Work Text:
Hunter wasn’t a human, and technically, he wasn’t a witch either. That probably explained why he didn’t understand either species at all.
“Do humans really throw a party every year for an animal?” he asked. He still thought it sounded fake, especially since the Collector had been the one to explain it to them. Luz’ mom had backed it up, but Hunter was about 70% sure Luz had put her up to it.
“Probably!” Gus said cheerfully. Easy for him to say, Hunter thought. All he’d had to do for the party was cast some illusions while Hunter and Willow were stuck getting all the actually tangible decorations. “They’re so weird! This sounds exactly like the type of thing they’d do.”
“Maybe the groundhog has some kind of religious significance,” Willow suggested. “Humans are really into religion, right, Gus?”
“Are you kidding?” Gus puffed up, proud to be able to share some of his human knowledge. “It’s their favorite thing! They get so excited when you ask them about it that they start yelling!” Hunter still wasn’t completely sure that particular encounter had been a good thing, but he’d decided to let Gus have that one.
“The Collector said something about early spring, didn’t he?” Willow said. “Maybe they need to celebrate and praise the groundhog for spring to come.”
Gus nodded sagely. “They must earn the groundhog’s favor or be doomed to an eternal winter.”
“Which is why it doesn’t make any sense that we’re celebrating in the demon realm,” Hunter pointed out. “Can the groundhog even see into this world?”
“C’mon, Hunter.” Willow nudged his shoulder. He could feel his face doing something embarrassing, like it usually did when Willow touched him. “It’s gonna be fun. And besides, Luz and Amity really need this. Midterms have been tough for all of us, but with Luz in the human realm studying stuff none of us can help her with…”
“It’s been weeks since they had a date,” Gus chimed in. “Amity is pining hard.”
“Yeah, alright,” Hunter sighed. So much for poking enough holes in this weird thing so he didn’t have to deal with it. “I just don’t see why the Collector couldn’t help us out with this.”
Gus shrugged. “Apparently they’re busy keeping an eye on the two of them so the surprise doesn’t get ruined, but…”
Hunter frowned. “That doesn’t make sense. He gets bored too easily to just sit and watch. Unless they’re actively suffering –”
That was when the door to the Owl House burst open and Amity ran in, carrying Luz in her arms. Both of them were soaking wet, covered in scratches, and also scorched in places somehow.
On cue, Gus’ illusionary fireworks went off. Amity jumped. Luz somehow jumped while still in Amity’s arms.
“WHERE’S THE COLLECTOR?” Amity screamed, sounding slightly feral.
“Hi guys,” Luz said woozily. “We’re stuck in a time loop.”
“WHAT?” Hunter yelled to be heard over the fireworks.
“WE ARE STUCK IN A MOTHERFREAKING TIME LOOP!” Amity screeched.
Childish laughter echoed through the house. The Collector’s image skidded down the walls and popped out into the room, three-dimensional. “Good job!” they said, grinning at Luz and Amity. “You won! Boy, it sure did take you a while, though!”
Amity stared at the Collector. “WHAT.”
“You found the party!” the Collector explained. “That’s the end! You won the game, so now the time loop’s over!”
“Yippee…” Luz said, sleepy despite the noise. “Ammy, I’m gonna lie down on the floor now.” She unceremoniously rolled out of her girlfriend’s arms and onto the floor of the Owl House with a loud thunk.
Amity pointed at the Collector. “YOU. Explain.”
“Yeah, what the heck?” Gus asked.
“Oh, yeah,” the Collector said, grinning. “I should probably fill you guys in.” He cleared his throat and drew himself up. “So! Today is Groundhog Day. And everybody knows that what you do on Groundhog Day is you make a time loop!”
Hunter looked at Willow and Gus. Both shook their heads in confusion. Amity still looked about ready to punch a child (well, child-shaped god, to be fair).
“Oh yeah…” Luz said, voice muffled by a rug. She had rolled onto her face. “Isn’t there a movie…?”
“Is…” The Collector looked very self-conscious all of a sudden. “Is that… not a documentary? Are time loops not a normal human thing?” Tears welled up in his eyes. “Aw, man, I screwed up again, didn’t I?”
“Screwed up?” Amity demanded. “You made us go through a labyrinth! We died, like, five times!”
Luz stuck her arm up. “Eight times for me.”
“But you got better…” the Collector said timidly. “Don’t humans like this stuff?”
“I mean –” Luz coughed on a mouthful of floor and propped herself up on her elbows. “We’ve got, like, escape rooms and stuff. But they don’t actually keep you in there if you can’t figure it out. It’s not actually dangerous.”
“Didn’t that make it more fun, though?” the Collector asked. “All those awesome memories you guys have together – you were in danger so much! Didn’t that make it better?”
Amity glared at them. “I knew we should’ve kept you locked up.”
She seemed to realize she’d gone too far a second later, but the damage was done. The Collector’s lower lip trembled, and he started to sob.
“I’m sorry!” he wailed. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I can’t get anything right! You guys couldn’t see each other and you were so sad, and I thought if I gave you a bunch more fun time to be together you’d be happy again!” He sat down on the ground and hugged his knees. “Stupid Collector, always messing everything up.”
“Hey…” Even exhausted, it looked like Luz’ protective instincts were kicking in. She scooched closer to the Collector. “It’s okay! I understand. You were just trying to help.” She reached around in the general direction of Amity’s hand until she took the hint and held it. “And… it kinda worked, didn’t it?”
Amity’s expression softened. “I mean… we did get two whole weeks’ worth of time to ourselves. We haven’t gotten to spend that much time together since Belos. And… it was a little nice to go on an adventure again.”
The Collector blinked up at Amity. “You’re not mad at me?”
Amity sighed and sat down next to Luz. “No, Collector. I’m just disappointed.”
“Aw, c’mon!” They pouted. “That’s way worse!”
“You… definitely need to work on interacting with mortals,” Amity said carefully. “But I know you were just trying to do something nice for us.” She gave him a small, tired smile. “Maybe don’t surprise us with this stuff anymore?”
The Collector nodded vigorously. “I promise!”
Luz and Amity stood up, Luz offering the Collector her hand. “C’mon, Collector. Let’s just enjoy the party.”
They sniffed, swiped at their eyes, and let Luz pull them to their feet. “Okay.”
“So!” Luz grinned and clapped her hands. “Let’s get this party started! Oh, hey Gus, hey Willow, hey Hunter! Sorry I didn’t say hi earlier, we were kinda preoccupied.”
“Hi Luz!” Gus said. Hunter gave her an awkward wave. “So, first things first. How much of this food do we need to sacrifice to the groundhog? And do we just leave it out or is it a burnt offering type deal?”
The look on Luz’ face was nothing short of deeply concerned.