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The Widower
In the real world, once you die, there is no returning. Death and grief is one of the hardest things a person will experience during their lifetime. Having to process the fact that someone you love is gone? It’s cruel. Despite all of this, we persevere. Somehow, we always do.
Scott, however, was not in the real world. Scott was in a simulation, a death game, in which the goal is to be the last Man standing. He knew this. The other thirteen players knew this. Each player had three lives, meaning if they died once, they would be given another chance. Thus, death was a lighter topic.
Certainly not for Scott.
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During the first week, the players had all gravitated toward different people, forming their own teams. Scott himself had a teammate, one he hadn’t expected, but came as a welcome surprise. Jimmy! The two stumbled across each other whilst caving, and bonded almost immediately. They’d settled in a flowery meadow, the most beautiful spot in the entire server.
Oh, Jimmy. Scott had soon discovered how much of a handful the other person was. A big klutz, and always getting into trouble! He found himself constantly wrapping the man’s bandages. But Scott didn’t mind. In fact, those first couple of weeks with Jimmy were some of his happiest. They would lay in the grass together, Jimmy rambling about his latest adventures. Meanwhile, Scott listened, maybe braiding his fluffy blonde hair, applying new bandages, or even weaving flower crowns. It was a daily ritual.
As the time passed, the pair’s bond only grew closer. Not only that, it took on a new meaning. It was funny, falling for someone during a death game. They knew what would happen in the end. Everyone did. But that simply did not matter. Nothing could change what feelings they shared.
“I’ve got something for you.” Jimmy said, holding out a flower from his inventory. A poppy, what a beautiful thing. Poppies are known to withstand even the hardest of conditions. Its red hue resembling the man’s burning face. It was a small gesture, but Scott understood what it meant. He wore a giddy smile, placing a quick kiss on his cheek. From that point on, the two considered each other as married. Of course, there was no ceremony, no witnesses, not even a cake, but there was no time for that. You could only do so much in a simulation like theirs.
Unfortunately, their life was not nearly as perfect as it sounded. For starters, Jimmy had already lost two of his lives. This wounded Scott deeper than he would have liked to admit. As much as he wanted to tell himself that Jimmy would be okay, it was hard to believe. The man did not even look the same!
Upon reaching his last life, all the color drained out of him, leaving a dull gray complexion. His eyes, Scott’s favorite feature, had not been spared either. Jimmy had the most beautiful brown eyes that reminded him of the dark forest surrounding their base. He got lost in them for who knows how long… Now, they were sunken and red. Not a poppy red, no. Blood red.
Scott could look past his appearance, but it wasn’t all that changed. Jimmy hardly slept due to recurrent nightmares about death. And whenever he did, the man woke up merely minutes later to cough up blood. His injuries took much longer to heal, his body slowly giving up on him. Despite all of this, Jimmy continued to smile. He continued to ramble. He continued to love. He assured his husband that no matter what, this was the part of him that would never change.
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Aside from that, the server had been in shambles as well. It had divided into two sides, like a civil war. On the opposing side was ‘Dogwarts’. A heavily militarized group with the majority of the server on their side. The masterminds leading the team were King Ren, and his loyal hand, Martyn.
One day, Ren and Martyn came into the flower forest unannounced, carrying banners. They made a proposition, in which they asked for Scott and Jimmy’s loyalty, and in return they would receive protection, and a Dogwarts banner as a sign of alliance. Despite the appeal of having Dogwarts’ protection, the whole deal seemed unbalanced. Instead of simply asking for friendship, they demanded loyalty. Were they going to be an alliance or followers of the king? Perhaps Scott could attempt to adjust the deal, otherwise he counted himself out.
“No.” Jimmy crossed his arms, staring down at Martyn. “We don’t agree with this.”
“Petal, wait… We can try to–” Scott argued.
Jimmy turned to his husband, taking his hand in a firm grasp.
“Do you remember what happened just last week? Ren asked Martyn to cut his head off so that he could be on his red life like me! Can you imagine what would happen if we aligned with them? Because I can. You’ll be standing on the altar, then they’ll stab you in the back. And…and I don’t want that!”
Jimmy approached Martyn, seizing a banner into his hand, and threw it on the ground. He then searched through his inventory until pulling out a flint and steel. All that was left of the banner was in roaring flames.
