Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Miss, I’m stopping you for failing to yield,” said a police officer.

The young woman rolled down her window and took off her sunglasses. Her expression was distraught and she looked as if she were about to cry. And then, she did.

“Officer, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to but I’m in a hurry, I…” The blonde girl buried her face in her hands and burst into tears, mumbling something incoherent.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” said the officer.

“I’m on my period!” she blurted out, sobbing again. “I’ve stained my clothes, I just want to go home and change!”

The officer, now visibly uncomfortable, stammered, “Alright, miss… I’ll let you off with a warning.”

The woman thanked him in a tone so exaggerated it bordered on melodrama. Once she was far enough away not to be seen, she wiped away her crocodile tears with a tissue and took out her phone.

“Okay, number five: mention your period.”

She parked her car in front of a tall building named Capitolienne. After grabbing a coffee at the cafeteria, she headed toward her office, only to be stopped by a familiar voice.

“Effie! You’ve got mail!” called her assistant. “And Tigris is waiting for you in her office.”

“Thanks, Peeta,” she said, sitting down at her completely pink desk : pink screen, pink post-its, pink pens, pink phone shaped like lips, pink flowers. Everything was perfectly Effie.

“She’s waiting… like, right now,” Peeta insisted.

“Was the vein on her forehead bulging?” Effie asked.

“Yeah. Super-mega-ultra bulging.”

“Wow. Must be serious,” she said, standing up and leaving her half-finished coffee behind.

If you could see Tigris’s vein through all the Botox that had frozen her face, it meant she was truly upset. And Tigris was never angry, she was usually the epitome of grace.

Effie knocked and walked in immediately. Tigris hated shouting “come in”, not that she could anymore, since her last surgery had lengthened her neck to mimic the posture of a feline. Effie thought it was ridiculous, though she’d never dare say it aloud.

“Tigris, you wanted to see me?”

“Oh, Effie, you’re back! Your pink tweed suit is absolutely delightful. And that little bow in your hair is so charming!”

“Thank you, Tigris. Though it can’t compete with your Dolce & Gabbana ensemble.”

“Oh, you noticed?” said Tigris, preening. “It’s from the latest autumn collection. The only piece ever made.”

Tigris, the editor-in-chief of Capitolienne, was a fashion devotee, once a columnist in the women’s section of the same magazine. Her impeccable writing and flawless sense of style had carried her to the top. Effie admired her deeply, even if she secretly disapproved of the excessive cosmetic surgeries that had left her looking more feline than human.

“Did you call me to discuss something?”

“Yes, forgive me, I tend to lose focus whenever I see a stunning outfit. And yes, I called because it’s been two days since your sister was supposed to send me her article about Gucci’s latest fashion show, and I still haven’t received anything. We go to print tomorrow morning, and she hasn’t shown up at the office since.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I didn’t realize she’d been away for so long.”

“Without any justification,” added Tigris. “She’s your little sister, and I know how dedicated she usually is, but if we don’t get that article on time and she doesn’t come back today, I’ll have no choice but to let her go.”

Effie tried to control her temper. Deep down, she knew Tigris was right. Her sister had been utterly unprofessional.

“I’ll go find her right away.”

“Oh, and is your article, ‘How to Get Away from a Cop’, finished?”

“Almost! I just need one final touch, and I’ll send it to you today.”

“Good. And after that, you’ll bring your sister back to me.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got everything under control.”

Effie left Tigris’s office and finally allowed her professional smile to fade, that polished, rehearsed expression she wore in every formal conversation. She headed back to her pink kingdom of a workspace.

“Peeta, I need you,” she said.

Peeta followed her inside.

“I have to step out, but my article isn’t finished yet. It has to be sent to Tigris before four o’clock. Can I count on you?”

“You… you want me to write the magazine’s most-read article? Me? An assistant?”

“Peeta, you’re talented. You’ll be credited as co-writer, I promise I won’t steal your work. And if you do well, my next piece will be ‘How to Cook a Macaron’.” She said it to win him over, he had a weakness for pastries.

“I’ll do my best!” he replied, his face lighting up with determination.

“That’s my boy!” Effie said, ruffling his hair playfully, then immediately smoothing it back into place, her perfectionism never rested. Peeta rolled his eyes, but secretly, he didn’t mind. He liked when she treated him like a little boy.

“Alright, I’m off!”

She hurried down to her car and drove toward Perry Street, where her sister lived. She called her repeatedly along the way, but there was no answer.

When she reached the building, she turned on her hazard lights, ran up the stairs two at a time, and unlocked the apartment door. She’d always kept a spare key, just in case.

“Effie! It’s rude to break into people’s homes,” complained her sister, sitting on the floor in her pajamas, leaning against the couch with a huge tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

“And it’s rude not to answer the phone,” Effie replied.

“As you can see, I’m busy,” her sister said, turning up the volume on her romcom.

“Prosie, you’re not fifteen anymore. You have a job and responsibilities! You’re going to get fired.”

“I don’t care! I’ll just move back in with Mom and Dad. I don’t want to work.”

“What happened? Did you have a fight with Vitus?” Effie sighed as she searched for her sister’s laptop.

“No.”

“Then what? What could possibly justify completely abandoning your job?”

“It’s Adonis,” said her sister as tears welled up in her eyes.

“Who’s that supposed to be now?”

Effie was getting tired of her sister’s endless romantic disasters. Somehow, she always managed to end up with a broken heart.

“A guy I met in a club last week.”

Effie rolled her eyes the moment she heard the word “club.”

“We’ve seen each other every day since then. He even started leaving some of his things at my place. And when I told him I loved him, he disappeared,” Prosie sobbed.

Effie could only stare at her with despair. She loved her little sister dearly, but she was hopeless when it came to men. She finally found the laptop, opened the work folder, and discovered that it was empty.

“Wait. I’ll yell at you about your love life later. You haven’t even started your article?”

“Weren’t you listening? I was busy living a love story,” Prosie said dramatically.

“Wonderful. And look where that love story got you. Now listen. You’re going to get up, take a shower, put on your makeup, get dressed, and we’re going back to the office for the monthly meeting. But first, show me the photos from the Gucci fashion show. I have two hours to write your article.”

While her sister was getting ready, Effie’s mind was working at full speed. It had been years since she had written a fashion piece, but she had to admit that she missed it. Two hours later, she typed the final sentence and sent the article to Tigris.

When she closed the laptop, Prosie reappeared, dressed, made up, and looking almost radiant. If not for her slightly puffy face, no one would have guessed she’d been crying over a man.

They got in the car. As Effie started the engine, she noticed a ticket wedged under the wiper. She tore it off and handed it to her sister.

“You’re paying for that.”

“Fine,” said Prosie, tossing the paper onto the floor.

“Now tell me everything about this Adonis.”

“Oh Effie, he’s so handsome. I’ve never met a man so beautiful,” Prosie said dreamily. “Everything was perfect until he got a text from his ex. He swore there was nothing between them, but I panicked and told him I loved him. He freaked out, and I haven’t heard from him since.” She blinked rapidly, trying not to ruin her mascara.

“Prosie. You met him in a club, first mistake. You saw him every day after that, second mistake. He started living at your place, third mistake. And he’s still in touch with his ex, and you tell him you love him? What’s wrong with you?” Effie tried not to laugh. Her sister’s love life was a tragic comedy on repeat.

“Sorry I’m not like you,” said Prosie. “Always funny, with your perfect smile, flawless makeup, shiny hair, and the right words for every situation.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Effie teased.

“Effie, you’re always the woman of the situation. You just wrote my article in two hours, and I bet it’s perfect. Without you, Vitus and I would never have graduated. I called you crying, and five minutes later you showed up in Aunt Messalina’s clothes to save our fashion show. You even got me my first job at the best women’s magazine in all of Panem.”

“Prosie, that’s what sisters do. I love you, and I’ll always help you. All I ask is that you take things seriously. You’re lucky Tigris is kind. She won’t fire you, but don’t ever do that again.”

