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They used to sit by the breakwater and watch the sunset together. That was the closest thing to a routine that they ever had. They couldn't afford the small joys of other couples, the trivial things that made their life one led by two together; so they sat and pretended their life was something more beautiful than simple survival. There was no need for stealing or running when the wind blew, the waves rocked and the sky became a mix of orange and purple, just like they were. Nami's hair was short back then, but Carina's had always been long. She loved to play with it while they kissed. It was soft in a way Nami's had never been. In a way Nami would never be.
Carina was staring into her eyes now, the closest they had been in over three years. The lights were off and the rest of the strawhats were already sleeping in preparation for their mission tomorrow, but the two of them were awake, lying in the same bed, face to face. Nami reached out and traced her lips with her thumb. Carina grabbed her hand and held it against her cheek.
Her eyes had the blue glint of moonlight, but Nami could only see those sunsets.
They had met at twelve and run together for almost five years. Back at the start, neither of them was that good at stealing; Carina still had a scar on her back from when a shopkeeper had caught them with his money before they could make a run for it. He had swung his sword towards Nami, but Carina had jumped in between them, shielding her. The cut hadn't been deep, but it burned as they walked together to the breakwater that day, trying their best to rein in their tears from fear and pain. In the end, they hugged each other and cried together until the moon started to fade away from the sky. There were a few more days like that, with one taking blows meant for the other then holding hands as they ran silently in the dark, but they learned fast. They had to.
They scooched closer in bed, foreheads touching. There was so much Nami wanted to say, so many words that had been trapped on the tip of her tongue since that last day. It hadn't been their plan to split up like that. They used to always believe they had tomorrow. Not forever, but certainly tomorrow. No matter what.
The first time Nami had used her body to get money, she had refused to leave the sea until the sun came up. It was nothing much; the right pose here, the right touch there, an innocent smile that distracted the man old enough to be her father from where exactly on his belt her hand was landing. As soon as his wallet had been secured, Carina had come in and dragged her out, yelling some believable enough lie about how she was needed elsewhere right now. She sent the man a pitiful smile, and he ran his eyes over her body in return. A body that had barely felt hers before, with that burning mark on her shoulder, and that now felt even less. Nami would rather give her body to the ocean than to any man, so she gave the money of the day to Carina and jumped in the sea. It was just a plus that her wet face kept the other girl from seeing the tears she couldn't explain even to herself. He hadn't touched her a single time, only following her lead. In the future, it wouldn't always be like that; she would give herself more and more, and have more taken of her too. A couple of times too much. She had swam for hours after both, while Carina waited and waited. No matter how much Nami yelled at her and tried to drive her away, she always waited. When she finally got out of the sea, she was so exhausted she collapsed in her arms, and stayed there shaking until everything almost felt like a bad dream. Then they got up and found another bar to hit, and Nami pretended she was as untouchable as she wanted to be. She thought Carina pretended too.
Nami embraced her, as if no time had passed. Their legs intertwined, their arms surrounded one another. They could feel each other's breath on their skin. Carina's was still as soft as she remembered. Carina traced around where Nami's had become rough, riddled with scarred skin and a tattoo that meant freedom. Maybe she had once wanted to be soft too, but now that shoulder brought her pride. It meant she was alive, and that she had come to live as she chose to. It meant she was never alone and never again would be. That was a promise they had broken to each other, but one neither had expected to keep. They were thieves; running came with the territory, an urge stronger than any love. Still, it had been a comforting lie to believe they had a home, as shaky as its foundations were.
At first, Nami hadn't wanted to tell her about Arlong. They both had their secrets, and they were well aware of that. No kid spent their days running and stealing in the streets when there was another option. But Carina had seen the brand. That damned thing that marked Nami as someone's property when all she ever wanted was to be free. They had a fight when she first asked about it. It was a child's curiosity; to Carina, those lines meant nothing. They weren't shackles to her like they were to Nami, and so she didn't expect the question to hurt. She didn't expect Nami to bite back with full force, yelling things she didn't believe and things she wished she didn't before leaving with anger and hurt stamped on her face. She had come back, though. They always did come back to each other back then. They sat by the breakwater and looked at the sunset and Carina listened as Nami told her everything she ever had to tell. In return, Carina had told her everything too, and the weight of both confessions almost made them drown in dry land. But they got up. They always got up. They always would, until they got their treasure.
Nami kissed her. It was quiet, not exactly passionate, but it was hungry and full of words. Carina kissed her back. They only moved their hands and faces, trying to absorb one another, discover every detail of the three years they had missed only by touch. Carina hadn't betrayed her. Carina had come back. Carina. Her first love, her first everything that mattered. The girl with soft purple hair falling past her shoulders and even softer skin, whom she loved and loved and loved. The girl who had bled with her, cried with her, loved her, back when she felt so trapped and so alone.
The girl she'd lose again tomorrow.
They broke the kiss, eyes meeting. There was nothing more to say. Nami put a small piece of paper between her fingers. Her Vivre Card.
There was no need for more than that. They had never been unaware of the uncomfortable truths. Carina tucked away the paper somewhere in her clothes and tucked herself into Nami's side. They closed their eyes. Nami could almost hear the water, see the sunset.