Since then, they had been sworn enemies. It was a reckless act by Jimmy, but Scott was not upset with him. He never was.
Scott and Jimmy were not alone, however. They had a strong alliance with the desert people, Scar and Grian. Though causing one of Jimmy’s deaths with a trap of theirs, Scott had eventually forgiven them since the death was also partly due to Jimmy’s poor attempt in disarming it. Besides, they had a common ground. Both groups hated Dogwarts. Although the team was a little chaotic, they trusted Grian and Scar.
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It had been about two months since the simulation began, and full on war had blown out amidst the server. During this conflict, a third party was established, the Crastle Alliance. It was made up of Cleo, Bdubs, Tango and Impulse. Scott and Jimmy seemed to be on friendly terms with them, but remained wary.
All the while, Grian had been busy rigging the entire desert with explosives in preparation for battle. The alliance discussed this in a meeting, where Grian explained all of the details. Him and Scott would lure Dogwarts into the conflict, whilst Jimmy and Scar (both on their final lives) would remain safe in a bunker. Once the enemies were in the danger zone, Scar would pull the ‘Armageddon lever’, and the rest was history.
Scott spent the following week brewing potions and levelling up their gear to a max in preparation, but he could not help but feel as if it would all go wrong. Jimmy had also been more helpful than usual, insisting on fetching ingredients for Scott, or even doing Scott’s load of chores. And when Jimmy wasn’t helping, he made up every possible excuse to stick around.
“Scott, could I sleep in your house tonight?”
“Scott, could you show me how to make potions?”
“Scott, what’s the best enchant for my boots?”
On any other occasion, Scott would have deeply appreciated this– and he did appreciate it of course, but he sensed that Jimmy’s recent behavior was not coincidental. His intentions were not only to help around the base, they couldn’t be. But they did not have time for a discussion. Not anymore.
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As much as they prepared, as hard as they fought, the battle went on just as poorly as Scott expected.
It turned out, baiting over Dogwarts was not even necessary, as they had arrived on their own, apparently searching for a banner that Scar stole. The fight began with long-range combat, meaning bows, crossbows and even TNT cannons from Dogwarts, but it proved to be difficult when there were so many targets. As they closed in, it was easier to aim for both sides. Scott and Grian fought beside one another, and were doing good on health, thanks to Scott’s potions.
Just as their alliance had the upperhand, Etho, a Dogwarts soldier, snuck behind Scott, shooting him multiple times before he died. Scott woke up startled in the middle of the forest. It was okay. He had another life to spare before things went haywire… His upper body buzzed with pain, but no wounds showed on his skin. Injuries before a death healed instantly, so that a player who might have exploded did not have to walk around with multiple missing limbs, for example.
Scott sighed, as much as he disliked the idea of returning onto a battlefield, he had to stay strong for his friends. For his husband, most importantly. Besides, the longer he waited, the higher chance someone could steal his items.
At least he had one item on him, his communicator. It was a handy little device that all of the players used to chat to one another, show off achievements, or be alerted that someone had perished. As he made his way toward the desert, Scott read it over and over again, waiting expectantly for something to happen. Surely Scar was supposed to be pulling the lever by now, wasn’t he? Otherwise, the whole operation would have been futile.
Once on location, Scott could not find his own items, instead looting another person’s. He paused, his jaw dropped in shock. Craters the size of a ravine spanned around the bunker. Scott double checked the communicator, but surely enough, not a single person had died. He heaved a sigh. How could anything possibly get worse than this? Even Grian died a moment ago. Could they not even have the smallest victory for all of their efforts?
Just as he was putting the device away, it buzzed in his inventory. The notification sounded like a thunder strike, an alert he had never heard before. Did Grian die again or something? Maybe Scar managed to kill a Dogwarts member with the bunker defenses! Or Jimmy… All of a sudden, Scott didn’t want to check the device. No, no, don’t think like that. He’s fine. He stuffed his communicator back into his inventory with a trembling hand.
The conflict had begun to die down in the desert, moving instead into the forest.
“Just give us the banner! It’s all we’ve wanted this entire time.” Martyn pleaded, dropping his sword.
Scott noted that Scar was here. The man sighed, looking at his teammate before tossing over the banner.
“Fine, but no funny business. This ends now.”
Martyn rushed over to grab it, grinning ear-to-ear. He then scurried off just as soon, shouting, “My liege!! We’ve got it!”