“But my heart is broken.”

“Prosie, a positive attitude is already ninety-seven percent of success,” they said together. It was Effie’s favorite phrase.

“Thank you so much, Effie. You’re the best.”

They shared a warm, sisterly hug at the red light.

Once they arrived, they hurried up to their floor and went straight to the meeting room. As they entered, Portia, Effie’s colleague and friend, waved at them. She had kept two seats free beside her.

They sat down and waited for Tigris, who arrived moments later.

“Good morning, everyone,” said Tigris as she took her seat and scanned the room. “Proserpina Trinket. Thank you for gracing us with your presence. Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, much better, thank you,” Proserpina answered awkwardly.

“Good. I reviewed all of your articles, and they’re absolutely perfect. This month’s issue is going to be incredible. I can feel a best-seller coming. Let’s give ourselves a round of applause.”

The room filled with clapping and cheerful murmurs.

“Now, let’s move on to our next issue, which comes out in twelve days. As you know, Fashion Week begins in ten. We’ll need a full report, which means our next release will be early. We have twelve days to write and print everything. So, who has an idea?”

Aphrodite, a colleague whom Proserpina particularly disliked, and whom neither Effie nor Portia were very fond of, raised her hand.

“How to keep a guy for more than a week,” she said, casting a pointed look at Proserpina. Several people chuckled, and Proserpina glanced helplessly at her sister.

“That could be interesting,” Tigris said. “Tell me more.”

“A guide on how to make a man addicted to you, so he doesn’t, for example, go back to his ex?”

“You’re Adonis’s ex?!” burst out Proserpina.

“Proserpina, sit down,” Effie ordered, but her sister ignored her.

“You didn’t actually think he would go from me to you, did you?” Aphrodite smirked, standing up and spinning gracefully before pointing a manicured finger at Proserpina.

“Ladies, please sit down,” said Tigris, but neither of them paid attention.

“You can’t even form two sentences. Apart from arching your back, you’re useless.”

“Keep telling yourself that, flat chest.”

“I said sit down!” Tigris roared, startling the entire room. Her voice echoed like a growl. She cleared her throat and sighed. “Thanks to you two, I’ll have a sore throat for days. Alright,” she continued calmly, “I like the article idea.”

“May I write it?” offered Effie.

“But it was my idea!” protested Aphrodite.

“Yes, but I’m Miss Tips. And I think we can improve it. Instead of teaching women how to keep a man, we could do the opposite! List all the mistakes not to make. I can already see the title: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.”

Tigris smiled. “Excellent idea, Trinket. The article is yours. And I want a real test subject, it’ll make the piece more entertaining.”

Under the table, Effie squeezed her sister’s hand. She had just saved her from what could have been a humiliating article written by Aphrodite.

When the meeting ended, Tigris called both Proserpina and Aphrodite to stay behind. Effie could only hope her sister would get away with a light scolding.

Back at her desk, Effie placed a lemon muffin on Peeta’s table.

“Peeta, you were excellent. Tigris loved the article.”

His shoulders instantly relaxed.

“Thank you, Effie! So, do we finally get to do the macaron article?”

Effie pouted. “Not this issue, unfortunately. But next time, I promise.”

“You always say that.”

“I promise.”

“You always say that too.”

“This time, it’s a real promise. And don’t you dare say I always say that,” she replied, smiling.

She checked her watch. It was already past six.

“Alright, I have to go. I’ve got a new article to write, and if I want to make the deadline, I need to start tonight. You can go home too, and sleep in tomorrow, you’ve earned it. And thank you again for your amazing work.”

She then walked over to Portia’s office, where her friend was gathering her things.

“Can I ask you for a favor?”

“That depends,” said Portia with a knowing smile.

“Come with me to a little party.”

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

Haymitch was reading over his payslip again. The numbers didn’t look right. His salary had dropped sharply, and a new garnishment notice explained why. The courthouse had increased his repayment installments again.

At sixteen, the district he grew up in had been so poor it barely had drinkable water. The entire neighborhood had risen up in protest, and in a moment of reckless excitement, he and a few friends had blown up the entrance to the coal mine to stop production and force the Capitol to listen. It had been a foolish act of rebellion and one he had paid for ever since. He had never given up the names of his accomplices, so he alone had been fined, and he had been paying it off for seventeen years.

He needed a promotion. There was no way he could survive on this salary with those repayments hanging over him.

So he found himself sitting in front of his boss, Plutarch Heavensbee, trying to convince him to assign him a major advertising campaign.

“The only one that could bring you a decent bonus is the jewelry campaign for DistrictOne1” said Plutarch.

“Perfect! Trust me, I’ll make it the best campaign you’ve ever seen.”

“The issue is that the Donner twins also asked for it.”

“You know I’m better than them at making ads that catch people’s attention.”

“It’s a jewelry brand, Haymitch. You know how well they handle that kind of work.”

“You’ve never given me the chance to prove it.”

“It’s a big client. I can’t afford to lose them.”

Just then, Maysilee knocked on the door and entered without waiting for a reply.

“Hi,” she said casually.

They were colleagues, though not exactly friends. In truth, Haymitch didn’t like her much, and she didn’t seem to notice him at all. They were from the same district, which could have brought them closer, but instead, it only emphasized how different their lives had turned out. He actually preferred her twin sister.

“Plutarch, I think I’ve found the slogan for the jewelry campaign. I know you haven’t officially assigned it yet, but I went ahead anyway,” she said.

“Good timing, Maysilee. Could you bring your sister? I need to talk to both of you about this project.”

A few minutes later, the twins returned together. Plutarch looked amused.

“Well, it turns out you’ve got some competition for this campaign.”

The Donner twins turned and saw Haymitch. They almost laughed.

“Haymitch?” said Merrilee.

“You can’t be serious, Plutarch.”

“I’m right here, you know,” Haymitch muttered. “It’d be nice if you didn’t talk about me like I’m invisible.”

“A jewelry campaign? You can’t lead that project.”

“They’re jewels, a women’s thing and I know what women like,” he said smugly.

“You’re a walking cliché,” Maysilee shot back. “Plutarch, this ad needs to be elegant, sophisticated. I can’t imagine Haymitch leading it.”

“We already have a meeting with Capitolienne magazine later today to negotiate a feature page,” added Merrilee.

“We could team up,” offered Haymitch. Even a third of the bonus would help him stay afloat.

“And why would I share my bonus with you?”

“Alright,” interrupted Plutarch. “The campaign launches in a month. There’s the Reaping Gala tonight and you’re all invited. Present your concepts to me there, and whoever has the best pitch gets the project. Understood?”

“Do we have a choice?” grumbled Merrilee.

“Not really,” Plutarch replied, laughing at his own joke. No one else did. That wasn’t unusual.

“See you tonight and may the odds be ever in your favor.”

As the twins left, they brushed past Haymitch without apology. He clenched his jaw. They were immature, but he understood their nerves. For them, it was a competition. For him, it was survival.

“Katniss, any calls today?” he asked his assistant, whose desk faced his.

“No calls, but this letter came for you,” she said, handing him an envelope stamped with Panem’s seal. He tore it up and threw it away.

“Hope that wasn’t important,” Katniss remarked.

“I’ll finish my work from home. Call me if you need anything,” he said, leaving before she could reply, not that she planned to.

He decided to head home early to refine his proposal and prepare for the gala. His mind was racing with ideas. Tonight, he was going to win that campaign. He had to.

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

“What party?”

“I’ve been invited to this year’s Reaping Gala. And since I need to find a ‘victim’ for my next article, I figured it’s the perfect opportunity.”

“I’d never turn down a gala, so I’m coming with you,” said Portia with as much enthusiasm as she could muster which, knowing Portia, wasn’t much.

As they headed toward the exit, chatting about the latest fashion trends, Tigris called out to them.

“Ladies, allow me to introduce the Donner sisters. They work for Heavensbee Communications.”

