his mouth before he could stop it.
“Yes, well, my Peri’s a little camera shy – asked if we could do something private, just between him, me, and Dev. You know, as a family. And I just can’t say no to my…little…sweetheart…His needs come before my own and all that!”
Remy hummed in thought on the other end. “I should expect to see this Peri at our little getaway, correct? I’d love to meet the man who captured your heart.” He laughed obnoxiously like he hadn’t just caused Dale’s stomach to drop. “I look forward to continuing our talks. See you soon!”
The call cut off, leaving the two Dimmadomes to stare at each other in silence.
Dev startled when his dad slammed his head into his desk.
~~
Dale and Dev stood in front of an apartment door, donning matching frowns.
“This is where he lives?” Dale said, mouth twisting.
Dev shrugged. “This is where his parents live, at least.”
Dale groaned and knocked on the door before he could talk himself out of it.
A tall man opened the door, his expression cautious although Dale was distracted by the pair of large star-shaped sunglasses perched on his head.
“Hello?” There was a musical lilt to the man’s voice, his word dragging along at the end.
Dale found his eyes wandering to the man’s loose fitting clothes and the small dark stain at the hem of his shirt and felt dread bubble up in his stomach.
“...Peri?” And for once Dale hoped he was wrong.
The man’s face brightened. He leaned toward them, leaning heavily against the door as it swung with the weight.
“You know Peri?” He asked, and relief flooded through Dale so quickly he felt lightheaded. “Oh, my boy is making friends! Wanda! Wanda! Come here, Peri has visitors!”
An equally tall woman stepped beside him at the doorway, her face curious. She caught sight of Dev hidden behind Dale’s legs.
“Oh, you’re Hazel’s little friend, aren’t you?”
Dev opened his mouth –
“Excuse me,” Dale flashed them as patient a grin as he could. “Is Peri home? We’d like to speak to him as soon as possible.”
“Mom, Dad, what’s going on? I thought I heard my name.”
It was a complete set of tall people, which Dale couldn’t help but grumble at, as a third member peeked through, pushing through shoulders to get to the front.
Dale blinked.
Huh.
Well, there were worse people he could be rumored to be married to.
The gossip rags hadn’t been entirely wrong, Peri was young, probably just out of college, freshfaced and eager to enter the workforce. And it was hard not to acknowledge the man’s good looks, his round face beautiful in its softness, matching the gleam of his wide violet eyes.
Violet eyes which were locked on Dev.
“Ah - you!” Peri gaped at the boy. His attention darted to Dale and his face paled. “A-and you must be the real Mr.Dimmadome! I’m so sorry –”
Dale held up a hand. “Peri?”
The man nodded.
“Do you have a moment to talk?” Dale shot his parents a quick look. “Alone?”
With a gloomy look, Peri ushered his parents back inside, quietly shutting the door behind them and motioning for the two Dimmadomes to follow him further down the hall.
“They’re probably leaning up against the door listening in,” Peri explained when Dale raised a brow.
They ended up in the stairwell, Dev immediately plopping down on a step and pulling out his phone. Dale stayed as far away from the walls as he could, clearly cleaning them was not a high priority for the property managers, and watched Peri flex his hand nervously on the head of his cane.
“If this is about the rumors, Mr. Dimmadome, I’m really sorry. I didn’t think –”
“So you’ve heard them then,” Dale cut in.
Peri nodded, sadly.
“I mean, it was impossible not to. I shouldn’t have pretended to be your son's dad, but I didn’t realize he was that Dimmadome. Although I guess in hindsight, how many Dimmadome’s can there be and really, what kind of child just has two hundred dollars lying around? Honestly I should have seen the signs much sooner but Mr. Dimmadome you have to understand –”
“Please,” Peri bit his lip to physically stop himself from continuing as Dale leveled a look at him. “Call me Dale. After all, I have a potential business deal that I’d like to discuss that I believe will be beneficial for the both of us.”
Peri’s face fell in confusion. “What?”
