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There were many implications related to having a friend/rival/partner who yearned for death.
It wasn't like Chuuya was following him around traveling and taking care of him like a faithful mother. For that, Dazai had his friends who seemed - surprise of surprises - worry about him. So, outside of missions, Nakahara Chuuya wasn't watching over his partner, like the dog Dazai liked to call him.
However, within a mission, Chuuya was not someone to let Dazai play with the possibilities of dying. But Dazai had always enjoyed doing tasteless challenges.
It would always be something like this.
He could already hear Dazai's annoying little voice in his head.
"Chuuyaaa you have three choices"
A- you save me and I won't die.
"What a bother!"
B- Ah we both die
"Ew I'd hate to die with Chuuya.Yuck!"
C- you do nothing and I die
"Preferably, I prefer you to choose B or C. Take a bullet and die!"
That was something typical of missions. Missions that would decide whether the city would be destroyed, whether hundreds would die or whether they would be saved.
Those had been the thoughts Nakahara Chuuya had whenever Dazai decided to play with the possibilities of dying.
Even with three choices, Chuuya considered a forth choice.
"How about we saving everyone and no one dies?!"
The only one - the one that saved everyone.
Dazai included. Although it would often offer a major risk to himself, but having a weapon inside him and after having been on death's door-
Chuuya honestly didn't care.
It would be much worse to see it collapse from the surroundings because Chuuya had done nothing to change that outcome.
It had been a golden rule for as long as he could remember.
That said, he wasn't Dazai's babysitter, and if it was necessary, the boss or that mafia member who refused to kill could solve the problem.
Even though Chuuya wasn't actively around Dazai, he still saw him almost always. In the hallways or even on solo missions.
And because of that... Chuuya supposed he could call him... best friend. Well he was the only one left of his other friends.
Even though he couldn't stand the executive's guts, inevitably Chuuya had grown fond of Dazai, slowly.
And with limits set.
He didn't follow him like that scrawny boy Akutagawa - Chuuya hadn't seen him often, but the boy looked seriously ill.
In reality, most of the time it would be Dazai who would irritate him. He'd take the first step like a cat.
He would often, shamelessly, interrupt Chuuya's work for the sake of videogames or something. Or to accompain him to missions.
But Chuuya could bear it, after all, days and days and they had both grown apart given the mafia hierarchy.
Despite Dazai not really caring about it, considering that his closest friend was also the lowest ranked mafia member - Dazai had the pleasure of throwing his promotion at Chuuya's face.
And yes, it made his blood boil, but when did what Dazai said not make him angry?
It was Dazai, after all, and he did it on purpose.
Still, Chuuya - reluctantly considered him his closest friend.
Besides, Dazai had his moments of grace.
His cheerful personality - albeit false - sometimes reminded Chuuya of... Albatross.
So all the irritation was... was worth it. He didn't feel so alone with that ray of sunshine that everyone considered to be made out of the greatest darkness.
That was the truth. Dazai had done a lot for him, even though Chuuya hated to admit it.
And the least he could do was protect him in return and put up with his partner's whims - occasionally of course.
All of this, until one day.
One day when everything changed.
"Worry not Chuuya-kun" Mori Ougai with his lilac eyes and a faint glow in the shadow of his office had said "Your doubt is understandable, after all Dazai-kun was your best friend"
At that, Chuuya stiffened. And such reaction would have been imperceptible for a human being, but not for Mori. Not to the man to whom Chuuya swore loyalty.
He placed both elbows on the table, fingers gloved hands languidly intertwined.
"Dazai-kun's situation will be dealt accordingly to the Port Mafia's methods of treating their traitors"
Chuuya did not show a reaction. He had worked enough with the man. Enough to know his methods.
Dazai was intelligent - and yes Chuuya was able to recognize his former partner's genius. But if there was anyone capable of rivaling his intelligence, it would be Mori Ougai.
Said one had let out a tired, almost annoyed sigh, probably due to Chuuya's lack of expressiveness.
"Well, that's a bother." he sighed again "But worry not, we'll deal with it accordingly." his eyes flashed, laced with the demonic glow that made Chuuya shiver, rose to his direction and Mori spoke. Slowly and lowly "Assuming he hasn't killed himself before, that is"
Silence hung in the air. And Nakahara Chuuya was sure his calculated inexpressiveness had been broken.