“Nice to meet you, Effie Trinket,” said Effie with her signature bright smile.

“And I’m Portia,” added her friend.

“You’re Miss Tips, aren’t you?” asked one of the twins.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“I absolutely love your articles! They’re so well written and always hilarious,” said the other sister, while the first nodded in agreement. Effie found them stunning. They could have been models.

“Thank you, that’s so kind of you,” Effie replied warmly.

“And just wait until you read her next one,” added Tigris with a laugh. “She’s writing about how to drive a man away.”

“Oh, that sounds intriguing,” said one of the sisters.

“I pity the poor man she’ll experiment on,” added Tigris.

“Let’s not spoil the surprise, Mrs. Tigris. And you, ladies, keep that between us,” Effie said with a wink, though she wasn’t thrilled that the subject had been revealed.

“Asking a communications agency to keep a secret, that’s bold,” one of the sisters teased, and the group laughed.

“Well, I’d better go. I’ve got a long evening ahead,” said Effie, excusing herself.

She and Portia went to Effie’s apartment to get dressed for the evening. They had to hurry and it was getting late, and Effie wanted to make the most of her chances to find the perfect “victim.”

When they arrived at the gala, Effie felt a little disappointed. Most of the men were well into their fifties, or married, dull, or simply uninterested in women. And worst of all, none of them appealed to her. It was for work, yes, but she would have to spend twelve days with this man. It would help if he were at least pleasant to look at.

“Let’s be honest, you need someone rugged. A wild type. You’ve never liked Capitol men anyway,” Portia said teasingly.

Effie laughed. “If we’re looking for a District man, we’ll be here all night. They don’t exactly move to the Capitol often.”

“Maybe, but if we want to get out of here and go home before midnight, we’d better find you one, honey.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll soon be back with your dear man.”

“I’m just exhausted from today,” Portia said, pretending to protest.

“Of course you are,” Effie teased.

“Fine, maybe a little bit because of that,” she admitted with a smile. “He just got back from his fashion show last night, and I barely got to see him. His brand is really starting to make a name for itself.”

“I’m so happy for him. Cinna worked hard to get here.”

“He really did. Now, let’s go find your lumberjack.”

“You’re impossible!” laughed Effie.

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

Haymitch stepped into the room and immediately spotted Plutarch, already deep in conversation with the Donner twins.

“Finally!” said Maysilee and Merrilee in unison. He hated when they did that.

“Sorry for being late. I hope you didn’t spend too much time gossiping about me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Maysilee replied sharply. He could always tell them apart. Maysilee had that sharper, more spiteful tone.

“They’ve already shown me their project, and it’s quite polished,” said Plutarch. “So you’d better impress me, Haymitch.”

Haymitch cleared his throat and mentally repeated his pitch.

“I pictured a commercial where a river of jewelry flows across the screen. At the center, a woman dressed like a mermaid, wearing only the brand’s jewels. The sky and stars are made of diamonds. Everything gleaming, dazzling. We’d use a model with incredible hair, it would be hypnotic.”

“That’s so shallow,” said Merrilee.

“But I like it,” admitted Plutarch. “Visually, no one would look away.”

“That’s not the brand’s vision,” insisted Merrilee.

“Brands only care about sales,” Haymitch shot back.

“It’s meaningless, not artistic at all,” added Maysilee. “And you know nothing about women. A mermaid? Really?”

“I told you, I know what women like. And men too.”

“Mostly men,” Merrilee quipped.

“You keep saying you know women, yet we’ve never seen you with one,” Maysilee teased.

“Since when do we discuss private lives here? What do you know?” he retorted, irritated.

“Everyone knows you’re perpetually single.”

“I’m not wasting time arguing,” Haymitch said firmly. “It’s Plutarch I need to convince. So, boss, what do you think?”

Plutarch smiled slyly. “If you can make a woman fall in love with you before the DistrictOne charity gala, you get the project.”

“What?!” they all said in unison.

“I like your concept, Haymitch. It’s catchy. But it lacks depth. Prove you actually understand women, and I’ll give you the campaign without hesitation.”

Haymitch stared at him, confused but defiant. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

“We get to pick the woman,” said Maysilee.

“Oh no, you’ll just pick some luxury-obsessed gold digger.”

“That’s fair,” decided Plutarch, ignoring Haymitch’s glare. The twins exchanged a mischievous look.

“I choose her,” said Maysilee, nodding toward a blonde woman with a perfectly ironed blue dress and a flawless smile.

Haymitch followed her gaze and almost gave up then and there. She looked like the type who’d slap you for a joke. But pride kept him moving. He straightened up and walked toward her.

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

“A guy’s walking straight toward us, and he’s totally your type,” whispered Portia quickly. Effie barely processed the words before someone brushed her shoulder.

She turned slowly and met a pair of steely gray eyes and a dangerous smile.

“Haymitch,” he said simply.

“Effie,” she replied.

“Having a good evening?”

“Rather dull.”

“Not anymore.”

“Maybe.”

He smiled.

“Cute.”

“Thank you.”

“I meant your ‘maybe’.”

“Oh,” she said, laughing and he laughed with her. “Cute,” she replied.

“What?” he asked.

“The way you try not to compliment me while your eyes already have.”

“I’m not much of a talker. Actions speak louder.”

“Liar.”

He chuckled, biting his lower lip.

“Half a liar.”

She laughed, delighted by his honesty.

“Which half?” she pressed. “The lie?”

“The part where I said I’m not a talker,” he said, eyes locked on hers, intense, hungry. She felt her pulse quicken. She’d caught his attention, and now she was the one in danger.

“I’m hungry,” she said.

“Yeah? Me too.”

“Dim lights?”

“City view.”

“Sticky but delicious.”

“Not very glamorous.”

“Messy hands.”

“Okay, follow me.”

He grabbed her hand, leading her out of the gala and into the night, toward a motorcycle.

“Careful. I’m about to ruin that perfect hair of yours,” he warned, handing her a helmet.

“Don’t worry, my hair never moves,” she teased, bending so he could help her. “So? How do I look?”

He laughed.

“Perfect—” He stretched the word before finishing, “—ly safe.”

“I’ll get a real compliment out of you before the night’s over.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Absolutely,” she said, punching in an address on the GPS. “Ready?”

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

They ended up at a small french food stand, eating snails under a string of soft yellow lights.

“Exactly what I had in mind,” Haymitch said, slurping one noisily.

“Glad we’re on the same wavelength,” Effie replied, managing a little more grace.

“So, Effie, tell me about yourself.”

“You still want to know after watching me eat snails?”

“Are you kidding? That made you even sexier.”

“Ah, there it is ! Tonight’s compliment.”

“You only got it because I allowed it. Doesn’t mean you’ve won.”

“Oh, I’ve definitely won.”

“Competitive, huh?”

“No, just a journalist. I like having the last word.”

“Oh, that’s trouble. I’m an ad man, I like having the last word too.”

“Journalist and advertiser… sounds like a perfect enemies-to-lovers setup.”

“Lovers, huh?”

“Let’s go to your place,” she whispered, voice low, eyes burning.

As soon as the door closed, they kissed hard, hungry, unstoppable. It was raw, electric. She hadn’t felt that kind of pull in years.

They ended up on Haymitch’s bed, bodies close, nearly touching. The warmth of the room contrasted sharply with the sudden chill that ran over Effie as he stepped back.

She felt the cool air brush against her skin, a mix of frustration and anticipation rising in her. Her lips still tingled from their kiss, and her heart raced. She wanted to close the gap between them, but Haymitch’s gaze held her in place, a pause that was almost painful.

“Not tonight.”

“No?”

“No.”

She blinked, surprised.

“Okay,” she murmured, sitting beside him. The silence crackled.

Effie leaned slightly toward him, letting her lips brush his without really touching, teasing the next spark. He didn’t move away, yet he didn’t make the first move either.