Dale crossed his hands behind him and rocked on his feet. The height Peri had on him dug somewhat, but he attempted to make up for it with sheer presence.
“I’m in a bit of a pickle, Peri,” Dale said, keeping his voice collected. “You see, for the past two years, I’ve been trying to get Domezone, Dimmadome Global’s indoor amusement park business venture, off the ground. There’s just been one tiny, little thorn at my side; a thorn that goes by the name of Remy Buxaplenty.”
Peri’s hands fell to his sides as he listened intently, still unsure of where the man was going.
“Buxaplenty’s family owns Coastline Steel Fabrications, the steel manufacturing company well known for their hand in theme parks. Partnering with the company would be a gold mine for the Domezone. I’m positive we could produce some of the finest, never-before-seen rides and attractions. Yet despite my best efforts, Buxaplenty has been particularly stubborn about coming to some kind of agreement and is keeping what I want out of reach. Something about not liking me or my character or whatever.”
Dale rolled his eyes.
“However, I received a rather surprising call from the man the other day. He also heard the – hm, unfortunate – rumors and he congratulated me. The nicest conversation I’ve had with the man in years, honestly.”
Peri furrowed his brows and opened his mouth but Dale held up a hand.
“This is where you come in. The Buxaplenty family hosts a little get together every year at their island resort; two weeks where they and all their friends and their families get a chance to unwind and relax. Of course, members of the Dimmadome family have been guests for years and this would, naturally, include my new husband.”
Peri blinked, still lost. “I’m sorry…what is it exactly that you need from me?”
“Play the part of my husband,” Dale said and he felt a slight thrill of delight at the way Peri’s brows crawled up his face and his jaw dropped. “Help me win Buxaplenty over. He’s already expecting me to bring my new spouse along but you’re also a fresh face, someone outside of our social circles. You could bring a new perspective to the whole thing; if he likes you, he may change his mind about me and, more importantly, about the Domezone.”
“Hold on, hold on,” Peri held up a hand. At some point he’d backed up into the wall as if shoved by Dale’s words. He stared at the other man incredulously. “Let me get this straight. You want us to be married –”
“Pretend, obviously.”
“To parade me around to your rich friends –”
“They’re more like colleagues than actual friends.”
“And make yourself look good –”
“Well, not just me.”
“Just so you can seal a deal with Buxaplenty?”
Dale’s grin widened. “Couldn’t have put it better myself.”
Peri shot a helpless look to Dev who pretended to pay them little attention. Peri could see the boy’s eyes dart to them every once and a while and his phone screen had been stuck on the same start screen of some game since he sat down, but Dev made it a point to never stare too long or make his interest known. He left Peri to flounder on his own.
Peri looked back toward Dale whose smile had since dimmed to tense politeness. “You can’t be serious.”
“As a heart attack.”
“You said this was a business deal,” Peri pointed out, trying to find some kind of footing. “That would mean I get something out of this, wouldn’t it?”
“Of course!” Dale pulled out his phone and opened the calculator app. He tapped away at some numbers. “In addition to essentially getting a free vacation, you will receive a lump sum payment at the end of the two week period. I suspect we will need to continue the charade somewhat after we return – you will, of course, return to living with your parents during that time, we can spin it as an argument we had as fuel to our eventual divorce. In that time, you’ll receive a smaller, albeit still substantial, bonus check for each additional week. And during our two weeks together, you will also have an allowance that you’re free to spend on whatever you desire.”
Peri’s eyes grew wider and wider as the number of digits on the calculator increased. Dale stared at his phone for a moment, gave Peri a once over, and hummed contemplatively.
“We’ll also probably need to do some shopping before the trip – people would expect nothing but the best from my hypothetical spouse. Whatever clothes or accessories we purchase in preparation are yours to keep. They’d be tailored to you anyway.”
Peri couldn’t tear his eyes away from the number on the phone. If two hundred dollars had been a treat, the amount his bank account would see at the end of their little charade was a downright feast. His brain had trouble connecting to his mouth though as he stammered out a response.
