Archive of Our Own ^beta

One moment, the Honmoon was golden and everything was going perfectly.

The next, Takedown was playing and Rumi was doing her best to keep her composure, to make it look natural, like this had been planned.

Any feelings about it could be let out about the change later. 

She was already feeling betrayed, but then they started tearing off her jacket.

Revealing her patterns against her will.

How did they know?

Rumi tried to keep her composure, but she ended up running off of the stage, realizing that it had been a set up, that they weren't Mira and Zoey...

But now Mira and Zoey knew and they were pointing their weapons at Rumi, like she was a danger, like she really was a demon.

Rumi fumbled over her words, trying desperately to get them to listen to her but she said the wrong things and they wouldn't listen.

She took off again, frantic, wondering why Jinu went against the plan.

She found him with the demons who had been Zoey and Mira. 

They argued; she realized that everything was falling apart and she had failed.

There was only one thing she could think of to do.

She went to Celine and begged the woman who raised and trained her to kill her.

She refused.

Then to add insult to injury, she couldn't even look at Rumi, and Rumi knew. 

She knew that Celine had never loved her.

She knew one thing by the end. She couldn't keep hiding anymore.

It was over. They had lost. 

Unless...

Rumi formed a plan quickly, desperately.

She had no idea if it would work.

Could they make a new Honmoon that wasn't based on hiding their flaws and fears and shame? Could they do something that no hunters had dared to do since the Honmoon first came into existence?

They had to try.

It took her a bit to figure out where everyone went.

She couldn't figure out what happened to Mira and Zoey but she felt like they might have joined the crowd. They were just as upset as she was, feeling just as betrayed as she had by that forced reveal of her deepest secret and shame.

She arrived and it took seconds to realize how close everyone was to walking into Gwi-Ma's fire.

Rumi got their attention. She let Gwi-Ma think he won, just for a second, before starting a song from the heart.

(She had never been so grateful that while it was best for them to have practiced the songs so that they were perfect, hunters could sing from the heart, without ever having thought of a single lyric before that moment)

Almost immediately, she saw two lights.

Zoey and Mira.

She prayed that this worked even as she kept walking and singing. She prayed that they accepted her apology and joined in. 

That they could make a new Honmoon.

To her relief, they jumped in to sing, and before long they were fighting much like they had before.

But... it felt different.

Rumi had never felt so sure of herself, so confident. 

It was all going well until Gwi-Ma attacked her... and then Jinu sacrificed himself.

That was enough to give them the upper hand, especially as the audience provided their own souls to help, though in a different way than Jinu's sacrifice.

Rumi had known that it was possible to connect with people so much that their souls would aid in the fight, but she had never expected to experience it.

Then it was all over.

As the song faded, everyone was confused as to what happened and how they even got there...

And how was it already morning?

Rumi just wanted to collapse in her room and melt until she forgot about the betrayal and terror and everything that had made her go to Celine and yell at Celine before she made her choice.

Fortunately, before anyone could bug them with questions, Bobby was on stage with them, ushering them away and telling them they'd wait and see what came out of the night before they gave any statements, see how much they could get away with saying.

...and that was how Rumi, Zoey, and Mira found out that Bobby had known the whole time because he wasn't stupid and he had seen Celine training them and gotten glimpses of their injuries in the past.

Which meant with everything over, he had a pretty good idea of what happened and just needed them to explain a bit more.

As they debated on who much to explain to the public and what to do about Rumi's patterns and how long of a break to take...

The exhaustion started setting in.

And with the exhaustion, Rumi realized she was... oddly sore.

She didn't say anything and waited until they wound down to retreat to take a nap.

At which point she discovered that she had been scratched by the fakes on stage, which wasn't too bad, just some nasty cuts that ached.

But she had also apparently twisted her ankle and maybe done something else. It was hard to say with how sore she was.

Rumi snuck out of her room to grab some ice and then retreated, deciding not to share the injuries with anyone. 

They didn't need to know. She had caused them enough trouble.

Especially since Bobby now had to figure out how to explain what happened at the Idol Awards.

Everyone seemed to understand something supernatural had been happening with the Saja Boys and that Huntrix had saved them.

The simplest way to handle it was to keep it at that, but that also meant not being able to explain why Rumi and Zoey turned on her.

Or maybe they could, but Rumi didn't like the idea of them claiming that and owning that they had turned on her when they discovered her patterns.

Because ultimately, that was her fault. The moment Jinu found out, she should have admitted it to them.