She sensed he was waiting patient, calculating… and yet, his presence alone made her shiver. Desire and curiosity intertwined in a burning, exquisite mix. Every second of that wait felt eternal, but she already knew neither of them was ready to give in so easily.

“I should go,” she whispered.

He didn’t argue. “Let me walk you out.”

“No, I’ll take a cab.”

At the elevator, he rested his hands on the frame. “Get home safe, Effie.”

When the doors closed, she finally exhaled, realizing only then that she’d been holding her breath.

A wave of regret washed over her for him, and for herself.

He was going to hate her for this, and she was probably missing out on a damn good time.

From that kiss alone, she could tell he definitely knew what he was doing.

From the taxi, she looked up. He was on the balcony, watching her. She blew him a kiss.

He was going to suffer.

But what she didn’t know was that, at that very moment, Haymitch was thinking one thing:

He was going to make her fall in love.

May the best one win.

Chapter Text

“And you accepted?” exclaimed Chaff, Haymitch’s friend.

“I couldn’t say no,” Haymitch sighed. “And if you saw the girl they picked…”

“I’d have done the same. Fair game.”

“Yeah… But listen, it actually went pretty well last night. I think I might be able to pull this off. And honestly, spending ten days with a girl who looks like a Victoria’s Secret model? I’m not exactly complaining.”

“She’s that pretty?”

Haymitch nodded with a small smile.

“I like you, buddy,” Chaff said, pointing at them both in turn, “but when a knockout like that shows interest in guys like us ? It’s weird. She’s gotta be crazy.”

“As long as she’s crazy about me by the end of those eleven days, I don’t care about the rest.”

“I don’t know, man. What if she actually falls for you? You’re just gonna drop her after the bet?”

“That’s the plan. You know I don’t want anything serious.”

“I get that you need the money, but still, it’s not exactly honest. Not fair to her.”

“Oh please, if you’d seen her, you wouldn’t be worried for a second. I just told you she looks like a model. She’ll move on fast. A girl like that doesn’t get attached to a guy like me.”

“Hey, you’ve got some charm too,” Chaff teased.

“Sure, with girls from pubs looking for a fun night between two consenting adults. Expectations are pretty low in that department,” Haymitch laughed, setting up his things and opening his laptop.

“Well, try not to break her heart too badly,” Chaff said, shrugging.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Anyway, I have to contact her again, she left her handbag at my place last night.”

“Left it, huh?” Chaff raised an eyebrow, laughing. “Sounds like fate,” he said, emphasizing the word fate. “wants to bring you two together.”

“Yeah, let’s call it fate and not a clever little blonde who really wanted me to call her back,” Haymitch said, eyeing the bag.

“Aren’t you gonna look inside?” Chaff asked, suddenly curious.

“Nope.”

“So you’ve got a moral issue with checking a lady’s purse, but not with breaking her heart?” Chaff replied, amused.

“I told you she has to fall in love with me. If she finds out I went through her stuff, she might get pissed and never talk to me again. I have to win this bet.”

“Stupid bet, by the way.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t really have a choice.”

Suddenly, Chaff smacked the bag, sending it tumbling to the floor. Its contents spilled everywhere.

“Oops, my bad. I dropped it,” he said dramatically.

“Oh no,” Haymitch replied, matching his tone, “guess we’ll have to pick everything up and see what’s inside.”

There wasn’t much but then Haymitch noticed an envelope.

“What’s this?”

“Open it. We’re already past the point of no return.”

Inside were two tickets to a massive MMA fight: Cato versus Thresh, the hottest matchup of the year. Both men’s jaws dropped.

“Damn, those tickets cost a fortune,” Chaff said.

“Well, well,” Haymitch grinned. “Someone knows how to play the game. Guess I’ll have to step up too. Time to send her something unforgettable.”

Just then, his assistant walked into the shared office.

“Perfect timing, Katniss. Tell me, after a first date, what kind of gift would you like a guy to send you the next day?”

“You’re asking the worst person for that,” Chaff said with a smirk.

“And I’m not having this conversation with you two,” Katniss replied flatly.

“Oh come on, just one idea?”

“I don’t know… a hundred white roses?” she said randomly.

“Do I look like I’ve got five hundred dollars to waste?” Haymitch groaned.

“Then why don’t you check the storage room where we keep all the thank-you gifts from brands? Since you’re broke,” she suggested, mostly to get rid of him, but it turned out to be a good idea.

“Not bad,” Haymitch said with a grin. “Actually, I might just have a brilliant idea. And I’m gonna need your help, Katniss.”

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

“So? How was it?” Portia asked the moment she spotted Effie.

“He’s… quite the gentleman,” Effie replied, still typing on her computer.

“Really? I pictured him as more… rugged,” Portia said, surprised.

“Not like that. Nothing happened. He literally said and I quote ‘not tonight,’” Effie laughed.

“Well, that’s unexpected.”

“Honestly, it’s for the best. Imagine if he’d just wanted to sleep with me? He might’ve ghosted me, and I’d have to find someone else. I am already cutting it close time-wise.”

“Fair point.”

“Effie.” She looked up and saw her assistant standing in the doorway. “Seems there’s someone here for you,” he said, gesturing to a young woman holding a bouquet of flowers.

“Oh, that must be him. Gentleman indeed.”

“Or he just found the tickets for tonight’s match.”

“I guess we’re not going together anymore?” Portia asked with a teasing smile.

“No, which means you get to spend your evening cozy at home with your sweetheart. Honestly, if it weren’t for me, you’d never leave your apartment.”

“My view of Manhattan is more than enough, thank you very much.”

Effie got up and walked toward the delivery girl.

“Hello, delivery service. This is for you,” the girl said in one monotone breath. Not the friendliest service. Effie accepted the bouquet with a polite smile, but the girl left right away.

“She must hate her job,” Effie remarked to Peeta. He didn’t answer, still staring in the direction the girl had gone.

“Peeta?”

“Oh sorry, Effie. What were you saying?”

Effie gave him a knowing smile. “You think she’s pretty, don’t you?”

“What? N-no!” he stammered.

“You’re adorable when you lie. I could easily find out which delivery company she works for and get you her name.”

“Oh, I already know it.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. She’s from my district. I used to have a crush on her when I was a kid,” he said with a small laugh. “Just didn’t expect to see her here. People from my district don’t usually end up working in the Capitol.”

“Well, it’s a small world as they say. But judging by how red you are, I’d say you still like her, even if I found her a bit rude,” Effie teased, making him laugh.

“Yeah, she’s always been like that. Anyway, what did you get?” he said, quickly changing the subject.

Effie looked at the bouquet. It wasn’t just white roses, there were little sticks with Estée Lauder products tied to them. Her eyes widened. A full skincare collection from one of her favorite luxury brands! She was absolutely thrilled.

But when she looked closer, she suddenly burst out laughing, startling both Portia and Peeta.

“It’s a snail-slime skincare set!”

“And?” Portia asked, puzzled.

“We had escargots for dinner last night.”

“Weird choice of meal… Oh, wait. There’s a note!”

Portia picked it up and read aloud:

‘The snails reminded me that some things are meant to be savored slowly… like a moment shared with you. I wish time could stop for a bit, just so I could admire your smile a little longer.’

“He’s good. A real advertiser,” Effie remarked, picking up the note again to reread it with a smile. He’d hit the mark.

Just then, her phone rang. She answered, already knowing who it was.

“Effie Trinket speaking,” she said, putting the call on speaker so everyone could listen.

“Hey, Princess.”

“Guess what I just got? A gorgeous bouquet of flowers with gifts.”

“I had a great time last night. Glad to hear you liked it.”

“I loved it! Although I’ll admit I’m only giving the delivery service one star. The courier wasn’t exactly pleasant,” she said, laughing.

“I’ll make sure to file a complaint,” he chuckled. “By the way, your handbag is still here.”

“I know,” she sighed, a playful glint in her eyes. “Sometimes I wonder where my head’s at.”

“I tend to make people lose their heads,” he said, his smirk almost audible through the phone.