“I–I don’t even –”
“You don’t have to answer now,” Dale cut in. He pulled out a business card and held it out to the younger man. “Take a day to think about my offer. If you’re interested, meet me at the restaurant written on the back tomorrow night.”
Peri gingerly took the card and startled when Dale caught his wrist.
The man pulled him close and grinned, “I hope to see you there.”
~~
Peri fiddled with the cuff of his dress shirt as he stood outside Andi’s Garden. The tinted glass of the restaurant’s front windows hid its interior but the patio seating was filled with patrons dressed to the nines, perfectly tailored and put together in picturesque dinner scenes that left Peri feeling severely out of place. He fidgeted in place and jolted when an older couple, elbows intertwined, bumped into his shoulder as they strode toward the door.
“Sorry,” He said, shuffling to the side. He grimaced when the pair gave him a dirty look and opened the door to step inside. The light and noise that spilled out and Peri made the mistake of catching the host’s eye from where he stood and they cocked their head in confusion as the door swung close behind the couple. Peri took a steadying breath, straightened, and entered.
The restaurant was pure class; white tablecloths, dim lighting accentuated by candles lit at each table, waitstaff navigating through the space with absolute efficiency dressed in matching, immaculate uniforms. The smell hit Peri in a gentle wave, the rich aroma of herbs, and garlic, and tomatoes that enveloped the space in a warm hug and left Peri’s mouth watering.
After the host gestured the older couple ahead of him into the dining area, they turned back to address him. Peri startled when their face brightened as if in recognition.
“Are you here for the Dimmadome reservation?” They asked and Peri froze, feeling caught. He avoided meeting the host’s eye, his face flushing. It wasn’t likely that they knew the exact reason for why he was meeting with Dale, but he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed for even entertaining the absurd situation.
“Yes,” He cleared his throat when the word came out squeaky. He tried to smile. “How’d you guess?”
“Your guest is already waiting for you upstairs,” The host said, gesturing to the spiral staircase to their right. “He was very specific about who was joining him tonight. And I have to say, his description of you was very accurate.”
“He talked about me?” Peri asked, unsure how to feel.
“Oh, don’t worry!” The host assured after seeing Peri’s frown. There was something suggestive in the way their lips curled upward. “All good things, I promise.”
Peri gave them a nervous chuckle, tugging at his collar to stave off the heat crawling up his neck. He followed close behind them as they made their way to the second floor – just as opulent and ritzy as the one below it – and let himself be led toward the back.
The back wall had an entryway that opened into a private room. It clearly had enough space to hold private events for the restaurant but at the moment only a single table was set up in the middle of the space, illuminated by candle light and a small, tasteful bouquet of roses at its center. And seated on one of the only two seats was Dale Dimmadome, lounging with an arm thrown over the back of the chair as he stared at something on his phone.
The host gently knocked on the wall to catch his attention.
Dale glanced back toward them and the smile that stretched across his face was arrogant.
“I knew I could count on you to show up.”
Peri huffed, shoulders drawing up to respond when he was ushered toward the other chair by the host. He blinked and suddenly the room was filled with numerous waitstaff. Bodies flitted around their table, each waiter that passed by dropping something off on their table. Peri jumped slightly as one leaned close to deliver a glass and a pitcher of water and then stared helplessly at another who approached with a bottle of wine for his inspection. He gaped at the man for a moment before Dale drew the waiter’s attention toward him, nodding approvingly after reading the label, and leaning back as the waiter poured them both a glass.
When the whir of bodies passed and they were finally left alone, Peri stared wide-eyed at the bowl of soup set in front of him.
He pointed at the steaming bowl, “I didn’t order this.”
Dale chuckled, taking a small sip from his wine glass. He watched Peri from over the rim. “Not that kind of restaurant. The menu is predetermined by the chef every night; five courses including dessert.”
Peri ducked his head to hide his flush of embarrassment. The soup was a deep orange color with an assortment of vegetables floating at the top.
He poked at it with a spoon. “What if I don’t like it?”
“You will.”
Peri’s mouth twisted at the condescending tone, glaring up at Dale as he scooped up some of the soup. Dale quirked a brow in amusement.