When they started writing Takedown and it started hitting too close to home as they might as well have been singing about her... she should have said something.

She should have stopped listening to Celine years ago.

She should have trusted Mira and Zoey.

Rumi was certain that they wouldn't have handled it well but they would have come around, and without all the drama that had just happened.

But... part of her thought this had turned out for the best, that the Honmoon they had created together was better.

Who knows how long it would have taken them to decide to do things differently otherwise?

Rumi let out a breath and laid down, keeping her leg propped up and staring at the ceiling.

She stayed there until she felt Derpy nudging her.

"What are you doing here?” she asked, petting him. "I suppose you're good spirits though... you wouldn't be affected by the Honmoon... but... Jinu is gone. And you liked hanging around him anyway."  Rumi let out a sigh and kept petting the tiger, feeling a bit better for him being there. 

She ended up taking a nap and not leaving her room until MIra checked on her for dinner.

Rumi hurriedly responded that she'd be there, then made sure that her cuts weren't visible and checked on her ankle.

It was a bit swollen but it was fine.

She was fine.

Rumi took a moment to test her ankle, grateful for Derpy leaning on her so that she stayed upright when the pain surprised her.

Somehow, it was both better and worse than before.

After a moment, Rumi decided to wrap her ankle so that it was more supported and then cover it with a sock to hide it.

That was better.

Rumi made it through dinner without anyone noticing something was up.

Bobby gave them all the updates and then informed them that there were just three interviews, one photoshoot and one signing, and then they would have three months off.

Rumi would have preferred to start immediately, but making sure things were smoothed over before taking a break was a good idea. She just really wanted the break because it was definitely need.

Rumi only managed to avoid everyone for the next day, as Zoey and Mira wanted to talk about everything, especially after Zoey gave Takedown another listen and realized how much of it could have applied to Rumi back then.

Fortunately, they didn't notice the scratches and cuts she was covering up, and she was able to get away with staying off her feet as much as possible so they didn't notice that she was dealing with an injured ankle.

The first of the three interviews went off without a hitch, as did the signing.

Then came the second of the interviews. This one they had to answer some harder questions, but they still were able to manage it, to their relief.

They didn't want to make things worse for themselves, after all. They needed to be able to maintain the Honmoon.

But fortunately, it seemed that their popularity was already getting back to normal, at least partially thanks to their status as hunters, something they would try not to take for granted again.

It was still hard to answer some questions and acknowledge that they had all kept secrets but they were working on it and no longer had so many secrets. 

Rumi was feeling pretty good at the end, just one more interview and a photoshoot. A photo shoot where she was going to show off her patterns in some of the pictures and in others wear the matching outfits with the others. 

She was still excited about exploring a wardrobe that didn't revolve around hiding her patterns.

...she forgot to consider how much posing was involved in photoshoots. 

At first it was fine. Dress up and put on make up, then sitting and posing.

Then they stood up for pictures.

That was a problem.

She'd been resting her ankle plenty, so Rumi hoped she could get through it, but it only took five minutes before Bobby was looking between the foot the photographer kept repositioning and Rumi's face with a growing look of concern.

Zoey and Mira weren't too far behind in putting it together, calling for a break as Bobby hurried over. They dragged Rumi to sit down, away from others so that no one had to see the little conflict.

"You're hurt aren’t you?" Mira asked.

"I thought we agreed not to keep things from each other anymore!" Zoey exclaimed.

"I'm okay," Rumi replied. "It's just-"

Bobby was already checking her foot, and had discovered the brace she had given in and bought a day in.

"...Rumi, that doesn't look like you're okay," Mira said slowly. "What happened?"

Rumi sighed and slumped, rubbing her arm. It was still weird to be out in public with her patterns showing, no matter how nice it was, and sometimes she missed the comfort of sleeves pressing down on her arms, especially her hoodies.

"It was the Idol Awards.. when the demons attacked me on stage. They left scratches and I must have twisted my ankle at some point. Didn't even realize it until after we had split up to clean up and get some rest."

"It looks a bit swollen." Bobby said, setting her foot down and sitting down next to her while Mira hovered and Zoey paced, muttering to herself.

Rumi sighed. "Yeah, I know... It's been getting better, I've been resting it every chance I get and I've been icing it at night and whenever I'm alone."

"You should have told us. Why didn't you?" Mira asked.

"I didn't want you to feel guilty."

Mira frowned, confused, but before she could ask, Zoey's ramblings became a bit louder, and it was clear that she hadn't even been listening.