“Can’t wait to see more, then,” she replied, her voice slipping into something deliberately seductive. Her assistant shifted awkwardly in his chair, pretending to focus on his notes.

“I can show you more tonight, princess,” Haymitch replied smoothly. “Might even knock you out.”

Effie bit back a smile. Oh, he knew exactly what he was doing. He meant the tickets, of course but the double meaning hung in the air like perfume.

“You didn’t happen to go through my handbag, did you?”

“Absolutely not. That was my clumsy colleague Chaff, he knocked it over.”

“Yeah, I can be a bit clumsy sometimes,” another voice chimed in. Effie laughed.

“Sorry, but I’m already watching the match with someone,” she lied.

“Oh no, you’re going with me. You can’t tell me you left your bag here by accident.”

“You said it yourself ! You made my head spin. I wasn’t exactly thinking straight,” she laughed, while Portia shook her head, amused.

“Then let’s say fate wants us to go together. I mean, come on! You forget your nag, my colleague ‘accidentally’ drops it… that’s a lot of coincidences, don’t you think?” He was clearly trying not to laugh at his own ridiculous excuse.

Effie pretended to consider it. “Fine. Meet me on 11th Avenue at seven-thirty. And don’t be late. Bye.”

“Bye.”

She hung up and leaned back in her chair, a small, victorious smile playing on her lips. “And that’s how it’s done.”

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

“And that’s how it’s done,” Haymitch echoed as he ended the call, looking far too pleased with himself.

A few minutes later, Katniss stormed back into the office, irritation written all over her face.

“What’s up, sweetheart? You know she said you weren’t exactly friendly?” he teased.

“I did what you asked. Delivered the bouquet. I wasn’t about to put on a show.”

“Yeah, but a little smile wouldn’t have killed you. You were supposed to play the delivery girl, not the grumpy assistant.”

“Well, I am a grumpy assistant who had to play delivery girl. Next time, hire a real one.”

“Easy there, sunshine. I won’t ask you again. When’s this teenage phase supposed to end, anyway?” he joked.

“Leave me alone,” she muttered but the corner of her mouth betrayed her with the faintest of smiles.

He wondered what could’ve possibly happened to make her so angry. Katniss had never been the sweetest girl around, but she was usually polite, even kind, when she wanted to be. Something must’ve gone wrong. Still, pressing her wouldn’t help; he knew her too well for that.

He’d known her since she was a kid. After all, she was the daughter of his late best friend.

After Burdock’s death, Haymitch had stepped in to help the family. Her mother had fallen into a deep depression, and Katniss was just entering the stormy years of adolescence. Not long after, he’d decided to fund her studies in the Capitol and she’d eventually become his assistant.

The workday flew by. By evening, Haymitch was waiting for Effie outside the arena. When he spotted her walking toward him, she looked like she was stepping off a runway, not heading to a cage fight. Her high heels clicked on the pavement, her confidence impossible to miss. The sight made him laugh.

“Sorry I’m late, got held up at work.”

“No worries. The match hasn’t started yet.”

He gently placed his hand at the small of her back, guiding her toward their seats.

“So tell me, what’s a girl like you doing with tickets like these?”

“And what exactly is a girl like me?” she asked, intrigued.

Uh oh. Dangerous ground.

“You just seem a bit too sophisticated for this kind of event. It’s a world full of brawlers.”

“Wise guy,” she teased with a laugh. “I actually thought you were going to say I looked more like the type who’d go to a Broadway show or a Taylor Swift concert.”

“Me? Think that? Completely,” he said with a wolfish grin that made her laugh again.

“Well, I am guilty ! I am that kind of woman. But I got these tickets for work. I’m writing an article about the match.”

Just then, the arena lights dimmed and the jumbo screen began scanning the audience for celebrity lookalikes. After a few hilarious comparisons, the camera landed on Haymitch and Effie side by side with Anna and Kristoff from Frozen. They both burst out laughing.

Then came the kiss cam.

Haymitch turned to her. She looked flustered but didn’t pull away. Finally, she leaned closer, and he closed the distance. The kiss was quick but the crowd’s cheers made it feel much longer.

A few minutes later, as the fight picked up speed, he noticed Effie’s eyes glued to her phone.

“You should enjoy the match. You can write your notes after,” he said.

“I have to take everything down,” she replied without looking up. “It has to be perfect. I’m very, very, verydetail-oriented.”

“Need a hand? Do you even know the rules?”

“I don’t need help but you know what I do need?”

“No, what?” he asked, leaning a little closer. She smelled incredible.

“A Coke. No ice, please.”

Haymitch glanced at the ring. One minute left in the second round.

“Hang on, I’ll grab one as soon as this round ends.”

“No, I need sugar now,” she pouted, clearly done waiting.

“One minute won’t kill you. I might miss an epic knockout.”

“Fine! I’ll go myself,” she said, annoyed.

“No, I got it. Keep writing. I’ll be quick.” He rushed off toward the concession stand.

He bit back the words he wanted to say. He couldn’t afford to let his temper show, not now. He just had to make it through eleven more days.

After tonight, ten.

He could do this.

“A Coke, please. No ice,” he said, eyes fixed on the giant screen so he wouldn’t miss a single move.

“With ice, you said?”

He turned and found an old man with shaky hands fumbling behind the counter. Great. At this rate, he’d be here until morning.

“No ice,” Haymitch repeated, sighing as he turned back toward the screen.

“For sixty cents more, you can get the XXL cup.”

“You know what? Just give me that one and keep the change,” he muttered, snatching the cup before sprinting back to his seat.

“Here.”

“Oh, thank you! You’re adorable,” Effie said with her dazzling smile.

He sat down, refocused on the fight. For a blissful moment, silence, until she called his name. He ignored it, eyes glued to the ring, just as Tresh landed a brutal punch on Cato. Then she tugged at his sleeve.

“What?” he snapped then caught himself. “What is it, princess ?”

“The Coke isn’t cold enough.”

He gave her a slow, incredulous look. “You asked for no ice.”

“I know, but now I want ice. It’s not refreshing at all.”

“Fine. I’ll get you another one before we leave.”

“Haymiiitch,” she pouted. “I’m thirsty now.”

“Alright, alright, fine,” he said, jumping up again.

The crowd erupted the moment he turned. He spun back toward the screen just in time to see Tresh hit the floor. Cato had won.

“Damn it! I missed it!”

He grabbed another Coke this time with ice and made his way back to her.

“Oh, Haymitch, you should’ve seen it! The way Cato took Tresh down was incredible! Such a shame you missed it!”

“Yeah, I wonder why,” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“I said I’ll catch it on the replay.”

“It’s not the same as being there live, you know!”

He clenched his jaw, swallowing the words that were begging to come out. All that running around for a Coke she wasn’t even drinking.

“Actually, do you want it?” she asked sweetly, holding the cup out. “I shouldn’t have soda anyway. Bad for my silhouette.”

He took it, exhaled deeply, and drank just to keep himself from answering.

“I had a lovely evening, Haymitch. We should do this again soon,” she said, fluttering her lashes.

“Me too, Effie. Thanks for coming with me,” he replied with a polite smile. Truth was, it hadn’t been that bad at least, the beginning of the night had been promising.

He walked her to her small car.

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

Effie stayed in character, but she couldn’t deny how much this little game amused her and how hard he was trying to keep his composure.

She opened her car door, then paused, glancing at him.

“Tell me something,” she asked softly. “Are you really as nice as you seem?”

He hesitated, then shook his head with a crooked smile. “No.” He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

She smiled, clearly entertained.

“Then I guess we’re the same. Have a good night, Haymitch.”

She slipped into her car, started the engine, and drove off leaving him standing there with that faint, stubborn smile still tugging at his lips.

The next day at the office, she told her sister and Portia about her date.

“I swear, he looked like he was about to explode but was holding it in. I don’t think he’ll last more than three days.”

“That was almost cruel,” commented Proserpina.