Grian sat down, a dejected look on his face. “So much TNT… all for no one to die from it! I can’t end this on a loss.”
Scar looked over at Scott with a sympathetic look. His eyes, blood red, and skin, a dull gray. Just like Jimmy. But Jimmy was fine! He was just too scared to leave the bunker. Scott would pick him up, then they’d have dinner, and Jimmy would ramble on and on about what happened! He would smile… He would–
“I’m sorry, Scott.” Scar whispered.
“If this is about that notification, I didn’t look at it.” Scott spoke with a bitter tone.
The pair looked at each other with eyes that read ‘yikes’.
“But you do know what we’re getting at, don’t you?” Grian asked carefully.
“Of course I do! Jimmy’s gone, isn’t he?!” He said that bit a lot angrier than he intended. Before he looked at the other’s reactions, he finally pulled out his communicator, reading the most recent message.
Scott tossed the device, burying his head into his hands. He couldn’t start crying now. Not here.
“Uhm… I’m guessing you want to go home, right? I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to join us hunting down Dogwarts.” Grian explained.
Scott raised his head, staring at their sorrowful expressions.
“As long as Skizz is alive, I’m not leaving.” He insisted.
Scar grinned maliciously. “Let’s go get’em.”
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The next couple of hours flew by as they chased down dogwarts. Scott managed to get a kill on Impulse, but soon learned that he was a mole on the inside from the Crastle Alliance, whom they were currently teaming with. Impulse forgave him anyway.
Scott stayed hypervigilant, watching through the windows of the Crastle, until he heard a voice booming.
“I’m out for blood!” Skizz yelled, storming in through the entrance.
Scott drew his bow, alongside Grian, unsheathing his diamond sword. They took turns aiming at the man, until the sound of thunder buzzed from their inventories. Scar, who had joined later into the fight, pulled the two into a big hug.
“For Jimmy!” The desert people exclaimed in unison
“For Jimmy.” Scott repeated.
The group later returned to the desert. What a mess this all was… Was it even worth all of the violence?
“Do you want to borrow Leftover Pizza to carry… you know.” Grian inquired.
“That would be nice, thank you.” Scott muttered, the excitement from before leaving as quickly as it came.
“I’ll go get him, Scott! Don’t even move.” Scar assured him, hurrying into the bunker. The toned man wasn’t too worried about lifting some dead weight.
Grian led over the llama, patting Scott’s shoulder with his free hand.
“Safe travels, mate.”
Scott clasped his hands to his mouth once Scar arrived with Jimmy in his arms. An arrow plunged straight into his head, and a look of shock forever plastered onto his face. He choked back a sob. He avenged his husband, but Jimmy was gone. He was really gone.
Scott clenched the llama’s lead in his hand, walking slowly through the forest in utter silence. It was dark out, a cool breeze stirring the leaves. His tear-stained cheeks glittered in the moonlight. Why couldn’t it have been him who died? It was a bad idea to involve Jimmy in such a conflict, anyway. If Scott told him to stay, none of this would have happened… Or maybe if the explosion actually killed someone, it could have protected Jimmy! If there was really such a thing as alternate universes, this was the worst one.
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“Thank you, Pizza. You can go back now…”
He took a deep, shaky breath, hauling the heavy body into his arms. It was cold, unlike Jimmy. Scott remembered teasing Jimmy about having a radiator installed in him, since he was always so warm. The truth was, he loved it. Holding Jimmy’s hand felt nice that way. The only sign of warmth left was the burn scar on his fingers from destroying the Dogwarts banner.
He laid Jimmy onto the grass, reaching for his medical supplies. They were always in stock, since the man was so accident-prone. Scott brushed his golden fringe back, carefully removing the projectile from his forehead. It went deep, so he at least suffered a quick death.
He disinfected the wound, gently wrapping a bandage around the area. Was it necessary? Not by any means… But he found it familiar, almost comforting. Almost.
Scott wiped sweat from his head after digging out a hole, dropping the shovel instantly. He then built a tombstone out of cobble, and fetched a sign. On it, he wrote “Here lies Jimmy, Beloved Husband.” Since Jimmy was truly dead after all, Scott figured he deserved a proper goodbye. Now, he just needed to bury the body, and fetch a couple of personal items too.
He gazed upon Jimmy’s Hobbit Hole. Despite it being his, Scott had actually built it, since his husband’s attempt was certainly… an attempt. He smiled weakly, remembering how surprised he was.
