Work Text:
Ichimatsu was a very, very good artist. At least that was Choromatsu's opinion. He would love to sit and just watch his younger brother scribble and draw beautiful images for hours on end. It was entertaining to watch the way the pen would sweep over the paper in significant curves and lines forming figures that turned into people with lovely hair and clothes. Choro's favorite part was always watching these drawings be colored in. The way Ichimatsu would blend and combine colors was graceful and definitely pleasing to his eye. His green eyes would follow the marker tip across the page back and forth watching the spaces be filled and brought to life.
Sometimes Ichimatsu would even ask his older brother if he was interested in watching him. He'd be seated at the family desktop with the tablet he and Karamatsu shared (along with Jyushimatsu or Todomatsu on occasion) and give Choro a glance over the shoulder and sit still until the older would notice. The older would happily get up from his seat and pull up a chair. Ichimatsu's digital coloring was amazing to watch and it baffled the green Matsu.
Another thing Choromatsu knew about Ichimatsu is that he would sometimes post his works online. It was no surprise to find Ichimatsu had plenty of fans, but somehow Choromatsu felt left out...
He was sitting in a common cafe one day, working on another resume on his own personal laptop when he suddenly grew curious as to what Ichimatsu had and hadn't posted. He wanted to know what art Ichimatsu kept between them. Those were the most special. So with a click of his mouse and a clack of his keyboard he found himself on Ichimatsu's page where he posted, scrolling through and admiring the works (which were all digital). Suddenly the tab's label changed and showed him a "(1)". In hopes of it going away, he refreshed the page, but was instead met with a written text post.
"if you even care heres this thing [link]"
Choromatsu felt a switch flip on inside him, and instinct took over as he clicked on the link. It was a live stream of Ichimatsu drawing. A smile spread on Choro's face as he sat, palms cradling his cheeks happily as he watch those fluid curves and lines appear across the screen. On the right side of the screen a chat box was dinging faintly showing incoming viewer messages. "Draw something cute!" "Blood Blood Blood" "dude you should like rip out the porn?" Choro was taken back by the requests but then watched as a response came up from the host himself.
"i know what im doing"
Please continued to talk with one another as they watched his little brother draw, Choromatsu himself, on the other hand, was more fixated on what Ichimatsu was creating. The curves looked cartoonish and silly, the strokes pulling out the shape of a head complete with hair, ears and eyes. He then moved onto the body, drawing a large sweatshirt and pants. Soon the image formed a boy with a gentle "v" shaped smile on his lips and his little hands stuffed into the middle pocket. The drawing was adorable and it made Choromatsu want to sqeauk in delight.
He began to frequent Ichimatsu's streams after that, never talking, just watching, just as he did at home. It was calming, it always managed to relax his pent up anxiety for the time. Ichimatsu was also surprisingly kind to his viewers compared to how he was with his brothers compliments. He'd thank them or try to humbly brush it off, "it" being the compliment rather than the giver.
Another connection Choromatsu had with his younger brother was that Ichimatsu was very easy to talk to. He was especially good to speak to when he was troubled, always trying to pitch into helping him feel better. Choro would also do the same for Ichi, doing his best to calm his brother down if he was upset over something, looking out for him like an angel... or even a goddess. It was amazing that even though they rarely interacted together publicly, they had a very tight and trusting friendship. It was comforting to have someone there for you that was closer to you. Karamatsu, while good at comfort, made it painful sometimes. Osomatsu was rarely help he'd just joke it off and get you to laugh along, which worked until he was done an then the stress came back. Really, the younger brothers weren't much either.
But while the two middle brothers were close, Choromatsu had a constant pondering to how he felt about Ichimatsu. Sometimes when his hands feel empty he wishes he could feel Ichimatsu snake between his fingers and squeeze. Sometimes Choro would imagine if it would feel good to tell his little brother he loves him and have Ichimatsu say it back to him. They were typical questions you would ask yourself about somebody close, Choro determined, if you had a crush. The last part took a long time to soak in, but while watching one of Ichimatsu's streams, it settled in suddenly, causing him to close out of the window extremely fast.
Choromatsu Matsuno has a crush on his little brother.
The sentence sat in the back of his mind for a long time, festering and trying to prod him. Until one day, Choromatsu was reminded that he was going to be leaving. Very soon. And for a while. It scared him, thinking of what could happen in such a short amount of time. He worried about all his brothers, of course, but Ichimatsu got a little more attention from his worried brain. Ichimatsu was known to not take as much care of himself, and it scared Choro a lot.
He did wish he could just slide the thought of a crush away, but ever since high school he was never able to unless he confessed. So maybe that's what he'd have to do.
"To do: Confess your crush on Ichimatsu to him before you go."
He never did.