“That was the whole point. I was hoping he’d raise his voice a little so I could play the hysterical one, but he stayed surprisingly polite. The guy’s got serious self-control. Anyway, I’m saving the hysterics for my grand finale.”

“So, what are you going to do today?”

“I think I’ll just spook him a bit, act like I’m moving way too fast. You know, like I’m already obsessed after just two dates.”

“I don’t really see the issue. We’re always a bit obsessed at the start of a relationship.” Said Proserpina

“And that’s exactly the problem,” Effie and Portia said in unison, making Proserpina jump.

“I don’t understand men. Maybe I should just try dating women.”

“Trust me, it’s just as complicated. Humans are complicated, period. You just need to find a guy as intense as you,” said Effie to reassure her sister.

“No, she just needs coaching lessons,” added Portia.

“Anyway! I’m calling him at his office, hang on.”

She called, but his secretary picked up and told her to call back later. When Effie mentioned her name, the woman asked her to hold, and a few moments later Haymitch’s deep voice came on the line.

“Hello?”

“It’s meee!”

“Hey, princess. Listen, can I call you back in a few minutes? I’m in a meeting right now.”

“No, I want to talk now! I miss you so much, Mitchyyyy!” she said, motioning to the girls to quiet down as they stifled their laughter.

“I miss you too…” He sounded hesitant and overly cheerful, which nearly made her burst out laughing.

“I know this sounds crazy, but… could we see each other tonight?”

“Yeah, sure. Maybe go for a ride on the bike?”

“Oh yes, that’d be perfect! I can’t wait to see you tonight then! I’ll call you later!”

“See you later.”

She hung up, and the girls finally burst out laughing.

“Girls, I swear, I’m so embarrassed,” she said, hiding her face in her hands.

“Just remember it’ll all be over in a few days!”

“What’s your plan for tonight?”

“I’m going to play the jealous one.”

Around 6 p.m., Haymitch called to say he was waiting downstairs. She checked herself one last time in the mirror and hurried to meet him.

He came up, wrapped his arms around her waist, and gave her a light kiss on the cheek.

“I’m here. Hope you didn’t miss me too much.”

“Oh, I did! I couldn’t wait to see you again. And in that leather jacket you’re irresistible,” she said, making him laugh.

“You’re not a bit…?” He stopped mid-sentence, clearly searching for a word other than crazy.

“Passionate?” she offered, helping him out.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he said, handing her the helmet, which she quickly put on.

They rode to a lively park where rows of food stalls represented dishes from all the districts. Haymitch led her to one called Poseidon.

“Hey, Finnick,” greeted Haymitch.

“Haymitch! Long time no see. What can I get for you and the lovely lady?”

Effie smiled and greeted Finnick in return.

“What would you like?” Haymitch asked her.

She hesitated for a moment before ordering a portion of paella. Haymitch went for the seafood pastilla.

“It’s on the house,” Finnick said with a grin. “It’s not every day Haymitch shows up with a girl.”

“Finnick,” Haymitch warned in a low tone, while his friend simply winked.

They walked away from the stall, eating slowly and enjoying their meals.

“So, you don’t go out with girls often?”

“Don’t listen to him, he was just teasing me.”

“Shame. I thought I was special.”

“I don’t let just anyone ride my bike. You’ve been special since the first night.”

She looked at him, trying to figure out if he was serious or just smooth-talking. Then she remembered what he’d said that first evening. He’s definitely a speaker.

“You’re really good at charming women, you know that?” she said with a grin.

Just then, a woman walked past. Effie suddenly put on an offended look, catching Haymitch off guard.

“Seriously? Right in front of me?”

“What?”

“You know her?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The woman who just walked by! Don’t act like I didn’t see you checking her out.”

“Who? I didn’t look at anyone! You’re imagining things.”

“I’m not stupid, Haymitch. I saw you eyeing her from head to toe. Am I not enough for you?”

“Hey, come on. I didn’t look at anyone. How could I, when I’ve barely ever seen a woman as beautiful as you?”

“Oh, really?”

“You actually doubted it?”

“Not anymore,” she said, hugging him.

As she did, she noticed a man sitting on a nearby bench, staring at them intensely. A mischievous idea crossed her mind.

“What are you looking at?” she snapped at him. “If you keep staring, my boyfriend’s gonna kick your ass!”

She tightened her grip on Haymitch’s arm, who looked at her, utterly bewildered.

“Hey, man, keep your girl in check before I lose my temper,” the stranger retorted.

“How dare you speak to me like that?” Effie shot back, indignant.

“Watch your tone,” Haymitch warned.

“Or what?” the man said, standing up.

Effie’s eyes widened. Sitting down, he’d looked normal. Standing, he was well over two meters tall and built like a wall.

“Uh, Haymitch… maybe we should go,” she whispered.

“No, Effie. Apologize to her, she didn’t deserve—”

He didn’t finish his sentence. The man’s fist came out of nowhere and sent him crashing to the ground. Effie tried to catch him, but ended up falling too.

“Haymitch! Are you okay?” she asked, hearing him groan.

“Haymitch?” she repeated, panicked. She tried to move to see his face, but his strong arms held her close.

“Don’t move… let’s just stay like this for a second,” he murmured, pressing his cheek against her chest with a smile.

“You faker! You’re not hurt at all!”

“I am… but I feel better like this,” he said, smirking.

She laughed.

“Come on, get up. Everyone’s staring at us.”

“I think I earned it, don’t you?”

She looked at him for a moment, then leaned down and kissed the spot where the man had hit him.

“There. A magic kiss.”

“That’s it? I deserve more than a nephew kiss,” he teased.

She laughed again and helped him to his feet.

Later, he dropped her off in front of her place. Before she could go inside, he called her.

“Are you free tomorrow night?”

“For you? Always.”

“Come have dinner at my place.”

Effie smiled. Perfect. Time for phase three.

Chapter Text

“If you’d seen him, girls, he was adorable with his little injury.”

“No one looks adorable with a bruise,” Portia mocked.

“You know Effie, she thinks that kind of thing looks manly.” said Proserpina.

“Oh, stop acting like my taste in men is questionable! He was just cute, asking for a hug to feel better,” Effie laughed, taking a sip of her coffee.

“So, who won the match last night?” asked Proserpina.

“Cato, obviously. Tresh was promising, but Cato’s way too trained. He was born for this. I still have to finish writing my article. By the way, I’m filling in for Johanna while she’s on leave,” she explained, since she almost never wrote for the sports section.

They both nodded.

“So what’s next?” Proserpina asked, clapping her hands in excitement. For her, it was like watching a movie.

“He invited me over for dinner tonight.”

“Ooooh!”

“I’ll bring a few things. My toothbrush, some tampons, and vaginal yeast cream,” she said with a laugh at the last one.

“Sounds promising,” Portia teased.

“And I’ll add a few girly decorative touches. He’s going to freak out. He’ll think I’m starting to move in.”

“That’s it? I mean, it’s normal to leave a few things at your new boyfriend’s place.”

“It’s not normal,” Effie and Portia said in unison, both exasperated.

“My dear, if your sister wants to let you suffer, I refuse. I’m coaching you,” sighed Portia.

“Leave her, she’s young. She’ll learn the hard way,” Effie said, moving closer to her sister to get away from Portia. “But you should still listen to her, Portia was so popular in college.”

“Don’t listen to your sister. She was the one stealing all the attention.”

“It’s true, you were the cool one. And look at you now.”

“Yeah… driving a guy insane just for an article,” Effie said quietly, realizing it for the first time.

She’d always wanted to be a journalist, but she’d imagined more than writing life tips columns.

She wanted to write about architecture, the city’s history, meet fascinating people and tell their stories. To shed light on forgotten voices.

“So, what should I wear tonight?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to adopt him after these ten days?”

“You really think he’ll still want me after what I’m going to put him through?” Effie teased.

“You’re not saying no,” Portia prodded.