The liquid hit his tongue in a burst of flavor and Peri fought the urge to moan out loud. From across the table he caught Dale’s smug smirk.
“It’s fine,” Peri said, petulant. He scooped another spoonful into his mouth as Dale hummed to himself.
The next few minutes passed in an awkward silence as they worked their way through the first course. Peri kept himself busy with the soup and felt a sense of dread as his spoon scraped against the bottom of the bowl. He liked to think he was a fairly affable person and he was proud of how easy small talk came to him in most situations, but this was far from his idea of normal and he was at a loss for how to even start a conversation.
He yelped when the bowl was suddenly pulled away by a waiter, replaced with a small salad. The worker bounced out of the room before Peri could even open his mouth to give thanks.
“So,” Peri’s eyes snapped back to Dale who stabbed a fork into his own salad. “You saw the benefit of marrying into the Dimmadome family?”
Red burned his cheeks and Peri frowned at his own reaction. “I’m still thinking about it.”
“Uh-uh,” Dale pointed at Peri with the tip of his fork. “That’s not what this is. Do or don’t, Periwinkle, don’t waste my time.”
“I think I’m allowed to be hesitant considering the circumstances!” Peri argued. He waved a hand between the two of them. “Do you realize how crazy this whole thing is? How would this even work? Where would we have even met? You said it yourself, it’s not like we run in the same circles.”
Dale leaned back, unbothered. “I’ve given that some thought. With your background in childcare, it’s not too far of a leap for me to have hired you to watch Devin. Your job put us in close proximity and we got to talking. We hit it off and then one thing led to another and bam! We got married.”
Peri balked and then scowled.
“No.”
Dale nearly choked on the wine he’d been sipping. He leaned forward in an attempt to loom over Peri, a feat nearly impossible with their height difference and the table between them. His glower made up for the distance.
“Don’t tell me you came here just to refuse?”
“No, no, not that,” Peri rested his arms on the table, pinning Dale with a stern look. “We’re getting divorced after all this. A divorce that will likely be as public as the marriage. Do you know how screwed my job prospects will be if word gets out that I hooked up with my first boss? My insanely rich boss who I divorced not long after? No. No backstory that involves me working for you.”
Something akin to a whine came from the older man.“What would you suggest then?”
Peri fiddled with his fork, absently picking at his salad as he thought it through.
He popped a cherry tomato into his mouth, “You have any hobbies?”
“No.”
“Attend any churches?”
“No.”
“Any volunteer work?”
“No.”
“What do you even do with your life?”
Dale scowled, “I work.”
“Well that doesn’t help us now,” Peri said, chewing slowly. They ate in silence for a few moments, both deep in thought.
Peri took a small sip of his wine, and perked at the sweetness that coated his tongue.
He rested his head on his hand. “We could have just bumped into each other in the wild.”
Dale waited until the newly arrived waiters switched out their salad plates for their next entree: a small tower of scallops drizzled with an orange sauce.
Once the room was clear again, he raised a brow, “Seems unrealistic.”
“People catch each other’s eye from across the street all the time,” His own parents’ meet-cute came to mind. A wave of warmth washed through him as he thought about the many times his dad recounted the moment he knew he was in love – the first instant when his eyes locked with mom’s. His mind wandered to all the stories his uncle had shared with him – self-proclaimed renowned matchmaker that he was – and the many, silly ways people found the ones they would spend the rest of their lives with.
Dale’s face went contemplative, which Peri took as a good sign that he was at least taking the suggestion seriously.
“About a year ago I was forced to take a cab when my driver was out sick,” Dale said suddenly. He saw Peri cock his head in confusion and clarified, “I’m not out and about in public often so ‘catching your eye’ is not as likely a scenario. But there was a moment where I was sadly forced to take a cab to attend a last minute work meeting.”
“And that’s where we would have met?” Peri asked.
