Work Text:
Madeline,
My father once told me I was so smart that I could see trouble comin' a mile away but he was wrong. Never recognized danger for what it was when it wore his face.
Louis de Pointe de Lac, my Angel. The man and the monster who saw to it that death did not take me that night in Louisiana. He'd begged the beast that made him to save me, make me like them. A real life vampire! I wish he'd of let me die. It would've been kinder.
It didn't take me more than a few weeks after it was done to understand my new circumstances. I'd never fit into the life they'd already built together.
We were all playing pretend, wearing masks with cracks we could never fill. Playing roles none of us really wanted.
Fightin' it out didn't work and neither did running away. I was always trying to push us forward and Louis...his heart never left Lestat, despite their being thousands of miles between them.
In the end, much like in the beginning, it was always me tryin' to save him from his weak boundaries. Me tryin' to get him to see reason, to see me and the life we could've made for ourselves if he wasn't constantly latching onto men who were too selfish and hardhearted to ever love him properly.
His love made him stupid. Mine made me lonely.
I thought Paris would be different for us, better for us, but I was wrong. The same hands that dragged me to the feet of his maker to save me, were the very same hands that abandoned me to the cruelties of the Théâtre des Vampires.
Before they gave me to the mercy of the sun, he reached for me, remember? I was terrified. He screamed out my name like he'd finally decided to choose me. My angel. My adversary.
Part of me feels like he only started loving me when he knew he was going to lose me for good.
He kept me on his heart but never truly in it. Close enough to know the love was there but I was only allowed to feel it, when it wasn't a threat to whoever had ownership of it at the time.
Do you understand now? These thoughts never leave me. All of those memories, the rejection, humiliation and betrayal, they play over and over and over and it's driving me insane!
I wish this was something I could work through with you but words alone won't fix this even if they are coming from your pretty mouth.
Where we're going...you and me, I can't bring all this anger, it's poison. I can't love you or myself properly with it in my heart.
I have to go back. I have to do this. Once it's done I'll come right back to you and we can finally move on together.
Madeline Eparvier, my Love, my Coven...my Choice. Know that even while I'm away, the best parts of me I've left with you.
S'il te plaît, attends-moi.
~Claudia Eparvier.