The corner of Mori's mouth had lifted a little in a deliberately radiant, but almost nonexistent, smile. A few seconds or milliseconds passed - Chuuya didn't know, his mind was fairly bland - and then he rose up with another sigh.
"Well I think that's all for now. You're dismissed" he said, gesturing with his hand for Chuuya to leave.
It was embarassing. But it took Chuuya another three or four seconds to swallow his surprise, astonishment, disbelief - whatever it was, he couldn't quite explain it - before he leaned forward in a bow.
The hat in the hand was placed again on the top of his head and he walked towards the door.
In steps.
In heavy and indecisive steps.
The hand reached for the doorknob and he murmured out of pure respect an "Excuse me" pulling it down and leaving the office.
The door hit the column as it should, as it had been drawn with a squeaking and a painful creaking.
But Chuuya didn't even listen. In his head, all that remained was the picture Dazai's body in some alley.
He swallowed his emotions and walked down the hallway.
The purple, shiny stained glass windows, took him back to the memories of the first day he had seen Dazai in the mafia.
Suddenly, he stopped walking, head held high.
Mori hadn't said that Dazai was undoubtedly dead. He had only said that there would be a possibility that he would be dead.
Of course, Dazai never hid his burning desire to die. Chuuya was more inclined towards this hypothesis than Dazai having become a traitor.
As far as Chuuya had known him, Dazai was a lazy person. He would have been a bother to hide from the mafia. And he would rather prefer to kill himself than be killed by the mafia.
Because that would be his fate if Dazai was found. Chuuya was fully aware of this.
However, and just like Dazai's two favorite hypotheses - considering the smile he used to offer when Chuuya went to save him:
'You save me and I don't die.'
'You save me but we both die'
There was a 50% chance of whether Dazai was alive or not.
Chuuya hadn't saved him this time, and after learning, days later, about the death of Dazai's friend, he thought he was starting to understand a little about his former partner.
Oda had died, Dazai - in clear pain - had disappeared, without saying a thing. But since Dazai was Dazai, there was no guarantee to Chuuya that he had just disappeared out of nowhere.
There were many hypotheses and the existence of the former executive's suicidal tendencies, didn't help.
But he ended up using some missions to check the surroundings, in the meager hope of knowing if Dazai was alive.
Akutagawa, inclusively, had also volunteered to help.
"Dazai-san has to pay" like a wild beast, Akutagawa had said.
Well, Chuuya did want to kill Dazai, but to do so he would have to know if he was... well... alive.
That had been the only reason Chuuya was wasting time looking for his ex-partner.
Only to then kill him.
Kick the shit out of him.
And the sudden dedication that Chuuya began to have after becoming an executive was exponentially greater than before.
Kouyou had praised him with that elegant air, during a quiet afternoon tea between the two.
It was then that Kouyou touched on a subject.
"I think we are doing relatively well without Dazai-kun" she said and looked above the cup's rim to Chuuya's disgusted expression "Thanks to you, Chuuya-kun" she sipped her drink quietly.
Chuuya, for his part, hadn't said anything. He pressed his lips together, finishing his tea, setting the cup down with a soft click on the saucer.
Kouyou hummed. "By the way, do you happen to have the gift the Boss gave you when you got your promotion?" she asked.
Chuuya frowned.
"You meant the wine bottle, Ane-san?" he asked.
In addition to offering Chuuya's biological family, Mori had offered an extremely expensive bottle of Petrus 89.
Kouyou touched the cup as she nodded "Yes, that one"
Well... effectively, Chuuya had kept the bottle inside his office. It was wine of high quality and he had the intent to use it for a special ocasion.
The bottle should still be in his office, and that's what he replied to Kouyou. But she shook her head negatively.
"It is not." she answered relatively disapointed "The reason I brought this up was precisely because I couldn't find it." she pointed out gently.
Oh...
Well, Chuuya knew that his Ane-san shared the same taste for expensive wines as he did.
The bottle of wine was of high quality, Chuuya in his right mind would never drink, alone and in one night only.
It was a bottle to drink in case of big events to celebrate. Big deals. Great occasions. Those stuffs.
And those days, the most notable event in those days would be Dazai's disappearance.