"If this happened at the Idol Awards that means Rumi was hurt and we didn't even notice because we were too hurt and we've let her down even more and-"

"...okay yeah, that's a good reason for us to be guilty," Mira acknowledged. 

"You shouldn't be. There was a lot going on, and I didn't even realize that it was bad until afterwards," Rumi assured her. "Even while confronting Gwi-Ma I didn't notice!"

Mira sighed. "Alright, but you really should have told us... at least keep Zoey from spiraling..."

Rumi winced as Zoey kicked the curb. She sighed and stood up, taking a little more care with her ankle this time.

She grabbed Zoey by the shoulders.

"This is not your fault. I didn't want to worry anyone and I thought I could handle it. I've handled issues in the past that could have exposed my patterns without letting on to you, it's just a bad habit and I didn't want to make you and Mira feel worse."

"But Rumi, we didn't know."

"I know. I'm sorry. I-I'm not used to sharing and sometimes I think I deserve the pain and that has nothing to do with what you and Mira are or aren't doing, okay?"

Zoey hugged her tightly.

Rumi sighed and hugged her back before using that to get Zoey back over to Bobby and Mira and so that she could sit down.

"You have to tell us when you're hurt. What if we hurt you more because we didn't know?" Zoey asked. "What if you made it worse because you were just trying to act like everything was normal?"

"We want to know these things so we can help," Mira added. "I thought we agreed to stop keeping secrets."

"We agreed to doing our best to share secrets and admit to having them," Rumi reminded her. "Not that we would share everything because I'm sure there's stuff that's hard for all of us to talk about. I certainly never want to talk about some of my memories of growing up before I had you two."

Zoey sighed. "I guess that makes sense but... I still want to know when you're hurt. Especially since you're apparently too good at hiding it."

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"I still don't get why it happened," MIra said.

Bobby sighed. "I think I know."

"You do?" they all asked, surprised.

"This is because you were forced to reveal yourself, isn't it?" he asked Rumi.

"What?"

"You've been in control of your patterns and yourself your whole life. On that stage, you lost that control, you couldn't keep your composure, and you didn't get to reveal yourself on your own terms. And then you chose not to tell us about the injuries you got, the one thing from that day that's really in your control."

"...damn Bobby." Mira was the only one who spoke in the silence that followed.

Sometimes, Bobby could be incredibly insightful on top of being their number one cheerleader, but it always took them by surprise.

Rumi looked down at her hands, tracing the patterns, grateful that accepting herself didn't mean she had to look part demon if she didn't want to. She could let any part appear if she wanted, but the claws were her least favorite part. She didn't mind the change in her eyes or face at all.

Maybe Bobby was right. Maybe she was just trying to have a bit more control out of a situation that had sucked. Tell herself she didn't totally lose it.

"I think... I think you might be right but... that's no excuse I shouldn't have kept it secret, that was stupid. And it's not like we didn't kick ass later, once I calmed down enough to come up with a plan... Well, more an idea really, but... yeah. I don't know why that didn't matter."

"Because you never lose control." Mira sighed, sitting down on her other side.

Zoey nodded and kept pacing, having too much energy to sit down and stay still especially after sitting through some of the photoshoot already. 

"Ever," Zoey added, waving her arms for emphasis. "I wanted to have control like yours but I could never manage it despite how hard I tried and I never expected to see you lose control like that. It was scary and I didn't know how to react but I felt so bad about it afterwards, and realizing how much we had been pushing you, it was so obvious no wonder you were so out of it, but we just thought you were letting the pressure get to you and I guess you were but it was way way more than that and far far worse and I'm so sorry we weren't there for you when you needed us."

"I'm so sorry I didn't even tell you about Jinu," Rumi replied. "That was a really bad idea in hindsight and I just... there was so much more I could have done."

"Yeah, there is but now we're here," Bobby pointed out. "And our break is only going to last another five minutes so we need to wrap this up and come up with a plan."

"We do need pictures standing up, but... maybe we get like... two more done and then we switch to at least having Rumi sitting even if we're not?"

"I think I can manage that. The real problem is I'm not sure I can keep my foot the way he wants it."

"Then maybe we'll stick to upper body shots? Still means we're standing, but as long as we look good, the position of our feet don't matter at all."

"That could be good." 

Rumi relaxed. "Sorry about this."

"Nah, we got you. We get through this, and then through the last interview, and then we're on break for three months. You'll have plenty of time to recover."

"You're right." Rumi stood up. "I'm ready, let's get this over with. And maybe once it's better we can go to the bathhouse?"

"Yes!" Zoey punched the air.