“What I’m saying is, if I really wanted to adopt him, I’d pick another victim. But just in case, I’m wearing my yellow dress. Just in case”

“The yellow dress with the neckline?” Proserpina asked.

“Yes. That one.”

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

“You really took quite a hit,” Katniss commented when she ran into Haymitch that morning.

“Don’t remind me. Every time I blink, it hurts like hell.”

“Is that normal?” she asked, a hint of concern in her voice.

“No idea, and honestly, I’d rather not know. It’ll go away eventually,” he muttered, flipping through his mail before turning on his computer.

“By the way, Haymitch, Mom’s throwing a party for Prim’s birthday this weekend. She invited you. Are you free?”

“Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t miss the little Primrose’s eighteenth for the world.”

“I can’t wait to see them again,” said Katniss with a small smile.

It was the biggest smile you could ever get from her, enough to reveal her dimples. Katniss was incredibly close to her younger sister, whom she had practically raised after their mother’s breakdown. Haymitch smiled nostalgically, thinking of his own brother, but quickly pushed the thought away before it spoiled his mood. Memories like that always made him want to drink.

Still, his mood didn’t improve. He spent the whole afternoon grumpy, with zero motivation to cook and even less to see Effie.

Maybe Chaff had been right. Last night had been… something else.

“What happened to you, man?” Chaff asked when he passed by his desk.

“You were right. She’s crazy,” Haymitch replied.

“I didn’t want to say it, but… I told you so.”

“The first night, she was actually great. But these last two? I’ve had to stop myself from… ugh, never mind. I’m just counting the days till this week’s over.”

“You could still pick another one, you know.”

Haymitch hesitated, then said,

“No… I mean… listen, I got my ass kicked because of her, but… the part where she cuddled me after? I can’t say I hated it.”

Chaff burst out laughing.

“I knew it! You like being roughed up a little.”

“Oh yeah? That what you think?”

“Face it, man, you’re a caveman. You need a woman who can put you in your place.”

“Yeah, well, maybe not like that. Anyway, I’ve got to go. Need to grab some groceries for tonight. And maybe clean up a bit, my place is a mess. Honestly, I don’t even know why I invited her.”

“Be nice and you’ll have a great evening.”

“Stop saying that!”

As he finished the last details of his recipe, the doorbell rang.

“Come in, it’s open!” he called out.

“You leave your door unlocked? Aren’t you afraid some stranger might walk in?”

“Relax, it’s fine.”

“I mean… with your neighborhood…” she started, then trailed off.

“Not everyone lives in fancy Capitol districts,” he said, not the least bit offended. He knew full well they came from different worlds. She was Capitol-born, probably never had to fight for anything.

“I didn’t mean it like that…”

“So, tell me,” he said, changing the subject, “what’s with the huge bag? Did you bring me something?”

“Oh yes, I brought us something. Ta-da!” she said, pulling a plant out of her bag.

“An Aspidistra! It represents our relationship! I made sure to pick a very resilient plant, doesn’t need much water or light. Do you like it?” she asked, stepping closer to him.

He blinked, caught off guard.

“Uh—yeah… wow, great… awesome…” he stammered, not sure what else to say.

He took the plant and set it on the entryway table.

“Don’t let it die, Haymitch. Don’t let us die,” she added dramatically.

He said nothing, pretending to focus on setting the table while she busied herself with… whatever it was she was doing. He didn’t want to know.

Nine more days, he thought grimly.

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

She decorated the place like she was moving in.

A framed photo of herself on the TV stand.

Her glittery pink toothbrush next to his.

A ruffled pink rug in the bathroom, a box of tampons on the shelf, and a stuffed bear on the couch.

She should’ve brought one for the bed too, but that hadn’t crossed her mind.

As she was arranging things near the door, she noticed a small bronze token. She picked it up and read the letters AA and the number 1. A sobriety coin. Was he a recovering alcoholic?

She quickly put it back, not wanting him to notice she’d snooped. In her defense, it was right there in plain sight.

To change the mood, she opened her playlist and switched the music. Taylor Swift. Blank Space.

She smiled and started singing along, swaying lightly.

At first, Haymitch didn’t pay attention. But then he caught the lyrics, looked up and right as she sang,

“’Cause, darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.”

Their eyes met. His widened, slightly alarmed.

She burst out laughing and kept singing, flashing that disarming smile as he approached, carrying a large plate of food that actually looked delicious.

“You really do like Taylor Swift, huh?” he said with an awkward chuckle then froze when he spotted the photo on his TV stand… and the teddy bear on the couch.

“Oh, so you didn’t just bring your little plant?”

“Haymitch! It’s our plant!” she said, scandalized. “And yes, I brought that picture because you said you missed me yesterday,” she added, giving him her sweetest look and wrapping an arm around his waist.

“How about we start eating?” he said, gently pulling away and sitting down.

She smiled. Tonight, he’s going to crack.

But as they started dinner, she winced at the sound of his glass clinking against the table.

“You don’t have coasters?”

Haymitch laughed.

“Do I look like a guy who owns coasters?”

“I’m just saying it’d be nicer, especially with a glass table like yours.”

“I’ve lived alone for years, princess. Never needed any,” he replied casually.

That’s when she realized two things: he’d been alone for a long time… and he was maybe a recovering alcoholic.

She wanted to slip back into her character, but curiosity got the better of her.

“Do you like being alone?”

“Depends. When you choose it, yeah. When it’s forced on you… not so much.”

“Which one are you?”

He took a sip of his drink, eyes locked on hers.

“I’d say… we should change the subject. We’re supposed to be having a nice evening, right?”

The tension was clear. She decided to break it with a smile.

“Yes! Because now that I’m here, you’ll never, ever be alone again.”

He choked a little. “Instead of saying nonsense, just eat your dinner.”

“This is really good. It’s been a long time since I ate that much.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” he said without thinking.

She froze, eyes wide. For once, she wasn’t pretending.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What?”

“What do you mean, you can tell?”

“I mean… uh…” He stopped mid-sentence, realizing where this was going. “You’re slim, that’s all.”

“Yes?”

“That’s… good, right? You’re the one who said you’re watching your shape.”

“It sounded like an insult.”

“It wasn’t really,” he muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Wasn’t really?” she shot back, offended.

He could feel himself digging deeper.

“What’s so bad about me saying you’re slim? Isn’t that supposed to be a compliment for you?” he asked, setting his glass down.

The sharp clink made her flinch.

“I don’t know, you tell me. And please. Use a coaster,” she snapped.

He sighed.

“Fine. I just meant you’d look even better with a few more curves, alright?” He put the glass down harder this time, just to annoy her.

Effie stood up, truly offended now.

“That’s rude. I love how I look. And you, with your zero sense of fashion, what would you know about what looks better?”

“I’ve told you a thousand times you’re gorgeous. Do I need to say it every day?”

“Apparently it’s still not enough for you.”

He groaned, looking up at the ceiling.

“Just sit down, let’s eat, okay?”

“I’m not hungry anymore,” she said coldly, moving to the couch.

Effie had always been sensitive about her looks.

She carried herself like someone confident, but that confidence was paper-thin.

She fiddled with the little teddy bear she’d brought, more to distract herself than anything else.

After a moment, Haymitch joined her, calmer now.

“Come here,” he murmured, opening his arms.

She wanted to protest, but her gaze lingered on his tired face, the bruise beneath his eye, his tousled hair. He had that mix of roughness and gentleness she hated to admit she found attractive.

So she gave in, leaning into him.

He wrapped his arms around her slowly and kissed the top of her head.

“Let me show you how much I want you.” he murmured near her ear.

He said that while seizing her lips, kissing her passionately. Soon, his lips trailed down her neck, and in the heat of the moment, she forgot herself. Damn it! She was Miss Tips ! She had to stay in character.

With a swift, skillful move, she pushed him beneath her, taking control.

“Well, let’s see if Mitchy is ready for me,” she whispered sensually, her hands slowly sliding toward his belt.