Dale nodded to himself but his gaze was faraway like he wasn’t listening, “You slipped into the cab, not knowing I was already stepping inside. I was, of course, irritated by the sudden intrusion and demanded you get out.” Dale leaned forward, getting caught up in the story. “You were frantic though; asked me if we were headed in the same direction and were willing to share. You were already late to an interview.”
Peri’s brows furrowed, “Now hold on –”
“You batted your pretty long lashes and your face was flush from running and out of the goodness of my heart –”
“Excuse me?”
“ – I let you stay. We sat in that backseat, shoulders almost brushing, and when you finally caught your breath, you thanked me for being so understanding –”
“Hang on!” Peri slammed his fork on the table and then blushed under Dale’s disapproving stare. He took a second to collect himself. “At least let me speak for myself in this made up scenario.”
Dale rolled his eyes but gestured for Peri to continue.
“I thanked you for being so understanding…” Peri repeated slowly. He tried to imagine himself in the back of a car with the man across from him. Awkwardness was the first thing that came to mind. He could probably feel in the air how upset Dale was by the turn of events; the make of the man’s clothing alone told him that he probably wasn’t one who was in the habit of sharing anything. He probably would have fallen back on small talk to dissipate some of the uncomfortableness. Thanking the man and then…
“I would have asked if you were having a good day.” Peri said finally.
Dale looked unimpressed. “It took a significant nose dive when I suddenly had to share a cab with a stranger.”
Peri glared. “I thought you were trying to be the nice guy here.”
“Fine,” Dale took another bite, thinking of a response.
He suddenly straightened and leered at Peri. “My day is going fantastic now that I’m sitting next to a vision of beauty such as yourself.”
Peri choked on the piece of scallop he’d been chewing on, coughing and wheezing unattractively as he pounded against his chest.
When he was finally able to breathe again, his eyes were wide. “You cannot say that.”
“Why not?” Dale frowned, covering it by raising his glass to his lips. He thought it’d been a pretty good line.
“You wouldn’t just flirt with me right out of the gate!” He paused and then peered at the other man curiously. “Would you?”
“Not normally, no,” Dale admitted. “Romance is not high on my list of priorities. Honestly, if this unlikely hypothetical did happen, I probably would have just ignored you.”
Peri nodded – that tracked.
“But,” Dale continued casually. “If I was interested in pursuing someone, then yes, I would make my intent known. And I doubt people would find that odd, it’s not exactly hard to see why you would catch my attention.”
Peri fought the urge to hide his face with the way he could feel his cheeks burning. Dale seemed unbothered though, finishing off his plate as if he hadn’t just confessed to finding him attractive.
When his heart calmed down enough to actually gather his thoughts, Peri mumbled, “Alright, fine, but tone it down a bit, okay?”
Dale snorted. “Now who’s speaking for other people?” But he inclined his head in agreement.
In the time it took for their next course to arrive – a juicy piece of ribeye– and for their glasses to be refilled, Dale came up with something else:
“It’s looking better now with current company.”
Peri berated himself as he felt his face threaten to burn again. It was just a compliment – and not even a real compliment at that! A compliment in a made up, imaginary conversation that never actually happened.
He coughed into his fist. “That’s kind of you to say.” He tried to smile in the way he thought was flirtatious. “I’m glad I could help. We can call it pay back for letting me tag along in your cab?”
“Hm, I don’t know about that,” Dale’s grin widened enough for Peri to see the glint of gold. He steepled his fingers together and rested his chin on them. “I’m also fairly late to a very important work meeting. It might take more than good looks to make up for the detour.”
Peri chuckled despite himself. He knew where this was going and he couldn’t help but find the whole absurd situation funny. Laughing helped to ease the tightness in his face and shoulders and Peri leaned into it.
“Oh? And what is the proper payback for your good deed?”
Dale winked. “Dinner?”
And Peri couldn’t help it. The laughter escaped him in a loud boom and his eyes teared up as he struggled to breathe. He was left a huffing mess as cackles continued to spill out.
Dale watched, unamused. “Now what?”
