Chapter Text
Yeon Sieun.
18 years old.
Ahn Suho.
18 years old.
-The day Suho woke up from the coma was the greatest relief for everyone. For his grandmother, who adored him, for Sieun, who was there every day suffering his absence, and even for Sieun's friends who saw him suffer night and day, missing him desperately and unable to do anything.-
-It was a tense day, a really tense day. As soon as he saw him, they both greeted each other, smiled, and then Sieun burst into tears.-
-Suho felt extremely guilty seeing Sieun kneeling in front of him, holding his hands and begging him not to leave again, that he needed him and couldn't even sleep if he was gone. Sieun trembled, cried, blamed himself, and apologized as if it had been his fault.-
-After that, Sieun's friends introduced themselves and opted to leave, wanting to give them time alone. Sieun needed to be alone with Suho, he needed to talk to him, tell him so many things he wasn't able to tell him before.-
-But in the hospital room, they could only cry and hug each other to feel close, closer than they could ever be, closer than both had dreamed.-
-It was a difficult process. Sieun didn't miss any of Suho's therapy sessions, as he was his priority; even school was secondary for Sieun.-
—You can go now, Sieun ah.
—No...-He shook his head.-I'll sleep here tonight too...
–Sieun ah... I'm fine now, for real, please go back home, you have an exam tomorrow.
—I can study here.-He lifted his backpack from the floor and took out his notebook and pencil case.-It doesn't bother you, right?
—It bothers me that you neglect yourself for me, Sieun... Please, you haven't even eaten, you haven't left here.
-Sieun had a deep fear: that Suho would leave again. He was afraid to leave and then come back to find Suho were gone. He was terrified of losing him forever.-
-The doctors already knew Sieun, so they had even brought in a reclining chair for him to rest next to Suho's bed whenever he stayed there.-
—Please, let me stay...
—Mmh... But only tonight, no more nights after this.
—Why...?-He looked at him discouraged.-I just want to keep you company.
—Because...-Suho smiled.-I'm being discharged tomorrow. I can go back home, Sieun, I don't have to stay in the hospital anymore.
-Sieun's eyes widened in surprise. After five months in the hospital, Suho could leave.-
—Suho...
—We don't have to come back to the hospital, Sieun. The therapy will be at my house, they'll come to evaluate me weekly.
—Oh...-He smiled and looked away, feeling somewhat embarrassed. He didn't like Suho seeing him smile; for some reason, it embarrassed him.-That's really good.
-Sieun worried a lot about Suho, and vice versa. Sieun was now thinner, paler. All he did was go from school to the hospital and from the hospital to his house, every single day. He often forgot to eat, and Suho's grandmother would often bring him something to feed him, so Suho had to force him to eat, because Sieun was so worried about seeing him well that he was forgetting about himself.-
-He still clearly remembered that day during one of their many deep talks: Sieun cried inconsolably while asking for forgiveness for breaking his promise. "Suho, I'm so sorry, I fought a lot while you were gone."-
-Or when Sieun wanted to distance himself from all his other friends because he had dreamed that they hurt Suho again. It had been difficult afterward to make Sieun understand that none of what had happened was his fault, and when he finally succeeded, Sieun allowed himself to smile more often.-
...
-Suho was finally home. He was sitting on his bed; Sieun was beside him, and they were taking a photo.-
-Both were holding hands, but they didn't say anything about it, even though both were thinking about it.-
—My grandmother said we don't have another bed to set up, so I'll sleep on the couch.-Said Suho, a warm smile drawn on his face.-
—No, I'll sleep on the couch. You're still recovering.
—Then let's both sleep in the bed. I won't let you sleep on that couch; it's super hard and awkward. I sometimes slept there, and god, the back pain. Does sleeping together bother you?
—To be honest, it doesn't bother me.
—Then I'll lend you some pajamas so you can sleep comfortably.-He let go of his hand and got up to head toward the closet.-
-He walked slowly but much better than he did initially. He grabbed some comfortable clothes and gave them to Sieun, who went to change his clothes in the bathroom while Suho dressed in the room.-
-Once both were ready, they turned off the lights and left the night lamp on. They lay down, trying to keep their distance, though it was almost impossible; Suho naturally moved closer because he was cold.-
-They felt warmer being together. They weren't hugging; they were just together, they were close, and that was pleasant. Suho moved his hand closer to Sieun's and intertwined their fingers before closing his eyes.-
-Before all this, Sieun barely let Suho touch him. He would get annoyed, push him away, and tell him not to touch him, but ever since he woke up, Sieun accepted every sign of affection Suho gave him, until they both got used to it and it became completely normal.-
—Suho... Your room smells good.-He said as he closed his eyes and breathed softly.-It's a perfect atmosphere for studying.
—My grandmother always puts essences in the house. Maybe you smell some of that.
—I'm sleepy, I'm going to sleep now.
-Suho smiled. He knew Sieun had been sleeping poorly ever since he went into a coma, and even after he woke up, Sieun continued to sleep poorly, always waiting for Suho to fall asleep before doing so himself.-
-But now Sieun was starting to fall asleep first, and for Suho, this was like watching an angel. He loved seeing him rest because he knew everything Sieun had gone through by staying there, taking care of him.-
...
-It was 10:30 AM. Suho was awake, looking at his phone while Sieun slept beside him, hugging a plushie.-
-Suho usually slept a lot, but for some reason today, there was a feeling telling him he couldn't keep sleeping.-
-Besides, it was nice to hear the little snores Sieun let out due to his exhaustion. He found it endearing to listen to him, and it made him happy to see him resting.-
-11:30 AM. Sieun slowly opened his eyes and rubbed them. He looked to his side; Suho was looking at his phone.-
—Suho.-He touched his shoulder.-What time is it?
—Half past eleven.
-Sieun hadn't gone to school because he had overslept.-
—I overslept...-He sighed.-I was too comfortable... It's your fault.
—I'm sorry, you looked tired, and I didn't want to wake you up.-He put his phone aside.-It's only one day... You'll go back to the academy soon, and you'll make it up.
—Don't worry. I didn't feel like going anyway.
—I was reading all the messages you sent me.-He had already read them many times before, to be honest.-You didn't seem to like Humin much.-He chuckled softly.-
—Well, he was annoying at first. Then I got used to it.
—My grandmother also sent me messages. Not as many as you, to be honest, but she sent me photos of some things she was doing. I have several photos of you going out to eat with my grandmother. You smiled very nicely in the pictures. You looked like a pretty boy.
—That's embarrassing.-He covered his face with the sheets.-I invited her out to eat many times because that's what you would have done, or so I think... You always wanted to eat.
—And you are absolutely right.
—I know.
—Your friends also said you wouldn't stop talking about me when I was in a coma. And my heart almost stopped when I read that a truck had hit you...
—The truck thing... Better not remind me. There was a time when I couldn't cross the street unless someone else crossed first.
-Suho just smiled, because now Sieun no longer crossed with fear, though he did so with great caution.-
-He subtly took the younger's hand and intertwined their fingers, gently stroking his knuckles. It was a very intimate contact for both of them, and one they only shared between themselves.-
-But they didn't dare to go further. Hugs were scarce, and that was as far as they could go with each other. Sieun was not affectionate at all, but Suho made him feel more comfortable with these contacts.-
-Sometimes Suho wanted to hug him, to kiss him, to do everything he had always wanted. But how could he explain to Sieun that he didn't see him just as a friend? How could he make Sieun notice him?-
-That love he felt for Sieun was a feeling that intensified every second of the day, and it got stuck in his chest; he couldn't express it.-