Work Text:
I feel like I develop much more of “reasons” as to why individually Lloyd and Lula are great complements to each other, almost as if I am trying to prove simply why they'll work. But I never quite hit the part as to why their dynamic is so rich together, not just two halves coming together, you know? I'm afraid I am missing something.
I build a lot of Lloyla off of the yin-yang concept as I think it is a great basis to their relationship since they start off so unconventional and unconvincing. Then I attempt to weave in the message of complementary opposites and the two broken mirrors finding the final piece of their puzzle within each other; how Lloyd has always had that childlike-yearning for adventure, since very early on in his life, his days were already planned ahead to be a role model and saviour of the world—his natural curiosity made to take a step back, if you will. And so Lula is that escape from his pre-destined reality in the form of an adventure of a lifetime. And how Lula, who is actually written to be fueled by loyalty and protectiveness that is so familial, so maternal, has always craved a sense of home and stability considering the violence and uncertainty of most of her background, never dwelling on that hollowness to her "routine" of always running away to protect others and caging herself into one of the things she hates—isolation. So Lloyd is an escape from her shitty reality, warm and forgiving and steady with his love, a reassurance that there is a certain blond always waiting for her at the end of the day and tomorrow, and so on.
This is why they are pulled towards each other. That, and the pure contrasts of their morals that share the same goal of keeping the world, especially its children, safe. This is the grey line I walk and like to explore, how a balance of fiery initiative (Lula) and unwavering guidance (Lloyd) is needed to save the world from its natural sins, not just either one. Because Lula’s raging execution of justice only feeds the cycle of violence she grew up wanting to cease, and Lloyd’s passive heroism without a rebellious initiative formed from pure grit allows the shadows to continue to grow in the darkness unknowingly to him. This is not to say Lula is incapable of empathy and Lloyd is meek, but that Lloyd brings out the warmth Lula tries to bury deep inside and Lula brings out the defiant streak Lloyd had to stash away when he had to step into his role of a leader.
They work because they each encompass what the other needs, just like the dots of black and white in the traditional yin-yang. It’s both a push-and-pull of such contrasting personalities, but tenderly supportive in their shared understanding and core goals. Am I making sense? They begin with tension and challenge, the addicting kind of heat and banter you can’t pull away from, that continues to sizzle as they soften and learn from each other, gain respect and admiration for each other, grow a certain bond and want to protect the other, which settles into a deeply-intertwined and undoubtedly supportive love for each other. That’s what I want Lloyd and Lula to be for each other when the world has faded and they’re letting their armour give way to the softness they force or have to hide, the vulnerabilities and “selfish” feelings they finally allow themselves to feel. I don’t call them Nightlight just because of the general symbolism I have pictured for them and the nice-sounding assonance to pair with, but also because they are each other’s comforting light and reassurance in the dark, a “nightlight” to help them sleep and keep the nightmares away. Because nothing is going to hurt them as long as they have each other.
"Within their dynamic, Lloyd is a rebellious soul that yearns for adventure, tempered by the weight of destiny. Lula is a fiery heart seeking to belong, guarded and running away from the idea because she doesn't trust how safe she or her love is for others. Lula is the adventure and puzzle for Lloyd that brings out that mischief and curiosity in him, breathing life back into a husk forced into being a hero. Lloyd is the hearth, the home for Lula that brings out the emotion and softness that she buries away, bringing back colour into a life she had been forcing down into a cynical path." — what I mean. What I hope is making sense.
Without a doubt, balance and harmony is the key to peace more than blinded order and authority, both externally and internally. There is profound self-expression they allow when they are with each other. Lloyd doesn’t just open his arms and offer a home for Lula, he is the reason she finally actually wants one, why she can’t bring herself to keep running away. Lloyd gives her that space to learn to rest not out of exhaustion, but out of trust that she is deserving of love and expressing her very warm, very real affection. And Lula doesn’t just offer him adventure, she’s the space given for him to still be the curious and “unruly” soul he once was before destiny made him a symbol of obedience. With her, he learns to act not just out of duty and rules, but out of defiance and the unyielding pursuit for goodness and safety for the world.
So yes, nevermind, I think I do feel proud of their dynamic. Am I saying all this because I created them and frankly, no one will be able to exactly understand it all since there is so much in my head? Am I actually making sense? Are my words able to convey the message I have always rooted for—the beauty in complexity and contradiction, the notion of the dynamic in-between? I really do hope so.