Peri shook his head and tried to speak, “No, no, I –” He giggled, snorted, and then laughed harder. “No, I think it’s – it’s good! It’s silly but –”
He inhaled sharply to get himself under control. He managed to reign the laughter in but his smile stayed large. “It’s silly, and I don’t know what romcom I’ve jumped into, but I think it works.”
After he said them, his words fully sunk in and all the implications it came with dawned on him. The longer he sat with it, the more the nervousness and uncertainty slipped away, replaced with a ridiculous amount of confidence and belief that they could actually pull this whole thing off.
He caught Dale’s gaze, wide-eyed and almost in disbelief of his own realization. “I think this could work.”
Dale brightened, his smile showing a full row of golden teeth. He lifted his glass for a toast, “Then let’s talk details.”
By the time they’d finished their fourth course (a spicy serving of Rigatoni Campanaro) and were served dessert (a pineapple upside down cake served with a hefty scoop of banana ice cream, delivered to the center of the table with two spoons to share) they ironed out most of the logistics of their romantic relationship.
One dinner had turned to two, then three,
and then it became private helicopter rides (“Mandatory,” Dale told him in response to his baffled expression)
and then tickets to the opera (“I’ve always wanted to go,” Peri said. “And I would definitely force you to take me”)
and then the anticipated meeting between Peri and Dale’s son (“Devin knows to play along,” Dale reassured but Peri bit his lip. He fiddled with the napkin in his lap as he said, “I still want him to like me. We are going to spending a lot of time together for those two weeks” to which Dale only snorted)
and before they knew it six months had passed and more and more of Peri’s things found a new home at the Dimmadome Tower.
“When did we get engaged?” Peri asked, eagerly digging into the ice cream. Dale pushed the dish closer to his side of the table with the tip of his finger.
“Let’s say, eight months into the relationship,” Dale said. “We got married in a courtroom two months later. Still fresh news and would explain why no one’s heard of it until now.”
Peri paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth. “That’s fast.”
“We were in love and just couldn’t wait,” Dale said, his voice taking on an exaggerated lilt. He shrugged when Peri gave him a flat look. “We’re working with a tight timeline. And it fits – I’m a very efficient man.”
Peri stared down at his dessert, watching the ice cream slowly melt into a sweet puddle at the bottom. For the first time since their meal started, his stomach tightened and churned uncomfortably and something heavy sat on his chest.
“What if…” Peri cleared his throat. “What if I can’t get you the deal with Buxaplenty?”
There was a pause as Dale regarded the younger man across the table. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs.
“Your job is to pretend that there is something about me to love. For those two weeks you’re in charge of making sure that we look like the loving, caring family that Buxaplenty thinks we can’t be. You can leave the actual business deals and discussions to me. I’m confident I can get Buxaplenty’s buy-in, I just need him to actually give me the time of day.”
Peri thought it through, popping the last bit of cake into his mouth. It was an insane plan, it was a ludicrous plan, but it was a lot of money. Money that would keep him more than comfortable while he continued on the daunting journey that was job hunting. He could actually start helping his parents with rent and groceries and car payments and…
An all expenses paid vacation did sound really nice.
It was essentially an acting gig – he could do that.
He could do that.
Peri glanced up and caught the other man staring. Dale studied him for a moment and – after gleaning something which Peri couldn’t even begin to guess – he straightened, his mouth curling at the edges.
“So Peri Fairywinkle-Cosma,”
Peri couldn’t help the way his heart skipped a beat as Dale pulled out a small velvet box from his jacket pocket and flipped open the top to reveal the shining gifts inside. Nestled in satin sat two rings, gleaming in gold. The first was a simple band, a line of small diamonds set around its entirety. The second was much more extravagant. The gold band twisted like elegant vines, winding toward its center stones: three large diamonds which sparkled impressively under the restaurant’s lighting.
He froze when Dale grabbed his hand and plucked out the engagement ring from its perch. With smooth movements, he slid the ring onto Peri’s finger. His thumb brushed the back of his hand and Peri could feel goosebumps travel along his skin.
He gulped when Dale smirked like a cat who’d caught its prey.
“Have we got a deal?”