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Slowly, he sat himself on my bed and I could feel his face, feverishly hot, drawing closer. Kissing me as my throat tingled, raw from screaming. The noise came from rustling bed sheets and the radiator. I had just realised that I speak too much now that I couldn't. I wished then that he filled that silence, the gap between what we felt and what we said. Instead, he was on top of me. That's how I knew this was real: he was never on top in my dreams, in my recollections. He would be coy, slivering around every word and action that felt desperate. Somehow, this longing turned me on.
"You have no idea how long I'd waited to do this," I drew out a shaky breath, whispering.
He kissed me and whispered back, "if only you knew how much I'd wanted to do this," taking my tongue back in his mouth. Devouring my love.
Trailing kisses down my body as he slunk down to the floor, he already knew where I was sensitive. I burned under his touch, half ashamed, half wanting more. I was desperate, and that was embarrassing. To say I want more, to plead, to be under him somehow: it felt like submission though I knew it was not. To think this was our first time in this reality and somehow it was my first time letting him top me, learning how to reconcile with my greed for power. This was about us, not power. Not an opportunity for me to dominate.
"Are you okay with this?" He hesitated as he fully made his way to his knees, hands dangerously close to my erection.
"If we don't fuck today, I think I'll actually disintegrate," I half joked.
"You're so cute like this," he teased, "I never thought you could be so embarrassed."
"Just shut up," I blushed.
"How could I do that when there's so much to say?" He gently rolled down my sweatpants and then my boxers. I knew I wanted this but I also knew that if I didn't make myself bare the momentary embarrassment of being vulnerable like this, we'd never do it. I bit my inner cheek and he started sucking me off. He'd never done it before, not with me at least. Though I seriously doubted this wasn't his first time.
"Shu," I spoke, the rasp in my voice intensifying, "use the flat surface of your tongue and try to keep from using your teeth."
I placed my hand on his head, playing with his hair as he learnt to suck my dick.
"I'm gonna push your head towards me okay?" I said, applying pressure to the back of his head.
I could feel my dick against the walls of his throat, pulsing, as he took it in and out. Ever so slowly, his mouth reddening with every thrust.
"You're doing so well Shu," I moaned, "taking it down to the base."
He put a hand up my shirt, feeling me up, fingertips barely making contact with my skin. I shivered, god he was warm. Fingers reaching my chest, he twisted my nipple as I exhaled, then pushed me down, palm pressing into my lower stomach.
"Don't stop," I gasped.
He'd been at it for a few minutes and he was certainly doing well, coming up for air every so often. I could feel the blood rush to my dick, the pressure building until my release. He kept me in his mouth, withdrawing only after a few seconds as he leaned over me, swallowing my cum.
"Look at you, so flushed, almost as if you're drunk," he took my face in his hand, "look at the mess you've made of me."
He drew my hand to his mouth. I felt his heartbeart in his lips, how red his mouth had become. I propped myself up kissing him as I let my pants slide off of me entirely, tasting myself in his mouth.
"Oh we're just getting started, Shumai," I lay him down and from there on, I knew what I was doing.
Tracing the familiar curves of his body, I peeled his shirt off, licking the bottom of his stomach.
"Do you plan on teasing me all night?" He craned his neck to look at me, ears turning crimson red in the light.
"I'd love to see you cum just from my hands on your body," I unzipped his jeans, "writhing this way and that way under me, pleading for more."
"You're such a perv," he giggled.
I could feel his goosebumps forming as I stripped him entirely, leaving only his socks. Faced with his scars, I stayed quiet. We already knew they were there, why make a fuss about them? Some felt fresh and dry under my fingers, others like untouched skin. I could tell he had made new streaks on his inner thighs. He felt as though if they were on the inside, no one would see them or feel them. Seeing how he let me lay him bare, knowing I'd see his pain under his clothing, I thought, it must have felt like he was skinning himself alive in front of me.
I kissed my way to his growing penis. Up close, I'd remembered how big he was. It was probably because he was so tall, but honestly, it still made me nervous. I'd get butterflies when I felt it in me. I decided to do something different.
Propping his legs up, I began rimming him.
"Oh my god," he whined under his breath, "you never..." he trailed off.
"Obviously I hadn't," I began stroking his cock, "tell me if I need to stop, okay?"
Making my way inside him and feeling him squirm always felt good. It was like a prize. If anything, I liked knowing he was enjoying it as he spread himself open and pushed his hips towards me, wanting more.
I slipped a finger in as he moaned, "I know this is taking a bit but I have to loosen you up, I don't want you to tear."
"I want you in me so bad," he cupped my face in his hands, "right now."
He looked so pretty like that, wanting. Craving unashamedly, saying it so plainly.
"Okay, this should do it," I slipped a condom on.
"I wanna put it in," he lined me up with himself, guiding me in, exhaling as I entered.
He was tight around me, more than I remember him being. I was beginning to think I hadn't prepped him well enough and that maybe I should pull out and continue the prep but he spoke:
"Wait a moment," he said.
"Have your moment," I lay myself on top of him as he adjusted, embracing him.
He placed his hands around my waist, kissing my neck, "thank you for being patient."
"I can feel your erection pressing against my stomach," I whispered, chuckling.
"I can also feel your growing erection pressing against my stomach," he nibbled on my ear, "except it's inside me."
I bit my lip. He had a way of being sexy these days. Assertive and clear. I almost felt embarassed now that he was flipping our roles on their heads. Oh how the turn tables.
I began thrusting, slowly, so he could get used to it. He held my hands in place as I did so, almost holding his breath.
"Breathe Shu," I kissed him, feeling him exhale into my mouth, "that's it, there you go."
"Mm," he pressed his chest against my shirt, "this won't do."
He took it off of me, feeling my cold skin against his, "how needy," I put my lips to his as I began speeding up.
"Mh," he whined into my mouth.
"You're doing so well," I held his sides in my hands as he throbbed around me.
"Ah," he wrapped his feet around my back, "right there."
"What right there?" I teased, "what do you want?"
"Please, fuck," he gasped, "keep hitting that spot."
He was beginning to get loud and as much as that turned me on, we still lived in the dorms, so he really needed to quiet down.
I began kissing him, interlocking our mouths as I fucked him. He was holding himself back from actually screaming but he was on the verge: pleading "yes", a sort of reassurance. I could feel him moan into my mouth, vibrations travelling down my throat, filling my lungs. In between kisses, I realised his damp cheeks were pressing against mine.
"Shu are you crying?" I murmured, pressing my hands against his chest.
"It feels so good," he reeled me back in, "don't stop."
"Hngh!" he whined through gritted teeth, face turning to the side as his walls wrapped around me.
He came on my stomach and I felt it drop down on to his as we stay like that, me leaning over him as he lay with his eyes closed.
I slid a finger into the small puddle formed below his chest, dragging it upwards.
"Would you look at that," I smirked, "someone looks pretty when they cum."
He opened his eyes to look at me as I licked off the puddle he made, gasping as I kissed him. It tasted sweet, somehow; It tasted like cum mostly.
"Ah," he exhaled, relieved, "god."
"Just so you know, I haven't found him up there yet," I joked, "you want me to keep going just in case I do?"
He opened his mouth, "only you would ask to go for another round like that," falsely acting shocked.
"Soo," I smiled, pressing my forehead against his.
"I just came, give me a moment," I now realised how quickly he was breathing.
He pressed me against himself once more, steadying himself.
"Shu, why were you crying?" I asked, "I wasn't too rough, was I?"
"Aw you're worried?" he kissed my cheek, "no, it was just a bit intense. It was good."