Kouyou looked at him with an expression of controlled analysis and an apprehension implicit in the curve of her lips.
Chuuya didn't respond. He looked lost in thought.
He tried to remember something that would make him understand the disappearance of the bottle, because if it hadn't been Kouyou, much less one of her girls, and Akutagawa didn't drink-
So there was only one answer. Kouyou sighed, closing her eyes.
"Chuuya-kun, did you happen to drink the bottle alone?" she slowly asked. As Chuuya didn't answer she sighed "I'll take that silence as affirmative." her lips twiched a bit "I was
hopping we could save it for a big occasion."
Like his partner's departure and his potential death.
He didn't know which one was worse.
Kouyou continued, anyways.
"But I suppose it was your gift, you are free to do what you want, boy" she declared "Just be careful with your low tolerance" she chuckled.
Chuuya couldn't bring himself to answer.
The one week executive was too busy remembering the night he drankhismelf to oblivion.
He couldn't remember the taste of the wine, but he did remember sending some texts and audios.
He sighed a bit perturbed. Luckily he was able enough to hide it.
He'll have to check those audios later.
And texts.
And whatever he had done that night.
His head throbbed as if it refused to remember the events of that night/day/morning.
Maybe it would be preferable this way.
Finally he looked at Kouyou, who was muching on some biscuits of butter and flour.
"Don't worry Ane-san. I'll promise I'll share it with you, next time" he managed to promise.
Kouyou looked at him for a while and then, smiled little as she gently rose from her seat.
"Take care boy." she said as a farewell and Chuuya nodded towards her, politely.
After eating his last biscuit, watching her leave the room, Chuuya let out the air he didn't know he had been holding. If he had really drank that expensive bottle to celebrate his ex-partner's disappearence /death/suicide - in the end it didn't matter, he was gone -
Then, Chuuya guessed he had congratulated Dazai's echo. But when he checked those voice messages-
"'udos to you- you bastard ."his own voice echoed through the speaker "I guess y' got finally what you wanted right?" a long pause And the sound of a greedy swallow "You better be dead on some ditch 'couse if I find you, I'll fucking kill you Dazai"
And then.
"And in case you are alive, die. Die, Dazai. Kill yourself. " a pause, it looked like a sniff, Chuuya's own sniff thought the speaker. It was so weird that Chuuya covered the speaker with his hand so that the sound would come out muffled.
"Your friend died." a pause "You are a fucking coward." a sniff, a very clearly drunk sniff "You left, you died, killed yourself at this point I dunno" a another sniff " Nor I care. So
here's a Petrus to your sorry ass, assole."
And then.
"If I see you again dead or alive, I'll kill you"
The messages ended.
Perhaps out of embarassment, with an expressionless face Chuuya deleted the audios.
"He's probably dead anyways" he muttered.
Oh well, less of Dazai on his life.
Just like it had been less of the sheep.
Less of Albatross, Pianoman, Lippman, Doc and Iceman.
Less of his mafia friends.
It was just... normal.
People arrived and left.
And was as simple as that.
But if that were the case...
Why would Chuuya allow himself to wish for them to stay a little more?
Was it too much to ask?
To not be alone?
Days went by and Chuuya, no matter how hard it was to admit it, kept trying to find Dazai.
As expected, no such luck.
He kept doing his life as normal the whole time. He had enough of those.
After a few months, he finally- but bitterly became familiar with the concept of Dazai Osamu having died.
"Well, guess the bastard's kicked the bucket" he said, softly.
He never talked this to anyone.
The person who was eventually grieving was Akutagawa, but Chuuya didn't just want talk to him about that. Not to him, when he was fully aware Dazai had been Akutagawa's beloved mentor.
Chuuya never made a memorial. He refused to collaborate and honor his ex-partner's and friend's eventual decision to end his own life. But he did think about him sometimes. More than he'd like to admit.
Specially when he started to mentor Akutagawa.
Dazai was now a distant echo of a past.
Existing, real, striking but incredibly painful.
Just like everyone Chuuya had met in the past.
Rain drops fell on his face when he visited once again, his family's grave.
But he stayed there anyways.
Let it rain, let it snow, let the sun shine.
Let the world end, let death arrive-
He would never look back.
But he would never forget either.