But Haymitch caught her wrists, stopping her from going any further.

“Mitchy? Wait, that’s what you’re calling it?”

“It’s cute.”

“My equipment is not cute.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t know yet, I haven’t seen it,” she teased, shrugging playfully.

He sat up and stared at her.

“No, it needs a stronger name. Otherwise, I won’t be… optimal.”

“I still like Mitchy.”

“I don’t know… maybe Spartacus?”

Effie’s eyes dropped below his belt, a mischievous smile on her lips.

“I’m not sure it quite qualifies as a Spartacus.”

“Wait, he’s just not ready yet,” he said, moving closer to kiss her again, fiercely.

But after a few minutes, Mitchy still wasn’t ready.

“It’s because… because you shouldn’t have called it Mitchy,” he muttered, clearly frustrated.

“It’s fine, it happens. And anyway, it’s not your fault if I’m not exactly your type,” she teased, but his look turned serious.

“Effie, that’s not what I meant. I just—”

“Don’t worry, I was teasing. I get it,” she said softly.

“And with that dress…” he murmured, his eyes lingering on her cleavage.

“It does have its usual effect,” she replied with a smirk. “Well, if Spartacus doesn’t want me tonight, I suppose I have nothing left to do here.”

“I’ll walk you out.”

“No need. I drove here.”

As she stepped into the elevator, frustration rose within her. She really had wanted to have fun with him, but fate clearly had other plans. Just before the doors could close, Haymitch’s hand stopped them.

“Yes?” Effie asked, surprised.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Nothing…” she replied hesitantly.

“Can we see each other?”

“You want to see me?” she said, forcing a smile.

“Of course I want to see you. I’ll call you,” he said, just before the elevator doors finally closed.

She hadn’t expected him to come after her like that. Was he crazy? Maybe still half-drunk? Who knew what she was getting herself into this time?

The next morning, when Effie arrived at the office, she decided to look him up.

She didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to her sooner.

Typing his first and last name didn’t bring up much,  just a few credits on some commercials. Still, she was impressed, even surprised to find he’d worked on ads she’d loved, the kind that had stuck in her head for days.

After scrolling through several pages, she stumbled upon an intriguing article hosted on an archive site. The title mentioned the District 12 Rebellion. She still remembered that scandal, it had made quite a stir back then.

Just as she was about to click on it, she heard her name and jumped.

“Effie.”

She recognized Tigris’s voice instantly and hurried to close every open tab that hinted she wasn’t actually working.

“I read the notes you sent me. They’re perfect. When are you seeing him again?” Tigris asked.

“This afternoon. He suggested we meet, and I thought I’d surprise him at his office. I’ve officially reached stage three: being pervasive.”

“Excellent. Keep me updated on your article,” Tigris said in her light voice before heading back to her desk.

Effie sighed and reopened her browser history to find the page where she had found find the article, but the article was gone. She checked to make sure it was the right page number and yes, it was.

It couldn’t have just disappeared, could it?

She scrolled again, page after page, but found nothing.

Then she remembered that Peeta was from District 12. She got up and walked over to him.

“Peeta, I never told you the name of the man I’m seeing for the article.”

Peeta looked up from his screen, puzzled.

“Is that supposed to be important?”

“Do you know someone named Haymitch Abernathy?”

“The name rings a bell,” Peeta said, frowning. “I think my father mentioned him once, but I don’t actually know him. Sorry, Effie. Do you want me to look him up for you?”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll handle it. Seems like that article might be more interesting than I thought.”

✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤ ❂ ✤✥✤

Meanwhile, Haymitch was having lunch with Chaff, still grumbling about Effie.

“Listen, man, you’ve only got seven days left. And since you’re out of town this weekend, that’s really just five.”

“I’m starting to be afraid of her, Chaff.”

“Whoa. You know women can be psychopaths too, right?”

“I swear, she started singing this song and it felt like she was about to devour me. And then, I don’t know… we argued, and the next second I wanted to jump her.”

“Yeah, you’re weird, man.”

“Can you two keep it down?” Katniss muttered from a few seats away, eyes glued to her phone. “You’re disgusting.”

“Come on, let’s play some pool,” said Chaff.

“Anyway, there was no coming back after she called it Mitchy,” Haymitch said, laughing.

As they were setting up the table, Haymitch suddenly heard his name and a chill ran down his spine.

“Surprise!”

He turned around.

Effie stood there, radiant, dressed in a boldly checkered suit, a huge handbag hanging from her arm and inside it, some sort of creature.

“Effie! What a surprise!” he said, greeting her with a hug.

“I thought I’d do something nice and drop by your workplace and I had to meet your colleagues!”

“Effie! What a surprise!” he said, greeting her with a quick hug.

“I’m here! I wanted to do something nice, so I came to see you at work. And I absolutely had to meet your colleagues!”

“Well, you can start with Chaff who, by the way, is my only colleague.”

He silently prayed she wouldn’t run into Katniss. If she recognized her, he was broke. She couldn’t know he was so broke he couldn’t even afford a delivery service. Nothing less attractive than a broke man.

“Charmed, Chaff! I’m so delighted to meet you!” she exclaimed before turning to Haymitch.

“Well, he doesn’t look nearly as stupid as you said he was.”

Haymitch’s eyes widened. He’d never said that but before he could protest, she continued brightly,

“Look what I bought for us!”

He noticed again the odd creature poking out of her oversized bag.

“Effie, you didn’t have to. You already bought that little plant for us.”

“Yes, but this isn’t the same, this is our baby!” she said, pulling out a strange, hairless chimera and placing it in his arms.

“Uh… what is that thing?”

“A Sphynx, of course,” she said with exaggerated confidence. “And look, I even gave him a sweater that matches mine! We’re coordinated!”

Haymitch glanced at Chaff, who was clearly fighting back laughter.

“I got you one too,” Effie added, holding up an identical sweater. “Do you like it?”

“It’s… adorable, Effie. Really. Thanks.”

“Then put it on. Right now.”

He obeyed while Chaff tried not to burst out laughing. Haymitch shot him a death glare.

Once he had it on, Effie grabbed him and kissed him possessively. He tried to pull away, uncomfortable with the public display.

“I missed you too, but easy, Effie,” he murmured, holding her gently.

He caught Katniss’s eyes across the room, she had just walked in. With a silent look, he told her not to come any closer. She turned around immediately. They always understood each other.

“Look at us ! The three of us, such a perfect little family,” Effie said dreamily. “Until we have our two kids, of course! A boy and a girl.”

“I’m thrilled for you,” Chaff said dryly, teasing Haymitch.

“Well, I’ll leave Spartacus with you. I’m not allowed to have pets in my apartment,” she said, setting the bag on the pool table.

“Spartacus? Wait, no! You bought it, you take care of it. I don’t want that cat.”

“What do you mean, you don’t want our baby?” she said, looking like she might burst into tears.

“I mean you can’t just decide that on your own! I can’t keep it, that’s all.”

“Of course you can. I called your owner, she said pets are totally fine.”

“What— wait. How did you even get my owner’s number?!”

“Oh, I have to run, lots of work to do! Bye!” she said cheerfully, leaving without a backward glance.

Haymitch stood frozen, then sighed deeply.

Chaff placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You were right about her. Gorgeous but completely insane.”

“Five days is too long,” Haymitch muttered, rubbing his temples.

“Yeah…”

Right then, the cat peed on the pool table.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

The next day, he decided not to call her or answer her calls.

He needed a little less Effie in his life.

If he saw her again too soon, he might actually lose his mind.

When his voicemail finally filled up, he started listening.

Every single message was from Effie. She must have called every ten minutes.

“It’s me!”

“You’re not answering?”

“I miss you, Mitchy.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“It’s me! You’re still not picking up.”

He let the messages play as he fed the leftovers of his lunch to the little monster on four legs.

Then, someone knocked on the door.

“It’s me, Mitchy!”

His heart nearly stopped.