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“Scott!-- Oh my gosh.” Jimmy stared at his new house in awe.
“I’m sorry, it was too ugly.” Scott responded.
The sound of Jimmy’s laughter lit up the surrounding area, maybe the world, even. “Awww, this looks amazing!”
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Scott would do anything to hear that laugh again. For it to be more than just a memory. He rummaged inside the house, searching for special items to bury him with, when he stumbled into a secret room. On the wall, there was a relationship board, stating his alliances and enemies. On the opposite side, a cake was placed onto a table, with a couple of slices taken already. Scott felt his heart tug. That cake was a prank he’d pulled just this morning…
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Scott was brewing potions when Jimmy hollered his name.
“What is it now?” He sighed.
“I don’t mean to bother you, but I need your help. I promise I won’t pester you afterwards, alright?” He pleaded urgently.
Jimmy led Scott into his meeting room, stepping gingerly.
“Someone just left this cake in here and… I don’t know, do you think it could be rigged? It looks delicious, but since I’m on my last life and all, I’m a tad scared.”
Scott stifled a laugh. “Oh, I’m not sure… Maybe it could be! But you know, I highly doubt it. There’s not even any redstone underneath.”
Jimmy’s brows creased. “Would you mind tasting it to check?... You’ve got lives to spare.”
Scott rolled his eyes. “If you say so.” He dipped his finger into the icing and licked it. “Hm, it tastes pretty good… OH GOD, RUN RUN RUN!!”
The two hurried out, before Scott cackled, not able to conceal himself any longer. “Jimmy, it’s fine! I placed the cake.”
Jimmy let out an exasperated breath, giving Scott a gentle jab with his elbow. “You scared the life out of me! Jerk.” He huffed, but not an ounce of real frustration was visible on his face.
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Scott stared at the cake. Just this morning, everything was fine. Just this morning, they were all happy. Just this morning, Jimmy was alive.
Scott returned to the hole. He lifted Jimmy into a cold embrace, then set him down below. He then dropped in the items of remembrance, a paper with his +25 reputation points from Grian and Scar, his first set of armor, and his last diamond.
Scott covered over the hole, then placed a red tulip on the soil. He considered offering a poppy, but no. The poppy was Jimmy’s declaration of love, and it would keep that meaning.
It was funny, falling for someone during a death game. Despite knowing that only sorrow awaited you, the feelings never changed. In fact, they only grew stronger. Love in itself is silly. Like a poppy, it's resilient. It stands tall even throughout the harshest of conditions. That doesn’t mean it’s invincible. It can fall just as much as it can resist. And when it does fall, you can feel it. Deep within, from the petals, to the seeds, to the stem and to the roots.
But the feelings never fade. The poppy remains vibrant in sickness and in health. It stays red through thick and thin. That is what truly matters. Every flower dies, every organism, everyone.
As long as a poppy is red, it is alive.
As long as your soul still shines, it is alive.
As long as your love remains true, it is alive.
Jimmy died, and with that a part of Scott died too. But there was a part of Scott that would never change. His love. His love for friends, his love for family… His love for Jimmy.
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Not long after, Scott passed. Ren had killed him twice, and with that, the husbands were no more.
He opened his eyes, completely disoriented. He was…home? But it looked different. The flower forest was lush and full of life. It was how he always dreamed of the area looking. This wasn’t right. Scott died, hadn’t he? He walked slowly, taking in the surrounding area, until a familiar voice called out from behind.
“Scott!”
Scott’s eyes widened, instantly turning around.
“Jimmy?”
He ran over, pulling him into a strong hug. He was warm. His skin slightly tanned, his hair a beautiful golden, and his eyes… His eyes were as brown as the dark forest neighboring their area. He had no arrow wounds, no burn marks, no bandages.
Jimmy smiled, returning the gesture. “You’re finally here! I was wondering when you were going to turn up.”
Hesitantly, Scott pulled away. He held onto the other man’s hands. “I don’t understand, petal. You’re supposed to be dead… I’m supposed to be dead!”
He shrugged. “Technically, I guess. But this is it! This is the end.”
“The…after?” Scott questioned.
“Whatever you’d like to call it, dear.” Jimmy answered.
Scott thought for a second until an idea sparked into his head.
“It’s home?”
“Home.”